Agh, its difficult this...

 

When a good friend moves away, overseas, or different complicated situations happen that mean you cant really see them anymore.

 

My best friend is a girl who I had a thing with for a few weeks last summer, while she had her boyfriend (I know, stupid of me), and hes overseas and really doesnt want us to see eachother anymore (Which is completely understandable really). She'd kind of had to lie to him about not seeing me recently.

 

He's moving here this year and its just going to be way too difficult, so I've decided it's just best if we try to not get further attached, and start taking breaks.

 

And already we're both getting pretty sad about it, its only been a week and we've been calling eachother quite a bit and we had to meet up last night.

 

We're just two people who can tell eachother everything, thats just not something you can replace.

 

Its gonna be tough.

I wrote you a lovely long reply to this, but had to take a call before I could post it, so the stoopid board has kicked me out and eaten the reply in the process. Will post again properly when I get home.

Coo :nice:

So, what I was saying before the board rudely kicked me off....

 

Its really crap when a good friend moves away, but it can also be the test of a true friendship. I have two close friends who I can no longer see very often. One I used to work with, then we both moved jobs, and its difficult to get time together anymore. The other has moved to Newcastle. With both of them I've found that no matter how long we're apart, it always seems like only yesterday we were together when we meet up again. We always slot straight back into place with no awkward silences or any problems. So long as there's livejournal, msn, email & text we keep it going!

 

Is there a group of friends that you hang around in together? Maybe if he got to know you, he might not be so worried and more likely to be agreeable?

I hate when things get in the way of friendships and people get hurt. I've had that happen to me not all that long ago. Its hard as you get older and your friends start moving away to go to university and stuff like that.

 

 

P.S. does this girl still with her boyfriend? Or is she sort of torn between the two of you?

So, what I was saying before the board rudely kicked me off....

 

Its really crap when a good friend moves away, but it can also be the test of a true friendship. I have two close friends who I can no longer see very often. One I used to work with, then we both moved jobs, and its difficult to get time together anymore. The other has moved to Newcastle. With both of them I've found that no matter how long we're apart, it always seems like only yesterday we were together when we meet up again. We always slot straight back into place with no awkward silences or any problems. So long as there's livejournal, msn, email & text we keep it going!

 

Is there a group of friends that you hang around in together? Maybe if he got to know you, he might not be so worried and more likely to be agreeable?

 

I see where youre coming from but me and her are both so lazy when it comes to keeping in touch. She never uses the internet and we both hate texting so I've always known that when we eventually move our separate paths (At the end of university, a year and a half away) that will pretty much be it apart from the odd email. But now her boyfriend moving up to Newcastle means its just going to cut short what time we had left.

 

Its not incredibly depressing but I guess I was in a bad mood when I made the topic. When your feeling a bit weak its just hard to accept that friendships mainly eventually have to come to an end, but I'll just accept it and move on.

 

I hate when things get in the way of friendships and people get hurt. I've had that happen to me not all that long ago. Its hard as you get older and your friends start moving away to go to university and stuff like that.

 

 

P.S. does this girl still with her boyfriend? Or is she sort of torn between the two of you?

 

Good lord Briggsy, did you read any of it?

 

Yeah shes with him, shes not telling him that Im always with her. She was a few months ago and was angry with him for expecting us to not be friends despite the past, but then we got drunk and silly on more then one occasion and I guess yeah, hes got a point.

 

Shes not torn between us, at least I hope not. The last thing I want right now is a girlfriend (Even if I get lonely sometimes) and she only shows rare signs beyond friendship.

 

So we're just friends and nothing more now, for deffo, and this friendship is going to get cut short sooner then it should.

sounds like a difficult situation, especially because you live in the same place so you're likely to see each other pretty often. do you have the same group of friends? in that case it would be even more difficult i guess...

 

well sounds like her boyfriend kinda knows that you're very close friends even if she didnt tell him.

 

 

losing friends is painful indeed. i met my boyfriend some of my most amazing friends when i lived in england. it was so damn hard when i had to return to my country and it still is. i do keep in touch with them but some of my friends there dont have internet at home, which doesnt make it easier.

 

 

 

Good lord Briggsy, did you read any of it?

 

 

Haha, yeah I actually read all of it but I think it may have been late or something when I read it.

 

But yeah that sucks its going to get cut short so soon. And I here you about being lonely sometimes but not really wanting a girlfriend at the moment. Thats sort of how I feel.

My best friend's got meningitis and I miss her too much. She'll be in the hospital at New Year night and I can't even visit her. I'm really sorry to know she feels that bad ad this desease... it's really dangerous. Meh that's way too sad. I don't have many friends and now when she's ill I feel kinda... lonely?

When my friend lost his memory (perminately) I didn't think we would be friends anymore because everybody wanted to be his friend when he came back to school after about a month in hospital (Nobody was allowed to visit). I didn't think I would be able to talk to him anymore. Basically whenever I got him alone I would talk for ages with him just like old times, I didn't want his lack of knowing anything to get in the way of our friendship, even if he didn't know we were such good friends. That was a time I thought I had lost a friend but now we are as good, if not better, friends then we ever were. I think the key to keeping friends is staying in touch and not letting them drift away. :\

I see where youre coming from but me and her are both so lazy when it comes to keeping in touch. She never uses the internet and we both hate texting so I've always known that when we eventually move our separate paths (At the end of university, a year and a half away) that will pretty much be it apart from the odd email. But now her boyfriend moving up to Newcastle means its just going to cut short what time we had left.

 

Its not incredibly depressing but I guess I was in a bad mood when I made the topic. When your feeling a bit weak its just hard to accept that friendships mainly eventually have to come to an end, but I'll just accept it and move on.

 

And you were perfectly entitled to be in a bad mood. Just coz you knew it was coming doesn't make it any easier. If you're good friends with someone it leaves an inevitable gap.

Well I think in everyone's life they lose a relationship with people...but then as times goes on, you meet more people. I'm not saying that they are replacing old friends, but nevertheless, they are still new people to be friends with, so I try to think of that as a good thing.

eessh that's a toughie. I kind of understand.

I have been friends with my best friend since we were in Primary School. About 4 yrs ago we were out one night and she met this guy. I instantly took a dislike to him. He was an arrogant prick - so not who I would have imagined she would have chosen! So I didn't think anything of it at the time because I was sure she would see sense soon enough! And now...4 yrs down the line, she's engaged to him,. they have a house, talking about moving to Canada....and I still can't stand him. To make matters worse, she doesn't know I don't like him! Also I found our recently that during an argument one night he had tried to bloody strangle her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's a horrible, selfish man and I wish she would see it!

 

As a result of this, I haven't seen her as much. I don't want to be near him. She doesn't know I know about that incident so it's really hard to be normal around him. I miss my best friend! :cry:

 

So I do kind of understand your situation. You feel so frustrated that you can't do anything about it. Like they're slipping away from you a little bit at a time. It really hurts.:cry:

ok, right now i'm having a very intense conversation with a friend of mine. and i can predict after the convo is over, we'll no longer be friends.

i am very conflicted right now.

i'm not sure what to do!

we've been in this position before but his words are cutting into me deeper than before.

i don't even know why i'm posting this, maybe to distract myself but this is going to end badly, no matter what way i look at it.

:(

I lost a friend...but she died...losing a fried its so bad...I go weekly to her grave...but thats not enough...shes not here anymore.:(

^ shesh i'm sorry to hear that.

well no one is really gone if you still remember them.

thanks...yeah..i know...she'll always be there..in my mind:)

Agh, its difficult this...

 

When a good friend moves away, overseas, or different complicated situations happen that mean you cant really see them anymore.

 

My best friend is a girl who I had a thing with for a few weeks last summer, while she had her boyfriend (I know, stupid of me), and hes overseas and really doesnt want us to see eachother anymore (Which is completely understandable really). She'd kind of had to lie to him about not seeing me recently.

 

He's moving here this year and its just going to be way too difficult, so I've decided it's just best if we try to not get further attached, and start taking breaks.

 

And already we're both getting pretty sad about it, its only been a week and we've been calling eachother quite a bit and we had to meet up last night.

 

We're just two people who can tell eachother everything, thats just not something you can replace.

 

Its gonna be tough.

 

don't even ask about this...

 

i "lost" all my friends a year ago... that period was hard

well whenever i've to go to a new place like from a institute or job or anything else like from one city to other i miss my friends a lot..guys...

oh i cannot control more...:cry:

The bad thing is that when you change school or move the house people who you thought were your friends don't call you, they forget you and that's it. That's the reason I'm not a fan of becoming friends with somebody from school/uni whatever else, one day these people will just disappear and you'll realize they were not even your friends.

^that's some kind of true

i change school 3 times and yes i lose alot of friends

but i also gain some too

i know it's hard to find a new friend

but in the real world... you have to

The bad thing is that when you change school or move the house people who you thought were your friends don't call you' date=' they forget you and that's it. That's the reason I'm not a fan of becoming friends with somebody from school/uni whatever else, one day these people will just disappear and you'll realize they were not even your friends.[/quote']

 

 

This is true, there are some people who don't even make the slightest effort to stay in touch and that can be a bit hurtful.

But I have been lucky enough to know people who always stay in touch and take the time to meet up with me when they can. I'm just meeting some friends this week actually, and the last time we were together so that I saw them everyday was in college, which was over 3 years ago.

 

I'm not going to dish out any advice to you about this Reilly because it would only be nonsense!

Hehe I'm not looking for advice, its just a factual situation. Cant be changed.

 

We talked on the phone last night, she was drunk, she mentioned if it resolves things if she split up with him, I know she was just being drunk.

 

I told her not to, she will miss me as a friend but at the end of the day her relationship is more important.

Are you willing to sever all ties with her or do you still want contact with her, even if it's not that often?

Hallo Reillo...

Hope ya still remember me...hehehehhe

I know how difficult that is...Ive been losing "friends"...

But life and specially people changes and they just want to go on with their lifes...that doesn't mean they don't love you...they just think that its time to grow up and that have some kind of cost and sacrifice....and more when somebody has someone in his or her life...

Dont worry about that...later your friend is gonna be looking for you again and i bet she's remembering you as her best friend ever.....

 

 

LOVE!!!