What do the British do when they've won the World Cup?

Turn off their Playstations. (Chris's joke).

 

I remember that one ... :laugh3: ... it's true though.

:laugh3:so:P

I love this thread! :D I suck at these jokes, so keep cranking them out, everyone!!! :P

I choked with laughter on my Toblerone when I read the Virgin Islands joke.

 

*waits for cake jokes to come flooding in*

That Virgin Islands joke is soooooooooo old.

Coldplay went to perform on the Virgin Islands. When they left, they were just "The Islands."

 

:laugh3:

:P

I love this thread.

:laugh3:

when coldplay goes swimming they dont get wet, the water gets coldplayed

I love Chris' jokes xD

Lol xD "Really?.. wich bank?"

I choked with laughter on my Toblerone when I read the Virgin Islands joke.

 

*waits for cake jokes to come flooding in*

 

Hee. Cake. :wink3:

I think Chris told this joke when they were at TV Total, a German tv show. It was cute to see that Chris didn't really like this joke. A reporter had told him that.

 

EDIT:

btw. I like this thread, it was a really good idea, but I'm not good at jokes either :confused: sorry

Thanks for making this thread, Great jokes :happy2:

You people are awesome :lol:

:awesome:

I'm gonna try to make a joke.... :thinking:

Im horrible at making jokes!

I can't believe I never saw this thread before, lol.

 

What do you get when you cross Chris' wife with a chicken?

 

 

Gwyneth Poultry. :p

 

^hehehehehehe

Guy Berryman lost his virginity before his own father.

After hours of arguing over dinner, Chris Martin and JAYZ walk into a London pub. Chris Martin hands the bartender a roll of bills, and explains that him and Jay are having a martini drinking contest. "Keep them coming!" yells Chris.

 

Round one, the bartender makes two HUGE red martinis.

"What flavor is this?" asks JayZ.

"England's best Strawberry Martini," the gentleman explains.

 

Both chug their drinks, then they're ready for round two.

 

Next, the bartender presents two blue martinis in the same large glasses.

"What flavor is this?" asks JayZ.

"England's best Raspberry Martini."

 

Although a bit slower, Chris and JayZ stay neck-in-neck while chugging their drinks.

 

Finally, the bartender hands the boys two dark brown martinis, sloshing around in beer mugs. Chris chuckles and JayZ looks petrified.

"Do you want to know what this one is?" Chris asks with a quirky grin.

"I'm kind of scared to find out. I should probably just get it over with." says JayZ.

 

Both boys start their drinks, but Jay immediately stops and dashes to the bathroom. A few moments later, he stumbles back into the room with a look of pure shame.

 

The bartender and Chris smile. "It's okay, not everyone can handle Glaston-berry."

Just found this in the internet. It made me smile :D

 

girlfriend: what are you listening to?

boyfriend: coldplay

girlfriend: what are you watching?

boyfriend: coldplay videos

girlfriend: what do you like the most?

boyfriend: YOU.

girlfriend: awwww..really?

boyfriend: NOPE, coldplay.

" How many members of Coldplay can you get into a mini?

 

 

All four -- it's a four-seated vehicle, so it's actually fairly straightforward.”

 

 

^That's how I found it too.:)