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The "things I wish I could say" thread


strawberryfields

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this hatred runs deep. now it's about what you've done to me. what you have taken from me. i would do it again. fuck what you've made me before. i would do everything all over again and i wouldn't feel a damn thing.

 

and i know i'm better than you. i don't want help. i won't take it. i won't drain people of everything because i can't handle my own shit. fuck that. if you were as strong as you say you are, you wouldn't do it. at least i know i'm fucking weak. i don't pretend to be amazing. i don't pretend i'm perfect. i never even had the opportunity to play perfect. you took your privilege and looks and decided it wasn't enough for you. you still make up reasons to be unhappy, and that's pretty fucking shitty, considering you have had everything in life handed to you.

 

if you knew half the shit i've been through, you would have thought twice before saying anything. if you knew anything about me, you would understand everything i did and everything i'm still dealing with that you have forgotten. how long is it going to be before i'm done with you? you threw out everything that wasn't good enough for you. you have such a beautiful story of mission work and becoming a doctor to help other people when really it's just what is expected of you.

 

think about what you did that you don't even feel anything for. you ended a couple's four-year relationship, stripped a girl from someone who was supposed to comfort her after she miscarried (though he's no better than you), and left her in your dust. now remember what i did. oh, yeah--next to nothing. you actually denied you did anything wrong. at least i admitted i did anything halfway shitty.

 

you are hypocritical and vile. you have taken my friends away from me, offering weak solace rather than strength. the world is not kind to the weak, and now, my friends that you have infected with your stupid fucking false fragility are going to fall apart. you are a devil. you are so convincing, aren't you? you cried enough that people who never even fucking met me messaged me telling me that i deserve to die, that i'm a slut...and i didn't tell anyone, though i stood to gain...i could have had everything back, but i'll be damned if i'm going to stoop to your level and dirty my hands in your filth. cutting isn't cute, depression isn't cute, suicide isn't cute, and child abuse isn't fucking cute, either. none of those things apply to your life. stop using problems people actually have to get attention.

 

i wish everyone knew the real you. who would love you then?

 

i can't be meek right now. i can't love anymore. i've been trying and i've been okay. but i won't apologize for this. i'm not leaving until i hear a sincere apology, more than a few words, and i'm not giving up until you've apologized to laura for being what your friends would call "a dirty skank." i know because, apparently, i am one.

 

oh, and stop acting like you knew my best friend. stop acting like you gave a fuck. stop acting like you even matter. stop involving yourself in our fucking tragedy. all you do is use it for attention and it's disgusting. you watched me fall apart in front of my friend's fucking casket and you have the nerve to suggest that we didn't care. fuck you. fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. you didn't even belong there. you're disgusting.

 

i'm still trying every single day, which is more than i can say for you. right now, it appears i have relapsed into everything you like to think i am. and that's okay by me, because, honestly, i'd like to rip your limbs from your body, if you don't mind.

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^^There ya go, perfect!:lol:

 

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When did you change so much? When did this become all about you?? When did the Earth start revolving around you? Well, at least it makes sense since the sun apparently shines out your ass!Not that anyone can see it with your head up there blocking it!

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You annoy me so much now, it's hard to imagine that we ever got along in the first place. Everything you did wrong, you justified. You think you did nothing wrong at all. And me, well, you constantly told me that EVERYTHING I did was wrong. That's no kind of friendship, and I'm better off now that we are not friends anymore. I'm to the point now with you where I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire in the desert. And I'm willing to bet you feel the exact same way about me.

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this hatred runs deep. now it's about what you've done to me. what you have taken from me. i would do it again. fuck what you've made me before. i would do everything all over again and i wouldn't feel a damn thing.

 

and i know i'm better than you. i don't want help. i won't take it. i won't drain people of everything because i can't handle my own shit. fuck that. if you were as strong as you say you are, you wouldn't do it. at least i know i'm fucking weak. i don't pretend to be amazing. i don't pretend i'm perfect. i never even had the opportunity to play perfect. you took your privilege and looks and decided it wasn't enough for you. you still make up reasons to be unhappy, and that's pretty fucking shitty, considering you have had everything in life handed to you.

 

if you knew half the shit i've been through, you would have thought twice before saying anything. if you knew anything about me, you would understand everything i did and everything i'm still dealing with that you have forgotten. how long is it going to be before i'm done with you? you threw out everything that wasn't good enough for you. you have such a beautiful story of mission work and becoming a doctor to help other people when really it's just what is expected of you.

 

think about what you did that you don't even feel anything for. you ended a couple's four-year relationship, stripped a girl from someone who was supposed to comfort her after she miscarried (though he's no better than you), and left her in your dust. now remember what i did. oh, yeah--next to nothing. you actually denied you did anything wrong. at least i admitted i did anything halfway shitty.

 

you are hypocritical and vile. you have taken my friends away from me, offering weak solace rather than strength. the world is not kind to the weak, and now, my friends that you have infected with your stupid fucking false fragility are going to fall apart. you are a devil. you are so convincing, aren't you? you cried enough that people who never even fucking met me messaged me telling me that i deserve to die, that i'm a slut...and i didn't tell anyone, though i stood to gain...i could have had everything back, but i'll be damned if i'm going to stoop to your level and dirty my hands in your filth. cutting isn't cute, depression isn't cute, suicide isn't cute, and child abuse isn't fucking cute, either. none of those things apply to your life. stop using problems people actually have to get attention.

 

i wish everyone knew the real you. who would love you then?

 

i can't be meek right now. i can't love anymore. i've been trying and i've been okay. but i won't apologize for this. i'm not leaving until i hear a sincere apology, more than a few words, and i'm not giving up until you've apologized to laura for being what your friends would call "a dirty skank." i know because, apparently, i am one.

 

oh, and stop acting like you knew my best friend. stop acting like you gave a fuck. stop acting like you even matter. stop involving yourself in our fucking tragedy. all you do is use it for attention and it's disgusting. you watched me fall apart in front of my friend's fucking casket and you have the nerve to suggest that we didn't care. fuck you. fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. you didn't even belong there. you're disgusting.

 

i'm still trying every single day, which is more than i can say for you. right now, it appears i have relapsed into everything you like to think i am. and that's okay by me, because, honestly, i'd like to rip your limbs from your body, if you don't mind.

 

I read every word, please don't let yourself be ruined by someone else.

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