||The OFFICIAL Coldplay FanFic Thread 1||

[Corkus]

Okay, I've held back long enough. It's been in the works for three weeks and is finally finished, broken up into seven chapters. Long story short, it's a completely nonsensical take on The Wizard of Oz with your favorite Coldplay members, along with some fun guests along the way. It's not the most original idea, but it's so over-the-top that I had a lot of fun with it. Oh yeah, Guy gets abused throughout the story. A LOT. Anyways, here's Chapter 1. It's not as humorous as later chapters, as I am still figuring out what personality I want each band member to have at this point, and it's very light on profanities compared to later, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

 

 

 

THE PROSPEKT OF OZ

 

CHAPTER 1: TWISTED LOGIC

 

After a long night playing in Kansas City, the band walks backstage as The Escapist sounds. This cues the end of yet another live performance, but the beginning of something much larger and more bizarre.

 

Guy: “Tough crowd tonight, huh?”

 

Will: “Seriously, Chris, nobody finds Joe the Plumber jokes funny anymore. Election’s over.”

 

Chris: “Come on, Will, odds are I would have gotten at least one laugh out of 15,000 people. 15,000! I wasn’t aware 15,000 people even lived in Kansas!”

 

Jonny: “Think of it this way, fellas – After a few more shows, we’ll be back home.”

 

Chris: “Yeah, I can’t wait to finally relax in our secluded bakery that nobody knows the whereabouts of.”

 

Roadie 42: “Okay gentlemen, follow me. Fans have blocked off the back entrance en masse, leaving the main entrance completely vacant, and thus providing our escape route.”

 

As the band is secretly escorted back to their van in a remote location, a siren starts to blare through various posts in the area.

 

Guy: “What the flying crap does that siren mean?”

 

Jonny: “The British are coming!”

 

Guy: “Damn right we are.”

 

Roadie 42: “All right boys, into the van. Try not to bump your head this time, Will.”

 

Will: “But that forehead gnash makes me look like such a stud! No reason why Guy should be the only one to get so much girl action!”

 

Chris: “All right, driver. This time, take us to a hotel that doesn’t steal my cellular network and charge me up the wazoo for every minute I spend talking to the wife.”

 

Driver: “Motel 6 it is!”

 

The van drives deeper into downtown. Even with the windows rolled up, the sirens start growing ever louder.

 

Guy: “Seriously, can someone explain not only what that siren means, but why each of our maniacal fans suddenly vanished from the streets?”

 

Driver: “Ah, good question. Glad you finally asked.”

 

Guy: “I’ve asked it about five times now.”

 

Driver: “Yes, of course you have.”

 

Guy: “…”

 

Driver: “Anyways, here in the heartland of America, there exists a strange weather phenomenon known as a tornado, which forms from rotation in thunderstorm clouds. God bless you, Wikipedia. Where was I? Oh yes. Special tornado sirens alarm whenever a tornado has been indicated in the area, alerting everyone to seek immediate shelter or face certain death.”

 

Jonny: “So then why the fuck aren’t we cowering under Chri…uh, a sheltered area right now?

 

Chris: “Because if Gwyneth doesn’t know exactly where I am immediately after each concert ends, she contacts an agency for missing persons.”

 

Will: “Oh yeah, that was pretty funny.”

 

Suddenly, what appears to be a window pane flies past the van.

 

Guy: “Holy…”

 

Will: “Hey, you guys remember that one time during Speed of Sound when Chris accidentally sang about how much he…”

 

Guy: “Fellas, I think this is getting pretty serious right now.”

 

Chris: “Give me a break, Will, that gentleman in the second row clearly reminded me of...”

 

Guy: “HELLO!?”

 

Chris: “…not to mention I was a little rummed up that night…”

 

Guy: “WE’RE DRIVING INTO A FREAKING TWISTER!!!”

 

The van suddenly collides with the approaching twister, with the driver losing all control of the vehicle’s direction.

 

Chris: “…and besides, I think we all secretly have a fetish for nude photographs of…umm…close friends.”

 

Guy: “…Why the hell does no one listen to me?”

 

The van begins spinning violently, with debris rotating around quickly and the driver now knocked unconscious. As trees and concrete slam against the sides of the vehicle, damage begins to increase, with half the windows blown out and the band’s instruments fully exposed in the back.

 

Guy: “This might be the end, guys, so if any of you are paying attention, just know that I love each of you, but in a non-perverted way, unlike--WHUH!”

 

Guy is suddenly sucked through the open window into the twister.

 

Jonny: “Did I just hear Guy?”

 

Will: “Nah, twas probably an owl.”

 

Chris: “So Will, do you have any more ‘hilarious’ recollections of our performances?”

 

Will: “Well, there was that one time back during the Twisted Logic Tour when--GUUAAH!”

 

Will is sucked out of the van and into the twister in a similar fashion to Guy. This time, Chris and Jonny are actually paying attention.

 

Chris: “Holy shit, Jonny, did Will just fly out through the window like Peter Pan?”

 

Jonny: “Who the hell is Peter Pan? Come to think of it, where’s Guy?”

 

Chris: “Who the hell is Guy? Oh goodness, have we truly sung our last song?”

 

Jonny: “Maybe we could sing one final…duet!”

 

Chris: “You really mean it? Because I’ve always wanted to do a cover of ‘We are the World’.”

 

Jonny: “Not quite, Chris. I was actually thinking about--WHAACHRIIIIISSSSS!!!”

 

Jonny is sucked through the roof, which has now been fully exposed, leaving Chris alone on half a seat.

 

Chris: “JONNY!!! NO!!! Whatever happens, I will come to save you! And if Will and Guy are lucky, then I’ll save them, too! Got…to…hold…on…too…ugh....”

 

The cushion beneath Chris is eventually torn to shreds, leaving Chris blowing fiercely through the tornado. Chris suddenly loses all conscious thought, leaving him and the other band members and roadies at the twister’s mercy. Where and when they land is up to fate.

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

[Dark_Sofie]

Okay, I've held back long enough. It's been in the works for three weeks and is finally finished, broken up into seven chapters. Long story short, it's a completely nonsensical take on The Wizard of Oz with your favorite Coldplay members, along with some fun guests along the way. It's not the most original idea, but it's so over-the-top that I had a lot of fun with it. Oh yeah, Guy gets abused throughout the story. A LOT. Anyways, here's Chapter 1. It's not as humorous as later chapters, as I am still figuring out what personality I want each band member to have at this point, and it's very light on profanities compared to later, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

 

 

 

 

 

:D that's sounds like an fascinating :dance: story. Well if it is like the wizard of Oz then it isn't because I know the plot but maybe you'll change something while you write it.

 

I like it that they don't pay attention to Guy at first. The situation is just funny.

[cold_love23]

Of course we care. This story sounds interesting. I'd like to know what will happen in the elevator and WHAT Will wanna tell! ;)

Please do continue!! I love the way you write! :D

I love your writing style!! Very descriptive and so interesting! please update! Will is in my book as the cutest Coldplay member (especially that smile:heart:) anyway continue! :D

Yeah, continue your story!

 

cool thanks guys, I'll definitely try to continue! :D

[iPsy]

Ooh, theres some great new fanfic's here guys! :D, Well done! :D

[Batman]

 

Guy: “I’ve asked it about five times now.”

 

Driver: “Yes, of course you have.”

 

Guy: “…”

 

 

Oh man, Guy always gets ignored :cry::lol:

Jonny: “So then why the fuck aren’t we cowering under Chri…uh, a sheltered area right now?

 

 

 

*no comment* :sneaky:

 

 

Chris: “…and besides, I think we all secretly have a fetish for nude photographs of…umm…close friends.”

 

 

AHA. Chris you dirty boy! :wink3:

 

Guy: “This might be the end, guys, so if any of you are paying attention, just know that I love each of you, but in a non-perverted way, unlike--WHUH!”

 

Guy is suddenly sucked through the open window into the twister.

 

Jonny: “Did I just hear Guy?”

 

Will: “Nah, twas probably an owl.”

 

 

 

AN OWL!! BWAHAHA :laugh3::lol:

 

 

Okay seriously, your story is totally random, and absolutly AWESOME! MORRRE

[iPsy]

:laugh3:

[Miss Lestrade]

That was GREAT!

 

I love how Guy's the smart, attentive one but no one acknowledges his existence. :lol:

[but a dream]

Okay, I've held back long enough. It's been in the works for three weeks and is finally finished, broken up into seven chapters. Long story short, it's a completely nonsensical take on The Wizard of Oz with your favorite Coldplay members, along with some fun guests along the way. It's not the most original idea, but it's so over-the-top that I had a lot of fun with it. Oh yeah, Guy gets abused throughout the story. A LOT. Anyways, here's Chapter 1. It's not as humorous as later chapters, as I am still figuring out what personality I want each band member to have at this point, and it's very light on profanities compared to later, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

 

 

 

THE PROSPEKT OF OZ

 

CHAPTER 1: TWISTED LOGIC

 

After a long night playing in Kansas City, the band walks backstage as The Escapist sounds. This cues the end of yet another live performance, but the beginning of something much larger and more bizarre.

 

Guy: “Tough crowd tonight, huh?”

 

Will: “Seriously, Chris, nobody finds Joe the Plumber jokes funny anymore. Election’s over.”

 

Chris: “Come on, Will, odds are I would have gotten at least one laugh out of 15,000 people. 15,000! I wasn’t aware 15,000 people even lived in Kansas!”

 

Jonny: “Think of it this way, fellas – After a few more shows, we’ll be back home.”

 

Chris: “Yeah, I can’t wait to finally relax in our secluded bakery that nobody knows the whereabouts of.”

 

Roadie 42: “Okay gentlemen, follow me. Fans have blocked off the back entrance en masse, leaving the main entrance completely vacant, and thus providing our escape route.”

 

As the band is secretly escorted back to their van in a remote location, a siren starts to blare through various posts in the area.

 

Guy: “What the flying crap does that siren mean?”

 

Jonny: “The British are coming!”

 

Guy: “Damn right we are.”

 

Roadie 42: “All right boys, into the van. Try not to bump your head this time, Will.”

 

Will: “But that forehead gnash makes me look like such a stud! No reason why Guy should be the only one to get so much girl action!”

 

Chris: “All right, driver. This time, take us to a hotel that doesn’t steal my cellular network and charge me up the wazoo for every minute I spend talking to the wife.”

 

Driver: “Motel 6 it is!”

 

The van drives deeper into downtown. Even with the windows rolled up, the sirens start growing ever louder.

 

Guy: “Seriously, can someone explain not only what that siren means, but why each of our maniacal fans suddenly vanished from the streets?”

 

Driver: “Ah, good question. Glad you finally asked.”

 

Guy: “I’ve asked it about five times now.”

 

Driver: “Yes, of course you have.”

 

Guy: “…”

 

Driver: “Anyways, here in the heartland of America, there exists a strange weather phenomenon known as a tornado, which forms from rotation in thunderstorm clouds. God bless you, Wikipedia. Where was I? Oh yes. Special tornado sirens alarm whenever a tornado has been indicated in the area, alerting everyone to seek immediate shelter or face certain death.”

 

Jonny: “So then why the fuck aren’t we cowering under Chri…uh, a sheltered area right now?

 

Chris: “Because if Gwyneth doesn’t know exactly where I am immediately after each concert ends, she contacts an agency for missing persons.”

 

Will: “Oh yeah, that was pretty funny.”

 

Suddenly, what appears to be a window pane flies past the van.

 

Guy: “Holy…”

 

Will: “Hey, you guys remember that one time during Speed of Sound when Chris accidentally sang about how much he…”

 

Guy: “Fellas, I think this is getting pretty serious right now.”

 

Chris: “Give me a break, Will, that gentleman in the second row clearly reminded me of...”

 

Guy: “HELLO!?”

 

Chris: “…not to mention I was a little rummed up that night…”

 

Guy: “WE’RE DRIVING INTO A FREAKING TWISTER!!!”

 

The van suddenly collides with the approaching twister, with the driver losing all control of the vehicle’s direction.

 

Chris: “…and besides, I think we all secretly have a fetish for nude photographs of…umm…close friends.”

 

Guy: “…Why the hell does no one listen to me?”

 

The van begins spinning violently, with debris rotating around quickly and the driver now knocked unconscious. As trees and concrete slam against the sides of the vehicle, damage begins to increase, with half the windows blown out and the band’s instruments fully exposed in the back.

 

Guy: “This might be the end, guys, so if any of you are paying attention, just know that I love each of you, but in a non-perverted way, unlike--WHUH!”

 

Guy is suddenly sucked through the open window into the twister.

 

Jonny: “Did I just hear Guy?”

 

Will: “Nah, twas probably an owl.”

 

Chris: “So Will, do you have any more ‘hilarious’ recollections of our performances?”

 

Will: “Well, there was that one time back during the Twisted Logic Tour when--GUUAAH!”

 

Will is sucked out of the van and into the twister in a similar fashion to Guy. This time, Chris and Jonny are actually paying attention.

 

Chris: “Holy shit, Jonny, did Will just fly out through the window like Peter Pan?”

 

Jonny: “Who the hell is Peter Pan? Come to think of it, where’s Guy?”

 

Chris: “Who the hell is Guy? Oh goodness, have we truly sung our last song?”

 

Jonny: “Maybe we could sing one final…duet!”

 

Chris: “You really mean it? Because I’ve always wanted to do a cover of ‘We are the World’.”

 

Jonny: “Not quite, Chris. I was actually thinking about--WHAACHRIIIIISSSSS!!!”

 

Jonny is sucked through the roof, which has now been fully exposed, leaving Chris alone on half a seat.

 

Chris: “JONNY!!! NO!!! Whatever happens, I will come to save you! And if Will and Guy are lucky, then I’ll save them, too! Got…to…hold…on…too…ugh....”

 

The cushion beneath Chris is eventually torn to shreds, leaving Chris blowing fiercely through the tornado. Chris suddenly loses all conscious thought, leaving him and the other band members and roadies at the twister’s mercy. Where and when they land is up to fate.

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

:lol:

 

That was awesome reading :laugh3:

[cold_love23]

Okay, I've held back long enough. It's been in the works for three weeks and is finally finished, broken up into seven chapters. Long story short, it's a completely nonsensical take on The Wizard of Oz with your favorite Coldplay members, along with some fun guests along the way. It's not the most original idea, but it's so over-the-top that I had a lot of fun with it. Oh yeah, Guy gets abused throughout the story. A LOT. Anyways, here's Chapter 1. It's not as humorous as later chapters, as I am still figuring out what personality I want each band member to have at this point, and it's very light on profanities compared to later, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

 

 

 

THE PROSPEKT OF OZ

 

CHAPTER 1: TWISTED LOGIC

 

After a long night playing in Kansas City, the band walks backstage as The Escapist sounds. This cues the end of yet another live performance, but the beginning of something much larger and more bizarre.

 

Guy: “Tough crowd tonight, huh?”

 

Will: “Seriously, Chris, nobody finds Joe the Plumber jokes funny anymore. Election’s over.”

 

Chris: “Come on, Will, odds are I would have gotten at least one laugh out of 15,000 people. 15,000! I wasn’t aware 15,000 people even lived in Kansas!”

 

Jonny: “Think of it this way, fellas – After a few more shows, we’ll be back home.”

 

Chris: “Yeah, I can’t wait to finally relax in our secluded bakery that nobody knows the whereabouts of.”

 

Roadie 42: “Okay gentlemen, follow me. Fans have blocked off the back entrance en masse, leaving the main entrance completely vacant, and thus providing our escape route.”

 

As the band is secretly escorted back to their van in a remote location, a siren starts to blare through various posts in the area.

 

Guy: “What the flying crap does that siren mean?”

 

Jonny: “The British are coming!”

 

Guy: “Damn right we are.”

 

Roadie 42: “All right boys, into the van. Try not to bump your head this time, Will.”

 

Will: “But that forehead gnash makes me look like such a stud! No reason why Guy should be the only one to get so much girl action!”

 

Chris: “All right, driver. This time, take us to a hotel that doesn’t steal my cellular network and charge me up the wazoo for every minute I spend talking to the wife.”

 

Driver: “Motel 6 it is!”

 

The van drives deeper into downtown. Even with the windows rolled up, the sirens start growing ever louder.

 

Guy: “Seriously, can someone explain not only what that siren means, but why each of our maniacal fans suddenly vanished from the streets?”

 

Driver: “Ah, good question. Glad you finally asked.”

 

Guy: “I’ve asked it about five times now.”

 

Driver: “Yes, of course you have.”

 

Guy: “…”

 

Driver: “Anyways, here in the heartland of America, there exists a strange weather phenomenon known as a tornado, which forms from rotation in thunderstorm clouds. God bless you, Wikipedia. Where was I? Oh yes. Special tornado sirens alarm whenever a tornado has been indicated in the area, alerting everyone to seek immediate shelter or face certain death.”

 

Jonny: “So then why the fuck aren’t we cowering under Chri…uh, a sheltered area right now?

 

Chris: “Because if Gwyneth doesn’t know exactly where I am immediately after each concert ends, she contacts an agency for missing persons.”

 

Will: “Oh yeah, that was pretty funny.”

 

Suddenly, what appears to be a window pane flies past the van.

 

Guy: “Holy…”

 

Will: “Hey, you guys remember that one time during Speed of Sound when Chris accidentally sang about how much he…”

 

Guy: “Fellas, I think this is getting pretty serious right now.”

 

Chris: “Give me a break, Will, that gentleman in the second row clearly reminded me of...”

 

Guy: “HELLO!?”

 

Chris: “…not to mention I was a little rummed up that night…”

 

Guy: “WE’RE DRIVING INTO A FREAKING TWISTER!!!”

 

The van suddenly collides with the approaching twister, with the driver losing all control of the vehicle’s direction.

 

Chris: “…and besides, I think we all secretly have a fetish for nude photographs of…umm…close friends.”

 

Guy: “…Why the hell does no one listen to me?”

 

The van begins spinning violently, with debris rotating around quickly and the driver now knocked unconscious. As trees and concrete slam against the sides of the vehicle, damage begins to increase, with half the windows blown out and the band’s instruments fully exposed in the back.

 

Guy: “This might be the end, guys, so if any of you are paying attention, just know that I love each of you, but in a non-perverted way, unlike--WHUH!”

 

Guy is suddenly sucked through the open window into the twister.

 

Jonny: “Did I just hear Guy?”

 

Will: “Nah, twas probably an owl.”

 

Chris: “So Will, do you have any more ‘hilarious’ recollections of our performances?”

 

Will: “Well, there was that one time back during the Twisted Logic Tour when--GUUAAH!”

 

Will is sucked out of the van and into the twister in a similar fashion to Guy. This time, Chris and Jonny are actually paying attention.

 

Chris: “Holy shit, Jonny, did Will just fly out through the window like Peter Pan?”

 

Jonny: “Who the hell is Peter Pan? Come to think of it, where’s Guy?”

 

Chris: “Who the hell is Guy? Oh goodness, have we truly sung our last song?”

 

Jonny: “Maybe we could sing one final…duet!”

 

Chris: “You really mean it? Because I’ve always wanted to do a cover of ‘We are the World’.”

 

Jonny: “Not quite, Chris. I was actually thinking about--WHAACHRIIIIISSSSS!!!”

 

Jonny is sucked through the roof, which has now been fully exposed, leaving Chris alone on half a seat.

 

Chris: “JONNY!!! NO!!! Whatever happens, I will come to save you! And if Will and Guy are lucky, then I’ll save them, too! Got…to…hold…on…too…ugh....”

 

The cushion beneath Chris is eventually torn to shreds, leaving Chris blowing fiercely through the tornado. Chris suddenly loses all conscious thought, leaving him and the other band members and roadies at the twister’s mercy. Where and when they land is up to fate.

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

that was really good :D

poor Guy though, no one pays attention to him :cry:

I felt bad for him, but it was still really funny :laugh3:

[Corkus]

Oh dear, people, you haven't seen how random it gets yet! Here's Part 2, which introduces some fun faces and really increases the level of profanities with a certain...character. Teehee. This one's all Chris, as he takes the "Dorothy" role with the story finally taking off. And I needed some villain characters, so I...umm..."borrowed" from "elsewhere". Heh heh...

 

 

THE PROSPEKT OF OZ

 

CHAPTER 2: THE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN

 

Chris slowly wakes up, completely unaware of how long he had been unconscious. Before gathering the strength to lift his body off the ground, Chris tilts his head, only to find none of his band mates or roadies around. Yet he seems to be in a more…colorful place. Nothing like the brown wheat fields of Kansas.

 

Chris: “Oh God…it feels like I’ve been thrown for a whirl into some mystical land pulled out of some horribly out-of-date classic film.”

 

Chris gradually pulls himself upright, only to glance over toward what remains of the band’s piano. Underneath, it looks as if a valuable object has been crushed. But before Chris has a chance to examine it, he hears a voice approaching.

 

Voice: “Chrrrriiiissss…Maaaarrrrtiiiinnn…”

 

Chris: “Crud, maybe I’m still woozy.”

 

Suddenly, a mysterious male figure encased in a giant bubble descends from the skies in front of Chris. The bubble stops, with the figure seeming to struggle inside.

 

Bubbled Figure: “Seriously, how the hell am I supposed to pop this bubble? Biting it won’t work, stabbing it with my pocket knife won’t work, singing off-key won’t work…”

 

Chris: “Excuse me! Could you possibly tell me where the bloody hell I am?”

 

Bubbled Figure: “Patience, Chris, for all will be revealed to you within time. As in, like, right now. That’s why I’m here. I’m the Good Witch of the North.”

 

Chris: “Wait…aren’t witches normally....ladies?”

 

Bubbled Figure: “No. They aren’t. Stop thinking that. Anyways, pleasure to meet you. The name’s Noel Gallagher. I’m the lead guitarist from the band Oasis, as well as the only member of the band that doesn’t think Coldplay is a pseudo-emotional attention-starved pop act.”

 

Chris: “No really, we only wish we could be half the sensation you guys are.”

 

Noel: “Stop that, too. Quit putting your own band down every time you speak. It’s irritating.”

 

Chris: “So…where am I? Where’s Jonny? And anybody else who was with us? Are you gay?”

 

Noel: “Why, you are in the magical land we call ‘42’.”

 

Chris: “42?”

 

Noel: “Indeed. Mysterious, unexplained crap happens here, and your only hope of returning to your world is by visiting the one known as ‘Prospekt’. He lives in the Emerald Shack at the end of the yellow-line road. I believe that was one of your songs, correct? Something about drawing a line and how it was all Yellow? Eh? Am I right? Oh, and to answer your other questions…don’t know, don’t know, and…don’t know.”

 

While the two talk, with Noel still in the bubble, they hear a mortal moaning coming from underneath Chris’ fallen piano. Noel peers over only to turn to shock upon discovering the body lying underneath.

 

Noel: “GEM!?”

 

Chris: “Who?”

 

Noel: “Gem Archer! Lead guitarist from Oasis, also known as the Wicked Witch of the East!”

 

Chris: “Oh dear, it doesn’t look like any life is left in him.”

 

Noel: “Oh, no worries. I don’t think anyone ever liked him, anyways. Well, except maybe Liam. Anyhoo, the Applekins will certainly be pleased as the end of his reign of terror.”

 

Chris: “Who or what are…”

 

Noel: “Come on out, little Applekins!”

 

Dozens of midget-like figures suddenly pour out from behind rocks and trees, gathering around Gem’s dead body.

 

Chris: “My God, those things are hideous. And ‘Applekins’? Who the hell would name them something like that? That’s like if I were to name my son after a vegetable!”

 

One of the Applekins pokes the dead body with a stick.

 

Applekin 1: He’s dead! The wicked witch is dead!”

 

Applekin 2: “I feel like breaking out into song!”

 

Applekin 3: “But that song is copyrighted!”

 

Applekin 4: I know a song that isn’t copyrighted!”

 

All: “What?”

 

Applekin 4: “Lights go out and I can’t be saved…tides that I tried to swim against…”

 

Chris: “WhoaWhoaWhoa…hold on a second!”

 

Meanwhile, Gem’s corpse shrivels up, leaving behind a guitar studded with rubies.

 

Noel: “Whoa, Chris, take a look!”

 

Chris walks over to the guitar while Noel floats over in his bubble.

 

Chris: “Is that some sort of ruby guitar for rich white people?”

 

Noel: “Sure is. Maybe you should take this guitar to Prospekt. He’ll know what to do with it.”

 

Chris: “So who exactly is this Prospekt guy, anyways?”

 

Noel: “No one knows for sure, but word has it that he is overseer of all the land. He is said to grant the wishes of whoever seeks him.”

 

Suddenly, the skies gray and an ominous wind howls. A shadowed figure swoops down from the clouds on a flying guitar.

 

Applekin 1: “Oh no, not him!”

 

All the Applekins flee back to their shelters.

 

Shadowed Figure: “What the fuck is going on here?”

 

Chris: “Who’s that?”

 

Noel: “The Wicked Witch of the West!”

 

Chris: “GWYNETH!?”

 

Noel: “No, it’s just my brother, Liam Gallagher, a.k.a. the Wicked Witch of the West. He likes to say the word ‘fuck’ a lot.”

 

Liam: “I heard some ruckus was going on in this…GEM! *gasp* FUCKING GEM ARCHER! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU?”

 

Noel: “Calm down, Liam.”

 

Liam: “Fuck, off, Noel! I fucking swear I will fucking murder whoever did this!”

 

Chris: “You see, the whole thing was totally an accident! We were driving back to a hotel when suddenly what’s apparently called a ‘tornado’ picked us up and brought us to…”

 

Liam: “Chris Fucking Martin of Cold-fucking-play?” I should have known.”

 

Noel: “Yeah, yeah, why don’t you go plot your schemes back at your lair?”

 

Liam: “Oh, I will. I will, brother. Mark my words, Mr. Martin, that I will fucking have my revenge, and it will be fucking delicious! So with that – fuck, fuck, and away!”

 

Liam hops back on his guitar and flies out into the horizon, cackling like a maniac.[/i]

 

Chris: “…Is he always that horribly anticlimactic?”

 

Noel: “I take it you never bought Heathen Chemistry? That’s okay. I didn’t either.”

 

Chris: “Anyways, I suppose I should be on my merry way to see this Prospekt fellow.”

 

Noel: “Yes, and remember – follow the Yellow Line Road! Hope you meet lots of bizarre people! And make sure to watch out for Liam!”

 

In the far distance, Liam begins muttering to himself.

 

Liam: “I will get you, Mr. Martin. You and all your fucking fans who don’t look like they’re having any fun at your fucking concerts. I’ve got 30, and they’re all having fun! Be warned, for your time is near…”

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

[Batman]

– fuck, fuck, and away!”

 

 

You're the master of randomness! :lol: EPIC LOL!

 

Please give us more of that hilarious crap! XD

[In a telescope lens]

MORE MORE MORE!!!!!! That was hilarious and brilliant!!!!!

Keep writing!! And quickly if possible!!

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

[Corkus]

It's actually fully written already. I'm just spacing out the postings. Chapter 3 may be up tonight if I feel like it.

Glad you guys are enjoying it. No worries; Liam's swear-ridden antics become even more over-the-top as time goes on. :laugh3:

[Dark_Sofie]

:D this is totally hilarious!!

