Chris and Gwyneth announced their separation

[teernabh5]

I got over all this and now I see these pictures? It makes me go all emo again....It was a beautiful relationship. I wanted them to grow old together like Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. I hope both of them prize the time they spent with each other. Maybe one day when they are old they might want to be together again...:cry:

[Cobalt]

[/url]

 

Lovely photos, never seen them before.

 

[Jonny and the cake]

FIRST PAGE

GWYNETH THAT GEEK IS NOT RIGHT FOR YOU

The app that "whispers" all the cheating rumours, the venom tweets, the mail the warns not to talk. In the end, the divorce, also announced on the internet. Next to it some chicken recipes. Maybe Gwyneth should leave the internet life and come back to the movie life?

 

Because it's obvious that we'll never know the truth. Because it's obvious the the only truth about a failed marriage doesn't exist. Because in nature marriages without unexplained edges doesn't exist, I will confine myself to list the facts.

 

I'll start with the chicken

 

FRIDAY 28TH OF MARCH, Almost 72 hours after it told me that his founder, Gwyneth,, had slipt from her husband Chris Martin, the goop.com newsletter gave me three chicken recipes without throwing wasted food. At the bottom of the recipes a PS that said so: " CM and I are deeply grateful at the many people that are close to us" The signature was a <3, because that's how it's done on the internet world.

Now, pay attention, in this whole story the importance of the internet it's fundamental.

Not only the anounce of their separation come direcly from Gwyneth's website (website that for the first time in history crashed for too many views), not only the usual media (newspapers, tv bye bye) were ignored, but many of the crucial knots in this story are the result of the time we live and of all the technologies that we daily use.

 

Words are important.

 

GWYNETH AND CHRIS didn't write about a separation, they used the words "conscious uncoupling", Take note: in this century you don't break-up, you don't abandone your partner. You uncouple. The neologism it's not from Gwyneth. It's from the american terapist Katherine Woodwand Thomas, Her speciality are some online workshop of five weeks where she promises a good separation. The class costs 297 dollars and it's called Conscious uncoupling. While half of the world were coming to knownledge about Chris and Gwyneth, the dr, friends with doctor Habib Sedeghi, Gwyneth's holistic doctor and Goop consultant, was in a spa in Costa Rica. Contacted by the New York Times, she said she would have expected a quote in the announce and that when she comes back from her vacation she would solve the issue (sorry for all the tensens mistakes this translation is a train wreck). There will be a copyright war? Maybe not, because, actually, even Katherine Woodwand Thoman can't brag about the word conscius uncopling, because it was already used some online meeting app like Grinder and Tinder.

From anyone is that word, using it mad a fuss. It define something that was already in the air, also Monica Bellucci and Vincet Cassel (they both declared it to this newspaper) separated with love, and now there are even experts in divorce planning. One of them, Milena Stojkovic, has just published a book, called Allora ciao-Dviorziare senza farsi (troppo) male (De Agostini Editore).

Where there is a trend, there's a parody. In fact after few hours from the announce the web blew out with puns and jokes. The website http://www.slate.com even created a test in which, after writing your information, you would recieve a Goop-styled description of your relationship.

A laugh and some consolatory clic for us all, people less chic and forefront than Gwyneth, that have never counsciously uncoupled but, instead, have some embarassing "unconscously coupling", with people that now we don't want to meet, even on our twitter timeline.

 

Tell me you love me, and if you don't, lie to me.

 

BUT LET ME COME BACK ON GWYNETH AND CHRIS. No, this separation wasn't unexpected. That the wedding (celebrated in Mexico in 2003) was rough it wasn't new to us. Rumours in LA, rumours in London, the two cities where the couple lived with their two children (Apple and Moses, 9 and 7).

Rare the public apperances together and even more rare the photographic shoots of the couple: the one you see in this pages is rarier than a eskimo with a bikini. On the other hand while the speration was announced the two of them where in the Bahamas, a strategic escape so they could be untraceable and to keep the kids away from...

[Batman]

Lovely photos, never seen them before.

 

 

*stares at the gif*

 

 

 

 

I really shouldn't laugh as hard but damn

[Batman]

FIRST PAGE

GWYNETH THAT GEEK IS NOT RIGHT FOR YOU

The app that "whispers" all the cheating rumours, the venom tweets, the mail the warns not to talk. In the end, the divorce, also announced on the internet. Next to it some chicken recipes. Maybe Gwyneth should leave the internet life and come back to the movie life?

 

Because it's obvious that we'll never know the truth. Because it's obvious the the only truth about a failed marriage doesn't exist. Because in nature marriages without unexplained edges doesn't exist, I will confine myself to list the facts.

 

I'll start with the chicken

 

FRIDAY 28TH OF MARCH, Almost 72 hours after it told me that his founder, Gwyneth,, had slipt from her husband Chris Martin, the goop.com newsletter gave me three chicken recipes without throwing wasted food. At the bottom of the recipes a PS that said so: " CM and I are deeply grateful at the many people that are close to us" The signature was a <3, because that's how it's done on the internet world.

Now, pay attention, in this whole story the importance of the internet it's fundamental.

Not only the anounce of their separation come direcly from Gwyneth's website (website that for the first time in history crashed for too many views), not only the usual media (newspapers, tv bye bye) were ignored, but many of the crucial knots in this story are the result of the time we live and of all the technologies that we daily use.

 

Words are important.

 

GWYNETH AND CHRIS didn't write about a separation, they used the words "conscious uncoupling", Take note: in this century you don't break-up, you don't abandone your partner. You uncouple. The neologism it's not from Gwyneth. It's from the american terapist Katherine Woodwand Thomas, Her speciality are some online workshop of five weeks where she promises a good separation. The class costs 297 dollars and it's called Conscious uncoupling. While half of the world were coming to knownledge about Chris and Gwyneth, the dr, friends with doctor Habib Sedeghi, Gwyneth's holistic doctor and Goop consultant, was in a spa in Costa Rica. Contacted by the New York Times, she said she would have expected a quote in the announce and that when she comes back from her vacation she would solve the issue (sorry for all the tensens mistakes this translation is a train wreck). There will be a copyright war? Maybe not, because, actually, even Katherine Woodwand Thoman can't brag about the word conscius uncopling, because it was already used some online meeting app like Grinder and Tinder.

From anyone is that word, using it mad a fuss. It define something that was already in the air, also Monica Bellucci and Vincet Cassel (they both declared it to this newspaper) separated with love, and now there are even experts in divorce planning. One of them, Milena Stojkovic, has just published a book, called Allora ciao-Dviorziare senza farsi (troppo) male (De Agostini Editore).

Where there is a trend, there's a parody. In fact after few hours from the announce the web blew out with puns and jokes. The website www.slate.com even created a test in which, after writing your information, you would recieve a Goop-styled description of your relationship.

A laugh and some consolatory clic for us all, people less chic and forefront than Gwyneth, that have never counsciously uncoupled but, instead, have some embarassing "unconscously coupling", with people that now we don't want to meet, even on our twitter timeline.

 

Tell me you love me, and if you don't, lie to me.

 

BUT LET ME COME BACK ON GWYNETH AND CHRIS. No, this separation wasn't unexpected. That the wedding (celebrated in Mexico in 2003) was rough it wasn't new to us. Rumours in LA, rumours in London, the two cities where the couple lived with their two children (Apple and Moses, 9 and 7).

Rare the public apperances together and even more rare the photographic shoots of the couple: the one you see in this pages is rarier than a eskimo with a bikini. On the other hand while the speration was announced the two of them where in the Bahamas, a strategic escape so they could be untraceable and to keep the kids away from...

 

Thank you a lot for the translation! I think this article has a very peculiar writing style, something like a mixture of a tumblr shout-out of a teen girl, a personal blog and a plain newspaper. Really WEIRD mixture.

 

For example, what the hell is that?!:

 

the one you see in this pages is rarier than a eskimo with a bikini

[Jonny and the cake]

it's the italian humor, what can i say :lol: i'm gonna translate the second page in a few minutes

[Batman]

it's the italian humor, what can i say :lol:

I already suspected that haha :lol:

[joseki]

The usual piece of shit that we are used to read here.

[No1CPfan]

Can't you read between the lines? They are not leaving each other. Read it again and think about how much they want their lives private. This announcement is a F**k you to all the tabloids that always say they are breaking up. They just told you that although they are separating they will still be together as a family. The kids are the most important thing. We are closer than we ever were. Come on am I the only one who has figured this one out?? I thought us Coldplay fans held a higher level of intelligence.

[jc90]

Can't you read between the lines? They are not leaving each other. Read it again and think about how much they want their lives private. This announcement is a F**k you to all the tabloids that always say they are breaking up. They just told you that although they are separating they will still be together as a family. The kids are the most important thing. We are closer than we ever were. Come on am I the only one who has figured this one out?? I thought us Coldplay fans held a higher level of intelligence.

 

Yes, out of the nearly 100,000 members of Coldplaying, you are the only one who is smart, witty, cunning and intelligent enough to figure it out. All hail 'No1CPfan', for he/she is our saviour.

 

 

 

 

 

/sarcasm

 

 

I don't know where you've been but why don't you follow your own advice and "read it again" (the thread, that is). You'll find that a good portion of users are actually calling out the tabloids for spewing nonsense. Sorry about the mild freakout, but people who start their sentences with 'am I the only one' irk me. I mean, that's about as self-centred a way to start a sentence as there is.

