Ask the Oracle on Coldplay.com (Now in session!)

[Raphaele]

29 April 2014 / submitted by Aji, Indonesia

Q. What do you think about A Sky Full of Stars? From what I heard It sounds really awesome, it sounds a lot like EDM and it's produced by Avicii. Is this your favorite song out of Ghost Stories album? Or maybe there's another song that's better than ASFOS?

Also due to the fact that True Love produced by Timbaland, do you think it sounds a bit like Hip hop or R&B or not both? Thanks :)

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I prefer the word collaboration here because the tracks you mention aren't cut & dried produced by Avicii or Timbaland.

I think I'm right in saying Timbaland contributed to True Love but didn't co-produce it. It's actually one of my favourite songs on the album & as much as I love Timbaland, it is nothing like what you'd expect from his involvement. Unlike ASFOS which leaves us in no doubt; it practically screams 'AVICII'!

I love EDM but this album's subtlety is too sublime to resist. Oceans, O, Midnight, Magic, True Love... I can't decide between them.

I'm not ignoring Always In My Head, Ink, Another's Arms by the way - it's just I'd annoy myself if I don't choose.

Less than 3 weeks to go. Exciting.

[Raphaele]

30 April 2014 / submitted by Alex, United States of America

Q. I know this is a long shot, but I will give this a shot anyway as this is literally my biggest dream. I am going to be proposing to my girlfriend this next month and I just noticed that Coldplay will be doing a show in UCLA, which is very close to where I live. I would absolutely love to have the chance to propose at the Coldplay show. I know she will say yes as we already have talked about marriage, so there would be no chance of chaos with a resounding no, haha! This may not even be read by some one, but I figured I would give it a shot anyways. Please pass this along to who ever. After we get married, we are going to become missionaries in Europe, this would mean the world to me. Thank you!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

If you've got tickets, of course you can propose at the show ;-)

I have a feeling that isn't exactly what you are asking, Alex. I'm afraid I can't go around giving tickets out - as I am sure you appreciate there are thousands of fans who'd like to go too; I may get lynched!

I suspect the days of the band being involved in proposals at shows is very much a thing of the past. It may surprise you but we get asked the same for every single gig (no pun intended).

[Raphaele]

30 April 2014 / submitted by Becca, United States of America

Q. Hello!

I'm not sure if you can answer this, or if there even is an answer, but it's worth a shot! How often will a new clue be posted for the lyrics hunt? Is it random or is there a set interval? Or is it just after one gets found, another clue is posted? Much thanks!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

It's been amazing to see the fantastic reaction to the #lyricshunt. At 16.45 (GMT) we are 6 down, 3 to go.

All I can tell you is that all lyrics are already hidden.

The clue times have not been what I'd call specific. They can't be totally random either as the times are dependent on the location of the libraries. There'd be no point posting clues if the library is closed because of time zone differences.

[Raphaele]

30 April 2014 / submitted by Yolanda, United Kingdom

Q. Hi Oracle!

I just read the post announcing about the Ghost Stories hidden lyrics� and I've found it absolutely brilliant!! Could we know who has the brains to whom this wonderful idea occurred?

Thanks a lot & have a good day!

Yolanda

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

The brains behind it and therefore the owner of the brilliant brain is...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anchorman.

[ilovechriss]

Long live Anchorman.

[Jonny and the cake]

anchorman <3 <3

[Raphaele]

1 May 2014 / submitted by Raquel, Mexico

Q. Dear Oracle,

I listened to iTunes festival. Do you know the name of the first song that Coldplay played? It's really amazing I been starting over and over in order to hear it again.

Thanks and best regards

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

It's the opening track of Ghost Stories - Always in My Head.

[Raphaele]

1 May 2014 / submitted by Jack , United Kingdom

Q. I came across a song on YouTube and the title was "RIP MCA" it was performed by Coldplay. Is it on iTunes because I cant find it and I really like it? Thanks,

Jack

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

This was a tribute to Adam Yauch - aka MCA - of the Beastie Boys who sadly died from cancer two years ago.

 

They covered (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party). It was a big hit for the Beastie Boys back in 1986.

[Raphaele]

2 May 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

 

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

 

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 8 May.

 

I recently broke up with my ex. I can't even count the number of time we've broken up, but it was an intense, passionate, on and off for the last two years. I know why I kept going back, but I also know why I shouldn't/deserve more. How do you know when you're supposed to keep trying because that's what love is and when you're supposed to let go because love shouldn't be that difficult? Anon. USA.

