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I am trying to give up smoking, here is me dairy of how its

bart

By bart
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bart

bart

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You will not die if you don't smoke, you will die if you don't eat

THIS WILL BE UPDATED EVERYDAY, apart from when I can not get access to a PC.

THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR THEIR POSITIVE AND UPLIFTING SUPPORT

- Day 1 September 10th 2003.

 

One day to go and I am giving up smoking. I have done a practice run today and I am going to try and get though the whole working day without smoking.

So far I have got pass a few pressure time, reference such as times when I would normally be smoking. This would be more out of habit than need.

 

1. When I first wake up.

2. When I have had a cup off coffee.

3. When I walking down to the bus stop

4. Whilst I am waiting for a bus.

5. When I get off the bus and walk to work.

6. When I get in work and go off for a smoke with a few workmates.

7. 1st Break ? I am yet to get to this .

 

Time elapsed since I last smoked 13.00 Hours.

I failed when it came to the 1st break, and completely failed at the end of the day. I brought another packet the reason was I bored for a few moments and suddenly felt vulnerable when I went home.

 

D Day September 11 2003.

 

Today is the day I have given up smoking, got some patches and information from the doctors. The information I got seems to concur what I have tried before and the same things when I tend to think. Keeping the journal seems to be a good idea. The patch I have put on has caused a mild irritation.

 

The day has now passed and I did get though it, I nearly got tempted when a mate called round. He was wanting me to put towards a weed. I did not have the money half heardtedly I tried to tempt him to get one in but he declined. I smoked the last remnants of a spliff what I had which was just a drag. I did not feel any different. I was worried about taking of the patch off.

 

D Day Plus 1 September 12 2003

 

I woke up this morning kinda of aching for a cig, but I did not have one and I did not put on me patch until. I was getting dressed after me bath. I have put the patch on me chest today, keep getting ,mild nicotine rushes feels like a buzz but at other times I do get a bit dizzy. All of the above temptation times have past. And I even went outside with a colleague who smoked a cigarette in front of me but I resisted the temptation. Richard was right it does not make you feel much better, but I need to look at the reasons I need to give up for Finical and health reasons, I may not even see the benefits for the next few weeks or even months as I am in so much debt.

But I need to remind myself If I would have given up smoking at the start of the year a holiday abroad would have been a option available to me. I would still have me X BOX and me Mini disc and I would not have a debt collectors chasing me or have had to borrow a loan of shark. I may have a women now.

UPDATE 2:30 PM the next hour is going to be really long. I have me lunch on now. I am going to be bored but I am taking the time by writing up this journal. And posting on me favourite web site.

UPDATE 4.30 PM I have manged to get though lunch, and I have manged to survive a few of the bizzare customers despite me temper getting on.

UPDATE 4.56 PM I have now been a call for the past 49 minutes advising a Mr customer on how to send and recive emails via his outlook express. This has been very testing. I am convinced now I can keep this up.

UPDATE 5.21 PM Got another twat on the line who needs to speak to another depatment. I need a cig.

UPDATE 5.45 PM I managed to pass my break without a break.

Continued this is proving to be very tuff in deed. I nearly took out one of my collages at work, giving up smoking is one of the tuffest things that I have undertaken. The patches make it easier but at times I think I am putting it on the wrong part of me body so it is not having that much of a effect.

 

I get home and put on a fresh one it seems to have a effect, I fall asleep contently I wake several times in the morning between 6 and 8 AM remembering all my dreams. It seemed like the film trainspooting these dreams were so vivid I do remember calling a mate who I thought was in the room at the time.

 

 

Saturday September 13th 2003 D + 3

Anyway with this newfound energy I have decided to take the Dog for a walk, this is the first time ever the Dog has been out during the day. Previously the DOD has never been out during the day and I have never really took it out at night I was worried on how the dog would behave around others he was fine.

 

I go to town and take back a CD and echange it for GOD PUT A SMILE UPON YOU FACE. BARGIN AT £4.00 considering it was only avable on import and I get to hear the “Murder” and a special treat of “politick live” Lips like sugar” is on there as well but I already on this. From another single that I have. “Don’t panic”

I also make up a tape for someone at work I am trying to convert them into coldplay. And the indie soul stuff on the other side. I have found myself listening to it though it’s a good tape. I hope they like it as much as I do.

 

Later on Adds and Martin come round with a drink and some weed. I make the mistake of having some but not much.

 

Sunday 14th September 14th D + 3

 

Today seemed to be the easier day apart from when it go to about 10.00 PM I had took of the patch for a few hours, I was getting increase irritable. I will have to book another appointment to go and see the Doctors. I watched a good film. “Run Lola run.”

 

Also Man City in winning in convincing style made the day a good one as well. City are going to do good things I was going to watch it around adnans house but I changed my mind as I knew he would be smoking and I may get tempted. Or a bit short with him he does not deserve that.

 

The dog has been taken out for a walk again, it did not take him long to learn when he gets let in around 11.30 AM he is going out for a walk. I get a rather nice compliment of a woman who takes a liking to me dog. Kind of weird, but nice.

 

D + 4 Semptember 15th 2003 Monday

I wake up this morning feel AOK. I book appointment to see the nurse at the Doctors luckily I got one for today as I have used one more patch than expected and I am going to run out halfway though the week. I see her and I am completely honest in how I am doing it seems to give everyone some satisfaction and I get another 2 weeks worth of patches./ that I am doing so well. I see Phillip for the first time in ages he seems AOK. He seems glad I am trying. The day passes I take the do the dog for a walk he now knows he is going for one, he could also be a good pulling tool I might meet some lady in the park taking their dog for a walk they are always good for breaking the ice and striking up a conservation.

 

Tuesday 16th September 16th 2003 D Day + 5

 

Updated at 1.00 PM So far it has been very tuff, the same person who was winding me up on Friday is doing it so. And it is also winding me up as it appears he is fucking about. I should not be botherd what others are up to. But it is unfair on others and he should be doing his Job and not trying to wind us up. But I guess it will make it easier as I can help me pass situations.

Updated at 1.00 PM So far it has been very tuff, the same person who was winding me up on Friday is doing it so. And it is also winding me up, as it appears he is fucking about. I should not be bothered what others are up to. But it is unfair on others and he should be doing his Job and not trying to wind us up. But I guess it will make it easier as I can help me pass situations.

 

UPDATE 3.17 PM

 

I have got though me lunch OK and without wanting to smoke. Gary said he is going to bring an inhaler in for me tomorrow. This may help it may not. Colin has suggested he may be coming around this evening I still don’t think I am 100 % to start smoking the Weed again as I still think the habit is inside of me, but the boredom. Will be my biggest, fear. When I miss out.

 

Wednesday 17th September 2003 D + 6

 

I now know I can face situations such as going to the Pub and having a social drink without smoking. Last night I met Colin in town he brought me a drink, looking at a packet of cigarettes whilst even drinking does not bother me. He asked me what its like giving up I told him its like when you fall in love with someone it is at the for front of ones mind and nothing else really matters. It almost strains you head thinking about it. I was not 100 % perfect though I got a splif of Paul and smoked it, Adnan came around and asked me how I was doing he told me there was not much wrong it. I know the real test is going to is when I get money in order to by weed, this something I can not do for a few months mostly by cost but also the danger of getting back in the habit.

 

I am finding myself though at times whilst I am giving up being really stressed I hope my friends and the people I work with understand. I have just finished an echanged of what could been seen as an Angry mail session with my Line Manager at work.

Update 13.18 I just got myself in a situation whears I would want to smoke a cigg. The mail I was going on about before I was trying to forward to someone on me team. I accendently replied to my team leader. And in it asking me mate in the mail to close it if he sees me team leader coming. I have tried to re call it. I got a successful report. However I still suspect he my have it I told him I could be trouble. I told him he is not impressed.

UPDATE 14.13 I have yet again managed to pass another session without smoking. My line manager has assured me he is not worried about it and he did not get the mail.

UPDATE 14.16 Due to the 13:16 Incident I have tried to get the afternoon off. I could not get it off.

 

14:50 I am going though a easy phase now so things are not so bad.

15.24 Another Break is coming up bordem is seldom I am tempted to have one. I have stuck me patch on me backside today hoping it would make me feel better. But this has not happened. Got a complete tool on the phone at the minute. Who seems to think that because his PC will not but shut down it is the companies fault.

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