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Your favourite Simpsons quotes

Sweet One

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This show has fantastic dialogue!! hahaha.... what are your faves?? My favourite is:


Homer: So, how was everyone's day?


Marge: Terrible, it took the children 40 minutes to locate Canada.


Homer: Oh Marge, it's easy to lose track of Canada- all tucked away down there!


...or something to that extent...


Now, it's your turn! :)

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Great thread! I love this show.


These are some of my favorites:


(Homer eating peanuts, one drops under the sofa. Homer tries to find it)

"Eeewww, slimy....owww, pointy....AHHHH!!!, moving!! Awww, twenty dollars."

Homer's brain - "Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts"

"Explain how!"

"Money can be exchanged for goods and sevices" - Homer's brain



Homer watching a meteor shower: "I wish God were alive to see this."


"You suck-diddly-uck Flanders"---Homer.



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Here are some more of my favourite:


[Apu is shot.]

Apu: Ah! The searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.



Bart: Milhouse, what happened?! You were supposed to be watching the factory!

Milhouse: I was watchin'. First it started to fall over, then it fell over.



[Praying heavenward]

Homer: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!



Kent Brockman: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: democracy just doesn't work!



Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?

Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man...

[laughs hysterically]

Homer: So to answer your question, I don't know.



Billy Corgan: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.

Homer: Homer Simpson, smiling politely.



Lou: I went to the McDonalds over in Shelbyville the other day.

Chief Wiggum: The Mc-what?

Lou: Yeah, I never heard of it either but they say they have over 2000 locations in this state alone.

Eddie: Hmm...Must've sprung up over night.

Lou: But you know, its the little differences.

Chief Wiggum: Example?

Lou: Well at a McDonalds you can get a Krusty Burger with cheese. But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.

Chief Wiggum: Get out! What do they call it?

Lou: A quarter pounder with cheese.

Chief Wiggum: Quarter pounder with cheese...well I can see the cheese but? Hey, do they have Krusty's Partially Gelatinated Gum-Based beverages?

Lou: Yeah, they call them 'shakes.'

Eddie: *Pfft* 'Shakes.' You don't know what you're gettin'.


And i know that there's more that i'll come across later..hahaha :lol:

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OH, another one!!


[Homer has been thrown out of an all-you-can-eat restaurant for eating too much.]

Lionel Hutz: This is the most blatant case of false advertising since my suit against the movie The Neverending Story!

Homer: So, do you think I have a case?

Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I don't use the word 'hero' lightly, but you are the greatest hero in American history.

Homer: Woohoo!


:lol: :lol: :lol:

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this one is my favorite off the top of my head:


Kent Brockman: "Big game fever is reaching a fevered pitch as the fevered rivalrly between Springfield U. and Springfield A & M spreads like wild-fever. You call this writing?"

Writer: "I'm sorry, Uncle Kent. I lost my thesaurus."

Kent: "You'll lose more than your thesaurus... in additional news, Springfield Stadium has caught additional seating capacity fever. ERGH!"

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Alrighty!! Some more!!


[George Washington appears in Lisa's dream, urging her to reveal the truth about the town's founder. Lisa wakes up yelling:]

Lisa: I want to help you, George Washington!

Bart: [walking by her room] "I want to help you... George Washington"? Man, even your dreams are square.



Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."



Lisa: I'm studying for the math fair. If I win, I'll get a brand new protractor.

Homer: Too bad we don't live on a farm.



Homer: God is teasing me! Just like he teased Moses in the desert!

Marge: *Tested,* Homer. God *tested* Moses.



Principal Skinner: Children, I couldn't help monitoring you conversation. There's no mystery about Willy. Why, he simply disappeared. Now, let's have no more curiosity about this bizarre cover-up.



Grampa Simpson: Welcome home, son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. What's wrong with your wife?

Homer: Never mind, you wouldn't understand.

Grampa Simpson: Flu?

Homer: No.

Grampa Simpson: Protein deficiency?

Homer: No.

Grampa Simpson: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?

Homer: No.

Grampa Simpson: Unsatisfying sex life?

Homer: N -- yes. But please, don't you say that word!

Grampa Simpson: What, seeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had seeeeex.



Homer: I don't have to be careful! I have a gun!



Marge: I think we're going to need a bigger place.

Homer: No, we don't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's room and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.

Marge: Won't that warp him?

Homer: My cousin Frank did it.

Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.

Homer: He became Francine in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.

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LOL :lol: great thread.


Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!


and another one...


(Homer graduated from Krusty Clown College and is impersonating Krusty at Milhouse's brithday party)

Homer: and here's your giraffe little girl..

Ralph: i'm a boy

Homer: that's the spirit. never give up.


(the episode where bart wins an elephant from a radio station and later escapes with the elephant to this park with all these fake statues of animals..so, homer and gang minus bart goes looking for bart n elephant in the park and homer hits a fake deer..)

Homer: D'oh!

Lisa: A deer...

Marge: A female deer...

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haha speaking of the Stampy episode:


bart stands outside radio station yelling "i want my elephant" over and over. grampa and the old guy with the beard (i think his name is jasper) are listening to the radio at the retirement castle

Japser: "They're playing the elephant song again."

Grampa: "Reminds me of elephants."


haha i also like how Arnie Pie in the Sky has become a really bitter, angry, person in the recent years. i can't think of any quotes off the top of my head though.

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hehe, I love this episode...

the episode where homer and marge go to parent teacher conferences...


when they are leaving...

Marge: Now be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.

Lisa: What are we gonna have?

Homer: Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison.

Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?

Bart: Poison pizza.

Homer: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!

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(springfield is being looted during a power outage)


Kent Brockman: "Arnie, I think what the people watching really want to know is, is my house ok?"

Arnie Pie in the Sky: "Oh, Kent, you mean your MANSION?!"

Kent: "Don't hate me because I bought at the right time, Arnie."

Arnie: "When's my right time, Kent? WHEN'S MY RIGHT TIME?!"


there, that's my example of Arnie the bitter angry reporter. it was on tonight.

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Some more for you!!


[bachman Turner Overdrive is playing at a county fair.]

Bart: Who are those pleasant old men?

Homer: It's BTO! They're Canada's answer to ELP. Their big hit was TCB!

[bart stares at Homer]

Homer: That's how we talked in the '70s. We didn't have a moment to spare.

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lol. there's millions of them out there :more...


I wonder where Bart is, his dinner's getting all cold ...... and eaten.


It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.


It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day. :lol:


Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England.


Homer : Marge, where's that ... metal deely ... you use to ... dig ... food...

Marge : You mean, a spoon?

Homer : Yeah, yeah!



wooo :lol:

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I like:


Homer in his mind, having a dream sequence, he's sitting round a table at a society ball: "I declare that to be the most whimsical joke of the season!"


i've used that soo many times, never gets old :)


Homer joins the NRA: "I dont need to be careful, I have a gun"


The comic book guy! 1 of my fave characters: "So how do you feel about 40- somethings who live in their mothers basement?..Dont try and change me baby" :D

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There's this foreign kid, he's in Lisa's class I think.. anyway, he finds out he failed English:

Kid: Me? Fail English?! That's unpossible!


Oh and when Bart gets into trouble with Australia for making a collect call or something..

Marge: So all Bart needs to do is apologize and everything;s ok?

Ambasaddor: Yes.

Bart: I could handle that- I'm good with fake apologies!

Marge: Bart!

Bart: I'm sorry..........

Marge: That's better.

Bart: *evil laughter*

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