Miss Lestrade Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 ^ Oh YEAH! I know that one! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldplay_is_louve. Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 hah, all these stories are great! good job everyone! :clap:! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleBlur Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 These stories are great *pulls out stamps of approval* I look at this thread every two minutes to see ifanyone posts anything new lol :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleBlur Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 I loved the story :thumbsup: It was a great idea to add yourself in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleBlur Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Ok...here is the next part to Kittens... Kittens [Part 2] All the guys are at the bakery still hanging out with Kitty... Guy: I'm going to watch some TV while I can. Will: Right behind ya'. Chris: Ok Kitty, we got you food, milk, and a bed kind of thing... Jonny: I'm going to watch TV with the guys... Chris: I'll be over in a sec. Kitty: Meeeooow. Chris: Your such a cute Kitty... Chris is stroking Kitty as he cradles her in his arms like a baby... Chris: Come on let's go watch some TV... Chris walks over to the couch and sits on the couch still cradling Kitty... Will: Uhhmmm...Guy, why are we watching... this? Guy: It's iCarly! Jonny: Why are we watching iCarly? Chris: Awww I love Maranda Cosgrove! She's such a cute girl. Guy: Chris, you think everything is cute! Jonny and will can't help but let out a small laugh... Chris: Oh we live in a beautiful world... Jonny: All right, I'm going home for the night... Chris: Bye Jonny, I'll see you tommorow for rehersal. Jonny leaves as Kitty strides across the couch to Guy... Will: Guy...someone likes you... Kitty: Meooow. Guy: Shish Will! Will: Oh well, I'm leaving anyways. Guy: I'll see you at rehersal tommorow! Will leaves as Guy and chris stay planted on the couch with Kitty... Guy: Now that iCarly is over there's nothing on! Chris: Want to see if that interview we did today aired yet? Guy: No thanks I think I'm going to get going. Chris: Yeah I'm gonna get going too. Kitty: Meowwww. Guy: Are you going to leave her here? Chris: She can handle herself for one night. Guy: I guese, she does have all her needs here. Chris: Alright let's go. Chris and Guy leave the Bakery leaving Kitty on her own. Kitty knew she would be fine. She was grateful for the home they had given her... -------------------------------------------- Yay! Part 2 is finished... May not be as good as part 1 but part three will surely be better Part three shall be a posted by tommorow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Lestrade Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 iCarly? :uhoh2: The only funny part about that show is Spencer! You know, about a week ago, I was actually planning to do a story in which Guy finds a cat. I can't really do that now, though. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobalt Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Make it a puppy or a bird Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corkus Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Repeating parrot! REPEATING PARROT! :D Guy having the mindset of a 9-year-old girl is unintentionally hysterical. This kitty better not go tearing up postcards overnight in the bakery. :sneaky: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Lestrade Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Jonny: I love Chris...*sigh* Parrot: Squawk! I love Chris! Jonny: OH NO! :sick: Parrot: I love Chris! I love Chris! Jonny: AHHHHH! :uhoh2: Chris: Hey Jon! Parrot: I love Chris! Chris: :blush: Jonny: :dead: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In a telescope lens Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Kyra, for the sick days of coldplay.... I LOVE IT!!:D And that picture is sooo cute:wacky:!! Oh and Lauren I LOVED part four as well!!!:D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Lestrade Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Thank you! I do my best. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleBlur Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Jonny: I love Chris...*sigh* Parrot: Squawk! I love Chris! Jonny: OH NO! :sick: Parrot: I love Chris! I love Chris! Jonny: AHHHHH! :uhoh2: Chris: Hey Jon! Parrot: I love Chris! Chris: :blush: Jonny: :dead: lol hilarious! :laugh3: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corkus Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Jonny: I love Chris...*sigh* Parrot: Squawk! I love Chris! Jonny: OH NO! :sick: Parrot: I love Chris! I love Chris! Jonny: AHHHHH! :uhoh2: Chris: Hey Jon! Parrot: I love Chris! Chris: :blush: Jonny: :dead: I only like Chris/Jonny stuff when in short spurts. Likewise, this was perfect. :laugh3: I admit that I hadn't read earlier chapters of Sick Days of Coldplay, but I'm gonna get around to it, I promise! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleBlur Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I guess my kitten stories are doing better than I expected I mean, I was doing them as I thought of them lol :laugh3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Lestrade Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 I only like Chris/Jonny stuff when in short spurts. Likewise, this was perfect. :laugh3: I admit that I hadn't read earlier chapters of Sick Days of Coldplay, but I'm gonna get around to it, I promise! ;) Lol, that's funny, because I don't really like it either! :laugh3: It just seemed to fit in with the parrot thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corkus Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 More secrets unfold! Chris and Will got spotlight last time, so Jonny and Guy get more focus here. More cast is introduced here as the plot starts building, although it may be the final chapter to get away with a PG rating. The brutality and swearing increases from this point. COLDFELLAS CHAPTER 3: A WHISPER Rating: PG Jonny and Guy step into an elevator. Jonny hits the button labeled ‘B5’ as the elevator descends deep underground. As it comes to a halt, the two step out into a rather posh-looking room, with the walls lined with delicate paintings and glass objects. Guy: “Finally, I can relax. Away from the world, away from Chris and Will, away from my obsessive legion of crazed lady lovers.” Jonny: “There is still work to do, Guy. Let’s both go into the lounge and wait for the Boss to arrive. Be careful with that luggage you’re hauling in, too!” Guy: “It’s freaking heavy, and I’ve been carrying it this whole time!” Jonny: “Ladies don’t like flab, Guy! Work those puny muscles of yours!” As Guy grumbles to himself, he and Jonny head into the lounge. Inside is a lengthy glass table, with three mean sitting side-by-side by the wall. These men – like those of Politik, Inc. – are professional mobsters who have been in the business for years. They are as follows: 1) The Edge – Tired of taking garbage from Bono all day, The Edge has regressed to becoming a chronic alcoholic in order to drink away his miseries. This drunken state, however, greatly enhances both his rage and killing abilities, making him a viable asset to the mafia. Half the time, his speech is totally slurred. 2) Tom Chaplin – Ever since his experience with hallucinogenic mushrooms on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland, Tom is thoroughly convinced that he is a pirate. He wears an eye patch and purposely got his left leg amputated so that he could replace it with a tree stump. Tom speaks fluent pirate talk, and the other members of Keane dare not “board his ship”. 3) Gary Lightbody – Recruited to the team after Richard Ashcroft’s betrayal, Gary is a hippie at heart who enjoys wearing flashy tie-dye wear and is often caught smoking pot in a rainbow-colored minivan. The mob hasn’t viewed him the same ever since that fateful day where he tried protesting clothes. Jonny: “Gentlemen, we have successfully stolen the ancient china from the one called Jay-Z. We were fortunate that our naive singer enlisted him for a performance of Lost+, enabling us to make our clean break-in.” Edge: “While I’m still sober, let me congratulate you two on your crafty thievery. Indeed, Green Eyes, Inc. just may be the most successful secret mob of thieves ever to rule the underground world.” Guy: “So what’s the status on the Boss?” Tom: “Arrgh…the Boss be returning shortly. Word has it some scurvy landlubber be stirrin’ up trouble, and we be makin’ ‘im walk the plank.” Guy: “You mean we’re gonna whack someone?” Tom: “Tis precisely what I be sayin’.” Gary: “So Jonny, lay it on me, man. You look troubled. Why don’t we kiss the sky for a bit?” Jonny: “I’m not kissing Guy.” Gary: “Nah, the sky. What’s the matter?” Jonny: “Nothing. I’m just…contemplating…things…” Edge: “Dude, you need to get him off your mind for a while. I don’t have to be sober to tell you that.” Guy: “Jonny, don’t take it personally. It’s just…” Jonny: “Shut up! SHUT UP! None of you understand.” Tom: “Yarrgh! Blow me down! The boss be approaching!” The door slams open as a cold wind sends shivers down the spines of all five men. The mafia don of Green Eyes, Inc. steps through the doorway with a look of raw hatred and evil. Jonny: “The honor is mine…Don Gwyneth.” Guy: “Jonny and I have fulfilled your request, Ms. Paltrow.” The don – Gwyneth Paltrow – turns an eye toward Guy and glares at him with pure contempt. Gwyneth: “Don’t you DARE refer to me as ‘Ms. Paltrow’ EVER again.” Edge: “I suppose you’d like the sound of ‘Mrs. Martin’?” Gwyneth: “Cram a sock in your ass, Mr. Evans!” Gwyneth pulls a bottle of whiskey from her briefcase and hurls it at The Edge full-force. The Edge ducks. Edge: “All right! Free whiskey!” Gwyneth: “It’s bad enough that my foolish husband goes missing every night. Just look at this pathetic note that he left for me and the kids.” Gwyneth places a small piece of paper on the table that reads: ‘DEAR GWYNNIE AND APPIE AND MOSIE: SOME UNSCHEDULED BUSINESS HAS COME UP AND I WILL NOT BE HOME TONIGHT. GWYNETH, PLEASE CALL ROADIE 42 AND HE WILL COME PICK UP THE KIDS FOR SCHOOL. ALSO, CANCEL MY MAKEOVER APPOINTMENT AND RESCHEDULE UNDER THE NAME ‘WILL CHAMPION’. DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF, ESPECIALLY MY SCRAPBOOK. I LOVE YOU. XOXO. - CHRIS’ Jonny: “So those marriage crisis rumors are true, then?” Gwyneth: “Of course not, you imbecile. The marriage crisis nonsense is just our bait for the media to bite hook, line, and sinker. I’ll sex Chris up any night, thank you very much.” Guy: “Well, then how may we be of assistance of you this early morning, Don Gwyneth?” Gwyneth: “A number of matters, my useless pretty boy. I have sent a team of private investigators to scope out what is rumored to be a fellow mafia in London. I have enough trouble keeping Chris out of my business, but a nemesis mafia could be far more lethal than anything Chris could ever conjure up in his feeble little mind.” Jonny: “A rival organization, eh? Are they a band of thieves, too?” Gwyneth: “No, stupid. Word has it that this group is more involved with intelligence and uncovering secret data. They call themselves Politik, Inc. As a fellow mob group, we are in just as much danger as any government branch. We must eradicate these scum buckets, no matter who they are.” Guy: “But they are not the only one of our worries?” Gwyneth: “Afraid not. You see, as a criminal organization that specializes mainly in robbing precious artifacts, the idea of murder is not our area of expertise. And yet...in order for Green Eyes, Inc. to thrive, I am organizing an assassination plot.” Jonny: “You mean like that whole Coldplaying Army that I’ve heard about?” Gwyneth: “Of course not. Those ideas are way too cool to actually put into action. Rather…how should I put this…you know how it feels when you display an act of generosity and receive a very ungrateful response?” Gwyneth slides a photograph onto the table. Jonny: “So I see.” Guy: “Excellent. Excellent. How I have waited for this moment of revenge for so long.” Gwyneth: *maniacal cackle* “Oh, and what sweet revenge it will be. Now, Jonny, I must ask a big favor of you to prove your worth to me.” Jonny: “Yes, Don Gwyneth.” As Jonny follows Gwyneth into the back room and begin cackling in a psychotic fashion, the remaining men at the table start cackling the same. Meanwhile, over at Politik, Inc., Don Phil Harvey slides a portfolio from his VIVA tote bag. Phil: “You know the outrageous amount of money I had to spend on this VIVA tote bag at the vending booth? I can’t believe we charge such outrageous prices for our crap!” *silence fills the room* Phil: “Ha, ha, ha, I’m just kidding! We’re totally geniuses for charging so much, considering how those idiots in the stands actually pay it! We could probably charge five bucks for the bathrooms and they’d still cough it up!” Chris: “So what’s the portfolio for, Phil?” Phil: “Gentlemen, we’ve never done anything before that left blood on our hands, but I’m afraid recent developments have left us no choice. We need somebody whacked.” Thom: “Hell yeah! I’ve been fired up for a good stabbing ever since that old lady crossing the street made me late for rehearsal with the boys!” Will: “So who’s the unfortunate bastard we’re gonna kill off?” Chris: “And does it involve Will slapping the asses of other men?” Phil: “You all know that I’m a man of my word. I never backstab anybody and I’m loyal to the people I both work and deal with. But when someone betrays my trust, they will feel my full wrath.” Will: “So what sniveling turkey decided to be a sniveling turkey?” Phil: “Look for yourself.” Phil opens the portfolio for all the men to see. He then promptly shuts it. Chris: “That scumbag!” Thom: “I’ll kill him! I’ll kill him and bury the evidence!” Matthew: “I shall suck his blood dry!” Phil: “Daylight approaches, but as soon as the Sleeping Sun again sets, there will be Trouble for this traitor. Time is ticking for you, Mr. Satriani…” TO BE CONTINUED… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cold_love23 Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 :stunned: OMG! this is seriously amazing! It's so creative and detailed. :wacky: Also Making Gwyneth the head of the other gang was genious! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleBlur Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Haha! Pay back comes Satriani :] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleBlur Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 Alright, here is part three to ----------------------------- Kittens [Part 3] It is a beautiful Sunday morning in the Bakery, the sun is shining and Kitty is laying on the floor asleep. Jonny and Guy charge in getting ready for rehersal... Jonny: I BEAT YOUU! Guy glares at Jonny... Guy: No you didn't... Jonny: Whatever... :shifty: Kitty: Meow. Chris comes into the bakery and picks up the New York Times as he walked in... Chris (laughing): I love kittehs... Kitty (Yawning): Meooowww. Chris: Oh and what have you been doing all night? Have you... Chris walks on into the other ide of the room and starts to laugh... Chris: Taken apart Will's 1000 piece puzzle? Kitty: Meowww... Guy: I'm getting to like this cat. Jonny: Yeah, I never liked cats that much before. Guy: Yeah last time I had a cat it scratched the back of my car seat and made a huge hole that went all the ways through. Will comes in and freezes... Will: Who...touched it... Guy: What if I touched it...? Will gives a glare at Guy... Guy: Well I didn't. Kitty: Meow. Will: Oh well, I don't care. Chris: Ok thats good... Guy: Chris did you do it? Chris: Maybe... Will loks back at Chris and Chris instantly runs down stairs along with Kitty...Guy, Will, and Jonny laugh... Jonny and Guy start playing a couple notes from there heads to get their minds moving along, after all it was 9am... Doorbell: Ding Dong! Ding Dong! Ding Doong Guy: We have a doorbell? Guy walked over to the door and opened it up... Gangster 1: Give us our cat! Guy: What?!?! Gangster 2: If you don't give us our cat we smash jew small man! Guy: B-but we don't have your cat! It can't be your cat! Chris comes in with kitty and throws her at the Gangster, accidently... Chris: Kitty! Nooooooooooooooooo! Will comes to the gangters and beats the crap out of them with a bat... Gangster 1: Bobby! Run for it! As Kitty is scratching up Gangster 1's face. Gangster 2 crawls away from Will... Gangster 1: I'm trying! Gangster 1 and 2 run/crawl for the hell of their lives as Kitty and Will come back into the bakery, scratchless... Chris: Kitty! I knew you would make it! (Hugs kitty, dramatically) Will (sarcasticly): Anytime guys... Guy: I got a new DVD! Will: You got iCarly season 1?!?! Jonny: How did you know? Will: It's Guy what do you expect? Kitty: Meow. Chris: Guy! Your adicted to iCarly! Kitty: Meoowww... Chris: Did you guys know my birthday is tommorow? Guy: Of course, after all we definetley didn't forget last year. Chris: You better not have forgotten what happened last year! Jonny: I told you Chris had allergies to cinnamon! Guy: No you didn't! Jonny: Well if I knew I would have told you! Chris: Just don't let Guy make the cake this year! Will: Yeah... Chris: Please don't let me think of that... I'm suprised I'm almost at 32 with you guys around! ------------------------------------- Alright...there's part 3... Part 4 shall be posted tommorow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleBlur Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 ‘DEAR GWYNNIE AND APPIE AND MOSIE: SOME UNSCHEDULED BUSINESS HAS COME UP AND I WILL NOT BE HOME TONIGHT. GWYNETH, PLEASE CALL ROADIE 42 AND HE WILL COME PICK UP THE KIDS FOR SCHOOL. ALSO, CANCEL MY MAKEOVER APPOINTMENT AND RESCHEDULE UNDER THE NAME ‘WILL CHAMPION’. DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF, ESPECIALLY MY SCRAPBOOK. I LOVE YOU. XOXO. - CHRIS’ haha Im still laughing! :laugh3::lol::D:lol::laugh3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Lestrade Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 ‘DEAR GWYNNIE AND APPIE AND MOSIE: SOME UNSCHEDULED BUSINESS HAS COME UP AND I WILL NOT BE HOME TONIGHT. GWYNETH, PLEASE CALL ROADIE 42 AND HE WILL COME PICK UP THE KIDS FOR SCHOOL. ALSO, CANCEL MY MAKEOVER APPOINTMENT AND RESCHEDULE UNDER THE NAME ‘WILL CHAMPION’. DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF, ESPECIALLY MY SCRAPBOOK. I LOVE YOU. XOXO. - CHRIS’ Bahahaha! :laugh3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MK Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Ooooh this thread is so funny!!! :laugh3: I don't have much time to read it but I liked everything so far! The kitten story totally cracks me up! :lol: I like every single Guy's line, it's great...!!! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobalt Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Updating the list for the first time in a few days, so please do not post any new stories until I've posted that I've finished updating. I couldn't find time to do it on previous days so you're all lucky I found today to allot some time to this (was in the city on Monday and in the city AGAIN yesterday with friends, Saturday and Sunday were very quiet in this thread so didn't expect the sudden boom of fanfics!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobalt Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 List was updated a few hours ago, forgot to mention it here. Sorry about the inconvenience, was just that I had a lotta work to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corkus Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 For the record, Chris's note is my favorite gag in the entire story, so I'm glad that's getting the biggest reaction. The scrapbook bit is up to your imagination, of course (it is implied he has scandalous photos). Chapter 4 will be posted within the next day. Chris comes in with kitty and throws her at the Gangster, accidently... Chris: Kitty! Nooo! Will comes to the gangters and beats the crap out of them!... :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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