Ask the Oracle on Coldplay.com (Now in session!)

[Jonny and the cake]

12 June 2014 / submitted by Derek, United States of America

Q. Will the band ever play the song AROBTTH again? It seems like it hasn't been played live since 2003. Is there any reason for that?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

There's no reason it won't make another appearance but it hasn't been played live for a while. Not as long ago as you think though. It was played substantially

during 2005 and the last time it was performed was 2007.

 

 

12 June 2014 / submitted by Sue, United States of America

Q. When MX was out, I read that the band had enough songs left over for another album. Are any of those songs on Ghost Stories? If not, what happens to them?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

No. I'm pretty sure that none of Coldplay's albums feature a left over track from a previous album.

They may write a new song on the road and perform it but the song rarely makes the next record - Gravity, Ladder to the Sun, Spanish Rain / Don Quixote, Wedding Bells etc. One obvious exception is In My Place that was written while touring Parachutes and ended up on AROBTTH.

Songs aren't thrown away per se and there will be demo versions at least but that doesn't mean we will ever hear them. The band do sometimes go back to lyrics, hooks and elements that they liked and pick them up again for something new.

 

 

12 June 2014 / submitted by Ma edeh, Iran

Q. Hi!

I just wanna know why Coldplay played Crest of Waves for sound check? Does it have a particular reason?

Thank you :-)

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I was at the sound check in Paris on 28 May where the band played Green Eyes & Crest of Waves. Green Eyes was played later in the proper show - as it was again tonight in Tokyo.

Sound checks are a rare opportunity to try old songs and if they work out, they may make an appearance in the show or at a later date but sometimes they play songs at sound check just for fun.

[Jonny and the cake]

13 June 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

 

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

 

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 20 June.

 

I would just like to ask a question about something. So, I am Leandro, 18 years of age, and I've been having problems lately. Well, family wise, we're all fine. But, love... love's just... I don't know... tormenting.

Anyway, here's the question, do you think people deserve a second chance? I have sinned, yes. I cheated on someone. I failed to keep promises. I just can't believe that I, myself, was able to pull that off, and I regret whatever I've done with all of my heart.

But then whenever it's time for me to move on, and find someone to love, why is it that this feeling of guilt? This very feeling from the start of my road down to hell... Why do I always feel it? Why does it pull me down all of the time? I don't know what to do. Have I forgiven myself as well? I can't answer all of this.

Leandro, Philippines

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

 

The Oracle.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Please email your replies to [email protected]

Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

 

 

 

 

13 June 2014 / submitted by Trina, Spain

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #172

My husband and I are from two different countries. When we got married we chose to stay in his birth country because it would be easier for him to obtain a job. We love each other and are soul mates. Though, everyday is misery for me living in another continent and country. I feel homesick and get depressed easily.

I'm struggling to learn the language and to get a job. I feel like an alien with no life here. I have made friends but I continue to feel this emptiness inside, torn and confused. I love my husband so much but living here is so difficult for me. I keep believing I'm just on an horrible vacation that's going to end soon but that's far from the reality.

Is it normal to feel like this? Will I ever be able to accept that this is going to be my life forever?? Of course true love is about sacrificing your happiness for the people you love - I'm doing it, but I feel like I'm dying everyday. Help.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

It's obvious from your words how unhappy you are and I feel your pain. I don't know how long you have been married so I don't know whether to venture that it will probably get easier with time - once you have mastered the language and found a job. I also don't know what your country of origin is but maybe you should find if there are other people from your country in your area or jobs that require your language to be spoken.

If not, your independence is going to be important to you while trying to forge a life for yourself. You've made some friends but perhaps you now need to join a Spanish class or meet other people in a similar situation to you. You won't be the only foreigner in the country so seek them out.

Find things you like and enjoy - spend time doing them. Make sure you keep in regular contact with your family & friends back home. Try not to dwell on the sadness, but the joy at speaking with them.

If you think your depression is a medical issue for concern, do visit a doctor.

 

Finally, who said true love is about sacrificing your happiness for the people you love? How about it being two people working out a mutual compromise for each other?! Marriage is a partnership, a team, a couple - it's not about ONE person and what is best for them. You must talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Consider options for the future as there may be a solution you haven't discussed yet. Good luck, Trina.

Over to you.

 

My Mum moved abroad with my father when she was in her fifties. At first she felt completely lost, like you she struggled with a new language and culture and felt she'd never adjust. She also felt very homesick and guilty that she'd left me behind. However over time she began to find her feet, she actively searched out other women from her home country especially those in a similar situation. Through them she found employment, a social life and learned a lot about her new home and how to deal with the changes in lifestyle she had to make. We stayed in close touch by phone and email and she gradually accepted I could manage on my own. I advise you to try to do the same if you haven't already. There are bound to be people from your own country who have felt exactly as you do now, there must be clubs or online groups you could join. As for feeling homesick, if you are missing family and friends make use of modern technology and use Skype regularly to reconnect with them. I don't know how long you've been away but try to give yourself time to acclimatise, it won't happen over night. Stay as busy as you can and try to remember why you moved out there in the first place.

Best wishes to you for the future. Tanya.

 

I was so moved by your post. I, myself, had to leave my country two years ago. It was for a different reason, though (studies). I must say that I felt the same way at first. The first day here, I woke up with tears in my eyes. I felt like I'm abandoned and alone. It was hard - but here is how I managed to start enjoying life in here. First, I believe you have to go back to your country very often (like on holidays), it really helps when you know you'll be home soon and you'll share some of your memories with your husband. Then, I started opening to people and I made friends. I used to tell myself that real friends are the ones in my country... this might be right, but it doesn't mean you can't have new great friends. Also, I have to say that you're very lucky to have the one you love beside you. When I first moved here, I would dream of having someone to stand by me, someone to hold me when I'm down... I believe finding love will make it easier for you. Just remember, wherever you're going with the one you love, you're already home. One last tip: listen to Coldplay a lot, it just makes everything easier and "I have no doubt, one day the sun will come out" (Lovers in Japan).

Saad, Morocco.

 

Living in another country is hard at the start. I've seen more people like you who came over here, to the Netherlands. First of all, it would be wise to choose between these things to set your primary goal: the language or a job. When you go for the language, it will be easier to find a job which fits to you, and making friends and contacts will also be easier. When you choose the job, you'll also make friends, don't worry, and your language will follow as well. When you use another language a lot, you will learn it easier. But without the language, finding a fitting job will be harder. When you made your choice, you must go for it. Let me give you a last advice: stand open towards other people. Most people want to help fitting in the society.

Good luck, Isabelle.

 

First of all, you are a very strong and selfless person for doing this for your husband. Hopefully he expresses his gratitude for you if he notices your struggling.

My personal belief is that a marriage can't thrive unless you work as a team. Would it be better if you tried to work with your husband at learning the language, or even taking classes? There's a lot of fun ways to learn a new language. Try to keep things positive and learning will come very easy. Another great way to learn a language is to live in a country where it's spoken every day - so you already have that advantage. Just never, never give up. Everything improves upon practice.

With learning the new language, a job will also come in time. It's something you'll have to work at tremendously, also depending on what field you want to work in. Say you want to work in the tech department. In that instance, learn vocabulary in terms of computers and machines and such. Again, never give up. That's the equivalent of betting against yourself.

Lastly, it's hard living away from your family and not seeing them regularly. Try keeping in touch as often as possible. Let them know how you're doing, and ask them questions. Keep up with Skype, texting, phone calls, etc. Communicate at least once per day. Send packages in the mail.

It will get easier. I promise. But you can't submit to your doubt and worry. Don't give up! Everly.

