Finny

Well here is my latest story if you want to read. It's actually poetry, in which I break all the rules. Now about Cemeteries of London. "And the scariest thing was that it was a perpetual emotion. It wouldn’t go away like the snow in January or the cold wind in November." That was a really beautiful couple of sentences, with some lovely metaphor. And this is why I love historical slash. Because everything is so much angstier back then (unless we're talking ancient civilization in which case ALEXANDER/HEPHAESTION IS CANON! *ahem*), what with it being much more taboo than it is today. I’m a bit of a whore for angst, especially the “Oh my God, I’m gay for my best friend! Wait a second. The term gay doesn’t even exist in that form yet.” type. Another lovely line: “He wanted nothing more than to be the person Christopher thought of first to tell a secret.” I really like that. It’s much better than saying something like, oh I don’t know “He wanted Christopher so bad because he was such a handsome chap.” or something like that. What you did was much more intimate, more touching. I also loved how Dianna was totally in denial about Guy. Tut. Tut. So like (The Disney movie, not the actual myth.). I didn’t like how she had spidey senses and could detect that Jonathan was pining over Christopher in particular. I would much prefer her to notice the pining and not know who it’s about. Or that she was all like “Hey, man! Just tell him! He loves you too.” That’s probably the angst lover in me that goes for angsty, illicit relationships. Development was a bit of an issue in this chapter. I feel like there should have been a chapter in between this and that last where Dianna got to know Christopher and Jonathan and Guy better because I doubt she would have been able to really detect Jonathan’s feelings without knowing him sort of well (which you implied was the case but did not show). Now my biggest complaint applies to all the stories and that is that this whole forum thing is really not a convenient way to read fic. We definitely need some sort of fic archive. I mean, there are tons of them for Harry Potter, so why not Coldplay? Granted it's a much smaller fandom, but it would be awesome to have an archive. Or at least you guys could try and post your fics on AO3, which, if you're uninformed, is a very awesome archive with an excellent tagging system, PLUS it allows RPF, unlike fanfiction.net, which would be essential for Coldplay fic. So yeah. I love AO3. You guys should really prance on over there and join the fun. There might not be a large audience for you fic there, but I think it'd be nice in that your fic would be easier to read. And guys! Thanks for your warm welcome and kind words concerning my reviews. It’s good to know that what I say is helpful. Oh and Dianna, can you clue me in on what G/F means? I feel like I should know, but I don't.

Is there anything in particular you'd like me to read? Because if you give me the links I probably can. Hit me with your best story. EDIT: Or your worst, if you really want me to try and help you improve upon that. I probably won't enjoy the experience as much, but it might be more helpful to you.

I'm taking Spanish this year, so I soon won't be able to say this (and I'm sure someone has said it already--it's such an obvious one), but when the only Spanish you know is viva la vida.

Either one works. Whatever you prefer. I think reviews can be tough, especially when a story is so good it leaves you speechless. In the end, though, I have the most trouble with my fics. I very rarely write long fics. My longest is around 2,500 words. I definitely average less than 1,000 words per fic. I just don't have what it takes to write long stuff. I'm taking Creative Writing next year in school and I'm very nervous about it because I don't have a lot of confidence in my writing. And I noticed you're my age on your profile, which is cool. Curious, will you be a senior or will you be going to college this year? I have a friend who's right in between us and a friend a day younger than I am who will be starting college, but I'm not since I failed my kindergarten screenings (I refused to sit in the chair when they asked me too and I wouldn't build the blocks the way they wanted. I was just an independent child!). Of course if I'm prying you don't have to tell me. :confused: (These smilies are really fun.)

Hi! *waves* I'm Finny, of course. Though if you're looking for my real name, that's Betsy. I actually really like writing reviews and try to be as helpful as possible. I mean, it's the best gift I can give to someone who has already given me an even better gift of a story. Fanfiction writers recieve nothing but reviews, after all. I write some fic myself, in mostly in Harry Potter fandom (I haven't the guts to write RPF in the same way I don't have the guts to write smut. But I do read a bit of both, obviously.), so I can definitely understand both the frustration in not getting any reviews and the complete joy you get when you're given a good one (even if it has some criticism, which is only better because the person cared enough to want to help you improve). So yeah. I do honestly do my best to give detailed reviews and often find myself apologizing profusely when I can't think of anything to say.

Ooh! I liked Guy insulting William. That was great, comparing him to King Charles. And this line: "Guy decided what his side was a long time ago. Scotland was aware of everything that had been happening in the South of Britain. Therefore, he knew he wanted no King to rule with austerity and arrogance, forgetting other opinions and, most of all, the division of powers." What a perfect way to end the chapter. Prose is still good and I like the dialogue as well, which is good for you. I really don't have as much to say about this chapter as I did previous ones, but I assure you, I liked it.

So I didn't really like your first OC (Was I even meant to?), but I do like Dianna, quite a bit. She seems really interesting. It almost felt a bit too simple, Guy getting food AND a job in one fell swoop, but whatever. I liked how she was a bit mysterious and I loved her line "It's not taking if I give it to you" (paraphrased). Another thing I liked was the first sentence, "As eerie as the city was during the night, when the sun shyly appeared through the branches of the tall, dark green trees, London was a new place." I thought that was really a nice image, especially how the sun was shy. My favorite bit of this chapter was Chris. Christopher. Whatever you're calling him. It feels more natural to say Chris, but Christopher is technically his name in this fic (Well it's technically his name in real life too, but you know what I mean.). Anyways I really enjoyed the little ways you characterized him. How he was smiling, how he just talked and talked. It was just really quite endearing. And I also think I found the answer to my last question, concerning what your plans are in terms of relationships, while reading some earlier comments on the story in this thread. So this Dianna (Who is apparently based off another person here? Is this in name only or in personality or what? Gotta have a question each comment and this is my question now.) will be with Guy? That sounds promising as I did like her and unless her personality takes a sudden turn for the worse I imagine I'll continue to like her.

Okay. So you confirmed my suspicions about the time period in this chapter. Good. But. This is a very big but. You have a major, major, most painfully glaring anachronism. Guy has a photograph of his mother. Silly, photographs didn't exist back then! So I'd correct that. Maybe replace it with something special that belonged to his mother? Because I doubt someone as poor as your Guy would have enough money for a portrait, and that'd be very clunky to drag around. Anyways, the prose is still quite good, and I think the dialogue is better from last chapter. I do have to say, that I don't understand why Emily was really necessary. That just created drama for me that ended up fizzling out as the chapter ended. It was too melodramatic for my tastes, what with her claiming she'd make like Romeo and Juliet and kill herself if she couldn't have Guy. So I adored your description of the streets right when Guy and Will--er William--left the tavern to go find Jonathan. I found that really nice. I'm curious, do you plan on making this story gen or are you looking to have any romance in it? I just want to know. I don't really care what you do, whether it's Guy/The King (That'd be pretty wild) or Guy/Some OC or Guy/one of the other guys. Maybe you want it to be a surprise? In which case don't tell me. EDIT: Forgot to mention I loved the little bits of humor you added. EDIT NUMBER TWO: I totally forgot what I meant to be the central point of this review. *headdesk* Anywhoo, I like how you're characterizing Guy. Quiet, unassuming, but with a definite fire to him that is brilliant. So keep up the good work!

Destrokk, your little comic, "Will, you're always wrong," was utterly adorable. It made me grin very, very widely. And LoverInJapan, m'dear (I probably shouldn't even call you that, as I've never said--well, typed, technically--a word to you, but whatever.), I read the first chapter of Cemeteries of London. I liked the sort of dreamy atmosphere, especially in the beginning. Really nice prose. Some of the dialogue felt sort of stilted to me, though, so you might want to work on that. I also feel as though you probably should have mentioned he had a BFF when you were describing his childhood, just because that kind of came out of nowhere for me. But about said descriptions of his childhood: PERFECT! Very beautiful, I thought. Chasing dogs! And Guy totally does have big pouty eyes. I think they're terribly pretty ones. Also, for me it wasn't quite clear what happened to his mother. I think she died, but it was sort of confusing and not very clear. So my next sentence is going to have spoilers for The Great Gatsby, so I'm putting it under the spoiler tag. Like major spoilers. I guess it should be flattering to be compared to F. Scott Fitzgerald, but in this case it's really not. So to sum things up: Prose=beautiful Dialogue=a bit unnatural Plot=Slightly confusing, but overall interesting enough to keep me reading Also this is some sort of AU, correct? Historical? I can't quite pinpoint when. Is it some time during the English Civil War? I'm trying to look back on my European History class and I'm sort of remembering something that had to do with religion and Scotland during that time period, but it's fuzzy. I was more interested in the French Revolution, myself. SOMEONE SHOULD TOTALLY WRITE A FRENCH REV AU! THAT WOULD BE EPIC! *ahem* But do explain the exact time period for me, if you please. Hopefully I'll get more read soon, though I may get distracted as I have all manner of Harry Potter fanfiction opened in various tabs.

Really. Well I hope your grandmother's okay.

That's SO me concerning the guys I meet. Coldplay and Harry Potter. If they don't like either it's kind of a deal breaker. I guess I should add one. God, I can't think of any. Well, I still mope over the fact that my brother does not like Coldplay (!) even though I found that out years ago.

I'm gonna be lame and repeat what the last two people have said, but The Scientist. It's just really quite awesome. They lyrics are what really shines in it, though the music is excellent too.

You're right. That's actually a really good idea. I may have to do that.

Is it bad that I don't own any of them? Yes. I'll answer that for myself. It is bad. I'm so cheap that I got my CDs from the library and put them on my iPod. I'll try and justify that my saying that I leave things lying around so much that I'll probably step on them and break them. No really, you'd be surprised at how many I've broken by stepping on them. It's depressing. But that's really no excuse, is it? I feel pretty bad about it, though, because I really should be giving Coldplay my patronage. So I think I should make some sort of August resolution to actually get hard copies of their CDs. It's like a New Year's Resolution but in August, a month that doesn't even have any holidays to claim I'm making a resolution for.

Les Misérables...again. Enjolras/Patria=OTP, yes? So yeah. Amazing book and highly recommended. You won't regret it.

Fun! And Ainsley, those forest boys are quite possibly the cutest things I have ever seen.

I actually really like this optimistic view of this line. I do also like the idea that it's accepting death, but the instrumental for me is so uplifting that that interpretation sort of clashes. Also, is anyone else reminded of the hymn "O Love That Will Not Let Me Go" when they hear the line "Oh love don't let me go?" I know that must just be pure coincidence, but it really does make me smile when I hear it.

If it's so hit and miss, can you tell me what songs/albums are the hits and which I should just avoid? Because I'm curious and would like to hear some of their music (I've only heard a few songs), but I'm not sure where to start. Thanks. :)

Let's just agree to disagree, guys. You're obviously not going to change the other's opinion and you've descended into petty insults.

I love how 2% say other. So he must be what, Mormon? Jewish? I don't know.

Yeah I do. I've taken classes called Studio Art, Drawing and Painting I and Ceramics. This year I'm taking Photography. They're all a lot of fun.

That's precisely what I mean.

I commented on the shoes drawing on dA. So you should get that in your messages. :) And I guess it's true that I don't have to claim it as a self portrait, though that was the assignment. Most of my class's paintings were pretty crazy and didn't look like the actual people either.

I have to agree with you. That would've been pretty awesome.

Wow! Thanks for helping guys.