Poets

[Best u Can]

A new one... written in 20 mins... after arguing with one of my friends... who isn't a friend anymore...

 

Called You can't

I liked this except the last line didn't seem right to me "in my maze" the "maze" just seems kind of random. I kind of like the way you use "me" the theme of the poem is rather simple "I changed for me, not for you" and I think you do well with your style but there are still a few grammatical things to work on maybe. I know you did some on purpose.. this poem sort of sounds like a conversation, if you could make it sound more like that then it might work better. for example when you said

 

"And what? What are you gonna do?"

 

you could try using a progression and answer the question for them..

 

I'm just trying to give advice cuz I like when people do that for me, I don't want to make you feel bad about anything. I'd be willing to give more advice but usually if someone doesn't ask then I don't give much but if you'd like it that's good. It's just that you've written a lot and I think you deserve some criticism and help or praise whatever you like.

[Best u Can]

Well' date=' this is one of my attempts:[/quote']

heh, I wish I could write like that... I kind of tried the past few days and it's hard for me...

[Best u Can]

tragic truth proof

 

with the normal exaggerations of a lover

to threaten and to promise her

to give and to ask forgiveness from

given more from above then

living more than life would permit us

living and dying for you I would do

and promises are words but search me

you could never find an unfortunate truth

so as evidence of servitude I submit

my bloody corpse

[Best u Can]

Intelligent Wisdom That You Might Want to Pay Attention to

 

a cat plays with yarn

a horse lives in a barn

but the cow

never knew how

she ended up jumping over the moon

[Best u Can]

any advice on this one would be very nice. I wrote this for a few reasons. 1. I'm bored, 2. I have a headache and 3. I love dave matthews (and I want to have his manbabies)

 

proof of my love

 

if you are made of jello

you can't possibly be a fellow

if you are made of jam

surely you are not a man

and unless your name is dave matthews

boy, I am never going to marry you

 

[ColdMike]

I liked this except the last line didn't seem right to me "in my maze" the "maze" just seems kind of random. I kind of like the way you use "me" the theme of the poem is rather simple "I changed for me, not for you" and I think you do well with your style but there are still a few grammatical things to work on maybe. I know you did some on purpose.. this poem sort of sounds like a conversation, if you could make it sound more like that then it might work better. for example when you said

 

"And what? What are you gonna do?"

 

you could try using a progression and answer the question for them..

 

I'm just trying to give advice cuz I like when people do that for me, I don't want to make you feel bad about anything. I'd be willing to give more advice but usually if someone doesn't ask then I don't give much but if you'd like it that's good. It's just that you've written a lot and I think you deserve some criticism and help or praise whatever you like.

 

It's ok. I agree with you about the fact I need to work on my poems... I consider them as a first try.

I'll accept all that ppl will say about my poems and I'll consider what you say for the following poems. I'll try to change some things in some of my first poems. When I read them now, they don't seem as good as when I wrote them first.

 

anyway, a new one.

 

Called Apart

 

I looked at the people there

Coming from no where

With their superstitons

They're common.

 

Each time I'm with them, I'm told

To be in a strange apart world

Wearing my preferences

I'm told to have a disease.

 

The masses are scaring me

I'm such an alien down here

I won't fall down on my knees

I'll carry on breathing , always.

[Gitta Rensolo]

Weird Lizard

 

weird

lizard

 

 

haha....I like that....so very random.....but it would never have come to my mind.....

[Best u Can]

When I read them now' date=' they don't seem as good as when I wrote them first.[/quote']

I know exactly what you mean. I hate that feeling, on the other hand sometimes you will feel so extremely uninspired and look back at a poem and say that you love it. At least that's what I believe. Keep writing and stuff will come to you and it will get easier.

 

sweet brontosaurus

 

I'm naked within when I am without

philosophically the brontosaurus

is my life at this moment

I beware of friends that aren't you

and befriend my passion,

loneliness is a time to dream about you

I tell you, you are my type of music

 

one pursuit of life, one

while rivers of them have passed

your virtue with your art

and symmetry astounds, confounds

my understanding of why you like it when I call you

"pretty girl," sweet brontosaurus

 

normal conversation (extension of "one before one hundred")

 

"he always sits there

and daydreams about a girl who lives in another country"

 

dude, stop

 

A page is ripped for you

an ambulance is called, to resusitate me from my love

"SAVE HIM, HE's AN IDIOT!!"

yesterday I wore a pink shirt, but you weren't there

the avalanches are ### good,

it's quite convenient you rock like an avalanche of boulders

 

God must have forgotten to add the MP3 player extension to the human body

 

the sky rains down in horror

and the day enlightens or reveals our souls

an inexpressible love is between two "lovers"

virtue is the strength of life

friends are in excess considering the billions of them

but why are these stupid iPod screens so fragile

 

This is a title

 

I ran out of inspiration

and paper, for that matter

well, actually inspiration is everywhere except in my head

I admit, I don't own it

go to the doctor and get the cure for a cold

I suppose the cure for inspiration also lies in chemistry

but I don't want prozac for sure, beer is a liver killer and

who knows what crap that will make me write!

so in one last effort I will lean on you

my lovely brain matter

which brings a matter up as it chooses, so be

I love you, brain

 

conclusion of a matter

 

a black man walks beside a green bush

the trash, one would say needs to be taken out

as some echo and sound goes into the ear of a person on a bench

he concludes that he is depressed

and too random

and someone else is reading his mind

and he should write some "crap"

he calls it "crap" because that's his clique

"gangsta" is a funny word to the male human-being-homosapien-sitter

he throws down his pencil and then picks it up to write the line

"he throws down his pencil"

 

just before I went to Chic Fil A

 

congratulations

I love you

I have friends who can hook me up with an engineeering degree

but honestly

I don't want one

I just realized that caffeine makes me want to cry

but don't worry, it makes me want to laugh, why?

I have no idea and I,

is the beginning word of 5 lines

Chic Fil A makes your spirits gay

[ColdMike]

although I didn't really wrote it... coldplay did it before me... the music doesn't change... but the lyrics do...

This is a Proof cover... I mean... it's called Light... but as I said you use the music of Proof to sing it... it works!

 

I really want to see you

Tell you I need you

When I think about you

I know I love you

 

So I've got to tell you

How much I love you

And I only sleep to

Have dreams about you.

 

I am waiting for you

What do you think I do

I'm so willing to

Spend a love night with you.

 

Light my life

With your bright blue eyes

Light my life, light.

 

I am waiting for you

What do you think I do

I'm so willing to

Spend a love night with you.

 

Now I am with you

All the things I do

I do it only for you

Then you know I love you.

 

Light my life

With your bright blue eyes

Light our nights, light.

 

Light my sight

With your bright blue eyes

Light our nights

Light, light, light, light.

[Bijeli_Miš]

Medicine

 

I need my medicine

I'm gonna die

Can't find it yo

Keep the man alive

 

Lack of it coses trouble

Been needing it for a while

Give me some of it

But now I need double

 

Lack of it is not fair

It's like a meal we all need

But many starve

Fight the famine yo

 

Mix, vanilla, or exotic

Not a picky crature

But I need that feature

Otherwise I'll die of drought

 

:cool:

[miriam]

A Loner in the Solitary

 

You’re building your own kingdom

While destroying the one

We’ve built up together

You’re putting brick on the brick

Making your path with all you managed to steal

And your shelter is going to get fallen

 

Your face is seam, your heart is nowhere

Now all your intentions are stripping bare

And the adrift under you

Won’t stay on the surface any longer

You’re going to get lost under

In the raging waters and

You’re going to be forgotten

A loner in the solitary

 

What could I offer you to make you stay?

It wouldn’t be enough anyway

What God bound, a man won’t tear apart

But you still keep on humiliating

I need a reason, I want to know

Why you want to drop the load

On the ones below

 

Why would we want to try to defeat

The end that is upon us

To drag the time back and prevent

Our hearts from turning into rust?

 

And no more screams or whimpering you will hear

This all has turned into silent solitary

[ColdMike]

A new one...

 

Called The Warming Sun

 

I feel the world beside my foot

I see this life I don't belong to

This warming sun is the only thing which is true.

 

I stare at the moutains, at this landscape

I fill Life in my heart' gap

This height, this lake make feel so great.

 

This shiver I can't hold back

All this feelings I have to unpack

Is there another lack?

 

Clouds are rubbing against the mountains

They know what I'm thinking, again

The warming sun sweeps out my pains.

[ColdMike]

Ok, as I promise to one of you, I'm going to post a poem about Chris...

I know I'm a guy.Although I think I'm straight, Chris would be the only guy who could question about this... and now, I'm not afraid to tell you I love Chris Martin.

 

and this is an exclusive poem! Enjoy!

 

So, this is A Thing Came To My Head...

 

 

A thing came to my head

I can see only you and me

Locked in eachother's arms

I love the warmth

That you give me

And your eyes

Are going through me

And reach the side

The hidden side of me

 

You've discovered me

Anyone do it before you

You make me so happy

Hearing you laugh

Hearing you speak

Seeing I'm caught

In your deep eyes...

 

In a so pure and azur sea

We have a bath, you and me

Then our heads are closer and closer

You kiss me, and it's so tender

Your salty lips make me shiver

The pleasure invades you and me

Your arms are trapping me stronger

I love your face, your smell

You're a so beautiful angel

 

Your soft cheeks are touching my neck

I feel something that you awake

It's strong, nice and I can't help me

To think about you! Oh! Honey,

You're the shinning sun in my heart

You're lighting our nights

Oh! I love you since the first sight.

 

I hear your voice, your soft voice

I love your lips' noise

When you talk, when you breath

Your unshaven chin, your eyes and your mouth

Everything about you takes my breath away

My hand travels in your hair, then

To your cheeks, to your lips, and

Those meet so violently

Locked in a love war

Your hands travel on my whole body....

 

Oh! Honey! What will we do, now?

I hear your love whisper

And then, we both carry on shiver....

[Gitta Rensolo]

^WOW.-.......i think it's brave of you that you post a poem like this...

[ColdMike]

^Thx... I wanted to share this.... now you know it....

[Kyuu]

.

[ColdMike]

Another poem... I didn't finish it yet...

So I didn't find a title...

 

Anyway, it's a good one, and as usual, it's a love poem!!

 

Quietly, in the dark we stand

On my back I feel your talented hands

Come on, you're going to win

You're going to reach the highest point of my feelings.

 

The movements you're doing on my skin

The shivers are going up and down through my spin

Your voice comes to my ears, very softly

You're whispering, it sounds like a lullaby.

 

The brush of our lips, the taste of our kisses

The warmth you're giving, the sound of your breath

This night is a tribute to love and to peace

Being with you is one of my strongest wishes.

[vertigo caz]

^^^Great job!!!!!

[Best u Can]

reflection

 

Assuming that there is a soul

oh, I envy it

this ant carries a crumb, home

if I could only carry this

 

understanding is more opressive than hell

I look inside to understand myself well

with a sigh

comes out my innermost being

assuming that there is a soul

at least it is submitted at this moment

to my most foolish and most wise control

 

though heaven and earth may weigh upon me

I lift it with mostly omnipotence

mostly not as high as it was before

when we were young

when it was easier to do, everyone knows

that a child supposes that in 10 more years he or she

will be happier than they've ever been

then comes responsibility

"labor under the sun"

"what profit is it"

"eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we die"

 

ignorance is the most empowering weakness.

most of our innocense is gone

but I don't care,

at least that's what we try to do

 

today while driving I tried to forget

the road, the gas, the car

how much I despise it all

assuming that there is a soul

drowning in a sespool of lying and confusion

it doesn't care

don't remind me, it feels great

to forget my mistakes

I forgive you so easily

it's sad, it's hard to forgive my sins

assuming that there is a soul

drowning in a sespool of lying and confusion

loving forgetfulness must be like loving emptiness

 

in that case I give a big hug to air,

do somersaults in outer space,

wear a suit for meteorites

and a parachute for satellites

[Best u Can]

mmmmmmmmooooooooo

 

if you feel like falling down on the floor

and sucking some solution that causes sexy seizures

relax, relations really relive painful events

relax here next to me

don't cause extraterrestrials to have sexy seizures

[ColdMike]

a new one...

It's the first time I try to write about this topic.

It's a sad poem...

 

Called Missing Love

 

This is all I've kept for myself

It's been eighteen years you left...

 

There's a lack in my mind

But I know I couldn't find

This missing love anymore

The missing love I'm looking for.

 

It's like my memories have been erased

This feelings I try to find, to chaze

Loads of things are really missing me

You were someone I needed.

 

Stabbed by a very dark sword

My heart starts to bleed

Under this rush of questions, I see

My mind which starts to be flooded.

 

Are secrets a part of my life?

Eighteen years have been wasted

Wasted because of those lies

Any excuse, any reason could justify this...

 

I don't know who you were

But I'm sure you were my father...

[janhaw]

Nice poem, very nice...

[ColdMike]

a new one, written few days ago.

 

Called The moon in your eyes

 

I look at your bright eye

Stuck in this dark sky

Travelling through the waves of mountains

It starts to talk to me, again.

 

I feel like if I just awake

This bright eye reflects in your sight

I can drown myself, my mind every night

In your eyes, such as a beautiful and deep lake.

 

This slight warm wind which is blowing

It's like your breath I can feel on my skin

The waves of shivers are going through my whole body

I can't do anything and you know you have me.

[janhaw]

Croatian poet: Antun Gustav Matosh -

 

I watched you tonight. In dream. Sad. Dead.

In a dreadful hall, in a flower-idyll,

On the high bier, in agony of candles,

Ready to give you my life as a sacrifice.

 

I didn't weep. I didn't. Astonished i stopped,

In a dreadful hall, filled with wonderful death,

Doubting that your clear eyes are now dark,

From where once a better life shined to me.

 

Everything, really everything is now dead: eyes, breath, and hands,

Everything i desperately wanted to revive,

In a blind terror and in passionate torment,

 

In a dreadful hall, in grey thoughts.

Only your hair was still alive,

So it tells me: "Be peaceful!, in death you dream!"

[ColdMike]

I wrote this poem today... It's a tribute to two lovers...

It's really a good poem, maybe one of the best I've already written.

 

It's called Beloved Perfection

 

The strengh of this love I'm feeling

The way my heart is beating

This love runs through my veins

I can't feel any pain.

 

You're my cure, my desire

You're the queen of my love fire

The warming sun of my little heart.

You help me to get out from the dark.

 

And you show me the daylight

You light my heart with the moonlight

And we take a delightful flight

Until the end of the night.

 

Each of your motions

Is a real and deep perfection

They shift all my expectations

You're my beloved perfection.

 

Through these few words

I send you my heart

I send you my love

Anywhere you're in the world.