Gwyneth...

[Cobalt]

Oh dear. ._.

[busybeeburns]

Gwyneth & Chris Martin To Do Xmas In UK

 

Is Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's marriage in need of saving?

 

It has not been an easy go of it for Chris Martin lately. And it can all be traced back to Paul Rudd telling Seth Rogen that he was gay because he liked Coldplay in The 40 Year Old Virgin. Before that, things were pretty sweet for the English alt-rocker.

 

He'd married Gwyneth Paltrow and we didn't bat an eye because we thought that she was English despite parents Blythe Danner and Bruce Paltrow being as American as you, us or Obama. They even had a baby with a goofy name (Apple) and everyone thought it was precious. He even had a turn in the zombie spoof/homage Shaun Of The Dead. Oh and he fronted a little band called Coldplay to international stardom, drawing comparisons to U2, Oasis and Radiohead. In short, things were pretty sweet.

 

But in 2005 Paul Rudd delivered his innocuous little jab and created the first fissure in the house of Martin. A regular guy left the theater thinking, "That was hilarious and I can't let my friends know that I have "Yellow" on my iPod." The albums X&Y and Viva La Vida have kicked butt commercially but left some critics a little disappointed (let it be said that a bunch of serious critics are serious jerk and Viva La Vida may yet do some Grammy damage). There was some backlash about their first baby's name because other celebs went the non-Biblical route and people tired of something that was once so novel. Then Gwyneth got Madonna's back in the Guy Ritchie divorce fiasco and all of us were like, "Dang, is something up with Chris and Gwyn, because he needs to show some solidarity with his fellow Englishman and get his ho on a leash*." Then there were rumors of them (Martin and Paltrow) spending time apart and we chalked it up to his busy touring schedule. And then there was the Joe Satriaini plagiarism lawsuit on top of all that. It's been a tough few years since Paul Rudd's thoughtless laming of Coldplay. But he had a rock in Gwyneth Paltrow.

 

Or not. According to the Daily Star, things are looking rough for the couple. They say that Gwyneth is heading back to Merry Olde for Christmas to "save the marriage." First of all English tabloids make ours look like toothless bastions of truth. Second, it is never a good sign if you have to do something to "save" your marriage. She claims that things are cool but there is a bit of "doth protest too much" in her reassuring words. What do you think? Is all well with Princess Gwyneth in Coldplay castle or has some nefarious 4-year plan by Paul Rudd come to fruition? We think a "saved" marriage would be pretty sweet and much better than a pair of Macraméd jean shorts.

 

*We don't condone leashing anyone, hos included, against their will; The 40 Year Old Virgin made us write it.

 

http://www.yourtango.com/20087613/gwyneth-chris-martin-to-do-xmas-in-uk

[CMJBGBWC]

:bigcry:

[roche714]

I wish the papers would just leave them alone already.Today there's another article in the NY Post that says Gwyneth had breast augmentation recently,because on the cover of Gothamist magazine she looks much bigger than she used to be. It says she looks very "perky".It's ridiculous already...

[Roberta]

Mario Batali: Gwyneth Split Rumors "Not True"

photo_caption

(Getty Images)

 

Chef Mario Batali is shooting down rumors that Gwyneth Paltrow and hubby Chris Martin are on the rocks.

 

At the Food Bank's Lunchbox Auction held Thursday at Milk Studios in NYC, Batali, who earlier this year filmed Spain... On the Road Again with Gwyneth, called the split rumors, "Not true. I see them all the time. I don't think they're having problems."

 

The Oscar winning actress, 36, and the Coldplay frontman, 31, celebrated their five-year anniversary on December 5, and Mario believes proof of their enduring bond is in their children Apple, 4, and Moses, 2.

 

 

"If you meet their kids, their kids are cool," Batali says. "And their kids have the fascination with new and open-eyed experiences. They're delightful. Which means they're being taken care of at home by their parents. That's the key. They're really stay-at-home parents in a way that only rock stars and Academy Award winning actors can be. They've got a time to choose when they work, and they don't have to work all the time."

 

But other attendees aren't so forthcoming when it comes to the couple's relationship.

 

 

Salman Rushdie celebrated Thanksgiving this year in London with Gwyneth, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal. When asked what's going on with Gwyneth and Chris, he said, "Do you think I'll tell you? I don't know anything. Well, are the rumors true? Don't ask me," he says.

 

The four-times married author is in the process of divorcing actress Padma Lakshmi. So what's his advice for getting through a break-up?

