January 18, 2013 - submitted by Dani, United Kingdom

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #103

I'm finding the dating scene difficult. I joined an online dating site and have been on a few dates and I don't know what the etiquette is. If I don't like a guy, I don't know how to leave it when saying goodbye. That said, when I DO like a guy I don't know what to say either in case they don't feel the same! I met someone and we had a brilliant time but I haven't heard from him at all since. I sent one text and he didn't reply. I think that's rude but then... maybe he is also not knowing how to politely say he doesn't want to see me again. Help?!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Tricky. Some say there should be a 3 day rule. It looks like you're too keen if you contact someone sooner than that. I say, if you like someone, who cares?

If you like a guy, at the end of the date, say something like "I had a really great time, hopefully we can meet up again".

I'm not going to go into mind games but with dating I feel it's important to act with some decorum and not pester. If someone wants to see you, they will make time to so if they're giving you excuses or not replying to texts it probably means they're not interested.

The first and most important thing about to remember about dating is to be yourself; don't try to be someone you think they may like.

Also, if you then stick to being yourself, maybe you should say just respond however feels right for you.

Some people are happy to think that silence speaks volumes but obviously you're not one of them. You're not obviously going to like every single person you date (or they you) and letting them down gently is definitely a more respectful response. If you got on well but there was no spark, maybe you could say that you'd like to see them again as friends but don't feel it would lead to anything romantic - then they can decide whether that's good for them.

If you just don't want to see someone again, politely say "it was nice to meet you" when you leave, perhaps that might speak volumes.

If not, I'm not a fan of making excuses and fobbing folk off so either be direct and honest but if you can't face that, tell them you'll be in touch and contact them via the site or text/email with a tactful brush off.

Try not to take it personally if a guy doesn't reply and you never see him again even after a great date. He's obviously not the man for you. Next!

 

I think you know when you know - if that makes sense.

Over to you.

 

Dating is a very tricky thing for most of us. I think if you don't like a guy, simply thank him for the evening and don't respond to any of his further attempts to contact you. You don't owe him anything, nothing else is necessary. When a guy doesn't respond to your text, or doesn't text/call you after three days, delete his number and move on. If he was into you, he would have communicated. But most of us would rather not admit we don't like someone, for fear of hurting their feelings. So the general rule is, take silence as someone not being into you. If you like a guy, then reach out to him soon after the date, if he hasn't contacted you already. Don't text him too much. If he likes you, you shouldn't have to work very hard to get him to talk to you. Don't let people lead you on, and don't let guys allow you to do all the work - planning dates, initiating communication, all that stuff. You are more valuable than that. If a guy likes you, for real, he will make himself available to you and probably even pester you to hang out with him all the time. I hope this helped. Love, Amber.

 

Internet is an open house of coming and going and things to be left there for a long time. It is a help for those who are shy, but it is also an attraction pole for the dishonest ones and it can be a trap for the overcredulous.

For saying goodbye you could begin friendly, you think he is a nice guy, but you are sorry, you don’t seem to have a great deal in common or you both are too different. You are anonymous, so what should you be afraid of? To draw someone’s interest tell him why you are interested, be responsive to him.

The other thing, someone doesn’t answer and you never will know the reasons. I just can tell you not to give your heart to someone unreachable or something that you have created in your mind because of a few written lines. Watch the time you are spending with your computer, during the same time you could meet a boy from “next-door” and you would know much more about him. For meeting a chatting friend for the first time in reality take part on the decision where and when, and never go there completely alone. All the best! L.Q.

 

I believe the best etiquette is to be friendly and open minded with your date. And of course, be yourself! If you don't like a guy, tell him when the date is over. Explain you enjoyed the date, but that you are looking for something else. It's as simple as that. When you do like a guy, tell him you had a brilliant time and ask him about going out again. This lets him know straight away that you are interested, and you can make plans together face to face. This way, you can avoid the frustration of texting. If this guy doesn't text back, try calling him. You have nothing to lose by doing this, and everything to gain! In addition, there can be a number of reasons of why he isn't responding via text. You may discover he wasn't responding because he really likes you and remained quiet to keep from saying anything foolish. Some guys are shy like this, so give him a chance! Best of luck, Blake.

