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||The OFFICIAL Coldplay FanFic Thread 1||


iPsy

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COLDPLAY- The Adventure Part 1

 

SYNOPSIS: This is going to be a big Fanfic, and this is part one!, Apple has gone missing and it is up to Chris and the gang to find her!

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At the Martin household, Gwyneth is making Veggie Drumsticks...

 

Chris: You know love, I told Ricky today that your making drumsticks, I love your drumsticks you know!

 

Gwyneth: Well arn't you nice, I'll just Fix You with some drumsticks at the Speed of Sound while I Talk to you! hahaha, arn't I funny?

 

Chris: Hilarious darling, just give me them!

 

Gwyneth puts four drumsticks on Chris's plate

 

Gwyneth: There you go, APPLE!

 

Apple walks in

 

Apple: Yes mummy

 

Gwyneth: Oh, I didn't meen you darling, I was asking you dad if he wanted an Apple...

 

Apple: If he wanted a me?

 

Gwyneth: No, to eat

 

Apple: But daddy wouldn't eat me, or would he?...Is this why he didn't write a song about me but wrote one about Moses!

 

Gwyneth: Just eat darling...MOSES!

 

Chris: I don't feel like singing now...

 

Gwyneth: No, I was meaning our son, I am calling him in for dinner!

 

Chris: Dinner? but I havn't written a song called Dinner!

 

Gwyneth: Just eat you drumsticks!

 

Moses walks in

 

Gwyneth: Well arn't you getting a big boy, ooh, is that a new tooth you have? Look Chris he has a new tooth

 

Chris walks over to Moses

 

Chris: That's amazing!

 

Gwyneth: Yep, he's got your teeth!

 

Chris: And he's got your good looks!

 

Chris and Gwyneth kiss, Apple stares at them in anger, and walks out, Chris and Gwyneth do not notice

 

Gwyneth: You need to improve your kissing darling!

 

Chris: What if I wrote a song about it, would that work?

 

Gwyneth: It could do, It could do

 

Meanwhile, outside the Martin household, Apple is walking down the street, alone, she starts talking to herself

 

Apple: Mummy and Daddy only care about Moses, Mummy's a rubbish actress and I don't even like daddy's songs!

 

A Cloaked figure aproaches Apple

 

Cloaked Figure: Hello, little girl

 

Apple: Hello, I am Apple, who are you?

 

Cloaked Figure: Apple?

 

Apple: Yes

 

Cloaked Figure: O..........K, Well, do you want to have some sweets?

 

Apple: Only if they don't have meat in!

 

Cloaked Figure: What are you gay?

 

Apple: No, I am a vegetarian

 

Cloaked Figure: Well yeah, sure, come in my car

 

Apple: OK

 

Apple jumps into the Cloaked Figure's car, The Cloaked Figure closes the car door behind her, jumps in the front and drives off

 

-----------------------------------

 

To be continued..

 

STRANGER DANGER! :lol:

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The Adventure Part 2

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At The Martin Household, Chris, Gwyneth and Moses are eating their drumsticks oblivious to the fact that their daughter has gone!

 

Chris: Hey Gwyn, pass me the tomato sauce!

 

Gwyneth: In America we call it Ketchup!

 

Chris: I Don't care, just give it to me!

 

Moses: Mummy am I American

 

At The Same Time, Gwyneth says: Yes and Chris says: No

 

Gwyneth: Yes she is, he is my son!

 

Chris: No she isn't, he is my son!

 

Moses: What am I then Daddy?

 

Chris: British

 

Gwyneth: No, sweetie, you are American

 

Chris: Can't he be both?

 

Gwyneth: I Don't swing that way!, Anyway, where is Apple?

 

Chris: Probabbly in her room, anyway, I've got a rehearsal with the guys, I'll catch you guys later!

 

Gwyneth: Goodbye my British hunk!

 

Chris: Bye!

 

Chris walks out the door

 

Moses: Mummy, what's a hunk?

 

Meanwhile the cloaked figure has taken Apple to a warehouse, on the front there is a sign which says 'The Bakery', The pair walk in, holding hands

 

Apple: Hey this is where my daddy works!

 

Cloaked Figure: No he doesn't!

 

Apple: Yes he does, he works at this place, it's called 'The Bakery'

 

Cloaked Figure: Ugh, this isn't 'The Bakery' it is, uh, 'The Butcher's'

 

Apple: Oh, Okay

 

(Muttering to himself) Cloaked Figure: Kids are so easy to trick, especially kids named after fruit!

 

Meanwhile Chris has arrived at Jonny's house to pick up Jonny, Will & Guy

 

Jonny: Hey Chris!

 

Chris: Hey Jonny!

 

Jonny: Hey Chris!

 

Chris: Is This going anywhere?

 

Jonny: Hey Chris!

 

Guy: He's got a new hearing aid!

 

Jonny: Hey Guy!

 

Guy: Just ignore him

 

Chris: I normally do anywhere, so, guys, do you wanna go out clubbing?

 

Will: Yeah, sure

 

Chris: Woah calm down Will...

 

Will: All I was saying is that I would love to come!

 

Chris (To Guy): I thought I told you to lock him up

 

Guy: Sorry Chris

 

Chris: Alright so let's go!

 

Chris, Jonny, Guy and Will: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

Back at The Martin household...

 

Gwyneth: Oh my god Moses, I can't believe that Ruth left The X Factor it should of been Eoigan!

 

Moses: Eoigan?

 

Gwyneth: Yeah!

 

Moses: Can I be called that?

 

Gwyneth: Okay, that is you new middle name!

 

Moses: Yeah!

 

Gwyneth: If you get a new name, Apple will need one aswell, hey, where is she?

 

Gwyneth runs up 12 flights of stairs upto Apple's room.

 

Gwyneth: APPLE! APPLE?....Where are you?

 

While Gwyneth is threating Chris, Jonny, Guy and Will are clubbing!

 

Will: This is fun isn't it guys?

 

Guy: Shut up Will!

 

Chris: WAIT! STOP!, My Gwynnie sense is tingling, I have to go!

 

Chris rushes out of the club, and jumps in his car and sets off towards his house!

--------------------------------------

 

To Be Continueed....

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The Adventure Part 2

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

At The Martin Household, Chris, Gwyneth and Moses are eating their drumsticks oblivious to the fact that their daughter has gone!

 

Chris: Hey Gwyn, pass me the tomato sauce!

 

Gwyneth: In America we call it Ketchup!

 

Chris: I Don't care, just give it to me!

 

Moses: Mummy am I American

 

At The Same Time, Gwyneth says: Yes and Chris says: No

 

Gwyneth: Yes she is, he is my son!

 

Chris: No she isn't, he is my son!

 

Moses: What am I then Daddy?

 

Chris: British

 

Gwyneth: No, sweetie, you are American

 

Chris: Can't he be both?

 

Gwyneth: I Don't swing that way!, Anyway, where is Apple?

 

Chris: Probabbly in her room, anyway, I've got a rehearsal with the guys, I'll catch you guys later!

 

Gwyneth: Goodbye my British hunk!

 

Chris: Bye!

 

Chris walks out the door

 

Moses: Mummy, what's a hunk?

 

Meanwhile the cloaked figure has taken Apple to a warehouse, on the front there is a sign which says 'The Bakery', The pair walk in, holding hands

 

Apple: Hey this is where my daddy works!

 

Cloaked Figure: No he doesn't!

 

Apple: Yes he does, he works at this place, it's called 'The Bakery'

 

Cloaked Figure: Ugh, this isn't 'The Bakery' it is, uh, 'The Butcher's'

 

Apple: Oh, Okay

 

(Muttering to himself) Cloaked Figure: Kids are so easy to trick, especially kids named after fruit!

 

Meanwhile Chris has arrived at Jonny's house to pick up Jonny, Will & Guy

 

Jonny: Hey Chris!

 

Chris: Hey Jonny!

 

Jonny: Hey Chris!

 

Chris: Is This going anywhere?

 

Jonny: Hey Chris!

 

Guy: He's got a new hearing aid!

 

Jonny: Hey Guy!

 

Guy: Just ignore him

 

Chris: I normally do anywhere, so, guys, do you wanna go out clubbing?

 

Will: Yeah, sure

 

Chris: Woah calm down Will...

 

Will: All I was saying is that I would love to come!

 

Chris (To Guy): I thought I told you to lock him up

 

Guy: Sorry Chris

 

Chris: Alright so let's go!

 

Chris, Jonny, Guy and Will: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

Back at The Martin household...

 

Gwyneth: Oh my god Moses, I can't believe that Ruth left The X Factor it should of been Eoigan!

 

Moses: Eoigan?

 

Gwyneth: Yeah!

 

Moses: Can I be called that?

 

Gwyneth: Okay, that is you new middle name!

 

Moses: Yeah!

 

Gwyneth: If you get a new name, Apple will need one aswell, hey, where is she?

 

Gwyneth runs up 12 flights of stairs upto Apple's room.

 

Gwyneth: APPLE! APPLE?....Where are you?

 

While Gwyneth is threating Chris, Jonny, Guy and Will are clubbing!

 

Will: This is fun isn't it guys?

 

Guy: Shut up Will!

 

Chris: WAIT! STOP!, My Gwynnie sense is tingling, I have to go!

 

Chris rushes out of the club, and jumps in his car and sets off towards his house!

--------------------------------------

 

To Be Continueed....

 

hehe i loved the last chris sentence here: My Gwynnie sense :laugh2:

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TO COMMERARATE MY 3000th Post! :dance:....Here is part 3 of The Adventure!

----------------------------------------------------

 

At the club, Guy Will and Jonny are left without Chris!

 

Guy: I wonder where Chris is...

 

Will: Oh, now you talk to me!

 

Guy: Quiet You!

 

Jonny: Hey you guy's, shut up!, we need to help Chris!

 

A Man approaches Jonny

 

Ross: Hello, I love a man who isn't afraid to get angry, I'm called Ross!

 

Jonny: Oh hello Ross!

 

Ross: So, do you want to get a drink, darling?

 

Guy (to Jonny): Hey Jonny, you do know that he is gay!

 

Will (to Jonny): And you do know that we have been in a gay bar for 30 minutes!

 

Jonny: I know!, Yes Ross, I would love a drink

 

Jonny follows Ross up to the bar...Meanwhile at 'The Butcher's', The Cloaked Figure is talking to Apple

 

Apple: So, what is your name?

 

Cloaked Figure: I don't have a name...

 

Apple: Everyone has a name!

 

Cloaked Figure: You call yours a name?

 

Apple: Ohhh...what is your favourite animal?

 

Cloaked Figure: A Black Panther

 

Apple: What's one of those?

 

Cloaked Figure: Uhh, you wouldn't like them, they eat Apple's!

 

Apple: Really, like my daddy!

 

Cloaked Figure: Who's you daddy?

 

Apple: He's called daddy

 

Cloaked Figure: *sigh* What's his real name

 

Apple: Daddy

 

Cloaked Figure: *sigh* Well what does he do for a job?

 

Apple: Daddy's in Coldplay!

 

Cloaked Figure: *gasp* Is he Will Champion?

 

Apple: No, he's Chris, well that's what my mummy calls him!

 

Cloaked Figure: Oh, um, okay...

 

Apple: Daddy sings

 

Cloaked Figure:...Badly!

 

Apple starts crying

 

Cloaked Figure: Look, I'm sorry, please don't cry!

 

Apple: I want to go home!

 

Cloaked Figure: Wait!, Is your mummy Gwyneth Paltrow?

 

Apple: Yep, that's right!

 

Cloaked Figure: Okay, you can come home if you bring your mum to me!

 

Apple: Okay!

 

Cloaked Figure: Great!, Now let me take you back and you bring your mum to me, okay?

 

Apple: Yes!

 

Cloaked Figure: Good girl, now let's go

 

The pair skip out of The Bakery and into the car. At the Martin household, Chris has just arrived!

 

Chris: Is everything alright?

 

Gwyneth: No, no, Apple has gone missing!

 

Chris: Not Apple....NOT APPLE!

 

Gwyneth: We need to find her!

 

Chris: Okay, come jump in the car with me and we'll go and get the guys to he;p!

 

The pair run out and jump into the car, leaving Moses on his own

 

At the gay bar, Jonny and Ross are getting ever closer...

 

Ross: You are great Jonny!, so you say you are the lead singer of a band called Hotplay!

 

Jonny: Yep!, It's great!

 

Ross: How about if you come back to mine for a glass of wine?

 

Jonny: A Glass of Water?

 

Ross: No, a glass of wine!

 

Jonny: Oh that's good too!

 

Ross and Jonny run out of the bar, holding hands, leaving Guy and Will on their own!

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^

 

:rolleyes: i don't think the Jonny fans will agree with that 3rd part of The Adventure. :rolleyes:

poor Moses has been left on his own... well now he can be the king star of the house, playing Guitar Hero. :cool:

 

 

 

:clap:

 

 

I'm glad you liked it, but never fear Jonny fans, He won't be like that for long ;) and Moses will be getting into more fun!

 

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oh goodness i've been reading Simon's story so far... and i've been laughing till my stomach hurts.

 

Late @ night, and laughter is drifting from my room... I think my parents think I've gone insane.

 

oh thank you very much!, I am glad you liked them!, I'm very rarely called funny! ;)

 

I really appreciate it ;) :kiss:

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THE ADVENTURE: Part 4!

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The Cloaked Figure and Apple arrive at The Martin household...

 

Cloaked Figure: So, is this your house?

 

Apple: Yep!

 

Cloaked Figure: It's very big...

 

Apple: Well my dad is a big pop star and my mum is a big movie star!

 

Cloaked Figure: Don't get snobby with me little girl, i know some stuff about your dad, some nasty, sordid stuff!

 

Apple: What does sordid mean?

 

Cloaked Figure: It means shut up and open the door!

 

Apple: Okay

 

Apple opens the door and the Cloaked Figure and Apple walk in

 

Back at the gay bar, Gwyneth and Chris have arrived...

 

Gwyneth: Why is this club called 'Ross's Gay Bar'? Is there something you need to tell me?

 

Chris: Uhh...Uhh, Will really wanted to go!

 

Gwyneth: I knew it!, I always thought he was gay, nothing like you and Jonny, you two are as straight as a straight line, hahaha!

 

Chris: Uhh...yes, now let's get in there

 

The pair run into the gay bar...., meanwhile Jonny and Ross have arrived at Ross's house, they are having a drink on the sofa!

 

Jonny: So, it's a nice house you have here

 

Ross: Well I own the bar don't I, I have the money!

 

Jonny: Oh, you own it do you?

 

Ross: Oh yes!

 

Jonny: So, are you gay?

 

Ross: Huh?

 

Jonny: Are you gay?

 

Ross: What?

 

Jonny: Are you queer?

 

Ross: Pardon?

 

Jonny: Are you homosexual?

 

Ross: Say again?

 

Jonny: Do you like dick?

 

Ross: Certainly not!, I'm not gay!

 

Jonny: What?

 

Ross: Are you?

 

Jonny: Uh, no, of couse not!

 

Ross: Oh good, so you don't mind coming into my bedroom?

 

Jonny: No way!, get lost, Chris is a million times better than you!

 

Jonny runs out of Ross's house crying

 

At the Martin household, The Cloaked Figure and Apple have arrived...

 

Cloaked Figure: So, where is Gwyneth?

 

Apple: Who?

 

Cloaked Figure: Your mummy?

 

Apple: I don't know, she might be up on the 20th floor or if she wants fun, on the 36th!

 

Cloaked Figure: Go and look for her!

 

Apple: Okay!

 

Apple starts running up the stairs, followed by the Cloaked Figure meanwhile on 44th floor, Moses is in his bedroom

 

Moses: What's that noise?...

 

Moses hears the Cloaked Figure shouting 'Gwyneth'

 

Moses: *gasp* He want's mummy, well he's not going to get her!

 

Moses picks up a piece of lead piping which happens to be in his room and waits behind his door, waiting for the Cloaked Figure to come...

 

Back at the Gay Bar, Chris and Gwyneth have met Guy and Will...

 

Chris: Hey Guy, Hey Will, how are you doing?

 

Guy: I'm fine, how are you Gwyneth?

 

Gwyneth: I'm fine thanks Guy!

 

Guy: You have the most beautiful eyes!

 

Gwyneth: Not now Guy!

 

Chris: Apple has gone missing, we have got to find her, where's Jonny by the way?

 

Will: He's met a guy and has gone back to his!

 

Chris: What!?

 

Will: Is that a problem?

 

Chris: Uhh, no of course it isn't, come on we need to find Jon-, I meen Apple!, let's go!

 

Guy: I'll stay here with Gwyneth!

 

Chris: Okay, come on Will!

 

Will and Chris run out towards Chris's car

 

Guy: So Gwyneth, do you want a drink?

 

Gwyneth: No, thank you!

 

Guy: Come on, have one!

 

Gwyneth: Fine but only one!

 

Guy walks towards the bar to get the drinks, while Gwyneth sneaks out of the bar...

 

Jonny is leaning on a bridge by a river, he's staring down at the water...

 

Jonny: This has made me realise how much I love Chris, *sigh*, what am I going to do?

 

Ross run's up to him...

 

Ross: There you are!, I was getting worried!

 

Jonny: Get lost!

 

Ross: Come on, give me a hug!

 

Jonny: No, because you don't mean it, I love Chris, I am GAY!

 

Ross: Get away from me you gay freak!

 

Jonny punches Ross and throws him into the river!

 

Jonny: Oh no, what have I done?

 

Jonny's phone vibrates, he's got a text from Chris...

 

Jonny: AHH!, A text from Chris, 'Jonny, Will has told me that you have met someone else but I still love you, come back to me, please'....Oh Chris, of course i will, okay, reply, oh no, I'm out of credit!....

 

Jonny cries again and starts running to the gay bar...leaving Ross in the water...

Back at the Martin household, Moses is waiting for the Cloaked Figure to come up to his floor!, he hears a noise and quickly opens the door!

 

Moses: Ahah!, you won't get mummy!

 

Moses hit's someone...it's Apple!

 

Moses: Oh no, Apple....

 

Cloaked Figure (Running up stairs): What was that Apple, I heard a voice...

 

The Cloaked Figure and Moses look at each other and both at the same time say:

 

Who are you?

-----------------------------------

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Haha, EPIC. Read all four parts back-to-back. Great stuff and gave me some worthy chuckles in parts. Looking forward to the rest.

 

Might give this a shot myself, even though it's been a while since I wrote ridiculous fan-fiction. Yes, ridiculous is my style, though I would likely be light on the Jonny jokes. Though I'll probably wait for THE ADVENTURE to end first.

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