EmmaLouiseSmyth Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Dear Coldplaying comrades I'm going to the doctors on Wednesday for suicidal thoughts. I just get serious lows with like a mental numbness. I'm pretty sure it's hormonal because it doesn't affect me constantly. I don't know how to describe it, I just need to do something about it because it has been eating away at me for a number of months now. Annoyingly it all came out when I was with my dad on my way up to college. So when he went off to work and I had to get the bus, I looked like a holy hot mess. At this point only my dad and my mom know (and I don't plan on telling my siblings anytime soon) we're not talking about it though. But I am going to a doctor and yeahhh. I don't know how to tell my real life friends yet without it being hella awkward ;____; So I'm leaving coldplaying for a while, I need to focus on getting better and college work. LORE, I will write you a lovely pen pal letter asap. :heart: PEACE OFF! :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
86Timewarp Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Aww get better and remember, your not alone :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoebeo Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 I hope you will get better. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NumbersGirl Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 :anxious: omgoodness major hugs, best wishes, please take your time and get well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megalomania Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Oh Emma I'm so sorry that you feel that way, you're such a lovely person. :hug: We'll always be here if you want to talk, and I hope you get well soon. :heart: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chloe_Martin Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 You have the biggest amount of support at Coldplaying and we all wish you the best of luck :heart: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lore Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Lovely Emma, hope you'll get better very soon, all the best wishes for you and a big big hug :hug: And don't worry about the letter :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djibou Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 I didn't expect that :/ Love you, my dear, and take care of yourself :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rudy_o Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 You're one of the nicest people I've ever met in Coldplaying. I hope you'll be doing fine! :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmmaLouiseSmyth Posted October 8, 2011 Author Share Posted October 8, 2011 I didn't expect that :/ Love you, my dear, and take care of yourself :hug: It started back about seven months ago I think. I thought it was a one off thing but it kept coming back again and again. Just 4 or 5 days at a time of being so depressed (I hate using that word, because I don't want to sound dramatic....but all I can think about is killing myself) ... and then back up to being happy. Just terrible mood swings D: My ability to hide it so well isn't help me really. Hopefully the doctor can give me something. I don't think my dad was expecting it either, I couldn't look at him when I told him but he was stuttering and didn't know what to say. Thank you guys for all the support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Magpie Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Emma!! Feel better soon and good luck with uni! :hug: :hug: :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alien Radio Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Good luck and get better soon! :hug: ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corgi1998 Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 i had this about 2 years ago and let me tell you all it is is ocd in overdrive in your mind you will get better mark my words i talked openly to my family and doctors and didnt hide anything from them just remember they are unwanted thoughts so when you think of one write it down and look back at it think you aint fucking beating me no chance im here for the fight . good luck any questions im here i still have them now and again but learned to deal with them it is only o.c.d playing havoc. xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmmaLouiseSmyth Posted October 8, 2011 Author Share Posted October 8, 2011 i had this about 2 years ago and let me tell you all it is is ocd in overdrive in your mind you will get better mark my words i talked openly to my family and doctors and didnt hide anything from them just remember they are unwanted thoughts so when you think of one write it down and look back at it think you aint fucking beating me no chance im here for the fight . good luck any questions im here i still have them now and again but learned to deal with them it is only o.c.d playing havoc. xxxxx You shouldn't apply other people's conditions to your own situation, but it something it might be. I'd honestly be scared to look back on what my thoughts were if I wrote them down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 wow Get well Emma and don't forget that we are all behind you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princesanji Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 oh my, i know how you feel, i do... =/ crossing fingers you'll be alright! don't worry about your friends, they will be shocked but they won't let you down for sure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoryABjerre Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 sweet Emma take care to you, and please not take medics chimic... that will brutalize the brain. you arwe normal person and the people need to respect you and accept your character. never forget that lots of love you need from your family and friends . never forget to ask. it's human . much love good luck all the best you are great ! :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Rose Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Byebye Emma :hug: I hope you get better soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petit Prince Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Good luck Emma, hope you feel better soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taameen**sparks** Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Get well soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancyk58 Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Good bye Emma for now and get well. We all stand by you as you are a very special and unique person. Get well soon. A big :hug: to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Final Track Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Hope you pull through alright :) Best wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest howyousawtheworld Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Really hope you get well soon Emma. Many people may not understand exactly how you feel but what matters is that people care and will do everything to help you. Take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiame Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 It's fantastic you are getting help. Trust yourself and your family. You have loads of support here at coldplaying if you ever need it! God bless you x. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luka Modric Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Yes it is very sad and ashamed when you are young and beautiful and becoming a powerful and sexual creature but your mother and your father have no true knowledge of themselves. :angry: Luka knows as you feel and believes in you, it is hard to experience this when you are young and he knows that too. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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