 

Be Brave. Eyes on the horizon. "...Two wholes when they coincide, That is beauty, that is love." - Lillian Darr

True love is about building happiness together. The sacrifice part should be on an as-needed basis, not necessarily continuously and interminably (from either member).

Perhaps a different perspective, such as a trip home for a couple of weeks, would help you see what you are homesick for when you are in your mate's birth country.

If staying in your husband's home country is the right thing for both of you, you may want to seek out and surround yourself with living 'elements of home' that you can put together. For example, if you had a friendly elderly lady as a neighbor at home, volunteer at a senior center. Find a place that reminds you of home to take a time-out in. Regardless of the language barrier, exploring kindness in other human beings is imperative. When you notice a warm feeling from someone, seek it again and follow up on it; ask to have tea or coffee with the checkout woman at a grocery store you've been going to regularly, for example. Create some memories to start your life, embrace your new place of living...or, find the place and/or career in which you are be happy to reside, establish yourself there, and let your husband join you when he is able.

Also, for depression, check into adaptogenic, herbs such as Rhodiola Rosea and Gotu Kola, supplements of Omega 3-6-9 and sunshine. Tristin.

 

Sorry you are not happy. It must be very hard to live in a new country especially when you don't know the language, and I am sure you are not alone in your struggle. If you really have found your soul mate though, you are very lucky to be together as I feel this is rare.

If he really does love you, as I'm sure he does, then you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel When you spend your life together with someone, there has to be some balance and mutual agreement on the big decisions in life as far as possible, so that you are both happy.Â

I am sure your happiness matters a great deal to him, so perhaps there is something he can do. Perhaps a visit back home, or a trial stay there. True love is not one sided, and sometimes means some sacrifice from both persons.Â

On the other hand, maybe you need to give it some time to settle down there. Feelings and concerns can change a great deal over time and you may come to love it someday!

Best wishes, D.

 

You are in a really difficult situation. My first advise: Listen to your heart! Is this what you really want? The second advise: Have you been away from each other for a longer period? Maybe you should try and after that decide if a life with your husband is worth all sacrifices. The third advise: ask yourself, what is your biggest dream? Maybe you should study instead of getting a job? Do you like to write or/and take photos? Maybe you should get a blog. This could be the start to get in contact with other people in the same situation.

My last advise: Ask your husband. Would he do the same thing for you? If the answer is yes, you should move back to your country for one year and see how things solves. Maybe your husband gets a good job and then you both ends up happy :-)

The answer is in your heart.

I wish you good luck!

Love, Ann-Sofie, Sweden.

 

I really feel for you. It must be so lonely to be in this situation. I'm assuming that your husband has a job and is gaining experience in his chosen field. Could it be that he has enough experience to be able to get a similar position but maybe in another country? Life is all about compromises and it works both ways, it sounds as though you've made a lot of compromises and it's not unreasonable for you to explore the possibilities of your husband compromising for you.

If it's too difficult to move back to your home country, is there a middle ground you can reach? Somewhere you'd both be happy?

As for getting a job yourself, we live in times where the world is incredibly small and global opportunities exist that mean you can work from anywhere providing you have a computer and a good internet connection!Â

Ruth, UK.

 

First of all, I think what a great thing you have done, to be able sacrificing your own life in order to get a better life with your husband, that's what a beautiful thing about marriage is. I believe when you enter a marriage, you begin with one which is yourself, but ends with one which are you and your husband. My parents had the same problem with culture differences, moved to another city with a completely different culture and custom which is sacred in our country. But they always managed to get through whatever came in their way. The key is to never keep it to yourself, always share it with your partner.

It is normal to feel like an alien in a different world, that's natural. But to accept the life you will live forever with feelings like that? It's gonna be hard thing to do. True love for me is not sacrificing your life for your loved one, it is about sharing the same feeling, experiencing troubles and happiness together, and find a way to work as a partner for life. You have to let him know what you feel all this time, that you don't feel same way as he does. Work the way out as a partner for both of your happiness, not just for one of you, and keep supporting each other. When you and him finally share the same misery and happiness, that's true love. Lavina, Indonesia

 

Vacation is a temporary situation. Seems you are actually living there. So live! Am not kidding about this or ridiculing you.

Not at all. I lived abroad for three years, have been here for over fifteen years and my husband has been asked to transfer to head office which means a transatlantic move for all four of us in about a year. I don't want to leave my friends and family and uproot our kids but also know we'll be fine. This is how I look at it. Get a large piece of paper and colourful crayons. Draw a big mindmap of all things that make you happy, energize you. And work from there. In my case it's having fun with other people, enjoying pretty or tasty things, happy boys, feeling fit. In my case this works out in joining some group of people (work, volunteer, committee), indulge myself in (or try to create) art and good food, get involved in a soft landing for our boys and join a gym. For me it's important to be in expressive activities, as I do recognise the emptiness and feelings of being far away from all that is dear. Sitting at home does that. So. Go. Out. Meet. People. Laugh. Paint. Sing. Dance. Life is for living!

Love, Dorine, The Netherlands.

 

I heard someone say short sayings last through the ages because they are profound, and the one that comes to mind:"Home is Where the Heart Is". I have a sister that moved to the mid-west 25 years ago when she got married, and she has been home maybe 5 times within that time frame. However, I hear two possible scenarios from your description that could be masking as homesickness for you to consider.

Is it the transition of learning new skills that is making life so difficult? When I first went to undergrad, I was miserable. It was a cultural shock, and I was depressed and wanted to quit. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I had not weathered the transition. My environment required me to learn new skills, but I did not have to become another person which leads me to my second point.

Home may be the last place that you felt like yourself which could be what you are really longing for. Isolation with minimal adult contact is enough to make anybody feel depressed, but forcing yourself to accept this as your life will turn what was once love into resentment. This can be especially difficult when you lack the financial ability to return home for any respite/ reflection. I urge you to volunteer or start/join a group with other women transitioning into the culture until you can figure out what's best for you. Be Well, Trina. DH

 

Normally I'd say homesickness tends to pass, though it might never go away completely, but that rule doesn't apply to everyone. I don't know how long you've been living there, but if you're feeling miserable and things aren't getting any better, I suggest you talk to your husband about this matter. Maybe he can find a job in your home country too and wouldn't mind moving there? Or maybe you can visit your country more often? True love isn't about completely sacrificing all of your happiness, its also about compromises. Both of you will have to give things up and I'm sure discussing these feelings with your husband won't make him love you any less. Good luck! Amanda.

 

Trina, my heart is with you. 11 years ago, I also ventured away from my homeland in the States to accompany my husband to his homeland of Indonesia. With a 5-month old baby and nothing familiar, it was the most challenging thing I've ever experienced. I lost myself in the loneliness and isolation. My marriage did not survive, yet my son and I stayed in the country for 10 years.

Please know that what you are feeling is very normal. It's like being uprooted. Part of you is still in the place you left and part of you is where you are now. It takes time to find our place in a new land. We often think that love requires great sacrifice. Often with sacrifice comes resentment a breeding ground for toxicity. The most beautiful expression of love is to be honest with yourself, listen to your truth, and share that truth with the ones you love. When we sacrifice our happiness for others, we're not giving them the fullness of who we are.

Allow yourself to feel the feelings that arise with this. Share with your husband and reach out to other expats. There is always a hidden gem in the most challenging situations. I am so grateful for my decade on "the other side of the world." I uncovered things about myself that I never would have if I didn't experience what I did abroad. There is beauty even in the pain of it all. Sending you love. Alia, USA. *Alia also sent a link.

