London, England - Lead singer for the English rock band Coldplay stunned the music industry Wednesday when he announced that the band was breaking up in 2009.

 

There have been rumors swirling about why the band decided to split. Those rumors were answered when it was discovered that Chris Martin's life is going to mirror the song "Viva La Vida", which was Coldplay's enormous hit this year. Martin dressed in regal attire explained to the reporters gathered outside his London flat that the song "Viva La Vida" was in fact his future kingly intentions. That as of 2009 the band was breaking up so he could finally rule his own country.

 

He also told the reporters to refer to him and his actress wife, Gwyneth Paltrow as "your Royal Majesty", and their daughter Apple as "your Royal Highness".

 

Reports say that Chris Martin was finally fed up with the British government. Martin is now looking for his own country to implement his own governmental policies, preferably one he can rule. In 2005 Chris Martin snubbed Prime Minister Tony Blair because of the Iraq War and Blair's governmental policies. Many of those same policies Prime Minister Brown has continued.

 

Martin told befuddled reporters that he would prefer to rule a large rich country like a Saudi Arabia, instead of small principality like Monaco. He said countries like tiny Lichtenstein would not do unless that country was the Vatican City than that would be sufficient. Martin also added that the Vatican City would suit him just fine as long was he was crowned pope and referred to as "his Holiness". He stated he would not mind wearing the papal hat because it would hide his receding hairline.

 

Martin said he would be a generous and benevolent king and all his subjects would get free copies of the bands latest CD.

 

THIS ARTICLE IS COMPLETELY FICTITIOUS. I WAS CRYING WHEN I READ IT BUT IT CAME FROM SPOOF.COM AND SAID IT WAS FICTION. THANK YOU JESUS,

oh i know! it scared the crap outta me too. then i started cracking up when i saw chris making all those jokes.

 

what. a. relief.

News from the duh!

:worried: .... :uhoh:

 

why those kind of articles now when is not April's fool yet (aka 1st April)? :thinking:

 

:bigcry:

i'm from saudi arabia...chris and the rest of the band are very welcome here:lol:.

 

if he rule ksa he must give me new song evry single day so i can cheer for him:P otherwise i prefer our current king ..so if chris will come here he must be so much better:laugh3:......or dont u dare chris and come:veryangry2:

Australia is a rich country. He can come here.... he also looks a lot better then Kevin.

Bwahahaahaha, Chris would never say those things! :P

if barack obama didn't win, i would say chris could HAVE america. alas, i'd quite like to live in an obama america, so i'm going to have to say that chris can't rule america, at least until barack is given at least two years of chance :D

 

i would, however, divide my time between america and whatever country chris goes to rule :P

(and england. why can't he just overthrow the current british government?)

Australia is a rich country. He can come here.... he also looks a lot better then Kevin.

 

yesyesyesyesyes :D

Almost as good as watermelons :P

That article is funny yet WEIRD.......