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if you see this album cover, run.


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From: http://mplimasol.wordpress.com/2008/07/23/if-you-see-this-album-cover-run/


it’s not worth the $10 of your hard-earned cash that you’ll spend at wal-mart. i mean, get yourself a pizza - for god’s sake - buy yourself a new shade of mascara or a cheap tie. just don’t buy “viva la vida.”


i am old enough to remember when coldplay was actually good.


advocating how to spend your money is a bit of a socialist idea (because, i suppose, it promotes a regulation of sorts). rather, you should look at this as one to another, one informed citizen to the next, free advice on how to keep more of your money in your wallet and less of the things you really don’t need in your home. i wouldn’t be saying any of this if i didn’t truly care.


i bought “a rush of blood to the head” when i was a freshman in high school. i’m sure that the album had been out for some time by the time i bought it. i really didn’t know anything about coldplay at the time. i didn’t own any “britpop” albums at the time. i perhaps only had about twenty music cds on my shelf, severely dwarfed by the number of computer software cds that i used to balance out the weight on my storage unit. the closest thing to coldplay that i owned was part of the tears for fears collection, and a cd by fatboy slim.


i still remember the day. it was a cold, rainy saturday of spring - march, perhaps - where the springs in this part of the country are typified by gray, death, and snow sludge. my dad was out of town on a meeting, so my mom took my sister and me out on a “girls’ day out” type occasion. i was wearing a wine-colored blouse and stonewash jeans. we ate at applebees. we say up on the side section in a booth with one of those stained glass-looking shades hanging overhead. my sister and i had the philly cheesesteaks with a blondie. my mom had the fish and fries. our waiter flirted with us. there was a kid screaming its head off for the greater part of the lunch.


i’m not really sure who suggested that we go to best buy, but it’s where we ended up after lunch. i remember walking up and down the aisles of the music section, undecided as to whether i was really tired of tears for fears or not, and nearly passed one of their promotional displays. normally, i don’t think i would have paid any attention, but there was something about the arrangement of the cds on that display that made me say to myself, “yeah, i should pick one of these up and just see what it’s like.” i was caught between blur’s best-of cd (which is still one of the best-looking cds in existence) and coldplay’s “a rush of blood to the head.” but - as i would come to find in the future - i always tend to be a sucker for a really good-looking cd, and my present preoccupations with rhinoceros modeling suggested to me that coldplay’s album was a hell of a lot more interesting.


the first thing i noticed about the cd, when i brought it home to unwrap it alone in my room, was the smell of the paper leaflet inside - the unmistakable smell of carbon neutral printing would be one that i would become accustomed to with other subsequent cd purchases (itunes, eat your heart out). but i liked the smooth, clean, pristine look of the package - the simple colors, the unifying themes; really, “a rush of blood to the head” is just a nice cd to look at, even without listening to the music.


unafraid, i snapped the cd into my cd player and listened without ceasing.


what i heard blew my little fifteen year-old mind.


even, that summer, when i got “parachutes,” nothing seemed to diminish from coldplay’s prowess. although relentlessly criticized, “parachutes” is not a bad album - in my own way, i could see the progression, could see that an album like parachutes had to have been created before something so bold and strong as “a rush of blood to the head” could be conceived.


indeed, it was a good time to be a coldplay fan. “in my place” had been a massive hit in the uk. “clocks” was getting a ton of radio play. the video for “the scientist” was being shown daily both on mtv and vh1. the nme had to run with its tail between its legs and admit to one and all that yes, perhaps coldplay was a viable band. coldplay even walked away with a few grammys, a mercury music prize, and a few moon men to accompany their performance on that year’s mtv vma awards. it was down to the wire, but i honestly believed that the loyal coldplay following had suffered the band through the gauntlets of fame, and now they were making an unbridled run for the top.


then something happened.


miss paltrow - gwenny ono, as i so affectionately refer to her - marked the end of an era. no longer was chris martin concerned with such trivial topics as activism and politics, only HIS activism and politics. the driving force behind coldplay’s creative flow had packed up its bags and stole away in the night, never to return. “x & y” was created and released in a hurry to fight back the criticism and incredulity that stood between coldplay and a third album, and the four boys from devon who had been so staunchly against any type of corporate conformity found themselves remolded in the shape of their enemies. they had jumped ship, traded camps, and left a loyal fanbase - the very fanbase that alone had helped them reach the very top! - disgruntled, dejected, and alienated.


don’t think i’m making this shit up. talk to some coldplay fans, young and old. there is a great divide between “rush of blood” fans who won’t lower themselves to listening to post-x-&-y rubbish, and post-x-&-y fans who aren’t intelligent enough to fully grasp an album like “a rush of blood.”


just as the q has bowed down before corporate giants like U2 and REM, so it bowed down for coldplay, with its fancy “5 stars! q recommends!” labels that don’t mean shit anymore, and the rest of the market followed suit. thus, we truly entered an age where someone said it was okay to sell out, and that selling out would actually make you a bigger, more bloated star than you could have ever imagined if you’d've just stuck to your guns.


there was no hope left. i heard the abysmal sounds of “x & y” on the radio, and it barely moved me to listen to the album even once. to this day, i have not heard the album the entire way through (anyone who knows me would say that this is a highly unusual behavior). i just couldn’t get through it. for a very long time, i fumed, infuriated that coldplay would completely destroy everything that “a rush of blood” had given to the world. it was as if they weren’t trying anymore, as if they just didn’t care. i guess being honest and making harsh political statements was just too hard of an act to follow. the disappointment was one so bitter that i could still taste its aromas years later. it was akin to a death in the family.


i was revived once more when, finally, muse released “black holes and revelations.” devon natives, muse, i always saw them in direct competition with coldplay, and even more so when i heard “absolution” for the first time. many parallels can be drawn between “absolution” and “a rush of blood” - sure, each band has got its own unique style and sound, but the message was virtually the same. i can’t tell you how overjoyed i was to hear that muse had not completely sold out with “black holes,” and again the anger surged as i said to myself, “see, this is where coldplay could have and should have gone!” some may accuse muse of adopting a cleaner sound for their most recent album, but behind it all i still see a band who remained true to their ambitions and loyal to their occupation - to make good music.




the abysmal whinings of “viva la vida” have been cluttering up the music channels for the past month or so, and i could not even bring myself to watch the video in its entirety. hearing such whale-moans on the at&t commercials the months before was enough to make my stomach churn. all i can hear is “remember when coldplay used to be good? remember when coldplay used to have a vision?” all is lost. all is the wasteland that you see when you pick up “viva la vida” from the cd shelves, and look on with disgust at the kitschy display of graffiti over classical art. you turn the cd over and read some of the song titles, and you think that it’s time to curl up into the fetal position, suck your thumb, and cry. falsely, chris martin and company think that they can shove whatever useless shit they can throw together at the last minute on the public, but they have gravely miscalculated the ever-showing number of us who actually take music seriously, actually yearn for bands to show some talent, some intelligence, some ingenuity. we will not be fooled. and we will not line the pockets of chris martin’s pants with our wages so that he might be able to hire a french nanny for dear apple (who the hell names their kid apple? or moses? who the hell does he think he is?). not on my time, not on my dime.


i only wish that someday we might band together and have as much influence as the nme and the q did in their hey-day. nothing gold can stay.


in these times of economic uncertainty, keep your fingers away from your cash and your plastic when you see the name “coldplay” plastered across something. i mean, unless you actually happen to like soft-core, corporate-generated, radiohead-lite crap.

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... whatever useless shit they can throw together at the last minute...?


... soft-core, corporate-generated, radiohead-lite crap...?


And the best part...


... the abysmal whinings of “viva la vida” have been cluttering up the music channels for the past month or so, and i could not even bring myself to watch the video in its entirety...


Since when did VLV have a video on the music channels?


If you see this review, run.


It’s not worth the 10 minutes of your precious time that you’ll spend on coldplaying.com. I mean, listen to VLVODAAHF - for god’s sake - chat with other fans about the music. Just don’t read this.

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this one’s optimistic


"more than a day in the life of an atypical 20 year-old college student who’s not afraid to talk about the crap that probably even you are afraid to admit."


Wow, I'm checking back every day :snore:



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#18 - Coldplay is Not Gay


Maybe this we readdress the balance of Coldplay power :P



So, I am here to reclaim Coldplay. When The 40 Year Old Virgin came out, there was a scene where Seth Rogan says to Paul Rudd, "You know how I know you're gay? You like Coldplay." At the time, there was an audible groan in the theater - all the guys liked Coldplay, but suddenly it was something "gay", less manly. Coldplay is still popular and sells tons of albums and all, but it is different now.


I think this is probably what happened to men and quiche back in the 80s. Suddenly, something was stigmatized as having a quality that was somehow emasculating, so it was to be shunned by men. Coldplay, well, it was the same way after that movie came out. We all kinda liked "Yellow", then we liked "In My Place", loved "Clocks" and then were moved by the video for "The Scientist". But we couldn't really mention it because of the stigma. We listened to Clocks when it was everywhere, but claimed that we liked it somehow ironically, like it was Barry Manilow, or Journey or something. It is hard to explain - Journey rocks and all, but there is something undeniably cheesy about it. I think that has happened to Coldplay, instead of just saying that there music is really good. (OK - I actually would love to make the same argument about Journey! They are awesome, and not in some camp, cheesy, ironic way! Shut up.)


The last album started off great - Speed of Sound is maybe my favorite song by them. It is quality stuff, even if they have started this genre of music where bands use things like cymbals, really high notes on the synthesizer, or strings in order to sound "big". But the rest of the album was lacking somewhat, except for Fix You. But the new album - I have only heard this new song about the revolutions and the kinds and Jerusalem bells ringing, but I love it, and I don't want to be ashamed anymore. (Seriously - the album cover is Delacroix's Liberty Leading the People. I knew that without having to look it up - I have 2 degrees on stuff like that. It is like they are actively trying to get me to like them at this point.) I was really feeling that I could come forward and not call them a guilty pleasure or anything, and just say that I like them with no repercussions.


Then I see this preview for Bones (love that show, btw), and they bring up the whole Coldplay is gay joke again! Seriously - I have gay friends, and Coldplay is not a large part of their culture. I would guess that similar percentages of gay and straight males are fans of the band. I know dude named his daughter Apple or something, but still. Coldplay is not gay. Guys - it is cool. You can listen to Coldplay, and people shouldn't question your sexuality. If you want to call us gay, do it because I call my sister after Friday Night Lights to discuss Tim Riggins, or because my best man has a guy crush on Justin Timberlake, or because one of my other groomsmen liked Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, not because we like Coldplay!

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a new shade of mascara? you mean there's more than black, brown & navy? and why would I want to spend the price of an album on mascara anyways??? thats one very expensive mascara


well there journalist for u....once they think they've hit the big time...they start spending on expencive things at expensive places like wal-mart:lol:

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Everyone thinks they're a bloody expert on everything, and eloquent as hell when they say so, thanks to the internet.:p


Whatever. He's entitled to his opinion, so I'm not angry about the blog, but there ARE intelligent fans who fully grasp AROBTTH who also happy to like many aspects of X&Y. Sure that divide exists, but I don't think the rift is as wide as this guy seems to think it is.


A great quote from the X Files sums this one up: Sure, fine, whatever...

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its always a good and better way not to mess with other people's thinking and opinions and bash them.


and i understand this writer though she's just another radiohead or some other band worshipper who wants to bash coldplay for their fame.


so i just fuck her!

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If you see this review, run.


It’s not worth the 10 minutes of your precious time that you’ll spend on coldplaying.com. I mean, listen to VLVODAAHF - for god’s sake - chat with other fans about the music. Just don’t read this.


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Stopped reading after: "i mean, get yourself a pizza - for god’s sake - buy yourself a new shade of mascara or a cheap tie"...


Stop reading at the same part :lol:. This girl just doesn't know what good music really is. Fuck off.

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