My girl problem /dilemma

[Simon7]

Iam 22 and I really like this girl 19

 

I fancied here for years and she beautiful And I think I love her

 

But she my brother -in-law sister, ( first complicated bit )

 

But she also has a bf who is a dick and doesn't treat her very nicely.

 

Next complicated bit, there. Also this lad who works with the bf and know all the family, I no him but wouldn't call him a mate,

 

Anyway he fancies her too, and is out with bf and her when they go out etc

 

And worried ill lose her to hi if she breaks up with her bf

 

 

 

Should I kinds rebel or go against this lad or befriend him and hope that she see sense and perhaps choose me?

 

Sorry, for long post but would like advice,

 

I no sound like a soap story line lol

[Nikola]

give her the dick

[Simon7]

give her the dick

 

Lol you couldn't read that in a minute

[Nikola]

i did read it actually

if you really like her, show her affection, try something

you'll be more unhappy about the things you haven't done in life than the fails

 

if you never try you'll never know :cheeeeeeeeeeeeeesy:

 

oh and think less about all those people around her

[Destrokk]

give her the d

 

EDIT: oh...

[Mark]

Make her feel special. Bitches love feeling special. Then she'll realise that her boyfriend doesn't make her feel special.

 

Just make her feel more special than the other guy does.

 

And don't worry about bros before hos. If you love her, it's every man for himself. Don't try and split them up though, just show her what she's missing. And if it's meant to be, she'll see that you're the guy for her.

 

[NumbersGirl]

Don't try and split them up though, just show her what she's missing. And if it's meant to be, she'll see that you're the guy for her.

 

But see I don't get that though. Why would you want to be with a girl that would leave another guy just to be with you? Sure at first it would make you happy, but after awhile wouldn't you be thinking, "gosh, she did it to him, what makes me think she won't do that to me when she sees some other really nice guy?"

[Mark]

But see I don't get that though. Why would you want to be with a girl that would leave another guy just to be with you? Sure at first it would make you happy, but after awhile wouldn't you be thinking, "gosh, she did it to him, what makes me think she won't do that to me when she sees some other really nice guy?"

 

As he said though, the guy's a dick. I didn't say to split them up, I said, make her realise he's a dick by being so nice.

 

It's like, if someone listened to Nickleback, they're never going to listen if you go "Your taste in music is shit". And if they were like "You're right, I'll listen to your music" you wouldn't have much respect for their convictions.

 

But show them your eclectic, varied, colourful taste in music, open their eyes to a wondrous new world of possibility, and all you're doing is opening doors, not pushing people out of windows. You get me?

[Reilly]

But see I don't get that though. Why would you want to be with a girl that would leave another guy just to be with you? Sure at first it would make you happy, but after awhile wouldn't you be thinking, "gosh, she did it to him, what makes me think she won't do that to me when she sees some other really nice guy?"

 

I don't think that's entirely fair to generalize every girl/boy who find themselves doing this. It's different for people who cheat and have no intention of finding a relationship out of it, there's no excuse for that, but if you're in a relationship and find yourself becoming increasingly attracted to another person and you think it's mutual, then your relationship will never feel complete in the same way, even if the other person is out of your life. It's unfortunate but everyone is human and we can't control our thoughts, I understand exactly what you're saying but the logic is a little bit skewed, you can't expect someone to be completely happy for the rest of their life just because they enter into a relationship.

 

I suppose it does depend on the reasons they leave one relationship to enter another, if her boyfriends a dick and she was practically looking for a way out anyway then its understandable, but if it's down to something like pure physical attraction or anything else superficial, she's probably fickle and not really worth it, because someone else will always come along. You can't worry about someone leaving you for someone else just because that's how you found them, it's just as likely they'll do it if you met them when they were single.

[Simon7]

I don't think that's entirely fair to generalize every girl/boy who find themselves doing this. It's different for people who cheat and have no intention of finding a relationship out of it, there's no excuse for that, but if you're in a relationship and find yourself becoming increasingly attracted to another person and you think it's mutual, then your relationship will never feel complete in the same way, even if the other person is out of your life. It's unfortunate but everyone is human and we can't control our thoughts, I understand exactly what you're saying but the logic is a little bit skewed, you can't expect someone to be completely happy for the rest of their life just because they enter into a relationship.

 

I suppose it does depend on the reasons they leave one relationship to enter another, if her boyfriends a dick and she was practically looking for a way out anyway then its understandable, but if it's down to something like pure physical attraction or anything else superficial, she's probably fickle and not really worth it, because someone else will always come along. You can't worry about someone leaving you for someone else just because that's how you found them, it's just as likely they'll do it if you met them when they were single.

 

I did meet her when she was single

 

Thanks for ur reply

[Reilly]

To be honest I was just replying in general to what NumbersGirl wrote, but hopefully it did help you anyway.

[lafinion]

Hm.. I don't really understand the concept of "getting the girl". If she's in the relationship, she's probably content with the state of it. Even if for you the guy seems to be dick, maybe from her point of view he's normal. As strange as it may seem, some people like their partners to be domineering or bossy, for example. I don't know why exactly you think he's dick.

Anyways, she's grown up, she can judge for herself and if she choose to be in that relationship - that's what you have to live with. But, if you really think you'd be great together, you can wait for her to end that relationship and ask her out then. That's all. Doing anything besides friendly talk to a person in a relationship is not something you should do.

 

And is there really something you can do besides being yourself? Just be yourself, and if she is able to value you for what you are, you'd be happy with her and this relationship will work out. If she's not - you'd have to pretend and be unhappy with her.

[Tnspieler1012]

Just playing the gender odds, I first thought this thread would be about menstruation.

[PargeLenisJr]

You need to be nicer. Buy her some flowers/chocolate or other gifts, giver her compliments and share secrets. If her boyfriend isn't good for her she will eventually notice you.

[James.]

Dude, this was like 4 months ago and I'm pretty sure the issue has probably been resolved by now.

[EmmaLouiseSmyth]

everytime I read the title of this thread I always think it's going to be about girl problems (like to do your period and what not) D;

[James.]

everytime I read the title of this thread I always think it's going to be about girl problems (like to do your period and what not) D;

 

:nod: This and the fact the OP's username is Simon made me a bit worried when I first saw it...

[EmmaLouiseSmyth]

bf who is a dick and doesn't treat her very nicely

 

I know this problem is probably solved, but how is he a dick? I'm not saying I doubt you or anything it's just that I've had assumptions made about my boyfriend and how he treated me. I've also had people share these (rather untrue) opinions. Not going to lie, I wanted to punch them in the face.