[In a telescope lens]

Please please please post it tonight!!! I'll need a distraction from my english paper!!

:D:D

[Cobalt]

Liam: “I’ve got 30, and they’re all having fun!”

 

:laugh3:

[Corkus]

Okay, I'm feeling nice tonight, so here's Chapter 3, in which we get a (sort of) reunion.

 

 

THE PROSPEKT OF OZ

 

CHAPTER 3: POPPYFIELDS

 

Chris walks along the Yellow Line Road blissfully, toting his newly found ruby guitar as he passes a field of flowers.

 

Chris: “Goodness, this place sure is colorful, but I seriously wish I had a van or a taxi right now. Maybe I should invest in one of those Vespa things.”

 

Progressing beside the tall flowers, Chris hears the humming of a vaguely familiar tune.

 

Chris: “What’s this?”

 

Humming Voice: “Hmm hm hm hmm hm hm hmmmm…”

 

Chris: “Could it be?”

 

Chris instantly recognizes the tune as Death Will Never Conquer. He immediately bolts into the flower field. The further he pushes through, the more distinct the humming becomes.

 

Chris: “WILL!?!”

 

Chris stops in front of the humming figure who he recognizes as none other than Will Champion.

 

Will: “Holy cow, CHRIS?”

 

Chris: “Will! I have no real idea what’s going on, but have you seen Jonny, by any chance?”

 

Will: “Chris, we’ve been stranded in some fairytale land with no way home and all you care about is Jonny?”

 

Chris: “If you were Jonny, then you’d understand.”

 

Will: “So, uh, what do you know? Last thing I remember before winding up in this bed of flowers was getting my forehead bashed against the van’s roof again in that twister.”

 

Chris: “Apparently this land is called ‘42’, this Yellow Line Road leads to the Emerald Shack where this dude named ‘Prospekt’ lives, I have to take this unnecessarily heavy ruby guitar to him, and now there’s some witch after my head.”

 

Will: “The Wicked Witch? You mean that flying guitar dude who never met a profanity he didn’t like? That guy flew over here like an hour ago. And you know what he said to me? He said I was BALD! Can you believe it? I’ve still got a little fuzz left on here, for crying out loud!”

 

Chris: “I wouldn’t take it too hard, Will. Let’s just go find the others.”

 

Will: “No, Chris! I’m fed up with people mocking my lack of hair! What I need is a wig!”

 

Chris: “Well, this Prospekt character seems to be some sort of wish-granter, also. Maybe he can get you a wig.”

 

Will: *sniff* “You really mean it?”

 

Chris: “Yes, and hopefully he can grant my wish, too.”

 

Will: “Of returning back to the hotel?”

 

Chris: “Umm…yeah…sure…”

 

Will: “Well, I guess we should be following that Yellow Line Road.”

 

Chris: “Indeed! We’re off to see Prospekt!”

 

With that, Chris and Will skip off further along the Yellow Line Road. Somewhere in a murky chamber, however, Liam Gallagher is watching the duo through his crystal ball.

 

Liam: “Ah, so little fuckhead has found himself a friend. And he’s bald! He’s fucking bald! Oh, how I can’t stop cackling! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! *Ahem* My minion, do come here at once.”

 

A dark figure creeps towards Liam, who then whispers something in his ear.

 

Liam: “And make haste!”

 

Back on the road, Chris and Will now walk into a thick forest.

 

Chris: “You know, Will, I’ve been thinking…”

 

Will: “What’s that?”

 

Chris: “You know…about life.”

 

Will: “Yeah? What about it?”

 

Chris: “It’s just…do you think Jonny has thought the same of me ever since I cut my hair?”

 

Will: “Oh, don’t talk to me about hair right now.”

 

Suddenly, the duo hears metal clanking through the thicket. Another being can be seen wandering in the distance.

 

Will: “Look! It’s a Tin Man!”

 

Chris: “Great galloping Glass of Water! It’s Jonny Buckland!”

 

Will: “Then why does he sound like metal thrashing together?”

 

Chris: “Because he’s got nerves of steel! DUH!”

 

Jonny turns and sees Chris and Will waving to him, with Chris bouncing up and down.

 

Jonny: “Chris?”

 

Chris: “JONNY!”

 

Will: “Jonny!”

 

Jonny: “Will?”

 

Chris: “Jonny!”

 

Will: “Oh, thank goodness we found you, Jonny.”

 

Chris: “Jonny!”

 

Jonny: “You don’t have to explain to me what going on; I see and know everything.”

 

Will suddenly slaps Jonny across the face.

 

Will: “You clearly didn’t see that.

 

Chris: “Jonny!”

 

Jonny: “Suppose not. Anyways, I heard from a little birdie who kinda looked a lot like Noel Gallagher that some Prospekt fellow can solve all our troubles?”

 

Will: “Indeed, that’s who Chris and I were headed to see. He can even grant wishes, apparently.”

 

Chris: “Jonny!”

 

Jonny: “Okay, because I have a wish of my own I would like granted. For you see, I never felt as though my heart was adequate. I think it died when I heard the Jonas Brothers perform their cover of Fix You. And there’s…someone who I never felt it was good enough for.”

 

Will: “Maybe this Prospekt could provide you a new heart!”

 

Jonny: “Oh, that would be spectacular!”

 

Chris: *snaps out of trance* “Uh, well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

 

Will: “Indeed! We finally have reunited the entire band!”

 

Jonny: “Yes, all three members of Coldplay are together again!”

 

Chris: “Oh, you two are the greatest band mates I could ever ask for! I would never want to play with anybody else!”

 

So Chris, Will, and Jonny begin skipping together out of the forest off to the Emerald Shack, but further perils no doubt await, as Liam continues scheming in his lair.

 

Liam: “My minion, have you prepared the Poison Postcards from Far Away?”

 

Minion: “Yes, my lord…”

 

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

[Cobalt]

 

POISON POSTCARDS FROM FAR AWAY! :laugh3:

 

 

Brilliant!

[marie/pims]

EXCELLENT!!Chris is hilarious!

[Dark_Sofie]

:D:D :laugh4: :laugh4:

Will: “The Wicked Witch? You mean that flying guitar dude who never met a profanity he didn’t like? That guy flew over here like an hour ago. And you know what he said to me? He said I was BALD! Can you believe it? I’ve still got a little fuzz left on here, for crying out loud!”

 

I really had to laugh. And he wants to have a wit.

 

:D Chris also says all the time "Jonny!" Mmmhhh ... suspicious! :sneaky: :wink3: :D

 

And noone misses the poor boy Guy :(

 

 

Great Job :thumbsup:

[Sirhc]

Haha, this is so funny :laugh3:

[but a dream]

Jonny: “Chris?”

 

Chris: “JONNY!”

 

Will: “Jonny!”

 

Jonny: “Will?”

 

Chris: “Jonny!”

 

Will: “Oh, thank goodness we found you, Jonny.”

 

Chris: “Jonny!”

 

Jonny: “You don’t have to explain to me what going on; I see and know everything.”

 

Will suddenly slaps Jonny across the face.

 

Will: “You clearly didn’t see that.

 

Chris: “Jonny!”

 

Jonny: “Suppose not. Anyways, I heard from a little birdie who kinda looked a lot like Noel Gallagher that some Prospekt fellow can solve all our troubles?”

 

Will: “Indeed, that’s who Chris and I were headed to see. He can even grant wishes, apparently.”

 

Chris: “Jonny!”

:laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

Will: “Indeed! We finally have reunited the entire band!”

 

Jonny: “Yes, all three members of Coldplay are together again!”

 

Chris: “Oh, you two are the greatest band mates I could ever ask for! I would never want to play with anybody else!”

Aww poor Guy!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

[Batman]

Chris: “If you were Jonny, then you’d understand.”

*perv sense is tingling*

 

Chris: “Yes, and hopefully he can grant my wish, too.”

 

Will: “Of returning back to the hotel?”

 

Chris: “Umm…yeah…sure…”

 

Muah :wink3:

 

Chris: “Great galloping Glass of Water! It’s Jonny Buckland!”

 

Will: “Then why does he sound like metal thrashing together?”

 

Chris: “Because he’s got nerves of steel! DUH!”

 

*snort* :lol:

 

Jonny: “Chris?”

Chris: “JONNY!”

…

Chris: “Jonny!”

…

Chris: “Jonny!”

…

Chris: “Jonny!”

 

What a fool XD

 

Will: “Indeed! We finally have reunited the entire band!”

 

Jonny: “Yes, all three members of Coldplay are together again!”

 

Chris: “Oh, you two are the greatest band mates I could ever ask for! I would never want to play with anybody else!”

 

Yeah Coldplay is together again, woo!! :dance:

..wait, weren’t there four members?? .. NAH :lol: :D

 

Good lord, Corkus, you're killing me :laugh3::laugh3:

 

*WORSHIPS*

[In a telescope lens]

Awesome job!! I love it! hah hah I love how obsessed Chris is with Jonny

[butterfliesinjapan]

 

 

Jonny: “You don’t have to explain to me what going on; I see and know everything.”

 

Will suddenly slaps Jonny across the face.

 

Will: “You clearly didn’t see that.

 

Chris: “Jonny!”

 

 

:laugh3::lol::laugh3:

 

MORE!:dance: please:nice: