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Secret's, Lies & Lust XIII




"Thank god!, The locksmith is here!" Marcus said. Will turned around to see a small, fat man, limping up the drive with a toolbox in hand.

"Hey, thank you for coming at such short notice!" Will said, smiling. The locksmith did not smile back.

"What's the problem then?" the locksmith asked, with a blank expression.

"Umm, could you get these handcuff's off?" Marcus asked, winking.

"Yes, but it'll cost ya!" the locksmith said, ignoring Marcus' wink.

"How much do you want?" Will asked.

"Two!" the locksmith said. "Hundred! Two hundred!"

"Two hundred? Are you kidding?" Will said, in shock.

"No, I never kid! Two hundred!" the locksmith replied. Will sighed as he reached for his wallet.

"Okay, here's two hundred!" Will said, passing the man the money.

The locksmith reached for a massive pair of cutters out of his toolbox, walked towards Marcus, cut him free and walked off.

"Well he was jolly?" Will laughed.

"I'm free! And thanks, Will, you've helped a lot!" Marcus replied. "I'll pay you back!"

"Well pay me back by staying the hell away from Gwyneth!" Will exclaimed, walking down the drive.

"Dude, what's your problem?" Marcus asked, throwing his arms out in front of him.

"My problem is that Gwyneth doesn't want you or Chris or even Guy! She want's me!"


"Guy, Guy? Can you hear me?" Gwyneth asked, quietly moving beside Guy's bed and stroking his hair. Guy opened his eyes and smiled at her.

"Umm, Nurse, would you mind if you left me alone with Guy for a few minutes? Gwyneth asked. "Please"

"Well okay, but I will be right outside if you need me!" The nurse said, walking out of the room.

"So, Guy, how are you doing?" Gwyneth asked, still stroking his hair.

"I'm, I'm, good!" Guy said, weakly, trying to keep his eyes open.

"We're going to get married next week, arn't we?" Gwyneth said, smiling. "Here, I brought you some grapes!"

"Thanks and about the wed-"

"Shh!" Gwyneth interrupted, "Save your energy!"

"I'm doing okay!" Guy said, gently moving his hand to hold Gwyneth's.

"Is there anything you want me to do for you?" Gwyneth asked, stroking his hand.

"I'd like to see Apple!" Guy muttered, coughing as he uttered the last syllable.

"Apple, yes, sure, when do you want to see her?" Gwyneth asked.

"Before I die!"



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Finding My Sunshine (Part 7, 7.5)





(Part 7)


Chris's PoV


I stood by the hotel room door and knocked gently on it. I waited a little longer and a minute or two passed by. I knocked once more, "Hold on!" a reassuring voice said from the inside. When the door had opened I saw Jonny wearing a pair of tan pants with a black belt, a black button up shirt, and a top it all off a tie. Oh yes, and don't forget his hat.


"Jonny, whats going on?" I asked.


"I'm getting ready." He answered as I walked back into the hotel room as I followed him in. Then he faced me. "How do I look?" he asked as he adjusted his tie and looked in the dresser's mirror.


"You look dashing man," I grinned and I placed my hand on his shoulder, "but where are you going?" I already knew, just by how he dressed, but I asked him anyways. And he already told me and then I freaked out about it, but I freak out about lots of different things so I don't really find it to unusual.


"I have that date tonight, remember?" he reminded me. "Did I not tell you?" Jon asked.


"You did, I just wanted to ask anyways." I said and we both chuckled."And the lucky girl is?" I asked him anyways. He chuckled to himslef.


"After how much you wacked out, I think you would still remember." He grinned at me, probally looking back at how I teased him for asking her out on a date.


"What time do you have to meet her?"


"By about 6 o' clock at her room." He picked up a couple ties and looked at the one he already had on. "which tie?" He asked. "The green, blue, or the red one I have on?" I thought for a second. "Or should I not wear a tie?"


"The green one," I answered. "It's her favorite color. And it matches your hat better." I told him.


"Alright," he said. "I couldn't remember if her favorite was blue or green."




(Part 7.5)

Jonny's PoV


I took one last look at my clothing, just to make sure every thing was in propper placement. I knocked on her hotel room door gently and waited for an answer. I heard light foot steps come towards the door and then it opened up. It was none other than Ms.Carla Wakefield. She had on thin silver hoop earings, a white three-quarter sleeve button up, a black mini skirt and a pair of black dress shoes. I kissed her lightly on her cheek.


"Jonny," She started, "You look fantastic!" I looked down at my green tie and white button up. "I love your tie."


"Thank-you, you look gorgeous."


"Thank-you, Jonny." She replied. I could see her start to blush.


"Shall we get going?" I asked holding both of her hands in mine. They were so warm and gentle, I just didn't want to let go, ever.


"Of course." She said looking deep into my eyes.


Both of us had managed to take the elavator down to the ground level and exit the building and afetrwards we started walking down the started walk down the sidewalk. "Where are we going?" She asked me as


"You'll see." I said, leaving her curious of where I was taking her.




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I'm Starting a new FanFic! :dance: A FanFic revoloving around Jonny!


If Only You Knew





"I Just don't think I should have a new girlfriend so soon after Chloe!" Jonny said, holding onto his neck as a sign of unease.

"What are you Gay, Jonny? I know a ton of girls, fit ones, that would do anything for a date with you!" Guy said, nudging Jonny as he jumped next to Guy, Will and Chris on sofa.

Phil entered the room, phone in hand. "That was Anna! My sister's friend, and guess what Jonny? You've got a date tonight!" Phil said, throwing his arms out in front of him.

"Woohoo! High Five man!" Guy said, putting his hand up, hoping to get a reply from Jonny, except he just sat, ignoring it. "Look, what's the matter man, Anna's fit, I've seen her, man!"

"What would Chloe think?" Jonny said, reaching for the television remote.

