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Your favourite Simpsons quotes

Sweet One

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my fav is one of the halloween specials 'time and punishment' where homer makes a time machine out of a toaster.


homer: "ahhh, what a beautiful morning, i have a feeling today is going to be a good day!"


homer: "AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH" flails around for a while and finally flings the toaster off his hand across the room, then sits on the floor next to the fridge and rests



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more funny quotes that kill me....lol..


Homer: How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy that gives those sermons in church? Captain What's-his-name. We live in a society of laws, why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing! Did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Vroom! Beep! Honk! Honk! Ha-ha. Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze!


you know which one i can't remember well, it's from the halloween special, where marge is a witch, and at the end of the scene, homer is throwing eggs at the house in his genie costume, and says "come out we know your home, give us candy .. ( or somethin to that effect) .. and lisa goes "dad that's our house", town laughs... and homer screams, "get her! she's a witch!" .. lol... that was funny!!

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homer: bart! I can't find the remote I looked all over the house!

bart: did you check your pocket?!

(homer pulls the remote out of his pocket)


ralph: I found a moon rock in my nose....


ralph: my cats breath smells like cat food


(homer talking to his football team)

homer: okay now here comes the hard part... the cuts. I only cut....you....you...you and....you.

(Everyone else sighs in relief)

homer: Okay now everyone can hit the showers. Except for you steven....your cut.

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From the episode where Homer uses marijuana for medical purposes:


Marge: "Homer, I'm starting to get worried...."

Homer: "No need Marge, thanks to yes-I-cannabis I just got a promotion at work. WHOA! We have a kitchen!"

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One of my Favourites: (Homer and Bart is putting glaze on one of the sofa-pillows)

Marge; Why are you putting glaze on the sofa-pillow?

Homer; Hm... I Could ask you the same thing!

Marge; I think I'll leave you two alone...


(..or something like that. I don't remember exactly..)

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Homer finds some extra cash (in his pocket if i remember right) then says: Marge, send the kids to the neighbors, i'm coming home loaded! :lol:



Homer heckling Ned from the bleachers: Flaaaaaaaderrrrs..Flaaaaaaanderrrs..


Millhouse naming himself Thrillhouse on some video game score list was pretty funny :)


"The Foreign Kid" btw, is Uter, the German Exchange Student!

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The Comic Book guy yea, hahahaha, I always laugh when they show the outside of his shop and the name of his store "The Android Dungeon!" hahaha


anyways. I heard this line yesterday, and I was cracking up.

Grandpa Simpson "But son, the Simpson name is my legacy to you, I got it from my father, and he got it from hit father, and his father got it when he traded a mule for it. And that mule went on to win back Spring Break!" ahahhahahahah

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More from Comic Book Guy!: "What's you're name?...Homer?...well excuse me "Homer," is you're name James Cameron or Ridley Scott?? No, it isn't.. so please kindly step away from my screenplay, thank you"



"Since my breakfast burrito is rapidly congealing, i'll be blunt, i no longer have that item in question, bart simpson"

















VIVA Comic Book Guy!

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Bart: Homer do you wear boxers or briefs?

*Homer looks down*

Homer: Nope!


Witness protection guy: Ok Homer, when I nod my head and tap your leg and say Hell Mr Thompson, you say hello back. OK?

Homer: OK

WPG: *nods head, taps leg* Hello Mr thompson

*Homer sits still*

*long pause*

*Homer looks to the other guy and says*

Homer: I think he's talking to you.




Scully: Homer this is a lie detector, it can detect when you lie. Do you understand?

Homer: yes

*lie detector goes boom*



Mo: Barney show them the exit

Barney: Theres a what now?

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