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Chris Martin's Christmas Presents Suck!


busybeeburns

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IF you are a close pal of CHRIS MARTIN brace yourself for disappointment when you open your pressies tomorrow.

 

The COLDPLAY frontman – worth £30million – has done his Christmas shopping in the household appliance section of John Lewis.

 

But don’t expect a plush cappuccino machine, or hair straighteners if you’re a female pal – he left with three Henry vacuum cleaners.

 

To quote LIAM GALLAGHER – what a “plant pot”.

 

Explaining his buys as he left the homeware section of the department store on London’s Oxford Street on Friday, Chris said: “Some of them are gifts and one’s for me.

 

“I love to do the housework. I don’t really see the point of getting someone else to do all your day-to-day chores.”

 

I always thought Chris was the kind of fella to have a tidy house.

 

I bet his Lego was organised with colour coding when he was a nipper, too.

 

Henry is fast becoming the biggest name in the world of celeb vacuuming.

 

The jolly red appliance, which costs £100, is a favourite of sex-mad comedian RUSSELL BRAND. He used to pleasure himself with a Henry when he was a confused teenager.

 

Vacuum cleaners aside, 2008 is shaping up to be a big year for Coldplay, who are due to release their fourth album.

 

It seems the lads are in good spirits. They posted a cover of GEORGE MICHAEL’s Last Christmas on their website last night.

 

The boys were kind enough to send me a picture of them singing the Christmas classic around the piano in their studio.

At least they didn't send me a Henry ...

 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/article616032.ece

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ohhh my god, i cant believe people write articles about celebrities APPLIANCES. this is what the world is coming to.

 

all the same...:laugh1:

and if he's buying one for himself, i sincerely doubt that one of the others is for gwyneth. if they start using this as "evidence" in their supposed "rough patch" (though the press seems to be pretty much over that) then we know the worlds gone bezerk.

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Yeah and maybe Henry is Prospekt :P

 

Woah, everything is so clear to me now!!! Honestly, if I ran down stairs on Christmas morning (I did this year and all I got was 25 bucks :tongue:) and found a Vacuum Cleaner with a note stuck to it saying:

Dear Rach

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Oh yeah, the release date is.....

 

Love from

Chris

 

I would probably have a seisure...

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^oh my god, its already christmas in australia...

 

so i read this article earlier this afternoon, and it took me about 6 hours to completely get it. i was thinking like "a vaccum cleaner really isnt that crappy of a gift from anyone...why does it suck?"

and then it clicked...vaccum cleaners...suck...his gifts do actually SUCK THINGS UP. oh man. i can really be slow sometimes.

 

but like others have said, perhaps its not the most thrilling present, but getting a present from chris martin is a thrill in itself.

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Haha! Suck! Og dear, I only got that then!!!:laugh3::laugh3:

 

Yes, Chelsea, it's Christmas here and I got ANOTHER gift voucher!! (Plus clothes, a CD, a Sims 2 game, 2 bracelets a necklace, a minifish tank and a mug..)

 

If Chris sent me a freakin' piece of card board I would be happy as...something really REALLY happy...:uhoh:

 

Anyhoo

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Haha! Suck! Og dear, I only got that then!!!:laugh3::laugh3:

 

Yes, Chelsea, it's Christmas here and I got ANOTHER gift voucher!! (Plus clothes, a CD, a Sims 2 game, 2 bracelets a necklace, a minifish tank and a mug..)

 

If Chris sent me a freakin' piece of card board I would be happy as...something really REALLY happy...:uhoh:

 

Anyhoo

 

sims2 ROCKS.

 

i'm glad i'm not the only one that was slow. i was driving home from a christmas party when i figured it out and i just cracked up.

 

i ran on here ASAP after doing christmas with my family just in case my dream was right and coldplay decided to put up some album info as an extra-special christmas prezzie, but alas, no. it was a VERY radiohead christmas for me, though: a cd and 2 dvds!

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Liam Gallagher shouldn't call anyone names; this is a guy who is still getting into bar fights in foreign countries.

 

I DOUBT if Chris bought the Mrs. a vacuum cleaner.

 

Besides, if someone is nice enough to buy you a Christmas present, you don't make nasty comments about it.

 

Besides, I wish someone would buy ME a pricey Hoover. I could use something like that!

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"has Chris heard about common gifts like.. clothes, jewerly, or even money..?"

 

 

Chris Martin is not a "common" guy. He's different!

well..

but that gifts that he bought are very strange gifts..

and he's not common... but he's not God either..

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so what?? its a luck to receive a present from a man named CHRISTOPHER ANTHONY JOHN MARTIN... anybody agree??????? :P

_________________________________________________________

 

Totally. Perhaps an anti-materialist gesture?...i dont know. By the way is chris alone worth 30m Pounds? or the family? ie Gwenyth aswell.

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  • 11 months later...

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