Waves

Part FOUR

 

 

Previously in Waves...

After staying at Guy's house, Chris got caught up in a fire which saw him fighting for his life but why was he at Guy's in the first place and HOW did the fire start?

 

At the hospital, after surgery, Chris awakes to the sight of his son and wife. After the initial greetings, Chris drops a bombshell. He is leaving. But why? What is he hiding?

One of the nurses shows concerns for his well-being.

 

A week later we discover that Chris seems to have started a new life in the seaside town of Padstow claiming that his wife left him and his children were taken away from him...the chapter ends with Chris clutching his chest.

 

 

 

 

Later that night...

"I can't believe I have just been on a date with the guy who sings my favourite song" a beautiful, young woman said to Chris. His arm was around her.

 

"And what song is that?" Chris asked.

 

"You're beautiful!" she said. "Of course"

 

Chris burst out laughing.

 

"What is so funny?" the woman asked. They continued to walk hand in hand.

 

"Nothing. Nothing, Gwyneth" Chris said.

 

The woman stopped in her tracks and stared at Chris.

"What did you just call me?" she asked.

 

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" Chris said.

 

"You said you were over her!" the woman said, slapping Chris. "What is my name, then?"

 

"Ow! And, your name, you never even told me!" Chris said.

 

"It's Natalie. For your information" she said before storming off.

 

"Well, I'm not James Blunt!" Chris shouted after her before collapsing on the curb outside of his new house. A woman approached him.

 

"Chris Martin?" She asked.

 

"Yes?" Chris said, looking up and smiling. Chris could not stop looking at the wonderful, rapturous blonde haired woman.

 

"Could I have your autograph?" she asked. "I'm kind of a big fan"

 

"Well, of course you can" Chris said, grinning. "What's the name?"

 

"Gwyneth"

 

Standing up, Chris proclaimed. "Woah, woah, woah, are you messing with me?"

 

"No, no, I'm not, honestly" the woman replied, she seemed quite startled. Chris realised she was telling the truth.

 

"I'm sorry" Chris said. "Gwyneth, of course it is" He continued writing his signature.

 

"Thank you" Gwyneth said, nodding before turning around to walk away.

 

"Gwyneth!" Chris said.

 

"Yes?" Gwyneth asked, turning back around.

 

"Would you like to come in for a drink? Or two?" Chris asked.

 

"I don't settle for any less than three!" Gwyneth said, laughing.

 

"Fine, three, but only because it is you!" Chris said, grinning as he showed his new lady friend into his new house and his new life.

 

 

Such a Perfect Day

 

 

 

It was one of those days, you know, one where you wake up and you feel like nothing could go wrong. The sun was out, there was hardly a cloud in the sky, and I just felt this inexplicable happiness coursing through my veins. So I decided to take advantage of it.

 

I threw on my trainers and headed for the park across the road. I had specifically chosen this apartment because of its location, because it was right next to the most beautiful park I had ever set eyes on. It was ideal for running, which I loved to do, but it was also nice just to stare at it, even through the window in the comfort of my own living room. Especially on sunny days, it was a great place to sit and relax. On the rainy days I stayed inside, but still used its beauty to help relax. It was just so peaceful there.

 

It was still early in the morning, so not too many people were out, and if they were, it was because they were traveling to work. A few small children were playing in the park under the supervision of their mother, but other than that it was basically empty. The leaves were just beginning to grow back on the trees, so that everything was green, but not overbearingly so. Though I have to admit that I love it when the entire park is smothered in foliage.

 

I ran for half an hour or so, then decided to take a quick break. There were several benches scattered around the park, and the nearest one seemed to be already occupied by a young man with curly reddish-brown hair.

 

“Is it all right if I sit with you?” I asked him, pointing to the empty space on the bench. He looked up at me with his big blue eyes, and I thought I saw a sort of aggression in them. But he acted very friendly.

 

“Go ahead,” he quietly said. I sat down beside him and had intended on not bothering him any further; he had been reading some sort of book that still sat in his lap when I had interrupted him. He did go back to reading for a few minutes, then he set the book down. “I'm just waiting for someone.”

 

“Oh,” I replied. I didn't know what else I could have said. “I'm just... taking a break from running.” I tried to be as kind as possible, and not appear at all rude, because there was just something about this man that was off. I just wanted to be careful.

 

He looked over at me again and this time his eyes were sad, and the blue had a greyish tint to it now. His thumb tapped against the corner of his book, and he seemed to have spaced out. Then he moved closer to me and took a deep breath.

 

“Do you like to read?” he asked me.

 

“I read sometimes, yeah.” In fact, at that time I had been reading a book by some new, and probably even local, author that I found in the bookstore a few blocks from my apartment. It was very interesting, and I honestly had a hard time putting it down. I must have read at least half of it within a day.

 

“Have you ever heard of a man called Jon Buckland?” I was startled; as far as I could remember, that was the exact same author that I was reading. Maybe this man was even reading the same book.

 

“Um, yes, actually. I've been reading a book of his for the past few days,” I replied. The grey disappeared from the man's eyes, though he didn't look happy, per se. He just stopped looking sad.

 

“Do you think it's good?” he inquired.

 

“Yeah. I really like it.” He stared down at his book. It appeared as though he was frowning now, but it was hard for me to tell from the angle that I saw him. I felt oddly sympathetic towards this man.

 

“He'll be here soon,” the man quietly said. His palm brushed over the surface of the book's cover, touching it as though it were the most fragile thing in the world. I thought I saw a tiny drop of water splash on it. “He promised me he would be here.”

 

“So, he is the one you're waiting for?” I asked. Still, I was trying not to pry or come on too strong, but I could tell that this man wanted to keep the conversation going, and I didn't see any other way. It seemed like he wanted to tell me, anyway.

 

“My whole life.” His voice was a broken whisper now. His index finger traced the letters that spelled out the title of the book: Could Happen Right in Silence. It was definitely the same book. Maybe he had only written one book. Or only had one published. “What's your name?”

 

“Guy,” I said. “And yes, that actually is my name.” Oddly enough, people never seem to believe me when I tell them that.

 

“It's nice to meet you, Guy,” he said, and I could tell he was trying to smile. “I'm Chris.”

 

“It's nice to meet you, too, Chris.” Chris sighed, tightly holding the book in his hands. He lifted it up to his eyes, and closely examined the cover for something. I watched him silently.

 

Without moving the book, he spoke again. “How long would you wait for someone before you-” His voice shook, and he took another deep breath to calm himself. “Before you realize that they're... not coming?”

 

“Not my whole life,” I told him, though I wasn't sure why I said that. It just felt like the right thing to say. I don't think he wanted to hear it, though.

 

He looked hurt, more hurt than before, and his eyes even started to water. After a few minutes of not moving, he slowly shook his head.

 

“I can't let him go,” he said with more emotion than I have ever heard anyone speak. This poor man... I even felt my own heart breaking as he went on. “I should have left already. I've been sitting here for two days. But I can't- what if he does show up?”

 

“He... won't.” As soon as I heard the words leave my mouth, I wanted to slap myself. So much for being kind to Chris. But it was almost like I was supposed to say it. I was supposed to be here to help him. “Two days is far too long, Chris.”

 

“I know, but... but he told me that he was going to do it.”

 

“Going to do what?” I asked him. He could have just meant that Jon was going to meet him, but I had a feeling that it was something more than just that.

 

But I never got an actual answer. Chris dropped the book, and it fell to the ground, a few of the pages crumpling as they smashed against the pavement under the bench.

 

“You're right,” he said. “He's not coming.” Chris stood up, though his legs were a bit shaky, and his shoulders slumped a little. “You're friends with someone since you were five, he writes a book about you and tells you over and over that he's going to fix everything, and he never does. Since we were five... I shouldn't have thought that he'd changed.”

 

I stood beside Chris, only now noticing the rather obvious height difference between us. Still, I reached my hand out and placed it on his shoulder. “You could do a lot better than him.”

 

Chris looked at me and smiled sadly, placing his hand on top of mine. “No,” he said, and I realized that he only grabbed my hand so he could move it off his shoulder, “I can't. But thank you.”

 

And that was the first and only time I ever saw Chris. He stalked away into the distance, and just before I decided to start running again, I saw the book that he had left behind, still laying on the ground. I picked it up, since I always hated seeing the park littered, and I figured I might as well keep it. Chris didn't seem like he was going to come back for it.

 

The first few pages were some of the ones that had gotten folded over during the fall, and so I straightened them out, and I noticed that there was some extra writing on the first page. It felt almost invasive to read it, but I couldn't help myself. Anyway, it seemed like now I was somehow a part of their story.

 

Chris-

 

I can't believe this book actually made it! Yes, it's the one I wrote for you (do you like the title?), and this is the first printed copy of it. It's actually supposed to be mine, but I want you to have it.

 

Anyway, now that I've finally been published, maybe I'll be able to make some good money. I won't be rich, but at least I'll be able to get by and then some. And just so you know, that extra money is going towards the big plan. It will all work out, I promise.

 

This is so exciting!!!

 

Lots and lots of love (the day will come soon, don't worry!),

Jonny

 

After that day, I never felt the same. Even on the perfect, sunny days, it still felt like there was something missing. Nothing was quite right.

 

Then a week later I was reading the newspaper, and for some reason my eyes skimmed past the obituaries and there were two in particular that caught my eye; one man died of a heroin overdose, and the other had committed suicide a few days later. I have a feeling that wasn't their plan.

 

Waves

Part FIVE

 

 

Previously in Waves...

After staying at Guy's house, Chris got caught up in a fire which saw him fighting for his life but why was he at Guy's in the first place and HOW did the fire start?

 

At the hospital, after surgery, Chris awakes to the sight of his son and wife. After the initial greetings, Chris drops a bombshell. He is leaving. But why? What is he hiding?

One of the nurses shows concerns for his well-being.

 

A week later we discover that Chris seems to have started a new life in the seaside town of Padstow claiming that his wife left him and his children were taken away from him...the chapter ends with Chris clutching his chest.

 

Later that night we see Chris on a date with a girl. After calling her Gwyneth by accident, she goes crazy, slaps him and leaves. On the curb of his new house, he is approached by another girl who claims that her name is Gwyneth- Chris lets her in...

 

 

 

 

A month since he left...

 

Gwyneth walked into the room, a cup of coffee in her hand and kissed Chris on the cheek. Chris looked happy.

"What are you so happy about?" Gwyneth asked, smiling.

 

"Everything. Everything has worked out so well" Chris said.

 

"I know, isn't it brilliant?" Gwyneth said, sipping her cup of coffee.

 

"It sure is" Chris replied. "Do you know that it has been a month since I left"

 

"Really? It doesn't seem like two minutes" Gwyneth said, generally meaning what she had just said.

 

"I know! But it has been the best time of my life" Chris said, kissing Gwyneth passionately. "You are my everything, do you know that?"

 

"Well, maybe not for long" Gwyneth said.

 

"How do you mean?" Chris said, standing up. "You are not leaving me our you, please, please don't!"

 

"No, no, of course I am not!" Gwyneth exclaimed. "I'm pregnant!"

 

"No, no" Chris said, his smile from earlier very much now a frown. "No, this was not what was meant to happen!"

 

"What do you mean? I thought you would be happy! You said you wanted kids!" Gwyneth exclaimed, throwing her arms out in front of her.

 

"Not this way! We were meant to adopt!" Chris shouted.

 

"Adopt? Adopt? Why adopt when we can have our own child?" Gwyneth screamed, starting to cry.

 

"Now she is starting to cry...look, when you are under my roof, you are under my rules. Please, just play things out like I want it, in the time that I have!" Chris said, grinning.

 

"What the hell are you on about Chris?"

 

"You get rid of that child today, get down to the adoption place tomorrow..."

 

Gwyneth interrupted. "What?"

 

"Yes, yes, that is what is happening" Chris demanded. "Oh and marry me!"

 

 

A Heavy Heart

Chapter Eight

 

Chris picked up the spoon, scooping out the reddish orange goo from the tiny jar in his other hand. It looked disgusting and delicious all at once, but he was definitely glad he didn't have to eat it.

 

“Oh, what, you want this?” he said to Ty, who was sitting in his high chair around the corner of the table from Chris and eying the spoon with a blank expression. Chris held the spoon closer to Ty, and Ty crinkled his nose a little. “I know, it doesn't look so appetizing, does it?”

 

Ty continued to make a weird face, twitching his mouth a little. Out of the corner of his eye, Chris saw something flash near the doorway.

 

“Well, let me tell you something,” Chris said in a low voice, “neither did that stuff Jay made a while ago, but I still ate that.”

 

“Hey!” Jonathan swung his head around the corner of the doorway, eyebrows scrunched in an insulted way. He quickly decided to show his entire body, and walked into the room. “You said you liked my casserole.”

 

“I did,” Chris nodded. “I never said it wasn't good, just that it didn't look good. Big difference.”

 

“Well...” Jonathan fumbled for a comeback. He knew he had one somewhere, in some back corner of his mind. “It's still mean.”

 

“It's not mean, it's honest,” Chris retorted in an overly pretentious manner, holding his chin high and sticking his nose in the air. Jonathan laughed and rolled his eyes, and Chris made a serious attempt to make Ty eat the awful-looking baby food.

 

“Come on, you know you want to eat it,” Chris sang, waving the spoon in front of Ty. “It's super yummy!”

 

“I don't think you're convincing him,” Jonathan said from his new spot standing behind Chris. He gripped the back of Chris's chair and leaned over Chris's shoulder. “It wouldn't convince me.”

 

Chris turned his head a little, narrowing his eyes at Jonathan and trying to ignore their closeness. He swung his arm around to shove the spoon and its contents in Jonathan's face, but he moved too quickly, and the reddish orange goo flew off the spoon and hit Jonathan right in the nose.

 

Chris alertly widened his eyes and bit his lip to fight back laughter that was threatening to break free from its place in his throat. Jonathan stood momentarily, mouth agape, then excused himself and stalked off to the bathroom to clean himself up. Chris watched him as he left, still stifling a giggle, then slowly turned his head towards Ty.

 

“Don't give me that look!” Chris set down the jar of baby food and pointed his finger at Ty. “Listen, kid, you don't know what it's like, OK? It's not easy pretending, but it's not like I can tell him or anything.”

 

Ty blinked a few times in response.

 

“Jonathan likes girls. He doesn't like me,” Chris said. He picked up the jar again and took out another spoonful. This time, Ty finally opened his mouth and ate, much more eager than before. Like Jonathan's casserole, it tasted much better than it looked.

 

“See? It's no so bad,” Chris told him. “Just wait until I have to make real food for you. Then you're in for it.”

 

Ty had made it over halfway through the jar before Jonathan returned. He walked back in and shot a rather peeved look at Chris, who wasn't paying attention just then anyway. But, as always, he quickly decided that he couldn't really be mad at Chris.

 

“Hey, look who's back,” Chris excitedly said as Jonathan stopped beside him. “And baby food-free!”

 

“Yeah, no thanks to some people,” Jonathan said with slight annoyance.

 

“Sorry,” Chris sheepishly said. Ty took another spoonful of goo.

 

“It's OK,” Jonathan assured Chris. “I'm gonna make some tea, do you want any?”

 

“Yeah, that would be nice.” Chris waited until Jonathan was near the counter, then spun around in his seat. “Thanks.”

 

Jonathan turned back and smiled. The look in his pale green eyes made Chris's heart beat a little faster and he began to wonder just a little.

 

Chris looked to Ty and shrugged. “You know what, Ty? I should take you on a walk later, if it's not too cold out. Maybe Jonathan could come, too.” Chris winked at Ty, then waited for an answer.

 

“I don't think it's supposed to be very warm today,” Jonathan said. “But I guess.”

 

Chris smiled, but shook his head at Ty. “Doesn't mean anything,” he whispered.

 

Ty continued to eat, until finally the jar was empty. Chris looked into the jar with fake surprise, then clapped and tried to give Ty a high-five. Ty laughed at him.

 

“Chris,” Jonathan called. When Chris looked up, he nodded to the kettle and opened the cupboard to grab two mugs.

 

Chris slid over next to Jonathan, keeping an eyes on Ty across the room as he waited for Jonathan to finish pouring his cup. But, much to Chris's surprise, Jonathan handed the cup to Chris.

 

“Aw, Jay, you're so nice,” Chris said while grasping the cup in his hands. He took a sip and watched Jonathan over the rim. The hot liquid glided down his throat and settled in his churning stomach.

 

“So, how are you doing?” Jonathan casually asked before taking a drink from his own mug.

 

“I'm all right.” Chris halfheartedly smiled and shrugged. “You know, it... it's tough.”

 

“Some people never have any clue what they're talking about,” Jonathan said, intending on enveloping more meaning than he really did.

 

“Jay, why are you such a good friend to me?” The question seemed rhetorical, though somewhere deep down Chris knew he was hoping for some sort of confession. “Only, I was so awful to you last year...”

 

“You're not awful to me.” Chris had a momentary lapse in sanity and thought that maybe Ty had been on to something. He had to think for quite a while about what to say next, not wanting to ruin what he thought might be his best chance.

 

“Thank you. For your help. For all the help you've ever given me, which is a lot. I...” Chris placed his cup on the counter to free his arms, which he then used to wrap around Jonathan's shoulders. Jonathan set down his own mug and gladly returned the embrace with almost as much emotion as Chris was putting in.

 

Chris looked over at Ty, who was staring back with what Chris took to be an expression of encouragement. Silently he conversed with his son through various facial expressions- though it was more of a one-sided conversation- eventually coming to the conclusion that there was no time left to waste. He was young still, there was no point in spending his life simply wondering, and so he decided to find out exactly how Jonathan felt about him using the first method that came to mind.

 

He began to pull away from the hug, but immediately locked lips with Jonathan. It was very brief, since he didn't want to freak Jonathan out entirely, but it was enough to send his nerves in a tizzy and chills running down his spine. Jonathan felt that it wasn't enough, though, and so he took the liberty of meeting their mouths once more, this time with much more passion and tongue.

 

Chris smiled against Jonathan's lips and whispered, “I take it that means you like me.”

 

“Yeah,” Jonathan quietly replied before a small cooing sound came from the direction that Ty just happened to be sitting in. Chris craned his neck around to look, finding Ty smiling at them.

 

“Well, I think Ty approves.”

 

“Oh-” Jonathan began, then turned his head back. “I forgot he was here.” For a minute he worried that maybe he shouldn't have kissed Chris like that in front of a small baby, but it didn't seem to bother Chris very much. Then he thought maybe he should have been worried about Chris's carelessness. Eventually it passed.

 

“Jonathan,” Chris said, and he waited for Jonathan to look at him again. “I love you. I just thought you should know that. I tried, I really did- I tried to get over you, but nothing worked. Like, with James... I really liked him, but it wasn't enough, I guess, to make me forget.”

 

Jonathan nodded in agreement. “It was the same for me.”

 

Chris scrunched his eyebrows up in confusion. “But, I- I thought that you said... I mean, when you... you told me that you never loved me. Not like that.”

 

“I wasn't sure if I did,” Jonathan said. “Now I am. I did. And I still do.”

 

Chris raised one of his hands and lightly brushed Jonathan's cheek. “I missed this so much. I've had dreams about it before, but I tried to ignore those,” Chris mumbled the end of his sentence, averting his eyes and staring at the ground.

 

Then Jonathan remembered all of his strange dreams, and he instantly knew what they must have meant. Staring into the face of the pretty blue-eyed boy in front of him, he felt that same desire to provide protection for him against the evils of the world, namely the jerks who populated their school. It would certainly be much easier to do if they were together.

 

“I missed it, too. But... I was a little afraid that it didn't matter, because you'd have moved on. It seemed like you did.” Jonathan paused thoughtfully, then shrugged a shoulder. “Well, I mean, you said you tried, so... Anyway, I'm just...” Jonathan groaned and shook his head, trying to clear his mind. “I love you,” he decisively said.

 

“I love you, too,” Chris happily replied. He leaned in to kiss Jonathan again, but just as their lips touched there was a sound from the doorway. It sounded like a woman suddenly gasping, then clearing her throat.

 

“Mum!” Jonathan removed his hands from their former resting spot on Chris's waist, and Chris slowly took his arms back. “Uh...”

 

“Good morning, Penny,” Chris smiled. “It is good, right? And I think it's still morning.”

 

“It's an all right morning, I would say,” Penny cautiously replied. “Though it seems like you boys have had a better time.” Chris opened his mouth to explain, but Penny cut him off with a wave of her hand. “It's fine- Well, I think we need to have a talk, but it's fine.”

 

“A talk, yeah, of course,” Chris said, nodding his head along. “Of course.”

 

“Yeah, but first I think I need something to wake me up.” Penny stumbled into the kitchen and over to the boys, instinctively grabbing a mug from the cupboard. She was pleasantly surprised to find that someone had already made tea, which made her job a lot easier.

 

Penny sat down at the table, opposite of where Chris had been sitting with Ty. She looked utterly drained of any and all energy, which could have been odd considering she just woke up. Jonathan and Chris both made their way over to the table as well, sitting on the same side and facing Penny. She assumed from the start that they expected she wanted to talk with them at that moment; they were right. It would be a lot easier to just get it done and over with.

 

“You two are... together, I presume?” Penny asked.

 

“Yes,” Jonathan almost immediately replied, catching Chris slightly off guard. It wasn't the answer, merely the quickness of it; Chris was thrilled by Jonathan's apparent enthusiasm.

 

“Yeah,” he agreed with a small grin.

 

“For how long, exactly?”

 

Chris narrowed his eyes pensively. “Five minutes?” He shrugged. “Roughly. Is that all right?”

 

Penny raised her eyebrows impressively. “Well, it's about time. In all honesty, I expected this to happen much earlier.” She thought to herself for a minute, absentmindedly nodding. “Right. I'm obviously not going to forbid you to be together, but we need to set some rules.”

 

Penny took a break to drink some tea. Chris looked to Jonathan, slowly moving his hand over to rest it on Jonathan's thigh.

 

“Yeah, Chris, that's not gonna fly,” Penny casually mentioned, still hiding behind her mug. Chris quickly pulled his hand back and tried to hide his embarrassment by making faces at Ty. Jonathan shifted in his chair a little.

 

“Can we get this over with? I'm starting to feel a bit awkward now,” he said.

 

“Number one,” Penny said, holding up a finger and taking one last sip of her tea, “no rooms with closed doors. Two, no inappropriate touching while others are in the room. Or for that matter, when they're not.” Penny shot a look at Chris, then went on. “And please, please, do not be making out everywhere.”

 

“Mum,” Jonathan bashfully muttered. “You don't have to worry.”

 

“I know, I'm just telling you know now so you can't say that I didn't later.”

 

“What's it like outside?” Chris abruptly asked, still focusing on Ty. He reached forward and brushed some of Ty's hair out of his eyes.

 

“How the hell are any of us supposed to know? We've been inside all morning,” Jonathan replied. “It's probably like it was yesterday- cold and boring.”

 

“It wasn't that cold yesterday.” Chris turned to Jonathan and smiled. “I was thinking we could go for a walk. Ty would love it. If you don't want to, that's fine.”

 

“No, I'll go,” Jonathan said. “It's not like there would be better things to do in here, anyway.”

 

“Wonderful!” Chris jumped up on his feet and carefully lifted Ty from his high chair. “Come on, let's go bundle you up and then we're gonna go for a walk! You, me, and Jay. Isn't that great?”

 

Chris's voice trailed off as he and Ty left the room and headed for the stairs. Jonathan laughed to himself at Chris's silliness, partially giddy still from the memory of what it felt like to kiss his new- and, at the same time, old- boyfriend. His happiness only intensified when he reminded himself that this time there would be no secrets. They didn't have to hide.

 

“So, you love him?” Penny asked. Jonathan turned his eyes towards his mother with surprise. “You can say yes.”

 

“Well, I- I mean, I- yeah.” Jonathan ducked his head to cover his sudden flush.

 

“Good. That boy's been through a lot... You'll take good care of him.” He looked over to the doorway where Chris had been not too long ago. Taking care of Chris- he liked the sound of that. Taking care of him, protecting him. Jonathan couldn't help smiling.

 

It seemed like forever before Chris finally reached the bottom of the bag containing Ty's things, where all of his clothes were stashed. Of course, there were only a few outfits, since he would only be there for the weekend.

 

Ty was laying on Chris's bed beside the bag, staring at the ceiling with his Chris-like blue eyes and waiting to be dressed in heavier clothing. The world was a strange place for him.

 

Soon Ty was fully prepared to brave the cold, wearing a rather thick navy blue jacket and an adorable knitted hat with ear flaps, and held up on Chris's side as he was carried down to the kitchen once more. Jonathan was waiting for them by the door, ready to go at any moment.

 

“Could you take him for a minute while I get my jacket?” Chris asked Jonathan, gently handing Ty over. Then he maneuvered around Jonathan and to the coat rack, where he grabbed a dark blue blazer and threw it over his shoulders. He fussed with the collar a bit, then buttoned it up. “Thank you.”

 

“Not a problem,” Jonathan said as he gave Ty back to Chris. Jonathan moved ahead and opened the door for Chris, then quickly shut it behind him before any of the cold air that hit them as they stood on the porch could make it inside the house.

 

“Ah, look, it's not that cold out here.” Chris exhaled with force, looking rather smug about the lack of reaction from the air. “I can't even see my own breath.”

 

“All right, it's not so bad today,” Jonathan admitted. “Can we get to walking now?”

 

“Of course.” Chris quickly began to walk down the porch steps and towards the sidewalk, not waiting for Jonathan at all. But Jonathan was just as quick and stayed beside Chris the entire time. “Jay, today is crazy, isn't it?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean that it's not even noon yet, but so much has happened, it seems. Maybe not, but that certainly was a little awkward with your mum, huh?” Chris laughed, because truthfully it was nowhere near as awkward for him as he knew it had been for Jonathan.

 

“Oh my God, don't remind me,” Jonathan moaned. He tried to forget it, but as he stared down at his feet all he could see on the passing pavement was image of his mother dictating the regulations of their relationship. His cheeks went a bit red again.

 

“Hey, at least we're in the clear.” Chris stared at Jonathan, first happily, then with a bit of uncertainty. “But there is... one tiny matter to attend to...”

 

“What's that?” Jonathan asked.

 

“What are we going to do about school? Because, I mean, we don't have to let people know... Or we could let people know.” Chris shrugged the shoulder that wasn't giving support to Ty's small body. “It's up to you, I guess. I already receive enough taunting now that it won't matter to me either way, but you... you don't have to go through it if you don't want to. That's fine with me.”

 

Jonathan thought about what Chris said. He nodded a little and rested his hand on Chris's back. “Those people in school... they can deal.”

 

Waves

Part SIX

 

 

 

Previously in Waves...

After staying at Guy's house, Chris got caught up in a fire which saw him fighting for his life but why was he at Guy's in the first place and HOW did the fire start?

 

At the hospital, after surgery, Chris awakes to the sight of his son and wife. After the initial greetings, Chris drops a bombshell. He is leaving. But why? What is he hiding?

One of the nurses shows concerns for his well-being.

 

A week later we discover that Chris seems to have started a new life in the seaside town of Padstow claiming that his wife left him and his children were taken away from him...the chapter ends with Chris clutching his chest.

 

Later that night we see Chris on a date with a girl. After calling her Gwyneth by accident, she goes crazy, slaps him and leaves. On the curb of his new house, he is approached by another girl who claims that her name is Gwyneth- Chris lets her in...

 

A month since the fire we discover that Chris and his new girlfriend Gwyneth are both very happy until she drops the bombshell that she is pregnant. Chris reacts very strangely to this and goes berserk claiming that this is not what should happen and that they should adopt. He demands for her to get rid of the baby, go to the adoption centre and, oh...marry him.

 

 

 

 

 

"Chris" Gwyneth said, sympathetically. "You need help"

 

"No, no, I do not" Chris exclaimed. "I do not need help"

 

"Chris, you are scaring me, please just, well, there are people that can help you" Gwyneth said, smiling.

 

"Please don't leave me" Chris said bluntly. "Please marry me"

 

"I don't know, Chris" Gwyneth said, sitting down beside Chris. Chris grabbed her hands and looked into her eyes.

 

"Please" Chris asked. "Marry me and let's adopt"

 

Getting angry, Gwyneth stood up. "Why the hell do you want to do this?" she exclaimed

 

"Because" Chris said, wiping a tear away. "I want a family- as soon as possible"

 

"What is the hurry?"

 

"I'll be dead in four months" Chris said, holding his girlfriend's hands.

 

"What?" Gwyneth said, shocked as she sat back down beside Chris.

 

"Before I came here, I was in a fire" Chris said, taking a deep breath. "I went into surgery in hospital, they found out that I had a tumour. It is cancerous. They said I had five months to live"

 

"Chris" Gwyneth said. "I didn't know"

 

"And that is why I want a family so much, I don't have time to wait 9 months, I will be dead in four"

 

"But" Gwyneth said, welling up. "You have kids"

 

"I didn't want to upset them, or my wife" Chris said, grinning.

 

"So...they didn't leave you. You left them" Gwyneth said.

 

"Yes"

 

"Chris Martin, you are the most amazing person I have ever met" Gwyneth said, chuckling.

 

"Will you fulfil my dying wishes, to be my wife and the father of my child?" Chris asked.

 

"Always"

 

 

 

Chapter 9

 

 

 

The morning light shone brightly through the small window in Dianna’s room, making her squint her eyes and burying deeper into her Guy-shaped pillow.

 

Said pillow-man yawned widely and scratched his chin.

 

“Morning, love.” He said, voice raspy from sleep.

 

“Morning.” Dianna answered and happily received a languid kiss before sitting up in bed and stretching.

 

A bell tolled somewhere in the distance.

 

“Oh, my!” Dianna exclaimed. “Is that the time?”

She jumped out of bed and threw on a blue dress that she took from a trunk at the foot of her bed.

 

She stopped in her rushing and looked over at the bed, where Guy lay with his hands behind his head, smiling contently.

 

“What?” She laughed.

 

“Oh, nothing. Just watching the woman of my dreams get dressed.”

 

Dianna blushed and waved him off. “Stop.”

 

“Although I’d rather you took them off, I must say.”

 

“Guy!” She banned him playfully.

 

He poked out his tongue at her as she picked up a brush and drew it through her long blond hair.

 

“I really need to see Will now. And check in on Chris.” She bent over the bed and gave Guy another kiss. She reluctantly pulled back. “Stay as long as you like.”

 

“Forever?” Guy asked the corner of his mouth turned up.

 

Dianna turned around where she stood, doorknob in her hand and smiled warmly . “Absolutely.”

 

-*-

 

Dianna slammed the door to Will’s office wide open and walked in.

“Way to not make a dramatic entrance.” Will dryly said to her as he looked up from his papers.

 

“I never get to be on stage, I need some drama in my life.” She answered and sat down.

 

“So the drama yesterday wasn’t enough?”

 

“Well, maybe you’re right about that.”

 

“I’m sure I am.” He began. “We have a few problems.”

 

“Oh, really?” She sarcastically said.

 

“Yes, really.”

 

“I’m listening.”

 

“Ok, first things first. Chris awoke last night, was in pain, got some pills and I’d imagine he fell asleep with no pain under the ever watchful eyes of Mister Jonathan. Don’t know how he’s feeling today, so we have to check on that. And… Then there’s the problem.”

 

“You said problems. As in plural.”

 

“Er, yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “Ok, the first problem then. We have a new addition to our little theatre family.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“A human apparently got in here after the show.”

 

“A human?!” Dianna exclaimed. “How exciting.”

 

“Not really. We don’t have any clue on how to send her back. She’s stuck here for the time being.”

 

“Oh, it’s a girl?”

 

“Yes, I thought you might like to show her around? Maybe give her a dress or something? She’s wearing very strange clothes.”

 

“Of course!” Dianna jumped up from the chair. “Let’s check in on Chris and I’ll go to her after that.”

 

“Splendid.” Will said and followed an excited Dianna out of the large wooden door.

 

“Wait.” Dianna said and stopped, sending Will crashing into her back. “What are the other problems?”

 

“Only one other, but I guess you heard about it last night. We have to find a way for Chris to get his sight back.”

 

“I know.”

 

“He can’t use the mask anymore. He’ll die.”

 

“Alright.”

 

“I’m serious.”

 

“So am I.” Dianna said and sized Will up, her blue eyes sparkling.

 

“Good. That’s settled then.”

 

Dianna and Will ended up outside of Chris’ door and Will raised his fist and knocked.

There was some muffled sounds behind the door and it was soon opened by a bleary eyed Jonny, his hair tussled.

 

“Morning, Jon.” Will greeted.

 

“Hey.” He answered and threw a smile at Dianna.

 

“So how’s the patient?”

 

“Asleep.”

 

“And?” Dianna asked.

 

“And… Asleep.” Jonny shrugged. “He’s been asleep all night, hardly a sound.”

 

“Well… That’s good, right?” Will said and turned to Dianna for confirmation.

 

Dianna nodded. “He dealt with a lot last night. I suppose it’s good for his body to cope by sleeping.” She raised her eyebrows. “Can I see him?”

 

“Uhm… Sure.” Jonny stepped back and opened the door wide to let the two of them through.

 

Chris was curled underneath a thick comforter, his sweet, relaxed face peeking up from it.

 

Dianna crouched down beside his bed and caressed his curls. She put her hand on his forehead.

 

“Well, the fever is down…” She said in a hushed voice. She stood up again.

 

“I’m really lost here.” She continued. “Maybe we should call for a healer if he gets worse, but… I think he’s in good hands as it is at the moment.” She smiled at Jonny.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Well, we have other business to attend to, I suppose.” Will said. “Thanks, Jon.”

 

“Anytime.”

 

“You take the day off now, you hear?”

 

“I was going to.”

 

“Good.”

 

Will and Dianna left and Jonny lay down next to Chris again, holding him close.

 

-*-

 

Dianna had popped into her room, kissed Guy (who had fallen asleep again) on the head and marveled at how nice it was to be able to finally do that, grabbed a few dresses from her extensive wardrobe and gone over to the guest room.

 

She knocked before locking up the door with a key Will had given her.

“Yes?” Came through the door and she opened it.

 

“Hello, I’m Dianna.” She greeted and tried not to laugh at the girl who sat clad in nothing but a towel on the red velvet sofa, trying to read a newspaper.

 

“I can’t read this.” She said and stood up and hesitated a little before holding out her hand. “I’m Thalia.”

 

Dianna quickly caught on and shook Thalia’s hand.

 

“I brought some clothes for you.” She smiled as Thalia lit up and took up a pale green dress and handed it to her.

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Thalia babbled and got into the small sleeping alcove and pulled the dress on.

 

She emerged a few seconds later, dress swirling prettily around her ankles as she twirled.

 

“It looks fantastic on you!” Dianna complimented.

 

Thalia blushed. “Really?”

 

“Really. Now… Come here and sit down and tell me all about where you come from, I’ve never met a human before.”

 

“It’s strange how you all look human but aren’t.” Thalia said with a wry smile.

 

Dianna smiled. “Spill.”

 

Thalia began to blabber about the most mundane human things, Dianna hung on to her every word and she in turn told her all about the life in the theatre.

 

A few hours later, it was as if they had always known each other.

 

 

A Heavy Heart

Chapter Nine

 

Chris tapped his foot as he waited in line. After returning Ty to Kirsten's, he had traveled to the shop in town to pick up a few things. Penny had offered to drive- insisted, actually, but Chris refused. He found himself recently bestowed with a mass amount of energy that he needed to find some way to burn off, thus he chose to travel by foot. In fact, he was filled with so much energy that he ran from Kirsten's house to the store. Even then, he wasn't remotely close to being tired.

 

The line had only moved about an inch since he took his place. He was third, luckily, so it wasn't as terrible as it could have been. But he had still been standing there for a few minutes, and only one inch seemed a little ridiculous.

 

Someone walked up behind him, and naturally, he ignored whoever it was. The few items he held in his hands were starting to weigh him down, so he shifted his arms a little.

 

“...Chris?”

 

It was a man who called his name, the voice very deep and very familiar. Chris cautiously turned to meet the eyes of the man, realizing only halfway through his movement just who it was. He was about the same height as Chris, with the same curly hair but a shade darker, and matching blue eyes.

 

“Alex!” Chris smiled, absolutely astonished. It had been at the very least a year and a half since he last saw his brother. This particular brother, anyway; his other brother had not been around in a much longer span of time. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I just stopped here to stretch my legs a bit and get something to drink,” Alex replied. “I've been driving all day. But I'm glad to finally be back. Did you walk here or something?”

 

“Ran, actually.”

 

Alex laughed. “That doesn't surprise me. Do you want a ride back up to the house, then, or are you just gonna run again?”

 

It only then occurred to Chris that Alex had not been informed of anything that had happened within the past year. He was surprised, but he knew he shouldn't have been.

 

“Uh... no one... no one told you?” The perplexed expression Alex was now displaying confirmed his ignorance. “I don't live with mum and dad anymore.”

 

“Oh.” The explanation did very little to clear up Alex's confusion. He shifted his eyes around for a bit, thinking, then asked, “Where do you live, then?”

 

“With my friend and his mum,” Chris said. He frowned and stared at the floor, his voice becoming lower and sadder. “You're visiting our parents?”

 

“Yeah. Well, I was under the impression that you'd be there, too.” Alex uncomfortably scuffed the floor with his shoe and tried to decide whether or not asking for further information would be a good idea.

 

“Would you-” Chris abruptly stopped mid-sentence; Alex quickly looked up to see if something had happened, but he found that his brother was still staring at the floor. Cautiously, Chris spoke again. “Would you take me with you? … I haven't... seen them for a while.”

 

A year, he thought to himself. It's already been a year.

 

“Uh, sure.”

 

They were mostly silent until they had both paid and were headed out the door. Chris was wondering if any of this was actually a good idea, but he didn't really want to pass up the opportunity to find out. Alex pointed out where his car was and they began to walk towards it.

 

“So, why are you visiting?” Chris asked. “Just because?”

 

“For the most part. It's been quite a while, eh?” Alex chuckled a bit and Chris smiled in response. “I figured the 'rents could tolerate my presence for a little bit.”

 

Alex opened the door to his car, Chris following along on the other side. It was an extraordinarily nice car, seemingly brand new. Chris figured that by now his brother must have become a successful whatever it was that he did, which was sure to please their parents. And maybe their happiness would be enough to forget, even just for a short period of time...

 

The ride seemed a lot longer than he remembered; maybe it was just his anticipation that was slowing down time. By the time the house came into view, he thought he felt his hands begin to shake, and his heart was beating a little faster.

 

Alex noticed Chris's ghostly expression, but chose to say nothing. He swiftly pulled into the driveway of the large estate, and within a minute or two they were standing in front of the door. Chris was apprehensive about going further, but Alex just pushed the door open and held it for Chris.

 

Chris took a step, probably the scariest step he'd ever taken. Everything looked the same inside the house, as he had expected; his parents had never been too keen on change.

 

“You'd think that people would make their houses more secure so random creeps wouldn't be able to just walk in off the street,” Alex said with a purposeful loudness. He shortly laughed and winked at Chris, who was in no mood to laugh back.

 

Instead, Chris stood staring at the doorway where his mother's voice was coming from. “Honey, get up! Alex is here. Alex! It's so wonderful to see you again...”

 

Her voice trailed off as her eyes fixed with disgust on her youngest son, though she'd made it her life mission to forget she ever had three children. The smile that had appeared on her face faded as she stood frozen in the doorway, her husband soon to suffer the same fate.

 

“Alex, my boy!” He froze, too, but his expression changed much more quickly than his wife's had.

 

Then there was only a tense silence looming in the air. Alex found it difficult to watch the interaction between his family, though he had no idea what it was like to actually be a part of it. He did notice the hateful stares shot at his brother, and the way Chris's eyes started to water.

 

Once he could handle no more, Chris slowly turned to Alex, and in a shaky voice asked, “C-could you take me home?”

 

Alex felt like a complete outsider, with absolutely no idea what was going on, but he nodded his head in agreement. It was strange to hear Chris call any other place home; even though he had moved out years ago, Alex still thought of it as his home.

 

Chris left through the door first, and Alex turned to see his parents once more before leaving as well. They hadn't changed expressions, but they were both staring at the floor now rather than their estranged son. Alex muttered something about being back in a short while, then followed Chris.

 

Chris informed Alex roughly where his new home was, then leaned his head against the window and stared blankly. He really hadn't expected anything more or less from his parents, but it still hurt. The way his mother had looked at him, as if he wasn't anything more than a worthless clump of mass that was taking up space in her precious foyer. And to top it all off, he was unfortunately hit with memories of the last time he had seen his parents...

 

*

 

It was raining, the sky a dark and ominous color, but Chris couldn't have been happier. After a month of staying with Penny and Jonathan, he was finally going home. Penny had been kind enough to drive him, as she was headed off to work anyway and his house was along the way.

 

Now he stood at the door, backpack in hand, waiting for his parents to answer the door. He wasn't sure why, but he felt that it would have been weird for him to just walk right on in, so instead he knocked.

 

“Oh, Chris!” his mother exclaimed as she opened the door, pulling him inside and giving him a hug that nearly suffocated him. “It's great to have you back.”

 

“It's great to be back,” Chris happily breathed. He tried to soak in the happiness for as long as he could. “Where's dad?”

 

“He's around here somewhere.” She finally released him, still as bubbly and bright as ever. “Why don't you go put that up in your room?” she asked, pointing to his bag.

 

There it was. Chris knew that it wouldn't be a good idea to even think about unpacking. He started to get a little anxious.

 

“I want to talk to you guys about something first.” He tried to remember everything that Penny and Jonathan had said to him in encouragement. First, remain calm. He clasped his hands in midair to control any spasms. “Can we sit down in the other room?”

 

“Of course.” She sounded a little apprehensive, but moments later they were sitting in the next room over. Chris's father was just finishing up something he'd been working on, then he entered and sat down beside his wife. Chris was sitting in a single chair opposite his parents. It felt almost like he was being interrogated, even though he was the one who asked for the meeting.

 

“What is, sweetheart?” Chris's mother asked when minutes of silence had passed. Chris thought for only a second longer, then looked up and smiled.

 

“What exactly is it that you want me to do? You know, with my life.”

 

“Well,” his father began, “first, finish school. Keep getting good grades. Then, get into a good college, become something like maybe a doctor, a lawyer. Marry a nice woman-” Chris inwardly cringed, “-raise a family of your own. Teach them just like we've taught you. I think that's a fairly simple overview.”

 

“OK.” Chris took a deep breath and told himself the next step: Don't be afraid. That one would be a little harder to accomplish. “I can't do that.”

 

That such a simple statement could evoke such disappointment only made Chris fear worse for what he still had yet to say.

 

“What do you mean?” his mother asked.

 

“You're not failing your classes, are you?” his father asked with a slightly raised voice.

 

“No, I'm doing fine in school.” Chris sighed again and tried to compose himself. He really wasn't doing well with not being afraid. “And...” he quietly added, “well, Kirsten's thinking about keeping the baby, so I guess I'm already starting a family.”

 

“She's what??” his mother nearly shrieked. Chris shrugged as if to say that it wasn't exactly as if he had a choice (though he secretly was quite happy about Kirsten wanting to keep the baby), and she shook her head and calmed herself a bit. “Never mind.”

 

Chris was deeply regretting the whole situation now, but he knew he couldn't back down. It wouldn't have been right.

 

And lastly, Penny's voice played in his head, if they don't like it, we're always here for you.

 

“I can't get married,” he said. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to say, but it was a start. A start, and now he definitely couldn't go back. His palms were getting a little sweaty.

 

“Of course you can!” his father exclaimed as if Chris was just being silly. “Why wouldn't you be able to get married?”

 

“Well...” The room felt very hot now, and Chris looked out the window behind his parents to find some sort of distraction. It looked like the rain was clearing up a bit. And suddenly he thought of a way to take a detour. “Do you guys remember when I was little, maybe five or so, and you brought me over to the Helsby's for that play date? Remember that?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“And you tried to get me to play with Marina... but I only wanted to play with Mason...” Chris paused, hoping his parents would catch on before he vomited in the middle of the room.

 

“I'm not sure I'm following, dear,” Chris's mother frowned.

 

“I just feel like... it's sort of representative of my life...”

 

They still weren't understanding it. Chris silently screamed at them to just put two and two together so that he wouldn't have to say anything. Alas, it didn't work.

 

His father spoke again, sounding rather irritated. “Chris, please, plain English.”

 

Chris cowardly looked down at the floor. His voice started off normally, but rapidly increased in pitch and speed as he said, “I can't do what you want me to, I can't get married because I don't want to get married to a woman. You're always setting me up with all these girls, but I don't like any of them because they're girls, and I don't like girls. I never have, but I tried to think that I did and it didn't work because I'm gay.”

 

Chris was breathing heavily, waiting for his parents to react. He really couldn't take it back now.

 

He had expected his father to freak out the most, so he was very surprised to hear his mother's voice say, “Get out.” That was after she laughed in disbelief. Chris almost wished she had continued with the laughter.

 

He slowly looked up, bottom lip trembling. “What?”

 

“Get out,” she repeated, her cold manner giving her the appearance of stone. “You can take your things, all of your things, if you wish, but I want you to leave as quickly as possible and never come around here again.”

 

Chris felt his heart break, the pain just bad as when Jonathan had dumped him nearly a month prior. Except this time there was no hope left in him; at least with Jonathan, he knew they would still be friends, and for now that was good enough for him. But his own mother, the woman who raised him for the entire sixteen years he had been occupying this planet, wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Just for trying to be himself.

 

Chris's father hadn't said anything by the time Chris left the room the pack as much as he could and call Penny at work to have her come pick him up again. Her tone was so sad when he asked her, but she agreed without a second thought. Chris felt extremely grateful to have someone who actually cared about him.

 

As he stepped outside and stood on the porch of his house for what he assumed would be the last time, he noticed that the rain had let up completely; in fact, the sun was shining. And he noticed as he looked up at the sky that there was a rainbow forming. He thought maybe the weather was trying to mock him.

 

When he watched the house fade into the distance as Penny drove down the road, it felt like a part of him died. He knew that his parents weren't the greatest, that they were obviously controlling and narrow-minded people, but they were still his parents, and he still wanted their approval more than anything else.

 

*

 

Chris didn't watch the house disappear this time. He couldn't bring himself to do that. The memories had already started playing by that time, anyway, so he was too wrapped up to care.

 

A few tears splashed down onto the door of the car as he was brought back to reality. They were nearly at the house now, so Chris further instructed Alex where to stop.

 

“So... what exactly happened?” Alex inquired as he stopped in the driveway and shut off the car. “Why are you living here?”

 

“I...” Chris tried to word it without giving too much away just yet. “I disappointed our parents, I guess. They kicked me out. Twice.”

 

“No way! Seriously?” Alex laughed, but stopped when he realized it was probably inappropriate. “It's just I never imagined they would actually do that to any of us. Of course, I didn't imagine any of us would do anything to make them, either.”

 

“I didn't think they would kick me out... I just thought maybe they'd be upset for a while, but they'd get over it. Obviously, I was wrong.”

 

“Why'd they kick you out?”

 

Chris sighed and looked up at Alex. “Because I like boys and not girls,” he plainly said. “They were not happy about that.”

 

“You...?” Alex appeared to be at a loss for words, so Chris nodded. “Wow... wow. Uh... well, I mean, it's certainly not what I would have expected...”

 

“Yeah.” Chris lowered his head again and frowned at his lap. But moments later he felt his brother's hand on his back.

 

“Hey, Chris, it's cool with me,” Alex assured him. “Just a little shocked, that's all.”

 

“Really? You're OK with it?”

 

“Yeah, of course.” Alex ruffled what little hair Chris still had. “You're my baby brother, I'll always love you. Nothing could change that.”

 

“Eh, I'm their son, too, but that didn't seem to matter much.” Chris shook his head and exhaled with a bit of force. “David wouldn't like it.”

 

“Yeah, well, David's a prick,” Alex bitterly replied. “Mum and dad have him molded into the perfect human being. Because it's terrible if you maybe want to do something you actually enjoy rather than sit in a stuffy room all day wearing a suit and rattling off a bunch of law jargon you're not even sure makes sense.”

 

Chris turned his head towards Alex and actually smiled. It felt nice to finally connect with someone- someone he was closely related to. He didn't think that had ever really happened before.

 

“I want to be a writer,” he happily said.

 

“I dropped out of law school my second year,” Alex replied. “I just got tired of it. But I'm making good money now, doing graphic design. Advertisements, that sort of thing. Do you think I should tell mum and dad?”

 

“Well, I don't know,” Chris began. “On the one hand, they won't be happy, but on the other hand, it's not like they can really do anything to you. How did you manage to drop out without them noticing?”

 

Alex nonchalantly shrugged. “It was pretty damn easy. I mean, they paid for it, but they seemed to think it was a good idea to trust me with the money, so it's not like they ever got a bill or anything. I think I will tell them. I was a bit afraid before, but... man, what you did, that took guts. I'm proud of you, kid.”

 

Chris froze for a moment, replaying Alex's words in his mind until he finally decided they were real. Then he beamed and his eyes lit up as he excitedly said, “Come inside with me, I want you to meet Penny and Jay!”

 

Crap, crap crap!

This comic would have been a lot more funnier if Roadie didn't have to make a blog right before I posted this.

I made it a week ago, and had to wait for my birthday to get a scanner.

It looks a lot better, but the colouring is lacking.

So, wether I don't color it at all or just find another way to color it..

 

Ooh chalk! :surprised:

 

Anyways, here ya go.

 

Blog #119.5

 

 

 

 

 

A Heavy Heart

Chapter Ten

 

Penny looked up at her son as they both heard the noise of the front door opening. Then there were a few footsteps, and some muffled murmurs, then silence.

 

“It's about time,” Jonathan said.

 

Penny rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Is that because you want to spend every waking moment with him?” she asked, mockingly.

 

Jonathan's cheeks flushed deep red, and he opened his mouth to retort before he was cut off by a cheery Chris.

 

“Hey, guys!” Chris stood off to the side of the doorway, almost as if he was hiding something. Jonathan jumped at the chance to ignore his mother, and so he quickly spun around to see Chris.

 

“Where were you?” he asked, his urgent tone a little frightening.

 

“Jonathan, stop it,” Penny commanded. She peacefully turned her eyes to Chris. “Chris?”

 

“Oh, sorry I took so long. Uh, I ran into someone... someone I want you guys to meet.” Chris moved over and waved at the area past the doorway. “This is my brother, Alex,” he said as Alex stepped into view, drawing looks of shock from Penny and Jonathan. “Alex, Penny and Jay- uh, Jonathan.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Alex kindly said to the room. Jonathan absentmindedly grunted in return, and Penny walked over to him.

 

“It's nice to meet you,” she hesitantly repeated, the look on her face making it obvious that she was judging him.

 

“Thank you for taking Chris in.” Alex awkwardly scanned the room for a bit. “It's a little weird to think that someone else is taking care of him now.” Alex's eyes stopped on Penny, and he smiled at her. “But I'm sure you're doing a much better job.”

 

Penny seemed to approve of his statement, so she smiled back and asked, “Would you care to join us for dinner? It's not much, but you're welcome to, if you like.”

 

“Actually, I should probably get going soon. I'm supposed to be dining with my parents.” His smile faded as he looked over at Chris. “It wouldn't hurt to stay for a bit longer, though. I suspect they're not in the best mood right now.”

 

“Why is that?” Penny inquired.

 

Alex's eyes widened a little and he fumbled to make a decision. Chris was much quicker than he was. “I went to see them.”

 

For the first time since his entrance, everyone's focus shifted off of Alex. Jonathan stood up from his chair; Penny slowly and apprehensively turned herself to face Chris.

 

“You did?” Penny replied, and Chris nodded. “And...?”

 

“And I saw them,” he shrugged. “They saw me. Then we left and came back here.”

 

“They didn't say anything?”

 

“No.”

 

“Did you say anything to them?” Penny asked.

 

“No, and it wouldn't have mattered anyway.” Chris looked down at his feet. His voice had become low and cracked, and as he traced the paths of his shoelaces with his eyes he desperately wished he could stop being so sad all the time. He just wanted to be happy, why was the world so against that?

 

Suddenly the physical air around him changed as he felt the presence of two arms being wrapped around him. He didn't need to look up to know who it was; those arms had been around him enough times before that he just knew.

 

“Uh... come on, then,” Penny said to Alex. “If you won't have anything to eat, at least stay for a few minutes. I think it would mean a lot to Chris.”

 

“Yeah,” Alex agreed as he stared at his brother, making note of just how supportive these people were of Chris. It made him feel a little better.

 

Neither Chris nor Jonathan noticed when Penny and Alex walked into the kitchen, they just remained in the hallway, tightly embracing. Alex sat down beside Penny, thinking that if he sat next to her then it wouldn't be so awkward talking to her. For some reason he felt that sitting opposite her would put him under the spotlight even more so than he already was.

 

“Are you boys joining us or what?” Penny called out into the hallway.

 

“I love you,” Jonathan whispered and placed a soft kiss on Chris's ear before they broke apart and entered the other room.

 

“Oh, wait,” Chris suddenly said just before he sat down. He momentarily disappeared through the doorway, then reappeared seconds later with a white plastic bag, which he handed to Penny.

 

“Oh, thank you,” Penny cheerfully replied, grabbing the bag from Chris and bringing it over to the counter. Chris sat down and clasped his hands on the table, waiting for conversation to break out.

 

“So, Alex,” Chris began after realizing no one else was going to speak. Penny had taken her seat once again, but had felt, like Jonathan, that it was not really her place to say anything. “How's your... love life? Or whatever, just say something.”

 

Alex laughed a little. “It's, uh... well, I'm not engaged anymore. My fiance left me. Oh, and I was engaged before,” he added. Oddly he didn't seem too upset. “But what about you, eh?” Alex suggestively raised an eyebrow.

 

“Well...” Chris cautiously turned his head towards Jonathan and smiled.

 

“I kinda figured.” Alex narrowed his eyes and tilted his head to the side. “You guys do look cute together, though. As long as you're happy.”

 

“Oh, that means a lot to me,” Chris sincerely said. He wanted to say, but couldn't find the words, that Alex's approval was nearly the most important thing in the world, certainly very high on the list. He was largely convinced that there would never be another person in his family who accepted him. Luckily, the bond between the two brothers was strong enough that Alex understood all of that without being told.

 

Their conversation lasted for another ten minutes before Alex announced that he must be on his way. Penny and Jonathan bid him farewell from the kitchen, but Chris took the liberty of walking Alex back out to his car.

 

“I'll talk to mum and dad for you,” Alex told him as he stood behind the open car door.

 

“I don't think I'll make any difference,” Chris said, “but thank you.”

 

Alex looked at him for a second longer, then reached into his car and pulled out some sort of card. He handed it to Chris and said, “Call me sometime, yeah?”

 

Chris looked at the card; it was a business card for what he assumed what Alex's graphic design company. When he brought his eyes back up, Alex was already fully in his car. He waved, then stood for a while and watched as Alex pulled out of the driveway and took off down the road.

 

As he walked back inside, he had the strange feeling like he had just lived through an entire week's worth of events in one hour. The wafting smell of dinner stroked his nostrils, and momentarily his thoughts subsided as he realized that he was rather famished.

 

He almost shoveled down his food, receiving an odd glare from Penny. “Geez, Chris, you'd think you hadn't eaten in days,” she said.

 

Chris slowly chewed that which he currently had in his mouth, then swallowed and pointlessly replied, “Oh.”

 

Jonathan wasn't paying attention to either of them; he was too busy absentmindedly swirling his fork around his plate. The patterns left behind by the trailing prongs were pretty, but he didn't care. He was rather worried about going to school the next day.

 

Would anyone say anything about he and Chris? Of course they would, though maybe not to their faces. Jonathan wasn't sure which would be harder to handle, furtive gossip or upfront degradation. He knew Chris dealt with both all the time, but at the moment he was more worried about himself, which he realized was really selfish. But it wasn't entirely his fault; he'd never been in this sort of situation before, and he was quite afraid of finding out what his reaction would be to the opinions of everyone else.

 

“Jonathan,” Penny said very loudly, and as he snapped out of it, Jonathan guessed that she had been trying to catch his focus for a while. “Are you all right?”

 

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Jonathan coolly said.

 

Penny stared at him, disbelieving. “Well, will you help me clean up, please?”

 

“Sure.” It took Jonathan a few seconds to realize that Chris was already gone from the table and seemingly the kitchen in general. “Where's Chris?” he asked.

 

“Are you sure you're OK?” Penny stood in front of Jonathan and carefully examined his facial features.

 

“Yeah...”

 

“Chris went up to his room. Said he was exhausted. Jonathan,” Penny firmly placed her hand on Jonathan's cheek, “what's going on?”

 

“Mum, I-”

 

“You can tell me all you like that you're fine,” she interrupted. “I'm smart enough to know that you're lying.”

 

“I am fine,” Jonathan stubbornly replied, prying his mother's hand from his face. “I was just thinking about school tomorrow is all.”

 

Jonathan was hoping that would satisfy her, but Penny just looked at him sympathetically. “You're worried about the other kids bullying you?” she asked, though it was actually more of a statement than a question. “Listen, Jonathan, you're happy with Chris, right?”

 

Jonathan nodded decisively. “And I know that's all that should matter,” he said, guessing the advice his mother was about to give him, “but...”

 

“It's still tough to deal with all that other stuff,” Penny finished. “Think of it this way, any time anyone says something to you, it's just them vocalizing their own insecurities. You've found something that makes you happy, and you're willing to accept that it may not be what everyone else considers normal. A lot of people only wish they could do that.”

 

“Thank you,” Jonathan quietly replied, feeling that he had nothing else to say.

 

Penny smiled at him then went about clearing the table. Jonathan helped here and there, though there wasn't much for him to do with only two plates that had been left behind. Penny brought the plates to the sink, and Jonathan decided to wipe down the table's surface until he felt it was clean enough.

 

Once the task was completed, Jonathan went upstairs with the intention of resting in his room. But just before his hand reached the knob of his door, he had the sudden urge to see what Chris was up to.

 

Chris didn't seem to be up to much of anything. He was sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed, cradling in his hands what looked like a rock of some sort. He was just staring intently at it, though not so intently that he didn't notice Jonathan standing at his doorway.

 

“Hey, Jay,” he said without shifting his eyes at all.

 

“Hey...” Jonathan took a few steps into Chris's room and closer to the bed, but he kept his distance. “Uh, I was just.... just wondering what you were doing. If maybe you wanted any company, or...”

 

Chris smiled at Jonathan and gently patted the empty space beside him. Jonathan awkwardly sat down, then turned his head and found that Chris's bright blue eyes were trying to pierce through him.

 

“Your company is always welcome, love,” Chris said brightly. He flipped the rock around in his hands, all the while still staring at Jonathan. Jonathan watched Chris's hands.

 

“Why do you have a rock?” Jonathan asked, a little judgmentally.

 

“Um... sentimental reasons.” Chris blinked a few times, then chuckled and looked down at his hands. “I nicked it from the school the first day I talked to you. It was one of the ones you were standing on.”

 

“Oh. That's... normal. And not creepy at all.”

 

Chris opened his mouth to speak before he had actually prepared any words to use. He took a deep breath and utilized the time to think. “It was an important day for me.”

 

“Well, I guess it was important for me, too,” Jonathan said.

 

Chris set down the rock, then stared at Jonathan for a few moments. “Can I ask something of you, Jonathan?”

 

“What?” Jonathan asked. “And should I be afraid?”

 

Chris laughed. “I don't think you should be afraid.” He reached out and at first grabbed a random part of Jonathan's arm, but ultimately held on to only Jonathan's hand, clasping it firmly between his own hands. “Will you tell me about, um, when you got that note from me? And stuff like that. I'd like to hear how you felt about it,” he bashfully added, bowing his head a little.

 

“Yeah, OK,” Jonathan replied after a moment of silence. Chris smiled and moved a bit closer to Jonathan. “Well, I was coming back from... whatever class I was coming back from, and I stopped at my locker. When I opened it the note was on the door- wait,” Jonathan interrupted himself and furrowed his brows, “how did you get the note inside my locker? It was, you know, locked.”

 

“Oh.” Chris thought for a few seconds, then said, “It's not something I'm exactly proud of, but back then people would do anything I asked them to. So I got some kid to break into your locker for me.” Chris scrunched up his nose and made a pained expression. “Sorry.”

 

“I wouldn't be sorry, I think that's what got us to where we are now.” Chris raised his eyebrows as if to say that Jonathan had made a good point. “Anyway, um... yeah. I saw the note, and at first I was like, what the hell? I didn't exactly know who you were, even though I'd heard your name and probably seen you around before, but still, I was really confused. I actually almost forgot to meet you, but luckily I remembered when I was walking out of the school.”

 

Chris laughed, which was a relief; Jonathan had thought for a second that Chris might have been a tad angered by that. “Well, then it's a very good thing you remembered.”

 

“It is, indeed. And then I found you, and I still had no freaking clue what was going on. Then you asked me... you asked me if I was seeing anyone. That caught me off guard, definitely.” Jonathan paused briefly, staring right into Chris's eyes. “I couldn't say no to you. Even if I had wanted to, which for some strange reason I didn't. There was just something about you, I guess.”

 

“Is that why you love me now?” Chris innocently asked. “Just... something?”

 

Jonathan smiled and closed his hand around Chris's. “I love you now because you're a fantastic person. You're very sweet, and funny, and... you're still the only boy I would ever call gorgeous.”

 

Chris grinned back at Jonathan, but the look in his eyes told Jonathan that he was about to hear something far more emotional than his own tale had been. Jonathan braced himself, knowing full well just how affected Chris could be at times.

 

“One day I was walking through the cafeteria, and I saw you,” Chris said. “Then I just got this feeling that you were different from everyone else... maybe like I was different... I couldn't stop thinking about you after that. For, like, a week I was trying to think of some way to talk to you. And I realized that I liked you. You were the first boy I ever actually liked.”

 

“I was?”

 

“Yeah. It was scary to think that, because I was still really confused, and up until then I had, you know, just looked at boys every now and then. It never really dawned on me... like, I knew I wasn't exactly 'normal' as I think most people would put it, but I was unsure of how, you know what I mean?” Chris paused, and Jonathan nodded slightly. “When I saw you, I was sure. Of course, I tried to convince myself that it was just you.”

 

“I couldn't imagine going through all that,” Jonathan quietly said.

 

Chris frowned and looked down at their joined hands. “That's why I was so unfaithful to you, Jay. I really hate myself for acting like that.”

 

“You shouldn't,” Jonathan told him. “It's understandable. And I might have done the same if I were you.”

 

“No,” Chris replied, shaking his head, “you're a much better person than I am. Than I used to be.”

 

As Jonathan looked at Chris, he remembered his recent fears. “Chris, I need your help.”

 

“Sure,” Chris said, not even bothering to question his request. But Jonathan felt compelled to explain.

 

“I need you to teach me to be strong like you. I want people to know about us, but I can't say that I'll be able to handle the... criticism.” Jonathan sighed uneasily. “I'm sure it's not easy, but you seem to do a good job of not letting people get to you.”

 

Chris smiled kindly and shrugged. “They're just insecure, right?” As Chris said it, Penny's voice echoed in Jonathan's mind. “Whatever they say, they're just talking about themselves.”

 

“Is it really that simple?”

 

“Nothing's ever that simple, Jay,” Chris said with a contradicting grin stretched across his face. “But if you tell yourself that often enough, eventually you start to believe it, even if only a tiny bit at first. Then the rest gets easier to deal with.”

 

 

Arrow & Bow

 

Chapter 7

 

 

That morning, I called up my boss. I told him that due to a family matter, I would not be at work that day. I hung up the phone before he got the chance to ask for specifics.

 

I wasn’t required to give the details of my absence, and I certainly wasn’t going to make casual conversation out of it. It was bad enough that Madison had to know.

 

I checked my cell phone. I had a text, from Sarah. She wanted to bring Madison over after preschool. Although she didn’t mention it, the implication was that it would be then that we would talk to her.

 

I simply replied back “okay”. I wished I felt okay. But my stomach was in knots and I thought I might have developed a nervous twitch. I needed to shake off those feelings. I had to be calm for Madison’s sake, and Sarah’s too.

 

Being trapped inside my little apartment was not helping my nerves. I decided to go for another walk. But this time I did intend to go to the park. For some reason, that homeless man was stuck in my mind. There was something about him that made my fears go away. I was hoping to see him there.

 

The weather was quite a bit more autumn-like that day, so I donned my jacket before heading out. It’s a good thing I did too, because I didn’t notice the rain clouds until it was too late. Unfortunately the jacket did not include a hood, but I did have a hat, and the jacket kept most of the soaking rain from reaching my skin.

 

By the time I reached the park the rain had settled into a light drizzle. I figured the man would be hiding out in the tunnel because of the weather. But he was sitting under a tree just like the last time. And he still had that guitar. I walked right up to him without feeling intrusive or nervous like I had before.

 

“Aren’t those strings going to rust if you keep that guitar out in the rain? And won’t the wood begin to warp?” My own boldness surprised me. Something about this man just compelled me to speak.

 

He twitched and shifted his guitar in his arms. He looked up at me with those large eyes of his.

 

“You’re ready now,” he said. As was custom, he ignored my questions.

 

“Ready for what?” I asked.

 

He smiled in a secretive way. “You are ready to hear me play.”

 

I think I could feel my face lighting up.

 

“But first I must ask a question of my own. What changed?”

 

“What do you mean?” I wondered.

 

“Yesterday your eyes were quiet and sad. Today they are sadder still, but there is a certain boldness within them.”

 

I had no idea how he could see anything of that sort in my eyes. But upon consideration of his words I realized that they rung true.

 

“Well, there is something important that I must do today. I have to relay some very bad news to someone I love dearly. It hurts me that I have to do it, but she deserves to know.”

 

The man nodded as if he could somehow understand my vague description. I don’t know, maybe really he could. He was (and is) quite special.

 

“Well then here is a tune for you and your niece.”

 

I let another shocked expression creep onto my face. Funny, he never liked to answer the questions I did ask, but he did answer the question I didn’t ask out loud.

 

“It’s obvious. You clearly don’t have a wife or a girlfriend or a boyfriend, because you spend far too much time wandering around instead of being with them. And when you brought Maddie to the park I could tell how much you cared about her.”

 

“You are something else,” I told him. He shrugged and began to play. If I didn’t know I had happened upon a very special gift yet, I certainly knew it then. His playing was like nothing I had ever heard before.

 

Don’t judge me here, but it was so amazing because it wasn’t amazing. It was just a bunch of odd sounding noises thrown together. It didn’t even resemble a tune. It consisted of idle plucks of the strings in random order. And it was beautiful. The complete and utter chaos of it was just beautiful.

 

In a world where things were expected to be good and decent and lovely all of the time, it was great to hear something that was out of tune. Hearing the man play made me feel like all of my problems were just a part of life. I don’t know how or why, but I felt a burden being lifted off of me then, at least partially.

 

I sat down in front of him as be played paying no mind to the wet and muddy ground. He seemed to relax once I was at eye level with him. His playing became more relaxed and his eyes seemed to dance along with the music.

 

I tried to tap the tune on my leg, but it was impossible. There was no tune, there was no melody. There was only the sweet sound of pandemonium.

 

I laid down, allowing the mud to coat my back. I didn’t care. I think I saw the man smile at this odd action of mine. Soon after that, he was finished.

 

He abruptly removed his fingers from the strings. I sat up. We looked at each other for a long time without saying a word. Then I thanked him.

