Miss Lestrade Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Guy: will someone likes y-. Will: Keep your sassy Chick personality to yourself Guy... I love Guy in this story. He acts so much like a teenage girl (like me)! :laugh3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ceader'schild Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 I WANT TO SEE COLDPLAY :):) hi everyone, i know i shouldn't post this thread here but i thought that if i posted it here i could get a lot of people to see it...and i did so here it is: about a month ago on coldplay.com i saw this: Abu Dhabi show announced:)...and i got really really excited thinking yay coldplay have included the middle east on their world, so what if it's just one show for just one night they might announce more:):):laugh3::laugh3::laugh3: and i started checking 3 times a day thinking i might read one day beirut show announced, a night that lebanon certainly won't forget:stunned:, oh that idea was very very pleasant, it gave me such a big smile on my face...but now i'm certain they will not come to lebanon...everyone thinks it's too dangerous...:cry::cry::cry::cry: please please come to Lebanon the land of culture we really appreciate your music all coldpay fans should get the chance to see you live, at least once sorry about all this sad stuff, i'm a new member here...i love this fan forum:D:kiss: love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vivalicious Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 I LOVE FANFICTIONS !!! they're all hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPsy Posted March 7, 2009 Author Share Posted March 7, 2009 After lots of procrastination/work I have FINALLY got the Final part of 'Will's Secret Diary'! ENJOY! :D Will's Secret Diary Part Six James and Phil have arrived at the bakery... Phil: I've got to tell Chris about what you said about Will! The pair run and bump into....Will! Phil: Will! There you are, what have you been up too? Will: Nothing much!, Bye! Will jumps into James' car and drives off... James: My car! Phil: Just ignore him! He'll bring it back later, let's just get inside! Phil and James run inside the Bakery... Phil: Chris! Jonny! Guy!....We'll save you! There is a loud knocking at the door... James: Ah! I hope it's not my ex-girlfriend! Phil walks over to open the door, It is Will! Will: I'm sorry guys! Phil: Don't worry! I'm sorry too! There is a atmospheric pause as Phil and Will reminise...Chris muffles some words! Phil: Oh right Chris! Jonny and Guy muffle some words also! Phil:....and Jonny! Now lets save them! Phil starts to walk over to Jonny, Guy and Chris Will: Theres something else....a bomb! Phil: A bomb? James is in the corner holding an object... James: A Bomb? James drops the object, there is a loud bang! Muffles from Will saying 'You idiot' can be heard as the bakery collapses! Chris: Somehow the tape came off!...Is everyone alright? Jonny: Guy's dead! There is a pause Will: So...anyone for Pizza? Music can be heard as the camera moves away from the rubble of the bakery THE END Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cold_love23 Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 :stunned: Guy died?!?! :bigcry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corkus Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Wow...that was...somber...:inquisitive: In all brutal honesty, the apparent death of Guy strikes me as sort of an anticlimax, even though it seems to be meant in a humorous sense. Overall, though, I enjoyed the story from start until a few lines from the finish. :D Yes, I'm paying for Wi-Fi in SD. That's how I'm here right now. :laugh3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Lestrade Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Yeah, Simon...it seems like the ending was a bit rushed. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobalt Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 :):) hi everyone, i know i shouldn't post this thread here but i thought that if i posted it here i could get a lot of people to see it...and i did so here it is: about a month ago on coldplay.com i saw this: Abu Dhabi show announced:)...and i got really really excited thinking yay coldplay have included the middle east on their world, so what if it's just one show for just one night they might announce more:):):laugh3::laugh3::laugh3: and i started checking 3 times a day thinking i might read one day beirut show announced, a night that lebanon certainly won't forget:stunned:, oh that idea was very very pleasant, it gave me such a big smile on my face...but now i'm certain they will not come to lebanon...everyone thinks it's too dangerous...:cry::cry::cry::cry: please please come to Lebanon the land of culture we really appreciate your music all coldpay fans should get the chance to see you live, at least once sorry about all this sad stuff, i'm a new member here...i love this fan forum:D:kiss: love Err... did you accidentally press new post instead of new thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobalt Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 After lots of procrastination/work I have FINALLY got the Final part of 'Will's Secret Diary'! ENJOY! :D Will's Secret Diary Part Six James and Phil have arrived at the bakery... Phil: I've got to tell Chris about what you said about Will! The pair run and bump into....Will! Phil: Will! There you are, what have you been up too? Will: Nothing much!, Bye! Will jumps into James' car and drives off... James: My car! Phil: Just ignore him! He'll bring it back later, let's just get inside! Phil and James run inside the Bakery... Phil: Chris! Jonny! Guy!....We'll save you! There is a loud knocking at the door... James: Ah! I hope it's not my ex-girlfriend! Phil walks over to open the door, It is Will! Will: I'm sorry guys! Phil: Don't worry! I'm sorry too! There is a atmospheric pause as Phil and Will reminise...Chris muffles some words! Phil: Oh right Chris! Jonny and Guy muffle some words also! Phil:....and Jonny! Now lets save them! Phil starts to walk over to Jonny, Guy and Chris Will: Theres something else....a bomb! Phil: A bomb? James is in the corner holding an object... James: A Bomb? James drops the object, there is a loud bang! Muffles from Will saying 'You idiot' can be heard as the bakery collapses! Chris: Somehow the tape came off!...Is everyone alright? Jonny: Guy's dead! There is a pause Will: So...anyone for Pizza? Music can be heard as the camera moves away from the rubble of the bakery THE END Bomb = instakill for character. You see it in soaps all the time, as suggested; refrain. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corkus Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Chapter 6 brings us a series of highly unnecessary killings that no mob story is complete without! See, since this is a Coldplay fanfic, all non-Coldplay characters are entirely expendable. Otherwise, this is more of a lengthy and bloody build-up to the climax in Chapter 7. And no, Guy won't die in my story. :lol: COLDFELLAS CHAPTER 6: DEATH AND ALL HIS FRIENDS Rating: PG13 The twelve mobsters are closely huddled around Brian Eno – The Godfather – with their eyes closed and their heads down as the deadly game begins. Brian: “Mafia, please awaken yourselves. Good. Now, without speaking, point at the individual you wish to murder. Uh-huh. You both agree? Excellent. Close your eyes. Now, cops awaken. Point at an individual who you believe is a mafia member. That person, you two say? Sorry, incorrect. Close your eyes. Angel of Light, awaken now. Who do you believe will be killed and wish to save? Yes, gotcha. All right, head back down. The sun has risen. Everyone may now awaken.” Both organizations’ members lift their heads and stare at each other nervously. Everybody knows they each have a one-in-twelve chance of being killed by Brian Eno’s so-called “sexy” knife. Brian: “So what poor bastard is getting the axe, you say? Well, as your sly narrator, I shall guide you through the events of the night.” No one dares mutter a word, for fear that it will provoke somebody else. Brian: “I am speaking to you, my victim, about your fateful night, which started IN RAINBOWS but ended LIKE SPINNING PLATES dicing through your neck. Back in college, when you were considered KID A, one of your peers sent you a VIDEOTAPE vowing revenge by joining the KARMA POLICE. While CLIMBING UP THE WALLS of your HOUSE OF CARDS that you locked your SCATTERBRAIN self out of, you are impaled on a trellis as it pierces your chest like KNIVES OUT.” Before anybody can bat an eyelid, a dagger is suddenly jutting out of Thom Yorke’s throat. Having sliced the mafia’s unfortunate victim at ninja speed, Brian Eno stands in the middle laughing. Everyone else is flabbergasted, staring in vacant disbelief at the dying lead singer of Radiohead. Chris: “How…how…is this…real?” Brian: “Oh, it’s very real, Chris. Believe it. It seems the mafia has taken their first victim of the night – a talented singer/assassin who made Pitchfork Media orgasm on the spot. Now, who would kill a fool like this? It is now your job to vote upon who you believe could do such a thing, who will be killed at the end of the round. Mr. Flowers, please start.” Brandon: “Gee, it’s certainly not Chris. After all, Chris turns into a sweaty monkey who specializes in kissing ass whenever Thom Yorke is mentioned. I’m voting Tom Chaplin. After all, he’s a pirate.” Edge: “Well, I think the ass-kissing detail is heightened evidence that Chris is the murderer. After all, that ass-kissing could have just been a shield all these years to deceive people. I vote Chris Martin.” Will: “I’m also voting Chris. That guy has been riding my coattails about metro sexual nonsense for days and is probably only keeping me alive so that he can force me to wear stupid clothes.” Chris: “They’re not stupid, Will! I’m tired of being the band’s main focus! Heck, the reason you aren’t agreeing to do it is probably because you’re a closet murderer! My vote goes to Will.” Jonny: “Nobody’s looking at the big picture here. I suspect Gary Lightbody, just because he’s been so useless this entire story and is overdue to do something exciting. Even Guy’s been more useful.” Guy: “Say what? That asshole! Nobody is allowed to be more useless than me! Nobody! Voting Gary.” Phil: “No doubt Gwyneth Paltrow is quite bitter over our mob’s existence as a whole, so she’s slowly killing off our members. She’s one of the murderers.” Gwyneth: “But it would be typical of a heartless soul like you, Phil, to kill off one of your own. I say Phil.” The remaining individuals quibble amongst each other and spout off random names. Each of them whisper their vote into Brian Eno’s ear, who calculates the results using his mighty brain. Brian: “I have tallied your votes, people. You have spoken, and somebody will now be killed off accordingly.” The eleven remaining individuals once again freeze up, awaiting Brian’s narration. Brian: “You thought you could RUN from it all and MAKE THIS GO ON FOREVER. But one night while CHASING CARS, a passerby decides to CRACK THE SHUTTERS and pull you in. With your HANDS OPEN, you are cuffed and blindfolded, making you SHUT YOUR EYES. The car’s ENGINES suddenly stop, and you are hurled into a den of starving chimpanzees who show you HOW TO BE DEAD.” Gary: “YAAAAAAHHH!” Gary Lightbody, with a deep lesion shredding across his entire stomach, collapses backwards and bleeds profusely. Brian smirks evilly, while the remaining ten individuals are suddenly more speechless than ever. Brian: “I really do hope Grey’s Anatomy has a proper tribute to Snow Patrol.” Will: “Suddenly, I’m second-guessing this whole mob business.” Brian: “It’s too late for that, Will. Nevertheless, another night has fallen, so eyes closed. Mafia, you may look at me. Who do you wish to murder this time? Yes, mmm hmm, so I see. Close your eyes. Cops, your turn to arise. Who do you believe is a mafia member? So you think? Sorry, no dice. Heads down. Angel of Light, now your turn. Who do you wish to have the chance to save? Affirmative. Close your eyes again. It’s sunrise, so everyone may face the wrath of day.” Everyone has now descended into a state of silent prayer, hoping God will have mercy on them. Brian: “Things have taken an interesting turn, as it seems one of our precious cops is about to be whacked.” Both “cops” begin sweating so that they become totally immobile. Brian: “Twas a BEAUTIFUL DAY that turned into a dreadful night, as while walking WHERE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME, you suddenly feel NUMB. You are overcome by a sense of VERTIGO as you tiptoe through the CITY OF BLINDING LIGHTS. You hear a gun POP, but only for ONE split second as your head is pierced like THE UNFORGETTABLE FIRE. As your consciousness blurs and can no longer BREATHE, you see NO LINE ON THE HORIZON. Indeed, it truly is a SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY.” The Edge attempts to stand up and bolt upon hearing the hints of his coming death, but is too late, as just as he starts to lift himself from the ground, a searing pain in his back freezes him dead in his tracks. Brian: “It was a good thirty years, friend. U2 won’t be ever the same, but I survive, With or Without You.” Jonny: “Holy shit, fellas. What would you think of just calling a truce while we still can?” Brian: “Too late, Mr. Buckland. The news will be all over London by morning, and only the best can go on. Now, I do believe it’s time for another round of voting off the biggest suspect. Mr. Chaplin, you may begin.” Tom: “Arrr, about time, matey! Aye ain’t say anythin’ fer several chapters now! Avast, methinks we should toss Matthew Bellamy overboard, or at least make ‘im walk the plank and feed ‘im to the sharks! A ninja be a pirate’s worst enemy! Arrggh!” Matthew: “I’m not a ninja! I’m a vampire!” Tom: “Yarr, me eye-patch be obscuring me judgment. But the vote still stands!” Brandon: “I second that notion.” Gwyneth: “Having one of my own men killed by the mafia may make Phil seem less manipulative, but I can’t help but suspect that he’s merely trying to dethrone Guy as Coldplay’s most handsome member. Phil again.” Phil: “A grudge match, eh, bitch? Well, two can play at that game! Put me down for Gwyneth!” Chris: “On second thought, I think Will secretly wants to put on those sexuality-questionable clothes. It’s denial. He could never be a cold-blooded killer. Jonny Buckland, on the other hand, stabs every heart in sight.” Jonny: “Oh no, not this garbage again, Chris.” Gwyneth: “Honey, I know we’re sworn mafia rivals bent on killing each other, but do you not love me too?” Chris: “Oh, how you turn me on, dear. For by finding you, I have been able to forget about all the misery that Jonny caused me in the past! My vote now goes to Jonny!” Jonny: “Very well. Just to help level the playing field, I’m pinning it on you, Chris.” Will: “Secretly want to come out like that? Well, Chris, I now quite openly think you’re an insane killer.” Guy: “I vote for myself. I’d rather see myself killed than put up with their three-way man-love garbage!” Will: “It’s not three ways, damn it! I don’t even want to be part of Chris’s retarded fantasy!” Matthew: “A second vote for Guy. Somebody as good-looking as him doesn’t deserve to suffer through this.” Brian: “Well, it seems we have a three-way tie between Matthew Bellamy, Chris Martin, and Guy Berryman. I have a King, a Queen, and a Jack in my hand. Each of you three must pick a card at random, show it only to me but not look at it yourselves, and place it back in my pocket.” Chris, Guy, and Matthew do just that, selecting a card and then immediately giving it back to Brian. Brian: “You chose the King, and your fate is as follows: Upon your search for meaning and ABSOLUTION, you discover a SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE while studying the ORIGIN OF SYMMETRY. Your head starts spinning like BUTTERFLIES & HURRICANES as you are sucked in with your HYSTERIA. You scream for the KNIGHTS OF CYDONIA to come save you, but to no avail as you are swallowed into STARLIGHT.” And instantaneously, Matthew Bellamy lays impaled on a blade. Chris: “First off, where do you keep getting all these knives, Brian? Second, HOLY SHIT!” Brian: “Trembling yet, folks? Really, that’s what he gets for keeping Muse’s fans in such suspense over their next album. That’s both cops gone, folks! There will be two more killings in this final round, and then we’ll have six survivors to form the ultimate mafia! If you’ve come this far, why stop now? The fun’s just starting!” Phil: “Look, I’m thankful as anyone to still be alive, but even I am scared shitless right now.” Brian: “What’s the matter, Phil? Don’t have the guts to continue your business? That’s fine, I guess. We’ll have to kill you, of course, but there’s no rule saying you have to stay.” Phil stays seated and gives Brian a very uncomfortable look of approval. Brian: “Very well. Heads down, please. Mafia, eyes open and select your victims. Really? Are you sure? Fascinating! Very well, eyes closed again. The cops are dead, so Angel of Light, please lift your head. Who do you wish to save? Are you entirely sure? 100 percent positive? Okay, I understand. Everybody, wake up now.” The eight remaining mobsters listen sharply and nervously, not even caring about one another anymore. Brian: “A potential game-changer here, folks. Are you ready? Brian uncomfortably pauses for a brief moment before beginning his narration. Brian: “It came in the dead of night, whirling at the SPEED OF SOUND…” TO BE CONTINUED… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleBlur Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Chapter 6 brings us a series of highly unnecessary killings that no mob story is complete without! See, since this is a Coldplay fanfic, all non-Coldplay characters are entirely expendable. Otherwise, this is more of a lengthy and bloody build-up to the climax in Chapter 7. And no, Guy won't die in my story. :lol: COLDFELLAS CHAPTER 6: DEATH AND ALL HIS FRIENDS Rating: PG13 The twelve mobsters are closely huddled around Brian Eno – The Godfather – with their eyes closed and their heads down as the deadly game begins. Brian: “Mafia, please awaken yourselves. Good. Now, without speaking, point at the individual you wish to murder. Uh-huh. You both agree? Excellent. Close your eyes. Now, cops awaken. Point at an individual who you believe is a mafia member. That person, you two say? Sorry, incorrect. Close your eyes. Angel of Light, awaken now. Who do you believe will be killed and wish to save? Yes, gotcha. All right, head back down. The sun has risen. Everyone may now awaken.” Both organizations’ members lift their heads and stare at each other nervously. Everybody knows they each have a one-in-twelve chance of being killed by Brian Eno’s so-called “sexy” knife. Brian: “So what poor bastard is getting the axe, you say? Well, as your sly narrator, I shall guide you through the events of the night.” No one dares mutter a word, for fear that it will provoke somebody else. Brian: “I am speaking to you, my victim, about your fateful night, which started IN RAINBOWS but ended LIKE SPINNING PLATES dicing through your neck. Back in college, when you were considered KID A, one of your peers sent you a VIDEOTAPE vowing revenge by joining the KARMA POLICE. While CLIMBING UP THE WALLS of your HOUSE OF CARDS that you locked your SCATTERBRAIN self out of, you are impaled on a trellis as it pierces your chest like KNIVES OUT.” Before anybody can bat an eyelid, a dagger is suddenly jutting out of Thom Yorke’s throat. Having sliced the mafia’s unfortunate victim at ninja speed, Brian Eno stands in the middle laughing. Everyone else is flabbergasted, staring in vacant disbelief at the dying lead singer of Radiohead. Chris: “How…how…is this…real?” Brian: “Oh, it’s very real, Chris. Believe it. It seems the mafia has taken their first victim of the night – a talented singer/assassin who made Pitchfork Media orgasm on the spot. Now, who would kill a fool like this? It is now your job to vote upon who you believe could do such a thing, who will be killed at the end of the round. Mr. Flowers, please start.” Brandon: “Gee, it’s certainly not Chris. After all, Chris turns into a sweaty monkey who specializes in kissing ass whenever Thom Yorke is mentioned. I’m voting Tom Chaplin. After all, he’s a pirate.” Edge: “Well, I think the ass-kissing detail is heightened evidence that Chris is the murderer. After all, that ass-kissing could have just been a shield all these years to deceive people. I vote Chris Martin.” Will: “I’m also voting Chris. That guy has been riding my coattails about metro sexual nonsense for days and is probably only keeping me alive so that he can force me to wear stupid clothes.” Chris: “They’re not stupid, Will! I’m tired of being the band’s main focus! Heck, the reason you aren’t agreeing to do it is probably because you’re a closet murderer! My vote goes to Will.” Jonny: “Nobody’s looking at the big picture here. I suspect Gary Lightbody, just because he’s been so useless this entire story and is overdue to do something exciting. Even Guy’s been more useful.” Guy: “Say what? That asshole! Nobody is allowed to be more useless than me! Nobody! Voting Gary.” Phil: “No doubt Gwyneth Paltrow is quite bitter over our mob’s existence as a whole, so she’s slowly killing off our members. She’s one of the murderers.” Gwyneth: “But it would be typical of a heartless soul like you, Phil, to kill off one of your own. I say Phil.” The remaining individuals quibble amongst each other and spout off random names. Each of them whisper their vote into Brian Eno’s ear, who calculates the results using his mighty brain. Brian: “I have tallied your votes, people. You have spoken, and somebody will now be killed off accordingly.” The eleven remaining individuals once again freeze up, awaiting Brian’s narration. Brian: “You thought you could RUN from it all and MAKE THIS GO ON FOREVER. But one night while CHASING CARS, a passerby decides to CRACK THE SHUTTERS and pull you in. With your HANDS OPEN, you are cuffed and blindfolded, making you SHUT YOUR EYES. The car’s ENGINES suddenly stop, and you are hurled into a den of starving chimpanzees who show you HOW TO BE DEAD.” Gary: “YAAAAAAHHH!” Gary Lightbody, with a deep lesion shredding across his entire stomach, collapses backwards and bleeds profusely. Brian smirks evilly, while the remaining ten individuals are suddenly more speechless than ever. Brian: “I really do hope Grey’s Anatomy has a proper tribute to Snow Patrol.” Will: “Suddenly, I’m second-guessing this whole mob business.” Brian: “It’s too late for that, Will. Nevertheless, another night has fallen, so eyes closed. Mafia, you may look at me. Who do you wish to murder this time? Yes, mmm hmm, so I see. Close your eyes. Cops, your turn to arise. Who do you believe is a mafia member? So you think? Sorry, no dice. Heads down. Angel of Light, now your turn. Who do you wish to have the chance to save? Affirmative. Close your eyes again. It’s sunrise, so everyone may face the wrath of day.” Everyone has now descended into a state of silent prayer, hoping God will have mercy on them. Brian: “Things have taken an interesting turn, as it seems one of our precious cops is about to be whacked.” Both “cops” begin sweating so that they become totally immobile. Brian: “Twas a BEAUTIFUL DAY that turned into a dreadful night, as while walking WHERE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME, you suddenly feel NUMB. You are overcome by a sense of VERTIGO as you tiptoe through the CITY OF BLINDING LIGHTS. You hear a gun POP, but only for ONE split second as your head is pierced like THE UNFORGETTABLE FIRE. As your consciousness blurs and can no longer BREATHE, you see NO LINE ON THE HORIZON. Indeed, it truly is a SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY.” The Edge attempts to stand up and bolt upon hearing the hints of his coming death, but is too late, as just as he starts to lift himself from the ground, a searing pain in his back freezes him dead in his tracks. Brian: “It was a good thirty years, friend. U2 won’t be ever the same, but I survive, With or Without You.” Jonny: “Holy shit, fellas. What would you think of just calling a truce while we still can?” Brian: “Too late, Mr. Buckland. The news will be all over London by morning, and only the best can go on. Now, I do believe it’s time for another round of voting off the biggest suspect. Mr. Chaplin, you may begin.” Tom: “Arrr, about time, matey! Aye ain’t say anythin’ fer several chapters now! Avast, methinks we should toss Matthew Bellamy overboard, or at least make ‘im walk the plank and feed ‘im to the sharks! A ninja be a pirate’s worst enemy! Arrggh!” Matthew: “I’m not a ninja! I’m a vampire!” Tom: “Yarr, me eye-patch be obscuring me judgment. But the vote still stands!” Brandon: “I second that notion.” Gwyneth: “Having one of my own men killed by the mafia may make Phil seem less manipulative, but I can’t help but suspect that he’s merely trying to dethrone Guy as Coldplay’s most handsome member. Phil again.” Phil: “A grudge match, eh, bitch? Well, two can play at that game! Put me down for Gwyneth!” Chris: “On second thought, I think Will secretly wants to put on those sexuality-questionable clothes. It’s denial. He could never be a cold-blooded killer. Jonny Buckland, on the other hand, stabs every heart in sight.” Jonny: “Oh no, not this garbage again, Chris.” Gwyneth: “Honey, I know we’re sworn mafia rivals bent on killing each other, but do you not love me too?” Chris: “Oh, how you turn me on, dear. For by finding you, I have been able to forget about all the misery that Jonny caused me in the past! My vote now goes to Jonny!” Jonny: “Very well. Just to help level the playing field, I’m pinning it on you, Chris.” Will: “Secretly want to come out like that? Well, Chris, I now quite openly think you’re an insane killer.” Guy: “I vote for myself. I’d rather see myself killed than put up with their three-way man-love garbage!” Will: “It’s not three ways, damn it! I don’t even want to be part of Chris’s retarded fantasy!” Matthew: “A second vote for Guy. Somebody as good-looking as him doesn’t deserve to suffer through this.” Brian: “Well, it seems we have a three-way tie between Matthew Bellamy, Chris Martin, and Guy Berryman. I have a King, a Queen, and a Jack in my hand. Each of you three must pick a card at random, show it only to me but not look at it yourselves, and place it back in my pocket.” Chris, Guy, and Matthew do just that, selecting a card and then immediately giving it back to Brian. Brian: “You chose the King, and your fate is as follows: Upon your search for meaning and ABSOLUTION, you discover a SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE while studying the ORIGIN OF SYMMETRY. Your head starts spinning like BUTTERFLIES & HURRICANES as you are sucked in with your HYSTERIA. You scream for the KNIGHTS OF CYDONIA to come save you, but to no avail as you are swallowed into STARLIGHT.” And instantaneously, Matthew Bellamy lays impaled on a blade. Chris: “First off, where do you keep getting all these knives, Brian? Second, HOLY SHIT!” Brian: “Trembling yet, folks? Really, that’s what he gets for keeping Muse’s fans in such suspense over their next album. That’s both cops gone, folks! There will be two more killings in this final round, and then we’ll have six survivors to form the ultimate mafia! If you’ve come this far, why stop now? The fun’s just starting!” Phil: “Look, I’m thankful as anyone to still be alive, but even I am scared shitless right now.” Brian: “What’s the matter, Phil? Don’t have the guts to continue your business? That’s fine, I guess. We’ll have to kill you, of course, but there’s no rule saying you have to stay.” Phil stays seated and gives Brian a very uncomfortable look of approval. Brian: “Very well. Heads down, please. Mafia, eyes open and select your victims. Really? Are you sure? Fascinating! Very well, eyes closed again. The cops are dead, so Angel of Light, please lift your head. Who do you wish to save? Are you entirely sure? 100 percent positive? Okay, I understand. Everybody, wake up now.” The eight remaining mobsters listen sharply and nervously, not even caring about one another anymore. Brian: “A potential game-changer here, folks. Are you ready? Brian uncomfortably pauses for a brief moment before beginning his narration. Brian: “It came in the dead of night, whirling at the SPEED OF SOUND…” TO BE CONTINUED… Pheww... Good thing Phil, Jonny, Chris or Guy didnt die yet... or will...:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Well Guy wont die any how... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPsy Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 Yeah, Simon...it seems like the ending was a bit rushed. :P To be honest...so do I! And I really apologise! I have got a sort of reason though! :lol: I was half way through it and the power went off and i had hardly any battery on my laptop and i couldn't charge it because there was no power so I finished it as quickly as possible! I tried to make it the best though! The death of Guy, yes, was meant to be humourous and just a little comic relief ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleBlur Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Here is the final part to Kittens... ------------------------------ Kittens [Part 8] Guy: We really didn't want it to end this way Chris. Jonny: We REALLy didn't want it to end this way. Chris: What are you guys trying to say? Guy (about to say something): there's onl-. Will: Not the right time Guy. Jonny: Kitty... Will: She must move on with out us. Chris: B-but why? Guy: Don't you understand Chris? She's a small Kitty with a beating heart that can't handle being the pet of a big star. Will: It will be hard for both you and her but it's only the way things should be. Chris: Kitty... is this what you really want? Kitty: Meow. Chris: If it's gong to make Kitty happy then I'll do it. Jonny: We think we should put her up for adoption. Will: It would be the best option. Chris: I guess this is what needs to happen... Chris pulls into an adoption center. He thinks of all the good things he had done with kitty. Beating the crap out of gangsters. And a couple other moments he can think of. Such good times. employee: How can we be of service? Chris: We have this cat and we can't handle it any longer. Kitty: Meow. Chris (face turns red, eyes water, throat cracks up, hugs Kitty): I'm going to miss you so much. Jonny: It's alright Chris. Kitty (tear streams down face): Meow. Guy: *sigh* Will: This is sad. Guy: Will, It's just a cat. Will: No I mean for Chris. He's going to miss Kitty for a very long time. Chris (breaking into tears): I'm going to miss you. Kitty (big eyed): Meow. ---------------- Ending credits: None ---------------------- The end... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Lestrade Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Guy: “Say what? That asshole! Nobody is allowed to be more useless than me! Nobody! Voting Gary.” Hahaha. Me like. :P Kittens [Part 8] I really loved your story! It was so cute. :nice: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cold_love23 Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Lovers in Japan[/color][/u] It jumps a little (time wise) so if anyone is confused just let me know. Rating: PG-13 I finished off my second iced tea, and put my glass back down on the table. I glanced at my cell phone again. 2:37. He was now almost 40 minutes late. The waiter came by and took away my glass. He asked if I wanted another drink, and I started to think that maybe something a little stronger than an iced tea would help to pass the time. I ordered a beer, and then looked at my phone again. Maybe he had forgotten the name of the place that we were supposed to meet. The waiter had just placed my drink down, and I decided that there was no point in waiting. I picked it up and started to take huge gulps. Then over the rim of my glass, I saw him walk into the restaurant. He was tall, slim, and slightly tanned with brilliant blue eyes and an excitedly nervous jitter about him. Yeah, that was Chris Martin. “Finally!” I thought to myself. I saw him scan each table quickly, when his eyes finally locked with mine and he walked over to the small table that I was seated at. “So… I see you’ve started drinking without me!” he said through a broad smile, as he slid into the booth. His expression changed to one of fear before he said “Wait, you are from Rolling Stone… right? Here to interview me?” “Oh yeah don’t worry, you’ve got the right person.” I reassured him. He sighed and went back to smiling. “I’m Charlotte, nice to meet you.” I extended my hand across the table. “I’m Chris, nice to meet you too” I always found it funny when I interviewed a celebrity and they introduced themselves as if I didn’t already know who they were. “I’m so sorry that I’m late, I was with playing with my kids and completely lost track of time. I don’t get to see them a lot with the tour, so whenever I’m home all I do is spend time with them” “It’s fine, really.. you’re not that late. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to have to leave them.” I knew from my days and days of research that he didn’t like talking about his family, so I quickly changed the subject. “So.. Are you ready for this? It’s going to be epic. 9 hours over 4 meetings. A huge feature.” “Haha, I’m never ready for huge features. I don’t really like to talk about myself” He said. “Don’t worry, it will be fun!!” I winked at him and picked up my beer again. _____________________________________________________________________ 90 minutes, and quite a few drinks later and we were still there. “I like the way you’re doing uhh conducting this..,” He said, already slurring his words. “It doesn’t even feel like an interview. Just like a conversation.” “Good,” I said “that means I’m doing my job.” Chris finished off his whiskey and handed the empty glass to the waiter who in turn handed him the check. “So when’s the next time we do this? Ya know, the next bit of the interview?” he asked while signing the check. “Hmm, Well you’re going to Japan tomorrow. And I think you’ll be there for a week.. Right? So in 8 days.. I am meeting you and the rest of the band at your studio… the bakery.” “8 days?” His eyes opened wide “No… that’s too long. Too far away from now.” He stopped talking for a minute and sat back, he seemed to be brainstorming something. Finally he jolted forward. “Hey I’ve got a good idea.. Have you ever been to Japan?” He asked excitedly. “Umm yeah, I went once to interview David Bowie in some fancy hotel in Tokyo.. But I only got to stay for one night and didn’t really get to see much.. Why?” I asked curiously. “How about you come with us! Come to Japan, and we can do the interview there with everyone. It will be fun!” I had heard about this. Chris Martin coming up with these absurd ideas of “kidnapping” journalists and bringing them all around the world on tour with him. This could actually be fun. A week in Tokyo with the biggest band in the world? Sure why not! “I’d love to,” I finally said “But I can’t just pick up and go.. I’d have to check with my editor first. I’ll need 8 days off from work and I need someone to cover a piece I was supposed to start writing this week. Hmm, let me make a call.” I picked up my cell phone and dialed my boss’ number. She was always nice and reasonable and I knew that it probably wouldn’t be a problem. I explained it all to her and she cleared me for the 8 days off, and told me to have fun. “Okay,” I said after snapping my phone closed “Let’s go to Japan!” __________________________________________________________________________ My eyes open slowly and I’m staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. I blink a few times before looking around at the rest of the room. It’s sleek and modern with gray walls, white lamps and the bed that I’m in is over flowing with cream colored blankets and pillows. Then suddenly I shoot straight up in bed, and the events of the previous evening race through my head. I peek under the sheets, and sure enough there is nothing under there but me. The nightstand table has an empty bottle of vodka on it, and two glasses. I see my dress on the floor by the window, my bra is hanging off the edge of a chair. I sit up further and reach for his shirt. It’s at the end of the bed, and I grab it quickly and throw it on. I get up and walk over to the huge floor to ceiling windows and stare at the skyscrapers surrounding me. Tokyo is breathtaking at 5 in the morning. The hotel suite is small, barely even a suite at all. Just a bedroom with an attached bathroom. I hear the shower turn on and I quickly turn around to face the bathroom. Just as I do, the door opens. Chris is standing there, wearing nothing but a broad grin. “I’m going to take a shower.. Would you like to join me?” __________________________________________________________________________ 72 hours earlier I pack up the last of my bags and bring them down to the waiting car. Chris was nice enough to organize a car to come pick me up. The whole way there I can’t help but get lost in my thoughts. Holy shit, I’m going to Tokyo with Coldplay!! I think to myself. I wonder what they’ll all be like. I wonder if Guy drinks as much as I’ve heard he does. Ohh I’ll get drunk with him, that will be fun! I finally arrive at the airport and the car drives straight onto the runway and pulls up in front of the stairs to a small private jet. I get out and am greeted by a man who tells me that he‘s part of Coldplay‘s team. “Hi I’m Phil, nice to meet you. I understand you’ll be traveling with us for a while.” “Umm, yes Hi… I’m Charlotte. Nice to meet you” I say nervously. This guy’s killer smile has me flustered. He assures me that my bags will be taken care of and leads me up the couple of stairs and onto the plane. He tells me to sit anywhere I like, and I chose a row in the middle of the plane. One by one the members of their massive entourage start to arrive. Assistants, tour managers, and then finally the band themselves. First Will arrives. Phil introduces me. Will seems lovely, maybe a little tired but still very nice. He talks to me for a minute or two and then goes directly to the last row of the plane and busies himself with his laptop. Then Jonny arrives. He’s absolutely charming, so sweet and friendly. He takes a seat a few rows ahead of me. Guy shows up and immediately introduces himself. He asks if he can sit next to me, and of course I say yes. Chris is the last to arrive but he sits down and talks on his phone for a while before saying anything to anyone. He finally comes over and says hello to me. “So,” he says “Are you glad that you came?” “Absolutely!!” I can’t help but smile. This is going to be unforgettable. Part 2 of Lovers in Japan I feel something nudging my elbow, and I slowly wake up. I lift up my sleeping mask and look to my left to find the source of the movement. There is no sign of Guy, instead I see Chris leaning over me, wide eyed and smiling. “Are we there already?” I ask sleepily. “Nope not for another 6 hours. I was just coming to ask if you wanted to watch a movie with me.” he patiently waits for my response. “Um sure, what are you watching?” I ask. “Well that’s the problem, I only brought one. Back to the Future, and I’ve already watched it two and half times. Did you bring any movies with you?” he asks, eyeing my carry-on bag. “Yeah I brought a whole bunch.” I lift my bag from between my feet and balance it on my knees. “Hmm lets see, I brought ‘The Shining’, ‘Closer’, ‘The Departed’ … ‘Match Point’.” “Oh a Woody Allen Movie!” he almost screams it. “Yes, lets watch Match Point.” I take out my laptop and we decide to use headphones out of consideration for the people sleeping in the rows around us. Half way through the movie, I start to nod off again and my head keeps drifting further and further to the left until finally I’m resting on Chris’ shoulder. He doesn’t seem to mind and I find it comforting to feel his strong arm underneath me. Slowly I fall back to sleep. _____________________________________________ “Hmm okay go get me a little Jack Daniels one!” I tell Guy. This new game that we have invented is fun. It doesn’t really have a name but it basically involves going to the back of the plane and stealing the tiny bottles of alcohol that are back there. He obeys and brings it back to me with a sneaky expression on his face. We share it and then it’s my turn to do the stealing. “Hmm,” Guy says thinking hard “Bring me a tiny bottle of Jameson!!” I tiptoe to the back of the plane and rummage through the flight attendants cart. The great thing about traveling with a big band like this is that they rent out their own private planes, so they come with all of the good stuff like alcohol but you don’t get any of the annoying stuff like flight attendants. Soon both Guy and I are pretty tipsy, but it’s just as well because Franksy their tour manager announces that we will be landing in 20 minutes. After the plane lands, Guy and I grab our carry on bags and stumble to the front of the plane. 4 black vans are waiting on the runway and we climb into the vans and soon we are traveling through the busy streets of Tokyo. After 10 minutes we arrive at our hotel. The hotel is gorgeous, modern and clean and I’m so grateful that Chris has organized for me to come along. I get up to my room, throw my luggage in the corner and climb into the huge inviting bed. It’s 9 am and the band are performing in 12 hours. I decided to catch up on some sleep and I’m sure that Coldplay & Co. are all doing the same thing. ___________________________________________ It’s 8:00 pm and I’ve just finished talking to Jonny backstage at the arena that they are about to perform at. Jonny leaves me in the “Coldplay Family & Friends Room” and goes back to the dressing room to get ready for the show. I turn off my recorder and take my notebook out of my bag. Jonny just gave me some great stuff and I decide to jot down a couple of notes. As I’m writing, Chris walks in. He sees that I’m working and quickly says “Oh sorry, am I bothering you?” “No, not at all,” I say while closing my notebook “What’s up?” “Nothing much, was just looking over tonight’s setlist.” He takes a seat on the couch next to me. “Oh cool!” I nod “Anything special planned for tonight?” “Nope” he shakes his head “Just the regular setlist. “Why, what were you expecting?” “Hmm I don’t know. Shiver is my favorite song.. Do you guys ever play that?” I ask hopefully. “No, we don’t…But-” Half way through his sentence he is interrupted by a knock at the door. Phil appears in the doorway. “Showtime Chris, let’s go.” He waves him out. “I’ll see you after the show Charlotte” Chris says as he walks out. _____________________________________________ It’s 9:30, the show is about 15 minutes in, and they are playing their big hit from this album “Viva La Vida.” It’s honestly electric. I watch each of the band members and it looks so natural to all of them. To just be on stage and perform, it’s where they belong. The rest of the show is amazing, although the Japanese audience is a bit quiet, it doesn’t seem to phase the guys one bit. It’s nearing the end and they have just finished their encore. I gather my stuff and get ready to go back stage, when suddenly I stop. Chris has motioned Guy and Jonny to follow him over to Will, and they are all huddled around the drums. Then Chris walks back to the front of the stage and speaks. “Alright, we haven’t played this one in a while but we’re going to give it a go… Sorry if it’s shit.” The band starts up the song and I realize that it’s Shiver! My jaw drops and I’m rooted to my spot. The song ends too quickly and I’m left there smiling like an idiot. ____________________________________________ I slide the tape recorder closer to Will so that it can pick up everything that he’s saying. “So you don’t think too much about the future of the band then?” I ask him. “No, you can’t really do that. If you think too much about it then you get caught up in worrying about it all, and planning everything out. Like ‘Oh we have to have an album out by this date, and we have to be touring by this date.’ Getting our own studio this time round really gave us a lot of freedom. Of course we’d like to be able to do this for as long as possible, but right now we’re just enjoying it all day by day.” He finishes answering and starts rubbing his eyes. He looks exhausted. “I’m sorry, am I keeping you up? You look tired.” I ask him. “What’s the time?” He asks. I take out my cell phone. “Holy shit, it’s 2:50.” “Yeah,” he says “I should probably get to bed.” He puts his beer down and stands up from the bar. “Okay, thanks Will. Good night” “No problem, yeah I’ll see you tomorrow Charlotte.” He walks over to the elevators, and I look around the hotel bar. It’s deserted and I decide that I should probably head to my room as well. It’s been a very long day. I got up and start walking towards the elevator. I’m on my way out of the hotel bar when I look to my left and see an amazing balcony overlooking the city. The bar is on the top floor of the hotel, and along with it there is an observation deck. I decide to go out quickly and take a look at the beautiful city. I step out through the large glass doors onto a long patio that stretches the length of the whole 25th floor. The warm air hits me and I breath it in. There are small lights everywhere and glass patio tables and chairs. Instead of taking a seat, I go over to the edge of the balcony and lean against the railing. I stand there for a few minutes just looking at the lights, and cars and amazingly tall buildings. Then suddenly I hear a voice behind me and I jump. “Mind if I join you?” I turn around. It’s Chris. _____________________________________________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In a telescope lens Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Ahhh lauren that's so good!!!!! I really really love it!!!!! I have to resort to my iPod and that made me so happy! It's awesome!! Great job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prospekt. Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Ohhhh this is so good. Great job. Can't wait for LIJ part 3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bear Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 oohh, i love it:heart: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corkus Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Aww...kitty goes bye-bye! :\ Don't worry, I use 4th wall stuff all the time to dodge blatant plot holes and whatnot. :lol: (If you really are considering a sequel, I'd honestly advise against it. Keep it cute as it is! :) ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobalt Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I hath updated archiveth~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldplay_is_louve. Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 i love this thread. :D! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Lestrade Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 I know...this thread is one of the best! :laugh3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corkus Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Chapter 7, a.k.a. "How Many Coldplay Song Names Can I Fit Into a Single Sentence?" This is also pretty much the climax of the story. COLDFELLAS CHAPTER 7: DEATH WILL NEVER CONQUER Rating: PG13 Speed of Sound. Upon hearing the mention of those very words that happen to match the title of one of their hit songs, Chris, Will, Jonny, Guy, and even Phil suddenly get goose bumps. Hairs standing straight up, each of the five men gets a sinking feeling in their gut, knowing that one of them is on the verge of death. They all look at one another with anguish, all with the right mind to flee and face the police. Brian continues… Brian: “…SPEED OF SOUND, as you live LIFE IN TECHNICOLOR with SPARKS of joy while you dance the STRAWBERRY SWING. But a WARNING SIGN approaches at HIGH SPEED in the hours before DAYLIGHT. To be precise, in the form of POSTCARDS FROM FAR AWAY that had arrived at your bakery. Setting down your GLASS OF WATER, you pick up a YELLOW postcard from AMSTERDAM…” Gwyneth: “Run, boys!” The Coldplay members look at Gwyneth, as if shocked to some sudden realization. Gwyneth: “One of you is about to be killed!” Brian: “You dare interrupt me, Ms. Paltrow? Or do you wish to volunteer yourself for a whacking?” Chris: “Settle down, love. Just trust me.” Brian: “May I continue? Thank you.” Gwyneth sighs nervously and frustratingly. Brian: “…from AMSTERDAM with a picture of the SLEEPING SUN. Suddenly, you have A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD as you become LOST in the picture’s TWISTED LOGIC. Your head starts spinning IN MY PLACE like you just watched the video for LOVERS IN JAPAN a whole 42 times. You hear A WHISPER, almost A MESSAGE, if you will. As you become SWALLOWED IN THE SEA…” Gwyneth continues to make hand gestures encouraging Chris and the boys to vacate immediately. All of them are sitting anxiously for doomsday to tick down for them, though Chris specifically seems almost completely focused on Brian Eno’s every word muttered. Chris: *whispering to self* “Trust me, love. Trust me, all of you.” Guy: *also whispering* “Hey God, if I die, please make my corpse as handsome in death as I was in life.” Brian: “…SWALLOWED IN THE SEA, your conscious mind suddenly CLOCKS out as a pair of GREEN EYES guides you to the POPPYFIELDS of VIOLET HILL, doomed TIL KINGDOM COME. But there is no one here to TALK or FIX YOU. Suddenly, a dark figure of TROUBLE – rather A GHOST of DEATH AND ALL HIS FRIENDS – rises from the WHITE SHADOWS and ironically mutters…’VIVA LA VIDA....for yours ends now…my sweet guitarist prince.’…” Chris: “JJJOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!” With one fell swoop, Chris dives into Jonny and knocks him out of the way. A blade goes flying across the lot. Jonny is totally unscathed, but Chris has a deep and lengthy cut across his arm, which he struggles to hold up as he gasps for breath. Chris: “Jonny…Jonny…” Brian: “You have made a grave mistake, Mr. Martin. This treason against I – The Godfather – is reprehensible. There was no point in rescuing him, as while you may have moved out of my knife’s way, I am afraid you now must both suffer my rage.” Jonny: *ignoring Brian* “Chris…but why? Why did you do it?” Chris: “I…I don’t know…I just had to.” Brian: “The game is settled. The rest of us will form a new, unstoppable mafia while the two of you are left for the dogs. It’s a deep shame, but you cannot trust even your closest friends in this business.” Chris: “You have forgotten, Brian, that I held the Joker, meaning that I am the Angel of Light! I have the power to save an individual who I believe is in danger of being whacked!” Brian: “Bullshit. All three times I asked you who you wished to save, you pointed to Will Champion.” Chris: “Well…uh…that’s just because Will isn’t allowed to die until he becomes a flamboyant drumstick-wielding maniac in a hula skirt.” Will: “So you’re saying that as long as I never do it, I am immortal?” Chris: “That’s right. So you’d better do it if you don’t want to live for eternity as a bald prune like Brian Eno.” Guy: “Can we bail yet? The sun is about to rise and I hear police sirens growing louder.” Chris: “You would say that, wouldn’t you? If I may, I have figured out who the murderers are.” Brian: “Very well, Chris. Do have the honor of pointing out the murderers before you are likewise murdered.” Chris: “First off – Gwyneth Paltrow! None other than my own wife!” Gwyneth: “Are you mad, dearie? I would never break your heart like that!” Chris: “Maybe not, wifey, which is why you encouraged us to leave immediately. But you secretly still wanted to whack somebody who did break my heart! You and your double standards, you selfish croon, as you instinctively feared all along that I was still attached to…my past. Somebody you feared was still tempting me from snuggling so very hardcore with you every night!” Will: “So the truth comes out!” Jonny: “Thank you for coming forward like that, Chris. That’s all I wanted. If it makes you feel any better…” Chris: “Shut up, Jonny. I saved you, so why aren’t you on the floor right now quite literally kissing my ass?” Gwyneth: “Very shrewd, love. Almost makes me more attracted to you. Still, your explanation makes very little sense. I only tried killing Jonny because I felt it was important for you to come forward like that. I still love you, sexy. You’d take a knife for me also, right?” Chris: “Depends on the knife. Butter? Sure, why not.” Guy: “I’m serious, I think I now hear helicopters. Let’s bail already!” Chris: “Eager to leave so quickly, Guy? That’s something you would certainly expect to hear from…the other murderer!” Guy: “Chris, stop your nonsense. I’m far too good-looking to be put behind bars.” Chris: “And that’s precisely why you’re a killer! All these years, you pretended to be useless. Your sole purpose for being in our band was to get ladies to fill seats in the audience, but that just wasn’t good enough for you, was it? You wanted more! You were working the angles all these years so that you could each of us off and eventually become your own one-man band! You slime bucket, Mr. Berryman.” Guy: “Actually, I just happened to get handed one of the Aces. And Gwyneth was the one who chose each victim. The only reason I listened to her is because – quite frankly – your wife scares the shit out of me.” Jonny: “No offense, Chris, but those might seriously be the stupidest murder mystery explanations I’ve ever heard, and I’ve watched some really crappy black-and-white murder films.” Brian: “SILENCE! The time for killing is now!” Suddenly, a series of blinding lights cover the area as a dozen police cars pull into the parking lot and surround everyone. An officer steps out of the car, holding a gun and a megaphone in each hand. Officer: “Everyone, freeze! You all have the right to remain…umm…what’s the word…oh yeah! Silent!” Phil: “Oh, fuck.” Brian: “At last you’ve arrived, officers. Just look at the bloodshed these criminals caused!” Officer: “Shut up, Eno. We’ve been following you for 60 years. And I assume these are your accomplices?” Gwyneth: “Any genius plan now, Chrissy?” Chris glances carefully at the lead officer and suddenly raises an eyebrow. Chris: “Liam Gallagher? Is that you?” Officer: “…Chris Martiwhatever? The moody fag from Coldplay? And look, it’s the rest of your faggy band! What the hell are you all doing with the mafia?” Will: “Umm…we were…kidnapped. Yeah.” Brian: “Traitors! I am your Godfather! I will send my goons for you!” Officer Liam: “Ha ha, yeah right. Coldplay is for fags and pansies and men without hoo-hahs. They could never pull off a good song, much less a brutal crime or series of killings!” Jonny: “He’s right! We’re such talentless queers! Unlike him! We could never be from homicidal, rival underground mob organizations! That’s only for cool people!” Guy: “Yeah, I so wish I had talent! All I have are my good looks.” Brian: “Don’t listen to them, officer! They’ve been working the insides for years, plotting London’s black markets and most mysterious killings! Both Mr. Flowers and Mr. Chaplin here can confirm it!” Brandon: “It’s as true as Captain Picard being better than Captain Kirk!” Tom: “Arrgh, aye would drop an anchor in their lagoon ‘n’ throw ‘em in the galley!” Officer Liam: “You guys are funny. You three gentlemen are under arrest! As for you Coldplay fucks and that skank, whatever her name is, get the hell out of here. The sight of you sickens me.” Chris: “Yeah, but she’s my skank, officer! Let’s head back to the bakery, gang.” The police all handcuff Brian Eno, Brandon Flowers, and Tom Chaplin, leading them into the back of one of the vans. Chris, Gwyneth, and the rest of Coldplay drive over to the bakery in the meantime. TO BE CONTINUED… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Lestrade Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Chapter 7, a.k.a. "How Many Coldplay Song Names Can I Fit Into a Single Sentence?" This is also pretty much the climax of the story. YAY! I was really getting nervous for a second...but I think it turned out okay! :D What could possibly happen next, I wonder? :uhoh2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimpleBlur Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Aww...kitty goes bye-bye! :\ Don't worry, I use 4th wall stuff all the time to dodge blatant plot holes and whatnot. :lol: (If you really are considering a sequel, I'd honestly advise against it. Keep it cute as it is! :) ) I never thought about that...:\ maybe a new story would be nice?... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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