I made a short music video - can I get some constructive criticism?

[RunForTheHills]

If anyone is interested, I've set up an account at Overplay.com where I plan to upload all my music & videos from now on! (www.overplay.com/semyingle)

 

Right now I only have my newest song up there which is called Catastrophe, a fast-tempo 7 minute instrumental which is a little different from my previous music. I noticed that it's already been reviewed by someone who had this to say about it: "Catastrophe is a great track, it captured my attention for the whole 7 minutes and didn’t let go."

If you like the song and would like to be the first to hear upcoming new material please register and become a fan! It beats having to dig up this thread once every few months :P

 

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Update - You can also check out a snippet of the last 1 miunte and 51 seconds of a new song called The Precipice, which will also be included in this project when it's finished:

http://www.supload.com/listen?s=A2yoFS

 

And a short piano-based piece written and recorded February 2010 called Rain:

http://tindeck.com/listen/cbqd

 

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OK so, I'm doing a multimedia course and I'm currently in my final year. For my final project I've decided to take a risk and try to produce a short mini-album, currently called Synesthesia III (3 main songs, and possibly intro and outro pieces), with accompanying music videos to make them fit the criteria of the project. I'm really just using the project as an excuse to make music, which is my favourite hobby these days, but to make the videos somewhat interesting one of the aims I've given myself is to make the visuals pulse, change and 'breathe' with the music (hence the project title). Really what this means is representing / transferring the mood and pace of the music into a visual form. Not as abstract as say, Windows Media Player's psychedelic real-time graphic visualizations, but I am planning to use film and animation to make the visuals exciting and interesting. I'm not sure if I can pull it off yet, because I've only just started playing around with filming and editing seriously last month (bar the documentary me and a group of us had to put together last year, but none of our hearts were really in it, and to be honest we weren't really allowed to be as creative and experimental as we would have liked).

 

Anyway around this time last month I shot and quickly edited together a short music video for a short version of a song called 'September Dawn' which I recorded over a year ago. The only thing I added to it in preparation for the video was the guitar riff at the end, so it's not really one of my more recent compositions, more of an old song that I'm still rather fond of. I should also point out that what you'll hear is really the climax of an 8 minute song that it originally came from, so the main riff doesn't really change throughout, it just builds. I've put this together as a sort of 'trial run' for the type of thing I'll try to achieve with the 3 main music videos, but I'm probably going to use it as the intro piece otherwise I'm going to feel like I've wasted my time making it:

 

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W59w0qEHigc]YouTube- Music Video: September Dawn (Short Version) - Semy Ingle[/ame]

 

(I just need to point out, because I'm hopelessly nit-picky, that youtube made the video slightly lag behind the audio, so it's ever so slightly out of sync. If you want to watch / hear it in better quality, I have a download link up in the description to a properly synched HD version of the video :D)

 

I'm unhappy with the drum section in the song, as when I was mixing the song last year, my hard drive died before I was able to meticulously sync it up properly with the rest of the song. So all I was left with was a rough version of the song I wanted to make, complete with slightly unsynched drums in some places. Of course I only exported a single layered WAV file to a USB stick at the time, so I couldn't go back and change or remove any of the separate audio tracks that made up the song. So for a long time I just forgot about it, because I was unhappy with the non-polished feel of it. But the last 2 minutes of the song sounded the most acceptable, and when the time came that I needed to put together a quick demonstration of what I planned to achieve in my final project, this seemed to be an ideal piece of music to use.

 

So apart from the drums, what do you think I could have done better? In terms of mixing and stereo placement, have you any criticisms? As for the visual style, do you think the deliberate shakiness of the camera compliments or ruins the feel of the video? Do you think this is a style of filming perhaps worth pursuing for future videos? I havn't used any here, but what kind of animation do you think I could use next time around? Would abstract or story driven visuals be better for this kind of music?

 

As for what the video means / what it signifies, i'll leave that for you to decide. It's completely open to interpretation. But as for where this fits in with the other upcoming songs, I already have a song called December Dusk (another instrumental track) which could be the outro to the album. So I might be forming a seasons-type theme, but I'm not sure yet.

 

Thanks for any input! :nice: If you don't think you have anything much to say, thanks for watching anyway! But I know there are plenty of creative types on here who might be able to give some useful advice :D

[Pseudonym]

Genius. Semy you have a real knack for this stuff. I still listen to Forever More all the time, and this music video is true art. Keep it up man, you have a gift.

[RunForTheHills]

Wow, thanks man! That really means a lot :smiley:. The main reason why I started this thread is because one of my professors didn't like it very much at all, and he's the founder of the course I'm taking. So I'm still trying to decide whether it's worth including in the final project or not (but really at the end of the day, I don't really care about the whole project thing, since I'm just doing what I love).

 

And I'd actually forgotten about that song until now - I never did finish that one, unfortunately. But, I suppose I could go back to it at some point, as I still have all the original files for that one. Depends on whether I can think up a fitting end and a bassline that will do the rest of the song justice, but also I feel like there's something else missing from it that doesn't elevate it to "song" status? I don't know.

 

And you've changed your name, right? What were you called before you were 'Fitz'? I can't quite remember.

[Pseudonym]

What did the professor not like? It's art. :thinking:

 

Yeah man you really should go back and finish it. Bryce (the escapist) is also a huge fan of that song. You have a bit of a rep among of a few of us.

 

I used to be 2732, a long time ago.

[EmmaLouiseSmyth]

:stunned: I love it.

The visuals in the video are gorgeous :D

The idea is so simple, but works perfectly with the song.

Well done. :nice:

[bear]

semy, that song is wonderful. :stunned: i never even knew you were such a great artist! i would love to hear more of your stuff.

 

sorry, but i dont have much criticism. :lol: i think that the video really compliments the song; i love the black and white, abstract style. it definitely not overdone or underdone. anyway, fantastic job! :nice:

 

edit; oh, and if you dont remember, im darcy. we were next to eachother during the show and in the queue at wembley! :nice:

[RunForTheHills]

What did the professor not like? It's art. :thinking:

 

Yeah man you really should go back and finish it. Bryce (the escapist) is also a huge fan of that song. You have a bit of a rep among of a few of us.

 

I used to be 2732, a long time ago.

Well the problem is, this guy is not really an artist himself. His areas of expertise is mainly programming and website design, and he doesn't seem to have much of an eye for the design aspects of website creation anyway. The only reason I'm worried about him disliking it is because he may very well be marking the finished product, since he oversees the whole course. And since he has already heavily criticised my presentation of this video last month (although not completely dismissing the whole idea as a complete failiure, mind you - but he did say that they don't usually allow music videos, and that I'd have to make the website that will be accompanying them pretty darn impressive to make up for it. He's not really one of those creative types), I don't really want to annoy him even more by doing more of the same. One of his criticisms was the camera shake, which I told him was deliberate, but he thought it made it looks sketchy and unpolished. Which was kind of the feel I was going for - so you see the problem I have here. Nevertheless I will continue producing what I think will be appreciated by people who actually know what they're talking about, luckily some of who are my professors, and hope that the marking of the project is a shared duty among the professors, which I hope it is.

 

It's flattering to know that some people here take time to listen to what I post here, it's a great feeling :D. I should post more snippets really, when I have time, because most of the stuff I do I get bored with too quickly and I wouldn't know if I was onto something unless someone else told me so. Which can't be such good news, but after I finish this year at uni I plan to take some time out to really explore some of the ideas I still havn't given a chance to grow into anything meaningful yet. Can't wait till I have the time for that.

[RunForTheHills]

edit; oh, and if you dont remember, im darcy. we were next to eachother during the show and in the queue at wembley! :nice:

Haha, right, yes! Although I was in kind of a rough mood and I wasn't talking much :P I'm glad you like the video though :nice:

[LadyBellaStrawberry]

Its amazing :wacko:

Good Job!

I've listened to it about 4 times already, I love it :wacky:

[Italian Plastic]

That was brilliant. I love it :heart:

[acade365]

Wow. I really liked it, although the shakiness should be a little less in some takes IMO.

 

May I ask which program you used to edit the video?

[splintercell37]

Hey Semy/Xemy/Zemy (LOL?), Make your imagery a bit more meaningful and you've got yourself a formula for epic win.

 

Allow me to explain. I love your editing, it's the sort of surrealism I always used to toy with when I was good at it. You do it really well, and you have an awesome camera which certainly helps for nifty tricks like DOF change :D

Your cinematography itself has no flaws. Very well filmed, very well captured. Glad you mentioned that timing is out of sync because I noticed it ;)

but the imagery is really disjointed and disconnected and has no meaning - however I'm guessing that's because this is a test video? Definitely go for story driven abstract visuals. ;P

 

The music interested me enough for a second listen and it's really caught on me, I'm rather loving your dramatic sound and I think you should definitely keep making more. Tried overlaying some lyrics? I'm inclined to think of Life in Technicolour 1 versus LiT2 ;)

Also try adding some acoustic guitar chords in there!

 

No need for animation just yet, I should think. Keep with the colour editing though. Great so far. We want more! :)

[RunForTheHills]

^ That's a really helpful post, thanks! :D

 

If anyone's interested I uploaded the second, 'darker' half of a new song I'm currently working on called The Precipice. The first half is more jaunty and melodic, and then this is what it seuges into after a quiet bridge. This is probably going to feature in one of the videos for the aformentioned project I'm doing, but it's not yet a certainty. This is probably the 'heaviest' piece of music I've done so far, and I usually like making quiet piano type pieces, so I'm not sure if I'm pulling it off! Any constructive criticism is definitely appreciated!

 

Here's the link to the stream (I'm not sure if I can embed it here, but I'll try):

http://www.supload.com/listen?s=A2yoFS

[princesanji]

well, i like it! (that's enough of words, if i don't critisize you, then you really got it!)

 

you've been using a yamaha keyboard for everything (maybe also an e-guitar?), haven't you?

(i think i recognize all the sounds because i know them well from my yamaha e-piano, haha)

 

pretty good one, just a little off the beat with the bass drum sometimes

 

the video... ok, bizarre style and sometimes not really plausible (= i don't get it why you have chosen some stuff, like why'd you film normal roadsings ?!) but it's great aswell, mostly matches the music (or vice versa).

[PianoRocker]

I don't care like princesanji said about the bass drum, there was more off beat but it is very interesting! I like it alot. Keep practising on the timing and learn how to make a better mix.

I can hear a genius in it!

[RunForTheHills]

^ If you want to hear how I've tightened up things in terms of production and timing, you can check out the link I just posted of part of a new song (might as well post it again - http://www.supload.com/listen?s=A2yoFS). I now use Fruity Loops quite a lot, ESPECIALLY for drums, and it really does help a lot. That song is a different style but I think it demonstrates it quite well.

 

But yeah, that particular song was recorded completely from the keyboard, including the drums, which is why it's off beat in some places. The only non-keyboard sound was the electric guitar at the end, which I added 9 months after I first recorded it. So yeah, I did this a while ago, and I can definitely hear the flaws you guys are hearing. Thanks, though!

[Buxus vahlii]

Zemy101 you have some serious talent there for making music video's. I loved it.

 

The effects were great! :)

[PianoRocker]

^ If you want to hear how I've tightened up things in terms of production and timing, you can check out the link I just posted of part of a new song (might as well post it again - http://www.supload.com/listen?s=A2yoFS). I now use Fruity Loops quite a lot, ESPECIALLY for drums, and it really does help a lot. That song is a different style but I think it demonstrates it quite well.

 

But yeah, that particular song was recorded completely from the keyboard, including the drums, which is why it's off beat in some places. The only non-keyboard sound was the electric guitar at the end, which I added 9 months after I first recorded it. So yeah, I did this a while ago, and I can definitely hear the flaws you guys are hearing. Thanks, though!

Sounds nice!

 

Fruity Loops is the best program for Windows imo! I used it ALOT and still use it sometimes for vmware.

What did u use for the drums? They still sound to 'made up'.

Did you use the randomizer(alt+s) and the strum(alt+s) for it?

I always use it to humanize programmed music, works perfect.

 

Now I use Logic Pro and Mainstage and Grageband I have alot of more options tho... I can use my Yamaha piano with midi out about a few thousand different presents and can get every instrument I wan't.

 

Your song is very good, also the timing is very nicely done.

Drums can get a bit wider and louder but I would give this an 8.! :)

[RunForTheHills]

Thanks Stephan!

 

I've only been using fruity loops for about 5 weeks now but I'm growing to love it! Still very much a noob at it though, so I havn't really tried those randomizer / strum options yet, but I'll look into it! I think there's a setting called "Swing" you can play around with that does that. Oh and for drums I just used the "RealDrumkits" pack, nothing too flash.

 

You got any recent music you could share? I'd love to hear some of your stuff if you have anything! :D

[PianoRocker]

Thanks Stephan!

 

I've only been using fruity loops for about 5 weeks now but I'm growing to love it! Still very much a noob at it though, so I havn't really tried those randomizer / strum options yet, but I'll look into it! I think there's a setting called "Swing" you can play around with that does that. Oh and for drums I just used the "RealDrumkits" pack, nothing too flash.

 

You got any recent music you could share? I'd love to hear some of your stuff if you have anything! :D

Five weeks?? Wow I expected longer! nice work! :)

 

I'm doing a huge project now! I have some demos but pretty poor mixing and recording.

[Ahlem]

i absolutely loved the music and the video aswell...

i want the music in my Ipod. :P

[anitarita]

Original music really, really good. I'm by far no excpert, but I was waiting for the "crecendo", the element of suprise. Needs more layering. Your young and talented, as long as you keep it your passion, devotion, your love...come what may.

[RunForTheHills]

Hey guys! Can I get some feedback for a new song by any chance?

It's going to be an interlude type track on an upcoming EP.

 

Its a short piano-based instrumental called 'Rain'. It's only just over 2 minutes at the moment, and I'm still debating whether or not to add anything to it. This is actually the quickest I've written, recorded, mixed and mastered a song, all done in about 2 days (constantly working on it during those days, however). It's a simple sounding song as I'm not a very elaborate player at all, but I think the crescendo helps to liven things up a bit.

 

Apologies for continually hijacking this thread and actually this section of the forum - I really think we should have a seperate section for bands / artists to post their creations now that the "post your own music" threads don't really make an appearence anymore.

 

Anyway, you can listen to 'Rain' here: http://tindeck.com/listen/cbqd

[princesanji]

sorry, i don't like it as "rain"! generally good sounding piece - the shortness is exactly what this song needs (in germany, we say "in der kürze liegt die würze", but i don't know how to say this in english... ;) the meaning is the one from the sentence before)

 

hm, either try to find another title or rewrite the song... raindrops are falling down, not up and they also tend to fall and not to get stuck in the air all of a sudden - that's what you express right now musically... and the longer, cutting, sphere-ish tones paint a picture of a moving object, moving through the rain...

 

that's my impression of the song...

[RunForTheHills]

sorry, i don't like it as "rain"! generally good sounding piece - the shortness is exactly what this song needs (in germany, we say "in der kürze liegt die würze", but i don't know how to say this in english... ;) the meaning is the one from the sentence before)

 

hm, either try to find another title or rewrite the song... raindrops are falling down, not up and they also tend to fall and not to get stuck in the air all of a sudden - that's what you express right now musically... and the longer, cutting, sphere-ish tones paint a picture of a moving object, moving through the rain...

 

that's my impression of the song...

Maybe I'm just misunderstanding, but is your main criticism the name of the song? I'm not sure I can tell. But either way, I can change the name if its really that bad :P And that talk of raindrops hanging in mid-air... that made me lol. Thanks for the feedback though! I think I agree that the shortness of the song works in it's favour.