 

"It's horrible, and then it stops," he says.

 

By Valerie Nome

[Roberta]

GOOPy’s fake boobies?

 

Page Six is suggesting today that Gwyneth Paltrow got a boob job. Something about her flashing a nipple in her movie Two Lovers with Joaquin Phoenix and her breast looking like that of a 15 year old. It’s an assertion based solely on observation, they claim.

 

Sigh.

 

They don’t know my G. My G has always had small bubbies. And now that she’s working out like an obsessed fiend trying to block out the misery of a miserable marriage, they’ve just reverted to tiny size. It’s hard to sag when there’s nothing to sag.

 

More interesting are the reports this week in the NY Daily News that she and Chris Martin are trying desperately to save their relationship by shutting themselves away at home and rekindling the flame. If you’ve been reading my blog long enough you’ll know already about the rumours that have been raging in London for ages – that he was stepping out, allegedly with some lawyer, a civilian, and that theirs has been a fractured (and irreparable?) union since after the birth of Moses.

 

It would explain a lot. It would explain her pathetic GOOP. The gays are obsessed with it. Deano, my heartbreakingly beautiful, SOOOO beautiful, young gay friend who looks forward to every Thursday, opening up his inbox and seeing her sad attempt at Martha waiting for him to ridicule.

 

It’s embarrassing this GOOPy endeavour. It’s so not Gwyneth. It’s so obsequious. It’s so common. Frankly it’s so disappointing. My Gwynnie should never have to try so hard. Like she might even want to be your friend. Or worse still… my friend! Ew! It’s breaking my heart every day, to say nothing of aligning herself to that fitness lady with the shady past. Ugh.

 

I want my Gwyneth back.

[cold_love23]

^^^ yeah I just saw that Page Six thing

 

http://www.nypost.com/photos/galleries/gossip/celebp/20081212_paltrow/photo01.htm

 

:(

[Pris]

^^^

My Gwyneth???

 

That woman needs therapy........ seriously.......... :dozey:

[roche714]

I just hope they're not staying together for the children like Gwyn told Madonna to do..Big mistake.Then you'll have four miserable people.

[Cobalt]

"My Gwynnie."

 

COUGH.

[Cobalt]

"My Gwynnie."

 

COUGH.

[A RUSH OF VIDA]

I was thinking that maybe the rumors that their on "the rocks" are true cause i mean usually their are always rumors that their breaking up and they blow over after a while but this time it been going on for a while now and this is the same thing that happeneds to alot of couples.......All the rumors start and they deny every little thing and then all of a sudden BAM they release a statement that says they are divorcing!

 

Im not saying thats the case with Chris and Gwyn but it might be possble and im not saying this cause i hope they do break up cause believe me i really want them to work out and be together forever cause i really like Gwyneth and they do have two kids and they just seem really happy but it is that it is a possiblity.

 

Because every day their is a new report saying that their on the rocks and sometimes its complete bullshit like the time with Thanksgiving .....but sometimes who knows what it is true or not but i really do hope that they do stay together...not for the kids but because they love eachother and want to be together.

[iPsy]

Paltrow, Martin Split Claims UNTRUE says Close Friend!

 

 

Gwyneth Paltrow's marriage to Chris Martin is not in trouble, according to a close friend of the actress.

 

The couple, who have two children, were rumoured to be planning a special Christmas together in the UK to patch up their relationship.

 

However, celebrity chef Mario Batali said he has not noticed any problems between the pair. "[it's] not true. I see them all the time. I don't think they're having problems," he told OK!.

 

Batali added that he knows relations between Paltrow and Martin are not strained by the way their children behave.

 

"They're delightful. Which means they're being taken care of at home by their parents. That's the key," he said.

 

"They're really stay-at-home parents in a way that only rock stars and Academy Award-winning actors can be. They've got a time to choose when they work, and they don't have to work all the time."

 

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/showbiz/a138345/paltrow-martin-split-claims-untrue.html

[SerzaJane]

there has been rumors like this in the past and there has been statements saying its not true but you never know i guess

 

i dont thnk either of them have really acted like there about to split really its the same old they dont get photographed together, thats really all the media is basing these rumors on and it only really started after the madonna divorce, in my opinion the media saw a chance to make something out of little things that normally wouldnt come up, n gwyn has been spotted at concerts since all this went down and i really dont think u would go and appear to be having a good time if you were about to get a divorce, and really they spent as much time apart five months ago and there was no rumors then

 

i hope its not true but i guess we will have to wait and see

[marie/pims]

I think Chris would look REALLY depressed if anything was wrong.And he doesn't look sad to me.

[In a telescope lens]

Yeah i agree, he'd be really sad, and he doesn't appear that way at all. But that's another reason why they need to stay together, if the rumors are actually true, cause he needs be happy and not all depressed.

[notlost92]

Paltrow, Martin Split Claims UNTRUE says Close Friend!

 

 

Gwyneth Paltrow's marriage to Chris Martin is not in trouble, according to a close friend of the actress.

 

The couple, who have two children, were rumoured to be planning a special Christmas together in the UK to patch up their relationship.

 

However, celebrity chef Mario Batali said he has not noticed any problems between the pair. "[it's] not true. I see them all the time. I don't think they're having problems," he told OK!.

 

Batali added that he knows relations between Paltrow and Martin are not strained by the way their children behave.

 

"They're delightful. Which means they're being taken care of at home by their parents. That's the key," he said.

 

"They're really stay-at-home parents in a way that only rock stars and Academy Award-winning actors can be. They've got a time to choose when they work, and they don't have to work all the time."

 

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/showbiz/a138345/paltrow-martin-split-claims-untrue.html

 

 

*GASP* Everyone, look, an actual named source who knows them is saying that their marriage isn't in trouble! As opposed to the legions of "unnamed sources close to the couple" that have suddenly popped up in the news saying that their marriage is doomed... :rolleyes:

 

..Seriously, this whole thing is getting ridiculous, even my mom who doesn't read any gossip-y things asked me today if they were getting a divorce :veryangry2:

[Dejan]

Gwyneth Paltrow Goop

 

http://goop.com/

 

from laist.com

 

For those of you too busy standing in line for unemployment checks to snark at celebs online, former LA resident and occasional actress Gwyneth Paltrow is now the full time proprietor of GOOP, the most unintentionally hilarious guide to better living since the 1970s edition of the Joy of Sex1. Each week, Gwyneth sends out a GOOP newsletter with helpful suggestions on how to live the good life. Clearly they're culled from a time capsule she prepared about a decade ago because one might think from reading that she has never even heard the word "recession". Or maybe she subscribes to The Secret and believes that if she pretends everything is great, maybe it really will be!2

 

For this week's letter, Gwyn's finally turned her razor dull sense of class and timing back to her former Los Angeles shopping grounds, and the result is pure Epic Fail. She begins thusly:

 

Los Angeles, where I was born and partially raised...

 

Okay, I was going to let the statement live free but right out the gate we're already hip deep in silly. I give you the following True Lifetm LAist conversation:

 

 

 

Beth Kopley: which part of her was raised in L.A.? snark, snark.

 

Elise Thompson: what part of her remains unraised?

 

Ross Lincoln: her brain

 

God: Zing!

 

DISCLAIMER: God didn't actually exist in time for this article. Everything else is true.

 

In the midst of a terrifying economic downturn that always seems to happen whenever Republicans are allowed to fuck up the country, there's nothing in the world quite like a well meaning but clueless person who comes from a ton of money and affects a bohemian outlook!3. The type of person who treats conventions that arise from relative poverty like an optional lark ("you should go thrifting!"4), offers career advice that assumes that everyone facing the end of their unemployment benefits can simply call up their Dad's tycoon friends and land themselves a plum job with the New York Times5, and most infuriatingly, assumes that their experience is common and will insist until the cows come home that they aren't rich at all.

 

The purest, most distilled form of this person is Gwyneth.

 

Los Angeles, where I was born and partially raised, will always hold a special place in my heart. Not the L.A. of Hollywood, but the old-school seventies beach vibe that which still lingers in corners. As strange, spread out and flatly lit as it can sometimes be, Los Angeles, with its bougainvillea, sea breezes, avocados and eccentric inhabitants, is like no other place and will always be in my soul.

What the hell is she talking about? I love LA a lot, it's my favorite place in all the land, but LA in the 70s was a terrifying dystopian nightmare. The economy sucked so much it tore a hole in the fabric of spacetime that led directly to the Hair Metal scene of the 80s. Smog was so bad CHiPs looked like it took place on a prairie. Fuck man, The Crips started in the 70s. And the beach vibe? We're talking about the Dogtown and Z-Boyz times, when the laid back beach people would beat the living shit out of you if you didn't know the territory6.

 

Then again, LA was and remains one of America's drugs and sex capitals, so I can see how, if you weren't suffocating, being thrashed with a skateboard, homeless, or being shot by gang members, even in the 70s was a pretty sweet place. And Gwyneth should know, since she was 8 when it ended. She's right about one thing though - that old school 70s vibe still lingers around the corners, particularly in MacArthur park after midnight.

 

Anyway, Gwyneth proceeds to the newsletter proper, and though the whole thing is just... too... long... to reprint here, we're happy to summarize. First up, some recommendations on places to stay:

 

Shutters on the Beach 1 Pico Blvd. Santa Monica, CA 90405 http://www.shuttersonthebeach.com

Quoth the Gwyneth:

 

Shutters is my favorite place to stay in L.A. Make sure you get a room with an ocean view. It has a beautiful, breezy vibe, big bathtubs, good sheets. I return to it again and again.

 

Look, I bet Shutters on the Beach is a great place to stay. I also bet nobody reading this will ever find out, you know why? Here's a quote from their website:

 

Rates From $425

Awesome! Thanks Palmar!7

 

The London West Hollywood 1020 N. San Vicente Blvd. West Hollywood, CA 90069 http://www.thelondonwesthollywood.com

I haven't actually been here-

You haven't? Thanks! Guess I don't need to go. Things Gwyn hasn't done that she recommends also include: Deserving an Oscar; having a convincing English accent.

 

Another thing she recommends without first hand experience is where to eat8. Let's see where she sends us!

 

La Scala 434 N. Canon Dr. Beverly Hills, CA 90210 http://www.lascalabeverlyhills.com

Gwyn tell us that

 

I am obsessed with chopped salad, and this place knows how to do it Italian style.

 

These two thoughts do not appear to belong in the same sentence. I'm going to leave it at that.

 

Chinois on Main 2709 Main St. Santa Monica, CA 90405 http://www.wolfgangpuck.com

Chinois is another Los Angeles classic, one of Wolfgang Puck's first restaurants. It is what it sounds like, an amazing fusion of French and Chinese food.

I'm sorry, but did anyone out there read "Chinois" and think "fusion of French and Chinese"? If it is what it sounds like to me, then it's probably a French brand of Khakis.

 

Unsurprisingly, her taste in food isn't bad, so it's hard to really tear her apart except for the fact that she tends to say stupid things like:

 

For some reason, all great sushi spots in L.A. come in a mini-mall

Sure, that's what I think of when I think of "Little Tokyo". A mini mall.

 

This place constantly tests my friendship with [Restaurant Proprietor] because I am always asking for a table for myself or a loved one.

Translation: I make my friend angry because I act like a spoiled hollywood diva. Good to know.

 

Nate'n Al is THE place in L.A. for authentic deli food... Great quality and truly delish.

Is she saying "delish" as in "delicious" or "delish", as in "Like a deli"? You make the call!

 

Unfortunately, she ruins whatever goodwill built up by her taste in food by turning her gaze eastward. As she wraps up her e-mail, uncontent with the west side, she now commands her legions of readers to ruin the East Side as well.

 

Scoops 712 N. Heliotrope Dr. Los Angeles, CA 90029 (323) 906-2649

Dammit Gwyn, you stay the hell away from here! Scoops is practically the best thing in LA and it's already next to impossible to get in after 6 PM. DO NOT start sending an Army of zombies to ruin one of the last remaining things that still feels like that part of LA, pre-housing "boom".

 

Alegria on Sunset 3510 W. Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90026 (323) 913-1422 http://www.alegriaonsunset.com

No. NO! NOT ALEGRIA TOO!!!

 

Clean, fresh, delicious Mexican food in Silverlake – don't be afraid because it's hiding in a mini-mall!

Alegria is very good and while I hope this brings business to it, that doesn't change the fact that Gwyneth needs to cut back on the hash-brownies.

 

The rest is more of the same. Lots of sooper expensive Beverly Hills/West Side haunts with the occasional east side location (nothing west of Micheltoreno tho!) thrown in for good measure, and reference after reference to mini malls. Apparently, Gwyn really wants mini malls to be the new thrift stores when it comes to slumming it for the Bo-Ho set9. I predict that she'll be hipsterizing food stamps in 2015.

 

Look Gwyn, we at LAist appreciate your love for our city. We do. Most people spend their time dissing LA indiscriminately, usually without any real experience here10 aside from breezing through every 4 years or so. But sometimes, it just doesn't work out. Sometimes, you have no choice but to look at the "free spirit" hippie girl staying on your couch, who just brought home a crazy methed up biker guy without asking permission, and say "Look Riele Hunter, I mean Gwyn. It's not me, it's you. Specifically, they way you keep ruining everything I love."

 

Or in the wording of LA's abbreviated night life11: You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

 

Fin.

 

 

(LMA0)

[cold_love23]

I think this was already posted in the Gwyneth Thread.. which is where the Goop letters are usually posted. :)

[thescientist06]

They just haven't been seen together for a long long while. People are going to continue to poke and prod and spread rumors until they show us that they're doing well.. People dig physical love; they want to see couples together. It's some weird psychology bullshit.

[Dejan]

the laist's comments are funny

[ezny]

http://www.thelunchboxauction.org/

THE LUNCHBOX AUCTION
Fighting Hunger One Lunchbox at a Time

Join celebrity chef Mario Batali and Michael Stipe for an auction of custom lunchboxes designed by celebrities from the entertainment, fashion, music, art, and culinary worlds — all to benefit hunger relief. Do your part by bidding on your very own lunchbox. To browse lunchboxes, click here:

 http://www.cmarket.com/auction/item/Browse.action;jsessionid=noWSNdLqCfEOtZKCCGzuXQ**.appserver3-i?_sourcePage=/auctionHome.jsp&grouping=ALL&auctionId=74439179

 

Bid on your favorite custom-designed lunchbox by Mario Batali, Beastie Boys, Gwyneth Paltrow, David Chang, Tom Colicchio, Salman Rushdie, Cameron Diaz, the cast of “Gossip Girl,” Rachael Ray, Eva Mendes, Mike Myers, Ellen Page, Michael Stipe, Liv Tyler, Diane Von Furstenberg and many others — plus, Gourmet's Ruth Reichl and Sara Moulton.

 

Auction starts December 12, 2008, at 12:00 a.m. EST, and ends on December 18, 2008, at 12:00 p.m. EST.

 

This is the one designed by Gwyneth

 

"Self-Portraits from a Kitchen" with photos and two boxes decorated by her children, Apple and Moses.

[enjoycoldplay]

How cute is it ?! Thank for sharing :)

[Roberta]

Close to home

 

Coldplay performed at the O2 this weekend – photos attached.

 

The band is staying close to home over the holidays, touring the UK and then breaking just before Christmas for almost two months. Which means Chris and Gwyneth can work on their marriage… just in time. Chris’s professional life is actually as scandalous as his personal life these days as repeat allegations of plagiarism threaten to shred the band’s reputation.

 

And then there’s Gwyneth…

 

Although it’s been the worst kept secret in London that the two have been struggling for ages, word is only breaking now everywhere else. My sources say that Chris allegedly has someone else, that Gwyneth knows it and chooses to ignore it, immersing herself instead on inane activities like promoting her trainer and GOOPing the sh-t out of her life.

 

Rumour has it she treats him more like a child than a husband – nagging and lecturing – and for a dude with limited romantic experience before getting married so young, the rock star temptations are becoming too much to ignore.

 

Of course that’s what they’re saying. Like a mirror situation to Madonna and Guy. And the British love to vilify the woman over their homegrown man.

 

Still…

 

Even for a G-worshipper like me, some things are undeniable.

 

My sources say Gwynnie has been studying Kabbalah on the sly. And that the teachings are taking the spontaneity out of her life. Combine that with the judgy mommy phenomenon and, well, needless to say the tabloids have a lot of material.

 

Two divergent schools of thought here: some say Chris is trying to hammer through a divorce agreement in the new year, others believe Gwyneth comes from a world where divorce is not an option so over the holidays, she’s imposed a “work on us” project.

 

Her friend Mario Batali has already spoken out against reports the two are on the verge of a split, claiming he sees them all the time and that they seem fine – one happy ordinary family.

 

The holidays will be the test.

 

Oh, and re: her breasts from last week? I didn’t believe that would be her deal, to get her tits done. Apparently I was wrong. Having spoken to impeccable sources afterwards, among her tight circle of friends, it’s totally not a secret – they say she did. Small and subtle but firm.

 

Sigh.

 

It’s like I don’t know her anymore…

 

 

i don't know if the rumors about the divorce are tru, but thi lady(lainey) is obsessed and a little bit crazy....

[Tinttis]

lovely boxes :heart: