The following were answers provided by 6th graders during a history

test.

 

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

 

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

 

3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

 

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

 

5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

 

6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

 

7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

 

8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.

 

9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen," As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

 

 

 

10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

 

11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

 

12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote paradise lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

 

 

13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

 

14. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show.

They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

 

15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

 

16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he

wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was

calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

 

17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits.

 

18. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered the radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.

 

 

This lot had me in tears :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: great!

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Esp. "He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday" & "Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet"

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: LMFAO!!!!!! OMG! That is the funniest thing ever! By #17 I thought I was going to throw up I was laughing so hard!

They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth

:lol:

Hi!

Wow!!!! :stunned:

 

As a teacher I am so worried!!!! :o

Of course it is so funny to read all of those things, but the issue here is what is going on in the educational field????

 

Another thing to be considered is how the questions were asked, but it is really funny to read all of those answers.

Ooooooh, my!!! That generation is gonna govern the world!!

Funny, anyways... :P

:stunned: :stunned: :stunned: :stunned: :stunned: :stunned: oh dear where have children gone.....!!!!!!!

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Don't worry about where the children have gone. I'm sure many ppl made answered like this too in the 60's and look where we are now...

 

...oh shit

wow....if this is the next generation.....oh my...

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.

Oscar Wilde

:lol: :lol: :lol: im actually crying with laughter!!!! :lol: :lol: :P

:lol: :lol: :lol: Those are hilarious!!!

ROTFLMFAO esp. @

 

He died before he ever reached Canada.

 

He wrote Donkey Hote

 

Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

 

and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands

 

Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

 

 

:lol: Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers? As a student of Sociology that's darn funny :lol:

 

 

this is hilarious

 

 

10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

 

 

 

:lol: :lol:

:lol:

Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil

and Ignorance must be bliss

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

:lol: Glad you liked it!!! I am still LMFAO and ROFL :lol: :lol: :lol:

off topic...DrP something else for your sig...

 

"Never be irreplacable at work, because then you will never be promoted" :)

:lol: