"I've been watching you secretly without you knowing..." :laugh3:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjaa6GRR1ls

"George! Can you get us some vaseline!"

^ the bit where he gets the whisk and he's like "oh no, well that's just mashing it up!" then he gets it in his eye. :lol:

or when he's like "oh for fucks sake!" :laugh3:

I was gonna mention the poo/whisk incident LMAO!!!!

Just watching a really old Friends where Ross is trying to track down Marcel the monkey and the Zoo boss tells him he died:

 

"Mr Geller, there's an old saying... sometimes monkeys die. It's not a great saying, but it certainly is fitting today"

Just watching a really old Friends where Ross is trying to track down Marcel the monkey and the Zoo boss tells him he died:

 

"Mr Geller, there's an old saying... sometimes monkeys die. It's not a great saying, but it certainly is fitting today"

 

:lol:

 

from the whole nine yards:

 

[JImmy (bruce Willis) and Oz (Matthew Perry) are talking whilst overlooking the whole city)

 

Jimmy: So you happy living here Oz?

 

Oz: oh no... I live here with my wife!

Any of Phoebe Buffay's greatest hits:

 

Smelly Cat

 

Little Black Curly Hair

 

The Cow In The Meadow Goes Moo

And not forgetting her christmas hit :P

Any of Phoebe Buffay's greatest hits:

 

Smelly Cat

 

Little Black Curly Hair

 

The Cow In The Meadow Goes Moo

 

I love Phoebe and her songs:

 

I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song

Stop me if you've heard it.

My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet,

and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.

 

--------

 

I made a snowman with eyes of coal

and a smile so bewitchin'.

How was I supposed to know

that my mom was dead in the kitchen?

La lalala laaa la lala La lalala la la...

 

--------

 

Now, Grandma's a person who everyone likes,

She bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike.

But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner,

And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.

Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru,

But the truth is she died and some day you will too.

 

--------

 

Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo,

Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo.

Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,

And that's how we get hamburgers.

 

--------

 

First time I met Chandler

I thought he was gay,

But here I am singing

on his wedding day.

 

--------

 

And there's a country called Argentina,

It's a place I've never seen.

But I'm told for 50 pesos,

You can buy a human spleen,

 

:laugh3: :laugh3: :laugh3:

 

http://www.friends-tv.org/ph-songs.html

BUMP-A-LICIOUS

 

The Todd is not listening to what turk is saying to him.

 

The Todd (voiceover): Oh man, has he been talking all this time? He needs a high five but what one? 'It's hard being black five?' - 'I'm here for you five'? no, wait -- I'll just take the last word he says and add a five to it!

 

Turk: ...I'm just going through some bad times.

 

The Todd: Bad times five!

 

*they high five*

 

Turk: thanks man, you always know the right thing to say.

 

The Todd: hey! -- I work hard on that!

:lol:

 

I was watching that the other day :nice:

^ I was watching that yesterday! Haha it was awesome :lol: !

Anyone watch "How I Met Your Mother"?

 

Just watching the ep where Barney makes everyone watch his really bad play because he had to see Lily's"

 

"Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist."

 

:laugh3:

 

("Apologies if you've not seen it, 'cos I realise that won't make sense - but trust me, it's funny!)

hahah! I've never seen that ep, but I love that show.

thing is, I never know when it's on.

 

it airs on bbc 2 right?

Yeah, but they play it like they did with Seinfeld - you can never guess what day or time it's going to be on next.

 

They show two eps at 9pm on Trouble, if you've got digital.

 

And as you know the show, to explain the above, Lily hates the word "moist" so while she's sat in the front row at his play, Barney stands in front of her and just repeats "Moist" for 20 minutes.

 

The whole of Barney's play is one of the funniest things I've ever seen - I had tears rolling down my face the first time I saw it. Neil Patrick Harris is amazing.

 

I love Barney! "Suit up!"

I just killed you with a Daewoo Lanos, mothafucka!!!

 

- Red, Pineapple Express

Dodgeball:

 

White goodman: hey! I'm white!- y'know! I'm white!..... W--H--I--T..............E!

---

 

White Goodman: Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.

 

Peter La Fleur: Alliteration aside, I'll take my chances in the tournament.

 

White Goodman: Yeah, you will take your chances.

 

Peter La Fleur: I know. I just said that.

 

White Goodman: I know you just said that.

 

Peter La Fleur: Okay, I'm not sure where you're going with this.

 

White Goodman: Well, I'm not sure where you're going with this.

 

Peter La Fleur: That's what I said.

 

White Goodman: That's what I'm saying to you.

 

Peter La Fleur: All right.

 

White Goodman: ...Touché.

 

--

Kate Veatch: That... is a really interesting painting. (indicating a large painting on the wall of White wrestling s bull)

 

White Goodman: Thank you. Yeah, that's me, taking the bull by the horns. It's how I handle business. It's a metaphor.

 

Kate Veatch: I get it.

 

White Goodman: But that actually happened, though

--

 

White Goodman: We should mate.

 

Kate Veatch: What?

 

White Goodman: Date! We should date some time. Socially. Go out and kick it.

 

[Kate retches, then forces it down]

 

White Goodman: Are you okay?

 

Kate Veatch: I'm fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

 

White Goodman: In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I never been there, but I read about it... in a book.

Not a quote, but a really funny moment:

 

Just seen the episode where Janice goes back to her husband and Chandler is left singing "Endless Love" in his apartment!

 

:)

 

And that happens just after they poke "Ugly Naked Guy" with the giant poking device!

Tony Blair was on The Daily Show on Thursday and Jon Stewart was asking him why he converted to catholicism. Blair responded that his wife and children were catholic, so he thought he would convert.

 

Jon Stewart: I'm Jewish and my wife is Catholic so we're just raising our children to be sad :laugh3:

Pretty much anything ever said on Arrested Development

anything ever said on fawlty towers,little britain.

Dodgeball:

 

White goodman: hey! I'm white!- y'know! I'm white!..... W--H--I--T..............E!

---

 

White Goodman: Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.

 

Peter La Fleur: Alliteration aside, I'll take my chances in the tournament.

 

White Goodman: Yeah, you will take your chances.

 

Peter La Fleur: I know. I just said that.

 

White Goodman: I know you just said that.

 

Peter La Fleur: Okay, I'm not sure where you're going with this.

 

White Goodman: Well, I'm not sure where you're going with this.

 

Peter La Fleur: That's what I said.

 

White Goodman: That's what I'm saying to you.

 

Peter La Fleur: All right.

 

White Goodman: ...Touché.

 

--

Kate Veatch: That... is a really interesting painting. (indicating a large painting on the wall of White wrestling s bull)

 

White Goodman: Thank you. Yeah, that's me, taking the bull by the horns. It's how I handle business. It's a metaphor.

 

Kate Veatch: I get it.

 

White Goodman: But that actually happened, though

--

 

White Goodman: We should mate.

 

Kate Veatch: What?

 

White Goodman: Date! We should date some time. Socially. Go out and kick it.

 

[Kate retches, then forces it down]

 

White Goodman: Are you okay?

 

Kate Veatch: I'm fine. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

 

White Goodman: In some cultures, they only eat vomit. I never been there, but I read about it... in a book.

 

HAHA! My brother and I use those dodgeball qotes all the time! How convenient for you...and the clock!

There's a funny one from Zoolander I love

 

Hansel: ...so why don't you just "Derelick" my balls?

Zoolander: I can Derelick my own balls, thank you very much.

 

:laugh2:

From 30 Rock:

 

Frank: Taking Liz’s food is not good.

[Flashback]

Liz: Where’s my mac and cheese?!!? [Flips over table]

[End Flashback]

 

Frank: They buy us these sandwiches. Oh such sandwiches! And the dipping sauce!! Oh joy! God bless us, everyone!

 

Both are from the Sandwich Day episode. :P

From Will & Grace:

 

Jack and Karen are deciding what birthday present to buy Will

 

Karen: So what are we going to get Lady Gay?