This guy changed my life

[Brent]

Sorry this is so long. I just had to tell someone about it (get it out of my mind and into the open), and you guys are pretty cool. So here you go. I don't really know what I wanted to accomplish by posting it: Whether it's meant for discussion or just consumption. Maybe neither. But something makes me want to tell the story.

 

_

 

The other day, I went out to a bar with a professor/mentor that I spend a lot of time with. He’s awesome. Anyway, we were at said bar for a while, and we met a few people there. They were all pretty neat, so when it was time for my professor to go, I decided to stay with this group for a while. I’m pretty outgoing and I love meeting new people/having new experiences.

 

So I spent quite a bit of time with this group. They all came by themselves to the bar, but I think they knew each other already because they frequent the location. It was a new kind of place to me because I’m pretty young (in college) and I generally go out to bars and clubs that are overcrowded, loud, and low on camaraderie.

 

After a while I met a man who was a little more reserved than the others, and I started talking to him during a lull on the conversation. He looked about 35 years old (I think…I never bothered to ask his age). And, after a little while of small talk, I was able to learn that he was a minister at a local church. While I’m not a religious person per se (I consider myself more spiritual than institutionalized), I am fascinated by people who essentially volunteer their lives to work to spread the word of God (whatever that may be).

 

I started to talk to him about a myriad of issues pertaining to faith, glory, idealism, etc. The man is very clearly passionate about his position. He volunteers his extra time to helping the local community. He’s very charitable and selfless: Definitely more of a man than I’ll ever be, that’s for certain. And, judging by the time we spent together talking about faith before he pried his charity work, he was extremely humble. I found this man simply inspiring.

 

Later, he told me the caveat: He is not just a minister. He’s a gay minister. When he told me this, he was less confident than he had previously been. The bottle in his hand shook with wavering caution and his eye contact, which was previously intensely confident, became cold and distant. In fact, he told me that I was the first person he's told in Columbia (despite just learning who I am...which is weird).

 

So I, observing the shift in behavior (and understanding the obviously controversial issue at hand), asked him why he was so wary about his identity.

 

He went on to tell me about his past. He was raised by a very religious family. So, obviously, God and spirituality was a very big part of his life. He realized that he was gay when he was about 14 years old, and, while trying to suppress it with Godliness, ignorance and selflessness, nothing worked. He eventually became sort-of comfortable with his identity, asked God for forgiveness, and continued. When he was a lost 17-year-old, he decided to come out to his parents, explaining that he’s confident that God made him that way. His parents were historically very kind and generous, smothering him and his brother with love and unyielding devotion. The next day, he was staying at a friend’s house because his parents, who had been supportive and loving until this point, kicked him out. He was left to fend for himself.

 

Eventually, with a lot of hard work, he put himself through college in rural Missouri, and went to graduate school in Divination after deciding to become a minister. He paid his own way through college because he hadn’t talked to his parents since that incident. Throughout this part of his life, he shunned his sexual identity and stifled its development. His entire existence has thusfar been undercut through negativity.

 

After college, he moved to Oklahoma to preach. He left Missouri behind him; not because it was particularly hateful, but because he associated it with darkness. He began his new life in Oklahoma.

 

He preached there for a while. Known for his captivating sermons and impeccable wording, he quickly rose up the ranks. While he thinks that the Bible’s traditional interpretation was fatally flawed, he gave very different types of sermonic speeches. As one of the higher-ranking ministers in the church, he spent ALL his time with these people: He was in charge of the youth ministry and overseeing the youth summer camps. People trusted him and he was considered an integral part of the community, it seemed. When he wasn’t working, he was volunteering, feeding people and raising capital for the charitable organization. He shook up the religious identity of the town and was quite loved. So, naturally, because he was comfortable and welcomed by a big group of people, he decided to come out as a gay minister.

 

He lived there for another year, but to him, work was never the same. He was stripped of his position as associate minister and was not allowed to volunteer with children or young adults. A year later, as he slept, a group of religious extremists burned his home to the ground. He was, essentially, labeled as an inhuman pervert and chased from the town. This took place in 2001.

 

He has since moved about the Midwest as a guest minister, staying for about a year at a time at different locations. Only recently he has settled down in my town (where I go to university) and works for a local church. He attends many mission trips with high-school-aged young adults: All of whom believe he is a giant life force on them. He inspires people.

 

However, because of his past experiences, he is not “out” as a gay man. He was forced to change his name in order to keep spreading the word of God: Something, to me, that is extremely noble. Dropping everything that makes him himself on a mission to reflect what he’s passionate about. He’s probably one of the best, most quality people that I have ever met.

 

Over these times, he had been in a few (obviously very discreet) relationships with other men. It’s unrealistic to completely rule out that part of someone’s lives (he told me that that’s why he thinks the Catholic system is broken, and why it’s changing so quickly, citing the many cases of infidelity with their priests). He had a boyfriend a total of about 4 years, only to have his heart broken when he learned the man had been married. He didn’t go into this part of the story, but something tells me there’s more to it than that.

 

So, after telling me his story, it was about 2am and the bar was closing so I went out and took a walk with the guy. I asked him, quite simply, why he was still so religious after it seemed that humanity was against him and his identity. SO many times he’s been fucked over by various religious bodies, and SO many times he’s had to pick himself up and move. Essentially, he’s not allowed to be himself. Ever.

 

He just looked at me and told me that it’s worth it.

 

He lightened up. While I’m not overtly, institutionally religious, I could identify with the guy. He was so passionate about his job and about his identity that it’s worth giving up everything over and over again just to feed that flame. I’m honored to know him. I'm hoping to talk to him more.

 

I was pretty annoyed that evening, anyway, due to a couple girl issues I had, and problems I’ve had determining my future. I cheered up quickly after meeting this man. None of my problems, ever, will compare to the shit that this person has been through, just to do what he thinks is right. He’s come back from nothing so many times. To me, that’s incredible.

 

 

 

/ridiculously long post

[Batman]

I just read your post and say Thank You, because that was a very inspiring and moving story, and I'm very happy that you took your time and wrote it down :)

[Brent]

Oh, it was my pleasure. :)

[getithom]

That guy definitely is inspiring. It's incredible how he continues to minister despite what he goes through.

 

Thank you, Brent.

[ColdplayingfromKansas]

I just read your post and say Thank You, because that was a very inspiring and moving story, and I'm very happy that you took your time and wrote it down :)

 

I was thinking the exact same thing :)

 

It's times when I hear about people like this that my faith in humanity is restored. The fact that he was able to put aside everything for his faith is really, really amazing.

 

Thanks for doing this, Brent :)

[Brent]

Thank you, Brent.

 

Thanks for doing this, Brent :)

 

No, really, it the pleasure is all mine.

 

I felt so liberated after talking to him. Not because of his story, but because of the WAY he told me his story. It was not self-loathing, nor was it vain in any sense. Nor was it peppered with judgement. It was, simply, a tough story about humanity. How he keeps going, finding the will, I'll never know.

 

I'm trying to keep in touch with him. Not so that I can use him just to be awed and fascinated by, but so that we can be friends. I like people with depth, and I admire this man greatly. I wish I could give him something back, but sadly, I have nothing. Oh well.

[Crests]

cool cat right here

[ashleyMN28]

Very good story. That man is really brave to have lived his life the way he has, trying to be honest about who he is. He truly is a man who loves his faith. I hope things get better for him and people start being more accepting of him as he is. And I personally have to say this-him being gay does NOT make him a bad person. I can't believe this poor kind-hearted man got treated the way he did based off of his sexuality.

[Kiame]

I personally think the story is more depressing than uplifting, but I'm glad you were motivated and inspired by him - that's all that counts.

 

You're the bestest :)

[Brent]

I personally think the story is more depressing than uplifting, but I'm glad you were motivated and inspired by him - that's all that counts.

 

You're the bestest :)

 

Well, yeah, but who says a depressing story can't be uplifting? It's depressing obviously because the guy is largely rejected, but he rejects that rejection and does his calling anyway. He thinks it's worth it.

 

And just the way he was talking to me indicates that despite everything he's still optimistic: About himself, his surroundings, and his spirituality (something I can't even say I'm happy with myself...and I'm a lot less complicated).

 

Sorry I'm talking so much. :escaping:

 

And you're better so shut up okay :dazzled:

[Comicforce]

No, really, it the pleasure is all mine.

 

I felt so liberated after talking to him. Not because of his story, but because of the WAY he told me his story. It was not self-loathing, nor was it vain in any sense. Nor was it peppered with judgement. It was, simply, a tough story about humanity. How he keeps going, finding the will, I'll never know.

 

I'm trying to keep in touch with him. Not so that I can use him just to be awed and fascinated by, but so that we can be friends. I like people with depth, and I admire this man greatly. I wish I could give him something back, but sadly, I have nothing. Oh well.

 

But you do have something to give Brent, you have your friendship. :)

 

Lovely story, I'm glad you shared it.

[Brent]

But you do have something to give Brent, you have your friendship. :)

 

Lovely story, I'm glad you shared it.

 

Haha, I wouldn't call it "lovely" in any sense. It's pretty terrible.

 

But it's nice that he's still an optimist.

[gotcheese2768]

interesting read. thank you.

[coldplayfan_115]

Definitely an inspiring story. Thanks. :)

[trinest]

Nice post, was an interesting read.

[jeremyy]

i'm gonna post the same words because of my English :sick:; it was an interesting & moving read.

[Mrk]

There should be more people like that in the world

[LoryABjerre]

Thanks lightfull post Brent ;)

 

I do not know but I feel that the communities away faith in a God means that main commandment is the first. Love and Tolerance.

 

you know I think you can help both with this friendship.

 

this person needs to be listened and guided in life because he is lost. you can to open the horizon and the perspective there really is a power of God that power does not life in religious communities love and tolerance is not met, and this is the first commandment of the Bible come from others commandments

 

and you need a flexible and empathetic person because you have lost your soul, too rigid perfectionist in life, no understanding of others you are not a zombie. and yes this man has saved he opened his empathy for you. because you were capable of empathy. a gift.

 

you know souls are spiritual people who live and real events in the real name of greatness of souls is not a bible stories and scripts modified outdated .

[sarahwishful]

I think this is a very uplighting post, thank you for sharing. Now for a bit of cheer watch this guys!! It will cheer any sad person up.

 

:D:D:D:D

[Alien Radio]

Wow

That was really inspiring

 

Thank you, Brent :surprised:

 

I'm really sorry for him... But his soul, his heart, his humanity and courage are really... motivating. There should really be more people like him.

[Brent]

this person needs to be listened and guided in life because he is lost. you can to open the horizon and the perspective there really is a power of God that power does not life in religious communities love and tolerance is not met, and this is the first commandment of the Bible come from others commandments

 

you know souls are spiritual people who live and real events in the real name of greatness of souls is not a bible stories and scripts modified outdated .

 

That's the thing though– He knows EXACTLY what he's doing in life. He's so happy, despite everything. He still has faith in said love and tolerance, and he has forgiven those who have forsaken him. He's so full of love.

 

I think, when examining my life and my psyche, I'm more lost than he. This, to me, speaks volumes.

[Cyan Kat]

That is one amazing story

[taameen**sparks**]

Agreed. Very inspiring. Thank you for sharing Brent!

[EmmaLouiseSmyth]

That's such an amazing story... and an even more amazing guy it seems.

[Brent]

I'm meeting with him next week so we can talk more. Right now he's apparently on a mission trip, which is awesome. I have a sneaking suspicion he knows the meaning of life.