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Guy talk *girls enter at your own risk*


Manders

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How much space do guys really need for their balls on the seats

 

This is an important question

 

Indeed.

 

Well I suppose that would depend on several variables. One would be on the size of the guy. Like a morbidly obese guy would have a large gut, which would then naturally spill down towards the crotch area, thus suffocating and increasing the heat and sweatiness within the ball region and would thus require a large amount of space on a seat in order to regulate or 'air out' the balls in an attempt to stop it overheating. Juxtapose this with a skinny guy who may need relatively less space for his balls on a seat because he will not need to regulate the temperature of the groin.

 

Next is mother nature. Fact is, some guys are just born with humongous Diplodocus-sized testicles, which if we look at evolution theory, may give them some kind of survival advantage over the rest of us. But with great balls comes great responsibility. To ensure the future of the human race, these guys also need temperature regulation, as well as avoiding the awful feeling of having your balls sticking to your leg, like some chameleon tongue latching onto your leg as though it were reeling in its prey.

 

Along with this, the age of a guy will also have a bearing on the space that is needed. When young, the balls are fine, firm and proud. When entering old age, the balls are most likely to slack, sloop and fall victim to gravity. You may often wonder when you see old men constantly adjust and pull up their trousers. This is widely known to be a defence mechanism to stop their testicles from making a break out of their trouser leg. Of course medical technology is slowly but surely working its way towards finding a cure for this curse, but like everything else this will take time. Older men will need extra leg room as they learn to come to terms with their situation, so always remember to give them your seat on the bus.

 

Again in this category, should the male be sporting a boner/woody/stiffie/captain fishbone then the chances of him needing extra leg and ball space are high, in order to tackle the swelling before him. As most remedies to alleviating this ailment are illegal on public transportation, the male will need to assume a position that will allow nature to take his excitement from him and provide his balls with the necessary breathing space with which to allow everything to go back to normal.

 

Next there is the social dimension. In some peer groups, as well as the many mysterious tribes dotted around the world, there is an inherent manliness attached to having large cojones. For an example of this in action, please refer to the South Park episode: 'Medicinal Fried Chicken' whereby Randy obtains a higher social standing (as well as increased sex appeal) because he has gigantic balls. In relation to what I am explaining, sometimes guys may pretend they need more space than they actually do because they see this as extending a non-verbal signal of male dominance and superiority over their audience. If they are sitting with a woman, they may use it to indicate that they are clearly a fine male specimen and that mating with them will result in many healthy, attractive, big-balled children. It becomes a part of the courtship ritual. If they are sitting with another man, this may be a way of asserting dominance or establishing themselves as the alpha male.

 

The weather and the time of year will also have a bearing. Hot, stuffy summers- WATCH OUT! Rain, sleet and snow - WATCH OUT! Wind, cloud and everything else - WATCH OUT! All times where ball space will have to be optimised to the max in order to combat wear and tear.

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Its a very hot time here, 30c+ (don't laugh non Brits, that's a heatwave over here :P). I was on a 40c+ bus earlier, using the 'I need to stand up otherwise I cant get my phone out of my pocket' trick.

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Indeed.

 

Well I suppose that would depend on several variables. One would be on the size of the guy. Like a morbidly obese guy would have a large gut, which would then naturally spill down towards the crotch area, thus suffocating and increasing the heat and sweatiness within the ball region and would thus require a large amount of space on a seat in order to regulate or 'air out' the balls in an attempt to stop it overheating. Juxtapose this with a skinny guy who may need relatively less space for his balls on a seat because he will not need to regulate the temperature of the groin.

 

Next is mother nature. Fact is, some guys are just born with humongous Diplodocus-sized testicles, which if we look at evolution theory, may give them some kind of survival advantage over the rest of us. But with great balls comes great responsibility. To ensure the future of the human race, these guys also need temperature regulation, as well as avoiding the awful feeling of having your balls sticking to your leg, like some chameleon tongue latching onto your leg as though it were reeling in its prey.

 

Along with this, the age of a guy will also have a bearing on the space that is needed. When young, the balls are fine, firm and proud. When entering old age, the balls are most likely to slack, sloop and fall victim to gravity. You may often wonder when you see old men constantly adjust and pull up their trousers. This is widely known to be a defence mechanism to stop their testicles from making a break out of their trouser leg. Of course medical technology is slowly but surely working its way towards finding a cure for this curse, but like everything else this will take time. Older men will need extra leg room as they learn to come to terms with their situation, so always remember to give them your seat on the bus.

 

Again in this category, should the male be sporting a boner/woody/stiffie/captain fishbone then the chances of him needing extra leg and ball space are high, in order to tackle the swelling before him. As most remedies to alleviating this ailment are illegal on public transportation, the male will need to assume a position that will allow nature to take his excitement from him and provide his balls with the necessary breathing space with which to allow everything to go back to normal.

 

Next there is the social dimension. In some peer groups, as well as the many mysterious tribes dotted around the world, there is an inherent manliness attached to having large cojones. For an example of this in action, please refer to the South Park episode: 'Medicinal Fried Chicken' whereby Randy obtains a higher social standing (as well as increased sex appeal) because he has gigantic balls. In relation to what I am explaining, sometimes guys may pretend they need more space than they actually do because they see this as extending a non-verbal signal of male dominance and superiority over their audience. If they are sitting with a woman, they may use it to indicate that they are clearly a fine male specimen and that mating with them will result in many healthy, attractive, big-balled children. It becomes a part of the courtship ritual. If they are sitting with another man, this may be a way of asserting dominance or establishing themselves as the alpha male.

 

The weather and the time of year will also have a bearing. Hot, stuffy summers- WATCH OUT! Rain, sleet and snow - WATCH OUT! Wind, cloud and everything else - WATCH OUT! All times where ball space will have to be optimised to the max in order to combat wear and tear.

 

how do you even exist

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The worst is when your balls are stuck to your legs and you're in public. You just can't make your hands do the rearranging; you have to slowly spread your legs and make subtle movements which aren't always as successful as one would expect

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:disappointed: I was just trying to bring some colour and creativity to the Lounge.

 

My statement wasn't meant to sound rude, if that was the case.

I admire your randomness, I was just baffled by the scale of it! :laugh3:

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The testicle hate runs deep, being even pointed towards to the self.

 

But not that deep that we feel the needs to bang a few nails through it, or have a woman in high heels stand on it, like some of our more err, different male counterparts on the internet.

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