I don't get Christopher Martin's point. If you can't take bad satirical humour you shouldn't be in the Lounge coz you're going to get offended all of the time.

 

Anyways, this joke cracks me up every time :awesome:

 

 

A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.

 

"Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.

 

"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.

 

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.

 

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.

 

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.

 

There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow."

Hahaha this one made me laugh pretty hard xD

A woman is having a shower when there is a knock at the door.

Struggling to find her towel and dressing gown she shouts through that she'll only be a minute and asks who it is.

The person at the door replies 'I'm the blind man'.

Feeling more relaxed and aware that her nudity did not matter the woman answered the door.

'Good afternoon madam, nice boobs, i'm here to fix your blinds'.

How do you know it's time to replace your dishwasher?

 

When your old one tells you to "do your share"

 

 

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

Trick question, feminists can't change anything!

 

A woman is having a shower when there is a knock at the door.

Struggling to find her towel and dressing gown she shouts through that she'll only be a minute and asks who it is.

The person at the door replies 'I'm the blind man'.

Feeling more relaxed and aware that her nudity did not matter the woman answered the door.

'Good afternoon madam, nice boobs, i'm here to fix your blinds'.

 

AAAAAHAHAHA. :laugh4:

In an effort to be a gentleman, I stood aside and held the door open for my girlfriend.

 

Two minutes later she said, "Can you please piss off while I'm going to the toilet?"

I think we've seen enough to trust Paul the Octopus with two boxes marked 'Israel' and 'Palestine'.

I was lying in bed with my blonde girlfriend last night when she said, "I think my boobs are too small, I'm going to get a boob job."

 

"Hmm," I replied, "my hands are too small... what do you think I should do?"

 

"Do you want a hand job?"

 

She's a keeper.

I bought a memory stick for my wife.

She hasn't forgotten my beer once since the first beating.

I was lying in bed with my blonde girlfriend last night when she said, "I think my boobs are too small, I'm going to get a boob job."

 

"Hmm," I replied, "my hands are too small... what do you think I should do?"

 

"Do you want a hand job?"

 

She's a keeper.

 

:lol:

I think we've seen enough to trust Paul the Octopus with two boxes marked 'Israel' and 'Palestine'.

:stunned: :p

 

I was lying in bed with my blonde girlfriend last night when she said, "I think my boobs are too small, I'm going to get a boob job."

 

"Hmm," I replied, "my hands are too small... what do you think I should do?"

 

"Do you want a hand job?"

 

She's a keeper.

 

:lol:

 

I bought a memory stick for my wife.

She hasn't forgotten my beer once since the first beating.

 

Domestic violence is not funny.

...:D

have i won this thread yet?

not even close yet ;)

I don't think I understand how you win a thread :\

I don't think I understand how you win a thread :\

 

omg, have you never seen a thread being won yet?

I don't think so... :embarrassed:

there's an award for 'thread of the year' on here I think.

I don't think so... :embarrassed:

 

well whenever you win ten threads (keep your eyes peeled for people doing that here) in one year, you go through to the next round against people from other forums who have also won ten threads, and the first to win ten threads in that forum wins the yearly thread competition. in 2014 (celebrating 20 years of the internet) there will be a forum for the twenty winners from each year and the first to win ten threads in that forum wins the internet.

 

i can't believe you haven't heard of this :confused:

Maybe I'm just a noob :shame:

 

I still don't understand how you win a single thread, though. Is it just with the number of posts in it or something? I'm sure I'll catch on one day :P

hey guys, has fooling grace won me the thread?

No. I think it should be made of pure awesomeness, and this thread is not yet at par with it.

hey guys, has fooling grace won me the thread?

 

Is that a joke Greggy?

So it is just about people's opinions of the thread?

In my defence, I'm tired and [slightly] hungover, Greg :P

Thanks for the jokes, Sara...my dad went around saying the one about the Mexican Olynpic Team ALL. DAY. :lol:

Thanks for the post, Sara...my dad went around saying the joke about the Mexican Olynpic Team ALL. DAY. :lol:

 

Aww, thanks for giving ME CREDIT

:laugh3: Edited, sorry. :shame: