:laugh3: :laugh3: :laugh3: BANANA AND NOAH

 

HAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

Now would be a good time for R#43 to dispel the rumours and confirm that the leak is indeed real :laugh3:

:laugh3::lol::lol:

Roadie #43 – Blog #3

June 8, 2010

#43 interviews "Chris Martin"

 

In between binging sessions, Roadie #43 has managed to catch up with Chris Martin! Now, some of you may be a bit skeptical of this interview, especially since there are, indeed, many people in the world named "Chris Martin", but Roadie #43 assures us that he went through a very through identification procedure. Whether that procedure was done under the influence, nobody knows. Regardless, enjoy the interview!

 

R#43: “Good to see you, Chris.”

 

Chris: “It’s good to see you too, Millard.”

 

R#43: “Now, first things first. You ARE the real Chris Martin, correct?”

 

Chris: “Well, you’re the real Roadie #42, aren’t you?”

 

R#43: “Uh, yeah, sure, why not.”

 

Chris: “Listen, this had better be quick. My daughter, Banana, has a recital later today.”

 

R#43: “Don’t you mean Apple?”

 

Chris: “That’s what I said, wasn’t it?”

 

R#43: “Are you sure you’re not just some James Morrison-type doppelganger?”

 

Chris: “Depends on how much I’m being paid for this interview!”

 

R#43: “Let’s move on. How is the new material coming along?”

 

Chris: “Oh, it sounds fantastic! Just to make things even more experimental, we put Jonny on the drums and Will on bass just to mix things up a little, you know. As for me, I’ve decided to take up playing the triangle!”

 

R#43: “That’s fascinating, Chris! How involved is Brian Eno on the production side?”

 

Chris: “Oh, that old bum? Every time I would play something, that bald coot would yell at me for being too overdone and similar to past material. So we replaced him with a scarecrow. After all, we do plan on starting a new musical – and spiritual - revolution that will usher in a new age of enlightenment and prosperity!”

 

R#43: “Mmm hmm. Any ideas yet for a title for the next album?”

 

Chris: “Well, so far the material has sort of a rainbow-y feel to it, so we were thinking something along the lines of ’In Rainbows’.”

 

R#43: “Wow, what an incredibly original and inspiring name!”

 

Chris: “Yeah, it’s pretty awesome.”

 

R#43: “So, this apparent leak…is it real? Is that truly your voice?”

 

Chris: “I could tell you…but then I’d have to kill you.”

 

R#43: “Some of our readers at Coldplaying.com had some questions for you, Chris. Coldplaying@Hogwarts asks if Jonny’s favorite food really is cake.”

 

Chris: “Oh my, yes! The entire reason Jonny got married is so he could have the world’s biggest wedding cake! He even says he wants to purposely divorce and re-marry his wife over and over again just so he can keep having gigantic cakes made for him!”

 

R#43: “That’s a brilliant idea! He should marry all sorts of fangirls just so he can have cake! Everyone’s a winner!”

 

Chris: “I know, right?”

 

R#43: “Totally. Moving on, MelColdplay on Twitter wants to know what you think about Latin American fans.”

 

Chris: “They’re the best fans in the world! Every time we play there, they just get louder and louder! It’s a darn good thing they know what the phrase ‘Viva La Vida’ actually translates to, because I sure as hell don’t!”

 

R#43: “She would also like to know what your biggest fault is.”

 

Chris: “Well, to be quite honest, I don’t think I’m nearly deserving of the success that Coldplay has gotten. In fact, I think we suck. But mostly I’m ashamed of the fact that I won’t ever be able to appease all my adoring fangirls with whatever dirty favors they may want from me. I just too loyal to my wife, Anne Hathaway.”

 

R#43: “You mean Gwyneth Paltrow? You know, for someone who claims to be the real Chris Martin, you sure are forgetful of family names!”

 

Chris: “Hey, I’m a rock star! It doesn’t matter what you or Will Berryman think!”

 

R#43: “Okay, then, prove it. Say something only the real Chris Martin would say.”

 

Chris: “My balls hurt.”

 

R#43: “Hmm…it’s true that Chris DOES like to talk about his balls a lot. Good enough for me!”

 

Chris: “No, I wasn’t answering your question! My balls really do hurt!”

 

R#43: “You're a funny guy, Chris. Time for one final question that we ask all our guests in our interviews – What is your favorite Coldplay song?”

 

Chris: “Where the Streets Have No Name.”

 

R#43: “Wow, me too! Hey wait, I thought…”

 

Chris: (yawning) “Well, I gotta run now. Catch ya later!”

 

R#43: “Oh, uh, thanks Chris! There you have it, folks, an exclusive interview with the one and only Chris Martin…I think. I’m gonna go get hammered after a long day of doing nothing productive. Toodles!”

The triangle! Ha! Chris is way too ADHD for that.

Thanks R#43 for the interview...

"It doesn’t matter what you or Will Berryman think!” :lol:

hahahahah great interview!! :D

This is the only reason why I'll ever come into the Coldplay section of the forum.

 

Pure fucking genius.

"R#43: Say something only the real Chris Martin would say.

 

Chris: My balls hurt.

 

R#43: Hmm…it’s true that Chris DOES like to talk about his balls a lot. Good enough for me!

 

Chris: No, I wasn’t answering your question! My balls really do hurt!”

 

 

LOL :laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

hahaha , Anne Hathaway , haha , Bananaand Noah???

Where the streets have no name??¿¿¿

DEAR GOD , awesomeeeeeeeee

''Chris: ''Listen, this had better be quick. My daughter, Banana, has a recital later today.''

''...I just too loyal to my wife, Anne Hathaway.''

:laugh3:

Chris is really very funny! :lol::lol::lol:

the cake jonny part :lol::lol:

:lol: Oh, Roadie #43... Great interview! :P

hahah amaazing)))

R#43: “Some of our readers at Coldplaying.com had some questions for you, Chris. Coldplaying@Hogwarts asks if Jonny’s favorite food really is cake.”

 

Chris: “Oh my, yes! The entire reason Jonny got married is so he could have the world’s biggest wedding cake! He even says he wants to purposely divorce and re-marry his wife over and over again just so he can keep having gigantic cakes made for him!”

 

R#43: “That’s a brilliant idea! He should marry all sorts of fangirls just so he can have cake! Everyone’s a winner!”

 

Chris: “I know, right?”

 

Did I ever mention that I am a professional cake decorator? :wink3: See I am ment to be with Jonny. :D

I want to see Chris playing the triangle:laugh3::laugh3:

 

thank you R#43:kiss:

Chris: “They’re the best fans in the world! Every time we play there, they just get louder and louder! It’s a darn good thing they know what the phrase ‘Viva La Vida’ actually translates to, because I sure as hell don’t!”

 

 

Chris: “Hey, I’m a rock star! It doesn’t matter what you or Will Berryman think!”

 

:lol:

Ah it's just awesome and amazing :lol:

And I want Chris to play the triangle too :D

just wasted 5 mins of my life with this. its not even funny...

I can picture Chris standing alone, dinging the triangle, one ding at a time, then thinking "Wow, this is brilliant.":laugh3: Great interview Roadie!!!

just wasted 5 mins of my life with this. its not even funny...

 

Yes it is! :snobby:

 

 

:P

But mostly I’m ashamed of the fact that I won’t ever be able to appease all my adoring fangirls with whatever dirty favors they may want from me.

 

aren't we all so sad about this as well lol....

:laugh3: :laugh3: Wow! Such an amazing interview Roadie 43!

 

I hope you're going to interview "Will Berryman" soon! :laugh3:

I love you, Chris. And Roadie 43 too!

Roadie #43 – Blog #3

June 8, 2010

#43 interviews "Chris Martin"

 

In between binging sessions, Roadie #43 has managed to catch up with Chris Martin! Now, some of you may be a bit skeptical of this interview, especially since there are, indeed, many people in the world named "Chris Martin", but Roadie #43 assures us that he went through a very through identification procedure. Whether that procedure was done under the influence, nobody knows. Regardless, enjoy the interview!

 

Chris: “My balls hurt.”

 

Chris: “No, I wasn’t answering your question! My balls really do hurt!”

 

 

:laugh3::laugh3:

 

and yes! interview Will Berryman next! :lol:

His Banana has a recital?

 

What euphenism is that!? Poor Gwyneth.