Are you a loner? Would you like to be?

 

The logic of a loner is that they maybe can have friends, but for the most part they enjoy living life completely on their own terms.

 

The idea of this comes from Crystal, who makes some interesting points about how she feels its really good to be on your own. I'll quote one post:

 

This is reasonable..the wanting to live alone. I have gone to movies with friends, and I have (most recently) gone to movies alone. Alone, I enjoy a movie ten times better. I get to pick it, I pick the seat, I pick when and where. And If I don't like the film, I can just leave all of these things are an amazing relief.

 

I have gotten tired of always having to do and go out when it is most convenient for anyone else. If I have to be spending MY money and MY time...I should at least make it worthwhile.

 

I can sympathyse with the idea, sometimes I feel like just going somewhere alone because it can be hassle. I live my whole life inviting people to go places with me and then end up having to wait for them and hear about their situation blah blah blah, and sometimes they can become completely ungrateful in acknowledging that I could've just gone alone.

 

But at the end of the day I'm too much of a social creature, maybe once in a blue moon I'll feel like going to a restaurant alone, but I do like someone there to chat with, the same with going to the movies, it would be shit if theres nobody there to make conversation with.

 

In fact, for me, I dont even go to see the movie, I go to have the company of a friend with me, pretty much, and the movie is just kinda there.

 

But I can see Crystals point. Discuss.

I think I am something in between,I really like company,but I also need lot's of "me time" by myself.

 

I think I am a bit like crystal there,if I wanna go somewhere etc a movie I hate it when people talk and ask questions,after all I am there to watch a movie,if I wanna talk etc..I'll go round to a mate's.

 

If there was constantly someone around me,I think I would go mad!! :lol:

I have gotten tired of always having to do and go out when it is most convenient for anyone else. If I have to be spending MY money and MY time...I should at least make it worthwhile.

 

i can agree with here there.

i usually put aside my ideas morals, i mean alot of my friends tend not to

have the same tastes as me.

 

I actually agreed to go see Hilary Duff concert because a friend didn't want to go alone! thank goodness she hates her now lol

 

It's good to have a sister one can get along with- it doesn't feel like an extra person and you can

bitch to her or about her all you like and you're still friends :)

also you can be spontanous and not have to worry about ringing friend's overprotective parents about late nights.

In some parts of my life I could say I am...for example when i want to go shooping..things like that I prefer to do on my own and alone..

but for example going to the cinema...no there I need friends with me..

hehe that just reminds me of last time we have been to the cinema...we watched "The Omen" and there were some shocking scenes...if my friends weren't with me it wouldn't have been that funny because we just laughed away or shocks!

 

And I would feel weird if I went to the cinema alone....don't know...but I don't like it..it looks as if i didn't have friends or something like that...and I would see the others who are there with their friends and have a lot more fun than I would have..

I completely agree with Julia.

It would be weird to go to the cinema alone... I'm sure I'd think just the same than you: "The others are having more fun than me" and moreover, I'd believe they're "judging" me for being alone there and not with my friends. It'd be an uncomfortable situation, although this doesn't mean I need loads of time for myself and my own thoughts.

 

Anyway, I think this topic we're talking about is a question of way of being: there're some people who are independent and dont need other persons around them for doing whatever they want to and the rest, always need someone by their side or otherwise they desist from doing it if they don't find a "companion".

I completely agree with Julia.

It would be weird to go to the cinema alone... I'm sure I'd think just the same than you: "The others are having more fun than me" and moreover, I'd believe they're "judging" me for being alone there and not with my friends. It'd be an uncomfortable situation, although this doesn't mean I need loads of time for myself and my own thoughts.

 

Anyway, I think this topic we're talking about is a question of way of being: there're some people who are independent and dont need other persons around them for doing whatever they want to and the rest, always need someone by their side or otherwise they desist from doing it if they don't find a "companion".

 

Yeah...I agree..

 

I mean ok...actually you shouldn't care what others think about you...whether they think you are alone or not....but then it depends on the persons character...I somehow couldn't live with the feeling that others think I have no friends...

but I bet others don't even care about that...hehehe...

exactly, theoretically you shouldn't.... but the problem is that I DO care, and this is what is stopping me for doing everything I want to.

And I'm sure you're right again, they don't pay so much attention to us, because they seem to enjoy the film with their friends but... as I said, its a question of your own character. Other people wouldn't give importance if they were in the same situation.

Perhaps they don't care at all about us but if you don't feel good with what you're doing... then you stop doing it.

I dont think i could ever be a loner!!

I love being around people, friends, family... Of course i do enjoy some alone time every now and then... but mostly when i need to do something that i need to focus, like studying. Just coz everyone is mentioning the going to the movies thing... well, i enjoy going to the movies with my friends... not too many, otherwise it gets kinda crazy... but 2 or 3 is ok... im not one of those who asks all the time whats happening, but i like to make comments every now and then. But i also dont have a problem in going by myself. Usually i go on weekdays, when no one can go with me, and to movies most friends wont want to come... its ok, but i have a better time when someone's with me.

 

I like to spend alone time when im home too... but usually coz i dont have the patience to be with my grandmother... Im not one of those people that bring tons of friends home, but i love going to their places.

 

I think im such a 'non-loner' that even when i go alone somewhere, i always end up chatting with the people around me, coz i think i just cant stay quiet for too long (and talking to myself is kinda boring and can look weird)!! :laugh4:

Yes. I am a loner. I mean, sometimes I can go somewhere with friends and have fun, but I'm like an observer, you know, it's hard to explain, but even when I'm in a company I like.. talk to myself in my head, dunno, just look at my friends from the outside, like I'm out of place there. Sounds stupid. Not always, of course, just sometimes, if company sucks.

Besides, I'm very nervious person. So if someone annoys me, even if it's just hair cut or behaviour, I think that it'd be great just to run away from this person and hide under my bed. So I suppose, it depends of people around me, but mostly I prefer being a loner.

Yes. I am a loner. I mean, sometimes I can go somewhere with friends and have fun, but I'm like an observer, you know, it's hard to explain, but even when I'm in a company I like.. talk to myself in my head, dunno, just look at my friends from the outside, like I'm out of place there. Sounds stupid. Not always, of course, just sometimes, if company sucks.

Besides, I'm very nervious person. So if someone annoys me, even if it's just hair cut or behaviour, I think that it'd be great just to run away from this person and hide under my bed. So I suppose, it depends of people around me, but mostly I prefer being a loner.

 

 

 

okay...while many comments caught my attention....this one is it.

 

There are so many different ways people enjoy or learn in life. Some people interact and they learn/enjoy...while other people sit back and watch the show.

 

When I am with company, this is how I am. I just sit back <<not literally, but I keep to myself for the most part...including myself when necessary or when I feel like it. THis way, I learn about people's characters and if they are worth talking to or befriending..frankly, this is rare.

 

 

Because lately, things in company of my friends has become..if fact - tedious and bland, and repetetive. Same people (so I have been trying to make new friends), same damn places, same old ideas.

 

 

 

I have always had that bit of a loner character. It started when I began schooling. I didn't speak English - my parents stuck me in an all english/non-bilingual school. I had to learn somehow and my way was observing. Meanwhile, my learning took place and I didn't have friends for quite a few years and I had to adjust to my own company.

 

 

That is part of the reason. The other is a huge family, always around, mostly annoying, sometimes okay.

The type of household we run is people coming in and out of our doors non stop. I fear this is not my style inside.

Because people like, expect you to talk to them and be nice to them..but I can't. Because sometimes they are not interesting or even remotely good people.

 

And I for one, don't always live to people's expections in this, if you care to look at my formalities thread :wink:

Hmm..this is an interesting topic.

 

I dont think I'm a loner, but I definetely like my own time, possibly more then I like time with friends. OK, well maybe not....but at times, when I could choose to go out with my friends, I dont. Im not sure why, its just a reaction. I instantly say, I cant go out...unless I know of the event before hand.

 

Its rare that I ask people to come out with me, I normally wait until I get asked to go out. Again, I dont know why. I often wonder if its because I really do just prefer to be on my own. But, thinking this way, makes me look like a loner...and I dont want to be loner. I guess I just want to choose the times I want to go out. But in life you cant do that.

At work, i prefer to work on my own.

 

Only because I feel I can get the work done quicker because you don't have any time where your waiting for the other person to finish doing the litter or the food. At college, it's best to be on your own, visit the shops you want to visit, look at things you want to look at, buy what you want to buy. Although it's nice to have some company to keep you company.

Oh yeah that's interesting!!!!

 

I'm as clearascrystal is!

I'm quite complicated....

I like to be with my friends...well, not too much....

I like have fun, but if i'm in a party, or in night club, I dislike to dance...I just watch the others dancing and having fun....

Sometimes I feel like a fool cos I think I'm not able to have fun...I feel like someone too serious.... I feel like someone who is missing a great part of his life, without having fun....

When I'm with people I don't know, I never talk...I think I wait for the others to talk to me...well now, this side of me is less and less here....

Oh yeah that's interesting!!!!

 

I'm as clearascrystal is!

I'm quite complicated....

I like to be with my friends...well, not too much....

I like have fun, but if i'm in a party, or in night club, I dislike to dance...I just watch the others dancing and having fun....

Sometimes I feel like a fool cos I think I'm not able to have fun...I feel like someone too serious.... I feel like someone who is missing a great part of his life, without having fun....

When I'm with people I don't know, I never talk...I think I wait for the others to talk to me...well now, this side of me is less and less here....

 

 

This is how I am. There are rare times when I will get up and par take in things . I suppose that because lately, there are less and less things to do with the friends I have now. Franky, I think I need to dump them. There is not even one reason I should consider them my friend right now. I think I have out grown them :uhoh:

 

I either wait for someone to come up to me and chat, (even though I hate the chat which is why I avoid it), orrr If I take in that the person is interesting enough for me after evaluating their actions and words I hear..I will take the initiative.

 

 

People think that I am too serious because of my ways. They think that I don't think anything when things like that happen. When I don't feel like dancing, they force it on me and I HATE being pushed into doing things ..So i might just leave or tell them to lay off me.

 

bah! friends are useless

I suppose that because lately, there are less and less things to do with the friends I have now. Franky, I think I need to dump them. There is not even one reason I should consider them my friend right now. I think I have out grown them :uhoh:

 

I either wait for someone to come up to me and chat, (even though I hate the chat which is why I avoid it), orrr If I take in that the person is interesting enough for me after evaluating their actions and words I hear..I will take the initiative.

 

 

bah! friends are useless

 

I have no real friends. I call a few people friends but just out of need, I don't like hanging out with them anymore and I feel like every word that comes out of their mouth is something stupid. Friends are useless indeed

*hand shakes*

 

We have too much alike, you and I.

*hand shakes*

 

We have too much alike, you and I.

 

Yes we do

omg!!!

a bad thought is going through my head...are we unsociable???:o

maybe :dozey:

 

I wouldn't say that about myself. If I feel like it... I can be very social.

And when in social situations I am not uncomfortable.

 

It's a totally different situation from freaking out when being around people. That is not me. I just avoid it if I don't think it's worth my time.

^I agree with u!!!

I can be social too...only with people I know!!!

 

Otherwise I look cold!and unfriendly...but when you discover me...It's like I have 2 "me"...

Oh yeah that's interesting!!!!

 

I'm as clearascrystal is!

I'm quite complicated....

I like to be with my friends...well, not too much....

I like have fun, but if i'm in a party, or in night club, I dislike to dance...I just watch the others dancing and having fun....

Sometimes I feel like a fool cos I think I'm not able to have fun...I feel like someone too serious.... I feel like someone who is missing a great part of his life, without having fun....

When I'm with people I don't know, I never talk...I think I wait for the others to talk to me...well now, this side of me is less and less here....

 

The same thing happens to me. I like to observe people, to try to get to know them by just watching them. I also like to get to know myself that´s why I like to be alone, I mean I like going out with my friends, but I love being alone, like for example, to watch a movie without being interrupted, or to just listen to music.

Sometimes I also think that I´m missing a part of my life, because in the future I may not be able to do some things I could be doing now. But being alone is so relaxing and most of the times I enjoy it. Besides I think it´s better to be alone than with someone you dislike or is stupid.

yeah..when it comes to learning and enjoying things to their fullest..friends/company is an interruption.

 

I can't listen to music unless its with another person like me who can keep their mouth shut and not say things when I am listening.

 

ANd learning alone is better because people get in the way and ask too many questions.

 

maybe i have adjustment problems...but at least alone i can enjoy and learn.

 

 

 

maybe i shouldnt get married either..learning and enjoying go hand in hand with marriage! :stunned:

^Omg!!

Exactly...!!!!

When you're listening to music you love ( well in a word...Coldplay), I hate that someone talks!

and when you don't want to talk and there is someone near you who wants to...That's unbearable especially when you get up....

I like to be lonely, quiet, without being bored...

Soooo Fine

That is totally what I was thinking.

 

 

I don't usually need anyone around to "discuss" their feelings and like. NOT listen to mine. :shifty:

I don't think I'm like that... Of course I need to spend some time on my own like everyone does, but I don't wanna live alone. I'd just find it horrible if I came home and there was nobody around. I really need people to talk to and just to be around.

 

If I'm going to the cinema or to a restaurant I always invite somebody to come with me. Of course I could go on my own, but I'd just feel unconfortable plus I easily get bored. The cinema's a bit different of course but it's more important for me to spend my time with somebody I actually like than watching the film.

 

I sometimes like to spend some time on my own, especially when I'm at home. I feel the same about listening to music, you can hardly ever really listen to it if there are lots of people around. It's just there but nobody listening...

 

Sometimes it's better to study on your own. My main problem is that I don't even start to learn, there's so many things I's prefer to do. If I try to study with a friend I usually just end up talking with him/ her, so it takes a lot more time.