Guest Grace Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 picture this. you're out with friends, you get a bit tipsy and you feel that strong urge inside of you that tells you to make out with one of your mates. ever felt that? actually, you don't even have to be drunk for this. you're just with your friends and you somehow want to get cosy with one of them because you want to feel anything at all. you feel absolutely nothing for that person. they're not even your type, but you just want to be close to someone for various reasons. is it wrong to feel that way? do you know that feeling? there's this guy i've been hanging out with the past couple of months and every time when we're out we sort of connect and once he did approach me, but for some reason i rejected him. i knew it was wrong to start anything. i didn't want to hook up with a friend. but we've been to that party last saturday and i just thought,"hmm... why not? he's kinda cute. i could give him a chance." i don't know. i know there will never be anything like a relationship, but i'm probably just on the lookout for fun. :thinking: you only live once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayzo Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Just be straight with him. Say you'd like a casual thing, but nothing more. If you tell him and he rejects you then you ain't lost anything and if hes your true friend you will still remain friends, and if he says yeah, then enjoy it!! :nice: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Grace Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 ^ hahaha. nah, it's not that i really want him. i just thought that it's a bit awkward to become a tad desperate as soon as one is out with friends. i don't know. it's such a weird feeling i get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsSeverusSnape Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 I know what that is. I think we shouldnt be ashamed of feeling like that about any friend of us or anyone we just met, everyone's just used to feel loved and have good moments, like, we're not gonna live forever. And if there arent any other sort of complications about just giving a kiss, or hugging a little more than it's used to, why not? I mean, the other person has to be open minded and not given to big deals out of everything. We all have our phases, sometimes i feel i want a relationship with someone i can really love, sometimes i just feel attracted to someone and im in the "making out" mood, it's something pretty normal and no one should point fingers because of that. If that guy is whiling to spend good moments with u, go for it ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlight Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Whatever you do, just be careful that he doesn't assume that you are actually serious. Or then there will be some complications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petit Prince Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Been there before. I think its perfectly normal to feel that way. I wouldn't go for it though. One person usually ends up getting hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyyyohhh Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 At the moment I want something like that. But I've never been in that situation and knowing me, I'd probably get emotionally attached. I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as both parties know it's just something casual, with no promises of an emotional relationship, and as long as you're both single of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPB Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Uh yeah best not make a move. The feeling will pass. Dating a friend/having a fling with a friend = disaster in my book. Sorry. But that's from my, and those around me, experience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobalt Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Make it clear that you just want it to be casual because I made a dumbass mistake once about two years ago and he thought I was serious and that fucked up, we haven't really been as close as friends since Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a_face_of_light Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 So you pretty much just want to sleep with him then go back to being friends?, ot might be a little awkward I guess but who knows, just kind of see how he feels about hooking up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marie/pims Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Make it clear that you just want it to be casual because I made a dumbass mistake once about two years ago and he thought I was serious and that fucked up, we haven't really been as close as friends since same here!Slept with my really good friend and I don't think we should have because there's still that little voice between us saying "remember when...?" so sometimes it's a little awkward.It's like we're a little scared to hang out together now.So we're not as close. But, yeah, then again...you should have fun...Just think twice about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleluvscp Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 I get that aaaaaall the time :sad: but sometimes it's better to avoid doing what you feel like doing ..cuz he may get his hopes up and you'll be stuck with finding a way to let him off easy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gitta Rensolo Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 ooooh I sooooo know what you're talking about. I'm in a similar situation currently. There is this guy in my circle of friends and whenever we go out we always get close...not like kissing, but putting arms around each other, hugging and all that stuff. I do that with other friends,too, but with him it's erm special somehow....I could even imagine a relationship with him, but the thing is that I don't really feel anything for him....sometimes he makes my heart bump faster and brings butterflies to my stomach...but only when he hugs me closely and things like that....so, yesterday I went out with some freinds including him....and I started thinking about this thing if I only get this warm feeling only because somebody wants to hug me and wants to be close to me or if it is because of him.... damn it I was thinking so much about love the last couple of weeks and I realised that it isn't as easy as I always thought...because I wonder if real love really exists...well it does for sure...but I think it is so haaaaard t find the right one....maybe that's the reason why I'm still single...I'm not somebody who would go out with everyone only because they're interested in me, because they think I'm pretty or something like that-... so thinking of this guy I was talking about: he could be the right one...I know that...:thinking: sorry for talking so much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinttis Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 picture this. you feel absolutely nothing for that person. they're not even your type, but you just want to be close to someone for various reasons. I want something like that.. But.. this is so hard :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Magpie Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 If he's your friend and if he's approached you before but you rejected him, then I wouldn't do any stuff with him and only be his friend. Mind that you might up being a bitch for 'giving him a chance' while he really had none. Depends on if he still had feelings for you, of course. If you're both looking for fun, then why not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavi Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 hmm :thinking: what would The Oracle say ? :dozey: :P I'd say go for it but be honest with him first.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlaatje Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 don't they call this friends with benefits? I know what you mean... but I've never been there... just be honest I guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gitta Rensolo Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 Oh another thing I can tell you: a friend of mine has a girl with whom he has sex regularly, but he is not in love with her. Just to have sex. They do both know that and obviously is fine for them... well I couldn't do it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Grace Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 lil miss stratocaster (i'm sorry i don't know your name :( ), naaaah, i do not want to sleep with him. :laugh3: definitely not. julia, i really found myself in your words again. that's exactly how i feel. it's a weird thing that's going on. and i also thought about that relationship thing. it'd never work out and i don't want him as a boyfriend, but i just thought about it. i feel sort of relieved that i'm no weirdo who's got awkward thoughts. :laugh3: so i'm not the only one out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petit Prince Posted August 19, 2008 Share Posted August 19, 2008 same here!Slept with my really good friend and I don't think we should have because there's still that little voice between us saying "remember when...?" so sometimes it's a little awkward.It's like we're a little scared to hang out together now.So we're not as close. But, yeah, then again...you should have fun...Just think twice about it I think the problem is that you must like the person a lot [otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them] and you gotta be attracted to them. So even if neither of you wants a relationship at the time it's likely that one person starts feeling differently. You never know what the other person is thinking either. They might just agree to being 'friends with benefits' because that's all they ever could get. I made the mistake with a friend of mine and I didn't want more than friendship at the time. Still it bothered me a lot when that guy started going out with someone else. He couldn't completely forget about it either. He kept flirting with me even though he was in a relationship and there were a few occasions [especially when he was drunk] when he seemed to want more than friendship again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldplay_is_louve. Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 i know excatly how you feel, grace. this has happened to me before. it's, it's just something that i can't describe. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Rose Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Interesting thread Grace There are some of my friends who happen to be females I wouldn't mind going out with, however they are already in a long-term relationship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a_face_of_light Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 lil miss stratocaster (i'm sorry i don't know your name :( ), naaaah, i do not want to sleep with him. :laugh3: definitely not. julia, i really found myself in your words again. that's exactly how i feel. it's a weird thing that's going on. and i also thought about that relationship thing. it'd never work out and i don't want him as a boyfriend, but i just thought about it. i feel sort of relieved that i'm no weirdo who's got awkward thoughts. :laugh3: so i'm not the only one out there. My name is Katie:) I'm sorry I read it like you wanted to sleep with him, so you want to go out with him kind of but your unsure? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Rose Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 *waves at Katie* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a_face_of_light Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 *waves back* Hello:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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