 

He smiled back. “My name is Christopher Anthony John Martin. I do hope I will be able to play for you again sometime.” H

 

e grabbed hold of my hand suddenly and shook it. It was so odd I had to laugh. I half expected him to hand me a professional business card.

 

“I hope so too,” I told him. Then I stood and left; so much more prepared for the evening then than I had been before.

 

 

 

A Heavy Heart

Chapter Eleven

 

The large wheels stopped mere feet away from Chris and Jonathan as the big yellow bus screeched to a halt. The sound of compressed air whooshed as the doors opened.

 

“This is our big day, Jay,” Chris beamed as the two boys sat down in a seat towards the back of the bus. Most of the other seats had already been taken by the students whose bus-stops preceded theirs; a few kids had snickered as they watched Chris pass by. “Isn't it?”

 

“Yeah, it is.” Jonathan tried to smile back, but it didn't work out so well. His eyes scanned the parts of the bus ahead of them, anticipating heads turning and glaring at them in any second.

 

Chris leaned over and gave Jonathan a kiss on the cheek. “Don't be nervous, love.”

 

“Right, easier said than done,” Jonathan replied. Chris slipped his hand under Jonathan's, interlacing their fingers and giving a reassuring squeeze.

 

The bus stopped again not far down the road. As Devon walked up and took the seat next to them, Chris pulled his arm back so that his and Jonathan's hands, though still joined, were hidden from sight. Jonathan momentarily looked down at the spot on his lap that now felt cool without the presence of body heat radiating towards it, then raised his eyes questioningly to Chris.

 

“Hey, Jon,” Devon casually said. Jonathan snapped his head around frowned.

 

“Hey, Devon,” he said. He quickly glanced back at Chris, who was wearing a look of near terror. For a second Jonathan wondered how he could be brave when even Chris truly wasn't, but that thought went as quickly as it came and he found himself revealing more to Devon than Devon would have liked to hear. “Chris and I are back together.”

 

“Jon, it's not April yet, cool it with the jokes.” Devon didn't even bother to look up from the books in his hands, until he realized that Jonathan wasn't going to reply. He slowly lifted his head and saw the seriousness on Jonathan's face. “You...what?”

 

Jonathan felt Chris flinch beside him. He took Chris's hand and brought it back into view. “We're back together.”

 

Devon stared at them bug-eyed; his face was tinted with the threat of vomiting. His mouth faltered, desperately grasping in the air for words to use, but finding nothing except empty space.

 

“Do you think he's gonna flip out?” Chris quietly mumbled into Jonathan's ear.

 

Without looking away from Devon, Jonathan affirmed. “If he doesn't, then something's definitely wrong.”

 

Perhaps it was not as much of a dramatic scene as either of the boys had prepared for. When Devon seemed to finally comprehend just what was going on, he shot a few looks of certain dislike their way then turned his focus to the window and the outside world that was passing by.

 

“I guess that's close enough,” Jonathan quietly said as he set his eyes upon Chris. And just then, something made him smile; maybe it was the way the sunlight dripped into the bus and soaked Chris in a golden hue. Chris's bright blue eyes were lit with fear, but as they met Jonathan's he relaxed a little and smiled back.

 

“It'll be OK,” Chris said, probably to himself more than Jonathan. “I think that might have been the scariest part.”

 

“Yeah,” Jonathan replied, and suddenly their positions were switched again. Chris was his normal happy-go-lucky self, and Jonathan almost tried to sink into the bus seat and disappear forever.

 

Although no one noticed them even after they walked off the bus and into the school, Jonathan's paranoia was still at a maximum height. He kept glancing around the halls, the feeling that a thousand eyes were all on them at any given time crushing him like a bug. Chris noticed this, but he was smart enough to see that there was no real way to convince Jonathan otherwise except to just let him live and find out for himself.

 

They drew closer and closer to Chris's locker, and Jonathan started to panic even more. Sure, he could stand there with Chris and wait for him to get his books, but they would have to part at some time. Then what? Would Chris try to kiss him goodbye? Not that he didn't want that. He actually really wanted to kiss Chris- really wanted to, but those thousand eyes made him hesitate at the mere thought.

 

A few feet from the locker, a teacher stood outside of his door, observing the students going about their daily morning routines. As he saw Jonathan and Chris pass by, he quickly called out, “Hey, Jonathan! May I speak with you for a minute?”

 

Jonathan breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah, sure.” He quickly looked back at Chris, who smiled knowingly.

 

“See you later.”

 

Their hands broke apart and Jonathan disappeared into the distance as Chris walked on.

 

Some kids were loitering by Chris's locker, but he was used to that. More often than not they would harass him, but today seemed to be going extra well for him. All they did was just stare for a moment then move over so they were as far away from him as possible without actually leaving the area. One of the kids must have had a locker right there.

 

As his locker door swung open, so appeared a face covered in piercings and hidden away by a mass of dark brown hair. “Hey, Chris.”

 

Chris cautiously looked up, as he thought he had heard a hint of aggression in the voice. But he was relieved to see that it was just Damien, who seemed to be donning a new hoop in his eyebrow.

 

“Hey, Damien,” Chris said. “Nice, uh...” Chris gestured around his own eyebrow, “eyebrow ring... thing...”

 

“Thanks,” Damien coolly replied.

 

“Yeah. Uh, anyway, how was your weekend?”

 

Damien shrugged. “It was all right. Got to stay home and sleep in for two days. How was yours?”

 

“It was... the best weekend of my life,” Chris beamed.

 

“Oh, yeah? How so?”

 

“Uh... I don't know that I should say-”

 

“Ohhhh, who is he?” Damien immediately interrupted. Chris's jaw dropped in slightly fake surprise.

 

“Damien!”

 

“Did you sleep with him?” Damien's invasive and ridiculous questions were started to make Chris fluster a little.

 

“No, I didn't sleep with him, we live in the same house and his mother...” Chris trailed off before he said any more, though he knew that he'd already said too much.

 

“So it's Jonathan?” Damien asked, and Chris nodded. “Well, congratulations. You've liked him for a while, haven't you?”

 

“I think I always liked him,” Chris shrugged.

 

“And he's straight, right? That's even more impressive.”

 

“I guess it is...”

 

Silence merged its way between the two and stayed until the bell rang. Then they both left separate ways without speaking another word, but it was a sort of ritual for them. Along with this came the long route around the room that Chris took to avoid the other kids in his homeroom.

 

It was all normal, a normal day in school, doing normal scholarly things. Chris swerved in the halls on his way to his classes to avoid those trying to get to him, he tried to pay attention to whatever the hell the teacher was talking about and not get wrapped up in thinking about Jonathan, and he lost his pen somewhere between Math and English. Typical stuff, really.

 

Soon, though it felt like far too long for his teenage heart, he met up with Jonathan once again as they walked to the boys' locker room.

 

“How was your day so far?” Chris chirped.

 

“Well, I talked to Devon again. He said that he would tell me how he felt about this if he hadn't promised his mum not to use unnecessary language from now on.”

 

Chris rolled his eyes and found that he had nothing to say in return. At least, everything that he could say he felt was too obvious to say, and so he kept his mouth shut. But as the two boys walked through the door into the locker room, Chris decided to take Jonathan's hand and lead them past the usuals.

 

“Oh, look, it's spreading,” came the voice of Thomas. Jonathan merely shot him a nasty look, but oddly enough Chris was not satisfied by that. He stopped, nearly causing Jonathan to bump into him, and turned sharply.

 

For nearly half a minute he just glared with a look of death in his eyes, then finally spoke through clenched teeth. “If it is spreading, then you should watch out. You know who else has got it? Your little friend Nolan.”

 

Nearly everyone's jaws dropped and they all looked to Nolan, whose face was beet red and his eyes wide with horror. Chris stormed off, though immediately he calmed down and began to regret his behavior. Jonathan thought it was spectacular.

 

“Chris, that was... that was awesome!”

 

“I shouldn't have done that,” Chris said, shaking his head and striding on with determination.

 

“Shouldn't have done what?” Jonathan replied, his tone itching with annoyance. “Defended yourself?”

 

Chris stopped abruptly and spun around. “I shouldn't have told them that. He didn't want anyone to know... It wasn't my place to say it.”

 

He frowned at the floor and his ears ached as the sounds of the other boys commenting on their newfound knowledge began to fill the room and echo off the walls. Jonathan watched him sympathetically, then decided he needed to change as quickly as possible.

 

Chris soon did the same, and it seemed like all he did was blink before the class was over and they were back in there, changing this time from the gym clothes into their normal clothes.

 

Before they left the locker room, Chris stopped by the door. Nolan was sitting where he usually stood, staring into space with a look of despair. Chris quickly glanced back at Jonathan, who nodded in understanding.

 

“Nolan, I'm sorry.” Chris sat down next to the poor blond-haired boy. “I know I should have kept that to myself, but it just kinda slipped... Your friends are such jerks. If they really are your friends, even.”

 

“I guess they're not anymore,” Nolan replied, his voice dry as dust.

 

“I'm really sorry.”

 

Nolan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, he looked at Chris and said, “I kinda wanted to tell people anyway. I guess now I don't really have to.”

 

“Yeah, see, there's always a bright side,” Chris said, and he awkwardly laughed a little.

 

News spread like wildfire; within the few minutes that it took Chris and Jonathan to travel from the locker room to Chris's locker to the cafeteria, it seemed as though everyone had been informed of not only Nolan's sexuality, but of Chris and Jonathan's relationship.

 

Even though they were no longer holding hands- in fact, Jonathan was a few paces ahead of Chris, rushing to escape the spotlight- it seemed as if everyone just knew. They automatically knew, and they felt the need to either stare or point or mutter under their breath.

 

“Jay,” Chris said as they stopped at their table, “walking fast isn't going to make them disappear.”

 

“I know,” Jonathan replied. He dropped his bag in his chair and took Chris's arm. Chris barely had time to set his own stuff down before Jonathan dragged him across the cafeteria to where the lunch lines were.

 

“At least they're only talking. It could be a lot worse.”

 

Jonathan stared at the floor, then lifted his eyes to Chris. “It just takes time, right?”

 

Chris smiled and nodded. “Right. And,” he leaned in close to Jonathan and whispered in his ear, “I won't let anyone hurt you. You have nothing to worry about.” He brought his hand up and quickly brushed his thumb over Jonathan's cheek.

 

The line moved forward a bit, and so Chris and Jonathan stepped along with it. A few of the people in front of them were talking about Nolan- at least, Chris had thought he heard them talking about Nolan. Then he felt bad, but he knew, like with many other things he had done in his life, that there was no taking it back. But maybe it would turn out for the best.

 

Not more than five minutes later, Jonathan cautiously put his tray on the table. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Chris walk around him and to his own seat. Jonathan made a split-second decision, and moved before Chris even had a chance to sit down.

 

The next few moments became tangled up in Chris's mind; one minute he was setting his tray down, then the next his head was being pulled up by Jonathan's hands, and then Jonathan kissed him. Right there, in the middle of the cafeteria, with all those people around them, Jonathan kissed him. Chris was so stunned that for a few seconds he forgot to react; once he remembered, he laid his hands on Jonathan's sides and kissed him back.

 

The room quieted around them, but neither really noticed. Soon people regained their consciousness and voices and began booing. Some even called out awful and degrading names.

 

Despite all that, as the two boys pulled apart and Chris rested his forehead against Jonathan's, they both smiled. Nothing felt better than showing the world their love, even if it meant negative consequences.

 

“I love you so much, Jay,” Chris quietly said.

 

“I love you, too. Do you think maybe we should get out of here?”

 

Chris quickly leaned forward and their lips briefly met again. “Yeah. Let's leave before people start to riot.”

 

They shared a small laugh and hurriedly gathered their things. On the way out of the cafeteria they faced several obstacles, the least of which being a rather large kid blocking the door, though not purposely; he had been speaking with his friend the whole time, so he missed the display entirely.

 

“Excuse me, 'scuse me,” Chris said in a rushed tone, and it took a few tries before the kid heard him. He moved, and shot Chris a look as though he felt Chris was being rather rude, interrupting his conversation like that.

 

Jonathan had never actually thought of where they would go when they left the cafeteria, but Chris seemed to have it covered. They walked through the halls, silent except for the muffled voices contained within the classrooms around them. One door was open, and it was into this room that Chris led Jonathan.

 

“Mr. Phillips?”

 

The teacher sitting at his desk looked up at the two boys. He smiled kindly and replied, “Yes, Chris?”

 

“Would it be all right for Jonathan and I to stay and eat lunch in here?”

 

“Sure.” Chris nodded for Jonathan to follow him into the room, and they both took seats relatively close to Mr. Phillips's desk. “May I ask why, though?”

 

“We're trying to... avoid opposition from the public,” Chris lamely explained.

 

Mr. Phillips lowered his eyelids a little. “How so?”

 

“People can be nasty, especially if they see the gay kid kiss his boyfriend. That doesn't please them, really.”

 

Mr. Phillips breathed, looking as if he was trying to stifle a detailed response. “Right. Well, I would have to agree with you there.” He looked down at the papers on his desk, and drummed his hands on the surface. “Oh, by the way, I read your novel, Chris, and I must say I was impressed. Have you considered trying to get published?”

 

“Really, published??” Chris replied with wide eyes. “You think it's that good?”

 

“Yes,” Mr. Phillips said. “Now, granted, it's a difficult and taxing process, and you probably won't succeed at first, but what you've got is a great story. The overall plot is wonderful. It seems like you've got quite a few subplots going on, but everything wraps up nicely in the end. The character development is superb, and frankly it seems as though the span of your vocabulary is wide enough to fill an entire dictionary itself.”

 

Chris blushed and ducked his head. Jonathan thought he looked kinda cute like that. “Well, thank you,” he quietly said.

 

“Which one is it?” Jonathan asked Chris. Chris slowly looked up, his eyes bulging ever so slightly.

 

“It's, uh... one you haven't read.” Chris pressed his lips together so there was barely any space between them and mumbled, “Because it's about you.”

 

“Because what?”

 

“I wrote it about you,” Chris said a little louder. “Well, I didn't mean to write it about you, and I didn't even realize that I did at first. But then I went over it again and... I wrote it about you.”

 

Jonathan thought for a few moments, Chris watching him and hoping his reaction wouldn't be bad. “Can I read it?” he asked, to both Chris's relief and dismay.

 

“I guess. Honestly, I think it might be the best one I've written so far.”

 

“When did you write it?”

 

In Chris's eyes flashed a quick sadness, an almost bittersweet expression. “The first time we were together. It's not so obvious that it's about you. It's just... well, you at least influenced it heavily.”

 

“If you'd like, you can have my copy and start reading now,” Mr. Phillips interjected. “Though you might find it hard to put down.”

 

Jonathan walked up to Mr. Phillips's desk and took the stack of papers from him. “Thanks.”

 

As Jonathan sat back down at his seat, he glanced at the cover. Typed neatly in the center of the page, black ink in size 12 font were the words Stares From Green Eyes.

 

Somehow Jonathan felt that maybe it hadn't been titled that originally. That or Chris had really been in denial about Jonathan's impact on the story.

 

 

Arrow & Bow

 

Chapter 8

 

 

Lying in the mud had made me feel rather disgusting, so I showered as soon as I got home. I put on fresh clothes. I didn’t know what else to do. There wasn’t even anything to clean. The whole place was still spotless from that rushed Sunday morning cleanup. I let the events of the day play out in my head.

 

Like an iPod on repeat, I kept hearing the sound of the man’s guitar in my head over and over. Christopher’s guitar. Chris’s guitar. Yes, I liked that.

 

I wondered if he would mind me calling him by that nickname. In my experience, nicknames were something to be loved. I always wanted to be called Jonny, or even Jon. And I knew that Madison loved to be called Maddie.

 

I decided I would ask him next time. Not that I really expected to get an answer. Honestly, I didn’t even expect that there would be a next time. But I wanted there to be one all the same and I didn’t quite know why just yet.

 

While I was in the middle of pondering this, I heard a knock at my door. I was almost positive it would be Sarah. A quick look through the peephole confirmed my beliefs.

 

I opened the door and was dismayed by what I saw. Sarah was standing there, and little Maddie was standing in front of her. But she was crying. Sarah’s hands were holding her protectively by the shoulders.

 

I looked at her, my eyes full of questions. She gave me a slight shake of the head, as if to say, not now. So I merely opened the door and gestured that they come inside.

 

I took Madison’s hand and led her to the couch. “Sit down and rest honey,” I commanded, albeit gently. I whispered in Sarah’s ear. “The kitchen,” I told her.

 

She nodded and followed me there. I sat down at the table and she sat across from me. “So what happened?” I asked.

 

Sarah’s face contorted into something that was a mix of terrible sadness and extreme fury. “The teacher,” she whispered. “That teacher.”

 

“You’re going to have to be a bit clearer than that,” I said calmly.

 

She sighed. Slowly she began to speak again. “That teacher….she told her. She told her Jonathon.”

 

“The preschool teacher, you mean?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Told her what?”

 

“That damn teacher told her that Jackson was going to die!” She slapped her hands down hard on the wooden table and broke into tears.

 

“Shhhh,” I whispered softly. “Settle down. You don’t want to upset Maddie do you?”

 

“Look at her,” she cried, gesturing towards the other room. “She is already upset! Can you believe what that bitch did!? She just went right up to her and said that!”

 

I rested my hand on hers and tried to speak as calmly as I could. I was fighting back against my own fury. I could feel it building up inside of me. How dare that teacher think that she had the right to tell my sweet little niece such difficult information! But I reined those emotions in, for the sake of Sarah.

 

“How did the teacher know about this?” I asked.

 

“I told her….but it was only so she wouldn’t be surprised if Maddie was looking sad or depressed! I didn’t know she would….”

 

“It’s okay,” I interrupted. “This isn’t your fault.”

 

“I am getting her fired. I will make sure of it,” she growled. I didn’t even bother with a response to that. Once Sarah had it in her mind to do something, she would do it. And I thought Miss Kim deserved what was coming to her.

 

“Shouldn’t we go and comfort her?” My eyes moved in the direction of the other room, where Madison was curled up on the couch, looking ever so small.

 

“Yeah.” She even allowed herself a tiny smile. I knew she appreciated how much I cared about Madison.

 

I approached her first. She looked so delicate, just lying there. Her eyes were red from crying but I did not see any more tears. “How are you feeling Maddie?” I asked her kindly. I knelt down beside her and stroked her head.

 

“I am doing badly Uncle Jonny,” she said plainly. “Miss Kim lied to me.”

 

“She lied to you? What do you mean?”

 

“She told me that daddy was gonna….die.” She barely whispered the last word.

 

Sarah and I exchanged looks. This was going to be even more difficult than we had anticipated. She came over to the couch and leaned down next to me. She kissed Madison lightly on the forehead.

 

“Sweetie….” She paused for a moment, but did not falter. “Miss Kim was right. Your father, he is very sick. He won’t be alive for much longer. The sickness is going to kill him.”

 

I admired her. I didn’t know how to make myself do something so difficult and painful. She was a lot braver than me, no matter how fearless I pretended to be. And upon watching Madison’s reaction, I saw that the same qualities her mother possessed in this regard were also within her.

 

Throughout Sarah’s somber explanation, Madison lay there and listened quietly. Her eyes looked focused. I searched for any signs of tears. But it seemed she had decided that the time for crying was over.

 

She never had been a big crier, like many children are. It reinforced my belief of her high maturity level. She had the ability to understand when something was beyond her control. Kneeling there, watching her, I vowed to try and be more like that.

 

“I want to see daddy,” she said.

 

Sarah smiled, and I saw her brush away a tear. “I will take you to see him tomorrow morning.”

 

“But what about school?”

 

“You aren’t going to be going back to school for a few days.” Only I heard the angry undertones of her words.

 

“Oh, okay,” she replied, sounding disappointed. I was surprised that she still didn’t seem to mind Miss Kim at all. But I suppose that is how children are; overlooking the bad and people and only seeing the good.

 

“Mommy?” she asked quietly.

 

“What is it honey?”

 

“Can I stay with Uncle Jonny tonight? His couch smells like Daddy.”

 

“That’s because neither of them clean as much as they should,” she chuckled. “Of course you can stay,” she added. “As long as it is okay with Jonathon.” She looked towards me for an answer and I immediately nodded.

 

“Okay, then it’s settled.” She kissed Madison goodbye and on the way out she stopped to whisper in my ear. “I knew I could count on you.”

 

Once she left I turned to Madison and noticed that she was already asleep. She must have worn herself out from crying earlier. I grabbed an extra blanket and laid it on her gently. I whispered a goodnight in her ear. At least I was good for something.

 

 

A Heavy Heart

Chapter Twelve

 

 

It took Jonathan two weeks to read Chris's story. It truly was as amazing as Mr. Phillips had said, and possibly even better. But perhaps Jonathan was just a little biased.

 

Chris was too embarrassed to ask what Jonathan's opinion was, mostly because he was a bit afraid that it would be negative. It was quite the opposite though; Jonathan almost loved Chris just a little bit more for that story. Even if it hadn't been about him, he thought that he would have felt the same.

 

Certainly, it seemed as though everyday he was thinking about Chris more often, which was a feat in and of itself, because he thought of Chris a lot. Almost every waking minute, even.

 

Something came over him one day. He wasn't exactly sure what or why, and it was this feeling like he had never experienced before, but it was so overpowering. When they came home from school he quickly threw his bag on his floor then left to see Chris.

 

Chris was sitting on his bed, reading. He looked so innocent, and it made the desire burn hotter through Jonathan's veins. After standing quietly for a few minutes, Jonathan slightly leaned back and pressed the sole of his foot against the door.

 

The sound of the door clicking shut made Chris look up.

 

“Jay, we're not supposed to have the door closed.” Jonathan paid his words no attention, and just walked away from the door and towards Chris's bed. “Jay,” he said, more pressingly, “your mum-”

 

“My mum's not home,” Jonathan replied in a husky voice. “She won't be home for hours.”

 

Chris set down the book he had been reading and stared into Jonathan's eyes as Jonathan climbed onto his bed and over his body. His breathing became labored as Jonathan came closer and closer, until finally their bodies were pressed together.

 

Chris sunk his fingers into Jonathan's hair as their lips met, and Jonathan experienced the oh so familiar feel of Chris's tongue massaging his own. Within ten seconds Jonathan's hands slid up from the surface of Chris's sheets to the tiny bits of skin peeking out from under Chris's shirt.

 

“What if your mum comes home early?” Chris breathily asked.

 

“Then we'll make this quick,” Jonathan answered throatily, slipping his fingers under the hem of Chris's shirt and using the backs of his wrists to move the fabric as his hands ran up Chris's bare skin. When he felt the bumps of Chris's ribs he noticed Chris shiver a little.

 

Chris gently pulled his hands from Jonathan's hair, lifting his arms up slowly to allow Jonathan to more easily remove his shirt. Once the bothersome clothing had been tossed carelessly to the floor, Jonathan's mouth resumed its place combining forces with Chris's.

 

Chris never seemed like a very strong boy. He was athletic, sure, but more with cardiovascular than anything else. His lanky frame would lead anyone to believe that he was a rather fragile person, even someone who he was intimate with.

 

Or maybe they hadn't been intimate enough, because Jonathan certainly found out that Chris was about twenty times stronger than he looked, and was able to push Jonathan over to the other side of the bed without any warning whatsoever.

 

And Jonathan kinda liked the dominating side of Chris- perhaps one of the reasons he stayed with Chris for so long the first time- so he didn't mind letting Chris take control.

 

“Actually, I think,” Chris began, resting his hand on Jonathan's stomach and making small circles with his thumb, “it wouldn't be so bad if we took it... slow.”

 

Jonathan's face grew hot at Chris's touch; even through the material his movements were far too much. Jonathan closed his eyes and by some miracle Chris was able, in that small amount of time, to completely remove Jonathan's shirt. Then Chris was keeping true to his word, focusing his kisses on Jonathan's neck first, only moving downwards ever so slowly. Jonathan almost felt bad about just laying there and leaving Chris to do all the work, but he forgot to because he was too busy thinking about where Chris would go next.

 

What seemed to Jonathan like hours later, Chris looked up at him and in a quiet voice asked, “Jay, are you sure you want to do this?”

 

“I'm sure,” Jonathan replied without taking his eyes off the ceiling. But seconds later Chris's face was blocking his view.

 

“One hundred percent sure?” There was a look in his eyes that nearly resembled worry.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Chris brought his hand up and laid it against Jonathan's cheek. “It's just... this means a lot to me, I want to know that you won't... regret it.”

 

“I won't. I never would,” Jonathan softly said, and Chris believed him.

 

He saw Chris smile, but only for a fraction of a second before Chris disappeared again. Then he felt Chris's presence drawing dangerously close to the lower half of his torso. Chris's soft, wet lips were placed down in small intervals along his abdomen, and then there was a slight pressure as Chris reached out and undid the button of Jonathan's jeans.

 

He could barely remember anything after that, except for the one thing he was certain of:

 

It felt so good.

 

Jonathan's leg twitched and his eyes fluttered open. He heard an odd whooshing sound, and as his consciousness returned he realized it was his heavy breathing. He flipped over and instantly recognized the room as his own.

 

He looked to the window; the sun was just beginning to rise. He sighed as his breath slowly returned to normal, then shifted his eyes to stare at the ceiling.

 

Beads of sweat were actually forming and dripping down the back of his neck. As if the room hadn't felt warm enough, his could feel his cheeks turn red as he suddenly recalled his dream. His eyes widened a bit and he covered his face with his hands in a vain attempt to erase his memory.

 

Guilt was the only emotion coursing through him as he watched Chris eating breakfast. Guilt, and a little curiosity. When Chris opened his mouth just a bit to take in the cereal from his spoon, the flash of his tongue sent Jonathan's thoughts spiraling out of control.

 

He was in a daze for a few minutes, until Chris noticed and waved his hand in front of Jonathan's eyes. Jonathan started, blinked a few times, then just looked blankly at Chris.

 

“Jay, are you all right?”

 

Chris's big blue eyes did nothing to help, and really only made matters worse. Jonathan looked down at his hands and tried to think of something else.

 

“Uh huh, I'm fine,” he quickly and unconvincingly evaded.

 

He wasn't sure why he felt guilty; after all, it wasn't as if Chris was just some friend of his that he suddenly had weird feelings for. Chris was his boyfriend, it wasn't exactly unusual to have those sort of thoughts.

 

Maybe it was just because Chris had absolutely no clue about it. In that case, Jonathan thought it might help to tell him. Only, he quickly realized that it would be rather awkward to talk about.

 

“Chris... I need to ask you something.”

 

“Sure, what?”

 

The words froze as they journeyed to Jonathan's lips. How the hell was he going to phrase this? He didn't want to seem creepy, after all. “Have you, uh... well, have you ever had, like, a dream about me?”

 

Chris stared at him for a few seconds, then his eyes were lit with realization. “Why, Jonathan!” Then he smiled slyly, seductively lowering his voice and winking as he said, “Sure, I've had dreams about you.”

 

“Really?” Jonathan asked, feeling relieved and only a bit less strange.

 

“Oh, yeah. Plenty of times. And some of them were, you know... beforewestarteddating.” Chris abruptly shoved a bunch of cereal into his mouth as Jonathan looked wildly at him.

 

“Wait...” Jonathan shifted a little in his chair. “When you said that you... missed this, and you've had dreams about it before... were they those kinds of dreams?”

 

“Some of them,” Chris replied, then scrunched up his nose. “Does that freak you out?”

 

“No,” Jonathan said, shaking his head, “it's actually a bit of a relief.”

 

“What's a relief?”

 

Chris and Jonathan looked up to see Penny walking into the room. She stopped in front of the table and tiredly placed her hands on her hips.

 

“It's something we're going to have to have a talk about, isn't it?” she asked.

 

“Mum-”

 

“It's nothing, Penny,” Chris coolly interrupted. “Just usual things that teenage boys think about.”

 

Penny was not assured by Chris's response. “Great. Now we have to have a talk.”

 

Jonathan shot a look at Chris. He always dreaded parental talks, and now that they had shifted more towards adult topics, he enjoyed them even less. Chris looked back at him with an innocent and apologetic stare, and Jonathan knew he couldn't be mad for long. In fact, he already wasn't mad at Chris.

 

In an attempt to distract his mother as she sat down at the table, Jonathan asked, “Mum, are you feeling all right? You look a bit tired, at least.”

 

“Yeah, well, I had a rough day yesterday. I got out of work a bit late and I didn't come home until much later after that.”

 

Penny groaned and buried her face in her hands. It was one of the few moments in Jonathan's life that he wished his father was still alive. Then his mother wouldn't have to work so hard.

 

“Yeah... why did you come home so late?” Jonathan skeptically asked.

 

Penny dropped her hands and glared at Jonathan, almost as if she knew that he was suspicious of her and she tried to convey to him that there was no reason to be. “I was asked to a parent-teacher conference. Actually, I was basically forced to it.”

 

“Jonathan,” Chris sang, “in trouble again, are we?”

 

“I wouldn't be so quick to pin it on Jonathan, Chris, as it was your English teacher I met with,” Penny sharply said.

 

“Oh.” Chris stopped smirking and ate some of his cereal.

 

“And it wasn't anything bad, he just wanted to speak about your highly skilled writing. He suggested you enroll in some sort of summer writing program.”

 

Chris's eyes widened a little as he thought about it. “That would be cool!”

 

“Is that something you're actually interested in, then?” she asked him.

 

Chris sighed and shook his head insistently. “Aw, no, Penny, I couldn't let you do that-”

 

“Chris,” she sternly interjected. “You have lived in this house for over a year now, you are my responsibility, and if there's something like this that you want to do, something that you're interested in that will benefit you in the long run, then I would be more than willing to pay for it.”

 

“But I...” Chris realized it was no use fighting, not only because he was fighting against something he wanted, but also because the stubborn look on Penny's face said she wouldn't back down. “OK. I'll still feel bad, though.”

 

“Then you can write about it.” Chris laughed a little, and Penny smiled in return.

 

“Thank you,” Chris said, and he gave Penny a kiss on the cheek.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” she droned. “Now, about this talk we need to have.” Penny stood up and walked around the table, aiming for the counter where her precious coffee awaited.

 

“Mum,” Jonathan whined, turning around in his chair. “Do we really have to?”

 

“Yes,” Penny replied without looking back. “It's not like I'm thrilled about it either, Jonathan, but I'm not going to be some irresponsible and clueless parent. And I don't want to have irresponsible and clueless children around, either.”

 

“Mum, you're acting like there's some possible way for either of us to... I don't know, get pregnant or something.”

 

“I wouldn't let that happen, anyway,” Chris quietly said. “Not again.”

 

Penny turned around and threw her hands onto her hips. “Jonathan, that's a pretty crude thing for you to say. There are other consequences of having sex, you know.” Jonathan cringed at his mother's use of the word 'sex'. Penny sighed and let her hands drop limply. “This is not a conversation I ever wanted to have with you. It was supposed to be your father's... Well, I guess we can all deal.”

 

“Penny,” Chris began, “I should point out that we haven't actually done anything ye- uh, in case you were wondering.”

 

“I appreciate your input, Chris, but believe me, I know you haven't done anything yet.”

 

“Oh,” Chris said, and ducked his head. Jonathan glared at him for a little while, almost as if to say that Chris had no right to be embarrassed, only he did.

 

“Clearly, you both want to, and that's where the problem starts. I can set rules, I can't actually enforce them... especially when I'm not around. And...” Penny sat down beside Jonathan and rested her forehead in her palms. “I know you're not stupid boys, please don't act like it. That's all I can really say, I'm too worn out to deal with this now.”

 

“It's a serious thing,” Jonathan quietly agreed. “Mum, I'm not taking this lightly...” Jonathan held himself back from adding that if he was, he'd have already jumped Chris. It was true, but he didn't need his mother knowing that, though he had a feeling she somehow knew anyway.

 

Jonathan expected Penny to reply at some point, but it was Chris who spoke long before she did. “Jay, I think... I think we should talk about it. Because...” Chris was clearly struggling to get the words out, his cheeks lightly flushed and only growing redder as he continued to speak. “I've never gone that far with a boy. I mean, obviously you haven't either, but... I'm almost afraid to.”

 

“If you're not ready... that's fine,” Jonathan said. “I'm not entirely sure-” Jonathan shifted in his chair, trying to forget the presence of his mother. “Maybe neither of us are actually ready.”

 

“It's not that I'm not ready, just that... Well, I think a tiny part of me wants to believe that it's still not true, and then my parents won't hate me.” Chris smiled painfully. “I know that's ridiculous. I'm gay, and nothing will change that. But they can't change either, and so if I go ahead and... then there's really no hope left. Does that make sense?”

 

Jonathan nodded slightly and reached across the table for Chris's hand. “Yeah, it makes sense.”

 

“I mean, I don't think it really makes sense,” Chris said. “It's not rational, anyway.”

 

“Well, your parents aren't very rational, either. So it fits, I guess,” Jonathan said a bit lightheartedly. Chris's smile turned a little more pleasant-looking, and he nodded his agreement.

 

“They are the nastiest people I've ever met. They are the biggest couple of vain snobs this town has ever seen. All they care about is appearances and wealth, and if you don't fit in then you're completely out of luck. They surround themselves with people just like them, but they're still far worse. Far, far worse. Really, it's a good thing that I'm not being raised like that anymore.” Chris took a deep breath, and his smile faded. “But they're still my parents. And no matter how many times I tell myself to just hate them because they're not worth it, I just can't. But they hate me. It's so unfair.”

 

“I don't think they hate you, exactly-”

 

“They disapprove of me, whatever. It all amounts to the same thing. They'll never speak to me again, because I couldn't live up to their standards.” Chris briefly looked down at his and Jonathan's hands, then back up at Jonathan and Penny. “I don't think either of you know how much it means to me that you've given me as much as you have. That house that I grew up in... I always thought it was home. It just seemed right to call it that. But this is my home now, and I've realized that what I had before was really just a place to stay. And get food and stuff like that,” Chris laughed.

 

“Well, Chris, it might sound a bit odd,” Penny started, “but I think you were just what this household needed after Randall passed. And maybe, in some strange way, it was what was meant to happen.”

 

“Maybe it was,” Chris said, almost pointlessly. Then he shook his head and smiled again. “Anyway, I'm so glad I have you guys.”

 

“And we're glad to have you,” Penny happily replied.

 

Then suddenly the phone rang.

 

“I'll get it!” Chris jumped up from his seat and grabbed the phone, spinning it around in his hand in an attempt to be cool. He nearly dropped it, and Jonathan laughed at him.

 

“Nice one, Chris.” Chris made a face at him, then answered the phone.

 

“Hello?” he chirped. “Yeah... Uh, no, why?...” Chris's face suddenly went blank and he lowered his voice as he spoke more directly into the phone, “Really?... Yeah, yeah, sure. I'll see you soon.”

 

Chris ghostly placed the phone back on its receiver. He slowly turned to Jonathan and Penny, and the latter asked, “What was that about?”

 

“I, uh... I have to go pick up Ty...” Chris realized that he'd been addressing the floor, so he raised his head and continued, “Kirsten ran away.” Chris paused, but ignored Penny and Jonathan's reactions and started for the door.

 

 

A Heavy Heart

Chapter Thirteen

 

“Still no sign of her,” Jonathan said as he entered the room. Chris was sitting on the couch with Ty, worrying like crazy. Ty obliviously stared at Jonathan. “Mitch just called, said they've been looking all day. And they searched her room for any sorts of clues or whatever, but they haven't found anything.”

 

“I can't believe she would just leave like that,” Chris said, shaking his head. Jonathan sat down beside him. “Why would she leave?”

 

“Maybe she just...” Jonathan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I don't know.”

 

“At least she didn't take Ty with her, the stupid-” Chris began, his voice teeming with anger, but he stopped himself when Ty started to whine. “No, no, Ty,” he hushed, “don't cry. I'm sorry. Daddy's just a little stressed right now. But it's OK, we'll find mummy. You'll see her again soon enough.”

 

Chris pulled Ty a little closer to him, and Ty let his head fall against Chris's chest. Just watching them made Jonathan almost want to cry.

 

“She couldn't have gone far,” Jonathan offered as help. “She never really seemed like the type to go through with something like this anyway. Running away, I mean.”

 

Jonathan looked to the floor, and Chris stared across the room at the wall, absentmindedly patting down some of Ty's unruly curls. Then he turned to Jonathan and asked quietly, as if to make sure Ty didn't hear, “What if she doesn't come back?”

 

“Then she's the worst mother ever,” Jonathan simply replied. His eyes met Chris's and it was instantly as though he could read Chris's mind. “You would do fine raising him by yourself, if you really had to. I could always help, if you need it.”

 

Chris persistently shook his head as he stared down at Ty, and Jonathan was certain he saw a tear fall from Chris's cheek. “Ty's already going to have a rough life as it is. Teenaged parents who aren't together, one of whom is gay... that's bad enough. Then if he's down to just having a gay dad...” Chris sighed. “Sometimes I just wish I could go back in time and stop it from happening. I love Ty, but I just feel like I messed up his life.”

 

“Kirsten's just as responsible as you are. Besides, I thought you said Ty was a strong kid. He can take it.”

 

“If she doesn't turn up again, then she's more responsible for messing him up,” Chris said. Jonathan smiled at what he thought was Chris's attempt at feeling better about the situation, though he knew full well that Chris felt not one iota better about anything.

 

“He's not messed up, Chris, he's just a baby. He's not old enough to be messed up yet. And you can teach him to work with what he's got, so he won't ever be messed up.” Jonathan placed his hand under Chris's chin and lifted his head up. “If anyone's messed up around here, it's you, but you handle everything in ways that no one else could. If you can teach him to do that- or maybe he already knows, maybe it's genetic. But he'll be fine.”

As Chris stared with disbelieving eyes, Jonathan leaned forward and softly kissed him. “OK,” he whispered.

Jonathan let his hand fall and he sat back a bit as Penny strolled into the room. Wordlessly, she sat down in the chair opposite Jonathan and Chris and folded her hands in her lap. The four sat in silence for several minutes, the only exception being when Ty hiccuped a few times.

“What time is it?” Chris asked. Jonathan responded with a rough estimate, and Chris nodded a little. “I should feed Ty.”

He quickly lifted Ty and stood up. Ty rested against Chris's shoulder as Chris carried him into the kitchen.

Penny sighed deeply, then said, “I always knew there was something wrong with that family.”

“What?” Jonathan asked, looking up with slight bewilderment.

“Oh, they were always nice people, sure,” Penny said. “Hardly anyone around here as kind as they were. But there was just something off about them. Your father insisted that there was nothing wrong with any of them, and that I was just imagining things. Well, here we are well over a decade later and their children are two of the most mentally unstable...”

Penny's voice and thoughts trailed off, leaving Jonathan to feel like he should pick things up. “She'll come around, Kirsten will. I don't think she could actually leave and be gone forever.”

In the other room, Chris paused, his hand suspended in midair, holding a spoon up to Ty. He lowered his hand a little and quietly said, “Hear that? It's all going to be good. If Jay says it, then it has to be true.”

Then he heard Penny speak. “Well, at least it's gotten us away from that chat... Chris is really not discreet about much, is he?”

“No, he's not,” Jonathan agreed. Chris laughed to himself a little.

“Everyone talks about me when they think I can't hear, I said it before, didn't I? It's true, but at least they won't say anything bad,” he said to Ty, giving a small nod in the direction of the living room. “Penny and Jonathan are far too nice for that.”

“He's not like that with everyone, though, I don't think,” Jonathan continued. “It seems like he doesn't trust most other people. Not that I blame him.”

“I have to thank you, you know that?” Chris asked Ty as he brought the spoon towards Ty's mouth again. “You may not be able to do much yet, but you really helped me. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably still be silently pining for Jonathan.”

Ty smiled at Chris, and Chris had a moment where he realized once again that he was a father, that this tiny creature in front of him was essentially a part of him. It made him smile back and nearly tear up.

“I guess this is the plus side, huh? We get to spend more time together.” Chris lifted his hand and tapped Ty on the nose. Then he sat back and observed Ty, twisting his mouth pensively. “I just wish you could talk. Then it would be a lot more entertaining.”

“He'll talk soon enough.” Chris had hardly realized that Penny had walked in, so it was with a bit of shock that he looked up at the doorway. “Hell, before you know it he'll be a teenager, running around and chasing after girls- or,” she waved her hand carelessly through the air, “maybe boys.”

Chris smiled and looked back at Ty. “He won't cause much trouble. Will you, Ty?”

“Yeah, you can keep telling yourself that until you're-” Penny paused briefly to shoot a weird look at Jonathan, who had just entered the room so quickly that he nearly crashed into the side of the doorway- “until you're blue in the face, but that won't make it true. In a rush, are we, Jonathan?”

“I was lonely out there,” Jonathan innocently replied. He stared at his mother with youthful eyes for only a moment longer, then squeezed past her and sat himself down beside Chris. “Listen, I don't want to think about when Ty's that old.”

“You don't want to think about it?” Chris laughed incredulously. “How do you think I feel?”

“We're gonna be, like, thirty,” Jonathan said.

“Yeah, and you'll... probably have your own kids.” Chris turned away from Jonathan, trying not to frown. Jonathan leaned over to try to catch Chris's gaze once more.

“My own kids?” Chris's eyes met Jonathan's with a bit of disbelief.

“You can't honestly tell me that you're not going to get married and have kids one day.”

“Well... I don't know.” Jonathan shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the table. “I mean, I didn't realize you thought about stuff like that... I never really thought about us not...”

“Jonathan,” Chris droned as if it was the millionth time he had to say it, “I love you, but it's completely unrealistic to think that we'll always be together. It's tough to hear that, I know, but it's something that I came to terms with the last time you dumped me.”

Jonathan lifted his eyes to Chris and quietly said, “I did that to help you.”

“I know.” Chris smiled and took one of Jonathan's hands. “And I'm pretty much glad you did. It's just that somewhere down the road we're gonna realize we want different things, Jay. And that's life.”

“So... is there even a point in us being together?”

Chris's eyes went wide and he looked like he was about to smack himself in the forehead because of all the ridiculousness. “Of course there is! Jay, do the words 'I love you' mean nothing to you?”

“I thought they meant nothing to you.” Chris groaned and fell forward dramatically, resting his head on Jonathan's shoulder. Jonathan, temporarily forgetting that he was a bit peeved, smiled and even laughed a little. “You know... maybe there are things that are a tad bit more important right now that we should be focusing on. Even though I love you.”

“Oh, what, like my missing baby mama?” Chris asked, his voice muffled by the fabric of Jonathan's shirt. He lifted his head and sighed, continuing on much more clearly. “I guess her whereabouts are a bit more pressing at the moment.” Chris dully rolled his eyes, and Jonathan laughed at him. Chris pecked him on the cheek, then turned to Ty. “Ty, maybe we should go for a walk. You know, we could keep an eye out on the way.”

Ty stared at Chris, blissfully unaware of anything Chris had just said. But Chris just pretended that Ty was able to agree with him. “Wonderful!” He quickly turned, accidentally, but not roughly, hitting Jonathan's arm with his hand. “Jay, come with us.”

“Hmm...” Jonathan paused for a long time in an attempt to build suspense, and possibly to annoy Chris. Chris wasn't fazed much, though. “All right. I've got nothing better to do, anyway.”

Chris smiled and shook his head, but his grin faded as he looked around the room. “When did your mum leave??”

“Probably once we started talking about us being thirty. I don't think she's ready to deal with that thought.”

“Hey, you're the one who said it first-”

“And you're the one who said that thing about me having kids!” Jonathan retorted. Chris thought for a few moments, then nodded.

“Then we are both to blame. Either way, let's go for a walk now.” Chris stood up and stretched a bit, the tiny bit of skin his shirt revealed as it lifted a little doing nothing to help Jonathan's still scattered mind. To be productive, Jonathan stopped staring and quickly walked around Chris, grabbing Ty out of his high chair and bringing him into the other room. “Hey...”

Jonathan kept walking into the living room, where he was reunited with his mother. Not long after, Chris came running in, and he stopped a few inches away from Jonathan. “Oh, hey, Chris,” Jonathan coolly said.

“Excuse me, Jay, I would like my son back,” Chris said. Jonathan turned his eyes to Chris, tilting his head.

“Nah, he seems pretty happy with me.” Jonathan looked to Ty and continued, “Aren't you? Aren't you happy with me? Come on, Ty, if we're going on a walk, you're gonna need a jacket and stuff.”

Jonathan left the room again, headed in the direction of the stairs and, presumably, Chris's bedroom. Chris raised his arms in the air as if to remark on how unbelievable his life was at the moment, and Penny just shot him a helpless look in return.

“I swear I don't know where he gets it from,” she said. “But maybe you should make sure he doesn't drop him or anything.”

“Oh God!” Chris exclaimed, then bolted out the doorway.

Much to his delight, Ty was safely in tact when Chris stumbled into his room, panting and shaking a little. Jonathan quickly looked at him, then returned to searching through the bag on Chris's bed.

“His jacket's on my chair,” Chris said, pointing towards the desk in the corner of the room. Jonathan stopped digging and looked over.

“Oh.”