[coldplaymom]

it's the italian humor, what can i say :lol: i'm gonna translate the second page in a few minutes

 

Still waiting:)

[Jonny and the cake]

sorry guys i had to go to the shopping centre with my mother because on friday it's my 18th birthday :mad: okay i'll start right now

[coldplaymom]

sorry guys i had to go to the shopping centre with my mother because on friday it's my 18th birthday :mad: okay i'll start right now

 

TY & Happy Birthday:)

 

Oh boy am old! lol

[Jonny and the cake]

SECOND PAGE

...paparazzi and curious people, at least until all the fuss is gone. Until some other celebrity will take their spot on the news and covers.

During their relationship, Martin and Paltrow have never been a red carpet couple, like Brad and Angelina, if you know what i mean. Also they sneak into the last Golden Globe, so they could avoid all the interaction with the press, and a couple of weeks ago there was a live presentation of the new Coldplay abum, Ghost Stories, out on the 19th of may, along with the guest there was Gwyneth, but they barely touched eachother and didn't share a word. The lyrics from the news songs say a lot, if not everything: The album tells a story about a failed relationship. One of the sonfs, True Love says: Say That You Love Me, If You Don't, Lie To Me. In short, Chris Martin, Coldplay's frontman, that sold 70 milions of copies worldwide, didn't take that, that well.

 

The legend of the evil Gwyneth

 

PERSONALLY I ALWAYS FELT sympathy towards Gwyneth. Once, at the Vanity Fair America Party during the night of the Oscars, we were introduced by Madonna (surreal, I know). When I told her that we already met a couple of times for some interviews, with impeccable curtesy replied telling me that she remembered perfectly who i was. Problably that wasn't the truth, but she started chatting with me about some movies of the time with such acumen. Since then I'm convinced that Gwyneth can stay in this world better then some celebrities less famous than her and more arrongant.

I don't get why other women feel bothered by her, but I acknowledge the reputation that precedes her, and it started a lond time ago. In June of 1997 Brad Pitt and Gwyeth Paltrow, at the time the most beautiful couple of the world, announced their separation. The motivation was never published, but in an interview Brad Pitt dropped an embittered "she knows perfectly why it ended", let us knowing that it had to do with something Gwyneth was guilty of. According to the rumours there's no doubt that the girl has a hellish personality, like a flawed and temperamental princess, used to get all she wants when she wants it. Like a tank for the other people sentiments, dressed as Grace Kelly (Grace Kelly was said to have the same personality). Even after the relationship with Ben Affleck, all the rumours about Gwyneths' infedelity continued.

Let alone that this image of her wouldn't accompanied her throughout her 11 years of marriage with Chris Martin. Especially it was rumoured that she had an affair with the billionaire Jeffrey Soffer, husband of australian top model Elle Macpherson and vis-a-vis of Paltrow-Martin London house.

There were rumours from an app dedicated to anonymous rumours called Whisper, about Kevin Yorn, lawyer also richthat workds behing the scenes of the discographic world. Both rumours were denied with too force and wealth of details (too wealth?) from Gwyneth's PR "Jeffrey? A friend. It's quite normal that they meet frequently. Kevin? They know each other for work reasons and if they spent time together it was so because they were on the same flight. Gwyneth wasn't alone, her assistant and the administrator of Goop were with her "

 

 

This is the part in the rectangle:

TOO FAIR, ALMOST UNFORGIVABLE from EFEF

She can even cook well, it's obvious that Gwyneth's envied: she has everything. I saw her in Portofino, on a boat with Valentino, then in Cannes, being a Tad's testimonial in Dennis Hopper's short movie. She's fit, she can wear with elegance every dress, she has a really good voice, good manners, kindness. She was already rich before being famous and winning an Oscar, she has been with the most wanted men starting with Brad Pitt, but there's zero arrogance in the way she exposes her advices on goop.com. I saw her in action as a mom, with Apple and Moses she was there for her kids, spontaneus. Even with her divorce she can be envied, with Chris Martin, intead of throwing stuff at each other and calling in the lawyers, they went on a vacation with their kids, because they care about keeping in touch, and not to throw away all the love that remains, Need anything else? Oh, yes, when she was ill, a miscarriage, post childbirth depression, she had the courage to speak about it. She's simply unforgivable, for whom lives gnawing.

[Jonny and the cake]

THIRD PAGE

 

Seeing a girl's boob and going to hell

 

WE KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT GWYNETH. Famous parent (register Bruce Paltrow, actress Blythe Danner), her debut on set with a friends of her father (Steven Spielberg). And then, thanks to goop and cooking books we know her diet, her good manner (yoga and exercise) , her interest with the Kabbalah and her famous friends, from Stella McCartney to Madonna.

We know a lot less about Chris, first of five children, ordinary family from the english countryside, his dad is an accountant and his mom teaches music. The only famous person in his faimily is his great great grandfather William Willet, a property developer that became famous after creating the daylight saving. The little Martin lived in a religious setting, like he said in a interview to Rolling Stone in 2008 "What I grew up with was, if you even think about boobs, you're going to hell. It was drilled in: These things are wrong. It was black and white, the way it still is for millions of right-wing Christians in the middle of America. I spent a year thinking I would be punished if I sang "Sympathy for the Devil". What happen when a geek becomes a rockstar? Another guy, maybe, would vent everything on groupies after a groupies. Chris, at least in words, has said that he fell in love once, with Gwyneth, his muse for pignant songs, on of them all is Fix You, written when she was sorrowing for her father's death. But with the reality of fact there's only been a discrepancy, three years ago in a U2's concert backstage Chris Martin was seen holding hands with Kate Bosworth.

 

The Vanity Fair Affair

 

A year ago, after the weekly People crowned Gwyneth as The world's most beautiful woamn and Star Magazine put her, instead, on the top of the list of the most hated celebrities of the world, Vanity Fair's director Graydon Carte commissioned an investigation to the journalist Vanessa Grigoriadis. She begins the investigation, she encounters with all the controversy on the social network where all the hate takes form of a tweet but she encounters with rumours about her marriage with Chris is about to explode (NDR from jonny and the cake, see what i did here :lol: ) she cheats on him with a married man. It comes to knownledge that Gwyneth is not happy with all the interest from Vanity Fair, with a really not so zen attitude (from her it was unexpected) she sents an email to some of her colleagues where she tells them to not to take part of Grigoriadis's investigation, but Vanity Fair keeps going.

Almost a year after, a month ago, Graydon Carter announces that the feared article (for now) won't come out, basically he gives up. Not because of Gwyneth's threats, but because "it's too difficult to manage a monthly newspaper with internet", he writes "all the secrecy of a investigation where all the elements are still developing falls down. This issue with Gwyneth got out of hand"

Carter admits he talked with the actress on the phone and that he said, joking, that if she wanted to gain the sympathy of the public she should gain some weight. So she can be more human, less unreachable and perfect.

 

What now?

The matter is that Gwyneth it's not that perfect, she won an Oscar in 1999 with Shakespeare in Love, since that her carreer struggled with some obstacles, the box office wasn't a friend of her, she went away from Hollywood so she could live in London with husband and kids, she gained something with roles such as Iron Man's girlfriend, without even being taken seriously as a interpreter.

In 2010 she tried to stick out from her image of Miss Perfect with Country Song, where she acted far away from her real personality or her public image: an alcoholic and rude singer. But it didn't work.

I, at this point, could have an idea, leave all the recipes about chicken, try again with the movie world, Gwyneth. We are waiting for you.

[coldplaymom]

TYVM for the translation

[Lobabe]

I think they've tried sorta an open relationship for the past few years. They're probably still in love with each other. As much as anyone who's been together for as long as they have been.

But breaking up as a celebrity is different. There's less self-esteem issues, mainly. Both are beautiful, talented, well taken care of people who get much love from many people.

I think they probably will continue to act as a family unit but they're going to have their cake and eat it too.

[jc90]

ZOMG it was Zhang Ziyi who broke them up !!!1111eleventeen1

 

check Magic MV

 

/sarcasm

[Cobalt]

Yes, out of the nearly 100,000 members of Coldplaying, you are the only one who is smart, witty, cunning and intelligent enough to figure it out. All hail 'No1CPfan', for he/she is our saviour.

 

 

 

 

 

/sarcasm

 

 

I don't know where you've been but why don't you follow your own advice and "read it again" (the thread, that is). You'll find that a good portion of users are actually calling out the tabloids for spewing nonsense. Sorry about the mild freakout, but people who start their sentences with 'am I the only one' irk me. I mean, that's about as self-centred a way to start a sentence as there is.

 

what a fully ill burn

[nancyk58]

Thanks for the translation and best wishes for a wonderful birthday on Friday.

[grids]

Feel so sad about their separation. Didnt see that coming though. Hope everything they do will work out the best.

[KatePT]

Thank you so much for the translation! :)

 

Have a great day on friday :D

[golfing7861]

smh :angry:

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/05/01/gwyneth-paltrow-chris-martin_n_5248191.html

 

"Gwyneth Paltrow Fears Chris Martin Might 'Let Something Big Slip' During Coldplay Interviews"

[A RUSH OF VIDA]

Well in the BBC interview imo he is basically saying its hes fault and thats she amazing and wonderfall.

smh :angry:

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/05/01/gwyneth-paltrow-chris-martin_n_5248191.html

 

"Gwyneth Paltrow Fears Chris Martin Might 'Let Something Big Slip' During Coldplay Interviews"

[the_escapist]

Well in the BBC interview imo he is basically saying its hes fault and thats she amazing and wonderfall.

 

That's right!