Rowan: (in role play) i don't care, it's not my shift

David: (in role play) i think you will care when i tell you my complaint.

Rowan: not interested

David: -- I think there's been a rape up there!

 

That's my favourite episode EVER.

 

It's rickey Gervais' and Stephen Merchant's too :)

 

SO FUNNY when he says that and everyone just looks shocked.

I GOT SOME.. HOT LOOOOOOVE ON THE HOT LOVE HIGHWAY!!!

:lol:

 

The team building exercises with the fox and chicken etc etc lol...

Rowan: Gareth, quick test exercise, ultimate fantasy?

Gareth: hmm?

Rowan: We’re just doing the ultimate fantasy, we’re all doing it.

Gareth: Two lesbians probably, sisters. I’m just watching.

(beat)

Rowan: ok... um, Tim? Do you have one?

Tim: I’d never thought I’d have to say this, but can I hear more from Gareth please?

 

 

This also made me laugh.....like everything in The Office...

 

David: I froze your tears and made a dagger,

and stabbed it in my cock forever.

It stays there like Excalibur,

Are you my Arthur?

Say you are.

Take this cool dark steeled blade,

Steal it, sheath it, in your lake.

I'd drown with you to be together.

Must you breathe? Cos I need Heaven."

I posted that poem in the poets thread months ago and nobody even quoted me on it and laughed :cry:

 

it was a sad day in coldplaying :P

zomg where was I?! :o

 

I was watching the Christmas Specials the other day... his duster/cloth demonstration was so funny.

 

and....

 

David: If they loved me why are they throwing stuff? Throwing water, plastic bottles, underpants?! One bloke threw a pair of Y-fronts, hit me in the face, and I knew it was Nutella or Marmite he'd smudged on the gusset. But it was still him going 'that's what we think of you mate. You're shit.'.

Pete: Where did he get the Marmite from? He must have prepared that from home 'cos he knew you were on.

David: Well, that doesn't make me feel any better? Why say that?

 

The whole Austin Powers costume bit too :lol:

:lol:

 

I wanna watch it now

I know, so do I!

The Office is so great. I go to uni quite near Slough (I know, great!!! :lol: ) and my friend from the area said one day she'd show me the industrial estate where they filmed the outside of the building......LMAO!!! Would be kinda funny.

 

some more:

 

Tim: We were wondering if a military man like you, a soldier, er, could you give a man a lethal blow?

Gareth: If I was forced to, I could. If it was absolutely necessary, if he was attacking me.

Tim: What if he was coming, really hard?

Gareth: Yeah, if my life was in danger, yeah.

Dawn: And do you always imagine doing it face to face with a bloke, or could you take a man from behind?

Gareth: Either way's easy.

Dawn: So you could take a man from behind?

Gareth: Yeah.

Dawn: Lovely.

 

:laugh2:

 

Im sorry, but have to post my all time favourite one again

 

Gareth: If you’re so clever, what am I thinking now?

Tim: You’re thinking "how can I kill a tiger armed only with a biro?"

Gareth: No.

Tim: You’re thinking "if I crash land in a jungle will I be able to eat my own shoes?"

Gareth: No. And you can’t

Tim: What are you thinking Gareth?

Gareth: I was just wondering whether will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark.

Janitor: Guys, come on I'm the only one giving the evil eye. We worked on this. Hey, Ted your giving sad eye.

Ted: It's all I've got!

---

Janitor: Some hooligan keeps disconnecting the alarm. I told Security to look into it. But no, no, they'd rather catch the guy who's stealing organs from the transplant ward.

---

J.D.: This, this isn't like being a janitor, okay! It's not just like something everybody can do.

Janitor: Oh. So you can do my stuff, but I can't do yours?

J.D.: Yes!

Janitor: Okay, hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor?

J.D.: I don't know... the... rough side of a sponge?

[silence]

Janitor: Dammit.

---

J.D.: Look, uh... Janitor...

[the Janitor rolls his eyes]

J.D.: ...I'm gonna be straight with you: I saw your penis, and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.

Janitor: When did you see my penis?

J.D.: Last night, when you were showering.

Janitor: Where were you?

J.D.: Oh, I was outside, in the bushes.

[the Janitor takes a second to process this answer]

Janitor: Uhhh...

J.D.: Look, it was just a coincidence, man - I mean, i-i-if you had looked out the window, you'd have seen my penis, you know!

Janitor: What? Why?

J.D.: Because I had it out while I was looking at yours!

 

Haha, this is hilarious! Janitor is a genius! Or Dr. Jan Itor :D.

Todd(in operation room)-"Nurse, suction!"

Nurse-"The patients not even here yet"

Todd-"I know"

Was watching season 6 last night and this made me laugh out loud for about 20 minutes!

 

Dr. Cox: What's up bob-o?

 

Dr. Kelso: The damned interweb is down again! I mean where am I supposed to go for sexual gratification? My invalid wife!?

^^ :laugh3:

This scene cracks me up everytime :laugh3:.

AWESOME avatar! :D

Haha, thanks :D! Yours not bad either :D!

Another magic moment with Uncle Bob in Scrubs tonight:

 

Dr Kelso: Hi, I'm Bob Kelso, I like whores!

 

:laugh3::laugh3::laugh3::laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

Was watching season 6 last night and this made me laugh out loud for about 20 minutes!

 

Dr. Cox: What's up bob-o?

 

Dr. Kelso: The damned interweb is down again! I mean where am I supposed to go for sexual gratification? My invalid wife!?

:laugh3:

Interweb:dozey:

 

This scene cracks me up everytime :laugh3:.

Yeah me too

Just saw this from Scrubs:

 

Janitor: "My wife slaved over these shorts!"

JD: "She just hemmed a pair of scrubs."

Janitor: "Well unfortunately my wife wasn't blessed with all 10 fingers. She just has pointer, and thumb-pinky."

 

 

Classic:laugh3:

^ Hahaha :laugh3:

 

Perry classic:

 

Carla : You're the only one who can stand up to Kelso.

Dr.Cox : Ladies and gentleman, aloud me to present: Man not caring *funny face*.

^ Hahaha :laugh3:

 

Perry classic:

 

Carla : You're the only one who can stand up to Kelso.

Dr.Cox : Ladies and gentleman, aloud me to present: Man not caring *funny face*.

Yeah!:laugh3:

 

 

Another good one:

 

Dr. Kelso: "Maybe next time you should try a lawyer who didn't need 5 tries to pass the BAR exam."

Ted: "I have stress-induced dyslexia and you know that Dr. Oslek."

That 70's Show

 

 

Hyde: "Wow, staying at my dad's house. It'll be like the childhood I never had."

Hyde's newfound father: "And I won't be there, it'll be like the childhood you did have."

Yeah!:laugh3:

 

 

Another good one:

 

Dr. Kelso: "Maybe next time you should try a lawyer who didn't need 5 tries to pass the BAR exam."

Ted: "I have stress-induced dyslexia and you know that Dr. Oslek."

 

^ :laugh3:

 

Janitor again! This is so hilarious! It can't be told!

 

:D

Does stand-up count?

 

Just watching Dara O'Briain talking about MP3 players: his holds 1600 albums but he only owns 90:

 

"My MP3 player sits in my house and stares at me, forlorn and sullen... like a wife who gave up her career and the kids turned out shite"

 

:laugh3:

I make no apologies for posting another Scrubs quote as we clearly all love it.

 

Dr Kelso and Ted are discussing a collegue who is leaving his job because of ill health:

 

Ted: Oh dear, should we send him a card?

Kelso: Absolutely! See if you can find one that says 'Crippling arthritis or not, I want you out of my hospital by sundown so I can knock down your wall and make myself a giant office'

This makes me laugh more than anything else in the whole WORLD!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nN1cL4fT-zw

Stephen Merchant steals every single scene he's in!

 

Genius :laugh3:

I know! :lol:

 

the funniest bit is when andy chats her up at the end though.

:laugh3:

 

the first time I saw it I did a little cry of laughter :P