As Jonathan went to fetch the jacket, Chris took the opportunity to resume control over his son. While Jonathan was turned the other way, he quickly checked to make sure there were no sudden marks on Ty. He sighed with relief when he found nothing, though perhaps a little too loudly.

“Geez, Chris, don't have a heart attack or anything. I wasn't going to let anything happen to him.” Jonathan stood beside Chris, holding out Ty's jacket. Chris took the clothing from him, and having nothing else to use his hand for, Jonathan placed it carefully on Chris's lower back.

Chris lifted Ty- now sporting his thick navy blue jacket- and held him close, narrowing his eyes at Jonathan. “You're lucky nothing did happen.”

“Yeah, or what?”

“Or I would have to...” Chris abruptly paused, his eyes darting back and forth between Jonathan and Ty. He seemed to be silently asking for help from one of them, but he certainly didn't receive any. “I don't know!”

“See, and that is why you should not make threats like that,” Jonathan replied, and he grinned smugly. Chris narrowed his eyes again, then briefly leaned forward to brush his lips against Jonathan's.

“Come on, genius,” Chris quietly giggled, “let's go.”

“Was that supposed to be sarcasm?” Jonathan asked, staring wide-eyed with concern, but by this point Chris had already left the room, Ty resting in his arms. “I don't even get why you would say that... Chris!”

Only once the three were standing just in front of the porch outside did Jonathan get a chance to speak to Chris again, but he no longer cared about Chris's previous statement. He was more focused on the cold, though it was not as bone-chilling as it had been a few days prior. Chris seemed preoccupied with this, too; he was very closely examining Ty, trying to tell whether or not the tiny baby was well-heated.

“Do you think he looks warm enough?” Chris asked Jonathan, eyes still stuck on Ty. “Are you warm enough, Ty? Maybe I should have grabbed his hat, too...”

“He looks fine,” Jonathan answered, though he wasn't exactly being truthful. Chris believed him anyway, and they began to walk to the sidewalk.

“One of these days, Ty, you'll be able to walk by yourself. Well, I mean, I won't have to hold you. Isn't that cool?” Ty blinked at Chris, but Chris thought he saw a hint of a smile somewhere in his cute baby face.

“He seems thrilled,” Jonathan sarcastically replied. “I know I would be.”

“I think it's cool.”

“I would much rather have people carry me around all my life.” Chris looked to Jonathan and smiled, his blue eyes shining as the sunlight snuck through the shelter of trees and hit his face.

“I wouldn't expect you to understand, Jay,” he said. “You're just a simple, carefree teenage boy.”

“And you're better than that?”

“I'm not carefree, I have a child to look after.” Chris hoisted Ty up his side a little further, as he had been slipping some. “And I think it's cool that this little guy will be like us one day, walking around and talking nonstop.”

“I think that's more like you,” Jonathan joked.

“Well, sure,” Chris admitted, blushing a little for almost no reason. His fingers were started to feel a little stiff in the cold, so he flexed them. “He is my kid, after all.”

“That's so weird...”

Chris brought his eyes up to meet Jonathan's. Even without further explanation he knew what Jonathan was talking about. “It is, a bit.”

“Do you ever...” Jonathan began, but something made him change his mind and he trailed off mid-sentence. Instead, he watched the cracks in the sidewalk pass as his feet glided over the paved surface.

“What?”

Jonathan thought for a second longer, then shook his head. “Nothing. Never mind.”

“No, tell me. Please?” It took Jonathan a few seconds to see the face Chris was making, since his eyes were still so attached to the ground; for several moments longer than he should have been doing so, Chris stuck out his bottom lip and batted his eyelashes a thousand times in a row.

When Jonathan saw Chris, he shortly laughed. “All right. I was just wondering if you ever regret... that... night,” Jonathan replied, trying but failing to come up with better terminology to describe the event he was referring to. As vague as his words were, though, Chris understood what he meant.

“Well... I mean, really, I regretted it before it happened...” Chris looked a little sad, but he tried to brighten up as he added, “I don't regret having Ty. I'm actually really glad for him, even though it would have definitely been better for me to not be a father at sixteen.”

Suddenly Jonathan stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk, and after a few seconds Chris noticed, and he stopped, too. He didn't dare ask what Jonathan was doing, though it became clear quite quickly; Jonathan pulled off his right shoe and turned it upside down, seemingly trying to empty its contents onto the sidewalk. Chris saw a few tiny rocks fall out, and as he watched Jonathan put his shoe back on, he couldn't help laughing a little.

“What?” Jonathan innocently asked. “Those rocks were killing me.”

“I'm sure they were,” Chris said with a smile. “How'd you manage to get rocks in your shoes, exactly?”

Jonathan took the few steps that had distanced himself from Chris, then they both began to walk on. Jonathan shrugged and made an odd noise by pushing some air past his nearly closed lips. “Beats me.”

Chris was going to reply, but decided to just laugh again and shake his head. Then there was silence as they walked down the road towards the corner of the street, where they would probably turn around and head back home. Another person was walking in the opposite direction, hands shoved in the pockets of their jacket, the hood of which was covering their head entirely as they stared at the ground. Chris wondered if that person even realized they were walking as well, or maybe they would just bump into each other.

It seemed as though the other person did recognize their presence, and even tried to completely avoid the boys altogether. But as the mysterious stranger passed by, something clicked; Jonathan's head turned and he loudly exclaimed, “Oh my God, Kirsten!”

“What?” Chris immediately asked. He turned around fully, and the hooded figure had stopped, as if Kirsten knew she'd been caught, but for some reason she thought she might get away with it if she began to walk away fast. “Kirsten!!”

This time she stopped and turned to them. A guilty smile spread across her face, and even though they had certainly recognized her, she kept her hood up as she strolled over to the boys.

“Hey... guys...”

 

A Heavy Heart

Chapter Fourteen

 

Chris felt the anger rising in his chest, but he decided not to do anything about it just yet, at least not with Ty so near. As a baby, he shouldn't have to be subjected to such sorts of negativity, especially not when it involved both of his parents having a shouting match.

Chris turned to Jonathan and tried to smile. It was weak and obviously fake, but Jonathan didn't pay it much attention. “Jay, could you take Ty back to the house for me?”

Jonathan nodded and carefully took Ty from Chris. Making sure he had a good hold on the baby, Jonathan walked away, only glancing back once to give Chris a reassuring smile.

Kirsten stared at her feet, her hood sliding back a little as her head was pulled forward. She could sense that Chris was angry, and she understood that. He had a right to be, even though she felt that if she could explain he might feel differently. But she wanted him to speak first.

“Kirsten, how the hell could you do that?” Chris eventually asked. His voice shook like he was trying to keep calm, but having immense difficulty doing so. “How could you just run away?”

Kirsten felt Chris's bright blue eyes trying to pierce through her skull and penetrate her mind, trying to find some meaning in all of this. Kirsten kept her head down.

“Did you even bother to think about Ty? Or is that why you-”

“Oh, what, you couldn't handle taking care of Ty for an entire day? Is he too much for you?” She hadn't meant to say it, and she instantly regretted lashing out when she looked up and saw the expression on Chris's face, his mouth slightly open in shock.

“I didn't say that,” he said, raising his voice a bit. “I just meant that if you had never come back, Ty would have grown up without his mother.” Then he quieted down and added, “I would love to take care of Ty more often.”

Kirsten frowned at him, hoping that he would realize she was sorry for snapping at him. “I know you would. I only did this for Ty, anyway.”

“What do you mean? What does Ty get out of not having his mum around?”

“It's just that Ty's almost always with me, and so he doesn't really know you well, does he? But at home, Devon's constantly telling him that you're awful and a bunch of other stupid stuff. I can't really stop him, especially if he says those things to him while I'm still in school. So, I figured...” Kirsten shrugged and looked off into the distance. “If I ran away, then you would have to take care of him, and he would know what a great person you are. He would be able to see that what Devon tells him isn't true. And then you have Jonny, and he'd only say good things about you, too.”

Chris stared blankly at Kirsten for a while, then shook his head. “Why couldn't you just tell someone you felt that way instead of actually leaving? Or ask me to watch Ty more, I wouldn't mind.”

“I don't know, Chris, because I'm fourteen? I don't know how to handle this stuff.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that fourteen months ago,” Chris quietly told her. Then, as if he regretted saying it, he added, “Though I guess you couldn't have known about Devon, and... whatever. You're here now, and that's all that matters. Actually I think you should go see your parents, because they are so worried about you.” Kirsten silently nodded, and Chris sighed deeply. “Kirsten?”

“Yeah?”

Chris ducked his head and in a low voice asked, “Is it all right if I watch Ty for the rest of the weekend?”

Kirsten smiled at him. “I think that would be good.”

“I'll see you tomorrow, then,” he said with a hint of excitement. He then left Kirsten, assuming that she could be trusted to return to her home while he returned to his.

Almost instantly upon Chris's arrival and the sound of the door closing, a frazzled-looking Jonathan appeared in the narrow hall separating the living room from the kitchen. In his arms was Ty, head laying against Jonathan's shoulder and eyes shut tight.

“He fell asleep,” Jonathan expressed with wide eyes. “When we got back I didn't feel like sitting down, so I walked around the house a bit, and he fell asleep while I was holding him, but then I didn't want to sit down or put him down or anything because I was afraid that he'd wake up and start crying and I had no idea when you'd be back and I wasn't sure that I could get him to stop crying if he did and he is so heavy when he's asleep!”

Chris stared at Jonathan for a few moments, trying to comprehend all of the words being thrust in his direction. He took a breath, a step forward, and said, “OK, I'll take him.”

Carefully he slipped his hands underneath Ty's arms and pulled him from Jonathan, hoisting the tiny baby over his own shoulder. Ty woke and, as Jonathan had predicted, made some noise, but, realizing that he was now being held by his father, he fell quiet again shortly thereafter.

“So, what happened?” Jonathan asked, rubbing the shoulder where Ty had just been resting.

“Come on, let's go sit down,” Chris said, nodding to the living room. They walked in and sat on the sofa as Chris had suggested, Ty already asleep once more by the time Chris began to explain. He took a few minutes to tell Jonathan everything, and when he had finished his last sentence, Penny joined their company.

“They found Kirsten-” she began, but was cut off by both boys.

“We know,” they simultaneously said, then Chris turned to Jonathan and smiled.

“Well, that must make you two the brightest and most special boys around, huh?” Penny sarcastically asked as she took a seat in one of the arm chairs in the room. “I see Ty is completely unaffected by all of this.”

Chris looked down at his son, the tiny black curls falling around his eyes, a most peaceful expression drawn on his small face.

“That's good,” Penny continued. “It's better that he's too young to understand when things like this happen.”

Chris shook his head a little, and he lightly brushed Ty's hair out of his face. “I think he understands a lot more than anyone thinks. Maybe more than anyone else understands.”

Penny did not argue with Chris; she too knew what it was like to be a parent of such a small, promising child. Not that Jonathan was a failure in any way, but she had believed when he was a baby that he would be impossibly more than he had turned out to be. Her son was fine the way he was, and she had learned to accept that her dreams were nothing more than that- just dreams, and outlandish ones at that.

The sparkle in Chris's eye as he looked down at his son, possibly imagining Ty as the world's next super-genius, continued to shine as he glanced up at Jonathan. In that moment Chris was overcome with a sense of serenity, like everything in his life was finally going right. He was spending time with his wonderful, albeit currently unconscious, son, whose mother only intended for them to get to know each other better, and sitting beside him was the loveliest boy he could have ever hoped to meet, let alone date.

And it was in that moment that the one thing that had weighed Chris down most over the past year suddenly disappeared, and he no longer cared about the loss of his parents' approval. What he had now was enough for him.

“Jay,” Chris suddenly said, “you're looking very gorgeous today.”

Jonathan blushed a little, which only made Chris smile and admire him even more. His green eyes wandered around the room for a while, then we he looked back to find Chris still staring at him, his cheeks flushed an even deeper red. “That was kinda random, but thanks.” He glanced furtively at his mother, then leaned forward and said in the lowest voice he could muster, “You look really... gorgeous, too.”

Chris gave a small laugh, and if it hadn't been for the baby in the way, he would have kissed Jonathan. Instead, he winked and saw Jonathan bite his lip as the corners of his mouth twitched upwards. And what Chris would have given then to be back in the safety of his dreams, or perhaps of Jonathan's; he had never actually heard any of the details of Jonathan's provocative dream, though he was willing to bet that it was good.

“Of course, I think you look gorgeous everyday.”

Jonny exhaled frantically and shook his head, as if those movements would remove the red that was only burning hotter on his face. He lowered his head, and Chris knew that Jonathan's embarrassment was a sign of his gratitude, and that it was most likely caused by the presence of his mother. When Chris looked over to Penny, though, he noticed that she seemed to be experiencing the same sort of drowsiness that had plagued Ty, for her eyes were closed and her head was rested upon her hand, dangerously close to slipping as her breathing evened out.

So Jonathan and Chris were alone, yet not, all at once. They could at least say whatever they wanted, though neither would for fear that one of the room's other occupants would overhear and cause a fuss. Penny was obviously more likely to do so than Ty, but either way it was a risk neither boy was willing to take.

Chris rested against the back of the sofa and just watched Jonathan breathe and generally live. It was always an amazing concept to Chris that every person had a heart of their own that beat and kept them in this world, but he thought it was even more astounding in Jonathan's case, simply because he was Jonathan, and Chris loved him.

An hour or two passed this way, and sometimes Chris would stop looking at Jonathan and Jonathan would take over, staring at Chris and marveling at his existence. Then there were times when they both looked at each other, and Jonathan sat nearer to Chris, but he couldn't grab Chris's hand or lay his arm around Chris's shoulder, so he settled for edging his foot closer to Chris's.

When Jonathan set his eyes upon Chris, he felt like he had so much to say, but he needn't actually say any of it. There was some sort of telepathy between the two boys that required nothing to be spoken, even over the span of a few hours. Everything was just thought and felt by both.

Eventually the tiredness slipped into their bodies as well, and Chris found his eyes closing on the image of Jonathan curled up against the armrest of the sofa, already gone into the world of dreams.

Then the next thing he knew it was dark in the room except for a lamp illuminated by Penny's seat, Penny leaned towards it with a book in her hands, and he looked down to find that Ty was awake as well. Ty's bright blue eyes were directed at Chris's, his tiny hand trying to grab at Chris's collar.

“Well,” Chris drowsily began, still trying to blink away the tiredness in his eyes, “there goes my Saturday, huh?”

Chris readjusted his position so that Ty was sitting, facing him, on his lap. Ty laughed at him, and made some incoherent noises.

“It's just as well, I don't think I'd have done anything more important anyway.” Beside him, Jonathan twitched, his leg hitting Chris unintentionally, but with a decent amount of force nonetheless. “Oi, do you see this?” Chris asked Ty. “Domestic abuse, I think.”

It was probably the ridiculous tone of Chris's voice that made Ty laugh a little more. Chris snapped his head and shot a look at the baby. “Oh, I'm glad you find my injuries amusing. I suppose it's best to find out now just what kind of son I have.”

Ty, oblivious, continued smiling. Chris laughed back at him, and gently kissed the top of his head. Then he turned to Jonathan, who appeared to be still curled up and sleeping as if nothing had ever happened. But Chris thought he looked really cute; he realized then that before this day he had only ever seen Jonathan conscious. It was almost like a new milestone for him.

“Aw, Ty, look at Jay sleeping,” Chris whispered. “How adorable is he?”

“Gaa,” Ty replied. It may have not actually meant anything, but Chris seemed to understand what Ty was saying.

“Yeah,” Chris agreed, his tone riddled with admiration, “he is.” Chris smiled, and at that particular moment Jonathan's eyelids fluttered and he looked around to identify where he was. He quickly realized, and as he turned his head he saw that Chris was watching him.

“That's kinda creepy, you know.” Jonathan sat himself up, stretching as much as he could given the limitations of the sofa.

“Oh, you wanna see creepy?” Chris asked, widening his eyes and leaning as close as he could to Jonathan. Then he smiled without parting his lips, and Jonathan tried to move back some.

“OK, you can stop doing that,” Jonathan told him, but Chris was not going to let that stop him. He just kept moving further and further until he had Jonathan squished up against the arm of the couch. For a few seconds he stayed perfectly still, smiling, then he moved forward one last time and kissed Jonathan square on the mouth. Then he laughed and sat back, allowing Jonathan to reposition himself as well.

“You two have to be the weirdest kids around here,” Penny said from across the room without looking up from her book. “Seriously.”

Chris thought this over for a while, his eyes wandering ponderously up to the ceiling. They were a little odd, he had to admit, though it was probably he who was the stranger of the two and usually the source of their interesting ventures.

Then suddenly Chris stood up, holding firmly onto Ty, and began to walk out of the room without so much as one word.

“Wait,” Jonathan called, “where are you going?”

“My room,” Chris replied, not looking back or stopping. As he rounded the corner and headed for the stairs, his voice carried into the room, “I have this urge to write now, and I feel that I should not ignore it.”

Jonathan sat around for a bit longer, twiddling his thumbs, then decided to join Chris. When he entered the room at the end of the hall, he found Chris sitting on his bed, Ty next to him leaning back against some pillows to help him sit up. Chris was already fervently scribbling words on a paper, but as soon as he sensed Jonathan's presence he stopped and looked up.

“Hey, Jay,” he said, and then went back to writing. Jonathan admired Chris from the doorway for a few seconds, then walked over to the edge of the bed and took a seat.

“What are you writing?” he asked.

“Something new,” Chris said. Jonathan took that to mean that Chris had only just started the story that very same day, but Jonathan noticed that there were at least three pages laying beside Chris that were filled entirely. “Wanna read what I have so far?”

“Sure.” Chris gave Jonathan the few pages and Jonathan began to read. It was, in Jonathan's opinion, much like the rest of Chris's stories- not in plot, though, but in the fantastic quality of writing. Something like pride always swelled inside of him whenever he read anything Chris wrote. It was almost as if he knew that one day Chris would make it big with his writing, and Jonathan would be extraordinarily grateful to be able to say that he was there in the days when Chris would stow away in his room and write for hours without telling anyone what he was doing.

Jonathan sat in Chris's room and read until he finally decided that he should go to bed, even though he'd taken a rather long nap earlier. He said goodnight to Chris and Ty and went off into his room. As he looked at his unmade bed, he remembered the dream he'd had the night before, and almost hoped that he didn't have another dream like that. Not that the dream hadn't been enjoyable, he just felt too uncomfortable with it during his waking hours.

But as he tried to fall asleep, he found it difficult to think of anything else except that dream, and the way it felt to be so close to Chris in a way he never had been before. Then, thinking back to what Chris had said about them not always being together, he wondered if they would ever even get to that point, if their relationship would even survive long enough for it to happen. Jonathan decided that it would.

The last thing he pictured before he finally drifted off was what his life would be like in the future; he knew Chris was right, but he couldn't help thinking what it would be like for them to stay together even when they did hit thirty, and maybe even after that. Chris was such a great person- what if the family Chris mentioned Jonathan would want was theirs? What if they ended up married in some way? Jonathan wouldn't mind that.

 

Arrow & Bow

 

Chapter 9

 

 

Both Madison and I were up bright and early the next morning, ready to leave as soon as Sarah arrived at the door. I had made a quick decision to join the two of them in visiting Jackson at the hospital.

 

I knew Sarah wanted me to be there, for moral support. And I knew that I should be there, too. It was my duty. Jackson was my brother-in-law, after all. Of course I needed to visit him at least sometimes throughout the duration of his illness.

 

But what bothered me was that I didn’t want to go. I felt horrible. Guilt silently flooded me. My conscious nagged at me. Why don’t you want to visit your own relative in his time of need? It was because I was a wimp, I admitted to myself.

 

I hadn’t inherited any of the courage that Sarah and Madison had. I was just lucky they had an ample supply. Maybe some of it would rub off on me, someday. I heard Sarah’s knock at the door. I swallowed nervously. I hoped that day would be soon.

 

The car ride was far too long. It gave me plenty of time to rethink my decision. The more I thought about it, the more nervous I became, the more scared I felt, and the more I longed to be home in my bed as opposed to heading to the hospital.

 

Yet at the same time, we arrived much too quickly. Soon my senses were filled typical hospital traits. The squeak of shoes on hard linoleum floors, the whitewashed walls, the sterilized rooms. It was awful.

 

I took Madison’s hand as we walked to Jackson’s room, and told myself that it was to keep her calm. In reality it helped me keep myself calm.

 

I had a good idea of what I would see when we entered his room. I expected him to have a sickly appearance, and obviously be lying in a hospital bed. And yet, he looked more ill than I could have forced myself to imagine.

 

His face was very thin and dark circles surrounded his eyes. He was wrapped up snugly among the thin hospital blankets, but what skin was visible looked pale and appeared almost translucent.

 

I had a hunch that Sarah had been keeping from me just how sick Jackson really had been the past few weeks or maybe even months. Though it was nauseating to admit, he looked as though he wouldn’t be around more than a month. Guilt pressed on me even harder. My conscience was a burning sensation in my head.

 

Maybe I would have known about this if I had visited more, it told me. I shouldn’t have taken any member of my family for granted, it nagged. And now it was too late. I had but weeks left to bond with Jackson before the cancer ate away his life.

 

Pathetically, even after admitting all of this to myself I stayed for only a few minutes. Just long enough to give Jackson a quick greeting, a squeeze on the arm, and a few words of encouragement. Then I hugged Sarah, kissed Madison on the cheek, and left it all behind me.

 

I took a cab home, not bothering to stick around outside the accursed building to wait for a ride home from Sarah. Anyways, that wouldn’t have exactly been fair to her. If I couldn’t even support her in her time of need, why should she do anything for me?

 

The driver took somewhat of a scenic route home, and drove by the park I had become so familiar with. Making a split-second decision, I told him to stop there. I hopped out, paid the slightly decreased fair, and immediately scanned the large stretch of land.

 

I laid my eyes on what I had been hoping to see-or who, to be more precise-and headed towards the spot without even really thinking about it. As soon as I saw Christopher-Chris-sitting there, eyes intent on his instrument, I felt so much better.

 

This time he was already plucking out sporadic notes on his guitar. I sat down, in the now drier grass to listen. But he stopped playing then and looked at me straight in the eye.

 

“I thought you might need some music today, so I began to play as soon as the sun came up.”

 

“You mean you’ve been playing all this time?” I asked, stunned.

 

He stood and stretched. It was only then I realized how tall he was, almost as tall as me. And I was now fairly certain it wasn’t baggy clothes making him look thin. The man was just skinny. I thought he might even be undernourished. I opened my mouth to offer to do a kindness for him and take him out for a meal. But he interrupted with a suggestion of his own.

 

“Come with me, please. I have something I need to show you.”

 

I didn’t know how to respond, so I just nodded. He smiled a bit than begun to walk off towards the road. I followed right behind him (which was no easy feat, for even though I was a little taller, he was a much faster walker than I). I wondered where he could be taking me.

 

I had never considered the possibility that he ever left the park, though somewhere in the back of my mind I knew he must. After all, on the first day I saw him I had noticed his cleanly shaven face. I realized that today it was quite stubbly.

 

We passed many buildings and I noticed that the area around us was gradually beginning to look more and more run down. When Chris finally stopped, we were in what appeared to be the center of the worst part of town.

 

There was a door, painted an odd but not altogether unpleasant orange color. A pathetic looking sign with faded letters hung on its front. I squinted to make out the writing.

 

Muse, it read, which must have been the name of the place. In his characteristic way, Chris answered my unspoken question before I had even finished processing it in my own mind.

 

“This is where I work,” he explained. “But more importantly, this is where I come to do what I enjoy.”

 

Twice he knocked on the door. A separated portion of it that I hadn’t noticed slid back, revealing a set of dark eyes. Chris spoke some foreign word, presumably a password of some sort, and the door opened. Chris excitedly grabbed my arm and pulled me inside.

 

“Welcome to my world,” he said with a smile.

 

 

|The One Question|

Part 1: Chris-

 

 

 

 

By: Nicole

 

“Chris, we’re going to be late for the awards dinner!” I heard Jon scream from downstairs. I hated going to awards dinners. Especially because I found myself often feeling awkward, you know, among hundreds of living legends. It can get to you just a bit. Also when people come up to you and say “Oh I really liked your new album, my favorite song is ‘Violet Hill’!” I say thank you. But then once I start thinking about it, my minds like, “well why isn’t your favorite song ‘death and all his friends’ or …or ‘strawberry swing’?” and then I start getting rather… self conscious, and I start to evaluate myself. The guys always tell me that the songs that I come up with are amazing, but you know, I think that’s how you’re supposed to act if you’re friends with someone. I guess I do make it rather difficult to be friends with me. I mean, I’m sure if I was easier to get along with, I would still be married. Anyway, I needed to look good tonight, cause my soon to be ex wife was going to be there. This isn’t the Grammy awards; this is the Oscar Gala dinner. We were nominated for best soundtrack on a movie. We did a few songs for the new Bourne movie that came out. It was a huge success… Erica talked us into doing it, because she loves Matt Damon. She used to be the biggest Matt Damon fan girl ever, and then once she met him, they became amazing friends. The whole awkward thing about this is that she’s in the movie starring along side with him. That’s why she’s going to be there. My soon to be Ex wife and I have to accept an award together. Fuck My Life.

“CHRIS!” Will screamed.

“BLOODY FUCKING HELL, I’M COMING” I answered back. They were all silent.

I laughed to myself a bit, I haven’t yelled, or even talked much since the whole separation thing. It happened exactly 19 days ago, tonight. I looked in the mirror one last time, took a deep breath, fixed my hair and headed towards the door. I descended the stairs slowly, and was greeted by eyes staring up at me. Jon and Chloe, Will and his wife, Phil and his wife, and Guy were standing in the foyer.

“…Ready” I said as I gave them one look, grabbed my coat and headed out of the door and climbed in the back seat of the awaiting van. They all joined shortly after. It was completely silent, except for a few whispers exchanged by Jon and Chloe. They giggled to each other, and it was obvious that they were so in love, I looked over at Phil and his wife, he had his arm around her, and she gently rested her head on his arm, Will also hand his arm around his wife. Guy just kind of sat there. I soon shifted my attention to the window, and I saw all of the lights from the city quickly pass by, as we sped down the street. The sun was just setting, and the colors of the sky were absolutely beautiful. I remember, Erica and I used to watch the sunset all the time. But now I sort of get this sickening feeling in my stomach whenever I think about that. I miss her.

I miss her a lot. I don’t even know how to function properly. I feel incomplete. I know why she left me. I was a fuck up, and a jerk. I can’t believe some of the things that I said. I know that I can’t drink. It’s just not possible for me to do that. Everything was going great, we were at a party, celebrating the success of the Bourne movie, and Erica, the boys, Matt and Paul (the director) were there and being honored for their performances. We were also being honored for the music, which was used in the picture as I said before. It was at a really popular LA night club, called KC&FP, (being a Brit, I honestly couldn’t tell you what it stood for…). So we all walked in, me and Erica, hand in hand, for what would be the last time…

“Let’s go boys,” Phil said as he climbed out of the van first and helped Toni, his wife, out next. I could see the cameras snapping away as we all got ready to get out.

Guy looked over at me and put his hand on my shoulder, “You’ll be alright mate, we’re all here for you.” Jon turned around once he heard this, and nodded in agreement. Chloe did a nice smile and so did Will and Maryanne, his wife. I gave them all a quick look and then looked down at the floor.

Once we were all out of the car, I stood up straight, and tried to brush the wrinkles out of my tux. “CHRIS! IS IT TRUE THAT YOU ARE IN AA RIGHT NOW?!”

“CHRIS! CHRIS! CHRIS! ARE YOU AN ERICA EVER GOING TO GET BACK TOGETHER AGAIN!?” I looked at all of the paps; my eyes were starting to get watery.

“…I don’t fucking need AA you ass holes…” I said under my breath. Guy placed his hand on my shoulder again, and gave Jon a look to walk right inside, so that we did. The farther inside of the building that we got, the lower the annoying voices of the screaming psychopaths got. We walked in and found out that we were sitting by the front of the stage thing that they had set up.

“CHRIS!” I heard a voice call out from in front of me. I looked up and found Angelina calling my name. A smile quickly grew on my face as I forgot about the stupid paps. I walked towards her and greeted her with a hug, and a kiss on the cheek, Brad was there also, he greeted me with a hug.

“How are you man?” Brad asked as he backed up and replaced his arm back on Angie’s waist.

I looked down at the ground and began to rub the back of my neck with my hand. “…I’ve been… well… miserable… and those fucking prick paps outside aren’t helping at all…”

Angelina placed her hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes.”Trust me; we have problems with them all the time. They say that we are cheating on each other, getting in fights every day, moving out, putting the kids up for adoption, getting abortions, it’s the craziest things that we’ve ever heard.”

“And it’s getting worse and worse, because they are running out of fake things to report.” Brad continued.

“The only thing that keeps us looking on the Brightside of these absurd accusations is cause we both know that’s none of it is true, and we love and care about each other more and more every day.” Angelina said as Brad brought her closer to him.

“I have no fucking idea how you could put up with that shit that they say though…” I responded to them.

“We try not to think about it, the more you think about it, the more that you make yourself think that it’s true.” Brad answered back.

“Chris, they’re about to start.” Will called out to me as the other celebrities began to take their seats.

We all turned our attention to the room next to us. “What table are you guys sitting at?” Angelina asked.

“Table three I believe.” I said unsure of my answer, these past few days, that’s been the last thing on my mind.

“Hey! That’s our table! You guys must be filling in the other seats; George and Sarah are already sitting at the table. Matt and Erica are also there though…” Brad said as he turned his attention towards the table that we were meant to be sitting at.

I took a deep breath and looked at the guys, who had overheard this. “It’s okay… we all understand…” Angelina said as she placed her hand on my back and began to guide me to the table. As we got closer I saw that Erica wasn’t there yet and either was Matt.

“They must be greeting people still…” Jon said as he pulled out a chair for Chloe. We all took our seats, as I sat next to Brad and Guy. I stood back up when George came over with a smile on, shook my hand, and gave me a hug.

“Hey man how are you! I haven’t seen you in about a month!” we continued to talk for a few minutes after that, before the lights dimmed down and a lady took the stage.

“Could everyone please take their seats now? We’re ready to start!” George and I gave each other a nod that we would talk later. Just as I went to take my seat I saw Erica and Matt emerging from the crowd. I couldn’t stop staring at her. It almost felt like the whole world around me slowed down and went into slow motion. Her dark brown hair was blowing in the wind almost, and her fitted silver gown was vibrant against her olive skin, it was a sleeveless. She had a big smile on also and was waving and saying hello to people as she noticed them. Matt was next to her, smiling and doing the same thing, he was even wearing a silver pocket thing to match her dress. For a second, it scared me, because they looked like the perfect couple. I quickly shook the idea out of my head, as I saw Matt’s wife sit down at the table, and take her seat next to George. Matt soon sat next to her and Erica sat next to him and Will.

The seating now, going to the right was, Me, Guy, Jon, Chloe, Toni, Phil, Maryanne, Will, Erica, Matt, Luciana (matt’s wife), George, Sarah, Angelina, then Brad. Basically, Erica was going to sit down right across from me. I looked down as they got closer to the table and quickly took my seat. She noticed me and then her smiled quickly faded away. As she stopped walking, and whispered something in Matt’s ear and he looked right at me. They took their seats as the announcer started talking. This was going to be the most awkward gathering ever.

And it didn’t help that everyone kept staring back and forth from me to her every three seconds…

 

 

|The One Question|

Part 2: Erica-

 

 

 

 

By: Nicole

 

I couldn’t look at him. I knew if I looked at him, he would make me want to talk to him. And I … I can’t do that, not after what happened 19 days ago tonight. I told him not to drink. He can’t handle much. He not only pushed me, but he slapped the waitress’s ass, and grabbed a random girl and made out with her right in front of me… I don’t think I’ve ever cried as much as I have been crying. Thank God I have Matt. He’s so amazing, he just gets me. Chloe and I are really close also. I’ve been talking to her a lot also. Looking at Chris now makes me get all nervous. I know he made a mistake, but it was a really serious one. I turned my attention towards the stage as the announcer went on. I guess I sort of left the band for the moment. I mean I used to sing some songs with the guys, most of them were duets with Chris and some of them were just harmonies.

Recently I’ve been working on my acting career, and I’m glad I am at the moment, I mean I’m up for like 15 awards, because of this one movie that I chose to do with Matt. Once the announcement was over, everyone clapped and the waiters came over and filled our wine glasses, and took our orders. Everyone at the table started talking as I got up and gave everyone a kiss and hug hello. I stopped when I got to Guy. And I just looked down at Chris. At this time everyone was looking at me, I placed my hands uncomfortably by my side. “…hello Chris” I said softly and quietly under my breath. He looked up at me, shocked.

“… Hello Erica” he said back to me quietly. We held eye contact for a bit, and then I turned around and headed back to my seat, because my eyes were tearing up. We both sat at the table for the next few minutes, completely silent as everyone whispered back and forth to each other. I finally began to play with my napkin that was on my lap now. Matt leaned over to me.

“Erica, are you alright?” he asked as he placed his hand on my back.

“Yeah… yeah I’m fine…” I said as I took a big drink of the champagne that was just poured. He moved his hand on my lower back now. I gave him a puzzled look, and he quickly removed his hand and placed it back on his lap.

“SOOO! Who knows about the new movie that Leonardo and Mark are starting?” Angelina said finally breaking the silence. Everyone started talking, and soon the whole table was conversing with each other, minus Chris and me of course. A bit later, we were served our dinners. As soon as I got mine I just stared at it. I couldn’t eat, I had absolutely no appetite.

“...uhmm… excuse me please.” I said as I quickly got out of my chair and walked out of the room. Everyone at the table directed their attention to me and then Chris, who wasn’t eating either. Guy gave him a nudge and Chris soon got up also.

“Excuse me also.” I could hear him say as he followed after me.

Once I was in the other room and the door was closed behind me, I looked outside and saw all of the paps waiting outside. I started tearing up again, it shortly turned to crying. “…Erica” I heard a voice whisper softly behind me. I wanted to turn around but I couldn’t do it. Shortly after I heard this, I felt someone come up from behind me and place his hands around my waist. He leaned his head and rested it on my shoulder. I could feel his breath on my neck.

“Chris…” I answered back finally. I closed my eyes as I placed my hands on top of his on my waist.

“… Erica I… I can’t live without you…” he said to me.

“Then why did you do what you did to me Chris?” I asked as I pulled away, and turned to face him. Just as I did Matt came running through the doors.

 

 

 

 

|The One Question|

Part 3: Chris-

 

 

 

 

 

By:Nicole

 

We stood there, looking at each other, with the same look and thoughts on our minds, “Why was Matt here?”

My stomach turned inside of me when I realized something, I looked at Matt then at Erica. There was more to this than meets the eye. But.. It couldn’t be, Matt was married, Matt was just her best friend, Matt would never do anything like that to me.

Then it hit me. Matt was in love with Erica. The way he stood at the door, with his shoulders slouched a bit, and his eyes were a bit glassy. He stood there with a blank face on though staring at Erica and then me.

I let go of Erica and walked towards him a bit, “Can I help you Matt…” I said in a slightly annoyed voice. I don’t think I meant it that way, but a ton of thoughts were going through my head. As I said this, Erica walked up and held onto my arm with both of her hands, as if to hold me back.

“Chris, calm down. I can explain…” She said. I looked behind me, and I could see her eyes getting watery.

My heart stopped, as I looked at Matt and he backed up a bit.

“Wha… what are you trying to tell me Erica…” I said as tears started to form in my eyes.

She took a deep breath and said “We should go somewhere else and talk about this…”

 

 

|The One Question|

Part 4: Erica

 

 

 

By:Nicole

 

“What the fuck is there to talk about!?” Chris yelled at Matt.

Matt almost jumped at Chris, but I stood in between them. I looked up at Chris as he whipped his eyes with his sleeve. His blue eyes stared back into mine as he began whispering over and over again, “No… no… this… no… this can’t be…real, please Er… tell me that”

I couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes. Every time I did, I felt like I was stabbing him in the heart.

I took him by the hand and walked towards the other door, leading to the stairs to go outside on the roof. I felt like I was dragging him at one point. Once we reached the roof, he broke loose of me. He jumped in front of me and strongly grabbed my both arms and held them down by my side. He looked down into my eyes with anger, confusion and sadness. I stared down at the floor.

“What did you do…” he asked as he loosened his grip on my arms. I looked back up at him; he was inches away from my face now.

“Chris… Matt and I… well... we…”

“SPIT IT OUT GODDAMNIT” he yelled.

I flinched a bit, but in the same way, I could understand his anger, I was the same way a few nights ago.

“Well, we… kissed…”

He looked at me with a blank face on. I thought for a second he was going to run right down those stairs and beat the crap out of him.

“Well you guys had to kiss for the movie” he said.

“We weren’t on set”

He let go of my arms.

“When was this…” he asked quietly.

“The night that you… we fought. I didn’t know where to go, I couldn’t go to Jon and Chloe’s house, you might have been there. I called Matt after I ran out of the party, and he met me at his house. He let me inside, made me tea, and gave me a t shirt and a pair of shorts to borrow. As I sat there crying, he leaned over and hugged me. He told me that I didn’t deserve something like that to happen to me, when we pulled back we just… looked into each other’s eyes, and he told me he had to tell me something. He told me that he loved me Chris. And that every time he saw me his heat skipped a beat. Every time he saw me smile, he automatically smiled. He told me he thought I was beautiful. And then finally he told me that he loved me. Then he leaned in and kissed me.” I explained.

He stood there life less, he looked like he had just got run over by a bus.

“Di…did you kiss him back...” he asked crying softly now.

I stood there with my hands back down at my side, without making a sound.

Just then he turned and ran towards the stairs. I turned my head to follow him as I saw the door close quickly behind him. Then it hit me, I ran after him. I pushed the door open and ran down the stairs as fast as I possibly could in my high heels and dress. When I got down to the foyer, I didn’t see Matt or Chris, or anyone actually, I just saw the door to the awards room shut.

 

 

 

|The One Question|

Part 4.5: Erica (continued)

 

 

 

By:Nicole

 

“Fucking hell” I exclaimed as I ran up to the door and pushed it open. Everyone was standing up and talking amongst each other, which made it harder for me to try to find Chris or Matt.

“YOU FUCKER!” I heard Chris scream. Shit. I was too late. I dashed towards the sound; I pushed my way through people, weaving in and out of the crowd.

“Who the hell are you saying that to Chris?!” I heard Matt yell back.

Double shit. “STOP. NO!” I yelled as I got closer to them, they both turned their heads and looked towards me. Now everyone’s attention was on me.

I slowed down once I reached where they were standing, until I came to a full stop directly in the middle of them. “…please” I said softly and quietly, as I hung my head in disappointment.

“What’s going on here?” Luciana asked, emerging from behind Matt. She had a puzzled look on her face. I turned my attention towards Chris, who now had Jonny, Guy and Will standing behind him just as confused.

“This… this needs to end here… now” Chris said as he looked Matt directly in the eyes with anger.

“Chris… no please... Please!” I said as I started crying.

Before he stepped up to Matt he looked at me and lowered his fist. He looked at me like his heart had broken that very moment.

“You care more about him… than you do me…” He responded.

Everyone in the room was dead silent.

I stood there searching for the words, it seemed like my brain was on shut down mode, I knew what I wanted to answer, but I just couldn’t communicate it.

“Tell me!” He said.

I looked at him, then at my hand. It was now time.

I took my ring off of my left hand for the first time ever. I walked a bit closer to him and took his hand. I opened it up and placed the ring inside of it. I then closed his hand around it.

“I can’t do this anymore…” I continued, “…I … I don’t know what’s happened to you Chris” I turned and walked quickly towards the door fighting back tears. I went into my clutch and reached for my cell phone.

“Erica, no…I…I didn’t mean that…no wait” Chris said as he started to walk towards me.

My hands were shaking.

He was stopped by Jonny; he said that he’ll go instead.

I pushed open the doors, and called the valet, to get my car ready. I walked outside where I was greeted by hundreds of Paps. They were talking amongst themselves in confusion, and shouting out random questions, asking me why I’m leaving. I climbed into the back seat, I went to go close the door, as I saw Jonny run down the red carpet and climb in next to me.

I was silent.

“Erica, what’s going on..”

“33 Moonlight Drive please…” I said to the driver.

“You got it miss” He responded, as he put the window between him and me up.

He pulled away.

“Erica…”

No response.

He tried looking at me, I was stuck staring at the floor, with a blank expression on my face, staring at my hand. There was no ring on it.

My face turned white. I looked up at Jon, still in shock of what had just happened. I threw my arms around his neck and began sobbing. He quickly placed his arms around me.

“Jon, this is so fucked up, I don’t know what the hell I should do!” I said as I started crying louder.

He placed his hand on the back of my head and began to run his hand down my hair, as I rested my head on his shoulder. My crying started to slow down a little bit.

“Erica, you guys both need to fix things. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but that’s not to say that it’s going to be hard either…” he said.

I pulled away from him, “He’s never going to change, not even after what happened a few weeks ago. He’s stubborn, and full of anger. He hasn’t been this angry since Gwyneth…”

The car slowed down as we reached the hotel. I whipped my eyes and fixed my hair.

“Erica, he’s upset because he doesn’t want to lose you, you know that he’s known you for so long, and he has seen you go out of countless relationships before you guys started seeing each other. He’s always told me of how he’s scared he’s going to lose you because you’re too pretty compared to him or something like, guys will always be attracted in you, and he feels powerless. He’s just trying to show you how much he cares for you, which might mean that he may need to fight or get a bit nasty to scare the people he thinks are threats, away.”

Everything that he just said made sense.

 

 

|The One Question|

Part 5: Chris

 

 

By:Nicole

 

I stood there with my arms down by my side; I couldn’t even wrap my head around what had just happened. I picked my hand up and opened it to reveal Erica’s wedding ring and engagement ring. I stared down at it while I heard whispers start. I turned back and I gave Will the look that we had to leave. I started towards the door quickly with my head down trying not to hold eye contact with anyone. The guys and their dates soon followed.

I pushed open the door to the foyer and looked around. She was really gone, just then I saw a black van pull away.

“…shit” I said under my breath.

When Will and the other emerged from the room, I asked them where Erica was staying.

“You really want her back…” Guy asked a bit surprised.

“You just embarrassed yourself, Erica, Matt and Luciana. Why would you go up to him and try to start stuff.” Will asked.

I looked down at the ground.

“You guys don’t know what she means to me… Sometimes, I used to only get up because I knew I would be waking up next to her. I went out of my way multiple times for her, so that I could see her smile. I’ll never forget the first time that I looked into her eyes, which was the first time I met her, and how then I knew that we would be together eventually. I felt love for the first time with her. I felt like I had it all, and I got to comfortable. That’s why I thought I could drink; I thought it wouldn’t matter if anything happened because she would always be there for me. I know the way that I acted out was completely wrong and fucked up of me, but I wasn’t thinking clearly. When you love someone so much, you don’t want anyone or anything to take that away from you, I can’t lose her forever, it would be worse if I lost her and she wound up with him… I truly had it all, and then I lost it in a matter of seconds… we met 11 years ago, February 14, 1999,” I paused for a second, “That’s three days away.”

The guys all looked at me with a sort of amazed face on. Marianne and Toni both stood close behind their husbands with a sweet smile on. Chloe walked up to me.

“Chris… I never thought to ask this before, but why weren’t you guys married a short while after you met if you hit it off so splendidly?” she asked.

“That’s a good question… Well, as much as I wanted to tell her that I loved her, I just couldn’t say it, I had the worst nerves ever when it came to her. Also, she was dating other people, when we met. It broke my heart each time I had to answer the door while she was getting ready to go out. I remember sitting downstairs in the old living room that was at the bands old flat, across from these guys. I would sit there staring at them, studying their appearance, trying to see if I could be like them, thinking that she would like me. That didn’t work, so I just released my feelings through songs, that’s where I got shiver from mainly.”

“Why did you even bother with Gwyneth then?”

I stood there a second with my eyes looking down towards the ground.

“…I wanted someone to love me.” I responded quietly.

Everyone stood there as I saw Chloe place her arm on my shoulder.

“I was wrong in that aspect also. She never loved me, I never loved her. I actually didn’t like her company at all, I just needed someone. Then, next thing you know, we were sleeping together, and one day she tells me that she’s pregnant. That day killed me a little bit though, I loved that I was having a child, but got sick over the fact that it was with her. I thought from that day on, I would never be able to have a relationship with Erica. Gwyneth gave birth on August 3, 2003. You all were there for the most part, minus Chloe, Toni and Maryanne, because we didn’t know you then. Erica was there too, I could tell that it was killing her that she was there. Once the babies were delivered, I held Apple and Moses for the first time, and it made me feel like I was on top of the world. About three years later, I wound up leaving Gwyneth after I found out that she was cheating on me. The first person that I ran to after I dropped the twins off at my mum’s house was Erica. I told her that I loved her. I told her that I needed to be with her. We made love for the first time that night. The next morning we went to the studio and told you guys. Soon we were engaged and then married; we really didn’t have to date long, because we’ve known each other forever, and we’ve even lived with each other before. A year after that in two thousand and seven, she told me that she was pregnant. I think you guys remember me telling you that, I was glowing for ages after that. We were on tour and she was about to take the stage to perform, when she told me that her water had broke. We rushed her to the hospital, where Meenah would be born. Even since then it’s been Meenah, Apple, Moses, Erica and I. It’s everything that I’ve always wanted. Erica loved them all exactly the same, she did everything with them, and she loved taking them to the park and out. The last time we went to the park all together was the day before the incident. They’ve been at Erica’s mums for the past few weeks.”

Chloe had a tear in her eye, as did almost everyone else.

“I can’t lose that…” I finished up with saying.

“Chris, I.. I had no…” Toni said as she searched for the right words.

“Go get her, here’s the address.” Guy wrote it down on a scrap piece of paper he pulled out from his jacket, and handed it to me while he whipped his eyes, trying to hide his tears.

I looked at them all as a smile grew on my face, I ran towards the door. I ran right down the red carpet with a huge smile on my face, as I went right to the valet and ordered a car that was standing by. I completely blocked out everything that the paps were saying.

I climbed in the car as fast as possible and handed the driver the piece of paper.

He glanced in the rearview mirror and gave me a quick smile as he drove off, “In a hurry I presume?”

“Yes, yes I am…” I said as even a bigger smile grew on my face.

I looked out the window trying to think of something to say to her when I had gotten there.

As we were pulling away I saw Matt get in a car right behind me. I had a bad feeling in my gut.

“When we get there, can you drive past and go around the block then drop me off please?” I asked the driver.

“Sure no problem Mr. Martin” he responded quickly.

Matt’s car was following us.

My smile quickly faded as I thought of what might happen now. When we finally reached the hotel, we drove right past and circled the corner, as I saw Matt climb out of the car and run into the building. Anger quickly grew inside of me.

“Stop the car here please…” I tried to saw as calmly as possible.

“Sir we’re almost there.”

“No it’s fine right here is good.”

“Okay if you’re sure…” He responded as he pulled over.

“Hey, good luck man.” He said to me as I climbed out. I turned and started running towards the hotel. Once I got inside, I ran up to the stairs and climbed them as fast as I could. The speed didn’t even bother me, because I was dead set on getting upstairs.

Once I reached the twelfth floor, I got off of the stairs and entered a hallway.

I turned the corner looking for number 1233. I was not surprised to see Matt just arriving at the door. I looked at him, until he noticed me. I began to walk closer.

“What are you doing here…” I asked as my face got tenser and I started to make a fist with my hand.

He looked at me with a blank expression on, as he knocked on the door. Just then my cell phone started to vibrate. I answered it, without losing eye contact with him.

“Hello”

“Matt left!”

“I know, I’m standing here with him right now.”

“Fuck! Guy Will and Phil are on their way right now!”

“…That’s okay; tell them to take their time…” I said as I hung up the phone.

I placed my phone back into my pocket.

“Chris… look…” Matt said as he started to back up a bit.

“I don’t want to fight you.” He finished.

Just then the door opened and Erica and Jonny were there.

 

 

|The One Question|

Part 6: Erica

 

 

 

By:Nicole

 

Jon and I stood at the doorway, looking back and forth from Chris to Matt.

I saw Chris Pull his sleeve up and untuck his shirt. He took his jacket off and threw it on the floor behind him.

“Chris, NO!” I yelled as I tried to stop him, but I was too late.

Chris lunged at Matt and punched him right in the side of his face, so hard that I could hear the smack.

Matt fell back and his head hit the floor. Chris stood over top of him, looking down at him.

I gave Chris a look and I began to cry, Jonny ran up to Chris and held him back. I rushed over to Matt on the floor; I gathered my dress towards my back and kneeled down next to him.

“Matt! Matt are you okay! …oh my God…” I took my hands and I gently picked his head up to see if he was okay. He moaned a little bit in pain when he slowly opened his eyes. I then took his head and placed it on my lap and propped him up.

“…Uhhh my nose…” he moaned. When he moved his hand from his face I saw blood start to flow.

“JON! Get him out of here!” I screamed.

I saw Jon nod and push Chris back towards the elevator!

“ERICA! NO, NO WAIT!” Chris called out.

“..Let’s…Let’s get inside and help you…” he began to get up with my help.

“Hold your head back” I said to him as he stood up fully.

We moved into the room quickly, and I closed the door behind. I quickly took him to the couch.

“Here, lay down here a second, I’ll go get some towels.” I said as I walked over to the bathroom to grab a few towels and quickly rushed back to him. I sat down next to him and I placed his head on my lap again. I took a towel and held it up to his nose. We stayed there for 10 minutes until the bleeding finally stopped. I reached over in my bag next to the couch and I grabbed my bottle of Advil.

“Here take some of this, it works quickly.” I handed him two and he popped them in his mouth.

“Would you like some water?”

“No. I’ll be okay.” He said as he swallowed them. He removed the towel from his nose and placed it on the table.

He sat up now so that he was looking me right in the eyes, I sat with my hands in my lap.

“Erica…” he said as he moved closer to me on the couch.

“I’m so sorry that… this happened… I never wanted this to” I said as I placed my hand gently on where he was hit, and he flinched. I went to go move my hand away when he quickly placed his hand on top of mine.

I sat staring at him.

“Matt, you have a wife, and … well I have Chris… This can’t keep happening.” I said as I continued to move my hand away from his.

He looked up at me with a blank expression on his face. “But, but what about what happened last time?”

“I looked down, I wasn’t thinking…”

He looked down and began to play with the towel in his hand now.

“Here, take this blanket, and lay down for a bit. You’ll feel better…” I said as I handed him one from the side of the couch.

“I’ll be back soon.” I began to walk out of the room, and close the door behind me.

I walked down the hallway until I reached the stairs. I peeked my head slowly around the corner, and I found Jon with his arms extending the width of the stairwell, blocking Chris from entering back up stairs.

“Jon, come on! You gotta let me go man!”

“No.”

“…Jon, its okay now” I said as I placed my hand on his shoulder gently.

“Erica…” I heard Chris say as he swerved around Jon and threw his arms around me.

 

 

|The One Question|

Part 7: Chris-

By:Nicole

I swerved around Jon and stopped when I reached Erica. I looked down at her with my hands at my side. She glanced up at me for a moment and then continued to look back down at the ground again.

“..Erica” I managed to finally muster.

She acted like she didn’t hear me.

“I’m really sorry for… screwing up again.”

“Chris,” she finally answered “how many times are you going to fuck up before you realize that enough is enough.”

I looked at her with a puzzled look on.

“Wha…what do you mean?”

“It’s stressing me out Chris. These things that are going on right now are not what I agreed to on when we said our vows…”

She continued.

“We have a family that we are responsible for. Moses, Apple, and Meenah, whether you may realize that or not, they will be greatly affected by your “Screw ups”. So then, I ask you one more time. How many times are you willing to “screw up”, before you realize what it’s doing to the people around you and your family…”

She had me speechless, as she usually does. She really makes me think of things.

Just then I saw a tear roll down her face. My heart sunk. It felt like it fell right out of my body.

I didn’t want to make her cry. I don’t know what was wrong with me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jonny slip out of the stairwell and into the hallway.

“Erica… you know that… I never meant to do all of those things. It’s just that …when you love someone so much, paying attention to what’s right or wrong doesn’t matter. You just follow what your heart tells you to do, which in this case was to fight off someone that was trying to take you from me. I can’t let that happen. It’s worse than cutting of my leg, or arm. You don’t know how I can’t function without you. When you told me that you wanted a divorce, I could feel my whole body go into shock. I took your love for granted. When I actually lost you that night, it really hit me. I tried to go through everything in my head, over and over again. The only thing that I could find wrong is that I took your compassion, love and patience for granted. I didn’t want to kiss that random woman, or touch that waitress. I just want you. Yesterday if you saw me you would have thought I was homeless. Not shaving, not eating, not changing, not showering, not writing songs, not spending time with anyone, all I did was think, “Where did I go wrong?. What caused me to drink?”

I had her complete attention now as she looked at me in the eyes.

I stepped a little close to her and she placed her hand on my face and whipped away a tear as it fell. I closed my eyes and place my hand on top of hers.

“…I can’t lose you” I finally said as I opened my eyes back up.

I moved even closer and placed my hands on her waist.

“Chris. I honestly don’t know what to do. I really really want to forgive you. But I don’t know if I can do that… You humiliated me in front of hundreds of people. You made me cry for hours on end, thinking that you finally thought that I wasn’t good enough for you, so you needed a new woman…”

“I would never do that to you. You’re the only one that I love as much as I do. You really keep me straight. Just waking up next to you makes me feel so much better. I love to see you smile. When you were walking towards the table earlier tonight, and you were with Matt, my stomach turned. You guys looked so perfect together. Matt looked much handsomer than me in a tux, and he’s a good height and you two looked like you would be the new Hollywood power couple if you were together. I think that’s what scared me a lot, realizing that I could lose you in a split second. So many emotions swelled up in me when I saw that, anger, pain, depression, sadness, envy, jealousy and much more.”

She placed both of her hands on my cheeks, held my head and tilted my direction towards her more.

“Don’t ever think that you’re not good enough for me. I don’t think that we should...”

I cut her off.

“No… Er… Come on, this can’t happen…”

“…still get a divorce…”

My body relaxed and I took a deep breath.

“Chris, I think we should separate for a while and see how it works out.”

“What? Why would you say that we need that?”

She backed away from me and took her hands off of my face and I then realized that she might want to give Matt a chance that’s why she wants to separate.

“It’s Matt isn’t it…”

I responded.

“No.”

“Then what is it Damn it!” I said louder.

She flinched a little and then looked at me in the eyes again.

“It’s because of that!” she yelled as she began to cry and ran out into the hallway.

“Erica! No I didn’t mean to yell like that!” I said as I followed her and grabbed her arm.

She stopped dead in her tracks.

“…Christopher, let go of me right now.”

Just then I saw Jonny round the corner and he had a stunned face on.

“Now.” She said again.

I couldn’t let go of her though. I knew if I did, it would be the end of everything.

“No. I’m never letting you go.”

“Chris. I think you should let her go.”

Erica turned around when she heard Matt’s voice.

We both looked up and saw him standing at the corner next to Jonny.

I let go of her arm.

 

|The One Question|

Part 8: Erica-

 

By:Nicole

 

I didn’t know what to do. Weather or not to leave Chris, choose Matt, or forget about Matt and stay with Chris.

But I can’t trust Chris fully. I still can’t bring myself to do it.

“I need time.” I said as I swiftly walked past them and went to the stairs that lead to the roof.

“Erica!” I heard them both plead.

I blocked it out of my head and continued up the stairs as I heard Jonny telling them to let me go.

I reached the 15th floor and I saw a door that had a bright yellow sign on it that read “DO NOT ENTER. LEADS TO ROOF”.

I entered anyway, and took my shoe off to keep in between the door so that it didn’t lock me out. I then took my other shoe off and placed it along side the door too.

I walked out as I felt the warm air kiss my face. It really made me relaxed. I continued to the edge as I leaned up upon it with my elbows. I looked up at the sky as I began to notice that the sun was beginning to fade away and set. It was surrounded by different shades of pink, purple, orange and other colors.

California sunsets were the best, especially watching the sun hide behind the mountains and hills in Hollywood.

Chris and I would always watch the sunset.

Sometimes we would do it alone, and he would pull out the guitar and sing just anything that came to his mind.

He’s so creative and spontaneous. I love it. But sometimes the spontaneous aspect can be pretty bad, as with what’s been going on. Other times we watched the sunset, we would be with the kids. Meenah would always want to be in my arms, while Moses sat with Chris and apple was sitting in between Chris and I. Moses would always fall asleep and Chris would wind up carrying him inside, and laying him down for bed. Apple would always insist on being the last one up, she would fall asleep leaning on me, after Meenah.

“Erica.”

I turned around quickly.

“Yes.”

I couldn’t see who it was because it was dark by now.

I squinted trying to identify this man.

“It’s Guy.”

“Oh, Guy!” I said as I ran towards him and gave him a big hug and kiss on the cheek.

He did the same.

“…I heard what happened.” He continued “Luciana is downstairs, along with Jonny, Matt, Phil, Chris, and Will.”

I shifted my head to the ground.

“Luciana knows..?” I said on the verge of crying again.

He nodded.

“Matt’s explaining it to her right now…”

“I feel like a home wrecker… when I didn’t even do anything.”

He pulled me in closer to him as I began to cry.

“It’s not your fault,” he said as he patted the back of my head “You just seem to have a rather “infectious” personality. Everyone loves you. Expect for one person, but she’s not important.”

I looked up and smiled at him. He smiled back. He always knew how to make me happy and smile.

“But Chris has changed into something… indescribable. He’s gotten so nasty, hot-tempered, and he tends to go to one extreme to the next. I feel like I don’t know him anymore.” I said as the smile began to fade from my face.

He looked down to the side to look for the right thing to say.

“I think he’s just trying to compete with Matt.”

I guess he was right.

I mean Chris never had a mean bone in his body. He rarely yelled let alone became angry with me. He never hurt me before either.

Maybe he noticed something that made him upset.

“I don’t know. I wish none of this would have happened…”

Just then Phil came bursting through the door.

“Guys! We have a problem!”

Guy and I looked at each other with worried faces on.

 

 

A Heavy Heart

Chapter Fifteen

Though his eyes were closed, Jonathan was already awake when he heard the creaking of his floor and felt a small weight being placed beside him. It was another few seconds before he heard a squeaky voice call out to him.

“Jaayyy... Jaaayyyyy...” He ignored the voice and kept his eyes shut tight. The voice just pressed on, and he even felt a hand pushing his arm. “Wakey-wakey! It's little Tyrone Bunimo here-”

“Bunimo?!” Jonathan opened his eyes and sat up, turning to face the disturbance. Ty was being held next to him by what appeared to be a set of floating hands, but soon Chris's head popped up from the edge of the bed.

 

“That's his middle name,” Chris said. “Did you not know that?”

Jonny stared at the two for a bit, then rolled his eyes. “Obviously. Bunimo??”

Chris, trying not to let his grip on Ty slip too much, carefully held up one of his hands in defense. “It was all Kirsten, I promise.”

“Is that even a name?” Jonathan asked, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes.

“Seems so.” Chris stood up and brought Ty with him, letting the baby rest in his arms. “Are you gonna get up or what? Penny said she's making breakfast now.”

“Yeah,” Jonathan droned, “I'll be down in a few minutes.”

Chris left the room, bouncing Ty a little as he walked. Jonathan thought he even heard Chris start to sing, his voice carrying through the hall. He smiled to himself and thought about getting up. Then he thought about it some more for quite a few minutes, until his legs finally decided to receive the signals from his brain and moved to the floor.

The carpet felt soft under his feet, and it took him another minute or so to coax himself into actually getting up this time. In all honesty what made him do it was the picture he had of Chris sitting downstairs, probably talking to Ty about things Ty really had no interest in whatsoever. He loved that side of Chris.

Sure enough, as he walked into the kitchen the first thing he saw was Ty in his high chair, Chris leaned in close and muttering a bunch of things to him. Jonathan sat down in the seat opposite Chris and just stared for a while.

“And Jonathan is what we call 'eavesdropping',” Chris said. “It's a big word, I know, but you'll get it one day. It means that Jay is listening to our conversation even though he's not a part of it, and also even though it's not much of a conversation. 'Conversation' is another rather large word, huh? But it's basically just us talking.”

“Or Chris is attempting to have a conversation with you, but it's not working out because you can't talk back,” Jonathan said to Ty. “Though that works well for him, because now he doesn't have anyone telling him to shut up.”

“Except you.” Chris smiled brightly and condescendingly, and Jonathan narrowed his eyes at him. Then, from somewhere on the table Jonathan managed to find a few crumbs of whatever had been for dinner the night before that he picked up and threw at Chris. “Jonathan!!”

“Christopher!!” Jonathan whined back in his best mocking tone. Chris tried to pull off his best angry face, but he couldn't hold it for very long and he ended up laughing. Jonathan smiled back at him, and Chris rested his chin in his hands and stared at Jonathan.

“You have such a nice smile, Jay,” he said. “And a nice laugh, and nice eyes, and-”

“Chris, you could go on all day,” Penny said as she walked over to the table carrying two full plates. “Move your arms, please, so I can set these down.”

Chris looked up at Penny, then did as he was told and pulled his arms back. Penny placed a plate in front of each of the boys, then headed back to the stove to fix her own breakfast.

“Thanks mum,” Jonathan said as she was walking away, and in return he received a noncommittal grunt. He went to grab his fork, and along the way he noticed Chris already shoveling his food down his throat. “Careful, you might choke.”

“And then you'd have to give me CPR,” Chris said with his mouth full of eggs. He finished chewing, swallowed, then continued sarcastically, “What a shame.”

Jonathan looked at him blankly for a few seconds, then shook his head slightly. “I don't know CPR.”

“It's not that hard to learn. You want me to teach you later?”

“Chris!” Penny yelled across the room. Chris spun around in his chair and smiled innocently at her. “Don't say those things around your son. Or better yet, around me.”

“Sorry,” he sheepishly replied, then turned back to Jonathan. “I guess that's out, then.”

“It's OK, I'd rather not ever need to use CPR. Even on you.” Jonathan appeared to drift off for a moment, then he added, “Especially on you. What if it didn't work?”

Chris's eyes bugged and he nearly dropped his fork on his plate. “Oh... well, that would be awful.”

“Exactly,” Jonathan said. He decided not to add anything more to the topic, and so he went back to eating. Within a minute Penny sat beside him, and by that time Chris had finished eating and was in the middle of bringing his plate to the sink. After the clink of the plate as it the bottom of the sink sounded, Chris opened up the refrigerator and pulled out a jar of baby food.

“What do you say, Ty, banana?” He looked up at his son, who was staring back at him. Jonathan glanced up at them as well, once again smiling to himself at Chris's quirky behavior. “Good.”

Once all four of them had been fed well enough, they moved their location to the living room. Penny decided to watch some documentary on the National Geographic channel, and Jonathan and Chris sat on either end of the couch. In the middle of them was Ty, being held up by Chris, his feet just barely touching the cushion.

“Wow, Ty, you're so tall,” Chris told him. “You're basically a giant.”

“He does have your genes, Chris, you never know,” Jonathan said. “He could end up being a giant.”

“Giant Ty... it's almost like saying giant eye...”

“Well, he could end up with those, too.” Chris leaned forward a little and widened his eyes a frightening amount, and in response Ty laughed. Jonathan shook his head, and turned to see what was on the television set now. Penny was still watching the National Geographic channel, and at that particular moment they were showing a rather horrifying depiction of a possible ending to the world.

Jonathan's interest decreased and he looked back at Chris and Ty. Ty was no longer standing with help from Chris, but he was sitting with his back slightly against the couch. Chris's hands were on either side of his body, there so if he fell Chris could catch him. For a few seconds Ty sat forward, but as he started to wobble Chris helped him sit back again.

“Not bad, kiddo,” Chris said, smiling proudly. It was one of those moments where he was utterly amazed by everything and anything Ty did, even something as simple as blinking. “Wanna try again?”

Chris pulled Ty forward a little, and then let go, but still kept his hands close. Ty managed to sit for a little longer than before, and even Jonathan smiled at that. Having been an only child, and the youngest of three, neither Jonathan nor Chris had ever really been around a baby before, and thus they were both excited seeing Ty progress in ways such as this, though it certainly meant a lot more to Chris.

“Aw, Ty, Penny was right,” Chris said, picking Ty up and sitting him back down in his lap, “you're gonna grow up too fast. Stop growing up. Do you want to stay tiny forever?”

Ty blinked at Chris, unaware, and Chris sighed. “No, you're right, that wouldn't be much fun. And you have too much wisdom in those big, blue eyes to stay like this. You need to grow up so you can spread your knowledge around to those less fortunate. Like Devon.”

Chris was rather surprised to see that Ty laughed at this, and once again he felt proud of his son.

There was not much to do in the quiet house, yet the day still passed by in a flash. Chris was really sad to have to bring Ty back to Kirsten's, and as he walked back home he realized that it was a pain he would have to deal with for the rest of his life, at least until Ty was an adult himself and off on his own. But Kirsten's seeming eagerness to allow Chris to spend as much time with Ty as possible was certainly an uplifting prospect.

When Chris returned home, Jonathan was waiting for him on the porch, sitting in one of the three green plastic chairs that occupied the space. Chris, due to the fact that he had been staring at his feet, didn't notice until he had reached the first step and finally looked up. He stopped on the stair and leaned against the railing.

“Hey,” Chris softly said.

“Hey.” Jonathan smiled at Chris, though for some reason Chris thought he looked a little sad. He took a seat in the chair beside Jonathan.

“What are you doing out here?”

“I just felt like coming out here,” Jonathan replied. He was looking down at the chair, tapping his thumb restlessly on the arm. “You know, we only bought three of these chairs because no one else ever came over, really. It was just me, my mum, and my dad...”

Chris scooted his chair closer to Jonathan's and he grabbed Jonathan's hand. “Oh, Jay...”

Jonathan looked up at Chris and tried to smile reassuringly. “It's OK. I mean... I hated him. And if he were still alive, then you certainly wouldn't be here with us, and we wouldn't be together.”

“Yeah, but still, I know what it's like to not have your parents around. It's tough, if not only because you're just used to them being there, then one day that changes and nothing is ever the same, even if it's for the better.” Chris's eyes were shining, and as he gave a small sigh he laid his head on Jonathan's shoulder. Moments later he felt Jonathan's chin rest on top of his head, and even though the sun was setting and the air around them was cooling very quickly, Chris felt a warm sensation tingling through his body.

“Chris,” Jonathan quietly began after a long silence, “I'll always love you.”

“And I you, dear Jay,” Chris replied. “I don't think I could love anyone else as much as I love you.” Chris lifted his head, pointing his blue eyes and Jonathan's green ones and trying to convey through them as much of his emotion and he could. “Even when we're not together anymore, I'll be there for you. If you ever need a friend... or someone to listen...”

For a reason he could not explain, Chris felt the tears start to fall down his cheeks. He tried to stop them, but it didn't work. Then Jonathan brushed his hand against Chris's skin and tried to wipe them away. Chris smiled at him, laughing through his embarrassment. Jonathan leaned forward gently kissed Chris, not caring that Chris's lips tasted a little salty from the tears that had slid down so far, only worrying about making Chris feel better.

And Chris knew Jonathan would always be there to lift his heavy heart.

Vnhadiuh elakhfijvelashck;alwnfuarw;lvrawl ce The end. :bigcry:

 

 

 

by the way, the entire story can be found here. :awesome: