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Braddock's Jokes Thread

Prince Myshkin

By Prince Myshkin
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Guest howyousawtheworld

Guest howyousawtheworld

Posted
Posted

What's black and sits at the stop of the stairs?

 

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

 

 

 

Sorry that was disgusting!

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illuvcoldplay

illuvcoldplay

Posted
Posted

This guy was at home watching the tv with his pregnant wife when suddenly she starts to feel these bad contractions and goes into labour.

Panicked and scared the husband dials 911

 

Operator : 911 how can I help you?

 

Husband : My wife is in labour and I'm not sure what to do. Her contractions are coming very close together and I don't think we'll make it to the hospital in time

 

Operator : Is this her first child ?

 

Husband: No you bloody jackass I'm her husband.

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Black Dog

Black Dog

Posted
Posted
This guy was at home watching the tv with his pregnant wife when suddenly she starts to feel these bad contractions and goes into labour.

Panicked and scared the husband dials 911

 

Operator : 911 how can I help you?

 

Husband : My wife is in labour and I'm not sure what to do. Her contractions are coming very close together and I don't think we'll make it to the hospital in time

 

Operator : Is this her first child ?

 

Husband: No you bloody jackass I'm her husband.

:rolleyes:

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Reilly

Reilly

Posted
Posted

That was pretty lame but what I expected.

 

I actually do hate jokes, more in real life then on here, because in real life I have to pretend to laugh but on here I can just robotically and heartlessly stare at my monitor as if no humour had actually transpired. :blank:

 

I hate that feeling when someone leans towards you and says something like "Did I tell you my grandfather died during the Holocaust?" and you think 'FUKWUT- oh.... NO A JOKE IS COMING :freak:' and then they go "He fell off one of the watchtowers and then it's like fake laugh-o-mania! And then they keep laughing, and you've really got nothing to say about anything.

 

A black guy, a white guy, and a hispanic guy are sitting on a bench in the park.

They ignore each other due to cultural differences.

 

Though I thought this was great!

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Reilly

Reilly

Posted
Posted

I thought I wouldn't say because I try to avoid confrontation with you since things on the board have calmed down. But I guess now I have to. You may not have made the joke up but you found it funny, and I find your sense of humour to be childish and lame, so I expected the joke you found funny to be lame (When I saw a joke beside your username). It's not like you were just passing on information.

 

There, responding to your point about how you shouldn't care about me thinking the joke is lame just because you didn't make it up.

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illuvcoldplay

illuvcoldplay

Posted
Posted
I thought I wouldn't say because I try to avoid confrontation with you since things on the board have calmed down. But I guess now I have to. You may not have made the joke up but you found it funny, and I find your sense of humour to be childish and lame, so I expected the joke you found funny to be lame (When I saw a joke beside your username). It's not like you were just passing on information.

 

There, responding to your point about how you shouldn't care about me thinking the joke is lame just because you didn't make it up.

 

Ok great you've said how you feel, you find my sense of humor to be childish and lame that is quite fine with me as you are totally entitled to think what you like :D.

 

I never said I found the joke funny either . I just posted a joke that came over the radio. And yes a person can post a joke even if they don't think its funny themself.

 

Are you ever going to figure out how to multi-quote? And obviously I didn't think you had made the joke up.

 

and your comment was based on me multi quoting

Whatever . I'm way too much in a good mood to be bothered. :)

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Reilly

Reilly

Posted
Posted
Ok great you've said how you feel, you find my sense of humor to be childish and lame that is quite fine with me as you are totally entitled to think what you like :D.

 

Well isn't this all very reasonable and diplomatic

 

I never said I found the joke funny either . I just posted a joke that came over the radio. And yes a person can post a joke even if they don't think its funny themself.

 

You can say that but I don't believe you, nobody remembers a joke they don't like.

 

and your comment was based on me multi quoting

Whatever . I'm way too much in a good mood to be bothered. :)

Well done you've proved you can multi-quote, but obviously the next question that follows is, why don't you?! These kind of responses look so shitty, and after trying it, it's actually pretty awkward to do.

 

This.

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illuvcoldplay

illuvcoldplay

Posted
Posted
This.

 

As you said I;'m childish., lame need to multi quote, you showed me by quoting all my posts , I def had to like the joke that I heard just two or three days ago that's a few lines because you can tell me how I'm feeling or thinking.

 

This your opinion you are entitled to it. Yup diplomatic Think what you like about me . I'm happy and your opinion of me won't change that .:D

 

I'll just try not to bring my childish lame self in any of your threads or reposn to any of your posts so as to limit you havintg to take the time to comment

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Reilly

Reilly

Posted
Posted
As you said I;'m childish., lame need to multi quote, you showed me by quoting all my posts , I def had to like the joke that I heard just two or three days ago that's a few lines because you can tell me how I'm feeling or thinking.

 

This your opinion you are entitled to it. Yup diplomatic Think what you like about me . I'm happy and your opinion of me won't change that .:D

 

I'll just try not to bring my childish lame self in any of your threads or reposn to any of your posts so as to limit you havintg to take the time to comment

 

Look you can keep turning the other cheek and being reasonable but I know what you're really thinking is "Fuck you you fuckin faggot retard HAHAHA". You just don't get a 2nd chance at first impressions.

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Megalomania

Megalomania

Posted
Posted
What's the difference between a snowman and snow-woman?

SNOW BALLS.

 

 

 

 

 

:|

 

Bahaha that's great! :lol:

 

 

 

Do bad pick up lines count as jokes? My friends and I found some great band pick up lines like:

 

I'm French horny for your tromboner.

You make me squeak

You're looking sharp, so let's go back to my flat and get natural

Nice brass

 

 

:awesome:

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illuvcoldplay

illuvcoldplay

Posted
Posted
Bahaha that's great! :lol:

 

 

 

Do bad pick up lines count as jokes? My friends and I found some great band pick up lines like:

 

I'm French horny for your tromboner.

You make me squeak

You're looking sharp, so let's go back to my flat and get natural

Nice brass

 

 

:awesome:

 

 

:laugh3: hahaha those are actually some funny pick up lines

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