 

It's a minefield! There seem to be so many dos and don'ts. I can see why it's hard to tell someone you don't want to meet again if they do and to be ignored when you like someone who doesn't feel the same but... don't let your pride get in the way. Try not to be disappointed. See it as practice. At least you're out there and that's great. Your confidence may take a dip at times but it's better than sitting home alone. Congratulate yourself for dating and keep trying 'til you find your Prince! Sally, Ireland.

 

I suppose it depends what you're looking for - love, a long term relationship, a fling, company, someone to go out with... If you're looking for "the one", don't worry, it won't be with a guy who doesn't reply to your texts so you can cross him off your list. I think that the best way to take this is at face value. All you need to do is respect the response - or lack of - of another and move on. It doesn't really matter who does what or why / how they do it, it's your reaction to it and your feelings that count. Do what feels right and don't worry too much if it's outside your comfort zone. It's not unusual in the online dating world to have loads of contact from someone one week and nothing the next. Don't take it to heart. Keep trying and I'm sure you'll find what works best for you. Dee.

 

Thanks for your responses. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's question, and send us your answer.

January 21, 2013 - submitted by Nya, United States of America

 

Q. I was wondering how long this site has been around because I see that the dates on the Timeline notes are labeled, and I wanted to know if the band goes back and writes in the date or if the band had already written the notes on that date.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Coldplay.com has been around for many, many years (we had a different url originally) but the Timeline isn't indicative of when the website started.

The Timeline has been active just over 5 years in this format but yes, we have gone back into it to add things retrospectively.

January 21, 2013 - submitted by Emil, Norway

 

Q. What happens to the instruments that Coldplay uses after the concerts? Are they using the same over again?

 

And on previous tours, what happens to the bass, guitar and the drums when it's over? Example, what has happened to the instruments that they used in Tokyo from 2009?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Apart from the instruments they auctioned during the

, it depends. They do still use some of the same instruments in the studio / on tour but they have also acquired newer ones over the past 15 years. Jonny has guitars that he favours - one he sold in that auction he was pretty reluctant to let go of as one can get quite attached to instruments. His absolute favourite he's had over ten years and has played it on most of the albums and tours since A Rush of Blood to the Head.

Apart from the instruments they auctioned during the

...

Oh goodness I can't believe that was 3 years ago already! :bomb:

Oh goodness I can't believe that was 3 years ago already! :bomb:

 

 

 

I was just watching the promo on Youtube last night! Will is so funny in it and Chris looks like he's going to burst out laughing!

I remember watching that when I was a new Coldplayer, time flies :bomb:

January 22, 2013 - submitted by Caitlin, United States of America

 

Q. Hey over there in the UK!

I'm a senior in high school and a member of National Honors Society. I am creating a video speaking out against drugs and alcohol through a video of testimonies answering what dreams drugs and alcohol could prevent from coming true. Could I possibly get your permission to use one of my favorite Coldplay songs Fix You as the music for my video? Thank you!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

This is one of the most popular questions I get asked. It's tricky because obviously many people want to use Coldplay's music for school projects, personal reasons or worthy causes and aren't showing it for any monetary value whatsoever but signed bands / songwriters do not own copyright to their songs so cannot grant permission.


You will have to contact EMI Records and Universal Publishing.


January 22, 2013 - submitted by AlexLines, United Kingdom

 

Q. Hey Oracle,

 

A while back I bought over 50 Viva chair headrests supposedly from the private Viva La Vida jet/plane. I was wondering whether you have any recollection of Viva headrests on the seats because it would be fun to find out if it was possible the boys really had napped against them?

Many thanks.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I'm assuming you mean the single use disposable covers for headrests, rather than actual headrests. I don't recall seeing any Viva ones despite quite a bit of travelling with the band during that period. I do have one from the X&Y tour. It's made from a flimsy material and was attached by velcro.

The ones you bought will be unused and therefore I'm afraid the band will not have napped on them.

Sara Garvey and Hamlet Luton are known as Phoenix Pearle and they probably rewrote (part of) the song. But I can't find anything when I search for Phoenix Pearle and Call Me :confused:

 

I did a little search on this and Phoenix Pearle never signed to EMI (I think. There's little information on them on the internet. Perhaps that also shows that they aren't on EMI).

 

They both have several bands actually. So we just have to figure out which one :P

January 23, 2013 - submitted by Dasha,

 

Q. Hi Oracle!!!

I found on Google map Chris' house (link removed) and saw a man with a child (link removed).

Maybe this is Chris and Moses?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I have removed the links you provided. IF that was Chris' house it wouldn't be appropriate for me to publish it given the actual address was visible in the toolbar. However, I will answer you.

I know that street very well as it's quite close to where I used to live but it is not where Chris lives.

I can see why you think that photo is Chris as it does look like him but I'd very much doubt it.

January 23, 2013 - submitted by Brisa,

 

Q. Hey!! What are the guys doing now? Are they resting?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Sort of though I don't think Chris EVER rests!

January 23, 2013 - submitted by Sebastien, South Africa

 

Q. Oracle I was wondering what the book on the shelf titled "Coldplay" in

was?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

When I saw what this clip was, I muted it right away because would you believe I have NEVER even heard the original...

Anyway, I recognize the book to be Coldplay Complete Chord Songbook.

January 23, 2013 - submitted by Dasha,[/color][/b]

 

Q. Hi Oracle!!!

I found on Google map Chris' house (link removed) and saw a man with a child (link removed).

Maybe this is Chris and Moses?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I have removed the links you provided. IF that was Chris' house it wouldn't be appropriate for me to publish it given the actual address was visible in the toolbar. However, I will answer you.

I know that street very well as it's quite close to where I used to live but it is not where Chris lives.

I can see why you think that photo is Chris as it does look like him but I'd very much doubt it.

 

hahah I noticed it weeks ago :uhoh: that man&child look like Chris and Moses, but Moses is taller than that kid :nod: :lol:

January 23, 2013 - submitted by Brisa,[/color][/b]

 

Q. Hey!! What are the guys doing now? Are they resting?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Sort of though I don't think Chris EVER rests!

 

:lol::lol:

January 24, 2013 - submitted by Mark,

 

Q. Hey Oracle, I was wondering how does the band know which song they wrote will be successful amongst all others. I mean, do they consider certain tastes or points of view before deciding?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I wouldn't use the word successful but personally having worked in the music industry for over 15 years, I can say you do get a feel for what will make a single and what will sound good on the radio. You can also tell (especially when you know a band really well) what will work live.

Hearing Charlie Brown for the first time in the studio, myself, Roadie #42 and Anchorman all commented how we could already visualize the crowd jumping up and down.

Band, manager and record label have the same instincts to trust which songs will work and do ask for opinion but ultimately the album is down to the band to decide which tracks are in/out and whether they "fit".

January 24, 2013 - submitted by Paula,

 

Q. Hi Oracle!

A few months ago I downloaded from coldplay.com a folder with icons an images, it was called Coldplay Tour. Moreover in this folder there was a PDF archive with the lyrics from Mylo Xyloto songs, I would like to know who wrote the lyrics. Maybe Chris?

Kisses.

PS: Please answer me

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

All the lyrics you see within that folder are handwritten by Chris.

January 25, 2013 - submitted by The Oracle,

 

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

When I answer questions of a personal nature, Coldplay.com readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. So, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 31st January.

 

My boyfriend just recently told me that him and some of his guy friends spent the weekend drinking and smoking. I was so disappointed in him - he's underage and I thought he was above those sort of things. And when I got mad, he had to remind me that "most of the other guys aren't even gonna tell their girlfriends" as if him telling me the truth makes it better. He also told me that he's been stressed and it was the one thing that took it away. I'm so upset, angry, and worried. What do I do? Bri, USA.

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Please email your replies to [email protected]

January 25, 2013 - submitted by Elise,

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #104

I'm young and have been dating the same guy for almost two years (which is a long time when you're young as you know). We've been so close but lately I've been thinking about things, things that for so long I have overlooked - his obscene and inappropriate jokes, his moodiness, his anger which he directs towards me. I've always been a comfort to him, as he has to me (he can be very sweet and romantic) but I'm tired of his inability to be a true gentleman through and through. I know you should stick with someone and accept them as a whole, but he can be more of a jerk than the sweet guy I once knew, and I don't ever want to settle for someone who's only good for me half the time. How could I have overlooked this for so long? And how can I change things? Can things be fixed?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Who said you should stick with someone? I agree to some extent that you have to accept people as they are but that doesn't mean you have to associate with them. You can choose to accept them but walk away - that's also an option, one I exercise myself.

It may be you have grown up more than him in the past 2 years or maybe you've just grown out of him. Either way, YOU can't change things because it's your boyfriend's behaviour - only he can change that. You could try talking to him if you think that will help the situation but I'm not sure he can change overnight. Perhaps he's just showing off to his friends and hasn't really realized what a jerk he is being. It's up to you whether you stay in case he changes or move on now in case he doesn't.

When you like or love someone a lot (friendship, family or relationship), it's easy to overlook things or you may just put up with them but you don't have to now you're aware. Don't feel foolish as most of us do it. I have light bulb moments sometimes when I realize that it's better to distance myself from things that make me feel uncomfortable. It's sometimes liberating to break habits which is almost what this situation seems to have become for you. It can also be quite emotional which is understandable given the history you have.

One of the final things you said sums it up for me and everyone would do well to have it as their mantra: "I don't ever want to settle for someone who's only good for me half the time".

And why should you? You need to do what feels right for you.

Over to you.

 

I find advising others on matters of the heart & love to be so tricky! But, i figured I could share a little from my own experience, so,… when we are young love can be wonderful & exhilarating & seemingly perfect, but, people change, we all do, & how we feel & see life when we are under the age of 20 can be very different to how we see & value life as we get older! Growing away from a relationship/love is difficult, & even when you know it’s the right thing to do, it still can cause us heartbreak!(!?!) On the other hand, your boyfriend might just be going through his own changes, so have you spoken to him about how you feel? My advice: be open & honest with him, & besides, you never know how that conversation might turn out! Growing & changing is good Elise - I kinda think it’s how we stretch for/reach for our dreams & future! & Lastly, one thing I am really beginning to place importance on in my own life is value - learning to value myself, my dreams & goals, as well as recognising/placing value on others. So, my advice is to be honest with your boyfriend, and with yourself, your dreams, & your future. all the best, Cali.

 

In my opinion he can be fixed, but the relation between you is hard to be fixed bcz the relation is like a drawing and when it gets ugly you can't do anything about it. The only way to fix it is when you strictly cut everything what connects you for not less than a year and then if you still care about each other you will meet but you have to be careful bcz the relation can curve very easily because of the memories & bad habits and thus you will find yourself in the same old situation but in a different time. The best thing to do keep walking & don't give this relation so much time and priority in ur head.

Good luck. Georges.

 

As my longest "relationship" lasted no longer than 3 months, I usually don't feel entitled to answer the Team Oracle questions about love. However, there is something about your story that is totally familiar to me. That is, the feeling of being close to someone who has an evil as well as an angelical side. It took me a long time to acknowledge the fact that my "best friend" used to bring me down most of the time due to her malicious comments towards me. I believe that a person who loves you should never ever treat you badly. OK, sometimes a couple may have disagreements and you could even argue and have a little "fight" but, above it all, you deserve respect and tenderness. Elise, I think that in order to respect yourself, you have to show other people how valuable you are. Do not let other people "look down on you" or treat you disrespectfully. That doesn't bring happiness, but only misery. So, that being said, take care of your integrity, and do what suits you better. I'm not saying that you should let go of him because that is an absolutely personal matter but... life and love are meant to enjoy and bring joy. Much love, Carolina.

