Corkus

Until the End of the World Broken Social Scene

M79 - Vampire Weekend

Samson - Regina Spektor

Roadie #43 – Blog #2 May 31, 2010 #43 and the nasty hangover “Trying is the first step towards failure.” I thought I would start this blog entry off with a wise proverb. After all, I give and give and give to this fandom, and what do I get in return? Thankless requests from unappreciative punks. “Show us new song titles, #43!” “#43 post naked pictures of yourself and the band!” Note that I’m currently on stalker alert, especially seeing as how some of you have actually located The Beehive. I told Chris and the others that we should have moved underground. I really did. But no, they would not listen. Likewise, I have decided to stop trying altogether. Now, I realize that some of you were highly offended by my last entry. Admittedly, I was pretty dang drunk that night, but even if I were only on my fifth bottle of champagne (which I admit to swiping from Guy’s luxurious liquor cabinet), it probably would not have sounded that different. There have also been some ludicrous claims that I secretly hate Coldplay and am only in this for the booze and the drugs. While the latter may be true, know that I do love Coldplay for bringing me the latter. Hell, I love Coldplay so much that I purposely sabotaged U2’s upcoming tour by breaking Bono’s back just so Coldplay could remain the biggest band in the world. If you disagree with the fact that Coldplay is so almighty and flawless, you are clearly not a true fan and thus should not be on this website in the first place. Many of you are continually pestering me and The Oracle about the releases of such songs as Famous Old Painters, Christmas Lights, and Wedding Bells. Let me tell you that because you numskulls cannot get over the fact that these songs are DEAD, GONE, SCRAPPED, KABOOM, The Oracle is currently locked up in an institution (her replacement – The Sage – will be answering questions in the meantime). You have heard about the Will Champion Seal of Disapproval, correct? Did you know that the Seal of Disapproval is actually the head of a seal that Will clubbed and clobbered simply by staring at it? And whenever he hears a song he doesn’t like, he pulls out the head and refuses to put it away until Chris agrees to leave it off the album? It really reeks, and as you know, Chris has to keep every room smelling like dainty apple blossoms. How’s the progress in the studio, you ask? Well, Chris’s bodily fluids finally digested the planets that he ate from the solar system project, and now Brian Eno and the others have been recording the yelps of pain Chris has been making in the bathroom as a spectacular new audio effect that will give the band’s upcoming album a real bowel-clenching atmosphere (you will be amazed by the falsetto of those yelps). Guy Berryman is still happily accepting your old photographs. Nobody knows what evil purposes he has in store for them, but I assume he plans on brewing them into the ultimate love potion. I told him that was a stupid idea, given how he has enough Berrygirls as it is and that he should share the fangirls with the rest of us, but he clearly isn’t yet satisfied. What a monster. Several of you have been curious about what other music I’ve been listening to besides Coldplay. Well, I’d recommend that you all pre-order Arcade Fire’s new album, The Suburbs, but that would be precious money that would be better spent re-buying all of Coldplay’s albums to make me even richer. I’ve also been listening to Together by The New Pornographers, although I was initially interested in such a band because I thought it was a collection of Chris and Jonny’s most intimate moments. Phil also recommended me the new Katy Perry single, but I told him he was gay for listening to it. This sent Phil on a gay little speech about how using the word “gay” as an insult is politically incorrect. It was really gay. Roadie #43 will also be happily accepting any questions you may have about the band, the roadies, the studio material, or how to get lucky with any of us. If I deem your question non-stupid enough, I may answer it in a future blog. Hasta la vista, jerks! R#43

Hello, puny imbeciles! While Roadie #42 is on holiday, Roadie #43 apparently deems himself popular/attractive enough to warrant his own thread in a pathetic attempt to distract everyone from sexy picture threads and whining about the lack of Coldplay-related news! He has come to save us from deathly boredom and arguing with ourselves to death! If you missed Roadie #43's drunken introduction, you may read it all here. New blog coming shortly!

R#43 is very irritable, you know. He secretly hates Coldplay and only blogs for them so he can afford his booze. I'll shoot him a text and see if he can keep people updated during the Coldplay news lull, but no guarantees, especially given how in order to get him to post this blog, I had to bribe him with exquisite Cuban cigars and a fake passport. Should he be up for the task, he'll probably just post a new thread to keep all his drunken ramblings in, which actually aren't all that different from his sober ramblings. He fears nothing except the real Roadie #42. In fact, #43 is secretly ashamed of the fact that he isn't as cool as #42. Rumor has it that's why he is so bitter...

Failsafe - The New Pornographers

Na Na Na Na Naa - Kaiser Chiefs

You know, Briggins, while it probably both feels good to get this off your chest and it's probably good for people to read a well-thought-out piece on this part of the forum, I actually think it's really unfortunate that you even had to write this thing in the first place. For coherent thinkers and people who don't have their opinions so far up their asses that it powers their bodies, many of us were probably able to figure out your opinion about Coldplay even without reading this piece. I understand wanting to "clear your name" or whatnot, but for people who rarely step outside the sexy picture threads, I'm not sure how effective this will be. I hope for your sake that this has done some good, however. As for you and I, hey - we disagree about Coldplay, but we agree about Radiohead or Metric or Arcade Fire or whatever, so we aren't ever completely at odds ends. (Heck, I don't think we've ever really had a big dispute about Coldplay, either. Then again, I'm not a prick about someone insulting my favorite band, possibly because I'm so dang used to it.)

Oh God I killed Ian's thread, what have I done? :facepalm:

Roadie #42 - Blog #666 May 27, 2010 6:00 PM #42 finally snaps Well, well, well, a lot has happened in my absence, hasn't it? With all your ever-growing impatience and pestering of the Coldplay.com crew, Anchorman has just checked into rehab and the Oracle is currently on her way to the "loony bin". As for myself and the rest of the roadies? We've been watching the value of the Euro drop as a measure of self-esteem, considering how it's somehow less depressing than dealing with the lot of you readers. Chris Martin infamously once said that Coldplay fans are among the best fans in the world. Let me tell you something - in case you haven't yet noticed, Chris says a lot of things. His claim that Coldplay fans are so unimaginably awesome is about as full of shit as his claim that he doesn't like playing footsies with Jonny Buckland. Ever since my last blog, I have been bombarded with e-mails along the lines of "POST A NEW BLOG #42" or "RELEASE WEDDING BELLS" or "#42 HAVE #69 WITH ME". I'm looking at you, Coldplaying.com. Well, I'm here today to tell you that I have had it. In addition, I'm sick of the persona "Roadie #42". Sure, it was fun being the answer to life, the universe, and everything, but I started freaking out whenever I saw the number 42, which gave me an uncomfortable urge to post about it somewhere online. As of this day, I shall hereby be known as "Roadie #43". It's still the answer to life, the universe, and everything, except it's plus one! Take that, Douglas Adams! How have things been going in the studio, you ask? Well, if you recall, last time I blogged about a solar system project. Chris, of course, thought the Styrofoam planets were giant malt balls, so he ate them. Likewise, this has inspired many unique, experimental sounds inspired by the digestive system. Our genius at work - Brian Eno - has been carefully studying the sounds that Chris's digestive tract makes and has been attempting to replicate them in a way that will usher in a new era of musical enlightenment. We tried taking pictures of Mr. Will Champion playing chess while pretending to look productive, but he warned me that if I were to take any more stupid pictures, he would shove my camera up my right nostril. This made Guy laugh, which insulted Will further. I told the two to take it to a bar. As far as I'm concerned, Mr. Berryman has not been seen since. That leaves just myself and Jonny, and Jonny doesn't let me talk about him behind his back ever since I stumbled upon his scandalous high school year book. Well, that should hopefully appease you imbeciles until next time, even though it clearly won't, which is why I ask myself why I even bother. Sayonara. R#43

So I just randomly turned on streaming footage of Rock in Rio, and they were interviewing Gary and Paul! It lasted only about two minutes but they talked about their recent food experiences and well as having a new SP album out in 2011. Obviously Tired Pony comes first, but it's good to know that the break from Snow Patrol won't be long. EDIT: SNOW PATROL BROADCASTING LIVE RIGHT NOW: http://es.justin.tv/dimaria20slb#r=EIW37AQ~

The Vampire Weekend premieres just keep on coming today! Here's "Jonathan Low" off the Eclipse soundtrack: http://consequenceofsound.net/2010/05/27/check-out-new-vampire-weekend-jonathan-low/ Sounds fantastic. :D

My stream cut off shortly after The Suburbs ended. I refreshed the page and it took another minute for it to load again. Was fine after that. To me, it seemed like a big reason they didn't give much information about the album was because it isn't quite finished yet. A track name or two would have been nice (they purposely dodged that question), but the album's still over two months away.

MTV has premiered the video for Holiday: http://buzzworthy.mtv.com/2010/05/26/video-premiere-vampire-weekend-holiday/

Been listening the whole time. These guys have a better sense of humor than I ever imagined.

Ditto. I really love The Suburbs, but I guess MOM will have some time to grow on me. Still, it's like these guys can't go wrong ever.

Hate to say it, but a keyboard symbol in no way confirms Coldplay. It would be nice, mind you, but it's mere speculation. I've been interested in getting Rock Band for a while, though. Lots more download options than Guitar Hero, much of which interests me.

Oh yay, a Band of Hoses thread! Anyone else a little let down by their latest album, though? The previous two met such high standards that they set equally high expectations, but still, I'm not feeling the same magic here...

Apologies, Colbert is in re-runs this week. Vampire Weekend will be playing the show the following Thursday. :)

Damn...cancellation of the first few dates wasn't surprising, but everything NA plus Glasto? I really hope that means an effective recovery for Bono, at any rate. A delay until 2011 unfortunately makes sense thanks to sports schedules at each of the venues, meaning that I'll have had my tickets for well over a year by that point. :laugh3: I'm over my disappointment now, but I'm sure my parents will be pretty upset, seeing as how they scheduled their three-week vacation around this (since I was to go to the concert with my family). :cry: Guess I should find a new concert to go to in the meantime...

Vampire Weekend will be on The Colbert Report this Thursday. ;)

That's awesome, Bianca. Glad you got to see them again! :)

Oh fudgeburgers, this doesn't look good for Anaheim, especially since it says "rescheduling these dates". :cry: I hope Bono is able to recuperate properly, regardless. :worried:

Granted, Thom's song had two additional things going for it: A) It wasn't the lead single from the soundtrack. B) It was probably a better song than this. Note that I don't hate this new song even though it seems I'm doing nothing but bash it. ;)