"Chloe was cheating on you man! I'm sorry to say it but I don't think that she will care one bit!" Will said, taking the television remote from Jonny and turning the programme over to Extreme Death

"Fine! Fine! I'll go on the date but only to shut you lot up!" Jonny said, secretly pleased that he could get his own back on his ex.




"Can't you do anything right?" Screamed Anna, throwing a vase at Jonny. Jonny quickly moved out of the way.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Jonny replied, falling to floor, begging for forgiveness.

"How dare you forget my birthday!" Anna shouted throwing a book at Jonny. "Now get up you wierdo!"

Anna moved in and kissed Jonny.

"I'm staying at my sister's! I'll be back tommorow!" Anna shouted, throwing another book as Jonny as she walked out the front door. Jonny stood up, kicked the front door, and walked up stairs leaving the mess that his soon to be wife made.




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If Only You Knew





"What an amazing first date, Anna! You are truly a wonderful woman!" Jonny said, opening the passengers door for his car. "In you go!" Jonny said, smiling as Anna entered the car into the passengers seat.

Jonny turned round and met with a man with a knife. "Woah man! Watch where you are going with a knife!" Jonny said, jumping back. "I'm here to steal your car!" replied the man, holding up his knife.

"Not bloody likely!" Anna shouted after creeping behind the man. Anna kicked the man knocking the knife out of the man's hand and onto the ground.

"Now are you going to leave my boyfriend alone?" Anna asked, raising her eyebrows as the man ran off.

"Woah, Anna, how did you do that?" Jonny asked, standing forward.

"What can I say? I'm a tough woman!" she replied, winking and getting back into the passenger's seat.




The door opened, Jonny ran towards it. It was Anna.

"Anna! You're back! You'd said you'd be back in the morning, that was a month ago!" Jonny said, grabbing his girlfriend.

"Alright, love?" she said, chewing gum and pushing Jonny away.

"What have you been doing then, I thought you had left me!" Jonny said, smiling.

"And why would I do that?" Anna asked, helping herself to a pack of crisps. "Hey, Jonny boy, I've got us a date for the wedding!"

"Ooh, have you?" Jonny asked.

"Yep, tommorow! So scrub up nice!, I'm off again now, I'll see you at 2pm tommorow at the Church down the road!" Anna said, walking out the door.



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Open Up Your Eyes

Chapter 6





It was Sunday.


The first thing Chris heard was the sound of rain falling and hitting the ground. He knew it was bound to get worse.


The whole day was dragging on and his impatience was visible. To him, it seemed like time was playing a joke on him. He felt excited and jittery and the three phone calls he received made him tense up in anticipation. Every time he answered the phone, it was not the person he wanted to hear. But he kept repeating to himself “Pull yourself together and stay cool.”


He wished there was sun outside so he could run at the park. He needed to feel liberated, he needed to let all his tension and anxiety out.


Ever since he got that letter, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He memorized every single word. The only regret he had was waiting for so long. But then again, maybe it was just a matter of timing. This was the best moment and he was glad Guy made him reveal his love for him. He knew the bassist was worth every single second he had to endure, keeping his secret safe from the rest of them.


There was a knock on his door and he opened it to see Will looking back at him.


“I have a favor to ask you.” Will said, immediately.


“Hello to you too!” Chris said, as he closed the door behind him.


“I need you to babysit the kids for me. Marianne and I wanted to spend the evening alone since it’s our anniversary. She asked one of her friends but at the last minute she couldn’t come, her grandmother’s sick or something.” Will rambled, in a hurry. “So, can you do it? Please?”


“I’m sorry, I have plans, man.”


“What plans?”


“A… date kind of thing.” He said, nervously.


“A date? I can’t remember the last time you had a date, mate. Well, then, okay, that’s good for you. I think I’ll ask Guy, then.”


“Uh, Guy can’t do it.”


“Why not?” He asked, surprised.


“He’s got a date tonight, too.”


“Oh, okay. How do you know?”


“He wrote to me.”


“Guy sent you a letter to say that he has a date tonight?!”


“No, not like that, through the thing… the cell phone stuff, with the message deal.” He explained, babbling along the way.


“Okay.” Will said, unconvincingly. He looked at Chris, staring at him, trying to make eye contact with him, but the singer avoided it at all costs. He knew he was not a good liar and if there was one person that could detect it, it would be Will.


“Why don’t you ask Jonny?” He suggested, trying to change the subject.


“Sure, I’ll do that.” Will, said, turning to leave. “Are you alright, man? You’re kind of trembling.”


“I’m just nervous about this date.” Chris answered, truthfully.


“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Just don’t worry too much. All you have to do is show up and be nice. The rest is up to the universe.”


“Thanks.” Chris smiled at his friend. He wanted to tell him everything. But he decided he should wait. First, he had to meet Guy, then the others would know, in due time.


For the seventeenth time that day Chris looked at his watch. It was finally time to go.

He grabbed his car keys and left his home. The roads were filled with water, the rain as grueling as it was during the whole day. But in his mind, it was the perfect weather. It reminded him of the romantic scenes he had seen in many movies.


He was so caught up in his daydreaming that he never noticed the swaying car that came in his direction from the other side of the road. It was all moving in slow motion in his head, once he saw the erratic car move towards his own. The last thing he saw was the face of the person he longed for more than anything else in the world. The person he desperately needed to be with.


Then, everything was black.





The lamp Guy was standing beneath shone on his head, illuminating his body and the rain that soaked him mercilessly.


He had been standing there for hours. He arrived in the middle of the afternoon and ever since all he felt was the pouring rain penetrating not only his body but his mind as well. It seemed like the weather was an indication of what today would mean for him. Either absolute bliss or complete devastation.


As the hours passed lazily and light turned into dark, he could only envision one scenario. He could see Chris running towards him, his eyes wide and his mouth turned in a happy smile.


He looked at his watch. 10 pm. Something was wrong. Chris was always late but never this late. Maybe it’s traffic. Maybe he didn’t find the place, he was terrible at remembering where things were located. Maybe he got caught up by someone.


Maybe he is not coming at all.


The realization that there was a possibility of Chris not wanting to act on his feelings made Guy feel his chest tighten and his throat close up. He had been so optimistic about this that he didn’t consider the fact that maybe Chris’s love was meant to be a secret and not something tangible. He looked to the horizon, barely distinguishable at this time of the night.


He’s not coming.


There was nothing more he could do now. He opened his heart to him. It was up to Chris to take it or break it. And judging by this night, he had his answer. He closed his eyes and felt the rain wash over him, taking the last ounce of hope and excitement he had with it. This is what he was used to. Feeling numb, cold, detached.


He sat there for two more hours until he decided it was to time to give up and let go.




Somewhere, on the side of a road, Chris lay unconscious surrounded by the bright lights of ambulances, paramedics rushing to his side.




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Put A Smile Upon Your Face

Part 4




Chris was at the store. He needed to do a bit of grocery shopping. Jonny was with him. Ever since that one night, Jonny felt the need to be around Chris as much as possible. Chris thought it was unnecessary, but there was no way to convince Jonny of it. He didn't mind so much, though, as Jonny was his best friend and it was nice to know that someone cared about him.


"You don't have to be here, you know," Chris told Jonny as they were walking down the cereal isle.


"I just want to make sure that nothing happens to you," Jonny replied.


"It was only the one time, Jonny. You don't have to worry."


"Just because it only happened once doesn't mean it wont happen again."


"Fine," Chris said, grabbing a box off the shelf and placing it into the basket he was holding.


"Oh no," Jonny said.


"What?" Chris asked, turning to him.


"Uh, I have to pee, like, super bad. If I run to the bathroom real quick, do you think you'll be OK?"


"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just go."


"You sure?"


"Yes, Jon. Now go before you wet yourself."


"I'll be right back," Jonny said as he quickly walked in the direction of the restrooms.


Chris continued with his shopping. He had gone through three isles, picking up boxes and cans here and there. As he went to walk down another isle, someone stopped him.


"Excuse me, sir!" a woman shouted from behind him. Chris turned around. She was about six inches shorter than he was, and she had long, wavy, brown hair.




"Are you Chris Martin?" she politely asked.




"Wow. I can't believe you're right in front of me... shopping," she said, looking at the basket. "Oh, I'm sorry to bother you."


"It's all right."


"This is gonna sound a bit weird," she said, taking a step closer, "but I actually received a bit of your mail the other day."




"Yeah. I guess we live in the same building. Who knew?"


"Oh, that's cool."


"I can give it back to you later, if you like."


"Sounds good."


"OK, well," she started, turning her head to look over to her left, "It was nice to meet you." She looked back at Chris, but he wasn't there.


He was back at the lake. It was even clearer now. Chris was still sitting on the grass. He looked down at the ground and found a rock laying beside him. A sudden surge of anger coursed through his body, and he picked up the rock and chucked it into the lake. The rock collided with the water's surface, causing a huge ripple.


"Hey, don't do that," a voice said. He turned to see the woman from the store. Well, not the exact same woman, but she looked similar. Same wavy hair, same height. "You'll scare the fish."


"Who are you?"


"Does it matter?"


"Where are we?"


"You're on the floor." Her tone changed from relaxed to frightened. "Why are you on the floor? Get up."




"Come on, you can get up now!" She walked over to Chris and held his face in her hand. As he looked into her eyes, the background of the lake scene faded into the ceiling tile and florescent lights of the grocery store. He blinked slowly, trying to regain his strength.


"Uh," he grunted.


"Oh, good. Um, are you OK?" she asked.


"Yeah. It, uh... it happens sometimes."


"Oh. Why?"


"I'm not too sure. Where's Jonny?"




"My friend. He was supposed to be back-"


"Chris!" Jonny shouted, running over to his friend. "I told you it could happen again."


"Yeah, I know. Help me get up." Jonny grabbed Chris' hand, placing his other arm under Chris' back. Slowly, they worked together to get Chris to sit up. The first trance he was in was nothing like the second. He seemed to be almost completely drained of energy this time. He could only imagine what the third would be like, assuming there would be a third time.


There was a third one.



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All was quiet in the Bakery. Jonny was reading a new novel, and Guy was tweeting on his laptop.


“I’m bored,” Chris moaned, curled up on the couch.


No one bothered to look up.


“I’M BORED,” he repeated, fidgeting to cross his arms over his chest.


Jonny’s green eyes peered up from over his book. “And…?”


“I’m bored AND I don’t know what to do.”


Guy rolled his eyes and continued typing away.


Suddenly the door flew open, Will stepping inside with a huge cardboard box in his arms. “I have a surprise!” he exclaimed.


“PRESENTS!” Chris jumped up and snatched the box. “Gimme gimme gimme!” He opened it. “What’s this?”


Inside was a bunch of rags, bags, and bottles.


“Cleaning supplies?” Chris pouted. “What are we going to do with cleaning supplies?”


“Clean,” Will grinned. “Look around! This place is a mess.”


Chris glanced around the room, his eyes scanning the boxes and immense heaps of random crap everywhere.


Jon looked up. “He’s right, you know.” He got up and grabbed a bag.


“But where do we start?” Chris frowned.


“We can start by getting rid of all this stuff.” Will walked over to one of the cardboard boxes and opened it. Inside was a ton of novelty hats. “Like these. Jon, you should take these home.”


Jonny greedily took the box. “I’ve been looking for these…”


“Is Guy going to help?” Chris moaned.


Will sighed. “Guy, you helping?”


“Eh…” he mindlessly tapped his fingers at the keyboard.


“We can go to the pub after…”


Guy sat up. “Promise?”




“Cross your heart?”


“And hope to die,” Will laughed.


“Okay then.” Guy closed up his laptop.


The boys began sifting through all the boxes and piles when…


“This is boring,” Chris stood and stretched. “We need music or something.”


“Okay.” Jonny stepped over to the radio. “What station?”


“STATION 4!” Chris immediately answered.


Jon scrolled to Station 4.


And welcome back,” the announcer spoke, “to your favorite Spice Girls station. All Spice Girls, all the time.”


“They have a station dedicated to the Spice Girls?” Will looked up.


Jonny shrugged. “Chris, do we have to?”


There was a sudden humming sound coming from the opposite side of the room. The three boys looked to find Guy dancing and mumbling along to “Spice up your Life”.


“See…” Chris grinned and stepped closer to the bassist. “Guy likes the Spice Girls, too!” He started singing the song loudly, and Guy willingly joined in.


Will and Jon just shook their heads and went back to cleaning.


By the end of the day, the Bakery was neat and tidy, and everyone had plenty of boxes to take home. Will and Guy were putting theirs in their cars.


“One last drawer…” Chris sighed, opening up a cabinet drawer halfway. “Hey! There’s that chocolate bar I lost last week!”


He reached in to grab it, but was having a most difficult time pulling it out. “Come on…” Then he screamed.


“What the-“ Jonny turned to find Chris holding one end of a chocolate bar, a large rat dangling from the other. “CHRIS, DROP THE CANDY BAR!!”


“But I want candy!”




“Fine!” Chris let go of the candy, watching as the rat tugged it out the door. The two heard a faint scream from the hallway.


“What now?” Jon rushed to the door, finding Guy backed against the wall and Will holding the rat up by its tail.


He tossed it out a nearby open window. “It’s just a rodent…”


Guy’s eyes widened. “Does that mean we’re done?”


“ALL DONE!” Chris bounced into the hallway.


“I’m guessing that’s a yes,” Jonny grinned.


“TO THE PUB!” Guy sprinted down the hall, his index finger raised high in the air. Moments later Guy screamed.


The others looked out the window, laughing when they found Guy pointing at the rat, which sat on top of his car.



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Okay, so this is the last one. The medical talk is pure invention, I have no knowledge in that area (apart from watching ER and Grey's Anatomy but I don't believe that counts). Also, I hope you enjoy and if you don't, I'm sorry to disappoint.


Open Up Your Eyes

Chapter 7





Guy looked frantically around him as he rushed into the emergency room.


As soon as he got home, he checked his answering machine. Jonny’s voice filled the dark apartment and Guy didn’t even change from his dampened clothes. He sprinted out of the door, running all the way to the hospital.


Chris was in an accident. Oh God. An accident. That’s why he didn’t come. And now he’s hurt on some hospital bed.


Guy could barely see where he was going. The rain and his tears blurred his vision as he ran through the empty streets. He never realized how he got there, he simply kept moving as fast as he could.


Will, Jonny and Phil were already there. Waiting for the doctors to come.


“What happened?” Guy asked, his eyes reflecting his concern.


“Well, the police told us Chris was driving and another driver lost control of his car because of this rain and then the car swerved and… hit Chris’s car.” Phil answered him, his face serious and his voice breaking as he spoke.


“He said he was going on a date.” Will said, sniffling a little, his face turned in the direction of the hall. Chris was inside one of those rooms. He just wanted to be there with him. “For the first time in I don’t even know how long he had a date and now, this happens.”


Guy looked as if Will had stabbed him. They didn’t know it was “their” date. They didn’t know Guy was the reason Chris had been driving in the first place. He was the one that suggested that beach, knowing that Chris would have to drive to get there. He could have gone to Chris’s place instead, to talk, to be with him. They could have postponed. They waited so long already. One more day wouldn’t make a difference. But now, this day made a difference.


He had stopped listening to what his friends were saying. He just stood there looking ahead at nothing in particular, his gaze unfocused and blurry due to the salty tears that kept streaming down his face.


“Are you okay, man? You’re very pale.” Jonny asked him, worriedly. “Your clothes are soaked.” He observed.


Guy looked down at his clothes, slowly moving his head down and kept it in that position for a while until Jonny’s voice interrupted him from his thoughts again.


“Where were you, by the way? We tried to call your cell but there was no sign.”


“Dead battery.” He mumbled.


“Well, then where were you?” Will pressed the issue.


“I was out, I was… I-” Two doctors approached them, interrupting Guy.


“Are you here for Mr. Martin?” One of the doctors questioned.


“Yes, we’re his family.” Jonny lied. Actually, it didn’t feel like a lie to them.


“Well, it seems he was driving and another vehicle crashed into his. He has a couple of ribs broken, some internal bleeding in his abdominal area, as well as a fractured arm. There was no serious brain damage, fortunately, but he suffered a mild concussion from the impact. But he’s receiving medication for that and in a few weeks, he’ll be as good as new.”


Suddenly, it seemed like a dark cloud evaporated from their heads.


Everything is going to be fine. Chris will be fine.


“Can we see him?” Guy asked, hurriedly.


“Yes, you can but he’s sedated so he might not be very responsive.” The other doctor informed them.


The doctors turned around and led them to his recovery room. Then they went their own way, leaving the four men outside, about to enter the room.


They slowly approached Chris’s bed.


He looked so fragile with bruises marking his face, his blue eyes closed and a frown etched on his face. They noticed his injured arm. He would be mad when he woke, not being able to play his guitar. He could play piano easily with one hand but the guitar…


Guy and Jonny stood on his right side, while Will and Phil were across from them. They waited in silence for something to happen. But they knew he was on pain medication so it could take a while for Chris to wake up. Guy took his free hand in his own, holding it gently.


He stood like that until he felt Chris stirring in his bed. He laid his hand carefully, caressing it gently until letting it go completely. Chris looked so peaceful yet so broken. He was like a little angel harmed by nature’s force. Time passed by and the four men could barely lift their eyelids open.


“I think it’s time we go. He’s still asleep and we really need to take showers and coffees to get through the day.” Phil finally said to the other three.


“Yeah, good idea.” Will agreed, nodding his head, already moving towards the door along Jonny and Phil.


“I’m staying.” Guy told them, softly.


For some reason, they didn’t protest or ask any questions. They seemed to understand. Sometimes Guy was freaked out by this bond they shared where many times words were merely superficial for they knew what was going on by looking each other.


As soon as they left, Guy sat down on the stool by Chris’s side. He put his hand over Chris’s immaculate hand.


“I know you’re just asleep and I know I should tell you this only when you wake up but I need to tell you so much and I don’t want to waste any time. I’m sorry. For this, for this suffering you’re going through. And you know I don’t mean just these bruises and stuff. I mean, you have been suffering basically ever since we know each other, having to hide something for all those years, hurting in silence, in loneliness. I don’t want you to go through that anymore.” Guy paused to look at his friend, delighted to see him gazing back at him.


“You’re awake, thank God!”


“Well, I sensed you had something important to tell me.” He grinned lazily at Guy.


“Are you okay? Do you need anything? I can call the nurse, mayb-“


“I’m fine. I haven’t been this fine in a long time.” He interrupted Guy. It was true, though. Putting the accident aside, he hadn’t felt this content in a long time. He was staring back at a man he loved and loved him back. There was nothing that could surpass that. “I love you.”

He simply said, his eyes wide and serious.


Guy couldn’t hold back the tears that forced their way out of his soft brown eyes. He would say later he was sleep deprived. Both knew he was just too overwhelmed by the feelings racing inside him.


“I love you too.”


Chris smiled, lifting his good arm to touch Guy’s cheek, which prompted Guy to move his head so that he could kiss Chris’s hand. It was a simple gesture that symbolized everything they wanted to say at the moment. It was their way of vowing to be together. They didn’t need to say forever. They knew it.


Gently, Guy laid his head on Chris’s lap and closed his eyes. Chris felt the other man relax under the hand he was caressing his short, brown hair with. He had never felt so relaxed and at peace with himself in his entire life. This was the exact moment he had been waiting for; when everything made sense, when everything was worthwhile, when he opened up his eyes to see his future waiting for him. He wasn’t afraid anymore. He was thrilled to embrace the journey, however hard and complicated it might be.


Because now love wasn’t a lonely feeling anymore for him.




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Violent Waters

Chapter 2





“Will! Fuck, I fucking hate you!” cried Chris, throwing his notes at the drummer’s chest. “Why don’t you just write the song if you hate it so much?”


“Calm down, mate,” snapped Jonny. “He just said that he didn’t like it.”


“That’s all he ever says!”


“I can speak for myself, Jon.”


“Why don’t you stop being so stubborn?”


“Why doesn’t he stop being so sensitive?”


“Oh, shut it!”


“What do you think?” said Chris suddenly, turning on me. I froze and slowly looked up at him from my spot on the couch. Struggling to grasp the situation, I picked myself up and straightened out my bass.




“Do you think I’m sensitive?” asked Chris, his blue eyes wide. I opened my mouth and closed it again, a small smile playing on my lips.


“I suppose so.”




“Well, what do you want me to say?” I snapped at Jonny.


“We’re trying to close a disagreement, not open a new one.”


“Leave me out of it, please,” I muttered, looking down at my bass and absently running my thumb along the neck. “Let me know when we’re ready to go back to music.” I glanced up to see Will glaring at Chris and vice versa.


“Well?” said Jonny blandly. “Are you two divas ready?”


Chris shrugged and stormed back to the piano, looking remarkably like a stubborn teenager. Will stormed off in the other direction back to his drums, and Jonny sank down on the couch next to me and leaned back. I looked sideways at him as he pulled the front of his cap over his eyes. “Hi.”


“Hey. Uh, how was your night?” he asked, peering at me from underneath the cap. I grimaced and instantly turned away. I knew exactly what he meant...if I had any success with the girl I’d met at the pub yesterday. We’d been going strong...until she tried to unbutton my jeans. At that point, I’d shoved the poor little brunette away and nearly had a panic attack.


“It was fine,” I whispered, my face growing red. Jonny let out a slow exhale.


“Oh. I’m sorry,” he said, turning back to his guitar. “I, um...you’re still not comfortable with...?”


“I guess not.”


“Oi, mates! You ready?” asked Will. Jonny and I both turned and nodded, and so passed another day.


That night, I poured myself a bowl of cereal, left it on the table, and pulled out the small bag of tablets. I shook them out on the counter and marveled at how much they looked like candies. I swallowed one dry, then threw myself down on the couch and turned on the television.


The next morning, I found myself tangled up in the living room rug, half naked. I picked myself up slowly and noticed a massive headache and an urge to throw up. I stumbled over to the kitchen table and saw the bowl of cereal I’d poured hours ago. I threw it in the garbage and tossed the bowl in the sink, blindly trying to track down the rest of my clothes. Then I noticed the red light blinking at the base of my telephone. Hesitantly, I picked it up and listened to the new message that had been left.


‘Hi, it’s me...Jo...I talked to Jonny and he said you weren’t feeling so well, so I thought I’d keep Nico this weekend. I’m sorry, Guy...call me...’


I put the receiver back in its cradle and sank to the floor, exhausted. I seriously began to consider taking another dose when the phone rang, startling me as if it had been a gunshot. I forced myself into a standing position and picked it up. “H-Hello?”


“Guy! We were supposed to go out yesterday, remember? I waited around the place and tried calling, but you didn’t answer!”


“Oh. Oh, shit...Will, I’m so sorry.” I took a deep breath. “I completely forgot,” I said shakily, “I’m sorry.”


“You’ve been forgetting a lot lately. Or just ignoring us...”


“No, of course not!”


“Are you alright?” he interjected suddenly.


I was thrown off my guard. “I’m fine...and I’m really sorry. We’ll go out tonight.”


“I can’t tonight; I’m going out with Marianne.”


“Oh.” Something fell in the pit of my stomach. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”


“Are you sure you’re okay?” asked Will, lowering his voice.


“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” I hung up before my guilt could make me any sicker.



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Put A Smile Upon Your Face

Part 5





Chris walked into the apartment building. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and walked towards the mailboxes. He opened the box to find it was empty, which was fine with him. He didn't really like getting mail, as most of it was either junk or bills. As he turned to leave, the woman from the store walked up to him.


"Wow, great timing, eh? Uh... do you remember me?" she asked.


"Yeah, of course. We met at the store the other day."


"Right. And I have your mail!" she said, lifting up her hand that was carrying a stack of envelopes. "I'm Teresa, by the way."


"Nice to meet you, Teresa."


"Well, here's your mail." She handed him the envelopes. "Um, I was gonna ask you something, but I think it'd just be ridiculous, so I'm gonna go-"


"No, ask me," he said.


"Well, I was wondering if you'd want to go out for dinner or something. But I know it's ridiculous to ask."


"It's not ridiculous. I'd like that."


"Okay," she smiled. "So... how's tomorrow?"


"Tomorrow... why not tonight?"


"Tonight works, too."


"Good. So I'll meet you out here at... eight?"


"Works for me. See you then!"


"See ya." Teresa walked over to her mailbox, and Chris walked up the stairs to his apartment. He smiled the whole way there. No girl had ever asked him out before, and Teresa seemed like a really nice girl. Plus, he had been recently feeling extremely lonely. He figured it was probably because of the news of Guy no longer being single. Hearing that his friends could get girls but he couldn't always made him feel a bit sad. He was wrong, though.


A few hours later, Chris was in front of his closet, fussing over what to wear. In the end, he decided that he'd just wear a regular old t-shirt and pants. Obviously, Teresa didn't care if he wasn't dressed like a king, because she was the one who asked him out in the first place.


He made his way down the stairs as calmly as he could. Teresa was standing by the door, waiting for him. She was staring at the floor, though, so she didn't see him, but he saw her. She was wearing a very nice white blouse, and a bright pink skirt that went down to her knees. She looked very pretty, he thought.


With each step, the nervous, queasy feeling Chris had experienced after the dream returned. With each breath he saw her take, the feeling intensified. It almost scared him.


"Teresa," he said as he reached the bottom of the stairs. She looked up and smiled at him. He smiled back, grabbing her hand and opening the door for her.


They chose a nice, quiet restaurant within walking distance from the apartment building. After a quick look at the menu, they ordered and began to chat about themselves. They talked about favorite books, movies, television shows, music, the normal introductory things.


Teresa was having a fantastic time. She couldn't believe that she was on a date with a man who was so famous, yet so down-to-earth. There was really nothing about him that was unlikeable. But she could tell something was wrong. Chris was not enjoying the date as much.


He thought he was, though. He liked listening to her weird stories about her and her friends' adventures running wild through the streets of New York. They had apparently taking a month long vacation in America, and spent nearly the whole time walking around the city, doing all sorts of crazy things from wearing jester hats and striped tights under brightly colored shorts to bursting out into song in the middle of the sidewalk. The stories reminded him of all the weird things he had done with his friends.


"So," Teresa said as they were eating dessert. "Has that thing happened to you again? The... falling to the floor thing?"


"Um, not since the other day, no."


"Do you think it'll happen tonight? 'Cause, I've got to tell you, it's rather frightening."


"I hope not. But there's no way to tell. Some things just kinda trigger it. It is rather frightening."


"Have you gone to a doctor or anything?"


"No, I don't really think there's a need to. It's just... well, I can't really explain what happens, but I think I've got it under control." Chris didn't have it under control. What he had was nothing close to control. He didn't care, though, he just wanted to finally have an answer. He needed to remember the dream.


The lake, the girl, it all must have been significant. Chris looked at Teresa's flowing hair, hoping that maybe he'd trigger something. Part of him thought it was a stupid thing to do. He had no idea what would trigger his memory, and he didn't want her to be afraid when something did. But he couldn't stop looking. The other part of him didn't care what happened, so long as he could finally understand.


"Tell me another story," he demanded. He thought that maybe she'd say something that would hit a switch in his brain.


"Um, well, I could tell you about this one time when I was five... I don't remember all of it, but it was quite an interesting day. See, my parents drove us to this lake. It was beautiful. I just sat there, though. I was too afraid to go in the water."


As soon as the words "too afraid" left her lips, Chris was gone once again. Judging by the clarity of the image he saw before him, he could tell that he would finally get his answer.




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Put A Smile Upon Your Face

Part 6




Everything was quiet. Chris was sitting by the lake, admiring its deep shade of blue. He was all alone, left with nothing but his thoughts. Even those weren't very good company. Mostly he thought about how lovely the lake looked. And how lonely he was.


He was the loneliest he'd ever felt. The lake was huge, and grass surrounded him. There were a few animals both in and out of the water. None of it mattered, though. He was so lonely.


Staring at the lake, Chris felt a wave of depression rush over him. Everything seemed to have a match. The blue of the lake shared a connection with the blue of the sky. The blades of grass intertwined in a manner resembling two people locked in a loving embrace. The animals all played and sang with their animal friends. Chris sat alone.


Except he wasn't always alone. There was someone who made him feel like... well, like nothing he'd ever experienced before. Whenever they were around each other, Chris couldn't help but smile. No one could warm his heart like...


"Hey," she said. She sat down next to Chris. He looked at her. She was the Teresa-wannabe. He thought he should say something, but he couldn't. He just kept staring. "Do you still feel lonely?"


He looked at her. She was just as pretty as Teresa. She could probably tell stories like Teresa. But she couldn't make him feel happy. It just wasn't possible.


"Do you still feel lonely?" she repeated.




"You know why, don't you?"




"Someone is missing. Do you know who?"


"Yes." Chris was unsure of why he positively answered the last question. He actually didn't know who made him feel like he was floating. He had always longed for that feeling, and someone to make him feel that way. He thought he never found it, though. He was wrong.


"Listen to your heart, Chris. You'll find that you really do know." He wondered how she knew what he was thinking, then realised that he was in a dream. He wasn't talking to anyone but himself.


Everything went quiet once more. Even the animals had stopped. Deep within the lake, there was a dull beating.


"Is that..."


"Yes," she answered. "It is your heart. Listen to it." Chris closed his eyes and listened. The beating was at a normal pace. It only sounded like a regular heartbeat to him. It didn't seem to say anything.


"I don't get it. It sounds normal."


"Does it? Maybe you should take a look." Chris stared at the lake. He thought about walking over to it, and as he did, the beating grew faster and louder.




"Why not?"


"I'm afraid."


"There's nothing to be afraid of. Don't you want to be happy?"


"No," he replied.


"Why not?" He stared silently at the lake. There was really only one reason for not wanting to be happy. Being happy would be great. Chris would have loved to be happy. But there was a reason to not want to be.


"What if it all goes wrong?"


"That weighs more heavily than if it all goes right. If things take a turn for the worse, then it doesn't matter what bliss you did or could have had."


"Yeah." He turned back to her. "I'm afraid."


"Take my hand," she said, standing up and reaching out to him.




"I'll help you conquer your fear." Much to his surprise, Chris immediately grabbed her hand. He was still absolutely afraid, but he didn't want to be stuck anymore. He didn't want to be lonely anymore.


She slowly led him to the lake. Every step they took increased the volume and pace of the heartbeat. Eventually, they reached the edge of the lake. At that point, Chris' heart was racing. He had never been more scared in his life.


"It's still not saying anything," he said. She laughed and smiled at him.


"It won't. You have to look."


"Look in the lake?"


"Look in the lake, and you will find what you've been looking for all along. You'll find your missing piece."


"My answer."


"Yes, your answer. Don't be afraid, Chris. There is no reason to be afraid now. You've already made it this far."


Chris waited a few moments. Taking that last step, bending over to look into the lake- it could change everything. Then he remembered that everything had already changed. The dream had already been dreamed. He wanted an answer, and he could have it. All he had to do was look.


Gathering up all the courage he could muster, Chris stepped forward. He pointed his blue eyes at the lake's surface. The image that appeared was at first cloudy. He could barely make out its form.


"Let go of your fear, Chris. Let yourself see."


"Let go of my fear," he repeated. "Let myself see." And see he did. The queasy, nervous feeling that he had grown accustomed to now returned in a form that made him start to shake. He was very afraid, but there was no turning back. The image in the lake was clear now.


Chris just stared at it. He had a feeling that it would be this. He hoped it wouldn't, because there were so many potential problems that could arise from such a thing. But he knew it was true. No one he had ever known made him feel so happy. So in love.


Chris reached out and touched the surface of the lake. The picture rippled a bit, but remained visible. The anger he'd felt in a previous trance overtook his body again. Why did this have to happen to him? What did he ever do to deserve happiness in such a twisted form?


He found the rock, and instantly knew what to do. He threw it at the lake, hoping that the collision would change his feelings and he wouldn't have to worry about all the problems he could face. It did no good, though. Nothing could change the picture. He could throw as many rocks as he wanted, or splash the water around, but it would stay the same.


Chris began to cry. It was the only thing he felt was left for him to do. All he wanted in life was to be happy with someone. Looking down at the picture before him, he knew he could be happy. Could be. But there was no guarantee.


There was no guarantee that Jonny would love him back.






but don't worry, there'll be a sequel. i just felt that this one should end here.




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Finding My Sunshine (Part 8)






Jonny's PoV


I sat at the end of the hotel room bed and looked down at the hotel room floor, thinking about what I'd just done. I heard a slight knock on the door. It was Chris's knock, I could tell. "Come in." I called softly and continued to look down at the floor.


"Hey man how'd the date g-." He stopped and took a deeper look at me. "Jonny, you don't look so good. What happened, did it have something to do with the date last night?"


"Carla," I paused. "We... we... broke-up." I spat the words out, as if they were impossible to say without struggle.


"Why?" Chris asked me. "I thought you guys were happy together and were having the times of your lives." I guess he was deeper in me and Carla's relationship than I thought. Well, the relationship we use to have.


"We were, happy as can be, mate." I told him. "but we thought about what we were doing. I mean, she's only here for another 5 days and if we fell to hard for eachother, it would be difficult splitting. It's not like she lives a town or two away either, she lives in an entirely different country and neither of us are good with long distance relationships." I sighed.


"When did you guys brake-up?" He asked me, curiously.


"About an hour ago." I couldn't remember the time, but it wasn't too long ago. "Maybe less." I told him.


"How'd she take it?" He asked me yet another question. "Sorry if I'm asking so many questions, you don't have to answer any of them if you don't want to."


"It's okay. It's not your fault." I could here my throat crack a little. "She...she took it the same way I'm taking it right now." I thought once more about how she was with relationships again. "Maybe worse by now."


"Do you mind if I go see her?" Chris asked me.


"Of course." I replied. "Can you come back afterwards?" I asked him, looking deeply into his eyes. I wanted to know how Carla was reacting to what just happened to us.


Chris looked at me for a couple seconds. "Sure," he said softly and he left, closing the door slowly behind him.




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Chapter 6


World's Apart



"So how is it going with Angela?" Will asked.

