March 21, 200917 yr I was at a funeral today. I didn't really like it. Well duh, who likes funerals? Funerals can be a good thing, all though the situation is very unfortunate it is neat to see the way that they can bring family that has grown distance together, or bring old friends together. While there is loss, the strength of family and friendship is displayed. What I didn't like though was the way that it seemed really impersonal. I mean the preacher was basically giving a sermon and talking about himself rather than focusing on the life and the positive things about my friend's dad who died much much too young. So what would you like at your funeral? I would love mine to be a more open thing, sure have some structure such as somebody officiating. But I would love it to be a time where people could say what they would like to me outloud for everybody to hear. And I would love there to be music played, not just the same hymns that are always sung. But maybe somebody playing something of U2's All That You Can't Leave Behind. I know at funerals lots is going through peoples heads and lots of emotions are present. It would be nice if it was a time for sharing, reflecting and joy...openly rather than such a private thing.
March 21, 200917 yr i wouldnt want some preacher person. only people that i knew/that are family and friends. and they could take turns talking and stuff...or whatever. sorry about your friend's dad by the way. :(
March 21, 200917 yr Author I didn't really feel really sad or anything. Mostly because I didn't really know him that well. And I hadn't seen my friend in 4 years. But we were good friends back in jr. high.
March 21, 200917 yr Even worse is when you know it isn't quite what the person wanted. Egh. Also, I'd prefer my funeral to be a bit of a celebration of life, too. I mean heck, we can't just be moping about all the place, sure there is a time of grieving but there's a time of reflection and stuff where you realise life is precious etc etc I'm not sure I can explain my point well though
March 21, 200917 yr I've never been to a funeral. I haven't really thought about what I'd want mine to be like, but... I definitely want "Exitlude", by the Killers, to be played. I think it would be perfect.
March 21, 200917 yr Ive said before..i want the "Viva la Vida" song being played during my funeral :D Dont know why :D
March 21, 200917 yr I've been in many funerals and it depends of the family... in my family at the last funeral we had, everything was beautiful in the sense that we felt really supported... all our family and friends were there (even my entire school class :lol:), and it's nice to feel that you are not alone in that sad situation. Even if it's something natural, always will be devastating. I'd like my funeral to be about sharing happy memories about the time I spent with my family and friends, as simple as that... I'd also like some music, and everyone knows that I love music so probably I'd have some nice songs ... about the music thingy, I went to a high school teacher's funeral around 2 years ago, she was a great person and teacher and she was really young (she was just around 40 years old when she died, she had cancer) and they (the cemetery people who was organizing the funeral) used this random bad music which made everyone feel uncomfortable (and it totally ruined the moment), so probably I'd like to choose the music or at least I'd like that a close friend of mine would choose it well no one likes funerals, but I have to say that I hate even seeing funerals at tv, it brings me back some of the worst memories ever
March 21, 200917 yr Yeah, I'm not depressed or anything, but I've thought about it every so often. The subject is usually broached by a song actually. Songs like "Motion Picture Soundtrack", Brian Eno's "An Ending (Ascent)" or Sigur Ros's "Samskeyti". Basically any really powerful song fit for the end credits of the best movie ever. I suppose we think of our own funeral's when hearing songs that affect us strongly because, on the off chance that we should get run over by a car next week, we want the world to know the most about who we were and what we valued/loved. There are few things we value more in life than beauty, or what we find beautiful. Our favorite music is a vital part of who we are. They occupy our minds day after day. There are songs that we desperately wish everyone in the world could experience. So we fantasize about such songs being played at our funerals not just because they would be fitting, but because its a way of sharing with everyone you know a vital part of you who are by having them experience what you find truly beautiful. Sorry, that was kinda beside the point (I get carried away sometimes). As for my own funeral...I'd want it to be an intimate affair. Nothing as impersonal as what you described. Since I intend to die at a ripe old age of 111, I don't even want it to be a sad or remorseful. A time for people to reminisce, celebrate my many great accomplishments (inventing a Guitar/Ondes Martenot hybrid being one of them ;)) and the times we shared. There might be a priest or person organizing things, but most of the speaking should be done by family and friends. Not to be too self-centered but I would like a nice accurate account of my interests and life to be given (maybe I'll write it myself. Or save people the trouble and instead publish a very expensive memoir...). Something like... "Chris absolutely fell in love with the Sigur Ros album 'Agaetis Byrjun' In the winter of 2008. Let's all take a quick hour to listen and truly appreciate that whole album through the church loudspeakers....Chris's life was changed when he first heard 'Parachutes'...Next, a Radiohead B-side he came across by pure chance...etc" I'm joking of course, but it'd be cool to have a playlist of my absolute favorite songs run throughout the ceremony. I'll have to remember to put one together sometime...
March 21, 200917 yr I suppose we think of our own funeral's when hearing songs that affect us strongly because, on the off chance that we should get run over by a car next week, we want the world to know the most about who we were and what we valued/loved. There are few things we value more in life than beauty, or what we find beautiful. Our favorite music is a vital part of who we are. They occupy our minds day after day. There are songs that we desperately wish everyone in the world could experience. So we fantasize about such songs being played at our funerals not just because they would be fitting, but because its a way of sharing with everyone you know a vital part of you who are by having them experience what you find truly beautiful. +1,000
March 21, 200917 yr you are right on your first post Briggs, it's a good moments to meet all relatives and friends. uff i thought about that a lot some years ago, and i even had a list on my pocket of things i'd like people do once i die... :uhoh: i've lost that list somewhere :confused: i'm a christian catholic person so i don't complain about if a preacher or a priest is there, in fact i would accept a lil mass for me. (that's what i've seen in all funerals i've been to). One of my friends will be a priest in few years so there would be no impresonal speech there as he has been a friend of mine at high school and we know each other. i would like it would be played music that i llike too, and why not may be read some poem or something like that. but now i don't think too much about that.
March 21, 200917 yr Urgh, I hate it when preachers just talk about themselves... not just in funerals, but whenever. I would hate it if there were any preachers at my funeral. Mainly because I'm not really religious or anything, but also because they never seem to... say the right thing. I've only really been to visitations (not really funerals) but it's really icky when someone the person didn't even know talks about them. ick. :(
March 21, 200917 yr I don't want anyone to care, I believe in an afterlife, this life is only a small portion of what's yet to come.
March 21, 200917 yr I don't want people to be overly sad. Sure, it's okay if they are sad but it's just silly if everyone walks around quietly etc. I want people to think of all the good things i've said/done and laugh at them!
March 22, 200917 yr I've been to a lot of funerals and there's one thing I can't stand, no matter what you've done, in the end when you're dead everyone says you were a great person, no matter how mean those people were with you, and it's kinda annoying for me. So I told mom, that if I die before she does, to bury me ASAP, I don't want people faking the crying, or saying I was great and whatever cuz I am dead not cuz they really feel it. I'd like to know that people who really loved me are gonna be there, but I can't be sure it'll happen, so it's up to my mom mainly and I am sure she'll do the right thing, ot's up to her, if I die after mom does... I have no idea how my funeral'd be!:uhoh:
March 22, 200917 yr I just know that either Amsterdam or Fix You is going to be played;) Are you copying me? :D I'm not religious so I want only family members and close friends to do the speech things. Anybody could come. I don't want it to be a completely sad event. Life is a great thing and I would like everybody to have nice memories about me. If I did some bad things, I didn't mean to hurt anybody. But I don't want anybody to feel forced to come to my funeral. And nothing big. People thinking of the moments we spent together, great things we shared, memories they have. And a goodbye. That's all. Writing this was kinda weird. :uhoh: And now after a few hours I'll probably remember some more things that I could write in this thread, but, oh well. :)
March 22, 200917 yr I don't believe in all that garbage they do to a body. I hope they just put me in a pine (wood) coffin. They can skip the makeup and the chemical treatments, which just strikes me as gross. Also I want my funeral to be short, but there can be a party afterwords where the mood is upbeat. And there should be lots of really good food! Life is for the living, so I hope I don't annoy people after I'm dead. ;)
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