I even had to tell him what my exact weight is and he told me what I should weight. I said 70 kilos would be right for me and he said even 65kg are still too much for a woman.

 

It's psycho terror. It definitely is. As if society wasn't bad enough for many women. All this pressure. And now even bosses are like that.

 

He has absolutely NO RIGHT AT ALL to ask you something so personal!

 

It's none of his business.

If you were working as a flight attendant for an airline, this may be common to reveal, but not if you're working in shop!

 

I guess I wouldn't have told him in the first place but would have left his office right away!

 

This IS psycho terror and sexual harassment in my opinion! :shocked2:

Out of reaction I'd loooove to quit that job. But it's not that easy I guess...

 

woot yeah obviously I am as tall as you Renny. Is it possible that south americans are never very tall?:wacko:

That sucks :( But i hope you can find a way to work it out or find something better cos its awful to do a job you're not comfortable with anymore.

 

Hahaha Well depends, i'm not a tall guy actually, most guys are around 1.80+ here but girls are kinda petit (1.60-1.70) so girls taller than that are hard to find :wacko:

 

I can't even tell you how I feel right now....I've been thinking about this all day long....oh shit

 

Aww, i know how that must feel and that boss of yours is a dickhead for making you feel like that .

....women who are as tall as me: 1,74m

 

:bigcry:

 

Sorry, but I get extremely pissed when I hear that!!

Not about you, but about people who think that at a height of 1,74 m you are overweight with 70 kgs ...

That's ridiculous!!

 

I am hugely overweight and I know. :(

And I feel extremely pissed and frustrated, when people who have an excellent figure in my eyes say, that they are too fat or overweight.

 

Believe me, that really makes you/me feel even worse ... :(

 

Sorry, for rambling ...

I will try to work it out. I'm not sure if I should tell it my work mates or not. They know that he is an ass. But this thing with work mates is always a bit tricky. I'm worried that everyone finds out about it and that the boss finds out that I told everyone...:uhoh:

 

 

I know why I hate society sometimes...

 

bahhhh and he told me something about fairness and stuff----hahahaha

 

my friends said they want to come to the shop and say they are interested in a music instrument...and if my boss wants to help them further they want to say that they don't want to be served by a man that old...hahah

Good luck and loads of strength in whatever you do :)

thanks:)

 

my friends said they want to come to the shop and say they are interested in a music instrument...and if my boss wants to help them further they want to say that they don't want to be served by a man that old...hahah

 

 

:laugh3: that's a perfect plan!

oh my god, that's INSANE. over here, if a boss did that and was reported, they would be out of that position in an instant. i'm pretty sure that qualifies as sexual harrassment in america, though i'm not sure about germany. over here, even if he said he was concerned with her health, he would probably still be booted out because he's the boss of a music store and has no place saying anything regarding employee appearance besides dress code.

 

if i were you, julia, i'd continue to work there, but immediately notify his superiors. if he doesn't have superiors and is the owner of a private shop or whatver, bring it to the different government organizations in germany that others were recommending--this is the kind of thing that they exist for. if it comes to nothing and his superiors or organizations don't help you out or get rid of him, then you should quit. but i would say make HIM suffer by getting him written up or making him lose his job rather than making you the one that's at the disadvantage when you did nothing wrong. it's probably easier for him to get a new employee than it is for you to find another comparable job, so if you just quit without a fight, you're letting him win. i say write everything down as it happened and bring it to his superiors or the government organizations in your city right away.

He doesn't have superiors unfortunately. It's a family company and he is the senior boss...:bigcry:

 

I'd love him to suffer, but I'm scared about it. I'm scared he will have more power than me and lets me suffer...

I think you should escape from this job but the important thing is to have evidence. Proof that he has said these things and harrassed you.

I just lol'd at how the title is basically a Mark pun

He doesn't have superiors unfortunately. It's a family company and he is the senior boss...:bigcry:

 

I'd love him to suffer, but I'm scared about it. I'm scared he will have more power than me and lets me suffer...

 

argh, well that sucks that he doesn't have superiors, but about the suffering: i think you have to do something about it. if he's still in his position by the end of it and if he gives you a hard time, then you quit. he can't make you suffer if you don't work there anymore. right now, i don't think you really have anything to lose by reporting him. best case scenario, he's out of his position or he's closely monitored so he doesn't say stuff like that again. worst case scenario, they don't take your case seriously (i don't think that's going to happen unless laws in germany are drastically different than they are in america) and he continues to be an asshole--then you get out of there. in any situation, i think if this continues or gets worse, you need to get out of there regardless of who "wins." but you might as well try to win by getting him written up, because he shouldn't be able to do this same thing to other girls after you're gone. i think you might as well try to set things right with help from government offices, and if you can't, only then should you get out of there :D

He just wants an excuse to get rid of excess staff in the current economical climate.

he said to me he isn't allowed to say this to me officially, because laws forbid it. also, when a colleague was near the desk where we were talking he stopped talking until they went away. He seems to be scared and he knows that it is not right.

 

I'm crying my heart out here because of this wanker. I hate hate hate him-

He just wants an excuse to get rid of excess staff in the current economical climate.

 

this is what my mum said, too. But he did the same with another girl who is still working there.

 

I don't want to do a good job for him anymore. I mean his employees work for him and his company and if we don't do good jobs the company will suffer. We have to defend the company in front of the customer if something goes wrong. But now I hate this man so much that I'd love to tell everyone what an asshole he is.

if he said that it's illegal for him to say that stuff to you, then you HAVE to report it! personally, i just don't think there's any question about what you have to do. just remember that he can only possibly make you suffer as long as you work there, so if he starts to make you feel uncomfortable or picks on you after you report him, then you just quit. i know finding a new job and all that is scary, but if he's made you this upset (and you have every right to be upset), why the hell should you just let it happen? i think your options are reporting it or quitting.

i am pretty sure it is against the law for him to even have that conversation with you. can you get him to say it again and record him? ass wipe

i know finding a new job and all that is scary, but if he's made you this upset (and you have every right to be upset), why the hell should you just let it happen? i think your options are reporting it or quitting.

 

This is a very good point!

 

Just remember that being upset, going to work with a headache and stomachache each day isn't good for your health either ...

if he said that it's illegal for him to say that stuff to you, then you HAVE to report it! personally, i just don't think there's any question about what you have to do. just remember that he can only possibly make you suffer as long as you work there, so if he starts to make you feel uncomfortable or picks on you after you report him, then you just quit. i know finding a new job and all that is scary, but if he's made you this upset (and you have every right to be upset), why the hell should you just let it happen? i think your options are reporting it or quitting.

 

I don't really see the point why he told me this. Because he cares about my health?No. Like I said before, I am not that fat that it could influence my health. He obviously only wants mega thin chicks working in his shop. So maybe he will pick on me as long as I work there (another 2,5 years) if I don't do anything about my weight, because I said to him yesterday that I'm gonna do what he told me (I'm such an idiot for doing this I know...I should have told him something else instead of sitting in front of him crying and telling him he is right and all that stuff, this only shows how much psycho terror this is!). I'm actually scared of going to work on saturday when he comes to the shop again. I will always have the feeling that he is looking at me and thinks how disgusting I am with my big butt and all that stuff. Yesterday I even didn't dare to take a piece of my orange juice, because I was scared he could see it and think "ahhhh so many calories she is drinking there"....although I say he is a wanker and I should forget it I think about it when I eat something.

 

I don't get this scene out of my mind when he was sitting in front of me and these words came out of his mouth: " There is one thing I definitely do not like about you...." I thought he would say:" your style....your shoes....your jeans don't fit in here"....that would have been ok..."...your big butt!"

 

That was like hitting me in the face!

You just have to realize one thing:

 

Just think how much this idiot made you worry all weekend long. How much he made you feel awful and torn apart.

 

This is reason enough to act!

 

I mean, isn't it suppossed that you have the weekend to relax, unwind and recharge your batteries? Instead he makes you feel unstable and frightened to go back to work ...

 

And as you said, in the worst scenario for another 2 1/2 years :(

 

If you really stay that long and he continues to be such an asshole you'll probably be a nervous wreck at the end of your training ... :(

 

Then again, why don't you tell him over the following weeks that you've lost some weight.

Will he notice the difference? He can't put on a scale to check it ... :rolleyes:

I think I can tell him what I want. He wants to see it! This is what I understood from his experience with this other girl who works there...

 

I'm so scared of over-reacting. esp. Because my Dad told me just to forget it.

 

I gained so much self-confidence in the last couple of months. Esp. when it comes to my body. I was never really satisfied with it. But I realised that you don't have to be a skinny model to look good. And now this. It put me a step back.

 

and I'm such an idiot and started justifying myself yesterday...and even said that I was never really happy with it....fuck fuck fuck...but which woman is happy with her body? I wonder if he knows what he does if he tells something like this a woman who is one of his employees...

I don't really see the point why he told me this. Because he cares about my health?No. Like I said before, I am not that fat that it could influence my health. He obviously only wants mega thin chicks working in his shop. So maybe he will pick on me as long as I work there (another 2,5 years) if I don't do anything about my weight, because I said to him yesterday that I'm gonna do what he told me (I'm such an idiot for doing this I know...I should have told him something else instead of sitting in front of him crying and telling him he is right and all that stuff, this only shows how much psycho terror this is!). I'm actually scared of going to work on saturday when he comes to the shop again. I will always have the feeling that he is looking at me and thinks how disgusting I am with my big butt and all that stuff. Yesterday I even didn't dare to take a piece of my orange juice, because I was scared he could see it and think "ahhhh so many calories she is drinking there"....although I say he is a wanker and I should forget it I think about it when I eat something.

 

I don't get this scene out of my mind when he was sitting in front of me and these words came out of his mouth: " There is one thing I definitely do not like about you...." I thought he would say:" your style....your shoes....your jeans don't fit in here"....that would have been ok..."...your big butt!"

 

That was like hitting me in the face!

 

this is exactly why it's sexual harrassment and it's illegal. even if he hadn't said anything and was just looking at you strangely all the time, that would be sexual harrassment too, and just as worthy of reporting. he took this one very big step further by saying something, and that just makes it all the more necessary to report. and now his creepiness affects your mental health, your diet, AND your ability to do your job...you should NEVER be afraid to go into work because of a coworker. if you ask me, the only responsible thing to do is report it.

I guess best would be to listen to your heart and soul!

 

I you are really concerned about it and if you can't throw this thought off your mind, then I guess the best would be to leave. :(

 

As sad as it sounds ... you're not doing yourself a favour if you keep staying and continue enduring his harassments and insults :(

 

Do your parents have a legal expenses insurance? Maybe you can seek advice from a lawyer first to get an idea, what your options are?!

2 and a bit years training to sell stuff in a record store?

 

You could train me up in 2 hours.

That's a bit disrespectful