"Fine," Jonny said.

"How many times have you been out?"

"Three or four," Jonny said.

"I thought you weren't going to call her again," Guy said.

"I didn't call her," Jonny told him, "She called me."

"Whew," Guy whistled.

"Way to go Jonny boy," Will said.

Jonny stood up.

"Don't call me that," he said.

"Chris always calls you that," Will said, defensively.

"I know," Jonny said, "But....but I don't like it. I don't want you calling me that either."

"Okay," Will said, "Sorry."

Jonny realized that he needed to calm down before one of them got suspicious.

"Forget about it," he told Will, "I'm just not sure what to do about Angela and I've got a short fuse."

"What do you mean?" Will asked.

"I can certainly tell you what I would do about her," Guy said.

Will and Jonny both gave him a dirty look.

"Sorry," he said.

Jonny turned back to Will.

"I'm not that interested in her," he said.

"She's beautiful," Will told him, "What's the problem?"

Jonny shrugged.

"I don't know," he said.

But he knew the problem.

Angela wasn't Chris.

And all he wanted was Chris.

"Lots of guys would kill to go out with her," Will said, truthfully.

"I know," Jonny said, "I keep telling myself how lucky I am. But there's just no spark between us."

"Ah," Will said, "That I understand."

"You do?" Jonny asked.

"Of course," Will said, "You can't create chemistry. It is either there or it isn't."

"That is true," Guy admitted.

Jonny sat quietly thinking to himself.

"You can't deny its existence either just because you want to."



Chapter 7


World's Apart


The snow was flying all around Chris as he walked through the central part of Red Square.

The magnificent multi-colored onion domes of St. Basil's Cathedral looked down upon him.

How appropriate that he was walking by the cathedral named for the “holy fool.”

The imposing red brick walls that protected the Kremlin were a stark contrast to all the brilliant white of the snow.

The steel-grey of the overcast sky seemed to set them both off.

Chris was the lone figure walking in the square that morning.

The temperature hovered around -6 degrees and the wind was blowing at a brisk pace.

But Chris was not cold.

He had a scarf around his face and warm gloves.

He had thick leather boots and an insulated parka.

He had been walking for hours.

More than once he had been stopped by Moscow policemen on patrol.

They were now used to his routine of walking and walking and walking.

Now they just smiled and waved as they passed.

Back at his hotel Chris stomped the thick crust of snow and ice off his boots before he went into the lobby.

The hotel clerk smiled at him with kind eyes as she handed him his room key.

"You are very brave to go out on a day like this," she said.

"It is Sunday," he told her, "I always walk on Sundays, no matter where I am in the world."

"Ah, you are a man of consistency," she said, "I can appreciate that."

"Thank you," he told her, "You are very kind."

He took the key and started for the stairs.

"Wait," she told him, "You are in luck today. It seems we have hot water."

Chris smiled.

"That is good news," he told her.

Upstairs in his room, he filled the bathtub with steaming hot water and got in.

There was no such thing as a shower in Moscow.

He immersed himself in the water and let it warm his frozen bones.

The heat and the steam slowly seeped into his skin and he was sweating before he knew it.

Just like Jonny, he thought.

All these years he was just there.

Just being his good-natured, solid self.

Just being supportive and kind and thoughtful.

Just being helpful and sweet at every turn.

And then one day Jonny was so much a part of Chris that it was impossible to tell where one started and the other began.

That was the day that Chris realized he was in love with him.

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This is a short story


If You'd Only Say Yes





“NO, I am not wearing a kilt!” Guy shouted at Chris.


“Why not? We have to impress at that awards show and there’s no better way of doing that. Come on. It’s barely windy outside.” Chris argued.


“Then you can go in a kilt.”


“I can’t.” He said. “Everybody expects that kind of stuff from the singer, plus Gwyneth only wants me with skirts inside the house.” He said, in a low voice, a huge grin on his face.


Guy scrunched up his face in disgust. “Way too much information, man.”


“Sorry. Anyway, You’re the one that can really cause an impact with a kilt. Jonny has the cap, Will has the… baldness, I have my curls, you only have the earring, you need more.”


“What I need is for you to shut the hell up! I’m not going like that. I’m going like I always go.”


“Why are you so conservative? If you’ve got it, flaunt it, man.”


“I don’t want to flaunt anything in front of thousands of people.”


Chris exhaled loudly before putting his arm around the bassist’s shoulders. “Look, you’ve seen the forums. You know what those girls want, we have to give them something. You teased them with Twitter, showing a picture of your bed and all. This is on that same level of inappropriateness. And you have nothing to be self-conscious about.” Chris reassured him. “You have beautiful legs.”


Guy looked at him. “Are you hitting on me?”


Chris laughed. “No, I’m just stating the obvious. Wait a sec, I’ll call the other guys. Hey, Jon, Will! Get over here!”


“Doesn’t Guy have some sexy legs?”


Will and Jon looked at Guy’s covered legs, frowning in confusion.


“See, they think it’s creepy you would ask that.” Guy said to Chris, going to sit on the nearby couch, crossing his legs.


“Actually, it’s not that creepy.” Jon admitted. “It’s just…”


“Maybe you should show them more. Wear shorts more times.” Will continued, agreeing with his friends.


“Or a kilt!” Chris clapped his hands, a smile on his hopeful face.


Guy stood in silence, pondering the pros and cons to this outrageous idea. He wasn’t the type of person that liked to show off, actually, he was extremely media-shy. On the other hand, it might be kind of cool, from a fashion experience’s perspective. He wouldn’t have to wear any underwear. On the other hand, he couldn’t wear any underwear.


Chris, Jonny and Will were looking expectantly at him.


“So? What’s it gonna be, Mr. Berryman? Are you going to honor your Scottish roots or what?” Chris asked, teasingly.


“I have one condition: I can be drunk that entire day.”




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