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October 21, 2011 - submitted by Chance, United States of America

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION - #43

 

So I have to decide between 2 girls, (we'll call them Sarah and Melissa) I have liked Sarah for 5 years, we dated for a while but we broke up. I met Melissa a few weeks ago, and we've been talking and then when I'm about to ask Melissa to be my girlfriend, Sarah calls me and basically confesses that she made a mistake letting me go and wants me back, forever. Going back to Sarah could be a risk because I could get hurt again, but she thinks I'm the one for her. And I don't know how to decide who I should pick. please help me Oracle.

Chance.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Hmmm, there seems to be a lot of talk about what Sarah wants. What about what YOU want? You know what you don't want in terms of not getting hurt again but there's no guarantees against that happening in any relationship. It's not necessarily a reason to avoid a relationship. How did you feel about Sarah before she dropped this bombshell? You seemed to be happy with Melissa, happy enough you were going to ask her to be your girlfriend. 5 years is a long time to like someone, but it didn't work out. Maybe she has made a mistake but it doesn't mean you have to give her another chance. If you really don't have any strong pull to one over the other, perhaps you should stay on your own for the time being. If either girl is indeed the one for you, a little time to think things through shouldn't hurt. Try not to confuse yourself by being with them both in some way - you don't need an added complication. As you may know by now, I am usually quite cynical so shall leave you with this thought: Sarah may have heard about Melissa and that's why she's doing a u-turn so do tread carefully. Over to you.

 

Chance there has to be a reason that you and Sarah broke up.I strongly suggest that you consider that reason as you try to decide between the girls. Is it a problem that was only relevant to the time, or was it something that just isn't ever going to change? If it's not going to change, you should probably move on and spend your time with Melissa. That said, make sure you carefully weigh what you like about each girl and why you like them before you decide! Good luck! Lexi.

 

Although it sounds like you and Sarah had something great for a while, in the end it obviously wasn't enough for her. I know that taking that leap with someone new can be scary and the fact that you were moving on that path with Melissa shows that you have moved on and are ready for change. I understand that need for familiarity, but just because Sarah is what's familiar to you is not a good enough reason to be with her. Someone always gets hurt, and there's nothing you can do to stop that. I encourage you to not let your past affect your future. Good luck! Kew.

Idea #1. This may sound mundane, but take a two-sided coin. Heads = Sarah, Tails = Melissa. Now flip it. Whatever comes up, are you happy with what it says, or do you want to flip it again? If you want to flip it again, something is telling you that you want the other option/woman.

Idea/Suggestion #2. People always learn from hind-sight. What she says could be true (that you're "the one"), or maybe she's been out there in the world and can't find someone else. Maybe she just doesn't want to be alone and wants to get back with you. Maybe the other guys are jerks, or she can't get the one she really wants, so she'll settle for you. Remember, since she left YOU, so maybe she's banking on you still being hung up on her. But now you've seen this other side of her, and how she made you feel. It also looks like you're starting to move on. Personally, I would take my chance with Melissa. It sounds like you could have a good thing going. Why move backwards when you can go forwards? You had made a decision to commit to a girl, so go with it. Give it a shot, and tell Sarah about it, ask her to respect your decision. Maybe you'll learn something else from this relationship with Melissa.

Relationships and love are always a risk. In my experience, after being with someone that dumped you and getting back together, things are never the same, and sometimes there is irreparable damage. You have no reason to not trust Melissa, but you have reason to not trust Sarah. Trust is HUGE, if not THE thing that makes or breaks a relationship. Take a chance. Move forward, and ask out Melissa. Good luck. Lauren.

 

You should never let anyone pressure you into deciding who you want to be in a relationship with. You mentioned Sarah confessed that she thinks you're the one for her, and that she wants you back for good. The more important question you should ask yourself is, is she the one for you? Sarah knows she made a mistake, but it's important you know that you shouldn't wait around for her to make up her mind. I don't like to take sides, but Sarah had her chance (no pun intended) and missed it. That being said, I would advise you to base your decision by determining which girl you feel a stronger connection with, be it Sarah or Melissa. Since you were about to ask Melissa to be your girlfriend, I would give her more consideration. Hope this helped! Blake.

 

I know what you mean. I've been in this kind of problem before myself. They both sound like great girls to me, but I'm not sure how they really are. Based on what you say, if I were in your shoes, and if I HAD to pick, I would go with Sarah. I think to have a strong relationship one has to have a strong foundation with the partner before they start to go out. However, I think the better choice would be to really look in your heart, evaluate what YOU want in a girl, and apply those ideals. Also, take into consideration that Sarah sincerely wants you back. If you really love her as much as it sounds that she loves you, then go for her. But that's for you to decide. At the end of the day, basically, you want to chose what makes you happy. I hope all works out for you, and that you find happiness. Good luck man. Brendan.

 

I think "Melissa" needs to be your main priority. She deserves a fair chance and your attention. "Sarah" had her chance and she blew it. Maybe if things don't work out with Melissa, then give Sarah another shot but for now, eyes on the prize. Jesse.

 

Relationships aren't always easy but once such a big step, like breaking up is done you can't take it back. However maybe some people need to see what they have lost to realize what they need, but you have to decide for yourself if you want to and can forgive your (ex)girlfriend or if you want to have a new beginning. No matter which choose you make, if you are sure about your feelings it will be the right decision. Love, Adriana.

 

What a predicament! You've liked Sarah a long time, and you two gave it a go. It didn't work out, you've sort of moved on, and you're exploring new relationships. That's great! You seem young, and forever is a mighty long time! I'm wondering if Sarah proclaimed her undying love for you, knowing your intention to ask out Melissa? Is this the case? If so, I think she's playing you - it sounds like a case of release him but keep him on the line. That's no good. I say get out of there quick and ask out someone who's not going to play games - honestly, just because you're young doesn't mean you've all the time in the world to get strung along, right? Good luck and take care! Aimee.

 

Thank you all for your replies. Click to read this week's Team Oracle question, and send us your answer.

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October 24, 2011 - submitted by Laurie, Canada

 

Q. Hi Oracle, How are the boys today? Are they quite nervous about the release?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

To be honest, they've been a bit busy. Chris arrived in the UK this morning and went straight to meet Jonny & Guy at the Q Awards where he presented Gary Barlow with the Classic Songwriter award and they collectively picked up the Best Act In the World Right Now award.

Phil tweeted this morning that it's a relief for the album to finally be out there and I'd wager the band agree.

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October 24, 2011 - submitted by Ana, Spain

 

Q. Would you cancel your concert in Madrid if it rains? Rain is predicted for Wednesday

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Spanish rain eh? No, concerts don't get cancelled for rain.

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October 24, 2011 - submitted by Carly, Australia

 

Q. On the Mylo album it's mentioned that Davide Rossi did all strings so what did Jon and Guy play? Mylo rocks because it's full of guitar shame Coldplay lacked imput :-( I'm so cut up I love Coldplay.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

In this context, strings refers to violins & cellos etc. As is usual, Jonny played guitar and Guy played bass. Davide is in charge of non-guitar string instruments.

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October 24, 2011 - submitted by Laurie, Canada

 

Q. Hi Oracle, How are the boys today? Are they quite nervous about the release?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

To be honest, they've been a bit busy. Chris arrived in the UK this morning and went straight to meet Jonny & Guy at the Q Awards where he presented Gary Barlow with the Classic Songwriter award and they collectively picked up the Best Act In the World Right Now award.

Phil tweeted this morning that it's a relief for the album to finally be out there and I'd wager the band agree.

 

And what about Will?

 

Will, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

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Can I just say,

 

October 24, 2011 - submitted by Carly, Australia[/color][/b]

 

Q. On the Mylo album it's mentioned that Davide Rossi did all strings so what did Jon and Guy play? Mylo rocks because it's full of guitar shame Coldplay lacked imput :-( I'm so cut up I love Coldplay.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

In this context, strings refers to violins & cellos etc. As is usual, Jonny played guitar and Guy played bass. Davide is in charge of non-guitar string instruments.

 

 

really, how did she honestly think that all the bass and guitar weren't played by the band...wtf?

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October 20, 2011 - submitted by France, Canada[/color][/b]

 

Q. Hi Oracle,

 

I saw the Paradise video and it made my day. And what a day it was...

Can you share a funny story about the shoot? I am sure that there is one... an elephant does not blend well in our busy cities.

France

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

As it was filmed in different locations it was pieced together over quite a time.

The South African outdoor shots were filmed on 7th October and the live performance was the following night at the Johannesburg gig.

The week after when they got back to London, Chris shot the underground scenes. I do have a funny story (well, I think it's funny) from that day.

On 11th October, Shaun Weston (from Bristol) wrote on twitter, "I rode a Charing Cross escalator with Chris Martin today. He was dressed as an elephant. Anyone else see him, or was I dreaming?"

 

I know a few people saw Chris that day and it did surprise a few fans.

 

I am kicking myself for this. If only I'd have known he was going to use the damn underground, I would've been there in a flash! :cry:

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October 25, 2011 - submitted by Dain, United States of America

 

Q. I was listening to the live version that Coldplay did a little earlier and I noticed that just a tiny bit of things are different than in the one released in the album. Any chance that Coldplay will release a studio version of the live version they did?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I know I know everything Dain but give us a clue mate. You were listening to the live version of what exactly? I might be able to help if I know which track you mean...

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October 25, 2011 - submitted by Rudy, Slovakia

 

Q. Hi all-knowing Oracle!

Can you please tell us when there are lyrics available for Mylo Xyloto in the Recordings section?

Also other question from yesterday. On Coldplay Facebook page there was a greeting for our country, why did we get this honor from you as MX was also released in other countries?

 

Thank you in advance, greetings from Slovakia.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

They're coming! The lyrics will appear this week - maybe even today.

Facebook is very clever; it allows you to send notifications to a territory at a time so you're not the only country to receive news of the album's release.

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October 25, 2011 - submitted by Rebecca, Japan

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

Could you please tell us why was Will absent from the Q Awards ceremony?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

As you probably know by now, Coldplay were named Best Act In The World Today in the public vote (thank you!) and all but Will attended the Awards ceremony in London yesterday (24th October).

 

Will had a day off with the family before they reconvened to continue with press & promo duties. It's not the first time the whole band haven't attended as the Q Awards always seem to be when the band are at their busiest. I remember Guy didn't go back in 2002 when they had a show at Wembley Arena later than night.

 

Here's a clip of Jonny & talkative Guy at yesterday's

event.
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October 26, 2011 - submitted by Anthony, United States of America

 

Q. So there is this girl and we are really good friends and I've liked her for about a year or so and asked her out a couple times and she said no each time.

But now I'm hearing rumors that she really likes me but I don't want to go asking her out based off rumors and I mean we have A LOT in common so I think I should but at the same time I don't think I should. Please help.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Rather than ask her in the same manner again, maybe make a little joke about it - like "you'll never guess what I heard? It's as if they don't know you turned me down twice! Unless it's 3rd time lucky?" If she doesn't seem interested, tell her you're joking but couldn't pass up the opportunity just in case. That way if she says no again, you won't feel too bad but... if the rumours are true, it'd be a shame to miss out after liking her for so long.

If you don't like that idea, why not just ask one of her friends if there's any truth in what you have heard.

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October 27, 2011 - submitted by Jessica, United States of America

 

Q. Dearest Oracle,

I am looking at the back of Mylo Xyloto and I noticed that each song corresponds to a shape below, such as Up with the Birds is a bird shape. Can you tell me why Us Against the World is a sideways letter c and k? Or is it a variant on a stick figure? By the way I love the album but I wish that I hadn't seen footage of the band playing these songs live because I think they sound so much wonderful live.

 

Thanks for answering my question and have a good day Oracle!

Jessica

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Yes it's a stick figure but also the initials CK as you say, which stands for Car Kids.

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October 27, 2011 - submitted by David, United States of America

 

Q. First off I love Mylo Xyloto! it was magical! my question is about the possibility of a Christmas album, Chris mentioned on the Colbert Report that one was in the works, was he joking or is there one in the works?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Without even having to ask someone to confirm / deny I know that it's definitely a joke and Chris is teasing; there is no Christmas album in any pipeline of any kind.

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October 25, 2011 - submitted by Rebecca, Japan[/color][/b]

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

Could you please tell us why was Will absent from the Q Awards ceremony?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

As you probably know by now, Coldplay were named Best Act In The World Today in the public vote (thank you!) and all but Will attended the Awards ceremony in London yesterday (24th October).

 

Will had a day off with the family before they reconvened to continue with press & promo duties. It's not the first time the whole band haven't attended as the Q Awards always seem to be when the band are at their busiest. I remember Guy didn't go back in 2002 when they had a show at Wembley Arena later than night.

 

Here's a clip of Jonny & talkative Guy at yesterday's

event.

Even Oracle mentions how talkative Guy is! :D

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October 28, 2011 - submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

 

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

 

When I answer questions of a personal nature, Coldplay.com readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. So, we now have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before Thursday 3rd November.

"I am a 16 year old guy having trouble with a parent who smokes. My mother has been smoking on and off for years, but she's been doing it a lot lately. I've tried countless times to get her to quit over the years, but all my attempts have failed so far. Today, while driving home, I got on her nerves - and like usual, she pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking in the car. I bring up the question "Mom, why do you have to smoke" and like usual, she gets mad and tell me to stop talking about it. I didn't want to - I kept on talking about it as she ignored me, and when we got home, she went off on me because I kept bugging her about it.

I hate to admit it, but I don't think I'm mature enough to really stand up to her and tell her how I truly feel about her smoking problems. My mother means the world to me; she does everything for me, and is just an all around great person - but when it comes to her smoking and thinking about the damage she is doing to herself, it scares me thinking of what could result from it in the future... So I'm asking very kindly if maybe you could lend me a hand here, and tell me how I can really confront her about this. Lliam."

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Please email your replies to [email protected]

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October 28, 2011 - submitted by Steven, United States of America

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION - #44

 

My girlfriend and I broke up about 3 weeks ago in a mutual agreement because she believed she was not ready for a long term relationship just yet, so we promised to wait for each other. But since we went our different ways we have not spoken to each other and I'm really worried that maybe things won't be the same. What do you think I should do? Thank you in advance. Steven.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I'm sorry to say I don't trust people who selfishly keep their options open while they consider what they want, or rather, who they want. You may not like what I have to say Steven but say it I will.

I am sat here reading your dilemma and the words "mutual agreement" stand out to me as a smoke screen. I'd wager this isn't mutual at all and in fact all you want is to be with her.

Why should you wait? Indeed, why ARE you waiting? I don't think people can necessarily wait for each other. Things probably can't and won't be the same in my opinion. The fact you haven't spoken to each other makes me think she is probably over the relationship but doesn't know how to tell you so has suggested a break. I'm sorry that's harsh but even if I am wrong, you deserve better than to hang around not knowing where you stand. When you love someone, you want to be with them no matter what and if someone says they're not ready for a long term relationship, I'd wager they're just not looking for a relationship at all - not with that person anyway. I mean, why even analyze the potential length of a relationship? How long is a piece of string? A relationship is as long as it is and I don't think you can go into it having previously determined its shelf life. For what it's worth Steven I think you should go out, have fun, forget about this 'agreement' and get on with your life. Do not put it on hold for her. You may meet someone else, you may not, but don't let his girl be the reason. Over to you.

 

I'm kind of in the same situation as you right now. What I think is that if you really can't wait for her to talk to you again, you should try to start seeing others. Then again, you both made promises to each other, and if you really care about this girl, you probably shouldn't break that promise. 3 weeks, as long is it might seem, might not be enough time to make a decision, since people sometimes need more time than that to think about being in a serious relationship. If you trust her to contact you in due time, and then maybe start off again, slowly, as friends, and develop your relationship, then you should wait, or try to contact her in a few more weeks. If you're too impatient to do that and you want to start looking for other girls, and then she contacts you, you might be pretty embarrassed, if it's only been a few weeks. So I'd say wait a bit more, and it might pay off. Things might not be the exactly the same, but as long as you try not to look back, the relationship will be stronger than ever. Good luck! Jim.

 

I am sorry to hear about the demise of your relationship. However, throughout the course of your life you will encounter many different types of people. Some you will love, others you will hate and there will be myriad feelings in between. As for the people you encounter, some flow in and out of your life like the the waves of the ocean. Each leaving an indelible imprint upon your heart, mind, and soul. We never know how long or short these visits will be, or why certain people come along and others do not; but we should endeavor to make the most of each relationship. These are the best times to learn about yourself through the eyes of others, to figure out your own path in life, and to begin marching, nay, stomping out the beat of your own particular drum. With regards to your lady, and her time in your life I think that it was supposed to be a short visit. Perhaps neither one of you saw the same things in each other that you needed to see to maintain and develop your relationship. Life is uncanny in its ability to throw curve balls, so you never know what may happen, she could wake up tomorrow and realize that her life is simply not the same without you in it, or she could be thankful for the experience of you, but be ready to move on to new things. Since the two of you are not talking, there is no way to know for sure. All that you can do, since your end seems amicable, is to wish her the best and be along your way. One day, you will wake to find that everything, and everyone who is meant to stay in your life will be there. Good luck Steven, and remember your lady love is out there. She will find you when you least suspect. Cliched, yet undeniably true. Amanda.

 

Since the relationship has yet to become a long term relationship, maybe it would be in your best interest consider finding someone else, since there isn't a very strong feeling of emotions towards each other just yet. Those feelings should be felt later on in the relationship and not at the beginning, where you should be getting to know each other. On the other hand, since you both promised to wait for each other and your only problem is the fact that things may not be the same, then you may have to adjust to what is different about it. At that point if it is worth it and you feel as though you can still see yourself being with her, I only suggest to go forth with the relationship. I mean, you started liking her for a reason right? If she is no different than the way she was when you two were together, then things will probably fall into place, no matter how different the relationship is. You can't be afraid to try new things, because it may just be worth it in the long run. You have been waiting for this long term relationship with her anyways. Look at the situation both ways, and decide what will make you happy in the end. Best of luck Steven. Jon.

 

That's kind of difficult to your side, Steven. Your first option would be to look for her or her contacts. Try to find some old friends of her that you know and still are on touch with her. Who knows, she's also feeling the same feeling as you are, but still waits for you. When you had a chance for a hopeful transmission, then you can slowly rebuild a relationship lost.

But, shall you find not her contact, or she personally, then wait and wait. But watch out when another girl come to your world. You wouldn't want your world to be confusing. I'd say listen to your heart. True love never falters, never fades, never dies, but keeps on growing stronger and stronger as time passes by. When you find your promise with her to be stronger than any other woman, then continue on looking for the path your (ex) girlfriend took. Shall the opposite happen, then take what's laid to you by destiny.

Oh, one more thing. Sorry for adding this, but, shall someone confirms you that another guy took your place in her heart, don't let it break your heart. Time will tell you the right one someday. (But I wouldn't like it for you to happen)

Patience is a virtue, remember this. But patience is not a virtue when it is already of no use anymore. Nash.

 

Sorry to tell you this Steven, but you're right, things will never be "the same". It sounds like she's moving on, and you need to do the same. It also sounds like you may be her back-up plan. If she can't find something (or someone else), she's stringing you along. Just call her Marie Antionette. This may have also been a "nice" way for her to break up with you. Instead of having the courage to say 'hey, sorry, but I don't want to be with you anymore', she said 'I just don't want to be with you right now'. Don't settle for that. You apparently haven't spoken to her (guessing you haven't called/texted/visited/emailed), so just keep that up. Go out with friends, maybe even go out with another girl, and start getting over her. Good luck, Lauren.

 

Of course things aren't going to be the same. You just broke up with your girlfriend. Any situation like that is going to be awkward.

If you wish to reboot the relationship, work slowly. Emotional scarring from anything like this will typically produce the result you described. Give it some time to heal, and soon you will either be friends or you will be able to renew your relationship.

I once very awkwardly revealed a crush I had on a girl I knew. She turned me down. Though she seemed confident and relaxed about what had happened, we never spoke or even looked at/interacted with each other for months. Now, however, we are on good terms as friends, as if it never happened. If I could achieve something like that, then there is certainly great hope that your relationship with your ex-girlfriend will heal. Regards, Peter.

 

Act now! If you haven't spoken to each other since the break-up, you need to remedy that, as soon as possible. She might not be ready for a long term relationship, but you two still need to be close to each other. It definitely won't be the same if your friendship falters. It's normal for two people to take time to think about a relationship, so take time, let her get comfortable with the thought of a long term relationship, and think about it, yourself, to make sure you're ready. As long as you two are thinking about it, and you two remain good friends, then transitioning back into a relationship will be a lot easier, and much more likely to prosper.

Best of luck to you two, Bradley H.

 

While it can be romantic to "wait" for each other, it usually doesn't work out in either party's best interest. You are scared that the relationship won't be the same when it starts back up, but who's to say that it even will? If you haven't voiced your concerns to her already, you should definitely when next you make contact with her. Have either of you made an effort to talk to each other? If you have tried to talk to her but she is ignoring you, then perhaps she doesn't know how she feels, or maybe she has moved on. It seems like you really like her, but you can't let her keep you on a shelf while she goes elsewhere. There are many promising girls who are ready to be in a long-term relationship, and they might just pass you by if you wait too long. Best of luck, Blake.

 

Try and give her a call, and say you're ringing just to say hi and see how she is. If the conversation seems awkward, try to get her to talk about herself - this should make her feel more comfortable when talking with you, and perhaps if things seem well you could ask her to meet you for a coffee, where you can continue your chat in person. Seeing each other in person is essential. Take it slowly, though - give her time, and just act as her friend for now and seem interested in everything she says and talks about. Just build it up slowly, from having a coffee to going to the cinema. Just keep seeing her and talking to her and she will feel more comfortable. The key to this is being patient. Good luck Steven. Sean

 

Thank you all for your replies. Click to read this week's Team Oracle question, and send us your answer.

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October 31, 2011 - submitted by Axel, Mexico

 

Q. Hi dear and lovely Oracle!

 

Hey I heard Princess of China was the third single from Mylo, and then I looked for information and I found it was released on October 25! Is that true? Is POC a single?

By the way, Mylo Xyloto is fantastic! When will be lyrics on Recordings Section? I need to sing right as loud as I can!

 

Thanks for your time! Greetings from Mexico!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

PoC has definitely not been released as a single. We've not long since released Paradise and the album only came out last Monday.

The lyrics are coming I promise. It's something to look forward to!

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October 31, 2011 - submitted by Anton, Netherlands

 

Q. How does Coldplay feel about somebody putting a shaky video on his facebook page of a part of a song recorded during a concert. I ask this especially cause if think I was foolish to post a picture and question on Chris Martins facebook page. And I got the feeling he did not appreciate that very much.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Chris doesn't have a facebook page so whatever wall that was, it wasn't our Chris Martin's. I suspect it's someone posing as him. The band members do not have individual facebook accounts. Please pass that on to other people who may be being misled...

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