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

 

The Oracle.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Please email your replies to [email protected]

Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

[Danceteacher]

30 April 2014 / submitted by Alex, United States of America[/color]

Q. I know this is a long shot, but I will give this a shot anyway as this is literally my biggest dream. I am going to be proposing to my girlfriend this next month and I just noticed that Coldplay will be doing a show in UCLA, which is very close to where I live. I would absolutely love to have the chance to propose at the Coldplay show. I know she will say yes as we already have talked about marriage, so there would be no chance of chaos with a resounding no, haha! This may not even be read by some one, but I figured I would give it a shot anyways. Please pass this along to who ever. After we get married, we are going to become missionaries in Europe, this would mean the world to me. Thank you!

They are going to become missionaries in Europe? Being European I strongly object being missionarized against ;)

[Raphaele]

2 May 2014 / submitted by Josephine, France

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #166

It's been a difficult year for me. I've been living alone in a foreign country for the first time in my life and even though it is amazing to follow my dreams, there are days that I truly miss being home. Does that feeling go away? Because it is not easy to feel happy and sad at the same time.

Also if you could dye your hair any color what would it be?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Firstly let me congratulate you on embarking on a huge adventure. It's not an easy thing to do - uprooting yourself from the familiarity of home to follow your dreams. It can be daunting but you took the plunge so well done you!

 

Having moved away from home several times, I have found the telephone (& now Skype, social media) to be invaluable. I miss certain people and certain things but not really the place though. I love where I live and given you can't live in two places (well, you can have more than home but obviously cannot be in two places at the same time) I am in the right place for the moment. I may decide to move again, who knows, but right now it's about being where makes me the happiest.

I guess you just have to weigh up what you gain from your current location versus what you miss about home. If like me it's people, just make the time and effort to connect and plan trips home or for people to visit you.

It sounds like missing home isn't all-consuming, more an occasional (understandable, natural) blip. For that reason and that you are both happy & sad, I think you will definitely find the homesickness will get easier.

Keep in touch with home and if it doesn't make things worse, maybe have a wander around on Google Earth or read books, watch films, listen to music from home and of course look at photographs.

 

I have dyed my hair so many different colours over the years. At my ripe old Oracle age it's all about covering the pesky greys.

Over to you.

 

I've also lived in a foreign country. I was in the Philippines. First of all make you house or apartment look like home. Also embrace the culture. Learn french if you don't know it already. I don't mean with books and stuff. Make friends ask them how to say fun things like "I am the banana king" Learn some useful things too. Try all their food that you don't have in your native country. Ask them. "What do foreigners usually not eat here" and then eat that. Most of all make some new friends.

I wouldn't dye my hair. I like my hair's natural color. I don't know what color I would dye your hair. I've never seen you and you natural color probably looks the best. Eric.

 

I have been living abroad for about 15 years now and I left the country I was born in when I was 18, so I know very well what you mean by missing home! The first years were really tough for me and I felt like you that I was pursuing my dreams but missed my family. I can happily tell you that that feeling does indeed go away with time, especially if you find ways to keep in touch with your family back home with video chat or audio chat. I video chat with my mum several times a week and now it truly feels like we are never apart. Also I don't cry at the airport any longer, so that can and does go away too.

As long as you feel the place you are in now is where you want to be and where you can best live your life now, you will find ways to keep home close to you, even if you are not physically there.

Enjoy your time abroad and best of luck for the future! Valentina.

 

These are extraordinary, special feelings you are going through right now.

First of all, you are very, very brave. Letting go and jumping into life is a big step, always! Be very proud and thankful of it.

By simply embracing this feelings you are going through right now is a good first step to just accept who you are. Your feelings show you that you are connected to your beloved ones and that you are caring about all the people you have left behind. Isn't that a wonderful thing to experience?

If you are sad, just go through it, let tears come, express it and after that you will feel relieved. Maybe you have people around you who are in a similar situation as you are in right now or someone you feel very comfortable with. Talk to them. You will discover, that once you start talking about it you will feel that a lot of people have same emotions, experiences and simply by sharing your situation you can support, give hope and strength to each other. Feeling happy and sad at the same time can be challenging and it is also a sign that you are really connected to your feelings. It's this duality that you will find everywhere in this world. Maybe this feelings come again and again, but it will get easier, for sure.

About haircolour: I like to keep it natural. Love, Verena.

 

It's a great thing that you are following your dreams! Our hopes and dreams are what carry us through life and motivate us to get to where we want to be. Being far away from your friends and those you love can be pretty difficult, and while it may seem like it'll never work, know that it is always temporary and there is always a brighter light down at the end of every long tunnel. Remember, lights will guide you home.

If I had to due my hair any color, it would probably most likely be blue. Nothing says a rad hair color like the color of the Ocean.

And have fun next month! Should be a fantastic concert! Sincerely, Aaron.

 

I'm in New Caledonia right now, on a very little island with extremely poor internet connection to the rest of the planet, 16 thousand km away from home. I literally couldn't be on land further away without going to the Moon. Missing home, missing every single person who's become a part of your life and who gets you so easily is a challenge, one of the biggest ones I've had to go through. But I've been here over a year, and my trip is over, I've done what I had to do, what I needed to get away for, and believe me it's worth the trouble. And

now, I'm better, and I'm ecstatic at the thought of seeing all my loved ones in just a few weeks (I might see you at the concert as well).

So I know sometimes it's hard, it might even get harder than it is now. But before you know it, you'll be incredibly happy you had the courage. Take care of yourself. And in case of emergency, phone someone who knows you best, no matter how much it costs. Alice.

 

I don't think you will ever not get homesick. Home is where you really feel like you are part of something, and it is definitely hard to experience such a change in lifestyle and culture when you are used to something that you have been part of for a long time. But stay positive, home is still there, it's not gone forever, make the most out of your time in a foreign country because there are positives you can go and search for.

PS: I'd dye my hair with the colours of the rainbow! John.

 

I am still in my early 20's but have moved to new places often and have lived by myself for more than five years now. Before that I went to boarding school, so I am very familiar with different forms of homesickness. Usually it fades over time, especially if you keep busy and surround yourself with good people. Immerse yourself in the culture and enjoy the food where you are, while at the same time enjoy things that remind you of home. Ask your family or friends to send you a care package with your favorite snacks and savour them!

Plan a trip or something else to look forward to. Also know that you are not the only one feeling happy and sad at the same time! There are so many others like you in the world, let that be encouragement that you can do it! Keep following your dream.

Listen to the new Coldplay songs and have a good cry then wipe your tears because summer is nearly here!

If I could dye my hair any color it would be purple because I think it is very on trend right now and a cool color (I have semi-permanent dye ready to go when I get the time)!!

Coldplay shows are amazing! Have fun! Karin.

 

In the place where I live, there are many borders, many beautiful landscapes and to go to the city must take many transport and only those who live in the center of the city can go to school and then go to the university without many drawbacks. What I mean is that not all we can fulfill the dream of being a doctor, master, lawyer at the University of the country and for this reason many young people leave their home to fulfill her dream. My friend happens to him the same thing that happened, is enclosed between four walls alone but he knows that if the time passes quickly and that everything you expect will be worth much worth in the future. I give you the same advice to it: with time everything will be back to normal & you're not sad or alone and you'll be with your family or the people that you love most. Luck Josephine! And congratulations on having the opportunity to see my group Coldplay! I never saw. Greetings from Argentina. Daniela.

 

I can relate to how you must be feeling right now, I've lived alone in a foreign country too. I lived on the other side of the world from my family. I was having the time of my life, but at the same time I was also crying my eyes out because I was homesick. The answer is yes, the feeling does go away. It might take a while, but if just keep going and don't give up on your dreams, it'll go away. I know it's hard, but when you feel sad, try to go out with your friends there or meet some new people to hang out with. Try to avoid calling your family at those time, cause that will only make it worse. Good luck, I know you can do it. Ps: I'd dye my hair pink or purple, I have no idea why though. Amanda.

 

Leaving home and moving to another country is not easy but following dreams is the best thing that we ever do. Sometimes you miss home and consider why you are here, why you aren't at your own town. But when your dreams come true you're gonna get used to that feeling and being happy again. You should not give up on your dreams. If you leave them and go back to your home you'll be sad lifelong because you'll have left behind your dreams, I mean your "life" We have one life and should live it what we want to live. Trust me and go on your way. Finally I haven't think about ever before, but I would choose ginger.

Good luck. Oylum.

 

Last year I was on a two-week trip to a foreign country with my school. Although it was such an amazing opportunity, there were days where I was quite emotional about not being at home with my family and friends. I felt exactly how you feel, happy because you're having a great time but also sad because you're away from home. It feels as if the homesick feeling is almost always with you no matter how much of a good time you're having.

I found that communicating with friends and family from home (through phone, email) helped me a lot, because it reassured me that everybody back home is ok and it made me feel less lonely. I also found that taking my mind off of my homesickness and focusing on the positive things about being in another country helped. It helps to be appreciative of your new environment, and to focus on the positive things rather than your homesickness.

And if I could dye my hair any colour it would probably be a lighter shade of brown.

All the best. Rhys, Canada.

 

Thank you very much for all your lovely answers this week! Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

[Raphaele]

5 May 2014 / submitted by Tim, United Kingdom

Q. I'm a big fan of live music, but have noticed a new trend of not announcing gigs until around 2 weeks before they happen. Prince has just done it and Coldplay seem to be too. Can The Oracle explain the trend?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

That's not actually the case. Prince's tour is called Hit & Run and by definition that suggests last minute and fairly spontaneous. Many of his gigs were only announced merely hours before.

Our tour dates were announced in April for dates up to and including July.

Ticket information for the remaining shows will be emailed exclusively to subscribers to the mailing list.

I'm afraid I can not give out details of when. Check your in box (& spam folders just in case).

[Raphaele]

5 May 2014 / submitted by Peter, United Kingdom

Q. Hi Oracle!

I was watching Jools Holland and I noticed Jonny sitting behind the piano during the start of Magic but the piano was playing itself, so I was wondering If Jonny played the intro or was he sat there for another reason?

Thanks!

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

A few people have asked about the piano playing itself. This isn't the first time the band have adopted this technique (don't forget, it also featured in the Christmas Lights video). More of you seem to have noticed with Magic especially as Chris wasn't sat at it.

Jonny does indeed play the beginning which can be seen more clearly from footage of their recent performance for Sports Relief.

[Raphaele]

6 May 2014 / submitted by Cynthia, Peru

Q. Hello Oracle, I've noticed that you have missed South America for the lyrics hunt... Can you give us some love? Someday?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

We DO love you. I promise you that. With almost 200 countries in the world, there were always going to be fans from around 191 of them that were disappointed.

I don't know when the band will come back to South America but they love you and when they can, I am sure they will.

[Raphaele]

6 May 2014 / submitted by She , Philippines

Q. Why and how did Coldplay come to a decision of collaborating with Avicii?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Chris is simply a massive fan of Avicii and was really keen to collaborate. That's it really.

[Raphaele]

6 May 2014 / submitted by Johnny, United States of America

Q. I know Magic and A Sky Full Of Stars are the first two singles of the Ghost Stories era. What does that leave Midnight? How would this be classified?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Singles are usually taken from an album - but not always - and released for sale. Midnight was what they call in the biz, a promotional track.

The band premiered the video on the website but it wasn't released as a single. Promo items such as digital downloads are commonplace but of course in this case, there was also the limited pressing of a 7" for Record Store Day. That doesn't make it a single though - despite it having a video.

[Raphaele]

7 May 2014 / submitted by Lele, Italy

Q. Hi Oracle

Why and how Coldplay come to a decision to collaborating with Giorgio Moroder ? I love this collaboration...

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I assume this follows on from the Avicii question.

This isn't a collaboration; it's a remix. Totally different thing but anyone who does an official remix - or that the band work with - the band will be fans of. That's the common denominator, they wouldn't pick someone if they didn't like their work.

[Raphaele]

7 May 2014 / submitted by Raymond, United States of America

Q. Dear Oracle,

 

Do you happen to know the whole setlist that was used this recent concert in NYC? The show aired on the SiriusXM only played 15 songs. Is that really the entirety of the show?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Yes, these intimate shows are shorter than previous arena / stadium shows but the reason the radio station only played 15 songs is at the request of the band not to air brand new, as yet unheard tracks from the album (True Love). Only 12 days to go!

The set list was:

Always in My Head

Charlie Brown

Paradise

Magic

Clocks

Another�s Arms

God Put a Smile Upon Your Face

Til Kingdom Come

Midnight

Viva La Vida

Fix You

Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall

Oceans

A Sky Full of Stars

Life Is for Living

True Love

[Raphaele]

8 May 2014 / submitted by Nicolas, United States of America

Q. Hey Oracle! Have the winners of the #morecoldplay sweepstakes been contacted?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

I actually don't know though I would think so as the closing date was Monday. The #morecoldplay sweepstake was independently organised and executed by Target so I would suggest having a nosey on twitter. The hashtag should help.

[Raphaele]

8 May 2014 / submitted by Hugo, United Kingdom

Q. Who made the artwork for Ghosts Stories?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Mila Furstova is the amazing artist. As always, the band have been involved with the process but Mila created it.

[Raphaele]

8 May 2014 / submitted by Chris, Germany

Q. Is it true that the members of Coldplay split their earnings 20-20-20-40?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Yes it is. Chris mentioned this during his interview with Zane Lowe last week. He added he wasn't sure if he'd said that before. He had - he told Howard Stern back in 2011.

[Raphaele]

8 May 2014 / submitted by Raphael, Australia

Q. Dear Oracle,

I would like to start an official Coldplay Fan club. The concept would be to ask a yearly fee which would cover costs of special fan release, give access to pre release Tickets and would send some goods for Christmas or any other occasion. Coldplay used to have an official community and today there are several community on the web.

What about creating an 'official' community?

 

Thank you

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Thanks, Raphael but the answer will have to be "no". Coldplay used to have a fan club in the early days but it was closed back in 2001. The band do not wish to have one. They feel that fans pay out enough money for music, tickets & merch without having anything else.

This is why we have the mailing list - by signing up, fans receive a newsletter. We have competition giveaways too as well as exclusive tour news etc.

[Raphaele]

9 May 2014 / submitted by S, Philippines

Q. Hi Oracle! So I have this theory...

 

 

Phil & Anchorman are one & the same. Any plot twist (aka your thoughts) on this?

 

P.S. Show Manila some love. :( We've been feeling left out. Forever waiting. :(

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

No. Here on the website you're either reading posts by Anchorman or blogs by Roadie #42 or - as you're here - answers by me.

Phil tweets and signs off PH so that's how you'll spot him. Anchorman follows tweets with A and I can assure you A and PH are not one and the same.

 

Ps if you're here looking for Team Oracle, the replies will be posted over the weekend.

[Raphaele]

9 May 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

 

As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

 

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 14 May.

 

Recently I�ve been on the internet a lot and I saw a post about social anxiety and because I related a lot, I searched about it. I think I may have this disorder but I don�t know how to tell my parents because I don�t tend to tell them about my problems. I�m afraid they will think I�m exaggerating but if I don�t tell them my problem will just get worse to the point that I will not longer be able to marry/socially interact and that is why I am looking for your help. What should I do? Thanks in advance. Marina, Mexico

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

 

The Oracle.

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Please email your replies to [email protected]

Including your twitter address may result in a follow back.

[Raphaele]

11 May 2014 / submitted by Anon, United Kingdom

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #167

I recently broke up with my ex. I can't even count the number of time we've broken up, but it was an intense, passionate, on and off for the last two years. I know why I kept going back, but I also know why I shouldn't/deserve more. How do you know when you're supposed to keep trying because that's what love is and when you're supposed to let go because love shouldn't be that difficult?

THE ORACLE REPLIES >

Sometimes we repeat cycles out of habit, out of love, out of fear or because we simply don't know how to break it. There are times we hope that things will change and improve. Sometimes they do but the reality is that rarely happens.

Some people say that love isn't easy but I'm with you, it shouldn't be that hard. I don't think love means you have to keep trying - sometimes it's also about knowing when to not.

I'm not saying that love doesn't require work or effort but when it's hard work and too much effort, what is the point?

If what you get back isn't near enough what you put in, you have to step back and try to look at it from a distance.

I bet if your friend was going through the same, you'd advise them to walk away. Try to take the same advice for yourself from yourself.

If you spend your time wondering how it would be if you weren't together, you probably shouldn't be together. Unless you let go of this love, you will never know if you did the right thing.

You get one life. Don't waste it.

Over to you.

 

I don't think there is a set standard for when to know whether it is right to let go or keep trying because I think you must search inside yourself to find that answer. Relationships are rarely close to being perfect and there will be arguments, troubles, and pain involved. However, if you find you both always understand where one another is coming from, you can get through troubles together as a team, and if the happiness you find from being with them outweighs the pain, then hang on to them. Only you can know if this is true. Close your eyes, do some deep breathing, forget all the passion and emotions going on in this very moment, and imagine life a year or so down the road without them or perhaps life as just friends... are you happier there? Or lost? Now, if you really think you deserve better like you said, then you are right. Whatever you do, don't settle for darkness that overcasts the light. Best wishes, Alex.