 

I'm in a very similar situation and it's been hard. We had to move because of my husband's job and have been here for four years. We moved from my "soul" country... the place that I love and dream of and want to be forever. When we found out that we would be moving away from everything I love I was devastated. There are times in our lives when we have to make sacrifices, especially for people we love. It may sound harsh but the only way you can and will be even remotely happy over there is by deciding to be happy. Nobody can change things for you. You have to dig deep and find the strength to make it through. If that is too overwhelming and you just can't help yourself then you should go talk to a professional, like a doctor. You also need to do things for other people... get your mind off of you and your situation. I have learned that I won't find another best friend in my new city but I have some pretty amazing friends there that I have learned to be so grateful for. You will always have those times of despair and depression. Don't push those feelings away but at the same time don't let those feelings determine the direction of your life. You have the strength to push through this. You can do it. You've got to try. If you never try you'll never know just what your worth. Carrie.

 

While I have never moved to a different country, I can deeply relate to how you are feeling because seven years ago, I moved from one state to another. My family and I moved nearly 15 hours away from my old home, far away from everything I knew and loved. The sea and the forests, a major part of my life, vanished into thin air and I was trapped in this new place that appeared to have nothing going for it. I hated this new place and convinced myself that I would never be happy where I lived now. I felt depressed and torn, and my relocation and the culture shock haunted me for months, even years. And then, suddenly, without me even realizing it, I began to get used to my surroundings and even like them. The constant pang of homesickness happened less and less until it only arose here and there. I made friends, friends I wouldn't trade for the world. I had opportunities here that I would have never had where I used to live. In the end, it all turned out, and while I still get homesick sometimes, it's never as bad as it used to be. Give it time, Trina, and I promise it will get better. It feels miserable at first, but everything improves. Remember, too, that your happiness is just as important as your husband's. Talk to him about how you feel.

Be happy, Trina. You've got so much life up ahead. Brooke.

 

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

[Jonny and the cake]

16 June 2014 / submitted by Natalia, Mexico

Q. Hi there!

Today is the Father's Day here in my country, but I want to know: There is a Father's Day in England?

P.S: Happy Father's Day for you all and Go England team!! :)

Gracias!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Yes, Father's Day in the UK is the same as there in Mexico. The band are in Sydney though.

England next play on Thursday which is also when the band next play. That will be a very long night with an early start the next day to watch the match.

Well done to Mexico winning their first game. C'mon England!

 

 

16 June 2014 / submitted by Donny, Canada

Q. When is the new video clip for A Sky Full of Stars coming out?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

It's not been filmed yet. Phil tweeted earlier announcing that the video will be shot in Sydney tomorrow (Tue 17 June) and invited people to be in it. Keep your eyes peeled for further information.

 

UPDATE: Here are the details you need if you want to be in the video.

 

 

16 June 2014 / submitted by Claudio, Italy

Q. Hello mighty Oracle! I've read once that Coldplay uploaded (in 2008) a video from one of their first concerts as Starfish: is it possible to see this video somewhere? Thanks!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

That's not actually accurate - it was audio. As far as I am aware, there is no video footage of that Laurel Tree gig.

 

 

16 June 2014 / submitted by Alex, Canada

Q. Have you ever met someone that mentioned they were a big Coldplay fan before they found out you actually worked for them?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Yes. It's happened more than once. There was one particular time I met a young chap who was such a HUGE fan and unknowingly lived near the band's studio. I often thought, 'if only he knew'...

I also meet people who tell me they don't like the band before they know I work with them. I'm quicker to put them straight ;-)

[Jonny and the cake]

17 June 2014 / submitted by Andrea, United Kingdom

Q. Hi Dear Oracle,

Well My question is why in the booklet of Ghost Stories said : All Songs Berryman, Buckland, Champion, Martin* why Chris has a * ?

Thank you so much.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

It's not specifically Chris who has a *. It's after the band.

When you see an * it usually means there's a footnote. You have to look further down to find another * explaining what the first * means.

In this case the * denotes that the songs are written by the band and the * pertains to the publishing.

If you look at the credits, further down the sleeve the * explains additional publishing / writer credits.

 

 

17 June 2014 / submitted by Gabby, United States of America

Q. Hey O,

Before they sang Oceans at Glasgow Chris said something. I heard this is for all the people who lost their art at Glasgow? Could you explain what he said? Thanks!!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

The day before Coldplay performed at Radio 1's Big Weekend (23 May), a fire at the Glasgow School of Art destroyed part of the Mackintosh building.

Firefighters managed to salvage about 70% of the contents but many students lost a lot of work.

[Jonny and the cake]

18 June 2014 / submitted by Maedeh, Iran

Q. Hi!

You know there is a toy town in Netherlands and I was wondering was the second version of Viva la Vida video filmed there? Because little buildings can be seen in the video!

Thanks.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Another question about a song that had two videos.

There was the original video and the alternative video & yes, the latter was filmed in The Hague.

p.s I currently have the Netherlands vs. Australia World Cup match on in the background.

 

 

18 June 2014 / submitted by Millie, United Kingdom

Q. Hello Oracle,

I recently brought the life in technicolour T-shirt from the Coldplay store. When it arrived, I noticed 'technicolour' was spelt the American way. I felt a bit disappointed that Coldplay are a British band so I thought they merchandise would be 100% British. I was wondering if you knew the reason for this? Thank you.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I remember answering a similar question about this before. I checked. January 2009! (I just typed technicolor into the search field).

Now, the film industry or the movie business is synonymous with Hollywood. Anyone bringing out anything motion picture related would generally spell it the American way. Even the the first process of this kind invented in Britain went for an American spelling (Kinemacolor). It's just the way it is and so the word technicolor doesn't have a u.

You can spell it either way but we're in good company with Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

 

 

18 June 2014 / submitted by Raj, Canada

Q. Hi Oracle,

 

Was Alan Menken (Disney composer) involved with the production of the Trouble video? I've seen his name associated with the video and was wondering.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I don't know where you've seen that, Raj but I've never seen / heard that before. I can't really see why someone who scores films would be linked to the video's production.

Tim Hope directed this U.S version.

Sophie Muller directed the original European version.

[Jonny and the cake]

19 June 2014 / submitted by Abby, United States of America

Q. I just got the WORST haircut ever I don't know what to do because I get teased a LOT for my looks and everything else about me basically I have no friends so I'm really lost right now as what I should do HELP!!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Wear a hat until it grows.

 

 

19 June 2014 / submitted by Anton, Russia

Q. Hi!

I've heard on the radio song Trouble in original, but feat. somebody. I have not find any information in WWW about this version.

Tell me please, where I can find this version? I've find chill, dub remixes. But this is not what I've lookin for.

Thank you!

 

P.S. Sorry for my English :-)

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I'm sorry but I don't think you can be looking for Coldplay's original version of trouble featuring an artist because such a thing doesn't exist. You may have heard a cover version or one of songs using Trouble and (hopefully) crediting Coldplay but there have not been any official collaborations.

 

 

 

19 June 2014 / submitted by Dorine, Netherlands

Q. Is it possible to listen to the show that will be broadcasted 1st July from abroad? And how?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

The only details we have about live broadcasts for the RAH show are here.

If we get further information, we will of course let you know as we did with the Australia show that is about to start, here.

 

 

19 June 2014 / submitted by JMS, United States of America

Q. COLDPLAY has been a lifesaver for me at times. I need my music. Lately though I don't want to keep going on with life. I am a YOUNG 48 year old and have MS. I can't get the help I need because of cost. But it's been so long now I don't care. I am strictly and properly puzzled at those with worse, so happy and inspiring. HOW does that work?THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I don't know how it works but it does. This may sound flippant but it's not meant to - maybe you need to try to change your outlook. I'm sure it's a struggle but like you say, there are many worse off.

I'm going to share a couple of stories with you.

You're a couple of years younger than my friend who also has MS. She's as bright as a sunbeam and always laughing and having fun - despite her wheelchair. She went through a divorce but has now remarried and never lets anything prevent her from enjoying her life - different as it is from the one she had.

My other friend who is also in his early 50s, was involved in a car accident over 25 years ago. He wasn't expected to live but defied doctors not only by coming out of his coma but with rehabilitation, walking with the aid of a stick and speaking - albeit with difficulty. He was never bitter about his situation and had one of the most positive outlooks I've ever seen in that circumstance.

Unfortunately, two years ago he had a fall and broke his neck. He is now in a care home and cannot move, eat or drink. Would you believe that he still never complains or speaks negatively about what has happened to him? He's an inspiration. He may have no quality of life but he has life and to him that is precious enough.

All I can suggest is to look into what you can do rather than what you can't. I wish you well.

[Jonny and the cake]

20 June 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

 

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

 

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 26 June.

 

Yesterday was my birthday, and I found out that my estranged dad was undergoing a bypass operation. I don't celebrate my birthdays because my dad was never there. I grew up kind of hating him. But now, I just don't know what to feel. I still care about him, despite him being not much of a father to me. Yet, I still remember how he made my mom cry all these years, and the side of me that hates him just resurfaces. And I know that's wrong. What to do? Sheena, Philippines.

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

 

The Oracle.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Please email your replies to [email protected]

Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

 

 

20 June 2014 / submitted by Leandro, Philippines

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #173

I would just like to ask a question about something. So, I am Leandro, 18 years of age, and I've been having problems lately. Well, family wise, we're all fine. But, love... love's just... I don't know... tormenting.

Anyway, here's the question, do you think people deserve a second chance? I have sinned, yes. I cheated on someone. I failed to keep promises. I just can't believe that I, myself, was able to pull that off, and I regret whatever I've done with all of my heart.

But then whenever it's time for me to move on, and find someone to love, why is it that this feeling of guilt? This very feeling from the start of my road down to hell... Why do I always feel it? Why does it pull me down all of the time? I don't know what to do. Have I forgiven myself as well? I can't answer all of this.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Stop being so hard on yourself, Leandro. It's obvious you regret your actions so it's time to put it behind you and move on.

There is no point sabotaging every future chance of happiness because of a mistake you made. The only thing you need to do is not repeat that mistake and learn from it.

Your actions have made you unhappy and I think you have learned a hard lesson but there is no need to keep punishing yourself.

You're human and temptations will come your way but you have the choice to give in to them or not, so choose not to. Give yourself the second chance - you have proved you deserve it.

Over to you.

 

Since you're from the Philippines I'm going to assume you're Christian. Anyone can change. Just have faith. No matter how far you've gone astray. Whatever you've done that you regret. Ask for forgiveness from those you've harmed and from God. Also, if you can, undo the wrong you've done. Don't forget that you've already changed a lot. Admitting your sins is a big step towards repentance. I've been to the Philippines and learned bisaya and some tagalog. Ang diyos magmamahal sayo! Ingat!

Eric, USA.

 

Yes, everyone deserves a second chance. Nobody's perfect; we've all sinned and we are all unperfect. If you've sinned, wouldn't you want a second chance? To redeem yourself and to prove that you are worth something? Everyone has a place and everyone is loved, even if they do or do not know it. Love is a strange thing. Everyone longs for it and are willing to sacrifice anything for it. When we break other people's hearts or they break ours, we have that feeling of doubt or guilt in ourselves that we could've given the other person better and that we could've proven to them that we were the ones for them. Besides, everyone has their heart torn apart. They are just one less broken heart away from happiness and true love.

There are different stages of love from just liking someone to be willing to sacrifice everything (even your life) for that one special person. That's true love. You must feel sad because lost a piece of your heart, but it will be fixed by that special person who's waiting out there for you.

My advice to you would be to stop being guilty for things in life that you can't control and start focusing on the good things in life. True love is out there for you. You can change your perspective on life. You may not be able to fix your mistakes, but you can remember them for next time.

Good luck! Hope.

 

Our one true choice is to plunge into the mystery of that uncontrollable force.

We could say: 'I've suffered greatly before and I know that this won't last either,' and thus drive Love from our door, but if we did that we would become dead to life.

We love because Love sets us free.

We don't close our eyes to the Universe and then complain: 'It's dark.' We keep our eyes wide open, knowing that the light could lead us to do undreamed-of things. That is all part of love.

Love is only a word, until we decide to let it possess us with all its force.

Love is only a word, until someone arrives to give it meaning.

Don't give up. Remember, it's always the last key on the key ring that opens the door. Penelope.

 

What I always thought in situations like this is that sometimes to heal, you have to go through hell. Yes, it was a shameful thing that you cheated and broke promises, and it is good that you realized that what you did is wrong, but you I would think if you want to stop feeling guilty, you should do something good to balance out the bad. Have you apologized to the girl you cheated on? That would be a great start, so you can try to build back burned bridges. If you have already done that, nothing is better than trying to help others. Do some charity work, help out a neighbor, donate money or time for a good cause, because nothing feels better than doing something good for others. And from the sound of it, you seem like a great guy, you have just made a few mistakes, and you have realized they are wrong and want to fix them, which is amazing. Some people, no matter how obvious it is, will sometimes never admit they were wrong about something, so in my opinion, I think you do deserve a second chance, and hopefully God will give you one. You do not have to take my advice but I would really hope you would at least listen because I think it will help. Good luck to you Leandro, and Salaam, which means peace in Arabic. Catherine.

 

You ask yourself if you have forgiven yourself. I don't think you have. If you still have contact with the person that you had cheated on I should recommend you to tell this person how you feel and ask if this person can forgive you and let you move on. If the answer is yes I think that you can forgive yourself. You say that you regret this with all your heart and if you do you absolutely deserve a second chance. I have also asked my Tarotcards for an advise and the card I took says: "A significant relationship is on your mind. It may be romantic in nature, or it may be an intimate but platonic friendship. Communication is key right now, and it's important to develop trust within the relationship. You can safely share your feelings with someone close to you". The name of the card is "The Lovers". Good luck! Love, Ann-Sofie, from Sweden.

 

Love should never be tormenting and full of pain. Guilt is an emotion that's associated with act of manipulation. The fact that you are seeking advice and feeling tormented leads me to believe that you are on the receiving end. Manipulators don't leave (maybe threaten to leave), but you have to disconnect from them because they are like parasites sucking the life force from you body.

We all make mistakes. It's how we grow and evolve. But the manipulator, they are skilled in learning every mistake you've ever made which becomes their shield for when they wrong you. You begin to self-reflect and give them the benefit of doubt by which you project your own values and morality on to them. Cheaters, Con-men, abusers etc. would do less damage if people asked themselves the right questions when deciding if someone deserves a second chance.

True or False 1. This person inspires me to be a better version of myself. 2.When they are angry, I still see the person that loves me and not another person I don't recognize. 3. They treat all people the same despite their class, religion, race etc. 4. I never have doubts about their love for me. If you can't answer true to all of these questions, my advice is to RUN. Then, figure out why you are attracting these types. Be Well, Leandro. DH.

 

I'm sorry for your pain. Yes people deserve a second chance. That's the beauty of forgiveness. Whether forgiving someone else or forgiving yourself, while counter-intuitive, by sincerely doing so, you free yourself and the person you are forgiving.

Of course if someone habitually wrongs another, who repeatedly forgives him / her, then this is different. Or, if someone habitually takes advantage of other kinder or more vulnerable characters, who each in turn tend to forgive before he / she moves on to the next person, then this again, is different.

Guilt can be a useless erosive emotion if triggered by outdated ethics like say, no sex before marriage (something once sensible before contraceptives). However it can also be useful, like all emotions can be, at drawing attention to an area of one's life that needs to be examined and constructively adjusted.

I don't know where you fit on these points, as I don't know you. You will know though.

The worst lies are the lies to one's self. Be sure to be honest with yourself and you will know where you are and then, you will know which direction is forwards. James.

 

Leandro, to answer your question, here's my reply: every people deserve a second chance. It took me a while to realise it too. I do understand the guilty feeling that you are talking about. I once had a 4 years relationship with someone that I really loved, until I went to another country to study and we had a lot of fight and every single day the guilt feeling tortured me, saying that I'm not good enough and many more. At one point I decided to quit the relationship and just let life in. Then, from that, I learned a lot. I learned how to see the world in a different perspective, I appreciate myself, my family and my friends who are there and always support me, I'm being thankful for everything. Then, a new love comes along. A new opportunity open for me and I try as much as possible to embrace it. Here's my suggestions to you: let life in. Be thankful for everything. You have to stop for a second thinking about whether there's a second chance or not, about your guilty feeling and spend your time with people who are always there for you. Appreciate them, appreciate your good and bad. Listen to Ghost Stories (it helped me a lot), then I'm sure sooner or later you will find love again. Yesy.

 

We all make mistakes in life. What is important is that we learn from them so that we grow and do not repeat the same mistakes again. You feel shame now for having cheated on someone that you loved and did not want to hurt. Here's what I suggest to help you move on and forgive yourself.

First, try to apologize in person. (If this is not possible, do it in writing with a letter or email). Take full responsibility for what you have done, say you are sorry for causing them pain, and ask for forgiveness. You cannot control how the person will respond, and you need to accept that response whatever it is. You may be forgiven or never forgiven, but let that person know that this was in no way their fault.

Second, give yourself some perspective. Ask yourself why you chose to cheat. Try to write down how you were feeling before, during, and after you cheated. Be honest with yourself and do not make excuses for what you did. Hopefully, by getting a better understanding of yourself, you will be able to see warning signs in the future and avoid making the same mistake.

Lastly, release your pain, guilt, and suffering. Forgive yourself, but never forget what you have learned from this experience. Feel confident that you will not hurt another person this way again. You have a kind heart, Leandro, and will share love again.

Best of luck to you! Tracey.

 

Feeling guilty is a good sign. It means you are an honest person. Always keep that in mind.

Well, if you want to get rid of feeling guilty, you have to ask the persons you cheated and you lied to to forgive you. If you are honest, they will do that. After that you'll feel much better, believe me. When you feel better, you will find someone you can love without feeling guilty.

Goodluck. Isabelle.

 

We all make mistakes and when we do, we must learn from them. And the first part of learning from our mistakes is accepting we made one. Your mistake was cheating on someone you loved. You have accepted it and have since been living with the guilt of it. The next part is for you to forgive yourself. Without doing so, the guilt that is eating you up, will never go away. We cannot live in the past or in the future. We can only live in the present. Learn from the mistakes of your past. Let it guide your present. Forgive yourself and move forward.

Love is as easy or as difficult as we believe it to be. It is like a puzzle. For some the pieces come together so easily and naturally that we can call it magic. For others, it is like a complex process of finding the right pieces to go in the right places without much luck. The comfort is in knowing that the right pieces exist and it will reveal itself sooner or later.

There's a life full of experiences ahead of you. Let not your fears and your guilt take away from you the life that you can live and all the love that you can give.

Rex, India.

 

Everyone deserves a second chance and it sounds like you truly regret what happened. You can't keep blaming yourself forever. It happened and you can't turn back time. All you can do is move on. Have you ever told the person you cheated on that you're sorry? Maybe that will help give you some closure. And most important of all: Don't ever cheat on anyone again! Good luck, Amanda.

 

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

[Jonny and the cake]

23 June 2014 / submitted by Carriet, United States of America

Q. Oracle! I am sitting here trying to watch the live Sydney stream which stated it would be on today at 3:30pm 6/19 MST!!! So upset that it seems as if I missed it and it was already on!! What the heck!!?? I used your the time converter that was posted on your site!! Will it be shown again??

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

As MST is behind, it started at 03.30 A.M your time on 19 June, not p.m.

As it was a live stream it's not being broadcast again.

It was audio only but you can see photos via the link that we gave for the live stream and also on Triple M's website.

 

 

 

 

23 June 2014 / submitted by Mikayla, United States of America

Q. So Oracle, I was wondering if at the end of the new A Sky Full of Stars video what the confetti was shaped as: stars or butterflies? I tried looking but couldn't quite tell and I know that they love butterfly confetti (I was at their Portland, OR concert in 2012 and remember a lot of butterfly confetti), but then the song is about stars, so I wasn't sure. Thank you for answering all of our questions and hope you keep doing it for a long time. :)

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

It was star-shaped confetti used for the ASFOS video shoot and (hopefully without spoiling it for anyone going to the RAH gigs next week) during the current live shows.

 

 

23 June 2014 / submitted by Alican, United States of America

Q. Just a simple question: Where was A Sky Full of Stars shot? Oh btw, Coldplay is awesome. Okay, thanks.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

The ASFOS was filmed on King Street in Newtown, Sydney.

[Jonny and the cake]

24 June 2014 / submitted by Jeremy, United Kingdom

Q. Hello Oracle, could you clarify something for me please? Is the new song on the Wish I Was Here soundtrack a collab between Coldplay and Chan Marshall or just Chris and Chan? Different websites say different things. Also, when will I be able to hear it? I love hearing new songs from Chris and/or the boys. Thanks!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I was only saying to Anchorman last week how surprised I was that nobody had asked about this song given it was first mentioned in the press over 2 months ago.

I also notice that different sources are saying different things.

Wish I Was Here is a Zach Braff film that looks set to have a great soundtrack. FYI The trailer song is So Now What by The Shins. Chris wrote a song that Chan (a.k.a Cat Power) sings.

I haven't heard it yet but Dan Green tells me it's great. Zach Braff said this about it: "It's the title song of the movie. It's one of the most amazing songs ever."

The film is released 18 July. Can't wait!

 

 

24 June 2014 / submitted by Chris, United Kingdom

Q. Hi Oracle

I loved seeing videos on Hypnofeed, but I've noticed there has been a long break in new posts and the link seems to have finished! Was the Hypnofeed something exclusive to the Mylo era or do you think it will return in a different form at some point in the future?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

The Hypnofeed was running just before and for the duration of the Mylo Xyloto album and tour. Its last submission was Tuesday, 25 February 2014 via Major Minus, Silencia.

Prior to the Hypnofeed, we had the Exhibition Room so a replacement could be possible at some stage but currently I don't know what's next - if anything at all.

 

 

24 June 2014 / submitted by mariam, Kuwait

Q. How can I get an email or a reminder of every live concert Coldplay are having? I love them.... like insanely

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

You can sign-up on the website where it says mailing list or keep an eye on the Tour section where future dates appear. At the moment there are no live dates planned after the two RAH shows next week.

[Batman]

19 June 2014 / submitted by Abby, United States of America

Q. I just got the WORST haircut ever I don't know what to do because I get teased a LOT for my looks and everything else about me basically I have no friends so I'm really lost right now as what I should do HELP!!

THE BATMAN REPLIES >

Don't ask me you fucking idiot and think for yourself.

*cough*

[Jonny and the cake]

25 June 2014 / submitted by Isabel, Mexico

Q. Hi dear Oracle!

 

Since I have Ghost Stories in my hands (which I really love) I have this questions I haven't seen being answered. Could you tell us who Kevin Cordasco is? Why is he an inspirational young man? And why is the album dedicated to him?

 

Greetings from Mexico and thanks in advance

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

By strange coincidence, Carol from Brazil wrote to me earlier saying: "I saw the beautiful dedication of GS and tried to find out who was Kevin. Great band, huge heart!" Carol also sent me a link to a community page that will you give more information plus you'll see a photo of the little chap himself with Chris. I advise you to have a handkerchief handy to wipe your tears.

 

 

 

 

25 June 2014 / submitted by Steven, United States of America

Q. Hi Oracle.

 

My favorite bands from across the pond are Coldplay and Kasabian. I was just curious if the boys are fans of Kasabian!

 

Thanks!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Yes. Chris tweeted about Kasabian last Friday actually.

 

 

25 June 2014 / submitted by MGL, Philippines

Q. When will you announce the winner of the signed ghost stories mug?

 

Pls tell Coldplay to have a concert in Manila. Thank you!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

The winner is the only person notified so there is no announcement per se.

 

 

25 June 2014 / submitted by Angelica, Australia

Q. Hello there Oracle, how are you?

Has anything exciting or monumental happened to you recently?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I'm very well, thank you. Yes, actually it has. I can't tell you what it is (I should say 'they are' because there has been more than one). The universe is being very good to me and the sun is shining. June has been pretty amazing. I'm loving 2014 in fact! Life is for living. I shall stop now...

[Jonny and the cake]

26 June 2014 / submitted by Luke, United Kingdom

Q. All knowing Oracle,

I was on Wikipedia today and noticed a Ghost Stories World Tour listed in the tour chronology scheduled for next year. I was wondering if you can confirm this and/or give a hint as to when and where it wil begin?!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I'm very confused, Luke. The wikipedia page I am looking at doesn't mention a 2015 world tour at all.

It basically lists the dates the band have played since April and includes the two in London next week.

That's correct as it stands.

There are no current plans to continue a Ghost Stories world tour.

 

 

26 June 2014 / submitted by Kristi , United States of America

Q. Dear Oracle,

Was the Green Eyes video, that was once posted on YouTube, filmed in Central Park, New York City?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I'm afraid I am not aware of it because it isn't an official video for Green Eyes - there isn't one. I have no idea who shot it or where, sorry!

 

 

26 June 2014 / submitted by Christopher, United States of America

Q. Oracle my question is what was Coldplay actually playing during the filming of A Sky Full Of Stars video? Was the song playing out loud for fans to sing along? Please help me Oracle your my only hope...

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

It would be extremely odd to play any song other than the one they are making a video for.

At the end of the video shoot, the band played the song (A Sky Full Of Stars if we're still not clear) live on the small raised podium. They played acoustically over a backing track and the crowd joined in for the final refrain.

 

 

26 June 2014 / submitted by Carkid, United States of America

Q. Hey Oracle,

 

At BBC Radio 1's Big Weekend 2014 during the middle of the opening song Paradise Jonny signaled someone who I'm guessing was offstage with a thumb going down. Can you tell me what that meant?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

You see a lot of musicians doing this. When you see the thumb / finger gesturing up or down, they are signalling to their sound engineer. It's to let them know that they need to have what's coming through their monitors turned up or down.

[Jonny and the cake]

27 June 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE??

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

 

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 3 July.

 

I've gotta admit I am kind of depressed right now. You see, I have a huge crush on this guy, and well, he is soooo out of my league. He plays tons of sports. And here I am. I have cerebral palsy. It isn't severe, but it's enough to make me different. Noticeably different. And I feel like nobody is ever going to love or want me because nobody wants someone with a disability. How do I move on? I just feel ugly and unwanted. Laine, USA.

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

 

The Oracle.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Please email your replies to [email protected].

 

 

 

 

27 June 2014 / submitted by Sheena, Philippines

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #174

Yesterday was my birthday, and I found out that my estranged dad was undergoing a bypass operation. I don't celebrate my birthdays because my dad was never there. I grew up kind of hating him. But now, I just don't know what to feel. I still care about him, despite him being not much of a father to me. Yet, I still remember how he made my mom cry all these years, and the side of me that hates him just resurfaces. And I know that's wrong. What to do?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Happy belated birthday, Sheena. It's completely understandable why you have these feelings towards your Dad. He may be your Dad biologically but he certainly hasn't been a father to you.

I'm sure it wasn't easy watching your Mum suffer but you also had issues to deal with so don't ignore your feelings. I do think it would help you to talk to someone outside of the family - a counsellor perhaps. You're obviously holding on to a lot of negativity and maybe now is time to let go and be in a position where your birthday becomes a celebration of your life rather than an unwanted reminder of who gave that life to you.

You don't owe your dad anything but if you feel you should be there for him, do it IF that feels right for you.

There are many options moving forward. Forgiving him but having no contact, being there during this time of sickness or to continue as you are. It's up to you. You can't change what happened but you can change how you deal with it.

Over to you.

 

Hey there Sheena , I know what it feels like to hate someone you love. But at the end of the day, your dad is still family. And we stick to the end for family , because no matter what , we don't give up on family.

 

Sheena I think in this situation you have to put yourself first. How would you feel if the worst happened and you didn't get another chance to speak to your father? If you have unanswered questions or things left unsaid then now is a good opportunity to clear the air. You may worry about upsetting your Mother but remember the breakdown in their relationship was not your fault, maybe tell her first if you can. But go with your instincts and if you feel you would gain from making contact with your father then take a deep breath and go for it.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Tanya UK.

 

When it comes to how we feel toward those in our family, I find it goes both ways. For example, when someone makes a stupid mistake or just feels terrible for some reason, the family is often the only people who will love them unconditionally anyway. At the same time, it is often harder to get over feelings toward family members who have hurt you or others in your family than if it was someone you know outside of your family. So I understand you when you say that you care for your father but that it is hard to get over the old feelings toward him. If you find it too hard to get over those feelings, try looking at him as a person who just underwent bypass surgery and needs support for that, and not as the father who hurt you and your family. A short phone call just to make sure he made it through the operation ok can mean a lot to him without either of you having to confront past actions. Gavin.

 

Sheena, go see your father before/after his bypass surgery. He may have not always been there for you, but you can be there for him. Don't fight fire with fire or you might burn your relationship down. No one ever truly won by getting revenge. You can be a light in this dark world to him. Life is just too short to harbor hatred Sheena. It won't be the easiest thing to do, but it will be the most rewarding. Who knows? Maybe the relationship between you and your father will become stronger. You have much to gain by going and seeing him and you also have little to lose if you don't. Hope this helps! Nicholas.

 

I see you feel very hurt from your father and it's hard to forgive or to understand. But it is easy for us to judge other people based just on what we see from outside. You saw sad things that made you hate him, but you you cannot see what he has been passing through, or why was he never there. Maybe there is more than you actually know and it would be good to give him a chance to talk to you. Sometimes listening to the other side can be really surprising and changing. Don't let this chance go, maybe you did not have good memories about him, but you could start new ones after this moment. Wish you all the best! Mariana, Brazil.

 

First of all, Happy Birthday! Please don't let another year pass by without sitting down with your father and telling him exactly how you feel. The anger and resentment you are holding onto against him is doing much more damage to you, physically and psychologically, in the long term. (Let's not forget, not celebrating your own birthday!) Once you are able to tell your father everything you want to say, I'm guessing you will feel as if the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders. You will know in your heart if he is truly remorseful for his actions and willing to change. If so, maybe there is the possibility of your forgiveness? We are all capable of change and deserving of forgiveness.

There is always the possibility of a redefined father/daughter relationship that you never imagined. But, if he has not grown as a person or is stuck in his old habits, then you will have to accept the gift of forgiveness that you are giving YOURSELF and keep it moving. The Buddha once said that holding onto anger is like holding a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Some people cannot keep themselves from their toxic behavior(s) and we have to choose to love them from a distance, even if they are family. Either way, talk with your father and get whatever support you need around you to deal with the situation. Best of luck! Holley

 

Don't feel bad about hating your dad. You are conscious about it, and that matters a lot. It's not your fault for the things that happened to you or to your family. Maybe your father also feels bad about the situation. Even if he seems not to, I'm sure he just wasn't conscious enough to realize that you and your mother would suffer that much. And no matter what kind of things you feel towards him remember it's no one's fault, because sometimes the events throughout life just happen without anyone being able to control them.

If you look to the past you'll see things that happened and not you or anyone can change, but if you look to the present, you'll eventually be able to find a way to change things, to make everyone feel better, because everyone suffers, and since you and your mother suffer because of him, you probably never thought that your father might suffer too. Maybe you should talk to your dad and explain how you feel without letting the hate come to your words. It might be difficult to think about facing him but if you feel it's the best thing you can do, then do it and you'll see that it won't be that hard. After all he's your father and even if he acts like a cold person, he's human and every human has a heart, just like yours.

From someone who was in a similar situation, Cris, Portugal.

 

I'm sorry to hear you heard such sad news on your birthday. Nevertheless, I hope you had a great day and your father's operation went successfully. It seems only natural to hear of your bad feelings towards your dad that sometimes crop up, so don't be too hard on yourself, just begin to focus on how you cope with those feelings and how you want your relationship to pan out in the future. Remembering what's happened in the past will be easy, but coming to create a new future between you and your dad will seem really hard, but it's kind of essential. Ignore him and you'll feel like a bad daughter. Smother him and you'll feel like the past doesn't matter.

 

Finding the ground between the two extremes has to be essentially found by you, judging the dynamics of your own relationship. Forgiving your father for the past might seem almost impossible, but it might just ease your load and help begin to reconcile you both. He might not have been much of a father to you, but you have the chance to show that you are his daughter and to show love to him. No matter what someone has done, showing love to them will never hurt either of you.

Happy Birthday for yesterday, Tom.

 

Sheena, you with your father are going through tough times. No matter what kind of pain was caused, no matter how tall walls you built: everything fades at the moment when you realize that you can lose him. This is the most evidential thing to feel. If you really are worried about him, everything's not lost. You both deserve a happiness. Make a step towards him, and you will know the answer for sure: you are needed as strongly as he is needed to you. You don't have to be brave enough to cross out some person from your life. But you need to be as brave as possible to confess that nothing can push you to deny the person you love. As they say, you love not for a reason, you love against the reason. Step forward, and smile from the step in answer. Andy.

 

Sheena, please don't ever let your dad determine your happiness. We as individuals determine our own happiness. You can choose to let your father's absence make you unhappy, or you can choose to be happy regardless of the circumstances. You should never allow him to steal your happiness because you deserve to be happy regardless of him. Celebrate your birthday! You have so much to be joyful about, so why let that all drain away because one person won't be there for you? You're worth more than that.

I'm also in a very similar situation with my dad. My dad is very unhealthy (emotionally and mentally), and thus he's never really been there for my family. Yes he comes to birthdays and such, but he's not there when we really need him (emotionally). He's caused my family so much grief, and as a result none of us really like him. I have feelings of resentment towards him, and I can understand how you do, too. It's ok to feel that way; he's hurt you. It's human nature to feel pain and resentment when someone hurts us. However, for both of us, it's up to us to move past the pain and choose how we will react to it. Both of us have so much life to live, so why waste it feeling hurt and not allowing ourselves to be happy amongst the pain?

It's ok to still care about him, you should. Just don't let him steal your happiness. Brooke.

 

Sheena, Your birthday is a celebration of you! You are not defined by your father, his mistakes, or his problems. The best gift you could give yourself is to realize that you are the most important person in your world. Allow yourself your feelings, with no judgment, but do not be controlled by them. You are a caring wondrous human being so of course you "still care about him". We all have our paths to walk in life your direction and your destiny belongs to you alone.

The empathy that you have expressed for both of your parents shows the warmth of your heart, show yourself the same kindness and boldly set your bounadries. Though you may feel a bit wounded you are not broken, or bent, you are Whole! Celebrate life, celebrate Sheena, and let the world see you shine. You are here to do great things.

Be Well-Be Blessed-Be Yourself (everyone else is already taken).

Cheers to you, Dani USA.

 

I understand that the rejection your father has shown you has been painful, and often people live with resentment for long periods.

While this is understandable, it is not helpful in the healing process.

In order to heal you must move past the anger and resentment. You need to learn to forgive. If for no one else other than yourself...learn to forgive and let go. I believe it is the only way for a person to have peace in their life.

There is nothing you can do about what is in the past and you have no control over his actions.

However, you can move forward and create a better life for yourself in the future. You do have control over your thoughts and actions and those are powerful.

Don't dwell in anger over what other people have done or said. Try to focus more on who you are and the person you want to become.

Whether positive or negative, which ever thoughts you feed will grow.

Finally... don't let what someone did to you (and your mother) in the past, prevent you from having a bright future. Celebrate your birthday. Celebrate your life with hope and belief that it can and will get better.

Be well. Dawn

 

First off your feelings are not wrong they are yours, you have years of anger and resentment toward your father. Now you are perplexed as to whether to reach out to him. I wonder if this is to please a relative or perhaps you feel a sense of duty or obligation? I would suggest if you do reach out to him keep it light and not too personal and make it clear you are not reopening the lines of communication, but merely wanted to wish him a speedy recovery. Maybe one day you can address all your issues with him, but be cautious. Don't let him off the hook for what he did to you, you deserved better. It is sad that you don't have a relationship with him but that is not your fault is it? So don't feel guilty and do what your heart says you should. Best of luck! Name withheld.

 

Sheena, although the things that happen in the past can remain with us, there comes a time when freedom is more desirable than the bondage of hanging on to what is already done. When I was a Hospice nurse, working with people who were terminally ill, the most common thing I encountered was feelings of regret. Families who had "unfinished business" left unsaid had the most difficult time moving on with their lives. Forgiveness is everything. To forgive is not to enable or agree with another's actions. Forgiveness is about setting yourself free. Sometimes, we need to let go of one story in order to create a new one. We can never really know what drives people to do what they do. Your father did things that were hurtful. Hating him will only create toxicity within you. Hate does more harm to the person hating than the person hated. You now have the power to choose the path you're going to create. Choose Love - it's all that really matters. Alia, USA.

 

Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

[Jonny and the cake]

THE END

[Captain Crieff]

*cough*

 

19 June 2014 / submitted by Abby, United States of America[/color]

Q. I just got the WORST haircut ever I don't know what to do because I get teased a LOT for my looks and everything else about me basically I have no friends so I'm really lost right now as what I should do HELP!!

THE MASTER REPLIES >

Oh no now your life is ruined I'm so sorry! I hope you ever get over this because I wouldn't, so awful!!!!!

 

what the hell even

[Batman]

what the hell even

 

19 June 2014 / submitted by Abby, United States of America

Q. I just got the WORST haircut ever I don't know what to do because I get teased a LOT for my looks and everything else about me basically I have no friends so I'm really lost right now as what I should do HELP!!

THE HAIR REPLIES >

The bridge is right over there, go on, JUMP

 

I don't even

[Jonny and the cake]

you guys are making me regret doing all the job

[ARoBttH14]

I don't even

 

I can't even

[Captain Crieff]

I don't even

 

19 June 2014 / submitted by Abby, United States of America[/color]

Q. I just got the WORST haircut ever I don't know what to do because I get teased a LOT for my looks and everything else about me basically I have no friends so I'm really lost right now as what I should do HELP!!

THE HAIRDRESSER REPLIES >

Eh sorry to sneak in the convo I'm sorry I'll fix it I'm terribly sorry

 

...

 

..

ok hold on a minute

 

YES

 

DONE

 

happy now?

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

[Sparky]

Contributor points for you, thank you muchly :)

[Guest LiquidSky]

Do people actually read these??? Just wondering cause I hardly ever do. And I mean from the official site & here I guess too

[Jonny and the cake]

30 June 2014 / submitted by pam soap, United States of America

Q. Hello Oracle, I was strolling through Coldplay's videos and I found the one for In My Place. I noticed two dark figures at the very back. Was that part of the video? If so why?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

If you type in my place into the search field on the Oracle page, you will see I have answered this - most recently in April. It's also on wikipedia . The women were a wardrobe assistant and the then video commissioner at EMI, Faith Holmes. The reason the director (Sophie Muller) decided to keep them in shot was to show the expanse of the room.

 

 

30 June 2014 / submitted by Lidia, Australia

Q. Hi Oracle

I love the new album GS, please tell Coldplay to never stop making music!

At first I thought A Sky Full of Stars was about a person you love, what you think & feel for them but now I'm starting to think it's actually directed to God. Do you know if this was Chris' intention when he wrote the song?

Thanks Oracle, I love reading all the Q&A's!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

It's not directed to God - the mention of heaven has nothing to do with religion.

Following on from last week's question about Kevin Cordsaco, his father Kevin posted the following on facebook after speaking with Chris prior to a recent Coldplay show.

"He (Chris) went on and told us that a part of the album was inspired by Kevin, specifically the song, A Sky Full Of Stars!

 

The last song of the night was A Sky Full of Stars. Listen to the words..'Cause you're a sky full of stars. Cause you get lighter the more it gets dark. Cause in a sky filled with stars. I wanna give you my heart. I think I saw you. Such a heavenly view, I think I see you.'"

 

 

 

30 June 2014 / submitted by Brennen, United Kingdom

Q. Hello, Oracle. Will the A Sky Full of Stars radio edit have no EDM?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

A radio edit is just a shorter version not a reworking of a song. It will therefore be the same.

[Jonny and the cake]

1 July 2014 / submitted by Carlye, United States of America

Q. Hello Oracle!

So as I was scrolling through Twitter yesterday, I saw a Tweet about the new A Sky Full Of Stars EP. Then, of course, I went to iTunes to buy it but it wasn't there. I searched and searched for it but it's not showing up. I even asked a few of my friends if it was available for them and they said no. I'm not sure if it's just because I live in America but I know the release was worldwide. Do you know why it is not showing up? Please help!

Thank you!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Those songs were available in the U.S back in May on the Target Deluxe version of the album. That is why the E.P is not available in America as Anchorman reported.

 

 

1 July 2014 / submitted by JC, United Kingdom

Q. Amazingly I got tickets for Coldplay at the Albert Hall. Is there a support band playing and if so what is the predicted time that Coldplay will be on stage? Many thanks for hopefully helping with babysitting issues!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

AlunaGeorge are the opening act for both nights and the times you need are as follows:

 

Doors - 6.30 pm

AlunaGeorge - 8 pm

Coldplay - 9 pm

 

Don't forget, tonight's show will be broadcast live across the Bauer Media Group's UK stations. One of which is Absolute Radio.

 

 

1 July 2014 / submitted by Kristian, Sweden

Q. Where is the official Violet Hill video on YouTube released by Parlophone?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

You can see it on the Coldplay channel.

If you go to our Recordings section, you can find the videos for each single there too.

[Jonny and the cake]

2 July 2014 / submitted by Carol, Brazil

Q. Dear Oracle,

Tonight's show is really amazing!

Jonny just sang Don't Panic! What was that! So good! I'm so happy here... so far away...

Now they're playing Everything's Not Lost, I love this song.

Wish I was there.

Were you at the gig?

 

love,

Carol.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

You were all there in spirit!

I'll let you into a little secret. Don't Panic and Everything's Not Lost were only added to the set list during soundcheck. Chris said he wanted to play some older songs and asked me which one(s). I said that Sparks would sound great in the Royal Albert Hall but Guy said it was too downbeat. Keith Wozencroft (who used to work at the band's label and essentially signed them to Parlophone) chose Everything's Not Lost. Don't Panic was a popular choice so they ran through them. Chris had some trouble remembering how to play Everything's Not Lost - Will guided him through. Chris also struggled with the lyrics but Phil came to the rescue getting the lyrics via his phone (I hope he used this site to get them from our Recordings section!) Only one run through and it was gig ready. Amazing to hear that song after so long.

 

 

2 July 2014 / submitted by Ze , Portugal

Q. Hi Oracle! Could you tell me what are those videos that Coldplay have been posting on YouTube (True Love, Ink, Another's Arms) and why are they only about 1:30 long? Are they all going to be singles?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I'm not sure if you know but the week before Ghost Stories came out, the album was available to stream. It was accompanied by Truck Animation's full-length animation of Mila Furstova's artwork.

These videos are snippets from that. All are songs from the album - not singles.

 

 

2 July 2014 / submitted by D, United Kingdom

Q. Dear Oracle, just checking; is it ok to upload videos from the gigs online? Also was Debs wearing a stripy skirt last night? I thought I saw her right at the end! So belated 'hello' if it was!! X

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Oh please do upload your photos and videos here. We're all about sharing.

Debs was there but wasn't wearing a stripy skirt.

I saw a lot of familiar faces myself and everyone was in fine voice. What a show!

Hope everyone listening at home enjoyed it too.

[Jonny and the cake]

3 July 2014 / submitted by Abe, United Kingdom

Q. Hi,

 

What was the set list for the two Albert Hall shows?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

The set list was the same for both shows:

Always in My Head

 

Charlie Brown

 

Paradise

 

Magic

 

Clocks

 

The Scientist

 

God Put a Smile Upon Your Face

 

Til Kingdom Come

 

Don't Panic

 

Everything's Not Lost

 

Ink

 

True Love

 

Viva La Vida

 

Midnight

 

Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall

 

Encore:

Oceans

 

A Sky Full of Stars

 

Fix You

 

 

3 July 2014 / submitted by J, Brazil

Q. Dear O,

Now that the scheduled gigs are over, can we say that the Ghost Stories Era is over? Should we wait for the next one or there are still things coming from GS?

Thank You!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Let's not be too hasty, the ASFOS E.P was only out on Sunday! The tour may be over but the era isn't.

 

 

3 July 2014 / submitted by Paige, Australia

Q. Dear Oracle,

I was just reading through your latest questions when I noticed one remarking on how Jonny had sung Don't Panic.

I'm not quite sure where this person seen it but I was wondering if you know where I could see it?

It's really cool to see some of the other band-members take lead once in a while!

Thankyou Oracle

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I think you have misunderstood. Jonny didn't sing the whole song, he sang the part he always does (second verse).

The question yesterday was about the first night at the Royal Albert Hall (1 July). They didn't see it; they heard it on the radio. The show was broadcast live as both myself & Anchorman posted.