*Perrine* Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 I don't get Christopher Martin's point. If you can't take bad satirical humour you shouldn't be in the Lounge coz you're going to get offended all of the time. Anyways, this joke cracks me up every time :awesome: A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution. "Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile. "Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac. There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow." Hahaha this one made me laugh pretty hard xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Myshkin Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 A woman is having a shower when there is a knock at the door. Struggling to find her towel and dressing gown she shouts through that she'll only be a minute and asks who it is. The person at the door replies 'I'm the blind man'. Feeling more relaxed and aware that her nudity did not matter the woman answered the door. 'Good afternoon madam, nice boobs, i'm here to fix your blinds'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotdensestate Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 How do you know it's time to replace your dishwasher? When your old one tells you to "do your share" How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, feminists can't change anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 A woman is having a shower when there is a knock at the door. Struggling to find her towel and dressing gown she shouts through that she'll only be a minute and asks who it is. The person at the door replies 'I'm the blind man'. Feeling more relaxed and aware that her nudity did not matter the woman answered the door. 'Good afternoon madam, nice boobs, i'm here to fix your blinds'. AAAAAHAHAHA. :laugh4: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Myshkin Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 In an effort to be a gentleman, I stood aside and held the door open for my girlfriend. Two minutes later she said, "Can you please piss off while I'm going to the toilet?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Myshkin Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 I think we've seen enough to trust Paul the Octopus with two boxes marked 'Israel' and 'Palestine'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Myshkin Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 I was lying in bed with my blonde girlfriend last night when she said, "I think my boobs are too small, I'm going to get a boob job." "Hmm," I replied, "my hands are too small... what do you think I should do?" "Do you want a hand job?" She's a keeper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Myshkin Posted July 15, 2010 Author Share Posted July 15, 2010 I bought a memory stick for my wife. She hasn't forgotten my beer once since the first beating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empily Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 I was lying in bed with my blonde girlfriend last night when she said, "I think my boobs are too small, I'm going to get a boob job." "Hmm," I replied, "my hands are too small... what do you think I should do?" "Do you want a hand job?" She's a keeper. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace. Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 I think we've seen enough to trust Paul the Octopus with two boxes marked 'Israel' and 'Palestine'. :stunned: :p I was lying in bed with my blonde girlfriend last night when she said, "I think my boobs are too small, I'm going to get a boob job." "Hmm," I replied, "my hands are too small... what do you think I should do?" "Do you want a hand job?" She's a keeper. :lol: I bought a memory stick for my wife. She hasn't forgotten my beer once since the first beating. Domestic violence is not funny. ...:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Myshkin Posted July 16, 2010 Author Share Posted July 16, 2010 have i won this thread yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electric.Candy Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 not even close yet ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace. Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 I don't think I understand how you win a thread :\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Myshkin Posted July 16, 2010 Author Share Posted July 16, 2010 I don't think I understand how you win a thread :\ omg, have you never seen a thread being won yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace. Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 I don't think so... :embarrassed: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electric.Candy Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 there's an award for 'thread of the year' on here I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Myshkin Posted July 16, 2010 Author Share Posted July 16, 2010 I don't think so... :embarrassed: well whenever you win ten threads (keep your eyes peeled for people doing that here) in one year, you go through to the next round against people from other forums who have also won ten threads, and the first to win ten threads in that forum wins the yearly thread competition. in 2014 (celebrating 20 years of the internet) there will be a forum for the twenty winners from each year and the first to win ten threads in that forum wins the internet. i can't believe you haven't heard of this :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace. Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 Maybe I'm just a noob :shame: I still don't understand how you win a single thread, though. Is it just with the number of posts in it or something? I'm sure I'll catch on one day :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prince Myshkin Posted July 16, 2010 Author Share Posted July 16, 2010 hey guys, has fooling grace won me the thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electric.Candy Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 No. I think it should be made of pure awesomeness, and this thread is not yet at par with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electric.Candy Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 hey guys, has fooling grace won me the thread? Is that a joke Greggy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace. Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 So it is just about people's opinions of the thread? In my defence, I'm tired and [slightly] hungover, Greg :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickle Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 Thanks for the jokes, Sara...my dad went around saying the one about the Mexican Olynpic Team ALL. DAY. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotdensestate Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 Thanks for the post, Sara...my dad went around saying the joke about the Mexican Olynpic Team ALL. DAY. :lol: Aww, thanks for giving ME CREDIT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickle Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 :laugh3: Edited, sorry. :shame: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now