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An LP5 Play: In One Act


oldmuckers

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Location: The Bakery

 

Will: Well that's it... after two years of hard work it's finally done.

 

Johnny: I think it sounds brilliant. I'm really proud of what we've done.

 

Guy: The fans are gonna love this. I can't wait for them to hear it!

 

Johnny: We'd better send it out to EMI before Chris gets out of the bathroom...

 

(enter Chris)

 

Chris: Guys, guess what!?!

 

Guy: Don't tell me you've come up with new outfits... I've only just finished these pants.

 

Chris: No even better... I've just written five more new songs!

 

Johnny: But you were only in there for a few minutes!

 

(phone rings, Will answers)

 

NME Reporter: Hello, I'm doing an article on LP5 and was just wondering when it might be done.

 

Will: ugh... two more weeks.

 

(will hangs up)

 

Chris: How do you guys feel about electric banjo?

 

the end

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Location: The Bakery

 

Will: Well that's it... after two years of hard work it's finally done.

 

Johnny: I think it sounds brilliant. I'm really proud of what we've done.

 

Guy: The fans are gonna love this. I can't wait for them to hear it!

 

Johnny: We'd better send it out to EMI before Chris gets out of the bathroom...

 

(enter Chris)

 

Chris: Guys, guess what!?!

 

Guy: Don't tell me you've come up with new outfits... I've only just finished these pants.

 

Chris: No even better... I've just written five more new songs!

 

Johnny: But you were only in there for a few minutes!

 

(phone rings, Will answers)

 

NME Reporter: Hello, I'm doing an article on LP5 and was just wondering when it might be done.

 

Will: ugh... two more weeks.

 

(will hangs up)

 

Chris: How do you guys feel about electric banjo?

 

the end

 

This is my extended version...

 

Location: The Bakery

 

Will: Well that's it... after two years of hard work it's finally done.

 

Johnny: I think it sounds brilliant. I'm really proud of what we've done.

 

Guy: The fans are gonna love this. I can't wait for them to hear it!

 

Johnny: We'd better send it out to EMI before Chris gets out of the bathroom...

 

(enter Chris)

 

Chris: Guys, guess what!?!

 

Guy: Don't tell me you've come up with new outfits... I've only just finished these pants.

 

Chris: No even better... I've just written five more new songs!

 

Johnny: But you were only in there for a few minutes!

 

(phone rings, Will answers)

 

NME Reporter: Hello, I'm doing an article on LP5 and was just wondering when it might be done.

 

Will: ugh... two more weeks.

 

(will hangs up)

 

Chris: How do you guys feel about electric banjo?

 

[TWO WEEKS LATER]

 

Location: The Beehive

 

Guy: Thank god we finally convinced Chris to take a 6 month vacation in Hawaii...

 

Will: Yeah, now he's not going to stop us from finishing this album!

 

Johnny: Now we need to just...

 

(Chris storms into The Beehive)

 

Chris: GUYS! I JUST WROTE THIS F--KING BRILLIANT SONG!

 

Johnny: I THOUGHT YOU WENT TO HAWAII??!!

 

Chris: Well, I actually slipped out of the bathroom while Gwyneth was having a hard time calming down the kids, and actually ran naked to the airport, on the jet and took off back to England! :wink3:

 

Guy: :shocked2:

 

Will: Do you have a pilot's license?

 

Johnny: And what's up with the bandage on your head?

 

Chris: :stunned: ... umm, umm, err, well, back to the song I wrote, it's all about UNICORNS and MARIJUANA! IT'S F--KING BRI...

 

Will: I think that's enough...

 

Chris: ...AND HOMOS AND PIE AND EINSTEIN AND THE MEANING OF LIFE AND...

 

Johnny: The meaning of life?

 

Will: What is it?

 

Guy: :thinking:

 

Chris: DIRTY UNDERWEAR

 

Guy: :inquisitive:

 

Will: :dozey:

 

Johnny: :D

 

(phone rings)

 

(Will checks the number)

 

Guy: Who is it?

 

Will: EMI :stunned:

 

(Chris picks up the phone)

 

Chris: Hey! Give us 5 more months and we'll be done! We just need to record, umm, 50 more songs? Yeah, yeah, bye!

 

Johnny, Guy & Will: :veryangry2: :veryangry2: :veryangry2:

 

THE THE end...

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