Coldplay. Perhaps you've heard of 'em.

 

The U.K. quartet is undeniably the No. 1 musical event of the 21st century, to date. No other crew of multi-platinum newbies comes close to matching its international stature. Today the group holds the reins of the U.K.'s music scene -- beloved by fans and inspiring no end of copycats on both sides of the water.

 

It's also the fuel for the EMI Group. When EMI announced the release date for Coldplay's new album, X&Y, was being delayed, the company's stock price plunged. That's real power in the industry.

 

The evolution from nobodies on the bill at a University College of London mixer to megastar stadium fillers was fast as lightning. The three huge-selling albums to its credit came out faster than Radiohead takes to record one project.

 

Coldplay is frequently and favourably compared to both Radiohead and U2. You certainly can hear plenty of each blended into songs such as In My Place and Shiver. Perhaps too much. The fact remains: These guys are still too Yellow to be serious contenders to the rock 'n' roll throne. Here's 10 things that need fixing:

 

1. Chris Martin and ?: Quick, name another member besides Mr. Paltrow. Given time, you might come up with guitarist Jon Buckland, drummer Will Champion and bassist Guy Berryman. Real bands have faces and personalities that go further than the singer who keeps talking to the camera in videos.

 

2. First, Same As the Last: No question, Martin knows a good hook and announces every tune's swelling, symphonic build to the chorus with it. Very U2, that. The problem is that nothing happens beyond that. All the lush, meticulous production --a la Radiohead -- in the world can't cover for formula. When the formula is free of edges and crunch, you're left with Pablum.

 

3. The Lyric Thing: Some apologists have suggested Martin's poetry is also a vehicle for melody and beauty. That the meaning in his overwrought words isn't important. This snippet from the hit Clocks supports that contention: "Lights go out and I can't be saved/ Tides that I tried to swim against/ have brought me down upon my knees/ Oh I beg, I beg and plead." Take a page from Iceland's Sigur Ros: if you don't have anything to say, just sing pretty sounds. They'd still break the girls' hearts and make them cry.

 

4. Rock star kid names: Remember Dweezil and Moon Unit Zappa? Zowie Bowie? Now those were some messed-up "I'm a stone-cold freak" type offspring monikers. But Apple? Was something wrong with iMac or iPod?

 

5. S.N.A.G. Factor: There is nothing wrong with male vulnerability. Boys do cry. Particularly sensitive new age guys like Chris "Mr. Sensitivity" Martin.

 

Check this quote from Rolling Stone: "I don't know if this will ever happen, but we did ask ABC if we could appear on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. That show, to me, is like taking one of the worst sides of our culture -- reality TV -- and crossing it with the best side of human nature. It makes me cry every time." Sniff, who has a hanky?

 

6. Politiks: Nothing wrong with maketradefair.com. Ditto planting 10,000 mango trees for Future Forests. Any band that turns down corporate endorsements is on the right track. Heck, even setting aside 10 per cent of all their profits to donate to designated charity is cool. Given all of these positive things to say, would it really be that difficult to write about something other than melancholic love?

 

7. Jimmy Fallon/Mad TV/etc.: You know you've become a cultural icon when comics go after you. You know you've got a problem when their gags have more legs than your songs. Once you've heard Jimmy Fallon's "I bought this troll/ I bought this troll for you/ and it was all yellow," you can never hear the original song the same way again.

 

8. Mainstream Alternative: A Rush of Blood to the Head won the 2002 Grammy Award for Best Alternative Music Album. The album was indeed an alternative to Travis, Embrace and all those other acts. Stacked against other nominees such as Radiohead's Amnesiac or Bjork's Vespertine, the album is as mainstream as it gets.

 

9. Oasis Quote: Not that the Gallagher brothers deserve respect, but when Liam said, "They are four Didos with willies," he permanently etched an impression of the band on the public mind that fuelled a growing backlash.

 

10. The Next Step: Each record has been more hyper-produced than the last. Unless you happen to be Blue Oyster Cult, getting exactly the right cowbell sound doesn't matter that much. It's as if the four musicians have forgotten everything about what it was like, bringing genuine feeling instead of gloss to the sound. Martin has said a change is coming. Given the mega sheen on X&Y, chances are the group will try to go for something much edgier.

 

Many hip-hop producers have sampled Coldplay's songs and Martin is quoted saying that Timbaland has expressed interest in working with the group. Rumours abound about the Neptunes talking shop with Martin & Co., too. Drop it while it's Cold ...

 

Coldplay are at Scotiabank Place tonight. Tickets & times, 599-3267, http://www.capitaltickets.ca

 

Source: http://www.canada.com

Meh.

 

More like "10 things I don't like about Chris Martin".

so true

So glad they choose Canada for the new DVD, they're so loved there. :blank:

But Apple?Was something wrong with iMac or iPod?

Actually,they named baby because of the Beatles's recording campaign

So glad they choose Canada for the new DVD' date=' they're so loved there. :blank:[/quote']

 

OMG no!!!! Don't let some "journalist" who couldn't tell his right from his left form your opinion about Canada!!!!!! They ARE loved here!

hmm well dont know quite what to say about that...erm....

I'm just going to laugh :lol: and send this reporter a stuffed animal and some home baked cookies!!

same shit we've heard a million times, boo hoo they don't like coldplay. :rolleyes:

I'm just going to laugh :lol: and send this reporter a stuffed animal and some home baked cookies!!

 

LOL.

 

I guess if they all wore eyeliner and leather and acted like complete arses in public they'd be more 'macho' or whatever. :rolleyes:

i can't dissagree with the statement about x&y's "sheen" - def. hit the nail on the head with that one.

Meh.

 

More like "10 things I don't like about Chris Martin".

 

i agreed its all bullish

1. 1. Chris Martin and ?: Quick, name another member besides Mr. Paltrow. Given time, you might come up with guitarist Jon Buckland, drummer Will Champion and bassist Guy Berryman. Real bands have faces and personalities that go further than the singer who keeps talking to the camera in videos.

 

 

Yeah...name the other guys in U2 that don't have a dumb nick name.

 

2. First, Same As the Last: No question, Martin knows a good hook and announces every tune's swelling, symphonic build to the chorus with it. Very U2, that. The problem is that nothing happens beyond that. All the lush, meticulous production --a la Radiohead -- in the world can't cover for formula. When the formula is free of edges and crunch, you're left with Pablum.

 

So...esoteric ramblings are better than melody then?

 

3. The Lyric Thing: Some apologists have suggested Martin's poetry is also a vehicle for melody and beauty. That the meaning in his overwrought words isn't important. This snippet from the hit Clocks supports that contention: "Lights go out and I can't be saved/ Tides that I tried to swim against/ have brought me down upon my knees/ Oh I beg, I beg and plead." Take a page from Iceland's Sigur Ros: if you don't have anything to say, just sing pretty sounds. They'd still break the girls' hearts and make them cry.

 

The same can be said about journalists.....try typing pretty sounds if you don't have anything to say to buddy.

 

6. Politiks: Nothing wrong with maketradefair.com. Ditto planting 10,000 mango trees for Future Forests. Any band that turns down corporate endorsements is on the right track. Heck, even setting aside 10 per cent of all their profits to donate to designated charity is cool. Given all of these positive things to say, would it really be that difficult to write about something other than melancholic love?

 

John Lennon...one song about peace and that's what you remember about him.

Coldplay....equal sign on hand and piano.....no banging on the head needed to get the point accross.

 

 

. Jimmy Fallon/Mad TV/etc.: You know you've become a cultural icon when comics go after you. You know you've got a problem when their gags have more legs than your songs. Once you've heard Jimmy Fallon's "I bought this troll/ I bought this troll for you/ and it was all yellow," you can never hear the original song the same way again.

 

Jimmy who?.....after SNL, what's he done?...did you see taxi?...nobody else did either.

 

8. Mainstream Alternative: A Rush of Blood to the Head won the 2002 Grammy Award for Best Alternative Music Album. The album was indeed an alternative to Travis, Embrace and all those other acts. Stacked against other nominees such as Radiohead's Amnesiac or Bjork's Vespertine, the album is as mainstream as it gets.

 

Grammy's? You're kidding right? Nobody's in the right catagory in the Grammy's...but I guess that's Coldplays fault too?

 

9. Oasis Quote: Not that the Gallagher brothers deserve respect, but when Liam said, "They are four Didos with willies," he permanently etched an impression of the band on the public mind that fuelled a growing backlash.

 

Hey, I love Oasis....but they've released the same album for 10 years.

 

10. The Next Step: Each record has been more hyper-produced than the last. Unless you happen to be Blue Oyster Cult, getting exactly the right cowbell sound doesn't matter that much. It's as if the four musicians have forgotten everything about what it was like, bringing genuine feeling instead of gloss to the sound. Martin has said a change is coming. Given the mega sheen on X&Y, chances are the group will try to go for something much edgier.

 

Many hip-hop producers have sampled Coldplay's songs and Martin is quoted saying that Timbaland has expressed interest in working with the group. Rumours abound about the Neptunes talking shop with Martin & Co., too. Drop it while it's Cold ...

 

 

Huh? Dude, how many words do you have to submit to get paid every week?

 

I love Coldplay bashers......not sure how they get enough oxygen to the brain though with there heads so far up there butts.

amen hahaha

amen

 

Don't forget this..

 

 

:laugh4:

LMAO! :laugh3:

mmm the guy that wrote this must be an active member of the Lounge on the Coldplaying message board. :wink2: Oops, did I say that outloud. :angel:

mmm the guy that wrote this must be an active member of the Lounge on the Coldplaying message board. :wink2: Oops' date=' did I say that outloud. :angel:[/quote']

Shhhhh.. they'll hear you!

 

:laugh4:

angie...

 

:laugh4: :laugh4:

Ohuhhh....is this turning into a Coldplay-lounge fight now!?

I would say.....ridiculous!:wink:

no just several people from there have come in here to profess their dislike for the band.

Just reilly said that if memory works and we all knew that.. who else?

Oh who?

Just reilly said that if memory works and we all knew that.. who else?

 

Took the words out of my mouth Ren!

And then complain about the forum content as if that is going to change their dislike or make them interested in the guys all of a sudden.