If I got raped and I had an abortion' date=' 10 years from now, when I'm married and I have had my first child with my husband (all theoretical right now), I'm not going to be regretting it and thinking of random 'what-ifs' regarding an unfair action.[/quote']

 

you;d be able to live with the fact you had your own child killed?

 

 

at he first 12 weeks of conception... its been scientifically proven that it isn't a living fetus.. which is why it is recommended to have the abortion before the end of the 1st trimester...

 

its a living thing once it has developed a heartbeat and lungs to breathe.... until then, its just a fertilized egg....

 

I suppose you're against stem cell research as well then..

I think I'd be a decent parent, as no one is born a parent or with parental capabilities. But why would I birth a child with defects, diseases or AIDS/HIV, and then turn around and give it up for adoption?

well its a positive fact its not alive til after 12 weeks?

 

im not sure about stem cell research, i need more info on that subject.

let me make my point.

 

i say it's not murder because the stages of pregnancy are well known in science,i studied them this year and it's not until the 12th week or so that the fetus has a human shape and begins to have organs. In the first week it's a ball of cells, in the 3rd it's a hollow ball of cells and so on. It doesn't even look like a baby or anything close to it

And how can you bond as a mother-to-be, with a ball of cells?

i dont know then it might not be murder...but i sure would never want to make this decision...i know for a fact though after it has a heart beat its alive and it should not be aborted then.

yeah.but that's why there are certain conditions to be filled in the family clinics, like not being later than 1st trimester. i'm positive it is not murder

 

and by the way, if you or anyone for that matter don't want to have an abortion,then don't do it, but give anyone else the choice

I agree with that.

Amen, maiu.

so your sayings it more moral to kill it then let the child know the truth about its father and not being wanted...even if the child is not wanted that doesnt mean he/she will have a bad life, its very likely though...but its better to give them a chance then to just kill them.

 

it's not like it was a married couple that were not looking for a baby but will welcome it anyway, it's about a poor girl that got raped and had a child. It's not to be unwanted,it's to know that your own mother may have hated you at some point of your life, it sucks

This is what I think this is how the law should state:

 

(Take it or leave it, just my opinion ;) )

 

1) Any female under 17 must have parental consent and guidance from a counselor. If the female was impregnated by her boyfriend at the time, I think he should have a say in it as well, and if he's underage, his parents should be in on the discussion as well. This could cause alot of conflict as well regarding the bf's parents.

 

2) If a female is of age (18+), it should be her choice, as long as she seeks the proper guidance to incourage/discourage her choice.

agree 100%

 

nice

unfortunately not many people think like you here in Argentina and abortion is illegal (wich doesn't stop girls from doing it anyway,but with worse consequences)

Sadly, it is true and it's sad that so many people and coutries are narrowminded and don't think of the person's rights, but instantly just go for the rights of a child that can't even think for itself or talk for that matter.

absolutely

 

well, it's te world we live in

 

lucky me, my parents tought me to make a mind of my own...and here are the results

Yes, lucky for both of us. I'm also grateful that I've never been in the situation of getting raped and having to choose life or termination, but I've been in the presence of that information by my mom. When my mom was 15, she had an abortion after she got impregnated by her 17 yr old boyfriend at the time, and I think of it now as the child that would have been when she was 15, very well could have been me, and 7 years later after my mom got married to my biological father, she had me. (If that makes sense: Child terminated when she was 15, could be me now)) Also, a couple of years later, my mom got pregnant again with my brother, who is 19 now; my father wanted my mom to get an abortion because he didn't want the baby, but my mom did, which brings me to my reasoning about my position of abortion. My mom wasn't raped, she was married rightfully/legally with my brother being conceived in wedlock, but was still told to terminate because MY father didn't want it.

i have an experience exactly like that

my mom had two abortions when she was 19,she would've been unable to raise a child properly at that age. 4 years later she had me when she was married to my dad, then had my brother then divorced my dad. when my brother was like 2 she met another guy that was her partner since the beggining of the year and they had another child, my little brother (he's 2 and 1/2). He was completely unexpected,my stepdad asked my mom what she wanted to do, because she wasn't so young any more and the risks were higher than when she had me, but she had it anyway

 

hope it made sense :P

Makes perfect sense. Your mother was old enough and definitely had the experience as a woman with motherhood, so there was no reason as to why she should have given up the child.

 

So this kinda sounds a bit immoral, but I'm the oldest of 4 kids, and my brother and I are the only biological siblings, and my younger sister and youngest brother are my half-siblings and they are half-siblings. Now, I hope THAT makes sense ;) lol

of course

 

i think of my little brother as my brother brother because my dad wasn't there AT ALL, so leo(my mom's boyfriend) played the father role for like 9 years, he practically raised my 12year old brother and me, so i don't feel there's a difference between my brothers

 

my dad (whom i haven't seen in 5 months) is with a woman who has 2 kids of her own (i don't realte to them) and now she's got a baby with my dad who's the same age as my little brother, but i don't think of him as my brother or half brother because i don't have a relationship with him,although scientifically speaking he's the same as my mom's son

Yeah, my 13 yr old sister and 6 yr old brother, I consider my actual siblings. My father however, I hadn't seen him in 15 years because I live in one state and he in another, and he simply chose not to see us, but rather make up lame excuses to not see us. My parents divorced when I was 2 and I just grew up without him (out of sight, out of mind). I actually could care less about my father, considering how much of an insensitive assbag he can be towards me.

the same thing happens to me!!except my dad lives in the same town and doesn't even bother to come and see me

 

i've just realized this might be a little too private for the forum :P

lol Probably

 

And congrats on your thread lasting a few hours and going on for a week :lol:

yep,it's hard to believe,but i've had to bring it back to life a couple of times

Bonnie , I read all you 493854809 words as well and I agree with everything except for you said about adoption. In most cases I don’t think the child would feel like a mistake or unwanted, in fact I think it would feel just as loved and wanted as a child who wasn't adopted.

I am adopted (so is my brother) and I really don't feel like I'm unwanted by my parents, and I know that they love both me and my brother in the same way as they would if we were their biological children. I never wonder were I came from or why my biological parents put me in ans orphanage because my parents have told me everything they know about my background, but of course, it would feel weird if I didn’t know all that.

 

I feel sorry for the adoptive children who don’t know anything about their background and I’d get angry if my parents never told me anything about mine. It’s important that you can discuss those kind of things with your parents.

Bright, i agree with what you have said. what i meant is you can't guarantee the adoptive child is left in good hands or doesn't grow up a life of questioning and everything else. but then again i'd have no idea ;)

 

It's NOT good to say a mum is a bad mum if she mistreats her child?!

 

uhhh yes it is (i mean not a good thing, but a TRUE thing)

If anyone abuses/mistreats a person for any reason, they are doing bad/wrong. That is like, a fact.

 

No matter what happened for that mother to be in the situation...she has absoultely NO right to mistreat the child...it is innocent of any anger directed towards the it. And mothers in rape cases should look further beyond the truama (a tough thing to do...but no impossible) and think of this child as a life like any other and give the absolute best she can to make this kids life work...there is no harm in trying.. is there? Because life will give you it's kisses and it's kicks...he have to overcome them and make things better because (haven't we already) acccepted that life is NOT fair...the trick is to make it the best we can with what we have on the inside

ClearAsCrystal, sorry i know what i wrote was going to come across wrong, i was in a hurry. but what i was trying to say, is that it is inevitable that there would be some sort of dislike for the child, and not as much love as you would normally have for your own child conceived out of choice. if you were to be raped and left pregnant, it would be inevitable to not love the child as much as you generally would of your own child. why put the child through that pain?

 

but it's almost impossible for the mother to care about that child that was conceived in such a brutal way, it's even painful to go through pregnancy carrying it...so...why should the mother go through all of that?? isn't it better to prevent situations like those from the beggining??

maiu, that is EXACTLY what i'm trying to say, i agree with you 100%.

 

And for the person that stated that if you are raped, you should keep the baby because all lives deserve a chance, I disagree with you wholeheartedly because if I was unfairly taken advantage of, and was left in a bazillion emotional pieces and ended up pregnant, I would terminate because 1) It's unfair to ME for that a*shole to come and violate me and ruin MY future and 2) Because the baby may not be given a fair advantage at life in the first place naturally because there is always the possibility that the rapist's gene pool isn't all that neat and tidy, i.e.: diseases, abnormalities, defects, etc. and I personally wouldn't want to put a life growing inside me through hardships like that, not because I'm being selfish.

 

As for being a youngin' and getting knocked up, I think putting that hard of a responsibility on such a young age (ex: ages 12-16), abortion should be allowed if the parents and the child (the pregnant child, and I emphasize "child" because the mother-to-be is STILL A CHILD) have discussed the circumstances thoroughly together and with a trained/certified counselor and to see if all options are viewed and discussed.

greencouture, that is also EXACTLY what i was trying to say. agreed.

 

why should the child be murdered for the mistake of its father??? why pay for his/her fathers sin? its sad rape happens, and all rapist should have the shit beat out of them and put away for life..but we simply cannot kill teh child for the sins of the father.

mrcool011, and tell me, why should the MOTHER be put to suffer for the mistakes of the father? why should she pay TWICE for such brutal sins on behalf of the fuckwit father?

 

women don't abort just for the hell of it, as i said before, it takes balls to make that decision and i sticks in their conscience for a long time, but if a girl chooses to do it it's only because she thought it through

maiu, that is so true. people don't take it lightly, having an abortion is a weighty decision and it definitely takes balls.

 

first of all, how can you compare explaining a kid his father has passed to telling him his daddy forced her mother to have sex with him and then he was born?? it doesn't make any sense at all

 

second, how can anyone give a child stability when she doesn't have it herself. As i said, raping leaves a girl completely crushed,her mind ends all messed up...and you ask her to raise the child with love?? the child that came from that terrible and traumatic experience??

maiu, you are definitely on a rolllll here lol. i agree with that statement 100%. i don't know how i'd cope being the child of a raped mother. jesus christ it's horrible...

 

yeah..then THE CHILD will have the decision of life or death...they would be able to decide to if they wanna live...but its a hell of alot better then killing the thing...murder is wrong no matter how you slice it.

mrcool011, so you're saying to let them live and then let them decide if they want to commit suicide? :/

first of all, how can you compare explaining a kid his father has passed to telling him his daddy forced her mother to have sex with him and then he was born?? it doesn't make any sense at all

 

second, how can anyone give a child stability when she doesn't have it herself. As i said, raping leaves a girl completely crushed,her mind ends all messed up...and you ask her to raise the child with love?? the child that came from that terrible and traumatic experience??

I totally agree with you maia and bonita, for us guys isnt even possible to imagine the traumatic experience a girl has to go through if she's raped and gets pregnant.. how the hell is she supposed to take care and love that child after such horrible experience? Ppl who said that it doesnt matter just say it cos they havent lived that hell, its the worst that could happen to a woman and rapists arent even men to me, they're just fucking pieces of shit who deserves to die for do something like that to a girl