I don't know what to do

[ForYouIBleedMyselfDry]

im really sorry if i posted this in the wrong place

 

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost now. it started around january with my parents making fun of me and hurting me you probaly think im complaining like everyone else does only two people know about whats going on my best friend and my boyfriend

i mean im pretty popular in school but now people are calling me a whore and slut and so much other shit its more thsn what i've said i've been feeling so different lately i try to smile but i cant i want to be happy but i just cant

im really stupid for doing this but i started cutting myself again about two months ago ive tried to stop so many times

i'm so fucking stupid for posting this i dont know what to do anymore

[Destrokk]

You should see a psychiatrist or talk to your guidance counselor.

 

A lot of people here can give you advice but its better to talk to someone that can really help you.

[i'maveryneatMonster.']

There are worse things in life.

[yellowlover]

There are worse things in life.

 

^ have to agree with this

Seems you are still at school right?,I understand these names cause you distress,but you can't take them to heart,kids will always be cruel and when you leave school and look back at this you will realize that there are worse things to worry about,just ignore them and be the bigger person

[Empily]

Have you told your parents that them making fun of you hurts you? They're not mind readers so you have to tell them you're being serious and you don't like it.

 

stop cutting yourself, It's a stupid thing to do. In life you're going to come across tougher situations than this, you're going to have to learn to deal with stress, anger and upset in a different way. You can't just cut yourself everytime something gets hard.

 

Talk to a teacher at school/ college that you trust or at least are comfortable talking to. I'm sure they have people in schools who deal with bullying regularly.

If that fails, go to a doctor.

 

Try to talk to your parents about it. Your parents aren't going to just ignore you if you say you're being bullied.

 

Most importantly, you have to remember that things like name calling and shit will stop when you leave school. Mainly because in the adult world that sort of behaviour isn't tolerated, and everyones not so childish and moronic to do it. No matter how bad it seems, it won't go on forever. People do grow up.

[Tnspieler1012]

im really sorry if i posted this in the wrong place

 

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost now. it started around january with my parents making fun of me and hurting me you probaly think im complaining like everyone else does only two people know about whats going on my best friend and my boyfriend

i mean im pretty popular in school but now people are calling me a whore and slut and so much other shit its more thsn what i've said i've been feeling so different lately i try to smile but i cant i want to be happy but i just cant

im really stupid for doing this but i started cutting myself again about two months ago ive tried to stop so many times

i'm so fucking stupid for posting this i dont know what to do anymore

 

If you actually want helpful advice, you could begin by giving us the larger context. I'm not into giving blind sympathy, as I remember too much from when by best friend went through an emo phase. I can only concur with alexa, and also suggest you stop thinking about some idealized happiness, as it seems like you already have it pretty well in the great stream of things.

Just simplify your thoughts. What do you want? (happiness isn't a useful answer)

[Radek]

Go outside the house. Open to the other people. Also important is the contact with nature. Think what you're doing wrong and what you can change. Do not act under the influence of emotions. Do not look for solutions that can hurt someone. Be calm in action.

[Reilly]

I'm a bit taken back by the suggestion and approval of what is basically "Cheer up you could have it worse", I thought that was dis-regarded as incredibly destructive when dealing with depression a very long time ago, if anything that just makes a person feel guilt. Nobody truly knows what you're going through, and if anyone feels they don't know enough about your situation to give advice and help, well then they certainly don't know enough to jump to a conclusion that you are attention seeking or have motives, especially because of one past experience they've had (That logic is shocking).

 

I think the starting point is with your parents, if you feel they're intentionally trying to hurt you then you'll constantly be on edge at home, because you have no trust for them, it's not a living environment people should have. I hope they're at least unaware of what they're doing, and make it clear that it's affecting you. As for high school, kids are more cruel then adults, and while it may seem like an eternity now it won't last forever, try and focus on those who make you happy. Stupid rumours in a place like school can explode quickly, and can be forgotten just as quick.

 

While I disagree with the way most people have went about it in this thread, they are trying to help, some people (I would say very few people) need tough love, to be told to wake up and get on with life, but that advice is basically a gamble, as it just makes a lot of people worse. Remember that anyone is capable of being depressed, and it's better to deal with it then pretend it doesn't exist and focussing on how more horrible things may happen to you in your life (What the hell kind of advice is that) so I'd suggest talking to people, you have your best friend and boyfriend so that's at least something, you need to talk to your parents too. There's obviously a lot of un-resolved issues, I think that's why you're cutting. You are very much aware that cutting isn't progressing anything and it's very serious, if it's coming to that then you need to speak to a doctor, you need help further then this forum.

[Poky]

I think you get a lot of good pieces of advice. I just want to say, that few years ago I had silmilar feelings and I want to say - now you think everything just sucks. Don't do any stupid moves. Current problems may look terrible, but you always find a solution, believe me.

 

I wish you good luck!

[Coldplay]

There are worse things in life.

Are you fucking kidding me? Aren't you a doctor? How can you tell a young girl who's harming herself that her problem is unimportant? I'm glad you're not my mom.

 

I do agree, however, that you should elaborate on what's going on with your parents and your peers at school. Sometimes I say that my mom "hates me" or "doesn't understand me" but that's because I'm pissed off at the time and I sorta want to make her look bad (:anxious:) so I'm not entirely sure if your parents are making fun of you or not. If they really are, that is ridiculous. Your parents are supposed to support you and love you unconditionally. They were teenagers too once so they should know that you have tough times and need someone to help them through it. Talk to your parents when they're not busy and tell them how you're feeling. It might be scary at first, but it will lift a huge weight off of your shoulders.

 

If by 'hurting' you mean physical abuse, learn to defend yourself (not hit back!) or call the police, what they are doing is a crime.

 

Now about the kids in your school, the truth is that we've all been bullied to some extent. I think the best way to deal with it is to completely ignore them. Don't sneer at them, don't think of a good comeback or fight back, just completely ignore them and pretend like they're not there. If you fight back, you're giving them the attention they want. It would also help if you stay away from those kids at lunchtime etc.

 

I don't think you've started high school yet so don't worry, you'll be going to a new school soon, with new people :) Junior high is always the most difficult.

 

And please stop cutting! Seriously. You shouldn't harm your body, you're gonna regret it later when you're older and you have a bunch of nasty scars.

 

Simple things like listening to music, exercising (relieves sooo much stress), and hanging out with (good) friends can help you feel better. For now, just work on communicating with your parents. As people said earlier, you can talk to a guidance counselor etc. if things are not quite working out. Don't be ashamed if you do, it's for your own well-being.

 

And that's all I have to say :smiley: You're always free to send me a PM if you need someone to talk to.

[i'maveryneatMonster.']

Are you fucking kidding me? Aren't you a doctor? How can you tell a young girl who's harming herself that her problem is unimportant? I'm glad you're not my mom.

 

First, I'm not a doctor. Second no, I'm not kidding you. I checked her profile to see if she was a teenager or someone older. I am not even making fun of her post. I can relate to her because at her age (and still now) I didn't have a good relationship with my parents, and while people didn't call me a whore in school, I'm pretty sure I was labeled as a weirdo and other funny nicknames.

Wanna know why I said there are worse things in life? Because there are. Her parents could be dead, she could not have the chance to experience having a boyfriend, or even have friends. I know I didn't have the later two when I was her age.

This is not the place to ask for advice, yet I somehow see how it's the only place where she is able to express her feelings. I am not giving her advice or tell her what to do because she might end up ignoring any advice and stay in a shell of "my life is crap" and she needs a psychiatrist, not a CPing member who thinks she's very mature for her age after being a little meanie around here for a while. What I didn't express with my post, is that it gets a lot better and that she's going to think "wtf was i thinking" when she's older.

 

And to be honest, I don't give a shit if you'd like me as a mother.

[Blakexy1125]

First, I'm not a doctor. Second no, I'm not kidding you. I checked her profile to see if she was a teenager or someone older. I am not even making fun of her post. I can relate to her because at her age (and still now) I didn't have a good relationship with my parents, and while people didn't call me a whore in school, I'm pretty sure I was labeled as a weirdo and other funny nicknames.

Wanna know why I said there are worse things in life? Because there are. Her parents could be dead, she could not have the chance to experience having a boyfriend, or even have friends. I know I didn't have the later two when I was her age.

This is not the place to ask for advice, yet I somehow see how it's the only place where she is able to express her feelings. I am not giving her advice or tell her what to do because she might end up ignoring any advice and stay in a shell of "my life is crap" and she needs a psychiatrist, not a CPing member who thinks she's very mature for her age. What I didn't express with my post, is that it gets a lot better and that she's going to think "wtf was i thinking" when she's older.

 

And to be honest, I don't give a shit if you'd like me as a mother.

 

Seriously this girl is looking for help and looking for sympathy. You are the opposite of what she needs. sure were all just cp members but one person or comment can change her outlook on things. seriously you obviously have nothing good to say so just get out of here because your being a real asshole right now.

[Blakexy1125]

But to help you out with your problem... yeah your in a bad spot right now, i get that because we have all been in positions where things are bad, ive cut myself before but i only did it once. i completely understand why it helps but its not the right thing to do, trust me.

 

And with the whole parent situation im sorry your dealing with that, i dont know the exact circumstances if they are teasing you and they dont know that they're words have weight or if they do it on purpose, but home is supposed to be the one place in the world where you dont have to feel threatened its supposed to be a safe place filled with love and i know this is hard but maybe you can try and talk to one of your parents and say "hey i know you might not mean what your saying to me but it still hurts me." i know thats so hard to do but if you can find the courage inside of you to do it i promise that itll relieve some of the stress that you have right now

 

Now for the school thing, people are assholes, they are quick to judge and they can be really harsh, and im sure none of them know enough about you to judge you! Just wait till you get out of schoool you quickly realize all the judgements mean literally nothing. stay strong trust me it gets better! but just surround yourself with people who make a positive effect and itll get better :)

 

I hope everything works out for you and if you ever need help you can message me :)

[i'maveryneatMonster.']

^Way to misinterpret.

 

Original poster, I'm sorry :/ I came off as a dick but I mean it, things get a lot better once you're out of that "people I know in school are assholes" phase. I don't even know your relationship with your parents so about that, I can only dare to say that they love you nonetheless.

[Blakexy1125]

^Way to misinterpret.

 

Original poster, I'm sorry :/ I came off as a dick but I mean it, things get a lot better once you're out of that "people I know in school are assholes" phase. I don't even know your relationship with your parents so about that, I can only dare to say that they love you nonetheless.

 

Alright sorrry for calling you an asshole, you just came off as a dick. but yeah we know theres worse things in life but she doesnt need to worry about that yet, lets just help her through this problem

[Tnspieler1012]

lets just help her through this problem

Part of my frustration was that we really have no idea what the source of her problem is. We know the symptoms, but her description of a mysterious change since January in which her popularity status has suddenly changed seems to imply that some series of events is responsible for her unfortunate state of affairs.

 

I am NOT in the least implying that she somehow deserves the treatment because of something we don't know about. Only that, until we know more, all we can say is 'please stop cutting', 'find help', post :hug: smiley's and the like...

[Coldplay]

Wanna know why I said there are worse things in life? Because there are. Her parents could be dead, she could not have the chance to experience having a boyfriend, or even have friends. I know I didn't have the later two when I was her age.

Yes, there's a reason why that bothered me, Reilly summed it up very nicely:

I'm a bit taken back by the suggestion and approval of what is basically "Cheer up you could have it worse", I thought that was dis-regarded as incredibly destructive when dealing with depression a very long time ago, if anything that just makes a person feel guilt.

Obviously she is aware that this forum is not a substitution for therapy, she just wants a few words of encouragement to get out of her guilty/lost way of thinking and start thinking about her problems and how she can resolve them. I sometimes go on MSN and talk to my Coldplaying friends about something that's on my mind, and just the fact that I'm expressing my feelings to someone who I don't know, who I don't have to deal with, who might give me a reply as simple as "aww :hug:" can snap me out of that way of thinking.

I am not giving her advice or tell her what to do because she might end up ignoring any advice and stay in a shell of "my life is crap" and she needs a psychiatrist

Okay. My advice was pretty straightforward though,

'talk to your parents about how you're feeling'

'stay away from the bullies'

What's wrong with that? It's rather generic advice that most people can agree on. Do you disagree?

not a CPing member who thinks she's very mature for her age after being a little meanie around here for a while

Really? I used to be scared of you when I first joined the forum, you and other 20-somethings on the forum would sort of 'gang up' and acted like you owned the place.

I didn't realize I was the mean one now. That's rather terrifying if I am, I don't want that to happen.

What I didn't express with my post, is that it gets a lot better and that she's going to think "wtf was i thinking" when she's older.

Of course! I agree that it gets better and that it won't matter to her when she gets older. But that wasn't my point, you see.

Now that I see your perspective I apologize for going at you, I hope you're not mad at me, but you don't need to be so blunt. She just wanted some support, or 'blind sympathy' as someone called it, we all need that sometimes :)

[the3jr]

Gonna turn to a new page here, but Ms., this is easier said than done (i know from experience) but there comes a point in time when you just stop giving fucks about what the people around you say and do. It's a fact that life will only give you more obstacles to overcome from this point on, and I won't lie to you that you will overcome all of them, because there will be times that you will be pushed down to the ground (figuratively). The upside is that these experiences always harbor a light, something good that comes out of these trials. It might not be as obvious as a "don't steal because it's bad" kind of moral, but at least try to find what will make you stronger in the long run. Gonna plug a Coldplay quote here, but "Nobody said it was easy", and that is definitely true. If anyone's told you this, don't put your hopes up, but actually try to rise above what will irrevocably come. I hope I've helped, and I hope you're still reading these posts. The advice here may not be the wisest, but most of them show that there are people that care enough to defend you and help you, even if we don't know you personally. Hoping you feel better soon, and that your friends stay real, -e

[Cobalt]

^ From experience, 'stop caring' does not necessarily help as advice either, especially if you are of the temperament of caring about everyone and everything or being a bit of a worrywart.

[coldplayhebe12]

I'm close to your age. I believe we're in the same grade (You're in 7th, right?).

 

You should talk to your parents. The last thing they'd want to do is hurt you. Trust me. Just tell them that you really don't appreciate them making fun of you.

Also, how bad is it? Like, is it just teasing or full on harassment?

And why are they calling you a slut/whore? Just because you're "sort of popular" doesn't mean you're any of those things.

 

DO NOT CUT YOURSELF. Things will get better, I promise. You have plenty of people who love you, trust me. Don't do that, please.

I went through something like this (minus the slut/whore and put in giant/sasquatch) and I felt pretty bad. But remember that you have friends, you have family. They can help you, I promise.

 

You'll get through this. :hug:

[the3jr]

^ From experience, 'stop caring' does not necessarily help as advice either, especially if you are of the temperament of caring about everyone and everything or being a bit of a worrywart.

 

It doesn't mean that you should become totally and completely apathetic, there just needs to be a clear filter between who matters and who doesn't. The lines may bounce around here and there, but there will be irrelevant people in life that will be best dealt with by pushing them out of view. I still do that in my high school state right now, and it's gotten me through countless situations that could've brought me down all the way to rock bottom by now. When I do care about someone though, that's where I direct my utmost and personal attention.

[Destrokk]

a CPing member who thinks she's very mature for her age after being a little meanie around here for a while.

 

haha wow

[coldplayhebe12]

 

Really? I used to be scared of you when I first joined the forum, you and other 20-somethings on the forum would sort of 'gang up' and acted like you owned the place.

I didn't realize I was the mean one now. That's rather terrifying if I am, I don't want that to happen.

 

 

I don't think you're mean. I actually find you very nice.

[coldplayfan_115]

I agree that you should talk to your parents. Try your very best to get them to understand that they are hurting you. I understand that sometimes they won't always listen, but try.

 

Kids in school are most likely the most horrible you will encounter, and like Dee said, junior high is the worst. It's a time when everyone is freaking out about life changing and take it out on each other. Ignore them. Popularity is a hard thing to deal with, but honestly, this is a good time to see who your actual friends are. Don't listen to anyone but those who support you. The only reason they say those terrible things to you is because they don't like something about themselves. By ignoring them, you'll show them that you're above their mean games.

 

Please stop cutting yourself. I know it probably feels like the thing that releases all the strong emotions, but it makes things harder in the end. Every time you want to go there, think it through first please, because your only adding physical pain to the emotional pain you're suffering from. :(

 

And through it all, just believe it will get better, because I promise you that everything will come out on the other side. And also, know that you're not alone and that you'll always have someone there for you.

 

I'll leave you with some wisdom that has helped me, from Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Rise above it, and you'll come out the other side.

 

Best wishes. :) :hug: