My contrubution. :)
Sometime in 2008........
Chris, Jonny, Guy & Will are all sitting in an office on the top floor of Coldplay headquarters, all wearing nothing but Y-front's.
Guy: I can't believe the air conditioning is broke in here. I'm sweating.
Chris: I know! If only I'd got a haircut i wouldn't be so hot.
*short lived silence before....*
Jonny: Is it me, or do I look HOT! in my pants?
Will: It's you.
Chris: Shut the fuck up Will, He look's HOT!.... High Five J-man?
*They High-Five*
Guy: Boy's This is no time to joke, Phil has locked us in here from the other side of the room, we need to find a way out to tell the people of Coldplaying.com what the tracklisting is! Phil's threatening to NEVER tell them!
Chris: You're right... We need to get out of here, if we stay in here much longer in our pants, we might start doing things that only Lovers in Japan do to each other!
Will: That's a grim thought.
Jonny: I CALL CHRIS!
Will: Jonny stop being stupid!
Chris: Shut the fuck up Will.
*Will starts weeping*
Will: Why do you always say that to me? YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING THAT!
*Chris roll's his eyes*
Guy: Okay now I need time to devise a plan.......
*a short while later, they're all sitting staring out of the window on the top floor while guy is writing on a sheet of paper in the corner*
Chris: (his voice now gravely) I need a Glass of Water
Jonny: Me too, I'm sick of looking out over al these Cemetries of London on this miserable Rainy Day.
*Will turns to guy, He is pacing the room up and down in deep though*
Guy: (talking to himself) Leftrightleftrightleft - we're just going round in circles!
Will: So what's the Chinese Sleep Chant Guy?
Guy: The what now?
Will: Oh, it means Plan. They say it in china.
Guy: oh, right.... well, okay. this is what we need to do... Chris, I want you to grab me the strawberry's from Phil's desk over there and grab the string from the box of "String" in the corner.
Chris: That was convenient.
*Guy turns to will and Jonny*
Guy: Will, Jonny, I want you two to throw the painting of Gwyneth out of the window and quick, before Chris see's.
Jonny: I don't think I can do that! It's a famous old painting by a duet of Famous Old Painter's!
Guy: Just do it, oh and try not to ruin the Poppy Field's on Violet Hill just outside the window!
Will: We'll do our best, wow, I feel like we're living life on the edge!
Guy: You know, In Equador they say "Life in Technicolour" as opposed to "life on the edge!
Will: *in a mocking voice* ooooh I'm guy, I know everything!
Guy: Shut the fuck up Will!
Will frowns and turns away to do his job which guy has set.
Guy: Chris? CHRIS!! WHERE ARE YOU?
Chris: (his voice muffled) OVER HERE!
Guy finds chris sitting under a desk, looking panicked.
Guy: What's wrong chris?
Chris: What if we fail man? what if.... what if we never get out of here? What if Phil keeps the new album all for himself forever? I'm freakin' out man, And my hair is falling out and everything.
Guy: YOUR FUCKING HAIR IS FINE!!, wouldn't kill you to get it cut either!
Chris: okay, okay, I'm calm, you're right, it's fine, I just... I'm scared that when I'm 42 I'm going to turn out like lieam gallagher, Fat, and balding.
Guy slaps chris
Guy: Snap out of it man! We're getting out of here, and NOW! - so throw all of the strawberry's out of the window for a soft landing and tie the rope to the curtian rail, we're swinging out of here. on our Strawberry Swing!
*From the other side of the room Jonny shouts*
Jonny: YES! It totally worked!
Will: We're SO getting out of here!
*Will jumps out of the window*
Guy: WILL!! *he shakes his head nonchalantly* What....an....idiot. oh well, it's only will. Jonny, Swing out and onto the roof of the building opposite.
*Jonny swings out from the window of coldplay headquarters and lands on the roof of the building on the other side of the street*
Jonny: JERRRRRRRRONIMO!
Guy: okay Chris, it's your turn, and try not to fall like will did, or you know who'll be after you?
*Chris gulps*
Chris: The Easter Bunny? Matthew Fox from Lost?
Guy: No chris..... Death. And ALL his friends too!
Chris: oh no, I better say shout something off the top of my head that sounds religious as I swing....
*Chris begins to swing...*
Chris: VIVA LA VIDA!!
*Chris lands, Guy shortly follows*
They look down onto the street.
Guy: I wonder where will landed, I hope he landed on the strawberry's I got you to throw out for him.
Chris: How did you know he would jump out?
Guy: It's Will..... He does stupid things. Remember the time he set fire to that "Reign of Love" CD because he thought it wasa rip off of "Ring of Fire"?
Chris: Good point.
Jonny: What Next Guy? How do we stop Phil.
Guy: Now we march, onwards to Coldplaying.com to tell them we have a nw star on the site....
Jonny: I like the sound of a march.
Chris: Yeah, Like Prospekt's March or something
*They climb down a ladder at the side of the building and walk off into the sunset in their underpants talking amongst themselves*
Chris: You know.... I think there is alot of to learn from this.
Guy: Like what?
Chris: Well.... I'm sure if we recap the events that just happened... We'd have some pretty cool song names for the new tracklisting!
Guy Roll's his eyes.
THE END.
:cool: