March 20, 200917 yr I am in the process of de-friending people on Facebook, as well as setting my privacy setting to the minimum and keeping personal info (i.e. address, email, phone, work info, relationship status) completely OUT. So far, you cannot find my profile by searching my name on Facebook nor on Google (mind you, there's another girl with my name, but that is not me). I am classifying people on my friend list so that I can sent privacy setting differently for those who are under "close friends" from "family members" or "classmates." It happened after a guy who worked at the dentist's office found me on Facebook days after I talked to him while waiting for the anesthesia to work. I was trying to kill time since I had nothing to read and had forgotten my iPod at home. When he send the friend request, I accepted because I didn't think at the moment that it was a big deal; I thought he would add me, and then never write to me since most of my Facebook friend don't write to me unless I write to them. He send me messages about wanting to "hang out" or "text me" with the most hideous grammar you could expect, as in "h r u?" or any other slang I don't understand, and much less use. Since bad grammar is a big turn-off for me, there was no way I wanted to be friends in real life with this person. I barely keep up with my real friends. I am very inconsistent friend, who likes those to befriend people who don't mind if you don't call them everyday or send them an email, or go out with every week. Also, I am trying to simplify my life because I need to work on my undergraduate thesis and apply to grad schools, which means I don't want to make new friends. Apparently, he is new to Facebook, no wonder he doesn't understand that being friends in Facebook is not the same as being friends in real life. Yet how can he not understand this when he obviously uses MySpace (he asked me if I had a MySpace account on the first message). the first two times, I said that I didn't have MySpace, and that I was not even on Facebook often. The third time, when he asked if I "text," I freaked out so much I ended up talking to a psychologist about what to do and to the receptionist at the dental office. The receptionist talked to him (I called right before lunch time) about how he had to stop immediately, and that what he did was completely unprofessional. He could get fired for this because he was using information that is confidential. I solved this in one day, but I waited two days before de-friending him on Facebook. I have been feeling anxious about him being mad at me or something like that, but now I realize I did what I had to do. He was not taking the hints about me being busy, or not having text messaging or MySpace (ewww, I hate this site, have never joined). On the reply to his third message, I wrote: "Thanks, but I am not interested in any relationship. Bye" He has not bothered me since, and I won't be going back to that dentist's office. I called them yesterday to have my dental history record to be mailed under my mom's name because I don't want that guy knowing my address. Yeah, I know, I sound like a total paranoid, yet I believe I have the right of picking my friends, and to tell someone that I don't want to be his friend or to "hang out" with him. Seriously, what's up with guys thinking you like them just because you chat with him once? Gosh, I was talking about football and my sister being a pre-med student, I wasn't asking him personal questions, nor was I telling him my personal stuff. I have been mortified since I sent him the last reply, I even thought he was gonna come to my house and harm me in some way. BUT now that I write this, I realize that I should NOT care if he was hurt by my rejection. If he's a grown up, he should just move on.
March 20, 200917 yr I get freaked right out when I'm at a party or event or something, then before I'm even home I have a facebook friend invite. I usually reject them right away, especially if I didn't talk to them. I also have a couple friend lists and routinely go through facebook deleting people I don't want on my list.
March 20, 200917 yr Author You are so right!! Don't worry I am just as paranoid. Hehehe :D See, you get it! It probably came as a shock to him, he's used to being open and such BUT some of us are not like that. I mean, you want to be my friend after just ONE conversation. There are people I have talked to randomly at random place, yet I never sought them after online or in real life to be their friends :rolleyes:
March 20, 200917 yr I had to de-friend a guy once too. He knew me from playing music around town, so I thought it wouldn't hurt to add him. As soon as I did, he started sending me really creepy sex apps...not the cutsie ones. I looked at his profile and saw that all his friends were women, and all his apps were pervy. (I don't mind some of them, but it was icky that that's ALL he had on his profile.) I didn't even send a good-bye message, and even though I usually fear offending people, I had no regrets about him. You put yourself out there for the world to see, and that's risky. You HAVE to go with your guy if you're not sure about someone. I don't post any really personal info on facebook. My address on there is a fake, and there's nothing about my finances. Someone just de-friended me! I'm not sure why or who, since I'm not a stalker, and I don't send every annoying app I see to people, but like you said, we're grown-ups here, and it was their right to drop me for whatever reason they chose. Your troll will just have to deal like an adult. You definitely did the right thing if your instinct about him was that strong.:)
March 20, 200917 yr Author I get freaked right out when I'm at a party or event or something, then before I'm even home I have a facebook friend invite. I usually reject them right away, especially if I didn't talk to them. I also have a couple friend lists and routinely go through facebook deleting people I don't want on my list. Actually, some people say that deleting people from their Facebook list is theraupetic. Even my brother, who is a people's person, he recently deleted a lot of his 400 friends, arguing that he rather have less, but friend he sees and do stuff with on a daily/weekly basis, people you care about. SO annoying, I remember I used to have privacy settings very private. People could not find me one searches, then I decided to loosen a bit last year. BAD IDEA. I would get 1 friend invite almost every day, sometimes from people that I don't know or I don't like (even worse, from relative that I don't like :P)
March 20, 200917 yr What creeps me out is when I remove a friend then they try to re-add me soon after. Thats when I add them to the block list. Also working with children means that I get alot of kids trying to add me, which I do not like.
March 20, 200917 yr Author Stalker alert!!:stunned: that guy is mad :sick: Yes and yes! I never really knew if he wanted to date me or just be my friend "Hang out" is a very ambiguous term And I'm sorry, but I cannot understand you slang, dude (it was a pain to read the private messages he send me) Whereas I replied as I always write, as neatly and grammatically correct as possible. How he couldn't see that I am such a snob, and that we have nothing in common? My friends are quite different from each other, yet they are well-educated, well-versed, and passionate about what they do. Most important, they don't write nor speak in slang (major pet peeve)
March 21, 200917 yr He'll get over it. De-friending someone on Facebook, of all things, is not a big deal. Don't feel bad - if you don't want to be his freind you should just go your seperate ways. That's how the world functions. :shrug:
March 21, 200917 yr It's always sort of awkward when someone you don't really know, or only just met adds you. From work, there are people who I'm not really fond of, and people I don't really talk to but they choose add me as a friend anyway. It's like, I don't ever talk to you AT work, so what makes you think I really want to talk to you outside of work?
March 21, 200917 yr Author He'll get over it. De-friending someone on Facebook, of all things, is not a big deal. Don't feel bad - if you don't want to be his freind you should just go your seperate ways. That's how the world functions. :shrug: By de-friending him on Facebook and stopping being a patient at the dental office, it became clear to him that I am not interested in him, not even as a friend, and that he scared the heck out of me :dozey:
March 21, 200917 yr After reading this, I don't really think you had much choice other than to do what you did. Creepers like that should be dealt with swiftly.
March 22, 200917 yr Ahh, so i'm not the only one then with similar thoughts! On another forum, I got in touch with a guy who works in Radio... As i'm wanting to become an Announcer/DJ On Air kinda thing. Although he added me on Facebook... i've just got him sitting in that friends request lol. I ain't hitting the Accept button! I just don't want to accept. It is scary though, and I do understand what your talking about.
March 22, 200917 yr Author He'll get over it. De-friending someone on Facebook, of all things, is not a big deal. Don't feel bad - if you don't want to be his freind you should just go your seperate ways. That's how the world functions. :shrug: Usually, when I don't want to be friends with someone, I either ignore them (on Facebook or on real life) and move on thinking it's not a big deal. I think this time I freaked out at the tought of him liking me (yuck! :sick:). He's not my type AT ALL, and he thinking that I was attracted to him because I talked to him and was nice (just as I am with everybody), is just ridiculous :laugh3: Seriously, it happens that some guys think you like them if you're nice to them. I mean, WTF!!??? Are YOU gonna think a person likes you or is interested in you because she or he is being nice to you? Good Lord, your self-esteem is sky high, but you're an ass (in my opinion). Either way, even if he just wanted to be my friend, why was he so agressive in his pursuit? Doesn't he know friendships take time to build? what's with this notion of "Fast-friends"? I hate MySpace, but now I hate Facebook too. It makes friendships so trivial. Look at how this guy thought that by being friends on Facebook after talking to me ONCE we would become buddies/pals/BFFs :rolleyes: Besides, he was a dental assistant, while I was a client/customer. Befriending this person, even on Facebook, is weird. Same thing with befriending your mechanic, or the supermarket cashier, or your co-workers, or your teacher/ Teacher's assistants, or your butcher.
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