well sorry to disappoint you, but one dissatisfied reader is not going to stop me.

 

 

hahaha I was talking about my poem...... :shifty:

hahaha I was talking about my poem...... :shifty:

 

oh, sorry about that.

 

it was right after i posted mine...lol, my bad

any comments on mine?

oh, sorry about that.

 

it was right after i posted mine...lol, my bad

any comments on mine?

 

yeah no problem!:P

yeah no problem!:P

 

any thoughts on it? :P lol

okay, well here is my first one.

it's a couple of years old, and it's about re-finding a lost love.

 

A Full Circle

 

I never thought that two

Could feel the same as one

Every time I see you

It’s like the rising sun

 

You entice me with warmth

And a tingling of love

 

This feeling has been there

For time that has stood still

Without you, I am ill

Medicine to heal my wounds

 

I want something

That’s never been had before

And you give

Needing something

That’s never been given before

 

Things have been a full circle

Going back to the start

I’d hold you in my arms

If you’d give me your heart

 

A full circle of feelings

Re-invented beginnings

A full circle of feelings

Its my love that you’re stealing

 

any thoughts on it? :P lol

 

uhhh sure!!

It was good....it's not my favorite one but it was good. It has a nice rhyme to it (I'm not good at rhyming). I like how in the beginning you state that the two of you feel the same & now you are yearning for more & they are willing but they changed in the end. I thought the end was clean and straightforward :wink:

uhhh sure!!

It was good....it's not my favorite one but it was good. It has a nice rhyme to it (I'm not good at rhyming). I like how in the beginning you state that the two of you feel the same & now you are yearning for more & they are willing but they changed in the end. I thought the end was clean and straightforward :wink:

 

thanks

 

I know it won't be your favorite, but I have many.

a lot of them are little blurbs or words i just write with no meaning.

I'll post another one and tell me what you think! :D

 

okay, this was a random one, i don't think it's too good. but it shows two perspectives, somewhat

 

Discard

 

This is meant to break you

As I write this in tears

You saw what it might be

And threw it in the garbage

 

You never give me a reason

That’s good enough

So feel free

To just forget me

 

Discard my image

Discard my feelings

 

Nothing like this will ever matter

But I scream inside

All of this torture

Will never rid the love

That I will never discard

The love I feel for you

thanks

 

I know it won't be your favorite, but I have many.

a lot of them are little blurbs or words i just write with no meaning.

I'll post another one and tell me what you think! :D

 

hmmm m'kay :chinese:

Poems :dance:

any thoughts?

oh you already post it? sorry the site keeps not loading for me..boo!

haha that's alright. i edited my last quote to you and added it! :)

 

I'm thinking of posting one of my lyrics tomorrow when I wake up! :)

Raw...

Raw as in the poem?

yes..

oh, thank you. i tend not to put too many metaphors in my writing, but I have some.

there is this one religious one i have, along with two sonnets i did for a writing class, maybe i'll post those.

 

anyways, i'm off to bed, glad you are enjoying what i like to do! :) night all

LITTLE SIREN

 

Hey siren

Where have you been?

I've missed your cheering

And your summer skin

It's been so long

the guys are nice

my teddybears are fine.

 

And I

Whispered a word in the dark

We could meet tonight

 

My siren

we should meet and chat

and keep with our things

they were lots of fun

And the dancing

and singing to songs

that no one really wrote

 

And I

Whispered a word in the dark

We could meet tonight

 

Oh siren

i don't get you

why do you think

we shouldn't meet right after school

And you leave again?

I can do what you wish

i can act as a man

 

And I

Don't want to let this die

Some people grow up fast

 

 

 

 

Oh, wow. I really love this poem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and what kind of novel are you writing, w1ll1am7? :]

 

and what kind of novel are you writing, w1ll1am7? :]

 

It's a murder, mystery type of story

 

my main character's name is Henry Cooper and the title is untitled as of now.

it has a lot of history and action in it as well!

Oh, that's cool! I love murder mysteries. Good luck with your story. :)

 

Right now I'm trying to finish up this story about these two cops in the 60s, but I started writing this story about a boxer and I'm hoping I can get back to writing that soon.

 

 

 

 

and to stay more on topic, here's a poem I wrote a while back that I really liked. well, like enough to use in one of my drawings. ahaha!

 

 

 

"Reasons Why I Shouldn't Write Poetry"

 

 

i.

Frozen lakes battle across lands to heated rivers in the south.

Cars run on pollution made by flowers and the sun,

and rush by in rainbow-colored blurs. Over hills and mountaintops,

on highways and you never stop but, boy, does she breath.

Inhale deep and she says this is life’s ultimatum. Open your mouth

wide and remind yourself this is what you wanted to see.

 

 

ii.

So much better with your eyes rolled back and your head relaxed.

Perfume and oil are key factors of everything you need to know,

and not of anything that’s of sense and relevance

is what she informed, with smiles and gazes that cannot be liars.

Gas stations are honestly honest, don’t you know?

 

 

iii.

Engines roared before, but just one howled with the coyotes

while running with a pack of snow covered wolves.

In cities, you’ve been in elevators, and in the country, caves

but it’s when breeze from oceans and highways and flapping butterflies

hit against pale skin, panic and the emotion of trapped set in.

Through the window you see a snake, hissing with a grin.

Or a mountain lion or a deer or a raccoon or even a hundred-year-old tree.

 

 

iv.

Hurricanes travel across vast waters for dry-land tornadoes.

Hands reach out and thousands scream and pray for a better dream,

and maybe someday. On the top of cliffs that never have a bottom,

but rather a river and a tall-tell story and history and rocks and no one

can hear her sneeze but you. Coughing and she says this is it.

Her name is Deception so you know you can trust her. Open your eyes

wide and remind yourself this is what you wanted in life.

Oh, that's cool! I love murder mysteries. Good luck with your story. :)

 

Right now I'm trying to finish up this story about these two cops in the 60s, but I started writing this story about a boxer and I'm hoping I can get back to writing that soon.

 

 

 

 

and to stay more on topic, here's a poem I wrote a while back that I really liked. well, like enough to use in one of my drawings. ahaha!

 

 

 

"Reasons Why I Shouldn't Write Poetry"

 

 

i.

Frozen lakes battle across lands to heated rivers in the south.

Cars run on pollution made by flowers and the sun,

and rush by in rainbow-colored blurs. Over hills and mountaintops,

on highways and you never stop but, boy, does she breath.

Inhale deep and she says this is life’s ultimatum. Open your mouth

wide and remind yourself this is what you wanted to see.

 

 

ii.

So much better with your eyes rolled back and your head relaxed.

Perfume and oil are key factors of everything you need to know,

and not of anything that’s of sense and relevance

is what she informed, with smiles and gazes that cannot be liars.

Gas stations are honestly honest, don’t you know?

 

 

iii.

Engines roared before, but just one howled with the coyotes

while running with a pack of snow covered wolves.

In cities, you’ve been in elevators, and in the country, caves

but it’s when breeze from oceans and highways and flapping butterflies

hit against pale skin, panic and the emotion of trapped set in.

Through the window you see a snake, hissing with a grin.

Or a mountain lion or a deer or a raccoon or even a hundred-year-old tree.

 

 

iv.

Hurricanes travel across vast waters for dry-land tornadoes.

Hands reach out and thousands scream and pray for a better dream,

and maybe someday. On the top of cliffs that never have a bottom,

but rather a river and a tall-tell story and history and rocks and no one

can hear her sneeze but you. Coughing and she says this is it.

Her name is Deception so you know you can trust her. Open your eyes

wide and remind yourself this is what you wanted in life.

 

very descriptive. i do like that. and good luck with your book! i like the 60's cop idea! :)

Thank you!

no worries, can you give me more insight on that story?

I have two poems. The other day I wrote this:

 

Landscape

 

For the first time

I can say, "Open up my head"

and feel safe

You will lift the thoughts

Like wet clay in your hands

To put it in front of you

On your table

The clay-matter

You gently massage

My mind into a cup, or a carton

An almost formless, wet mass

With your picture under

"Missing persons"

You could take a drink

and I will surely melt back

Then you'd reform the mold

Into various objects and animals

I want to be your landscape

Open my head a little more

To make the trees, the bushes, the vines

Take my breath like a pool of water

To place in the middle of this

Landscape of memories

Mold me like your toy

I don't mind, the deeper

You reach through my mind

But if you leave it

-You leave me formless

Like god's pre-earth,

Change me into a landscape

With no more people but you

 

This one is very simple and depressing... i'm feeling simple with my words... and depressed...

Fall

 

Until Reality Dawns

My Eyes tell me it's okay

My Spirit and Body are at war

At Night the Latter is dead,

The Latter is dead.

A neat Facade takes control

A neat Facade, my soul

A neat Facade makes me 'Nemo'.

A Rising Sun is this deep Depression

My 'Blue Period', not yet turned

-Red.

 

The Light of Dark

The Dark of Light

Led to an eternal Night

Those have led me.

 

Now I confess,

I became obsessed

Without your discretion

-You do not love me.

 

Words, like spoken air

-Waste

Visions I have of you

They are not true

Visions have led me

To Midday Night.

dark and deep, i liked those! :)

thx man...

Eric, you are a poet of epic proportions :kiss:

 

i might edit one of my poems and put it here :D