 

It's okay to love a person but love there are many difficulties, Love is not easy and is better to leave someone that you know will make you hurt. What I try to say is that a relationship is based on respect for each other but you're like two years in this situation and that's not good for you or for other person.I know it will be difficult to understand at first but in the end will achieve overcome. You deserve someone who loves you and who have passed all do not give up.

I wish you the best, Andrea.

 

My advice is that you fight to be with the person that love and trying to eliminate all the differences that have but but works to let it go, I have had problems similar to yours because all the girls who are interested in does not feel the same as me, and for this reason the relationships have not lasted, I would find my soul mate and feel all the intensity that feels. In short:If you believe that, you will never feel the same on the other person looking for the way to be with that person, but everything is difficult and never know if true love is easy or difficult because it depends on different circumstances. Axel, hugs from Argentina.

 

The fact of the matter is that you could get back together with them but you'll most likely end up breaking up again; patterns become habit, and when that happens there's really nothing you can do to stop it. You need to figure out how you truly feel about this person, if this keeps happening, most likely one or both of you has doubts about the relationship, and you should discuss this with your loved one. Whatever the outcome, it will be the best for the both of you no matter what.

"Settle for nothing less than certainty in matters of the heart." -Ichabod Crane; Sleepy Hollow. Colin.

 

I am not the type of person to do this sort of thing but this struck a chord in my heart. In my eyes Love is joined by Hope and Faith. Your love is the most powerful thing and if someone is blind enough to not take your gift they do not deserve your time. You are special for not giving up on love and your heart may be too big for him. Sorry if this was not what you were looking for, it is just how I feel and live your life. Drew.

 

Yes. Love shouldn't be difficult, love is not a guessing game that whether he/she still love me or not. Love is a thing you should ask from the bottom your heart, whether you really in love in she/he or not. If you really in love in her/him, you will never questioning yourself that should I give up or should I still go for it.

Ask your ex! What was she/he intention for breaking up with you! If she/he say its complicated and can't tell you that she/he love you deeply too, then say GOODBYE. Don't waste time on somebody that don't appreciate you. Find somebody that you both really love each other and appreciate you in every single moment of life.

Regards, Elisis.

 

Well, I wouldn�t say there are set rules to test whether someone is good for you or not, rather it�s the story your heart sings to you. That being said naivety is a huge vulnerable aspect in a relationship but it�s the risks that you take that weaves you closer. you really wouldn�t want to be fighting in the little time you both will have on this earth. You know, being passionate is great but it�s not the only ingredient of a relationship, you have compassion, understanding , love, trust. These maybe just words but the ability to complete them actively will make for a better and happier relationship a one worth staying for. May you find peace and bliss.

Yours sincerely, a soul that cares, Salma.

 

I myself hasn't been in a relationship before, but there's something I know that which is live is always full of contradiction. Live is full of hows and whys and I believe that deep inside your heart, you have made the decision on whether to keep going or let it go. You shouldn't think too much or question yourself too much, (You only live Once) just follow your intuition and enjoy your life. Zi.

 

I'm not a judge of love and I'm assuming you're unmarried, but in my experience the relationship you describe wasn't worth continuing. Not that it didn't have value. It will resonate in your heart forever, even when you begin to love someone new. I've been there, I know but how did I learn? When I realized I did not like who I was with him. When he no longer made time for me. When, despite my lifelong insecurities, I owned up to the fact that, yes, I did deserve more. It's one thing to be ignorant about that in a relationship - that's excusable - but when you KNOW you deserve a healthier, better commitment, well, then that's just plain foolish, isn't it? Love is compromise, teamwork, respect - a choice. Passion may fade, yet love's intensity grows. And we all need someone with whom we can trust our heart in their hands. That best person is out there for you, the passion may be different with your next love. That's the beauty of it, that each person leaves a distinct mark but it will be there. Move on! Now, if you're married, this advice would be have to be thrown into the trash bin...

Best of luck, Robin.

 

It's hard to know when a relationship is worth saving. You may think that you are in love with someone when in fact the person is just a familiar face that is hard to let go of. Every relationship has it's flaws, but I live by this saying: "True love is putting up with someone's flaws because somehow, they complete you." Don't save a relationship that is destined to fail, but don't give up the person who makes you happy. Love is all about give and take and only you can decide if you are putting in more than you are taking out of a relationship. If you were not truly happy in that relationship my advice would be to move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Catherine.

 

Love is NOT that thing you said. Love is about respect, confidence, trust, making the other person feel better with himself, wanting his/her happiness. It can be difficult! Nobody said It was easy! My bf lives in another city... It's not easy for me! But he makes me feel so well that I think it is worthy to hold on until we can live together.

I think you talk about passion, sort of addiction to that person. And that's ok! But you should keep this in mind so you won't suffer!

Believe me, there is plenty of people who would love to make you happy, even if you don't think it's possible now! Mar.

 

Nothing worthy would be easy and if it's easy it then it wouldn't be worthy. Keep this always on mind, specially about love. You have nothing to think about. If you have been on and off and breaking up several times but always getting back it's because something inside you tells you that beside the other person is where you belong. Love is though and even though it's supposed to be great, sometimes, it's painful, but that's not a reason to give up. If you are really and truly in love, you don't give up. If your feeling are real and that loves comes from the bottom of your heart, then, even if you want to be apart, you always end up together. That's why despite many break ups you keep getting back with each other, because if it's true, you can't help it, you can't give it up no matter how much you think it will be better for you and no matter how much you try. Eva.

 

Wow, heart-breaking, torn experience that can be. For me, I knew it was time to let go when the feelings of disappointment, hurt, anger, guilt, shame, etc. outweighed the times we spent in pleasant feelings. When the past couldn�t be let go cause it was still the present. When actions rarely spoke louder than words; time and time again. When we had driven down that same road one too many times! There is a difference of hard times, working together, making changes versus talking about change but not making any or just continuous, unhealthy communication.

When I said good-bye it was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. I thought, I'd never again find such a love. I wondered how I would do it? I made a plan. I stuck to it. I asked friends for support. I took it day by day. Every day it got easier and life reminded be in subtle ways that I made the right decision. A year later and I am now in the healthiest, happiest, most loving and sexiest relationship I have been in all my life.

Maybe good things in life comes from hard work and patience. Not only can relationships be hard work but saying good-bye to them can be, too. And you have to have the patience to see it as for the best�but it is worth it. Doing what you know to be true in your heart, always ends up being worth it. Nina.

 

A relationship is a journey we travel be it with a friend or a lover, not everyone is lucky enough to meet their soul mate. It is hard to recognise this when you have become familiar with someone and feel a sense of security with. There comes a time when you have to find YOU again as you can become morphed into the person you are with and lose your own identity. Taking time aside to replenish your soul and learning to love yourself is good as without love for yourself you can't give it. We must learn from people that come into our lives and by taking a lesson from each we begin to build ourselves and our standards and morals. Once we know ourselves it is easier to get to know someone else and what we expect from them.

When you can no longer make each other happy anymore then it is time to take that time out whether temporary or permanent to reassess yourself and what you want from a relationship or indeed life.

Love isn't difficult but we just expect to get it from another person when love is in us all so if you start to love yourself and your life as an individual it opens up a whole new experience that is Love.

Once you have found this then you will attract the people that love you for who you are.

Don't be afraid of new starts think of it as a Spring clean. Angela.

 

To know the answer, you need to look back at your relationship very critical. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but if you have a true on/off relationship (with arguing or something like that in the 'off'-time), I say it has no sense anymore and it's better for both to break up. When your love feelings are sometimes stronger and sometimes less, that's normal. Like I already said, every relationship has its ups and downs.

One more thing: If only one of you doesn't feel in love anymore, is it important to let go. This will be very hard, but it's the best. Half love is no love. Don't worry when that happens. You will find someone else.

Isabelle.

 

I had been struggling too for two years just to move on from my ex.

Even after we broke up, we were still dating. How do we know if we

should keep trying or let go? For me, I'll just ask myself, is he

worth it? I thought all the good side of him and all the bad side of

him, and decided if his bad side is tolerable or not. And knowing that

you deserve better than him is also helpful. I eventually moved on

when I knew I was tired of the drama, tired of kept going back when I

knew we would break up anyway, and I was tired of crying. I know it's

not easy to move on. Instead of thinking of him, you can hangout with

your best friends, look for a new crush, find a new hobby, make new

goals for your future and try to make it comes true. Keep being

optimist, okay? Ira.

 

Thanks to all those who replied to this week�s question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.