Ask the Oracle on Coldplay.com (Now in session!)

[Tash]

February 17, 2012 - submitted by Becca, United Kingdom

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #59

Recently, everything has been more than a little upside-down for me. Back in October, my best friend's dad killed himself. It happened at about 2pm on a Saturday afternoon. By 2.30pm, I was there too. I won't go into details but I'm just not coping with anything to do with that. At all. I have post-traumatic stress disorder and I'm really too terrified to talk to any of my friends about it, since last time I was dealing with a very sudden death, everyone kind of turned their backs on me.

I feel so, so alone and I've just had enough with feeling the way I do. I'm using sarcasm to deflect from all of my feelings but I don't want to hurt my friends' feelings - though nor do I want them to find out. I don't want to be pitied, just understood.

Please, please help me. I don't know who else I can turn to.

Thank you.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I am so sorry to hear of this terrible incident and the effect it's having on you. I know you realize that you can't cope with this on your own but am saddened you think you can't get the support of your friends. Please don't let the previous experience put you off sharing this. You need to talk about it even if at the moment it is just to explain the reason for your sarcasm to them. Your feelings are inwardly eating away at you and that can only lead to bad things. It's not healthy to keep it to yourself. I also suggest you speak to someone in your family that you feel you can trust. Isolating yourself is not the answer; coming here is a great first step. In the UK we have Victim Support which may be a good second step. If you have a teacher, doctor or counsellor you feel comfortable with, ask for help and advice from them too.

Keep a journal of your feelings so you at least have some outlet but please don't despair. There could be a support group to help you come to terms with what you witnessed. The sooner you talk about this, the sooner you can begin to come to terms with it and move forward. I wish you well. Over to you.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about you're situation. What caught my attention is how you mentioned that you suffer from PTSD because of the incident. I did some research and read in many sources that people who have PTSD might have trouble opening up to people. However that it is really important to do so. They say the more outside support you have the better you cope with PTSD. But if you're friends aren't willing to help you, you should maybe consider going to support group where you can meet new people, or maybe asking a therapist for help. I also read that it is important to sometimes just take your mind off of everything that is going on. I always suggest doing something new that you have always wanted to learn. Whenever I feel sad and am in absolutely no mood to talk, I bake. From big chocolate cakes to tiny muffins. I feel a million times better after that. Maybe you have something that you have always liked to learn but have just never gotten to it. Maybe join a team sport outside of school so that you could meet new people too.

Hope this could help. Silke, Barcelona J. P.S. HAVE A GREAT TIME AT THE COLDPLAY CONCERT!!!

 

As a first responder, over the years I've seen several graphic and sad situations, the bulk of which I've never even considered bringing home to tell. Things which I prefer to never recall. Fortunately, I've the brotherhood of my department to talk, vent or keep each other generally sane. I cannot stress enough that you are entitled to feel the way you do. It is NOT abnormal, but it IS imperative you seek a support system to truly comprehend what you've experienced and to work through the effect it had on you. Just the act of talking to someone who will listen can greatly relieve you of the burden you feel. Since you seem to feel your friends may not be the best resource, seek out any relative you trust will listen or a school councilor, municipal social worker, etc. You'll surely heal, but it can take time. Court.

 

Not too long ago, I went through a pretty difficult time and I had never felt as alone as I did then. But now, I feel so much happier and stronger! Having said that, I would like to tell you that as lost as everything may seem, it never is. The only time darkness will take over your life is when you let it. Not coping with something terrible that has happened doesn't make you a bad person. You'll deal with it when the time is right - for you. When it comes to your friends if they are true ones, they will be there for you no matter what. Tell them about it, about yourself. Just talking is sometimes the best therapy you can get, regardless of how the feedback will be. You said that you want to be understood. Well, let me tell you this: You are understood, Becca. By me and by many others, I promise. So, for the sake of you and the people who love and understand you, stay positive and strong!

PS: Have fun at the Coldplay concert!!! I have tickets to see them in August, and I couldn't be more excited! Nothing lifts one's spirits like Coldplay, right? Enjoy it! Sincerely, Medina.