 

Maybe you didn’t have really overlooked this, but you might have changed much more in your awareness or he might have changed in his manner. Why should it not be possible that he changes his way again?

How does he react when you tell him explicit which jokes and moods are too much for you?

You will need to talk and make clear to him that a change is necessary if he wants you to stay. Nobody needs to be perfect, but the things which are annoying you he could lessen surely. Aggressivity could have medical reasons too, there could be something with his job or anything else. It sounds you want to give your love a chance, point that out to him and show your sympathy. If he then not even tries to change at all you probably will have to set a limit for your own sake. All the best! L.Q.

 

It sounds like your fella is immature and needs to grow up! The thing is, it could be a phase. Whatever, maybe you should explain that if he wants to act like a jerk, he can do it on his own and see if he cares enough to change. P.D.

 

Thanks for your replies. Team Oracle is open to anyone so get involved. click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

January 28, 2013 - submitted by Carolina,

 

Q. Hello there!

Hi Oracle, I was listening in my art class to Violet Hill, when I realize that when Chris is singing "From the windows they were watching while we froze, down below ..." It sounds hillarius because it sounds like Chris private parts are frozing! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha What do you think? Have you ever think it? Cheers from Puerto Vallarta Mexico! With Love Your best fan Carolina.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I can honestly say that I have NEVER thought that - ever. I probably will every time I hear it now though so thanks for that.

p.s I hope you're not listening to music secretly in class.

January 28, 2013 - submitted by Clodagh,

 

Q. Morning Oracle! I came across this article about rock star demands... I find this hard to believe "Coldplay demand eight stamped local postcards wherever they go" and as for dreary ... how very dare they!!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I object to their use of the word "demand" more than "dreary". It's an item on their rider - it's hardly a demand.

If they think it's dreary for a band to want a local postcard as a memento of where they tour then so be it but it's all media titillation so let's take it with a pinch of salt. I happen to think it's a really good idea.

The band have been requesting stamped postcards since their first ever tour. It started with 4 - I didn't realize it had doubled.

January 28, 2013 - submitted by Jule,

 

Q. Hello,

a few days ago you said something about a folder with icons and images you could download from coldplay.com which was called Coldplay Tour.

Can I still download it?

It would be nice if you answer.

Thank you and nice greetings!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

This is the link for the MX digital tour pack.

January 28, 2013 - submitted by Carolina,[/color][/b]

 

Q. Hello there!

Hi Oracle, I was listening in my art class to Violet Hill, when I realize that when Chris is singing "From the windows they were watching while we froze, down below ..." It sounds hillarius because it sounds like Chris private parts are frozing! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha What do you think? Have you ever think it? Cheers from Puerto Vallarta Mexico! With Love Your best fan Carolina.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I can honestly say that I have NEVER thought that - ever. I probably will every time I hear it now though so thanks for that.

p.s I hope you're not listening to music secretly in class.

 

 

 

What strange kind of question to submit to the Oracle. I am honestly surprised that she answers it. I would have liked to watch her face when first reading that question. When I read the question, I could hardly believe my eyes. Is it just me?

^:no: Not just you!

With the one about locating Chris' house on Google maps, it's definitely one of the weirdest questions I've seen here!

Loving that question :laugh3:

What strange kind of question to submit to the Oracle. I am honestly surprised that she answers it. I would have liked to watch her face when first reading that question. When I read the question, I could hardly believe my eyes. Is it just me?

 

I burst out laughing when I read that question :laugh3: I am sure that was the oracle's reaction so she posted it :P

 

Violet Hill is my favourite & most listened song by Coldplay. Thanks for ruining it forever :laugh3: Oh God!! I think I'll need some time to get that thought out of my mind..