Kiame Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Male. Female. Homosexual. Heterosexual. Transsexual. Bisexual. Dog. Cat. These are just labels people. Just labels. Labels that only serve to restrict our passion, our creativity and our inspiration. It's time to drop these labels, and speak today about something that matters. We gather here today to admire, nay, worship a specimen. But not just any specimen, a prize specimen. More specifically, the arms of a prize specimen. When I first became a fan of Coldplay, the lead singer - Mr Chris Martin - was a skinny little dweeb. A loser. An outcast. He sung about feelings, he sung about things that matter and he composed songs that were deep and meaningful. What a little tosser. Take a look at that skinny little idiot. Notice the lack of bulk in his arms. Not only was his body image totally lame but so where his lyrics. "Look at the earth from outer space Everyone must find a place Give me time and give me space Give me real don't give me fake Give me strength, reserve control Give me heart and give me soul Give me time, give us a kiss Tell me your own politik And open up your eyes" Seriously? Hah. What knobhead would ever think of that? Feelings are for girls, and that's exactly what Chris Martin was acting like. A stupid little girl. Thank fully for all of us, he met a film star. But not just any film star, a smoking hot blone babe called Gwyneth. (Ok, I'll be honest - the name is a huge turn off.) It was then Chris discovered something amazing. The more and more he banged Gwyneth, the cooler and cooler he got. He started to attack photographers! YEAAAHH!! He started to call his children random objects throughout the house. YEAAAAHH!!! He started to write BETTER LYRICS!!! No more was he being weak and singing about things that made people think, he started to write like a true genius! "Life goes on, it gets so heavy!" "Para, para, para, para, para" "waawawawawwa" "oohohooooo" "SHE FLY AWAY AT NIGHT" "Puzzles have pieces in them" "Every salmon is a tasty, nutritious way to enjoy lunch time" "Every mylo is a xylophone". YEAAAAHH!!! But perhaps most importantly of all, he developed the sexiest arms known to man. Arms that are so strong they could crush a walrus. Arms that are so toned they could tune a piano. Arms that we have gathered here today to discuss. And let this be a message to all of us. Whether we are Male, female, homosexual, heterosexual, transsexual, bisexual, dogs or cats we must all strive to be exactly like Chris Martin. The Chris Martin of today. Not the loser of the past. So go, Chris Martin and let your dreams soar as high as the stars. Let your arms continue to turn everyone on. And keep on smashing that blonde girl, you big fucken hero! Fly away! P.S: What are the other band members called? The bassist is pretty fly but the other two look homeless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldplayisawesome Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 to be fair, even the skinny little idiot Chris Martin came up with "oohohooooo" :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
an angel Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 How were you able to take your eyes off of Chris Martin long enough to even notice that there were other band members? :dazzled: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lore Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 That post needs more shirtless Chrissy :nod: :dazzled: :heart: :awesome: :wacky: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudy_o Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 That post needs more shirtless Chrissy :nod: :dazzled: :heart: :awesome: :wacky: I thought you are no longer a Chris fan :snobby: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiame Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 That post needs more shirtless Chrissy :nod: :dazzled: :heart: :awesome: :wacky: Your wish is my comand! FUCK YEAH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lore Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Your wish is my comand! FUCK YEAH! OMG THAT PIC IS SO GOOD I'M SURE MYLO XYLOTO WILL BE EPIC! WHAT COULD GO WRONG IF HE LOOKS THAT GOOD? :dazzled: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiame Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 OMG THAT PIC IS SO GOOD I'M SURE MYLO XYLOTO WILL BE EPIC! WHAT COULD GO WRONG IF HE LOOKS THAT GOOD? :dazzled: Let's just thank God he isn't a stupid little pansy anymore! GOOO MYLOOO GOO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainplay Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 :laugh3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
l0wxo2 Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Greatest post ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lore Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Let's just thank God he isn't a stupid little pansy anymore! GOOO MYLOOO GOO! Well, if he gets fat or bald they can always replace him with a hotter/younger guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Osaka Sun Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I feel really weird here being a straight guy. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiame Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 I feel really weird here being a straight guy. :confused: All you're doing is labeling yourself. Give in to the dong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor!42! Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I feel really weird here being a straight guy. :confused: :laugh3: One of funniest threads ever :laugh3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebeo Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 :laugh3: Epic thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueDeNimes Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 :uhoh: :laugh4: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobalt Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 But I don't want to feel guilty for thinking the younger one is cuter! :bigcry: WE CAN JUST BE FANGIRLS OF CHRIS FROM DIFFERING ERAS KAY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiame Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 But I don't want to feel guilty for thinking the younger one is cuter! :bigcry: WE CAN JUST BE FANGIRLS OF CHRIS FROM DIFFERING ERAS KAY The young one is a chump, you gotta get fly and you gotta get with the guy who bangs hollywood stars and has big arms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destrokk Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 :blank: fuck you guys noOO :dazzled: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Ummmmm I just saw the pictures and was already a lil' bit creeped out. Should I actual continue to read the first post? :uhoh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Give in to the dong. *leaves thread* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destrokk Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 His arm jiggling disturbs me a bit. I'm not calling him fat or anything but he's just getting old, I'm not some person who likes OLD PEOPLE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
86Timewarp Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 :laugh3: LMFAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoversRunnersSoldiers Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 EPIC thread! Literally cannot stop laughing :laugh3: :laugh3: "SHE FLY AWAY AT NIGHT" This almost made me spit out my water I was drinking! Dunno why it was so funny... Might be the capitals..or the incorrect grammar..or the combination of both. Either way :laugh3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColdplayingfromKansas Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 *leaves thread* Your smilie made me gigglesnort With chocolate in my mouth :blank: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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