 

Becca, death can be a hard thing to cope with, especially difficult is suicide. I've had two people I know, find their loved one after committing suicide; a friend found her son and my nephew found his best friend. All I wanted to do was take their pain away. It sounds so corny, but the pain eases with time. The thoughts and flashbacks will become less and less. You didn't mention anything about talking to your parents. Even if they couldn't counsel you they should be able to comfort you and they may have resources for you to get counseling. I don't know how old you are, but check with a school counselor, they can also point you to professionals that may be available at little or no cost. I'm sure there are other resources out there for you, but professionals know how to help you through this. Your friends are not equipped with the knowledge of what to do and may back off out of confusion and not wanting to say the wrong thing. In the mean time do things that make you happy, distract yourself with school, work and play, nothing destructive. You are not alone, your best friend is also going through this, you have each other for support. I'm so glad to hear you are going to see Coldplay. I went to their concert about 3 weeks after my brother died and the energy of the band and the crowd kept me happy and smiling for weeks and the joy helped me move on. Remember, everyone dies in time and they are always with us in our memories and spirits. Dawn.

 

I'm very sorry to hear about what you're going through. I really think you should talk about it with someone because right now you're holding everything in. I know the feeling and how lonely it can be. You shouldn't feel embarrassed at all about asking for help because what you've seen and been through can be very traumatic and it's healthy for you to feel this way. I'd be more worried if you didn't. You're on the right track, tell people how you feel. Maybe your parents or closest friends, maybe even an adult from school. I know sometimes its easier to try to detach yourself from everyone and be sarcastic and not put much effort into anything, but to move on and to feel better, I think you have to accept your feelings and confront them. It might feel worse before it feels better, but keep your head up, and know that you aren't alone. For one, you have us here at Coldplay, and I'm sure your friends and family care about you as well, let them help you. It might be hard, but try not to push them away. You get to see the guys play in June; so happy for you! Have fun, girl! I wish you the best. Love, Darem.

 

I'm very sorry for your loss. You say you feel alone, that your friends turned your back on you before and now you don't want them to find out. But you need to tell someone how you feel! It's important to get your feelings off your chest so they don't weigh you down. Just remember that nearly everyone has shared your loss of having a loved one pass away, so try talking to your friends again and let them comfort you. Writing out your feelings and seeing your words on the page is another healthy way to express what you are feeling. I know your best friend must be going through a great deal of pain since their dad died, so most importantly, make yourself available and be there for your friend as much as possible. Warm regards, Blake.

 

Your friends don't sound like very good friends to me if they didn't help you through the last sudden death. I'm not surprised that you don't want them to find out but I still think you need to tell them. Or someone. Anyone! Well, you told us so that's great. Terri.

 

Thanks to all who sent in their replies. If you'd like to take part in this week's Team Oracle, click to read this week's question, and send us your answer.

[Tash]

February 20, 2012 - submitted by Becky, United States of America

 

Q. If someone writes a song for Coldplay would the band mates accept it?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

No lovely they wouldn't - that goes for lyrics and or/music. I usually advise people with writing talents to get in touch with The Guild of International Songwriters & Composers.

[Tash]

February 20, 2012 - submitted by Gaston, Argentina

 

Q. Hi Oracle! I was watching

and I saw that Will has a tatoo on his left arm. I've never seen that so I was wandering what is it?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It's a tattoo of his first born's handprint.

Here is a slightly clearer picture of it.

[Tash]

February 20, 2012 - submitted by Carla, Peru

 

Q. Hey Oracle! I heard the boys did a mini cover of Barbie Girl. I think Jonny's voice is so funny :)

Do you know if there's a complete video or something? Thanks.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

There are

of it but they only did a few seconds of the song.

It was at the time they used to perform part of a song that was recorded by someone local to where they were; A-ha in Norway for example and as an Aqua are from Denmark, the

clip was played there on November 21st 2002.

[Lauriane]

February 20, 2012 - submitted by Gaston, Argentina[/color][/b]

 

Q. Hi Oracle! I was watching

and I saw that Will has a tatoo on his left arm. I've never seen that so I was wandering what is it?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It's a tattoo of his first born's handprint.

Here is a slightly clearer picture of it.

 

I don't know how it got there but there's a dot between you and tube in the link and it took me to a po*n website instead of the original video on Youtube... :facepalm: You'd better erase it :lol:

[Tash]

^ Oops! Fixed!

[Coeurli]

^^ :lol::lol::laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

 

And about the tattoo: awwww Will is so cute :nice:

[Mcllwain71]

Hi Tash,

fyi it´s not fixed,it still took me to that website :D

[Tash]

Hi Tash,

fyi it´s not fixed,it still took me to that website :D

 

Well, I can only edit my own posts!

[Lauriane]

^ I just corrected mine as well.

 

I like how The Oracle chose a pic of Will from Coldplaying. We are the source !

[Tash]

^ Thanks! :nice:

[Tash]

February 21, 2012 - submitted by Max, Canada

 

Q. Hi Oracle,

I recently dug out my old camera and found a beautiful picture from the Vancouver show of the Viva la Vida tour. I really want to share it with people and submit it but I missed the deadline for submitting tour photos to the site. How can I submit it?

 

Thanks!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

There is no deadline to submit tour photos to the site so just click here and upload them.

[Tash]

February 21, 2012 - submitted by N, Bahrain

 

Q. Hi Oracle!

I just wanted to ask about that competition the site had to win a signed souvenir from the Grammys, did they already announce the winner? Or is it still going?

 

Thanks! :)

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

The competition's closing date was 17th February so it's over. We don't "announce" the winner anywhere; we contact the winner directly.

[Tash]

February 21, 2012 - submitted by Britt, Netherlands

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

At what time does the Brit Award show start? I'd really love to see it! Are the boys looking forward to the show?

Thanks in advance,

Britt

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

The Brits will be broadcast on ITV tonight at 8pm. Coldplay are opening the show so you won't want to miss the beginning!

They rehearsed yesterday and are already there now so are more than ready for tonight.

Voting is now closed so let's wait and see if they bring one of Peter Blake's bespoke statuettes home.

[Tash]

February 22, 2012 - submitted by Andrew, United States of America

 

Q. I noticed the tweet about the Brit Awards and the table where Coldplay will be dining. Table number 42, coincidence?

Thanks Oracle!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Roadie #42 took a photo of table #42 but it wasn't where Coldplay dined, so no coincidence.

[Tash]

February 22, 2012 - submitted by Logan, United States of America

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

I am very excited about going to another Coldplay concert this summer. I have seen some of their performances online and have wondered why they haven't played Lovers in Japan. In my opinion it is one of their best songs performed live. Is there any chance they will add it to their set list when they start their tour back up?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Lovers In Japan has been played live so many times as it was part of the Viva tour setlist. It's not on the current MX one though so enjoy these clips to your heart's content.

[Tash]

February 22, 2012 - submitted by Harry, United Kingdom

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

I just watched the Brits (Charlie Brown was amazing), and I noticed Chris playing with Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds! Was he meant to be there, because Noel didn't mention him or anything?

Thanks from a massive fan!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I swear I'm laughing with you, not at you but yes, of course Noel Gallagher knew Chris was there. I think any artist would be pretty miffed if someone from another band just came on stage and started playing without permission. The giveaway is the fact that Chris is playing his own keyboard.

[TraceOddity]

That would have to have been one hell of a coincidence!:lol:

 

 

:chris:: Golly! How did THIS get on stage? We didn't even use it for Charlie Brown. Oh well. Long as it's here...

Noel: WTF?? Oh well, he's pretty good...for a plant pot! May as well let him stay.:p

[Tash]

4:13

Oh hai!

 

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miVwPbbPN8Y[/ame]

[Tash]

February 23, 2012 - submitted by Tanya, United Kingdom

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

Who was your favourite performer at the Brits? (except, of course, Coldplay who were sublime!)

Thanks, from a crazy Coldplay fan :)

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I know you said except for but Coldplay were my favourite. I liked the simplicity of Ed Sheeran, the almost too scared to wreck her newly operated on vocals of Adele, the energy of Rihanna, the no fuss Noel Gallagher (featuring Chris of course) and the reworked version by Bruno Mars. All in all I thought almost all the performances were jolly good.

[Tash]

February 23, 2012 - submitted by Molly McGrath, United Kingdom

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

Chris, Will and Guy are all in the list of top tags, but Jonny isn't. Do you think theres a reason that he's mentioned less often than the others?

