1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for

I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact,

just fuck off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat

tyre.

3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your

neighbour's milk, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you pass wind.

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a

couple of mortgage payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their

shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and

he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was

probably worth it.

14. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

15. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

16. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from

bad judgment.

17. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it

back in your pocket.

18. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

19. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and

it holds the universe together.

20. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and

he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

very wise

*rotfl* oh fook it was a classic !!!

"9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a

couple of mortgage payments. "

 

hahaha soooo true.. :lol: :D

Funny stuff! haha

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

The first one was the best! :D

:lol: Wheeee those are funny.

15. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

:huh: :lol: :lol:

16. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from

bad judgment.

22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 

 

Not bad.. not bad..

 

 

:D :lol:

That was great!

 

My favorite was #10.

#7

:lol: that's great!

 

hehe i like #7

 

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

17.- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it

back in your pocket.

 

.......... How wise! :lol: