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March 16, 2012 - submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

 

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

When I answer questions of a personal nature, Coldplay.com readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. So, we now have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 22nd March.

 

How can I help my husband get through mid life crisis ? I want to help him so much but I can't seem to get it right.

Do u have any ideas ? Mary, USA.

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Please email your replies to [email protected]

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March 16, 2012 - submitted by Jane, United States of America

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #63

I really need your help. Yesterday, I got in an accident while trying out for varsity volleyball. I knew I wasn't going to make varsity, but I thought it would be a good experience. When we were scrimmaging, I went for a ball that was not mine and a varsity player landed on me while trying to hit from back row. Everyone was watching, including the boys team. She is injured now and out for quite some time. This is the second time my stupidity has been the cause of someone's injury. I feel like I am the one who needs to be punished. How has this happened to me two times in less than a year? I am spiraling into depression and terrified to go back to school. I don't know what to do.

Thanks, Jane. USA.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It sounds like you're punishing yourself quite harshly already Jane. Accidents happen and many sports come with a risk of injury especially one where tackling is involved. I hear you saying the ball wasn't yours but if the player hadn't been injured I'm sure you would see that trying to get it was a risk worth taking at the time. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but it's time to stop beating yourself up. The fact that you admit to your wrongdoing means you can work at trying to be more responsible in sport. There isn't anything you can do about what has happened but you can certainly endeavour to avoid it happening in the future. Please try not to worry. If it helps you to talk to the injured player and express your apology, ask how they see the incident. You may be surprised. Offer your help & support too if that's appropriate.

It takes a big person to admit their mistakes but you've suffered enough. Facing people will feel like part of a punishment too but again, just express your sorrow at the event and then let it go. Whether it was your fault or not, you won't achieve anything by self flagellation. Learn from your mistakes but don't pay for them. Over to you.

 

Relax, these things happen. As long as you didn't hurt her intentionally, there's no need for you to feel so guilty. However, I do think you would feel better if you explained your mistake to her properly it seems to be a major accident, after all. If she seems to accept and forgive your mistake, then be with her as she makes the recovery; make a new friend. Also, you have no right to feel guilty for trying out for the varsity team, in fact, you should be proud of yourself! And don't worry about other people's judgements you love yourself; you know your worth; you realise your mistakes; you are aware of your imperfections; you still love yourself. Saranya.

 

First of all I beg you: calm down. Believe it or not, every single problem has a solution. Sports will always carry around injuries, it's its nature. How many times have we seen famous sportspeople being taken to hospital for some kind of foul? I'm not saying it's good, but it just happens all around the world.

I can imagine what a situation you were in, trying to give your bestest to get into the varsity. Your aim wasn't injuring your mate but trying to show off because of your movements and shrewdness. And when focusing on a very high goal, we all push ourselves to the maximum.

So Jane, I know you're a highly intelligent girl. If I were in your shoes I would be completely honest with the injured girl, pour my heart out and say: Sorry, I didn't mean to do it. Bring some cookies, try to cheer her up, who knows, a great friendship could come out of this. It could have happened to her as much as it happened to you.

So somehow you learned with this event: simply try to be a little bit more careful next time. Wish you the best! Carolina.

 

Jane, you are not to blame. What happened was an accident, nothing else. The fact that you feel so guilty is sign of consideration and being selfless. It wasn't stupidity that was the cause, it was simply... life. Sometimes, bad things happen. But what can one do? Give up and live life as if waiting for even worse things to happen? Absolutely not. What I think you should do is take a deep breath, gather enough courage to go to school and apologize. You seem to be sincerely sorry, and letting that person know that is the best you can do. I sincerely hope that you never think "what if". Those two words put together can, in my opinion, be two of the most haunting and destructive words. Wondering what could have been will never get you anywhere good. Wondering about what can be, however, does. Let the bad events of yesterday go and try to make the events of tomorrow better. And please, don't be too hard on yourself! Best wishes, Medina.

 

Jane, I think you are being too hard on yourself, accidents happen. When playing sports it is natural when the ball gets near us to want to go after it, experience helps us to control those instincts and better judge whether to go after a ball or leave it for another player. You are only guilty of not being as good a volleyball player as you'd like and possibly trying too hard in front of the crowd that was watching and when we try too hard, we can make mistakes.

What you tell yourself, will impact how you feel. Don't go negative, it will only bring more negative and yes, depression will follow. When negative thoughts come in reject them and replace them with positive thoughts. Don't assume you know what others are thinking, but what you believe about yourself (negative or positive) can be projected out and others will start to believe it too. Focus on your school work and the beautiful spirit inside you. Hold your head up, smile and imagine your spirit is shining and that is what others will see. Dawn.

 

Jane I don't think you should be punished for it because as you said it was an accident. The fact that you feel so guilty about it says how much you care and really didn't mean for her to get hurt. Don't forget its quite common for people to get injured in sports and sometimes it just happens. You mentioned that everyone saw and I hope this doesn't mean they're bothering you about it but regardless, keep in mind that they have little to do with what happened. I recommend going to the girl that's injured and letting her know how sorry you are. Maybe do something nice for her (everyone likes cookies). I'm sure she'd appreciate it and it might help you feel better too. Think of how you'd want her to feel if it were the other way around. Hope it works out. Love, Darem.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. First, I think you should realize that what happened isn't your fault. Believe me, I've been there. I play field hockey and I injure so many people that I have learnt to just forgive myself. You can't do anything about the fact that you dove for a ball and another teammate crashed into you. I think that that is crucial to solving your problem. Learn to forgive yourself. It sometimes feels like such an impossible task. But as long as you keep telling yourself that it wasn't your fault your body will one day just give in. It gets tired of hearing the same thing over and over again that it will start to believe it. Furthermore, I know that you are terrified to go back to school. But if you don't it will raise questions and you will feel even worse when your mom or dad makes you finally go to school. If you feel really sad or depressed think of that one person halfway around the globe that has literally injured more than 12 people in the last 2 months (I really have). I think that the most important thing to do right now is forgive yourself. The rest will follow eventually. I hope it works out for you. Silke, Barcelona.

 

It's never a good feeling when you hurt someone uninentionally (with either words or actions). Everyone has done this at one time or another, myself included, and I understand your feeling of stupidity! Don't be too hard on yourself, you have done nothing wrong! In sports, there is always potential for injury. Athletes from all sports are fully aware of this as soon as they step onto the court or the field for a game. It might be hard for you, but don't dwell on your mistake, because mistakes are part of the game. I'm sure the varsity player knows that what happened was an honest accident, too. If you haven't already, visit her at her house and talk to her and see how she's doing. You could also send her a get well card to show her how you feel. In addition to showing your concern, you'll feel loads better afterwards. Good luck! Blake.

 

Thanks again for your responses. Team Oracle is open to anyone so click to read this week's question, and send us your answer.

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March 19, 2012 - submitted by Jessica, United Kingdom

 

Q. I have a big problem. I'm one of Coldplay's biggest fans... ever. And I was THRILLED (or a word better than thrilled) to find out that Mum had managed to get tickets to see them in Coventry. (Well, I had be planning the whole ticket buying thing for a week). And life was awesome, I'M GOING TO SEE COLDPLAY!!!! But then I got my GCSE dates and the day after Coldplay, I have my GCSE physics exam :( What do I do? :(

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Well if you can spend a whole week planning ticket buying, you can certainly spend the next two months planning for an exam!

Look, you're not going to learn all that much more the day before the exam are you? In fact it might be nice to give your brain a rest. It's not like the gig is going to erase your memory either so just spend plenty time preparing and revising from now until then.

The same thing happened to me. I lived in Manchester yet travelled over 80 miles to Birmingham the night before my German Aural exam to see U2. I got a grade B so it can be done.

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March 19, 2012 - submitted by Dominic, United States of America

 

Q. Hi Oracle,

 

I was showed my friends the other day the video to Strawberry Swing because I loved it and they were really impressed by it. However, they questioned many times whether each scene was drawn by chalk or if it was done on computer. I'm curious as to how long it took to make the video and if each shot was really drawn out?

 

Thank You,

Dominic.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Yes, they really did draw out each scene in chalk as Anchorman found out in his Shynola interview.

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March 20, 2012 - submitted by Josh, United States of America

 

Q. Hey Oracle. I just received an old Coldplay shirt from a while back. It has different yellow paint samples on the front. Do you remember that shirt?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Ah the Pantone. I do indeed. That was my favourite tee at the time.

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March 20, 2012 - submitted by Valentina, Denmark

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

 

I was listening to a live version of In My Place and I heard Chris say that Jonny actually wrote that song. I also remember Chris mentioning that Square One was written by Jonny jamming with Will. I was under the impression all melodies came from Chris and then were worked together by the band, but are there actually songs whose melody comes from someone other than Chris? And which other songs are Jonny's then? :)

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Chris comes up with the majority of the melodies but regardless the band often come up with individual parts, hooks, riffs, fills etc. Some songs do start as a jam and if someone has a great idea, it becomes the reason for continuing and forming a new song. Jonny did come up with the instantly recognisable guitar hook for In My Place. As far as I know, Square One comprises many different elements from the band and a riff from Matt McGinn.

I can't answer your question other than to say no other songs are Jonny's - they are all Coldplay's.

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March 20, 2012 - submitted by Brandon, United States of America

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

I've been listening to Coldplay since I was in middle school and during my Sophomore year, I started a new tradition to listen to Coldplay the night before every track meet. I never lost a race that whole year except at the state track meet, where I got 2nd and I was unable to listen to Coldplay the night before. Do you believe this is just coincidence, or do you believe that Coldplay actually has an major influence on me and my running?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Yes I do believe they have an influence on your running and do you want to know why? Because YOU do. If it works, who cares if there's real truth to it.

The key to motivation is different to superstition so don't get too fixated on your performance IF you find you can't listen to Coldplay before a race. Coming 2nd is tremendous by the way - well done on all your placings.

I find

works for me...
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March 20, 2012 - submitted by Josh, United States of America[/color][/b]

 

Q. Hey Oracle. I just received an old Coldplay shirt from a while back. It has different yellow paint samples on the front. Do you remember that shirt?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Ah the Pantone. I do indeed. That was my favourite tee at the time.

 

Hahha. I want that shirt. :awesome:

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March 21, 2012 - submitted by Bradley, United States of America

 

Q. Hey, Oracle. I was wondering about the beginning of the new live version of GPASUYF. It sounds like Chris is singing off pitch but it's obviously on purpose. Is it in some sort of weird key or something?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It's not a weird key, just a different one. It took me a couple of times to get used to it but I like the way the first verse is almost hauntingly sang before the fantastic drum build up by Will. Amazing version of the song methinks.

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March 21, 2012 - submitted by Eelco, Netherlands

 

Q. Best Oracle in the world,

 

Last year I saw Coldplay at the Pinkpop Festival, it was my first festival ever. I saw lots of people wearing weird and funny clothes.

I'll be going to Pinkpop again this year with some friends. My friends want to dress up funny, but I don't now why I should do it too.

 

Would you dress up funny for a festival?

 

Greets from Holland,

Eelco

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Personally no, I wouldn't dress up at any festival - though I should point out that I generally love fancy dress. Bestival is a festival that encourages people to dress up on the Saturday and I know that the first day of T in the Park some people do attend in costume too.

I suggest you only do what YOU feel comfortable doing and that's not just my advice for dressing up for Pinkpop, but for life!

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March 21, 2012 - submitted by Jack, United Kingdom

 

Q. Dear Oracle, I'm seeing the boys at the Emirates Stadium in London on the 4th of June (first time so I'm massively excited already!!) I've got GA tickets which I believe includes the first tier of stadium seating. In your experience, how early would I need to get to the venue to queue to get a decent choice of seats? Thanks :)

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Ooh Jack, that's a big pressure question! I wouldn't like to say "get there for 9 a.m" but I do know for a fact that some of our wonderful fans will do because the crew & I have met a few of them of several occasions. I went to a show at Wembley Stadium last Summer and got there at around 5pm. It wasn't too difficult to get a good standing aspect but the only available GA seats were no where near the front.

That said, wherever you are in a stadium you're going to have a great view of the overall show and its effects.

In answer to your direct question though, I'd have to say "er, early"!

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March 21' date=' 2012 - submitted by Eelco, Netherlands[/color']

 

Q. Best Oracle in the world,

 

Last year I saw Coldplay at the Pinkpop Festival, it was my first festival ever. I saw lots of people wearing weird and funny clothes.

I'll be going to Pinkpop again this year with some friends. My friends want to dress up funny, but I don't now why I should do it too.

 

Would you dress up funny for a festival?

 

Greets from Holland,

Eelco

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Personally no, I wouldn't dress up at any festival - though I should point out that I generally love fancy dress. Bestival is a festival that encourages people to dress up on the Saturday and I know that the first day of T in the Park some people do attend in costume too.

I suggest you only do what YOU feel comfortable doing and that's not just my advice for dressing up for Pinkpop, but for life!

 

This will do for Pinkpop

 

11.jpg

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March 22, 2012 - submitted by Martin, Australia

 

Q. Greetings oh wise Oracle...

 

This question might have been asked already, but which Mylo Xyloto album artwork do the boys consider to be the 'main' or 'original' one?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Ooh that's an interesting question yet at the same time if we think about it... why would anyone who had an absolute give the option? I think the beauty of it is that they see that both work so well but suit different individual styles within the parameters. As with lyric interpretation, the band have left it up to you to decide which you prefer. That's also why I like the personalised MX artwork.

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March 22, 2012 - submitted by Alicia, Mexico

 

Q. I am afraid. I found a person that likes the same things that I like. She loves the same bands, movies, etc. that I. Everything is SO similar! Should I be concerned or upset? It's like I'm not unique. It's a little bit traumatic. She loves the same lyrics that I... It's inexplicable.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Don't worry Alicia, it's not inexplicable. We're all humans so by our nature we'll have a lot in common with many other people. I mean, Coldplay have sold millions of records so that's a thing that unites a certain set of people despite age, creed, race etc. If we then add favourite books, films, TV shows, comedians etc. then it would stand that if we all liked totally different things we wouldn't have the means to experience any of it. There wouldn't be the need for cinemas showing films or theatres with comedy or bands playing live gigs because everything would be too niche. Yes, we are all unique in our differences but we should celebrate our similarities with the people who share them. Or at the very least embrace those differences to experience new things - even if the new is from

.

 

*This is my favourite piece of classical music. Ever.

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March 23, 2012 - submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

 

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

When I answer questions of a personal nature, Coldplay.com readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. So, we now have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 29th March.

I'm unsocial and I want to make more friends. I'm beginning to hate being a loner and I have no idea why I can't manage to have many companions. I love people and I care about them a lot too but yet I am a loner.

Thankyou.

Love,

Sababa, Bangladesh.

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Please email your replies to [email protected]

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March 23, 2012 - submitted by Mary, United States of America

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #64

How can I help my husband get through mid life crisis? I want to help him so much but I can't seem to get it right.

Do u have any ideas?

Mary, USA.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It is often branded a cliche but this is a subject that I have witnessed at close range more than once. I have to say in my experience it's mostly been males I have seen it happen to in varying degrees.

I have seen 30 year old and 40 year old men give up on long-term relationships for younger women, I have seen men buying guitars and sports cars to try and regain lost youth. I have heard men say they have nothing good in their life despite a loving family. I have seen depression over finances, careers and even hair loss. I have seen women getting involved with much younger men and sadly one ended up in hospital. The point I am making is a mid-life crisis can manifest itself in different levels from mild to extreme - I don't know which level your husband is at.

It sounds as though he is possibly displaying negative mood swings.

All I can say without knowing more is to handle this with care. If you can remain as positive as possible because the problem can exacerbate quickly. Don't put pressure on him to let you in or on yourself to fix it. You can't force it so just make sure he knows you're there for him and try to stay as close to your normal as possible.

If there's things you can do together for fun, try to get involved and embrace part of the change. It doesn't have to be seen as a bad thing, just as a transition. I don't need to tell you how hard it can be to live with someone going through this but your reaction is as important as the crisis behaviour. It can be distressing for both parties. Just take care to observe radical changes in mood as it can easily turn into a dark depression and that's a different problem to tackle. As with grief (which can be a trigger sometimes) a mid life crisis requires understanding, support and a large amount of patience. Good luck, Mary.

Over to you...

 

Mary, just be there. Think about it, when we are in our 20s, we are busy trying to build careers, getting married, having children, and working on making ends meet, pretty much numb. In our 30s, the career is farther along, the children are older and we're still distracted with daily living, while settling into a routine. In our 40s/50s, the children are grown and don't need us as much, careers may feel stagnant, and we have fewer distractions. A feeling of "there is something more" creeps in as the distractions of life, get less and less. Sometimes, it's just a feeling of getting old, so use this opportunity to discover new things and break from the old routines. Start doing new activities with your husband, freshen the relationship up a bit. Go out on dates, exercise or walk together, it doesn't have to be complicated, just rediscover each other again; you both have changed over the years. Encourage him to get a hobby; I'm sure there is something he's always enjoyed or wanted to do. Try volunteering, join a community group or even a church. Spirituality helps us feel connected to something bigger than ourselves. Balance the time you both have individually and together, everyone needs space. This time of life is about exploring who you really are and finding where you fit into it. Don't hold onto the past, it will only cause frustration, but a new beginning, will bring new life to both of you. Dawn.

 

I will keep this short, and based simply on what I would do: be supporting. Many people go through this crisis, some easier than others, so it's hardly unusual. As long as your husband knows that you are there by his side, I'm sure everything will be fine. Marriage is a strong bond between two people - make sure to let him know that you're aware of that. Whenever I'm down, I find comfort in knowing that there's always someone there to help me get right back up again. I am sure he, as well as many others, feel the same way. So just... be there. That's, really, all you can do in the end. Best wishes, Medina.

 

I think that your husband needs important changes in his life.

New things, new experiences, new feelings.

To come back to life, to feel passion for something again, to feel alive.

And of course, you, his wife, are the key here to accompany him in this proccess.

Why don't you two take up a different activity from what you're used to?

A different language, some sports, Thai food... There must be so many things I can't name them all.

These things should bring sparks to his life again.

This is just an idea which I think would tremendously work.

Just check it: when people feel down, they get a new haircut, change the style of their clothes,

take up yoga, visit new places... the feeling is great.

Perhaps also at these activities he could make new friends, share points of view...

I'm sure there are people in the same situation.

If we stay together, we can work everything out.

The best of luck, Caro.

 

I recommend trying new things with him and being understanding. Be sensitive to his adventurous plans if he has any and try to make sure you are both communicating with each other. He might be rethinking decisions he's made in the past. That can be alright but if it leads to him being distant I think you should have a talk with him. Give him enough space to figure things out on his own, but let him know you're there for him if he needs you. Remind him of his accomplishments when he's being pessimistic and that he has people that care for him. I don't have much experience with this subject, but i hope this helps. Love, Darem.

 

You must ask yourself, is anyone ever truly ready to grow up. We tend to cling to the lives we're familiar with, and it can happen in multiple stages of life. Midlife crisis is the most obvious stage where this occurs, because it's hard to think that it's time to settle down, when you aren't finished with being young and independent. While I'm certainly nowhere near midlife crisis, I experienced a similar situation when transitioning from my senior year of high-school to college, I just wasn't ready. I encourage you to support him, and his ideas, unless they become too extreme, and that's all you need to do. Your support can go a long way, especially now, where he'll come to the realization that it's time to settle down.

Best wishes, Bradley H.

 

My Dad suffered from a mid life crisis and to be honest we all tried so hard but ended up walking on egg shells which made the home a horrid place to live. In the end we had a family meeting and said we were trying to understand but if he didn't talk to us, we couldn't properly. He was in denial which didn't help any of us. We eventually just carried on around him and if he needed us, we were there for him but there wasn't really very much we could do. Tim.

 

I once lived with a man who got really depressed about getting old. He felt a failure. He wasn't great at communicating his feelings. I tried to help but nothing I did really worked. I'd suggest ways to make him happier like retraining for a new job. I even said I would keep the home running if he wanted to go and travel. I just wanted him to be happy. Sometimes it seemed to make a difference and I thought we were finding a way through but the next day he would always revert back to the dark place. It was very hard. I hate to be so selfish but in the end I couldn't cope with it as I was supporting him but there was nobody supporting me. I feel myself sinking down and I wasn't prepared to go there with him. I gave an ultimatum as he hadn't taken any offers of help from me so either, get professional help for the depression or leave. He called a counsellor and made an appointment but he couldn't go through with it. He left. He soon after moved in with a woman half my age and got her pregnant. I don't regret my decision. I am sorry to bring it down but I wanted to warn you. I know relationships are two people working together, but I felt alone and like I was the only one working at it. It was a lot of pressure. I guess what I am saying is make sure you look after your needs while supporting your husband - if you choose to continue doing that. I admire your strength. Dee.

 

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's dilemma. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy joining in, click to read this week's question, and send us your answer.

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March 26, 2012 - submitted by Gavin, United States of America

 

Q. Oracle,

 

I have the opportunity to study abroad next spring and am so excited as I have never been out of the USA before. (except a one day trip a few miles into Canada) I'm an English major and don't know any other languages, so I've narrowed it down to Scotland, Ireland, or England. Edinburgh, St. Andrews, and Cork, Ireland are at the top of my list. Wherever I go I'll be able to travel on a few weekends and spring break, but it's still a tough decision!

 

Opinion? Advice?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Ooh what a tough choice! I love Scotland and Ireland but if you forced my hand to choose one of those places to go and study, I would definitely pick Edinburgh. I know someone who is currently at St.Andrews and he loves it but yup, I'd pick the thriving capital.

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March 26, 2012 - submitted by Tyler, United States of America

 

Q. Hello Oracle!

Is the band's studio (The Beehive/Bakery) truly located in Northern London, particularly Camden Town area?

This past weekend I was in London for the first time and had a blast. Such an amazing city. I looked on the internet for pictures and locations of the studios, and I think that I found the right area.

Are you able to confirm that I was at the right place?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It's located in North London yes but not technically in Camden Town. From your description you were at the right place but the band wouldn't have been there though (they're not presently there either). Aw I hope you didn't spend too much time waiting when there are so many more fun things to do in London.

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March 26, 2012 - submitted by Kristin, United Kingdom

 

Q. Hey Oracle, is it wrong to go to a concert alone?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I have been to loads of concerts on my own. If you have nobody to go with you at least you will be in a place where everyone is there for the same thing and will have a great time with like minded folk.

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March 27, 2012 - submitted by Julia, Brazil

 

Q. Is the drawing of the butterfly from LeftRightLeftRightLeft original? If not, where does it come from?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Yes. If you've been lucky enough to attend one of the Viva shows and be even luckier to get yourself a confetti butterfly, you'll see that it is the same shape as the lrlrl logo.

In fact, taking luck one step further into the realms of luckiest, if you had a physical copy of the, if you put your confetti butterfly atop the logo butterfly, they are exactly the same size as well as shape.

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