Love, a huge fan :)

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

We must rectify this! Now I have my much coveted search box (much better than the tag cloud I reckon), I will be sure to tag Jonny more if you guys ask more Jonny related questions. In fact, I'm tagging this one for starters!

[Tash]

February 23, 2012 - submitted by Lily, United Kingdom

 

Q. Do you know what modern American (rock) bands that anyone from Coldplay (Chris in particular) likes? To be honest, I think American bands are terrible compared to our great British bands, so I was wondering what kind of American bands the group enjoys. Maybe if I listen to them my opinion of American bands will change.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Wow Lily, I'm quite surprised because although there are (in our own personal opinions) rather a lot of well under par bands all over the world, the U.S has provided us with some astonishingly great artists over the years.

 

I thank America for Beck, Aerosmith, Jeff Buckley, Soundgarden, Nirvana, Santana, Blondie, Sly & the Family Stone, Pearl Jam, Jimi Hendrix, Ryan Adams and The Black Keys to name some of my personal favourites.

 

I'm going to include solo artists in the list you asked for but it's not a definitive list by a long way; just a few varied examples of what the band like or listen to.

REM, The Flaming Lips, Foster the People, Tom Waits, Foo Fighters, Kings of Leon, The Strokes, Prince, Kanye West, Rihanna, Lady GaGa and Jay Z.

 

After The Brits, an article appeared on a blog that I did find of some interest. Maybe you will too given what you said.

[Phoebeo]

February 23, 2012 - submitted by Tanya, United Kingdom[/color][/b]

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

Who was your favourite performer at the Brits? (except, of course, Coldplay who were sublime!)

Thanks, from a crazy Coldplay fan :)

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I know you said except for but Coldplay were my favourite. I liked the simplicity of Ed Sheeran, the almost too scared to wreck her newly operated on vocals of Adele, the energy of Rihanna, the no fuss Noel Gallagher (featuring Chris of course) and the reworked version by Bruno Mars. All in all I thought almost all the performances were jolly good.

 

 

 

I don't know why, but I just read that in a very very british accent. :laugh3:

[Tash]

February 24, 2012 - submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

 

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

When I answer questions of a personal nature, Coldplay.com readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. So, we now have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words., to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 1st March.

 

I play bass and drums in my church and was one of the youth leaders. There was a main youth leader who was going to give me many chances, like to preach, organise stuff, etc. I had a great freedom and opportunities. However, some people arrived to the leadership who changed everything according to their will. They even changed the main leader and then my participation was obsolete. Now, in music, one of the persons who cut my wings has it against me. If I say something, that person contradicts me. I don't know if the other people notice that and some times in the past I spoke about it and people thought I was a rebel. What can I do? I really love my church and love playing music in it, but I don't want my wings to be cut anymore. Thanks for responding me. Martin, Costa Rica.

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Please email your replies to [email protected]

[Tash]

February 24, 2012 - submitted by Emma, Australia

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #60

I have this friend whom I'm very very close with. We've expressed feelings for each other too. Problem is he lives about 2 hours away and we're both young so I only see him when he comes up every two or so months. Which hasn't been a REALLY big problem until recently. He has ALOT of work and I understand that but, after two weeks of virtually no contact and not even a happy birthday (which I'm especially hurt by) and me making calls and calls all going to voice mail. I've tried telling him to call me back but he never does. And it's so sudden it's not like him at all! My question is, do I give up and leave him be? Thanks Oracle. Emma, Australia.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I don't want to be condescending but it's common, especially when we're young, to have romantic feelings for our friends of the opposite gender.

I also have friends who are sometimes too busy to call but if they ignored my birthday, ignored my calls and messages I'd begin to question how good a friend they are. Friendship is a two way thing and if you're now finding that it's become one sided, I'd have a think about whether you'd put up with this if you didn't have strong feelings for him. So, usually this is where I'd suggest writing a letter but I am not going to. If absence really makes the heart grow fonder, he's certainly not showing it. It's up to you how to proceed but for what it's worth I think that yes, give up and leave him be. He'll probably notice you more by your absence. Let him make the next step and if he doesn't; move forward with your real friends.

Over to you.

 

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I honestly believe you have to put this guy out of your mind, not out of your life completely, but don't dwell on him. He is obviously not giving you as much thought and concern as you are giving him and that is a major sign that he doesn't deserve you. You mentioned that you are young and when we're young we have a tendency to believe that our current situation seems hopeless and all-consuming but in a few months you will be able to look back and consider it a learning experience. The fact that he has stopped contacting you and didn't even wish you a happy birthday, makes me question how genuine the feelings he previously expressed towards you honestly were. I'm not saying he's a bad person or he doesn't want to be your friend anymore, but right now he's not acting in a way that any friend should! The bottom line is, the ball is in his court and if he wants your relationship to keep getting stronger, he has to be the one to put more effort into it, not you. If he decides to continue to stop contacting you and being rude, he doesn't deserve your friendship! Good Luck! -Katie NYC

 

In recent weeks, I have had the same problem as you. In my school I have a friend I have known for ages, but three weeks ago she started to talk with another classmates and she also started to let me alone. At first I thought she had problems at home and other things, but days later, I realised she had a problem with me. I talked with her and I could fix my problems. I think the best you can do is talk with him and resolve your problems, because if you don't do nothing you could lose a friend. I think is better try to fix the problems that let pass the time and don't know what is the problem. Kisses, Mariu.

 

I am sort of in the same situation as you. I am fifteen, and I have a friend who I have feelings for. Like your friend, however, he has got a lot of work at the moment. However, my friend did not forget my birthday, even though he had all the work to do. I personally feel, that if your friend was such a good person, then he would talk to you, or at least reply to your calls, even if they were a few minutes - after all, that is better than nothing and it shows you that he cares.

In my opinion, it is now up to your friend to call you. You made the effort to contact him, so, seeing if he replies will show you if he is a true friend. After all, he cannot be doing his work 24/7. I wish you all the best. Laurel.

 

Emma, I'm sorry that you're having boy problems. As a teen myself, I know from personal experience that it's no fun at all. However, if you truly like him, you shouldn't give up. Until you actually get to talk to him, you don't know for sure that what the two of you had is over. So try to think positive about it. He could be grounded or for some other reason unable to contact you. I'm sure that he wouldn't just ignore you if the two of you have been good friends for some time now. I hope problems between the two of you are solved very soon. Best of luck, don't give up, Bethany.

 

I think that you should figure out how you feel about him. The way it sounded in the question you asked was that he doesn't really want to talk to you. If you think that you do really like him I suggest you get in your car and ask your parents to drive you to his house. Maybe call his mom to ask if he's around before hand, so that you don't go there and find that he's not there (it's always best if you ask his mom not tell him your coming, he will probably be more truthful then). And ask him what's wrong or bothering him. If he doesn't want you in his life anymore then that is his loss. His loss of a great and marvelous girl (because you like Coldplay I naturally assume that you are awesome) So if he wont answer the phone he should live with how you're going to react. But you in your heart think that you could maybe live without him, I think you should just let him go. Maybe later he will call to say how sorry he was. Good luck and stay strong. Silke, Barcelona.

 

Here are some good ideas for this similar kind of problem I once had. Although, I was the guy who didn't answer.

You don't actually know your friend too well, even if you think so. Your roads have separated and your current life situations just aren't the same anymore. You have to accept that. You don't have to stop calling him, but I think you really have to stop patronizing him. You make him disappear by caring too much. He might have some kind of situation that he wants to clear him self without any help.

I assume that someday he will understand what you were doing and maybe he even thanks you. Maybe not. In my opinion true friendship isn't measured in answered calls. It will last longer and it will break through quite harsh stuff. You may feel hurt, but you have to take a look in the mirror, too. Say you love him, if you really do. If the answer is negative or somehow too offensive to take, then maybe it isn't your problem anymore. That guy has to take a look in the mirror at the same time, you see.

Your situation may pass and someday you will find each other again. Time goes faster than you may think now. If you are really concerned, maybe you should ask someone who knows him better than you do. You can help him, but first you have to find out what kind of help he really needs. Glad to write, Me.

 

Emma, we are never too busy to say hi to a loved one or someone we care about. We may be self involved with our own lives, but if desired, time will be found. Think about it, how long does it take to text or leave a message. It would take under one minute and there is no one that can't find a minute.

My experience tells me that it could be a couple of things; he is backing away because as you've said you've been close and he is young and doesn't want to get too involved at this time or he may have found someone else. He may not be officially breaking up with you because he doesn't want to hurt you or he wants you to be available if this new relationship doesn't work out. Whichever it is, it doesn't matter, he has not responded to you, let him go. You are young, don't be held back by a maybe relationship with someone, move on. Focus on growing to be the strong, vibrant woman you want to be. Date other guys, we learn about people when dating, what we like and don't like in people and relationships, the balance of a relationship (it's not all about one person and their way) and even games people play and not getting caught up in the game. Date and learn about yourself and others and when you are ready, the right person will come into your life. It may be this boy, it may not, but whomever it is the both of you will be ready when the timing is right. Keep enjoying life and staying positive and good things are coming your way. Dawn.

 

Emma, maybe a romantic relationship between the two of you isn't the best thing right now. But that does not mean that I think you should give up on him. Despite everything, he is still your friend and this absence of his may be his way of dealing with something that you don't know about. You said that the two of you are very close, and what he probably needs most of all right now, is time. When and if he's ready to talk about whatever is going on, he will. I think that you should live your life normally, but let him know that you are there for him in any case. Because really, that is all you can do right now: be a friend. I hope everything works out. Best wishes, Medina.

 

I feel that you're better off without him. From the looks of it, you both weren't after the same things and so maybe now you're feeling a bit let down. From what you described, he isn't very devoted to the relationship and that might end up hurting you if it already hasn't. I suggest taking a step back and really weighing the good versus the bad. I'm assuming he said he likes you but that doesn't mean you have to like him, especially if he isn't treating you well. I don't believe in waiting around for people so I think you should just keep your mind and heart open to new things. and maybe people. You're young, don't keep your head stuck under the sand for him or anyone. If he really is interested in you he'll come around, and if he doesn't well it'll be his loss! Hope this helps and Happy Late Birthday. Love, Darem.

 

Not at all, Emma! I went through a lot of trouble keeping up with some of my best friends, because they graduated from high-school, two years before I did. Fortunately, in my case, technology prevailed and I eventually got back in touch with them, thanks to Facebook. Now, he may be in a situation where he is unable to get in touch with you, through technology. It's not like he doesn't like you anymore, you're friendship hasn't changed, you are just going to have to respect his schedule, and he'll get back to you. Two weeks isn't a long time, and it might be a while before you can hang around, but you are far from seeing the last of him. So don't worry. I haven't seen my best friend in months, but we still talk to each other very frequently, and she still owes me for that birthday dinner she promised me in June. Wow, I can hold someone to their word. Best wishes, Bradley H.

 

It must be hard on many levels. First this friend you have feelings for which is already confusing, then him being far away, suddenly becoming distant you're getting the whole package of "love hurts".

You do need to let him be. But that doesn't mean giving up! It only means you're giving him the space and time he for some reason needs now. It also shows you accept him the way he is, even though it's hurting you. My experience is that important people in life tend to come back. It is difficult when you are the one waiting, questioning your feelings, his feelings, whether you're making a fool of yourself - there is a whole lot of pain, anger, insecurity in there. It's hard to be the one left hanging, the one they know they can come back to. But, in the end, they do come back, so your pain vanishes and your heavy heart lightens up.

I know it's no consolation for you right now, but it also makes you grow as a person, as you learn to appreciate what you had with him and to let go what you can't keep.

And the best thing is, when he sorted out his life and comes back your way, it's going to be stronger than you could imagine, because no matter how much you change with time, you'll still be his loving friend, and that's something he'll be grateful for. Trust me, been there. Kata.

 

He may be acting this way because he is unsure of how he feels about you at the moment. It's possible that he met someone who lives closer and he's distancing himself from you in order to give himself time to find his bearings. If he hasn't returned your calls, then try talking to his friends and see what they have to report. If you still don't hear from him, you should consider making the trip to see him. This way he can't blow you off and you can set things straight with him. Whatever you do, don't wait around for him to make up his mind on you. Remember, every moment he doesn't talk to you is another moment you could be with someone who will. Best of luck, Blake.

 

Thanks once again for taking the time to respond. Click to read this week's question, and send us your answer.